Socks For Sex
by Nostalgicmiss
Summary: What happens after the wedding? Is life as a housewife everything it's cracked up to be for Bella Cullen? Will her single best friend Alice ever find the love of her life? Or is she destined to spend her time in the fashion world alone? AH OOC Rated M
1. Bella Cullen

**Disclaimer: We do not own Twilight, but we do own the socks that are on Edward, Jacob, and Jasper's feet......and the floor that they end up on.......;) Stephenie Meyer is a genius for inventing these characters for us to play with! Also, all copyrighted items that appear in this story are not ours either, they belong to their owners and we intend no harm......;)**

**This Chapter is Goldentemptress . . . over to you girl :)  
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**A/N: Ok everyone, here it is, the introduction to Socks for Sex, my project with my awesome companion Nostalgicmiss. I am taking on the character of Bella, and Nostalgicmiss is the epitome of all that is Alice.......;)  
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**Bella Cullen and Alice Brandon and the crazy twists and turns of life after the wedding, and the search for a lasting relationship. We hope you enjoy it and the rest of the story will be posted sometime in the coming weeks......it's coming along quite nicely! We plan to post at least a few times a week when we finish editing our chapters, so look forward to the continuation of the story.**

**I am personally dedicating this chapter to the wonderful and amazing Ashel-13 and HaydenMCullen for agreeing to preview this story for us......they are both an inspiration to fanfiction, and if you have not read their work, you are missing out!**

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BELLA CULLEN INTRO  
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Six years ago, when I had my first official conversation with Edward Anthony Cullen, who sat down on the couch next to me in the student union of the University of Washington, I never imagined that my life would turn out like this.

He was the sexy, outgoing, yet very responsible and studious; university swim team captain and president of the Beta Theta Pi fraternity. Before the first time we ever even spoke, I was well aware of the charisma that my now husband possessed, and he was the object of desire for most of the female population on campus.

He was a junior when I entered the University of Washington as a creative writing student over seven years ago, and the only reason I ever even met him was because my older brother Emmett, who was also a junior, was on the university swim team with him as well as in the same fraternity.

During my first week of class, my brother's entirely too perfect, Barbie doll of a girlfriend, Rosalie, insisted that I just _had_ to go to watch a swim team practice with her. I wasn't exactly looking forward to sitting awkwardly on the bleachers alongside the indoor practice pool with a group of giggling sorority girls, ogling a bunch of pale swimmers in Speedos, but she convinced me that I needed to get my head out of a book and enjoy some 'eye candy' while I was still young.

The first time I saw him, I thought that I was hallucinating. He was standing on the end of the diving platform, stretching backwards and bouncing on the balls of his feet in preparation for a dive. He had long, lean, muscular legs and every single defined muscle in his back rippled as his arms moved. The pale skin on his back sparkled with the movements of water droplets running down his back and into his tight blue Speedo.

In an instant, he was gone, and a blur of movement sunk into the water gracefully without as much as a splash. It had to have been an apparition I thought as I intently watched the water. Within a few seconds, this god of a man was climbing out of the water using a ladder just feet in front of me.

The girls around me were silent as he used his strong arms to pull himself up out of the water. Then he pulled off his blue swim cap to reveal slightly matted messy bronze colored hair. I couldn't help but stare at him, and as he walked up towards us, his eyes met mine.

They were the most sparkling emerald green color I had ever seen. He flashed me a coy, crooked smile as he walked up and said hello to Rosalie sitting beside me. I could feel the heat in my cheeks rise as I blushed at his gorgeous smile. He kept eye contact with me as she talked to him and I could have sworn I was going to have to reattach my jaw later as I gawked at him.

I vaguely remember him asking her about me, and I snapped out my trance as he extended his hand out in front of me, saying, "It's a pleasure to meet you Bella Swan, I'm Edward Cullen."

I could only choke out a squeak of a "hi," as he took my hand into his and placed a kiss on the back of it. My skin felt like it was on fire, and I instantly knew that he would be the object of all of my fantasies.

A year later, I had only seen him a handful of times; mostly exchanging hellos at swim meets or house functions that Rosalie dragged me to kicking and screaming. I knew that he would never be interested in me, but I hopelessly lusted after him.

It wasn't until my best friend and roommate, Alice, decided that 'plain' Bella needed a new look; that I even fell into the same category of beauty that he resided in, and even then I felt that I still fell short.

Alice Brandon and I had been friends since high school, both coming from the small town of Forks, Washington, a few hours away from Seattle. She had always been seen as the popular, energetic, cheerleader with unbelievable looks who took pity on the 'bookworm' Bella Swan.

We had met on my first day of school my junior year, after I moved there from Phoenix. My parents had gotten divorced, and I was sent to live with my dad, Charlie, who was the police chief of the tiny little town in the Olympic Peninsula. My brother Emmett had already gone to Seattle for college, so I was left alone to take care of my quiet, stubborn, conservative father.

This tiny little pixie of a girl with spiky black hair and piercing blue eyes sat down next to me at lunch and introduced herself as 'Alice, your new best friend'. Her energy was infectious and we instantly became friends. She was artsy and always knew that she wanted to be a fashion editor or stylist when she grew up, and I longed to be a novelist or an editor at a large publishing house. When high school ended, we both decided that we wanted to go to the University of Washington, and that we would be roommates.

During our sophomore year in college, Alice grew tired of my introverted tendencies and along with Rosalie, they gave me a complete makeover, head to toe. I was plucked, waxed, teased, and dressed up to perfection.

My plain brown hair was highlighted with tints of auburn, and cut into long flowing layers that fell down to my shoulders. They made me go with them to a spa, and I was tortured with hot wax as they shaped my eyebrows, and 'cleaned up' my bikini area, _for swimsuits of course_, Rosalie had said.

Then I was dragged to a makeup artist who taught me how to perfectly apply makeup to highlight my chocolate brown eyes and pale skin. Once these things were done, there was a drastic difference, but Alice informed me that her job was not done if anything from the GAP was still left in my closet.

She had been interning at a fashion magazine based out of downtown Seattle since the summer before at that point, and she dragged me kicking and whining to their 'closet of magic' for free samples. Rosalie and Alice spent two long, excruciating hours forcing me to try on uncomfortable designer clothes and heels that I swore would be the death of me.

It was a good thing I was a size six, because the clothing samples actually seemed to fit perfectly. When they finally stopped torturing me, I was sent home with bags full of new clothes and Alice cleaned out my 'hideous strip mall wardrobe' and donated it to the Goodwill.

The reaction to my change was staggering, and guys who had never even looked twice at me were begging for my phone number. One of my guy friends named Jacob, who was also a major in the English department started taking me to parties, but I couldn't force myself to see him as anything more than a friend, he would never stand up to my fantasies of Edward.

He finally relented on trying to make our friendship into anything more, and he became my guardian whenever we would go to fraternity parties. Jacob had decided to pledge Emmett's fraternity, so the first time that Edward saw the new me was when Jacob took me to the Spring Formal.

While Jacob was off in a corner doing shots with his pledge brothers, the Greek god of my dreams approached me as I sat at a table with Rosalie and some of her sorority sisters.

He came up behind me and whispered "You're absolutely beautiful," in my ear and when I turned to face him, he had this crooked sexy smile plastered on his face.

I stood up and said, "I'm Bella, I believe we've met," as I reached for his hand.

He took my hand and held onto it while his green eyes wandered down and then back up to meet mine. They flickered with slight recognition and he quietly led me out to the dance floor. I was unsure about dancing, as it had never been my forte, being slightly accident prone growing up.

I told him he was making a mistake trusting me with the safety of his toes, and he chuckled as he spun me around and then held me up against his chest. I was too nervous to speak, so I just tried to follow his lead. Our eyes met several times and I could have sworn that he was enjoying himself, but at the end of the song, he thanked me and left.

I never saw him the rest of the night, and when Jacob took me back to my apartment that night, I couldn't stop thinking about him. I knew it was only a stupid fantasy, but having Edward Cullen holding me against him as we swayed to the music had been one of the best moments of my life.

Spring Break came and went, and when I returned to school, I often found myself hanging out in the student union, typing on my computer or reading in the comfortable couches in one of the lounges.

Two weeks before the end of classes, someone sat down next to me on one of the union couches, as I was engrossed in a book, curled up against the arm beside me. I could feel eyes boring into the side of my head, and when I looked up; my eyes met the penetrating gaze of none other than Edward Cullen.

I put my book aside and was able to squeak out a hello as he stared at me. After a few awkward moments of eye contact, he started talking, and six hours later, we still hadn't stopped.

That weekend, he took me to dinner, and we talked about our families, our career goals, and our dreams. He had been admitted to the medical school at the University of Washington, so he would be spending two more years taking classes in Seattle, and then he would spend two years doing clinical rotations at a local hospital where his father, Carlisle, was the chief of surgery.

He was an only child, and therefore his father's shadow; and he was urged from a very young age to follow his father's career path. He never seemed to mind, but I could tell that medicine was something he held a little bit of contempt for.

His mother Esme was an architect, and they had several family homes dotted across the United States, but they decided to have their primary residence in Seattle. She had been a housewife during Edward's childhood, and she was the epitome of the perfect wife and mother.

After dinner that night, he kissed me for the first time, and I knew that I had to spend the rest of my life with him. There wasn't any other option for me. The way he tasted, and the electric current that surged between us was undeniable.

For the next four years, we were inseparable, and after his graduation from medical school, he proposed and we moved in together that summer.

It has been a long, blissful, happy year since we got married, but now that the newlywed phase is wearing off, my excitement to be a housewife has dwindled down to a quiet acceptance.

When I graduated from the University of Washington with my graduate degree in English Composition last year, I originally planned to start writing the novel I had been toying with since I was in high school, but with the stress of Edward's internship at the hospital, I had to take care of the new house we bought after the wedding.

My resolve to write daily has turned into maybe a half an hour a day at the computer, and the rest of my time is spent cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, and shopping for groceries.

We are still just as passionate about each other as we were five years ago, but there is something about trading sex for picking up my husband's socks that makes me long for a more exciting life. When going to the Albertson's down the road to buy milk, and trips to Target for laundry detergent become the highlights of your day at twenty five, it's kind of a lackluster existence.

The only thing that even keeps me in tune with my former life are my weekly meetings with my best friend Alice. She is still single, and thrilled about it, and she works at the fashion magazine she interned for in college. We thought that she too might follow in the married footsteps of Edward and I, and Emmett and Rosalie, but she broke up with her boyfriend James right before she became the maid of honor at my wedding.

I have a sneaking suspicion that there is a guy in her life, but she keeps him under lock and key, and with her busy schedule, I doubt that it is really something serious.

We meet for coffee, lunch, and sometimes go out to clubs dancing if Edward is on call during the weekend, and she is the only thing that keeps me attached to the fabulous life of a carefree twenty something.

I would never trade the life I have built with Edward for a career, but it would be nice to have something to call my own. I feel like I have just resigned to being his indentured servant, and even though I know he loves me, I still feel like there is something missing.

My sister in-law Rosalie is pregnant with her first child, and I don't really know what I think about when it comes to having kids. I know that I want to have them someday, but the thought of being a mother scares me.

Edward wants to finish his residency before we even think about procreating, and he is always very careful to make sure that we are protected. It's like he's paranoid about creating something that would be that dependent upon us, and therefore our sex is rarely ever spontaneous anymore.

The second the condom box is empty, even though I am on the pill, he won't even touch me, and it makes me feel horrible. I know we aren't ready to have a child, but I love him and I want to keep feeling that intimate connection with him. Call me selfish, but I actually expect my husband to want to have sex with me.

His hours at the hospital have just made things worse in a sense. He is always exhausted, and when he comes home, he just wants to relax and zone out to sports center, or play games on the computer. Whenever he isn't doing one of those things, he is up in his office, head in a text book, completely ignoring me, while I follow him around picking up his dirty laundry.

It's like his socks multiply when I am not looking. When I wake up in the morning, they are everywhere. Under the couch, on the bathroom floor, beside the bed, on the stairs, inside of his work crocs, everywhere, absolutely everywhere, and it drives me insane.

You would think that a twenty seven year old professional could pick up their own laundry and put it into the hamper, which is in the bathroom, right next to the shower, but no, he has to strew them all over the place. It takes me longer to find it all than it does to wash it and put it away.

So to say that my life is perfect, and everything I dreamed about as a child isn't exactly accurate, but I guess in real life, nothing ever is.

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**Don't forget to review, we want to know what you think......;)**

**Also, Alice's character introduction will be up sometime tomorrow, so don't forget to add this story to your alerts!**

**These first two chapters will be introductions to the character, and then the third posting will be the first Bella POV.....:)**


	2. Alice Brandon

**Disclaimer: We do not own Twilight, but we appreciate Stephenie Meyer loaning us her characters. We Really do Appreciate it :)**

**A/N: Hi guys, *waves* told you it would be up soon :). Goldentemptress and I decided that we would get some feedback on the intro's before we started getting into the posting. **

**As Goldentemptress did, I also wish to thank Ashel-13 and HaydenMCullen, and dedicate this chapter to them.**

**Alice Brandon Introduction**

Twenty-five years on this planet and I still hadn't found the 'right man', whatever that means. My best friend, Bella, had found her soul mate in one Edward Cullen. He had been the shining star in our college and it was inevitable from the first time they'd met.

I was still single and loving every minute of it; I had a high-pressure job in the city and really didn't have time for a man in my life. I was working my way up the corporate ladder in the fashion magazine, _Couture_. I had little time and I was known for my broad expertise in the fashion world. I was on fire and I couldn't lose my grasp on the reputation I had built for myself. In the magazine business, I was known for my determination. I am four foot nine and have a tongue like a razor blade when needed, but I rarely had to use it.

I knew that being pleasant but firm was the best way to get what I wanted. The ball busters left a trail of destruction behind them without ever truly knowing it. They burned bridges and cornered themselves, whereas I built connections and could always count on my sources. I was feared and loved all in the same breath.

Bella was the only person who knew the real me, and she never took any of my shit. We'd been friends since high school - we were polar opposites. Bella was the quiet, studious type, always having a book in her hands and wearing clothes off the rack from places like the GAP. Whereas I was in the cheer squad, dated the football captain, who was an asshole, and had a closet full of designer clothes. My mom was a fashion designer and would have it no other way.

Being so completely opposite had almost sealed the deal with our friendship; we evened one another out, ying and yang. Bella lived vicariously through me because she preferred to blend into the wallpaper, I would cling to her world when I was fed up of all the high school melodrama.

We met when she had transferred to Forks High School in our junior year. She had moved to Forks from Phoenix to live with her father. Everyone had known, Forks wasn't the biggest place in the world and someone new was something big. Not to mention the fact that she was the police chief's daughter.

On her first day, she was sitting all alone at lunch, her nose buried in a book. She was so shy and timid, typical Bella, but something in me knew that we would be the greatest of friends. Jessica and Angela had looked at me like I was insane when I popped up from the table we were sitting at.

I made my way over to where she was sitting alone and plopped down next to her, introducing myself as "Alice, your new best friend." I could almost here the rest of the squad shitting bricks, and I couldn't help but laugh. They were all so predictable and pretentious.

From that moment on Bella and I were practically inseparable. She was my confidante, even being the quiet reserved type, she always knew what advice to give me and she was always right. I loved her like the sister I never had; she was my sister.

After high school, we continued on by applying to all of the same colleges. Being athletic and vivacious hadn't changed my grades; Bella and I had the same GPA.

We were lucky enough to get our choice of any school, but we chose the one closest to home. The University of Washington; and there was never any question we would become roommates. Bella and I spent as much time as we could together, but conflicting schedules sometimes made that more difficult than we liked.

My second year was when I got the highly coveted internship at the fashion magazine, _Couture. _It was one of the only fashion magazines based in the Northwest Peninsula, and it was internationally renowned. I knew just how lucky I was to get one of the two spots, and I wasn't going to waste it.

It also came in useful when I realized Bella had a crush on the other most coveted thing at the University of Washington; Edward Cullen. I knew that she was infatuated; it didn't take a lot to notice; but it was Rosalie, Bella's brother Emmett's girlfriend, that was the first to notice, because she introduced them.

Rosalie and I had collectively decided that Bella was going to get a make over whether she liked it or not. The first stop was the salon. The girl's hair was gorgeous, but it just lay against her back in one long unruly line. We had it layered, highlighted and the stylist showed her how to get her natural curl to work for her.

Next was the make up artist; Rosalie and I stood dutifully by her side in case our assistance was ever needed. I knew make up, and I knew colors, but brown eyes were beyond me. The woman we used did amazingly and I secured her a spot at _Couture_; even the editor used her. It was my first foot in the door.

Next was the spa; poor Bella was subjected to pain before we could pamper her; Rosalie insisted she had a wax seeing as bikini season was almost upon us.

The last stop was the _Couture_ treasure-trove; The Closet. Designers loved to send us samples and it was free range for all employees and friends. It was where the extent of my shoe collection came from; everyone knew I had first pick with the shoes and I was never crossed. Bella was the perfect size for this veritable heaven. We spent two hours in what was known as 'the office' and she ended up leaving with more clothes than she actually owned. Needless to say the contents of her closet before was donated to charity.

The transformation was similar to that of caterpillar to butterfly. It sounded so cliché, but Bella had literally come out of her cocoon. With her new look, came renewed confidence. Everything seemed to enhance her beauty and Rosalie plotted to get Edward and Bella together in the same room again.

Bella had made herself a close guy friend, Jacob. He was sweet and doting but it was obvious he was in for heartbreak. Bella had eyes for one man alone. When Jacob pledged at Emmett's fraternity, Bella started attending parties with him, and Jacob became her guardian, warding off the unwanted attention.

Rosalie's first opportunity to play matchmaker came at spring formal. She had told Jacob to bring Bella. I was always amazed at how easily scheming came to Rosalie, but she was good at what she did. Jacob agreed and Rosalie and I made sure we helped Bella put herself together.

With my internship, I found that attending parties and functions became difficult. The hours that I was needed coincided with every major fraternity and sorority event. I made the sacrifice knowing that it would pay off eventually. Still, I was able to make most functions; I was just constantly fashionably late. The magic-closet was always my saving grace.

It turned out Bella hadn't really needed that push. They had barely spoken the night of the spring fling.

It turned out later that Edward had found Bella, and pursued her because he wanted it. It had been only two weeks before the end of class, but after that one moment, they were inseparable.

Poor Jacob looked lost with out his friend. He was six foot seven and athletic, but a huge teddy bear at heart. He was a frat boy through and through, but Bella had meant something to him. She had been the balance to his partying; she kept him level.

This was painfully obvious six weeks into Bella's quiet love affair. Bella and Edward were inseparable; but they were beautiful together. Bella glowed and Edward looked happier than I had ever seen him. I couldn't have been happier for my best friend. I had constantly felt terrible about staying out and working until the early hours of the morning, as it was now, I knew she spent every waking minute with Edward at his apartment.

I didn't mind coming home to the empty apartment, because I knew that Bella was safe and happy. She called me every day apologizing about her absence, but I would ease her conscience and tell her the time I actually made it back to the apartment.

It was two am when Jacob hammered on the front door of the apartment one night. He was drunk out of his mind and confused as all hell. I had no idea Bella had dealt with this. He'd slurred his words and had almost fallen into the apartment. There was no way I was catching him, he was just too large. Luckily, he just stumbled and found his balance against the wall.

I didn't have the heart to ask him to leave so I guided him into my room and pushed him on my bed; there was no way he would fit on the couch. I pulled off his shoes and his jacket and covered him in my blankets. I hated seeing anyone suffer and the boy was going to wake up with a hangover.

I brushed his black hair from his eyes and whispered goodnight, ready to crash on Bella's bed. Jacob's long arms shot out and wrapped around my waist, pulling me onto the bed and holding snug against his chest. He begged me not to go and promised not to try anything, so I relented and snuggled against him, glad of the warm body.

I woke up in Jacob's big arms wrapped tightly against his chest, and it was a nice feeling.

We became close friends after that; he took up his role as guardian again, but with me instead of Bella. We spent time with one another when the two couples in our group craved their own company. He became one of my closest friends; that was until James showed up.

James and I met at Couture. He was an ad executive from New York. He was also a fuck head with whom I wasted two years.

He would fly in occasionally, well, once every three months so he could maintain his account with _Couture_ and bring in the new proofs for his clients. He was an executive, and he swept me off my feet, he was charming and such a smooth talker. Unfortunately, he wasn't as satisfying in the bedroom. Small was an overstatement.

He would fly in; take me to dinner and we would spend hours talking over a bottle of wine. We would stay at my apartment and spend a whole day in bed as we made love. He told me he loved me after six months and I was powerless against him.

Bella and all of my friends liked him. He fit in easily and was never too mature to attend frat parties with me or just spend an evening with my friends. Jacob couldn't stand him, and looking at it with hindsight he'd been right not to.

I had graduated college and managed to get a full time position with _Couture_. They appreciated my dedication and they had told me I was an asset to the company. James would continue to fly in, but the occasions were few and far between. I guess I knew the end was near.

Bella speculated that he was probably nervous because he was going to propose. I had been excited at the idea, but also hugely afraid. If he had, he would want me to move to New York with him. The thought of leaving my entire life behind me scared the living crap out of me.

It turned out that the speculation was completely false. He turned up on one trip with a beautiful red head in tow; her name was Victoria, she was an intern at Vogue, New York. I could have slapped myself when he introduced _her_ as his fiancée.

I stayed away from him as much as I could, but that night, he turned up outside my condo alone; his eyes full of desire as he pushed me up against the wall that ran parallel with the door. He kissed me, but the kiss was broken after a "swift kick" in the nuts. I couldn't believe he had the audacity to come to my home and try continuing our relationship.

He was doubled over in pain and looked horrified at what I had done. He told me he'd been dating her for years and he thought I understood. I told him how he'd failed to mention her, taking away my opportunity to NOT be okay with it, pushed him out the door and slammed it in his face. I knew how much power he held over me and I didn't want him convincing me otherwise.

I went solo to Edward and Bella's wedding, and I was glad the Jacob had done the same. I was maid of honor and he kept me occupied and on track as I played out all my duties. He was still one of my best friends and I couldn't be more thankful to him for being so forgiving.

Bella was a beautiful bride; her pale skin glowed as it exuded her happiness, and Edward had never looked so proud. Rosalie and Emmett had married the previous summer and, of course, James had been there to distract me, so I hadn't paid as much attention as I should have.

I found myself a little jealous of my best friend; she had everything I didn't know I wanted. She'd found her knight in shining armor, her soul mate. He was whom she would give everything for and she was the one he wanted to come home to at the end of every day. It was beautiful.

I threw myself into work and partying a little too hard. I met with Bella weekly, we couldn't go a day without talking to one another and a week was about all we could stand not seeing one another. We were still the best of friends and there was nothing that could change that.

At the end of my second year at _Couture_, I was beginning to crawl my way to the top. I was junior editor in the fashion department; which meant I would style, organize shoots, proof test shots, and decide what made it into the monthly issue. The editors trusted every decision I made.

I worked in downtown Seattle and bought a condo close to the building. I was, to be honest, a workaholic. My whole world revolved around it and I found myself spending more and more time in the office. I knew what I wanted and I took it with both hands.

I had just finished the basic layout to present to the editor when I bumped into Jacob on my way home; he was in the elevator of the magazine's offices. Coincidentally he worked at one of the male magazines in our building. I hadn't seen him since the wedding and we immediately took off like we had seen each other every day since.

He took me out to dinner that night and we got to talking. It seemed he was in the same situation, personally, as I was. He worked the same hours as I did and we soon found ourselves in a routine.

Every night, we would head out and do something together. We craved the human company. The only time we didn't see one another was the nights I spent with Bella.

We'd been laughing one evening about the scarcity of our apartments when I invited him to mine. It was stupid and both of us had indulged a little too much in alcohol. We didn't make it all the way up in the elevator before we crashed into one another.

I had vaulted into his arms, crushing my lips against his. I had been so lonely I craved any kind of affection. Jacob was more than willing to oblige. We kissed all the way to my floor, and I doubt his eyes even touched my condo as he made his way, with my navigation, to my bedroom.

Needless to say we screwed like a pair of horny teenagers. Jacob was amazing; I had never had anyone like him in the bedroom. He was gentle but took control and he knew how to please. I had never had toe-curling pleasure the way he dealt it out.

When I woke in the morning, he was gone. There were no remnants of his even being in the condo, just an indentation in the pillow and a simple short note lying against the alarm clock.

_Thank you Shorty. I will call you at work._

That certainly wasn't the last time Jacob and I indulged in one another. In fact, I was planning on seeing him tonight. There was something about the no strings attached arrangement we had that made the sex better.

Jacob and I were friends with benefits; neither of us expected anything more. It was the perfect arrangement.

I shuddered lightly as I huddled over the light box in my office. I had to keep my head in my work; I was meeting Bella for drinks tonight and I really didn't want her to know about Jacob and I.

Screwing a mutual friend wasn't really great etiquette, so I had kept my mouth closed. As far as Bella knew, it was a guy from the office and the sex was amazing. I hated not telling her, but Jake and I were only friends and there was really no need to complicate things.

**A/N: So there you have it, Alice's introduction, I hope you enjoyed it :) I know things are slightly OOC . . . but keep reading LOL you will see how things shape up, I have a few surprises up my sleeve.**

**I would also like to thank Goldentemptress for being an awesome co-writer. You are awesome chick . . . **

**I hope you guys enjoyed, we should be posting more here pretty soon. Eager to know what you think . . .**

**MUCH LOVE & BIG HUGZ - L -**


	3. God Damned Laundry Day!

**Disclaimer: Yeah, so Stephenie Meyer may own Twilight, but I own the Tide Free that Bella will be purchasing in this chapter…..;)**

**A/N: Ok guys, you are seriously awesome, we already have over 30 people on alerts! And we haven't even posted a real chapter yet!**

**Just incase you forgot, me, goldentemptress, will be taking on the Bella POV, and Nostalgicmiss will be gracing you with the spunky little feisty sprite that is Alice, but her chapter will be posted tomorrow…..;)**

**We hope that you enjoy the first installment of Socks For Sex, and don't forget to review…..the more reviews, the more tempted I am to write hot angry Bella lemons…..trust me, you will get it once you read this chapter….;)**

**Just to warn you all, some of the characters, well.....I won't lie, almost all of these characters are a little OOC, not so much as to change them completely, but there is alot of sarcasm and wit added, and a little bit of perversion interspersed.......we both hope that you all love it, because the story is full of fun and a smidgen of angst later on, but mostly fun and yeah, lots of sarcasm....**

**So I am not making any sense anymore, so yeah, here's the first chapter, enjoy!  
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God Damned Laundry Day!**

**BPOV**

I am not looking forward to today, because it's Thursday, Laundry Day, and I know I will spend my entire day roaming the house and then starting loads, stopping loads, switching loads, and to top things off, the buzzer on the dryer stopped working, so I constantly have to check it so _his_ scrubs don't get wrinkled.

He actually pouts if they are not perfectly crisp and hung up on a hanger waiting for him in the morning. Like five minutes with an iron is going to kill him, it's childish. I hate fighting with my husband about things as trivial as laundry, but it just sets my blood boiling. It's not like the damned things are going to stay clean in the operating room of a hospital anyways.

Pulling myself out of my reverie, I reluctantly pulled myself out of the large platform bed, and glanced around the room. There was light coming in the slits at the sides of the turquoise curtains that glinted off of the smooth polished surfaces of the dark mahogany colored wood of the bedroom furniture. The pictures on the walls were perfectly aligned and not a speck of dust was present. Normally, that would make a housewife feel satisfied and proud, but I obviously hadn't looked at the floor yet......

_Yup, socks on the floor again…..How damn hard is it to pick up a freaking sock!!!!_

Edward had a way of pushing my buttons, and I could tell that today was not going to be any different. My god of a husband knew exactly how to push my buttons, and laundry day brought it all out in me; the anger, the resentment, the feelings of being disrespected. I knew he loved me, but it's crazy how something as small and insignificant as a sock can make you feel unwanted, desperate and lonely.

Waking up in a bed alone, dirty laundry scattered all over our bedroom was not exactly what I had pictured on our wedding day. Even when we lived together, he was always neat and tidy, but as soon as he got the damn ring on my finger, he changed into a different person. The kind of person who could unconsciously undo everything I did each day to try to make our home a comfortable and warm place to live. The kind of person who couldn't respect the sanctity of a laundry basket, or the fact that maybe, just once, his wife would like to wake up in the morning and not feel like a maid, or worse, his mother.

Stretching my arms above my head and slipping on my favorite purple ugg slippers, I wandered over to the oversized walk-in closet and pulled my bathrobe off the hook on the back of the door.

Laundry day always started the same, put on my slippers, put on my bathrobe over my pajama shorts and tank top, and then wander around the house for the next hour attempting to find all of the dirty laundry that had bred over the week.

My dirty laundry was already in the damn hamper, where it was supposed to go, but scrubs and socks and undershirts were strewn in every corner of our four bedroom house, and I had to play scavenger hunt to find them. How one sock could be under the couch in the living room, and the other was in the dog's crate in the closet was beyond me, but it always seemed to happen that way. It migrated and bred, and took over my life until I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and then throw it all out into the front yard, and then run over it with the lawnmower.

Bailey, our blue heeler, followed me down the hallway as I made my trek around the house, obviously wanting attention before she returned to the bed before her morning nap….then she would come out for food, then go back to the bed for her afternoon nap.

You would think a two year old dog would actually want to do something like, um I don't know, go play in the backyard, but nope, holing up in the bed, shedding on everything in sight was obviously much more fun. Cause I obviously wanted to have a close bond with my lint roller, and the animal hair removing attachment on my vacuum cleaner.

Edward had brought Bailey home with him the day after we moved in to our first apartment, and I instantly fell in love with her. I was kept entertained during my last year of grad school with puppy training, and she loved me unconditionally, at least that's what I thought at the time.

At first, I had been skeptical about raising a dog, but she is my only companion while I am stuck in this house everyday, so I have learned to love the little thing. No matter how much she annoys me, and ignores me….seems to be a theme in this household.

A year ago, I had never been this bitter, but being stuck here, day after day, with barely any friends, and no paycheck to feel like I was contributing to our marriage, was starting to wear down my attitude. My normal sarcasm has grown a bite, and it loves to lash out at any offending parties, even unprovoked.

When we first moved into the house that Esme designed and had built for us, I had been so hopeful and excited. I spent the first few months decorating and getting unpacked, completely ignoring my writing.

Edward would come home everyday and we would talk while I made dinner, and then after dinner we would lock ourselves in our room, and make love until we both couldn't keep our eyes open. It had been what I dreamed a marriage would be like. We were both so caught up in each other that maintaining a household while he was at work was effortless, easy, something to do while I waited for him to return to me.

As his internship progressed, he spent more time at the hospital, and when he came home, he was cranky and exhausted. He stopped touching me when we went to bed, and in turn started complaining when I wasn't in the mood the one night every few weeks that he was. Nothing worked, not lingerie, not costumes, nothing. I was lucky if I even got tongue with my goodnight kiss. He was tired and going through the motions, and I was frustrated beyond all measure, and lonely beyond compare. He got to go out into the world and talk to people, I got to sit on the couch in yoga pants pretending to work and have conversations with my dog.

Then, the neat clean boyfriend I had once appreciated, started leaving dirty laundry and dishes all over the house, and encouraged the dog to strew her toys all over every single inch of floor space in the living room. Everyday it just felt like all I did was pick up after him, just to have him strew it all back out when he got home. No matter what I did, it reappeared, no matter how hard I tried to keep him happy, something just wasn't there.

I didn't feel like a loved wife anymore, I felt like I had two children, a twenty seven year old doctor and a two year old dog, and being a twenty five year old mom wasn't exactly high on my list of priorities. While all of my friends, the ones who still dared to talk to me, were all out living the single life, having careers, loving every minute of it, and I felt like a glorified babysitter/indentured servant. I had never had money growing up, so I felt like I was obligated to do it, because he was paying the bills, he was buying me nice things, he was making sure we could build a comfortable life together, while I was sitting around feeling sorry for myself.

_Ah, Bailey gross!!_

My thoughts were once again interrupted by my dog incessantly licking her ass on my side of the bed as I had finally rounded up the rest of the laundry, and thrown it in a large pile at the foot of the bed.

"Go home idiot dog, my bed is not the place for anal exploration…" I groaned, pushing her off the bed and pointing to the closet where we kept her crate. She shot me a disdainful look, pulled her tail between her legs and skulked into the closet.

I swear, its like she hates me, she ignores me all day, and then when Edward comes home she freaks out and runs around like a maniac. Just makes me feel all special inside….my own dog, who spends all day everyday with me, loves my absentee husband more than me. _Figures._

Once I had the laundry sorted out and was carrying the first load back down to the laundry room, I plopped it down and started to measure out the softener, color safe bleach, and _GOD DAMN IT!!! _There isn't any laundry detergent left. Guess I will have to make a trip Target, my home away from home. The place I spent hours wandering around in, pretending I wasn't a pathetic excuse to my generation. I mean, aren't all twenty five year old housewives wandering around Target at ten am pretending that buying cleaning products is the best thing in the world? _I know I am!_

Trudging back upstairs, I took off my pajamas and pulled on a pair of yoga pants and a sweatshirt, trading my ugg slippers for my black ugg boots. I rarely ever ran into anyone I knew at the grocery store, because I didn't really know anyone, so I decided to just pull my hair up into a pony tail, put on my glasses, because my contacts have been annoying me, and headed to the garage.

Edward had purchased me a silver Volvo coupe for my birthday last year, saying that my old beat up truck from high school didn't belong in the garage of a brand new house, but I still missed the old beast. She had character, and even though she was a steel deathtrap on wheels, she was still mine.

Once I got to Target, the parking lot was practically deserted, but I still hated going to the store looking like this, but today was laundry day, so I was supposed to look like crap. I could just suck it up and put on a happy face and hope I didn't trip or embarrass myself in front of anyone I knew.

Wandering down the aisles of the grocery portion of the Super Target, I finally got to the aisle with the laundry detergent. The familiar scent of all of my favorite laundry products assaulted my senses, and I took a moment to bask in the clean scent of Tide. I grabbed the largest bottle of Tide Free, because of my stupid sensitive skin, and pulled it up quickly and turned to head towards the checkout. There was no point in denying it, I was easily amused by the little things in life, but come on, basking in the scent of Tide, give me a break, how freaking nuts was I becoming. I was three steps away from having that chip implanted into my brain and coming out a full fledged Stepford, although it would be kinda cool to spit money out like an ATM.

I wasn't really in the mood to grocery shop, and I usually met Alice on Thursday nights or went out to dinner with Edward, so I didn't really need to yet. Grocery shopping depressed me, it was a never ending cycle, and you always managed to forget something, making another trip to the store inevitable, and then you would end up with another cart full of crap that would sit in your pantry for a year, collecting dust, and warranting the attention of the small rodents who liked to prowl the dark corners of your house.

When I turned the corner, the bottle made contact with something big and I toppled with it to the floor with a thud. Luckily, the bottle didn't leak, because I wasn't in the mood to find some high school work release stock boy to clean up after my clumsiness.

I was getting ready to pull myself up, when a large hand gripped my shoulder and helped me to my feet. I had come to depend on the kindness of strangers in my moments of weakness, when Edward wasn't around to catch me, so this was nothing new. What I failed to account for was the few times that I wasn't picked up off the floor by a stranger, and blood rushed to my cheeks as I looked up towards the man who the hand belonged to.

Standing in front of me was my old UW college friend, Jacob Black, grinning from ear to ear with his overly infectious smile. His short dark black hair perfectly arranged, his white teeth a stark contrast to his russet colored skin, looking handsome and rugged in a tailored suit, with much more style than that of the slightly bumbling twenty year old who had once tried to capture my heart.

I blushed profusely, turning into something resembling a ripe tomato, I'm sure, and bent down to get the bottle, but he was already holding it up to me.

"Uh, thanks," I muttered, becoming more embarrassed as he took in my less than perfect appearance. I always seemed to run into people on days I had spent the least amount of effort preparing to leave the house, and on the days I actually gave a shit, no one, not one person who knew who I was came into my line of sight.

"Hey Bells, still as clumsy as ever….huh?" he said, cocking up an eyebrow as he chuckled to himself.

"Bite me Jake," I said, feigning sarcasm. We had always had a playful relationship, and before Edward, he had been one of my best friends.

"You wish," he retorted as I stuck my tongue out at him. If he was going to be an ass, I could be childish. It was only fair.

"So, how's doctor boy? Still got some hot sex life going Bells?" he said with a wink, taking the bottle out of my hands and heading to get a cart from the front of the grocery section. If he only knew how nonexistent my sex life really was.

I followed after him saying, "Jake, I really just came to get the detergent, I don't need a cart."

He placed the bottle into the basket and pushed it towards me. His cocky grin was still in place, and he knew that I would cave, I always enjoyed spending time with him.

"Who says it's for you, a guy's gotta eat too. Not everybody has a wife at home to cook for them."

"Fine, I just don't have a lot of time. I need to get the laundry finished at home."

I followed him up and down the aisles as he picked out typical bachelor food, pop tarts, easy mac, frozen meals, a gallon of milk. Jacob was the type that could eat anything he wanted and still maintain his bulky, muscled physique. If it would have been in my power, and I hadn't been madly in love with Edward, he would have been the exact type of guy I wanted to spend my time with.

We talked about his job as we wandered around, he was a print editor of a men's magazine called _Status_, that was in the same building as Alice's. I knew they occasionally ran into each other, but they were both so busy I doubted they spent much time together. He talked about how he was having trouble having a life outside of work, and I actually felt sorry for him, knowing that he was probably lonely.

Jake and I ran into each other or sent the sporadic email once every six months or so, but we had always been able to stay friends with our minimal communication.

"Sooo," he said as he dropped a box of Captain Crunch, into the cart. "You still see Alice Brandon a lot these days?"

"Yeah, fairly often, usually once a week, why? You want me to put in a good word for you or something? I gotta warn you, she has this guy on the side she's been hooking up with the past few months."

"Wow, little Alice, hooking up, wow. I was just asking because I see her in the building every once in a while. We use to be friends too ya know, once Edward became your permanent hip accessory."

"Yeah, apparently he is some publishing big shot who is the best sex she has ever had or something, she won't really go into details. I'm just jealous she is getting sex as often as she is."

"Best sex she's ever had huh? Interesting…." he said, running his fingers along his chin with an amused look on his face.

"Jake, are you done now? I really don't have time to stand around and talk about Alice's sex life with you," I said, tapping my foot, getting annoyed with his choice of topic. Not that anyone in our group usually minded gossip about each others bedroom habits, this topic was getting a little creepy. He looked a little too curious.

"Oh, yeah Bells, it was good to see you, go be a good little wifey, I'll leave you alone."

I gave him an awkward hug, pulled out my jug of detergent and headed to the check out lane. He returned to his shopping, making a beeline for the aisle with the potato chips with a shit eating grin on his face. I was envious, because it took several hours on an elliptical machine to keep myself in shape, and he could shovel in the contents of my pantry and not gain an ounce.

Once I had checked out and was on my way home, my mind wandered to my novel. I really needed to get some work done, I hadn't finished a chapter in weeks. I couldn't bear to leave my heroine, Paige, hanging; especially since her new love, Jonathan, was waiting for her to return his kiss.

My most recent novel idea had come to me in a dream after I started reading these young adult books about this girl trapped in this supernatural love triangle. I had been so moved by the books I wanted to write my own epic love story.

It is about a widow who was finding love again, but I had been distracted, and bitter, so she just ended up bitchy whenever I added something, because I was so disgruntled with my own marriage. Getting into character was usually not a problem for me, but somehow, I just couldn't get into her head anymore. The broken and depressed beginning I could relate to, but when it came to rediscovering love in an unexpected place, I couldn't force myself to write it.

I had stopped after the fifth chapter and gotten addicted to reading fan fiction about the story that had inspired me. Edward still thought that I was making progress, but Paige had been wrapped in Jonathan's arms waiting to return the kiss for two months now.

The garage was empty when I got home, so I went in and started the laundry, went upstairs and took a shower. Edward would be home soon, he had been on call all night at the hospital and he had left after I fell asleep last night.

I hated that I couldn't sleep in the same bed with him all the time, but his career was important. I hated that he wouldn't let me find a job, but his trust fund covered all of our expenses until he would start getting a steady paycheck, so we didn't really need the money. He was of a firm belief that a husband should provide everything for his family, and I felt like I would forever fail to be his June Cleaver. I didn't have it in me to fake being the perfect model of a housewife, and knowing that he grew up with that made it that much harder. My own mother had been a total flake my entire childhood, I never really felt like I had any kind of training for this life. Sure I took care of Charlie for a few years, but we never really talked about much, and my father was perfectly content to sit around and watch ESPN and let me do whatever I wanted.

When I came back downstairs, I read over what I had typed last in the book, editing grammar, and taking out inane comments and thoughts, and before I knew it, I had actually finished the kiss scene between these two characters, just as I heard the garage door come up.

I pulled myself up off the couch, tucking my laptop into the basket beside the couch, and went to sit at the kitchen counter to wait for him to come in from the garage. Edward always liked to see me when he came home, and I was more than happy to wait for him. I just hoped that _Assward_ wouldn't make an appearance today, because I really wasn't in the mood for a sullen, pouty husband.

When he pulled open the door and saw me sitting there, waiting for him, his tired face grew into the crooked smile I loved so much and he walked over and put a kiss on my cheek. The same spark I always felt was still there, and I knew that even though I was not completely satisfied with my life, I would never want to be with anyone else. I would rather fight with my husband and throw things at his overly cocky handsome ass than spend time with anyone else.

"Hey love, how was your day?" he asked, trying to be pleasant for once. He was usually cranky after being on call.

"Good, ran into Jacob at Target, he was being a weirdo as usual. I am almost done with the laundry again…."

"Oh, that's good," he said cutting me off, as he opened the door to the fridge and peeked his head in, draping his arm over the door.

"Hey Bells, did you pick up any beer at the store?"

"There's some in the garage fridge, it is called the 'beer fridge' for a reason hun."

He smirked at me and went back into the garage, when he came back into the kitchen, he opened the pantry door and started moving things around.

"Hey, did you get me any of those pretzel things I like, you know, the mustard flavored ones?" he asked, peeking his head out of the closet.

"You ate them all already? I just got the bag on Tuesday, god Edward."

He closed the door and pouted at me while he popped the cap on his bottle of beer, walking towards me. He always knew that pouting and acting all innocent was the way to get me to bend to his will, but I was falling for none of his dazzling this afternoon.

"Don't even, I'm not your damn slave, there is plenty of food in there, be a big boy and get your own snack without pouting."

"Geesh Bella, chill out."

"Don't tell me to 'chill out'," I said using air quotes. "It's like I am your god damned maid. I spent half the day picking up your damn socks again. How exactly does a single sock end up in Bailey's crate?"

"I dunno," he mumbled, walking up behind me and putting his arms around my waist, beer still in hand, his chin resting on my shoulder. "Where is my pup anyways?"

"She's in the back yard, being a dog for once, but don't you try to get me to calm down by being all cuddly Edward, it's seriously annoying."

"But Bella love," he cooed in my ear, sending a round of shivers down my spine. His scent was enveloping me and I knew that if I sat here and let him, he would melt all of my defenses.

I broke from his grasp and turned around to face him, he was just making me angry now. His signature crooked smile was plastered in place, and he knew he had me right where he wanted me, but I wasn't going to fall for it yet again, not this time.

"No, I'm not kidding, if I find another freaking sock not in the god damn hamper I am going to cram it in your mouth while you are asleep, this shit is getting really old!" I screamed as he stared at me in shock. I usually didn't threaten him while I yelled at him, but he was really getting to me today.

He tensed up and put his beer on the counter, his smile turning to a scowl. His green eye darkened, and showed a mix of anger and excitement, he was always prepared for a good fight, both of us were stubborn, and neither of us knew when to back down; it was part of our charm.

"Bella, I don't see what the big deal is, it's a freaking sock….," he said, raising his voice. "And it's not like you have anything better to do, you don't have to go to work like_ some_ people."

How dare he use the not having a job card on me, he knew that would send me into a blind rage. It was never my idea to stay home, it was his, and I hated that I let myself bend to his will so often.

"If I'm not mistaken, Mr. Cullen. _You,_ are the one who refused to let me get a job. I have been going crazy cooped up in this house and you can't even put your laundry in a hamper. You are twenty-seven freaking years old. Grow up!"

"Bella, that's not what I meant, I just, I thought you liked being at home. I know I like having you to come home to everyday. I mean, my mom was a housewife until I went to high school and she only worked free lance, and she was fine with it."

The verbal diarrhea was spewing, and I knew that he was just digging himself a shallow grave.

"Don't you dare compare me to your mother," I spat. "_She_ is the reason you are spoiled rotten, and I refuse to be your freaking maid servant."

I clenched my fists at my sides and started to walk towards the stairs, I knew that if we continued down this path I would just loose my temper even more and say something I would regret later. When I was this worked up, my filter disappeared and I couldn't be held responsible for the things I would inevitably scream.

As I reached the bottom step, Edward pulled on my arm and crushed my back against his chest forcefully. His breathing was ragged, and his heart was beating wildly in his chest, he was either extremely angry, or extremely horny, and I didn't know which one I would have preferred.

"Stop," I said firmly, wanting to get away from him.

"No," he whispered into my ear, his voice all husky and deep. Which usually meant he was turned on, I couldn't believe that fighting about laundry turned him on, _seriously_.

Me in lingerie, he rolls over and goes to sleep, me yelling at him, and he practically creams his pants.

He began to blow his hot breath against my neck as his other hand came around to the front of my shirt, slowly pulling the fabric up so his hand could rest against the bare skin of my stomach. My heart beat increased tenfold, and the heat coming from his body was transferring into my own.

"Edward, stop," I tried to say firmly, but it ended up coming out more sultry than I had intended.

His grip tightened again and he whispered into my ear.

"Bella, please don't be mad at me, I'm sorry, I will try to be better about putting it in the hamper," his voice smooth and seductive as he continued to assault my neck with his hot breath. The velvety tones in his voice always seemed to render my body into a swooning mess, and I hated that he knew exactly how to render me practically speechless.

"That's what you always say," I whined, suddenly breathless.

"Ok Bella, how about we go upstairs and you help me put my scrubs in the hamper," it came out sounding more like an order than a request. His voice was several octaves lower and laced with desire.

I sighed and began to walk up the stairs, and he grabbed my ass once it was eye level with him. He was coming up the stairs right behind me, and when I turned slightly I could see his scrubs tented at the erection that he was obviously sporting.

When I got into our bedroom, I turned around and crossed my arms over my chest, trying to look irritated when he walked in. He always knew exactly how to break down my barriers, and it was aggravating that he could still make me react like this.

His eyes were filled with lust, and he slowly stalked towards me, pulling his scrub top and undershirt over his head before his hands gripped my waist.

Edward's tri-weekly trips to the gym or the pool continued to keep his lean body in perfect form, and as I gawked at the 'v' shape that formed along his hip bones, leading down underneath the waist of his loosely fitted drawstring pants, I couldn't help but admire his god like body.

I tried to fight him, because I was angry, but he pulled me up against him and started kissing my neck while he unbuttoned my pants and pulled down my zipper. His teeth were grazing lightly against my pulse point and I lost all resolve to be angry with him and sighed as his tongue darted out to taste my skin. My face was flushed and I could feel the electricity bouncing between us as he continued to press himself into me.

Then he pulled my arms from my chest and placed them on his bare shoulders as he pulled my shirt up, exposing my bare chest because I hadn't bothered to put on a bra after my shower. He gasped and I could hear his breathing hitch as he reached up with his fingertips and traced them along the curves of my breasts. His awed reaction to my body still amazed me after all these years, but I was glad that we could still have the same reactions on each other.

I groaned and leaned forward as he was pulling a nipple into his mouth while he fumbled around, only breaking his grasp on me to finally pull my shirt over my head and throw it to the floor with his shirt.

_Hamper my ass…._

Once my shirt was discarded, he slowly pushed down my pants, and the panties with them, pulling up each leg to free me from them. He kissed along my legs and thighs on his way back up, and I was glad that I had taken the effort to shave earlier on in the day. By the time he worked his way back up to my chest, my legs were trembling and my chest was flushed with anticipation. He was teasing me, and I was loving every minute of it.

He pushed me backwards and sat me on the edge of the bed as he stepped back and kicked off his crocs, pulled off his socks, and pushed down his pants and boxers, freeing his now extremely aroused member. The look on his face was of pure concentration and anticipation, he was looking forward to this release as much as I was.

He smiled at me and raised an eyebrow, obviously enjoying the sight of his naked wife sitting on the edge of the bed. His crooked grin cemented into its usual place as he hungrily took in the sight of me under hooded eyelids. The green in his eyes had darkened significantly and I felt like he was looking at something he wanted to eat, well.......maybe he did......

I frowned at him and narrowed my eyes, still upset, but not wanting to stop him because we hadn't had sex in nearly a week, and I had to admit, naked Edward was making me a little horny.

Quickly taking the few steps that separated us, he pushed my legs apart with his knee and stepped in between them, running his hands down my sides, and jerking me forward by my hips towards him while he leaned down to kiss me. At his touch I felt like my body had been electrocuted and the familiar feeling of tension built in my abdomen as he pressed himself against me, his lips hungrily devouring mine in a hot, wet open mouthed kiss.

After all these years, a simple kiss sent my head spinning and I began to run my hands up his arms until they were tangled in the hair on the back of his neck.

I could feel his erection pressing into my thigh as he continued to deepen the kiss, his tongue pushing into my mouth. The sensation of our tongues meeting fueled the fire building within me and I ached for him to touch me. He reached between us and I could feel a long slender finger lightly press against my folds, slowly spreading the moisture that had been pooling there.

My hips jerked towards him and I removed his hand, taking hold of his erection and guiding it towards me, urging him to push inside of me, I was aching for it. The building up was killing me, and I definitely didn't need any foreplay to get me going, I was already so wet the second he whispered into my ear at the base of the steps.

He jerked his hips back, but then I could feel him poised at my entrance and I pushed myself forward, wanting him inside of me. I could tell that he was feeling the same thing as he kissed down the side of my neck, one of his hands roughly gripping my hip while the other was gripping the inside of my thigh.

Gasping for air, he pulled back and leaned down, opening the drawer on the side of the nightstand. He fumbled around for a minute and then said

"Shit."

"What?" I said, my breathing uneven.

"They're all gone."

"Shit."

"We can still do other things baby, you know I like it when you use your mouth," he said, winking at me. I couldn't tell if he was joking or not, but the look in his green eyes made me fairly certain that he was not.

"God damn Edward, you know how to make a girl feel sexy," I said, shaking my head, I cannot believe he just teased me like that and asked for a damn blow job.

"What?"

"I'm on the pill you idiot, it's not like one time without a condom is going to be a problem."

"Bella," he said, placing his hands on my knees, jutting his lips out to pout at me again. _Stupid husband_, he knows I hate it when he pouts.

"Edward," I said, pulling him towards me by his hips, leaning up to whisper in his ear.

"If you do not _fuck_ me right now, I will go to the bathroom and do it myself."

He groaned loudly in my ear, and pulled my hips forward. I knew his weaknesses as well. There was something about the 'f' word that brought out the animal in him, and threatening to take care of my itch myself just sealed the deal.

Within seconds, he buried himself inside me and set a steady pace of thrusting. I leaned back against the bed, and he continued to push into me, gripping my hips as he slammed into me.

"God Bella, you're so tight," he grunted. The only time I ever really heard my mild mannered husband curse or say anything relatively inappropriate was in the bedroom, when he was jealous or when he was really really angry, and it was kind of a turn on.

Rough Edward could always push me to the brink instantly, and after a few more thrusts, I wrapped my legs around him and my orgasm took over my body. My back was arched off the bed as I moaned loudly and clenched onto him as he continued to thrust forcefully inside of me.

"Oh Fuck Edward, harder, I want you to come, come _now _Edward," I practically screamed, the endorphins coursing through my veins.

Feeling me tighten around him, my words echoing through the air, his hips moved more frantically, pulling me against him roughly until I could feel him harden and pulse erratically.

He leaned down panting, "Bella, I'm going to come, let go."

I gripped him tighter with my legs and leaned up, tightening my hold on him and he closed his eyes, and lost the fight against me.

Every muscle in his body tensed as he released into me, his face contorted in a mixture of tension and extreme bliss, and then he slumped over, hands on either side of my head, leaning against the bed, still inside of me.

I reached forward and ran my hands through his sweaty hair, and whispered, "I love you."

He leaned back, pulling on my legs until he could free himself and stepped back, sliding out of me. I groaned at the sensation and he chuckled at my reluctance to let him go.

"Bella, I love you too," he said in his raspy post coital voice, kissing me lightly on the side of my neck.

I sat up on the edge of the bed watching him as he grabbed his boxers out of his pants and pulled them on.

"Come here," I said sweetly, holding my arms open. Nothing could feel better than cuddling up against him after we shared our bodies with each other.

He shook his head and walked back over to me placing a chaste kiss on my lips, and then he turned back around to head to the closet.

"Edward, please?" I said, pouting. "That's all I get?"

"Bella, stop, I have to go study tonight. I don't have time to cuddle."

I groaned and threw myself back against the bed whining, "Can't you just stay in tonight and we can order take out and eat it in bed?"

He reemerged from the closet, dressed in a button down blue shirt and faded jeans, his normal crocs replaced by leather doc martens. It really didn't matter what he wore, naked, clothed, anything, in absolutely anything he looked like perfection.

"Bella, I am supposed to meet Tanya at the library in an hour, and aren't you going out with Alice anyways?"

"Tanya?" I whined, she was always such a bitch. She hated me, and I secretly think that she has a thing for my husband. She was a fellow intern at his hospital, and she was never very subtle about her desire to conquer the one man who had always refused her advances. Married or not never mattered to her, she had screwed practically ever doctor in the hospital, and the fact that neither of the Cullen men would fall for her blond haired, big fake boobed seduction techniques was no secret. The woman was a predator, and she refused to give up.

"Bella, how many times do we have to go over this? We have our intern exam in a few weeks, and it's easier to split the reading up with multiple people. She is just a colleague, stop being jealous."

"I'm not jealous," I said raising my voice.

"Yeah, right, that's what this is," he said, placing his hands on my knees, kissing me on my bare stomach.

I sat up, propping myself up on my elbows and narrowed my eyes at him. I could tell when a woman wanted to steal my husband, and Tanya was husband stealer extraordinaire.

"I have to go, stop being so difficult," he said, turning towards the door.

"Fine, be an ass. Don't say I didn't tell you so when the tramp tries something, _again_."

He turned around and glared at me. "Bella, that's not funny."

"Whatever," I said slumping back against the bed. I hated having to share my hot husband with that skank, especially when I knew her intentions were anything but professional.

"Bella, stop being childish, I have to go. At least come say goodbye to me."

"Ergh," I groaned, and stood up to give him a hug. When he released me, I looked down to the floor, which was covered with laundry, yet again.

"At least pick your damn clothes up before you go," I spat, irritated all over again.

"God damn Bella, get over it already, it's just some damn laundry, it's not the end of the world."

I glared at him and pushed him through the door frame, slamming it behind him.

His steps echoed through the hallway and in the stairwell as he angrily made his way downstairs to leave. I hated fighting with him, but he was too dense to realize that her actions were calculated, and this whole laundry thing was still infuriating. Its like he had no respect for me, and it was enraging. Would he want me to go to the hospital and throw surgical instruments all over his operating room and just leave, no, I didn't think so. _AGGGGHHHH!_

When I heard the door in the kitchen to the garage slam, I huffed and leaned down to pick up the pile of discarded clothing on the floor and threw them into the hamper before I turned on the shower.

_See, how hard is that?_

Once I had taken my shower, my cell phone was ringing, and I went out into the room to pick it up. _Alice Cell._

_Thank god!_

"Hey Ali," I said trying to fake sounding cheerful.

"Bella, we still on for drinks tonight?" she chimed, Alice was always happy.

"God I hope so," I huffed. It was going to be one of those nights, I could just tell. Normally I wasn't much of a drinker, but after all of my pent up rage and frustration, I needed to just sit back and relax, and alcohol would be the perfect distraction. Alice always knew how to talk to me, and even though she had escaped marriage, she knew Edward just about as well as I did, so she could tell me what I needed to do to get over all of these feelings of resentment.

Alice giggled on the other end of the phone. She always seemed to think my interactions with Edward were entertaining. Somehow she could not wrap her mind around the things that went on between married people, she still idealized the institution, and although she claimed she didn't want that, I could tell she always had, she just hadn't met her prince charming yet, hopefully she wouldn't have to wait too long, I hated knowing that she was lonely sometimes. I may not have been getting along with my husband lately, but the love was still there, and I knew that no matter what happened, he was still my partner, my arrogant, inconsiderate, childish partner, but partner nonetheless.

"Stupid husbands, such a pain in the ass," I groaned, which made her laugh even harder.

"Ok Bells, meet you at the usual, nine-thirty okay?"

"Perfect," I said, donning my fake happy voice again.

"See ya then chick!" she squealed and hung up.

I finished getting dressed and went back downstairs to let Bailey back inside.

Since I obviously had the time alone until I needed to get ready to meet Alice in a few hours, I should at least give Paige something to be happy about…..I sat down on the couch, with Bailey curled up at my feet, and started typing. Hopefully I could give my heroine the happy ending she deserved.


	4. Work, Wine & Desert

_**Disclaimer-A/N: All Things Twilight belong to the Awesome Stephenie Meyer. Bella and Edward's relationship is run by goldentempress and I simply like playing with Jacob . . .**_

_**Impromptu Wine bar belongs to Seattle ;) **_

**Oh, and just for those of you who were confused, this is not in any way, shape or form a slash fic….it is a E/B & A/J-A/J fic, and there will be no infidelity on Edward's part, it's OOC, but not that much. That being said, enjoy……**

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Work, Wine & Dessert**

**APOV**

I looked at the clock and realized what time it was. Thinking about Bella gave me the urge to call and confirm our plans. It was girl's night. I didn't have that long to sit around and waste time thinking about things I shouldn't really be thinking about to begin with. I was so glad no one could hear my thoughts; that would just be awkward.

I picked up the phone and dialed Bella's number. I sang along quietly to the mesmerizing voice of Caleb Followill singing _Use Somebody_, as I waited for Bella to pick up.

"Hey Ali," I could hear the false notes of cheerful tones in Bella's voice as she answered. I knew that sound, she was having a fight with Edward. I wasn't going to ask right now because I knew it would be uncomfortable for her if Edward were there, I would just wait and push for information tonight.

"Bella, we still on for drinks tonight?" I sang merrily, trying to keep my voice upbeat.

"God I hope so,"

I giggled on the other end of the phone. This was going to be a tipsy Bella evening I could just feel it. This meant I would be supplying the abundant amounts of alcohol as Bella talked. I wouldn't have to push after all.

"Stupid husbands, such a pain in the ass," she groaned, which only made me laugh even harder. I was guessing he wasn't home. Bella never really grumbled too much while he was there.

"Ok Bells, meet you at the usual, nine-thirty okay?" I asked dropping the subject for now.

"Perfect," she answered, donning the "everything's fine" tone in her voice again.

"See ya then chick!" I sang keeping the merry pretense in my voice. All the while, my mind was calculating just how bad her day had been. It didn't matter, even if I did have a meeting with Jacob tonight, Bella was my priority.

I hung up the phone and dialed Jacob's number, I had to make the invitation open ended with him for tonight because I didn't want to put a time limit on my night out with Bella. It had been a week since I'd last seen her. I knew we'd have plenty to talk about, we always did.

"Hey Shorty." Jacob's husky voice said down the line with a chuckle. I rolled my eyes at the nickname; he was the six foot seven monster that towered over every normal human; I fit in perfectly.

"Hey Jake, listen, Bella and I are going for drinks tonight, you know how that goes." I giggled gently. "Can I call you when I leave?"

Jacob barked out a laugh before composing himself. He did know, we'd always been like this, even in college. "Sure, Sure."

"What's the matter with you?" I asked frowning into the phone. It hadn't been that funny. To be honest, I'd never heard Jacob acting so . . . well, downright giddy.

"I'll talk to you later, just go have fun." He mused, chuckling.

"K, bye," I hung up the phone and stared at it like it had sprung arms and legs and tried to struggle from my grasp. Jacob was a naturally happy guy, but that was just ridiculous.

I packed up everything before I shut down my office for the night, and headed out; I needed to take a shower before I met Bella tonight. I had been at _Couture_ since six this morning.

I made my way home quickly, pulling my canary yellow Porsche into the spot reserved for my apartment. I stood at the elevator and pushed on it with persistence as I waited. Yes, I was one of _those_ people. The building was quiet, but that was nothing new, most of the people who lived outside of the city but worked in the city, owned condos here, and Thursday night, most of them left for early weekends.

_Must be nice_, I sighed.

I stepped onto my floor and sighed as I pushed my door open after unlocking it. I hated my empty condo at times; it was so devoid of anything warm. I hardly spent time there, it looked like a show home; all of the furniture had clean lines and the décor was contemporary.

It wasn't a home; it was a place to lay my head. My room was the only thing in the entire square footage that reflected me, because I spent most of my time in there.

I had pictures on every surface and the art I wanted on my walls, the colors were warm and the furniture was homely. I lived alone, without so much as a cat. There was never any need to use the rest of the condo.

I bypassed the living room and kitchen and went straight to my room; pulling off my clothes and throwing them in the hamper I kept in the closet. I turned on the water to the shower and stepped in. The hot water pounded against my skin relaxing every muscle in my body, it was heavenly and I almost regretted turning the water off when I did.

I stepped out and pulled on underwear I knew Jacob would appreciate before clothing myself in my high fashion garb, and applying my make up. I styled my short hair to its usual style and stared at my reflection. Maybe I should grow my hair out. I hadn't had long hair since my freshman year in high school; maybe it was time for a change.

I glanced around my room before pulling on my Manolo's and heading for the door. I really was kind of pathetic; maybe I should get a goldfish or something.

Ignoring my own last comment, I made my way to _Impromptu Wine Bar Café_ and found a table in a quiet corner. I knew Bella would want to talk, so I tried to keep it relatively low key without it being completely out of the atmosphere.

I sat patiently keeping my eyes on the door so I could wave her down when she arrived. I liked our weekly meetings. I had lived with Bella for so long in college, I missed seeing her every day. We talked about anything and everything and she understood me.

My eyes moved around the crowd slowly. I was looking for anything with potential, but they all seemed to be middle-aged businessmen in cheap suits, drinking cheap wine. It just reminded me of my ex, and that was the biggest turn off I could imagine. This was obviously not the holy land I had hoped it would be.

Bella arrived shortly after I had given up on the male specimens in the bar. Every male eye in the bar turned and watched as she grinned at me through the sea of people. The grin was genuine but I could see something was bothering her. She was like an open book sometimes.

"Hey Bella." I jumped from my perch on the stool and wrapped my arms around her. "You look gorgeous. How's tricks?"

"Eh, don't ask, I just need a drink right now" she said pushing herself onto the stool and picking up the drink menu. "How's work?"

I waved down a waiter and he nodded in my direction.

"Busy, the designers all want to be in this issue, it's the last one before spring fashion week and they all want the spotlight." I said waving my hand around exasperated. "How's Edward?"

"He's studying with _her_ again, I can't wait until they take this damn exam so I can get my husband back." Bella said impatiently, I knew she was referring to the strawberry blonde that enjoyed making comments at Bella's expense. I had never had the pleasure of meeting her, but the woman seemed to ooze bitch, it was obvious in some of her cattier comments. "Although, when I get home tonight, I'm not so sure he'll be happy to see me."

"Bella, you'd be a fool to think that man wasn't always happy to see you, everyone sees the way he looks at you." I said encouragingly, hoping that she would listen. Edward adored Bella; you only had to be in the same room as them to get that. His eyes lit up as soon as she entered the room and followed her until she left again.

"Yeah, you just see him when he's on his best behavior . . ."

"What do you mean?"

"We got in this stupid fight today, you know how much I hate Thursdays, and he was acting like a baby when he got home." She shook her head in exasperation. "I yelled at him about the socks thing again, and he got all turned on, seriously Alice, I only get sex from him lately when I pick a fight with him. And I barely got that today."

"I'm sorry honey, I know how frustrating that must be, but you know how difficult it is the first couple of years at the hospital." I said empathizing. "I'm not picking sides sweetheart, but do you think being home alone all day is getting to you?"

Bella sat back as the waiter brought our wine and a glass for Bella. He placed them in the center of the table and smiled at me before rushing away to serve the newest customers. Bella poured herself some wine and took a sip.

"I really do, I hate being so bitter and I feel bad when I get mad at him, but between Bailey ignoring me, and him being cranky when he comes home, I just can't help it."

"Have you told him this, how you feel? Or do you do what you always do and keep it inside until it becomes too much?" Bella was almost as self-suffering as a martyr at times; she never put herself first. She took a couple more sips from her glass before answering.

"I tried to," Bella said honestly, taking another sip of her wine. "But then he kept throwing the fact that Esme was a housewife in my face, I hate it when he does that."

She poured us both another glass of wine and took another extended sip from her glass. I couldn't believe how upset she was about this. She'd been here less than five minutes and was on her second glass of wine.

"I have been trying to talk to him lately, but he just tunes me out and nods, but I know he's not really listening . . ."

"He uses his mother as an example?" I couldn't get over that, and it seemed like quite a low blow. Edward's mom was an amazing woman, but no man should compare his wife to his mother. It's a standard no woman can live up to. Look at the dictionary for the definition of Stepford wife, and Esme Cullen's picture would be smiling back at you.

"Yeah, because we _all_ know how perfect _she_ is, perfect housewife, perfect architect . . . blah, blah, blah, I'm _not_ his damn mother." Bella rubbed her forehead in frustration, confirming my own sarcastic remark. All I could do was smile sympathetically; I had no idea how to deal with that; I had never been married.

"I keep trying to keep up with my writing, but between all of the housework and trying to keep him entertained when he's in a good mood, I have barely made it past chapter five."

"Bella, you're writing is what defines you, you love to write. Have you tried to set aside some time for yourself? I mean, I know that you barely see him; maybe if the dishes weren't done for once he'd get the idea. He'd understand how much you take away from yourself to keep the house in order." I couldn't imagine Edward ever being _that_ guy, but it seemed that when the lights go out and you're not in the spotlight, things change. "You staying home was always his idea. I can't believe he'd expect this much from you."

"I know, and I told him that, I told him I just need something to keep myself busy; something that's mine, but then he brings up the trust fund and then the fact that we still don't know his residency assignment and he always talks me out of going after anything."

"Do you want me to try and get you something at the magazine?" I asked. I knew that some of the staff writers were moving on to bigger things. _Couture_ was a largely visual publication. No serious writer would stay on staff for too long, but it could be just the ticket to get Bella out of the house.

The waiter slid another bottle of wine onto our table and disappeared again.

"Are they looking for any print editors? I mean, you know how much I like my little red pen . . ."

"I'm sure we could find something. I think . . . and I may be wrong, but I think that the book editor is taking an offer with the Seattle times. Would you be interested in that? It's not the greatest literature, but it's something."

"You know what, I think right now, that getting me out of the house and surrounding myself with adults again will help me put things into perspective."

"Let me talk to Suzanna tomorrow. I can arrange a meeting. She's the features editor; the books fall under her category, so she can hook you up."

Bella grinned widely and I could see the cogs in her mind turning. "If it's not too much trouble, I think it might actually be good to get into the professional world. I know I don't have much practical experience, but I'm a quick learner."

"Bella, your too good for the job, but I just think the environment might be good for you." And it was true; she spent all day, every day cleaning the already clean house. That alone would be enough to drive me insane, but having no one to talk to . . . I would fall apart.

"And I could see my friend some more too." She said winking her eye and almost giggling.

"We could do lunch everyday instead of once a week. You could play with the male models too. It's the best part of my day." I grinned.

"I'm not so sure Edward would like that, but it never hurts to look . . ."

"Hey, I can appreciate a look but don't touch policy. You know I have high moral standards."

"Yeah, Alice, your morals are so high you won't even kiss and tell."

"Hey, what can I say, I'm not willing to share. I know a good thing when I got it!" I smiled what I knew must have looked like a tight smile. I hated lying to Bella, but I couldn't tell her about Jacob, not yet anyway.

"Seriously? You have been seeing this guy for how long, and you still won't tell me his name." She pouted, her eyes on her glass as she swirled her wine around inside of it.

"Honestly, Bella, I don't see a relationship forming between us. We're both lonely and it's just sex." That was the whole, honest to god truth. Jacob and I were having sex. Period. Nothing more was there other than friendship.

"You get more sex that I do. Hell, Bailey probably gets more sex than I do." Bella pouted, pushing out her bottom lip.

I stifled a giggle at my best friend and gave her an encouraging smile. I could see her seriously considering taking the job, and that thrilled me.

Bella was a perpetual thinker and I could see her focusing on everything behind her unfocused eyes. She was working this to her advantage, her working would probably make Edward react, and Edward reacting would mean more sex.

"Oh god," her head fell into her hands, she shook her head once and looked up at me. Terror and amusement painted her face. "What the hell am I supposed to tell him if she does offer me something?"

"Tell him the truth. That you can't sit in the house doing nothing all day. It's destroying you and it's destroying your relationship. You could actually get some writing done in the office. Nobody would know the difference. The atmosphere might even help."

"At this point I might not even tell him, he's gone so much anyways, maybe I will just see if I like it and then tell him about it later."

"That would work." I said giggling playfully.

Bella blew out a lungful of air and filled our glasses again. I was beginning to think it was the equivalent to a nervous twitch.

"What can he say? You're a grown woman, highly educated to boot."

"Yeah, he always did like the look of me in a suit, something about a librarian fantasy."

"Interesting thought, but you could wear a trash bag and you would look hot Bella. If that's what it takes though, at least you'll get laid."

"This afternoon was the first time in over a week," Bella sighed, I fought to keep my mouth shut. "And I had to drop the '_f_' word to get him to do it, because the condom box was empty."

I rolled my eyes. Edward could be such a stubborn ass. "What is with him and that word? Does he get hot and bothered when you stub your damn toe?" I giggled.

The waiter appeared with another bottle of wine and a glass. He set it down in front of Bella. "Miss, the man at the bar asked me to bring you this drink. He also asked me to pass along this note." The waiter handed Bella a napkin before strolling away. _Classy!_

"That's just weird, what does it say?" I asked looking at the creepy guy at the bar, he wasn't terribly unfortunate in the looks department, but I knew his type. James was one of these guys.

"Um," Bella span the small piece of paper in her hand, the writing was obviously disastrous. "It's a phone number, obviously his, and underneath is a hotel and a room number. Oh my god Alice, I think I just got solicited for a one night stand."

I laughed at my best friends enthusiasm. I couldn't even understand it; she had a husband to go home to; sex or no sex it was a warm body. This was my life, weeding out sleazes from genuine guys. It was a nightmare and as much as I liked my freedom, sometimes being single was a living hell.

The man's eyes were transfixed on Bella's giddy behavior, and I could see him calculating his odds in his sick little mind. This wouldn't end well.

"He obviously didn't see the rock yet, or he's just one of _those _. . ." Bella continued not noticing the man's eyes transfixed to her every movement.

"He's looking at you, I think he wants a lot more than a one night stand, and I doubt he can even see your hand from the bar; it's buried in your hair." I laughed nodding at her left hand. I let my eyes wander back to the bar, but the guy was already out of his seat and heading towards us. "Oh shit; heads up he's coming over."

"Oh god, oh god, oh god!"

"You want me to take care of this?" I'd definitely had my fair share of fools. I could effectively take care of this idiot. I could see the drunken haze surrounding him already.

"I don't know, maybe we should see what he wants, this could be entertaining."

I rolled my eyes . . . entertaining? Drunken men with a taste for lust are never '_entertaining_.' They had the potential to be dangerous and their hands seeming had minds of their own.

The man stumbled to the table, his hand gripped tightly around the edge as he steadied himself as leaned in to Bella. I could smell the alcohol clearly from my side of the table. The guy was toasted.

"Evening ladies." He slurred, a greasy smile forming over his thin lips.

"Um, thanks for the drink." Bella said holding up the glass he'd sent over.

"No problem beautiful, did you get the note?" He leaned closer into Bella and I could see his eyes roaming to her breasts. Her mouth fell open and her eyes widened as she realized what he was doing.

"Whoa guy, eyes up top." I whispered in amazement and Bella shifted uncomfortably.

"Yeah, maybe you could explain it to me." She said grinning deviously. She wanted to make the guy squirm but he was way past eloquence. "Do you live in a hotel?"

The guy looked nervous and ran his hand along the back of his neck. Then his eyes got hungry. "I'm only in town for this week, and you look like someone I would enjoy screwing."

Wow, there's the line, and oh, he sure as shit just crossed it. What a moron, did he honestly believe he was charming?

"Not so sure my husband would enjoy that." Bella smiled and flashed the ring on her left hand.

He mumbled something under his breath. The ass then turned to me, appraising me up and down as though I was a side of beef. "How about you sweet cheeks?"

"You're fucking kidding right?" I scowled; I couldn't believe this guy's audacity. Bella giggled quietly as I rolled my eyes in disgust. "With the state you're in I doubt you could find your dick."

"You're feisty, I bet you're fun in bed." He purred, licking his lips as he swayed towards me.

"You can leave now, asshole." I spat, my voice as cold as ice so he knew I meant it, I raised my eyebrows in disgust.

Bella laughed harder and threw her hand over her mouth. He looked between us both before standing up.

"Bitches," he muttered as he walked away. We both watched the asshole stumble back to his stool at the bar. I snorted and took a sip of my wine.

"Oh my god, what a creep." Bella said, her eyes wide with amusement and surprise.

"Yeah, liquid courage isn't known for its romanticism."

"Thank god I don't have to date anymore, I don't know how you do it." Bella said catching her breath and pouring us another glass.

"Yeah; it sucks, but you get the occasional good guys. Not everyone is a James."

Bella shook her head at the memory of my last serious boyfriend. James was still very much in the bad books of every one of my friends. Every single one of them would have happily castrated him.

"I'm so glad you kicked him, I would have if you hadn't." she shook her head once more in disgust. "What an ass."

"It's just my luck," I sighed taking a big sip of my wine. "You remember Mike senior year?"

"Yeah,"

Mike had been my steady boyfriend most of my senior year. He'd also been screwing the rest of the cheerleading squad. Bella hadn't heard the rumors and no one had given anything away. I went through half the year oblivious to his extra curricular activities.

"So, did James ever marry that crazy girl from _Vogue_?"

"I try to avoid him as much as I can. I'm in a different department now, so I'm not forced to see him . . . thank god." I had a friend in the marketing department, Sarah, who would call me when James had an appointment. She'd seen exactly what he'd done to me.

I had never even spoken to her about the situation, but every three months she would send me an email or call me letting me know he was in town. I sent her a huge Christmas present every year since.

"I swear; if I ever see that douche, I will rip him a new one." Bella attempted a growl.

"He's not worth our time. I think I disabled his ability to father children so we should be safe on that front. I like to pretend he doesn't exist."

"Yeah, we don't need any of his spawn running around." She sighed, I could almost see the change of topic in her eyes as something occurred to her. "Speaking of spawn, are you coming to Rosalie's shower?"

"Of course I am. I can't believe she's getting so big." I said thinking of the last time I had seen our friend. Her perfect body was still perfect, but there was a very obvious bump.

"I know, it's bizarre, but not quite as bizarre as watching my brother talk to the baby bump."

"Emmett's going to be a great dad." I giggled; the bear of a man could be very emotional at times. "He's just a big kid at heart."

"Yeah, I'm actually kind of looking forward to being an aunt."

"So, when are you and Edward going to start trying?" I asked, immediately regretting it; I knew the wine must have been getting to me. She'd told me earlier that Edward was still using protection.

"Oh god, not you too, Esme already attacked me with that one." She said, playing with the base of her wine glass and sliding it across the table in sweeping motions. "He is still paranoid about it, like I told you, the second the condom box empties, he won't even touch me."

"Well, maybe you should explain _that_ to Esme."

"Yeah, cause Esme Cullen would _love _for me to tell her how I beg her son for sex. Or better yet, how he only seems to get turned on when I yell at him." She shook her head again. "That would go over well."

"God, I'm so sorry. I may not get sex all the time; there may even be large spans of time without it, but I can't imagine what you're feeling. Do you feel rejected or frustrated?"

"A little of both I guess. Although I have taken to relieving the '_frustration_' myself if he's being difficult." She said using air quotes for emphasis on her frustration.

"Ugh, remind me never to date a doctor. There has to be some way to get you out of this funk. Seriously, I think you should consider that position at _Couture_."

"I know, it's looking better the more we talk about it." She sighed and looked up at me. "Maybe then he'd appreciate me a little more if I wasn't at his beck and call."

"I think it would definitely open his eyes a little." I pushed gently.

"You know what, lets do it, he can pick up his own dishes for once, I'm done being little housewife Bella."

I clapped my hands at her renewed enthusiasm. "Come into the office tomorrow. I will set a meeting up in the morning."

"Should I wear a suit, or is that _out_ in the world of fashion?"

I could feel the smile growing on my lips and the energy flowing within me. "Come made up; we'll whisk you through the magic closet when you get there."

"Oh god, not again." She said wide-eyed.

"I promise, I'll be gentle." I begged.

"Isn't it enough that I traded up to Banana Republic?"

"I get free reign, come on. How often can you pick up a free designer outfit? We have a beautiful Donna Karen range. You'll love it."

"Fine, I guess I can be Bella Barbie for some DK." She grinned relenting.

"Excellent, I promise, it will take ten minutes." I clapped my hands together in sweet victory. I loved any excuse to rifle through the closet, I made sure to visit twice a day to make sure I hadn't missed a new sample. I was a fashion hog, and I never apologized.

"So, you seeing Mr. Publishing sex god tonight?"

I cringed, if she actually knew who he was she'd be . . . well, I didn't know how she would react. "Actually, I am. He asked me to call him; so I'll probably hit him up after I leave here."

"Yeah, I'm sure you will _hit him up_." She said winking playfully.

"You have no idea." I laughed almost sighing at the thought of release tonight. Jacob was amazing at helping me reach that, his big hands, his muscular back, his big . . . I shuddered gently in anticipation.

"I ran into Jacob today, literally."

"Jacob? Jacob Black?" Holy crap was that too obvious? She knows he works in my building. I willed my heart to start beating normally again as I kept the interested look in my face.

"Yeah, I looked horrifying. He made me follow him around Target."

"I miss him; we were such good friends while you and Edward got close." I didn't have to miss him, but it seemed like a natural thing to say.

"I was so glad you were there to look out for him."

"He's a nice guy, always has been." I smiled.

"So do you see him in the building that often?" she asked pouring another glass for us both. "He told me he runs into you from time to time."

"Occasionally in the elevator, but not much around that. We're both so busy." I felt terrible about lying, but I couldn't let her know.

"So, what are you doing on Sunday?" She asked changing the subject.

"Sunday? Nothing, Why?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to join us for dinner, Edward actually has the day off."

"Are you sure you don't want him to yourself?"

"I think I might need a buffer, especially if tomorrow goes well." She grinned conspiratorially.

"Okay, I would love to."

"Great."

"What time do you want me there?"

"Seven-ish."

"Perfect." I said looking down at our now crowded table. "Holy crap, we've gotten through six bottles of wine."

"Oh man," Bella groaned playfully. "I'm gonna feel this tomorrow. What time is it?"

"Almost one," I answered looking at my watch.

"Ugh, I should probably get a cab, Edward is probably back from the library by now."

"I should hope so." I grinned, as I gave the waiter my credit card.

"Should I tell him about the creepy guy?" she asked giggling. Drinking the last of the wine in her glass.

"It might give him some introspect. I'd hate to think he takes you for granted."

"He'd probably try to come find him, he does have a little bit of a jealous streak."

I laughed at her serious face. "The guys only here for a week." I said rolling my eyes. "You don't have to tell him the hotel and room number,"

"No, I meant he would probably try to come find him tonight." She said visualizing it in her mind. "Although that would probably be kind of hot to see him that mad."

"The guy will be long gone by the time he gets back here; do it to watch him squirm. He deserves to know how desirable you are."

"Very true," Bella laughed, flicking her hair over her shoulder playfully. "Maybe I will have to pull out that nightgown you got me for my bridal shower."

"Oh the lacy number?" I said laughing. I remembered her face when she'd opened it.

"He always used to like it when I woke him up in the middle of the night."

"Try that, try something, Bella. You're miserable."

"Hmm, ok, maybe I really should get home now before my buzz wears off."

I jumped off my stool and threw my arms around my best friend. I hoped she found some remedy to her problem. I knew how passionate her relationship had been with Edward throughout college. I also knew that these were probably the creases of marriage that they needed to iron out.

"See you tomorrow."

"Bright and early." Bella said hugging me back tightly before heading out for a cab. I signed the credit slip and headed out into the night.

I left the bar feeling a little tipsy. Six bottles of wine later and I was amazed I was still coherent. Knowing I would be at Bella's for dinner this weekend cheered me up a little. I knew she craved human interaction as much as I did with Edward being so distracted with his work.

I pulled my phone from my purse and scrolled down to Jacob's number. I was horny from the alcohol and feeling a little lonely after saying goodbye to Bella. I held the phone to my ear and walked as it rang.

"Alice," his voice purred.

"Jacob," I smiled, I felt warm inside. "You wanna come over?"

"Be right there." Jacob chuckled. I could feel my toes already curling at the thought of this man taking me. _Damn Wine_.

"K' I'm on my way."

"You're not home yet?" he asked, a small tinge of concern coloring his tone.

"Jake, stop being such an old woman. I am two blocks from the condo. I'm perfectly capable of walking . . ." _Or stumbling in this case._ " . . . Home, I'll be fine. "

"Okay, I'll see you in five." I could hear the resigned smile in Jacob's voice.

"Good," I giggled, speeding up my steps. "I'm feeling a little _frisky_."

Jacob's loud laughter filled the earpiece as I smiled at his reaction. I snapped my phone shut and made my way to my building.

It didn't take me long to get there and just before I got into the lobby my phone buzzed in my purse. I pulled it out and looked at the caller ID.

"Bella?" I asked a little concerned.

"I'm home, I just wanted to make sure you made it alright."

"I'm in the lobby." I laughed, pushing the call button for the elevator, like I had OCD.

"K, I'm going to bed, see you tomorrow." She whispered.

"See you tomorrow." I laughed and snapped my phone shut.

I still had the smile plastered to my face as the elevator dinged and opened. Jacob, oddly enough, only lived the next building over and I saw his large tanned frame jogging through the lobby towards the elevator and I stuck my foot out to stop the doors closing.

He hopped in, wearing jeans and a button down shirt with the buttons open down his chest. I couldn't keep my eyes from the slight but understated muscles that bunched there.

In a moment of complete weakness, I ran my fingers over the skin as I looked up into his warm brown eyes. He was smiling at me with a cocky grin that would have normally bothered me, but tonight it fueled my quest to remove the loneliness.

His hands gripped my ass and hoisted me up against his body. My legs tightly wound around his narrow waist as my lips crashed against his. I enjoyed kissing Jacob, but there was no passion behind it, just pure sexual lust. His tongue danced across my bottom lip and I parted my lips, grinding my core into his stomach, for friction.

Jacob spun us around and pressed my body up against the elevator wall as his hands grasped at the hair at the back of my neck. I knew he could feel just how hot I was for him in this moment. I sure as shit felt how ready he was.

The doors dinged again before sliding open. Jacob pulled me into his chest and walked towards my door, as his tongue explored the dark dampness of my mouth. There would be no foreplay needed tonight, I was aching for him and I could feel just how ready he was.

I rummaged around in my bag for the keys and pulled them out. Jacob dropped me to my feet and I fumbled with the key, struggling to get it into the lock.

"Fuck!"

"Alice, here let me." Jacob took the keys and unlocked the door quickly all the while his lips were assaulting my neck as my entire front was pressed against the door. One of his knees was between my slightly parted legs sliding along my wetness creating amazing friction. I moaned lightly and his throbbing member almost pulsed against my back with anticipation.

The door fell open and I stumbled inside, spinning to face Jacob. I pulled the keys from the door and he pushed it closed and turned the lock as I backed away from him. I dropped my keys and purse to the ground and began undressing myself as I smirked and backed towards my bedroom.

I dropped my sweater to the ground and let my hands find the button to my skirt. Jacob's eyes were focused on my breasts as he unbuttoned his own shirt, and dropped it to the ground. My skirt slid down my legs and pooled around my feet as I stepped out of it.

Jacob's eyes widened in his lust as he pulled at the buttons of his pants, he kicked off his shoes and let his pants pool around his ankles. As he lifted a foot out he pulled off his socks and dropped them into the line of clothes behind him.

I lifted my leg to unbuckle my shoe, but Jacob shook his head. "You're keeping those on."

I ran my tongue across my lips and stepped into my room, followed closely by Jacob. He gathered me into his arms and lowered me onto the bed. I could see exactly how turned on he was by the bulge in his boxers.

His lips crashed against mine and I let my hands wander down to the waistband of his boxers. I needed a release; I needed him to take me.

Jacob kicked his boxers to the floor and kneeled at the edge of the bed. I unhooked my bra and let it drop off the side of the bed as he slid my panties down my legs. He moved over me, his knees between my own. I could feel his hardness nudging at my wet lips.

I nodded towards the nightstand where I kept my condoms and Jacob nodded, pulling one out and sheathing himself. He repositioned himself at my entry and smiled as he teased me.

I rolled my eyes and he plunged into me. He filled me completely and my back arched into his chest. My legs bent and pushed me towards him as my breath came in small spurts of glorious pleasure. Jacob found his rhythm and rocked into me, grunting loudly.

I lifted my hips to meet his as he thrust into me, one leg hooking over his hip, as the heel of my Manolo dug into his skin. The euphoria was swimming around inside of me. I grasped the sheets in my fingers as I held on for dear life. Jacob pushed himself all the way into me and I fell over the edge. My body quivering and gripping him tightly as he slowed to the pleasure it afforded him. My toes curled into the shoes as the orgasm rocked me.

As my body slowed he picked up his pace again and drove harder into me. The sweat pooled on our skin as we met one another's thrusts. I knew Jacob's endurance during sex; I also had become accustomed to his faces. He was close.

I found his lips with my own and bit down on his lower lip knowing it would send him over the edge. His entire body tensed and quivered around me as he pulsated inside of me.

He collapsed against me and our damp bodies slapped gently as they came into contact. Jacob knew how to make me cum easily and as he'd reached his climax, I could feel another building inside of me.

I knew what was missing between us; there was no love, or passion. Just sexual desire, it was a need to fulfill the most animalistic need - to cave to our bodies cravings. However, it was also completely and utterly enjoyable, we were just never synchronized with one another.

Jacob pulled himself from me and disappeared into the bathroom to dispose of the condom. I was too tired and drunk to do much of anything. I curled into the covers and waited for him to come back. There were times we liked to go for round two.

Jacob crawled into bed and pulled my back against his chest. This was customary with us. We often slept platonically like that in college. I could hear his breathing evening out as the high of the euphoria finally expelled from my body.

"I bumped into Bella today." He whispered almost tenderly into my ear.

"She mentioned it." I said yawning and adjusted my head on his arm.

"Best sex you ever had huh?" he purred into my ear.

_Fuck_! And Fuck again. I should have known! I couldn't blame Bella for saying something because it's how our group had always operated. Jacob wasn't stupid, and I would never live this down.

"Yeah, and?" was my brilliant comeback. Why bother denying it. He knew it was the truth.

"It's quite a compliment."

"Don't let it go to your head Jake," I laughed playfully. "If it gets any bigger you'll be top heavy."

He pulled me a little tighter to his chest and kissed my hair tenderly. What the hell was he doing? It was almost borderline affection and that was never part of our little arrangement; not that we spoke about it much.

"Cut it out, Jake."

"You've never thought about it?"

"About what?" I asked knowing, but hoping I was wrong.

"Us." He whispered almost hopefully.

"Jake, there is no _us_." I said gently, stroking the arm of his that was wrapped around my waist. "We're friends, we'll always be friends, but there will never be anything more. You know I love you, but I'll never be _in_ love with you."

Jacob chuckled once and flexed his arms around me. "You're probably right. No reason to make this weird. I like our arrangement."

I laughed. "Me too. You are after all the best sex I ever had!"

Jacob rolled me over and worked his knee in between my thighs, causing a warm friction to pull the ache once again to the forefront. I felt him harden against my hips as I moaned gently; it was a round two night, and Jacob leaned to the nightstand to get another condom.

**

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I woke up the next morning to an empty bed. The indent of his head was still on the pillow next to me, so I fluffed it once and placed it back in his place smiling.

I crawled out of bed to clean up the slew of clothes strew across my living room floor. My head was pounding a little and my body ached a little. I stretched out the kinks in my back and turned to grab my robe from the chair.

I rolled my eyes and laughed when I saw all of my clothes folded neatly in a pile on the chair. Jacob never left any evidence of himself but the pillow. He was like a phantom at times.

I jumped in the shower instead and got ready for work. I still had a meeting to set up for Bella and I needed to get some coffee. The wine was really making my head throb.

After an amazing night, this had the potential to be a bad day . . .

**

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A/N: Ah Jacob, Naked in a bed, I am a bad, bad woman!! What can I say, Alice was lonely and horny and she had someone to remedy that little problem. Jacob was just the guy.**

**Hope you enjoyed it . . . I wanna thank goldentemptress for being a fabulous co-writer, she's awesome! Also for setting the bar so high, she's a tough act to follow.**

**I would also like to thank you guys for the warm reception with the intro's, all of the alerts and faves, and seriously, the REVIEWERS YOU GUYS ARE SERIOUSLY AWESOME AND YOU COMPLETELY ROCK!!!!**

**Let us know how we're doing ;)**

**See you next week, Much love and big hugz – L -**


	5. The Prick and the Prince

_**Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong to the Awesome Stephenie Meyer.**_** However . . . **_**Couture**_** is our veritable wonderland . . . Good clothes, hot men and celebrities . . .**

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The Prick and the Prince**

**APOV **

I was running so late this morning that I took the Porsche to the office. Trying to rid myself of the hangover had taken a little longer than I had anticipated and I had ended up spending almost forty-five minutes in the shower; easing my aching muscles. The steam ran over my tense body and I stood under the pulsing water letting it ease out the knots.

Another reason I was glad Jacob wasn't around in the mornings, seeing me and all of my post coital aches would only amuse him further. The smug bastard had run me through the ringer last night. Even I wasn't aware I could bend that way.

It took me longer than usual to do, well, everything. I guess I should compliment his libido more often. I may hurt like hell now, but last night . . . _Damn!_

I pulled into the parking garage, feeling a little better now I had a shot of expresso coursing through my system. I really needed to shake this off before I got in the office.

I looked around the garage before getting out of my car, being as petite as I am, you're always safety conscious. Strange vans and strangers didn't bode well with me. Ever since I had seen P2, I had avoided the parking attendant too, Jacob and his stupid scary movies, it was what we did before we screwed; curling up on my bed eating take out and watching movies.

After a scan of the place, I knew beyond a reasonably doubt that this day no longer had the potential to be a bad day; it was a bona-fide, full-blown disaster. Standing at the elevator was none other than James "the douche" Damon. Even from this distance I could see his smug smile as he waited for the elevator to open. Just what I needed!

I was sure I hadn't heard my phone go off, with my usual warning. I pulled out my PDA and checked my messages; sure enough, there was my warning. I obviously hadn't heard the alert, and looking at the time of its arrival; it was while I had been indisposed with Jacob.

Sarah was one of the advertising account executives and was, as I was, married to her job. A two am email wasn't unusual. Apparently his client wanted in this issue as much as everyone else did.

_Alice;_

_Sorry it's such short notice, James due in am tomorrow. Thought you'd appreciate the heads up._

_Talk to you later_

_Sarah_

I procrastinated in my car and emailed Sarah back thanking her for the warning. I also called my assistant, Amanda, to let her know I'd be five minutes late. There was no way in hell I was going to be trapped in a small confined space with James. Not today, not ever.

I looked up just as the elevator doors were closing and breathed a sigh of relief. With any luck, by the time I got up there, he would be gone. If Sarah was expecting him, it meant that there was a chance it could work in my favor. I hated that he had this effect on me. He'd been the one that had lied, not me, yet I felt compelled to avoid him at all costs.

He seemed to wear it as though it was a badge of pride. He should have a neon sign above him stating he was a lying cheating bastard and to trust him at your own peril. He was a womanizer and he wasn't sorry about it either. I'm sure if I'd thought to ask him he'd of let me know up front.

I headed up to the elevator and pressed the button with my usual OCD compulsion. I hated it when he was in town. Any love I'd had for him had long since been replaced with an intense hatred, just another reason I avoided him he brought out the violent side of me. Nothing good would come from meeting with him face to face.

The elevator dinged quietly and I got in and waited as the twenty floors bleeped away as it continued it's ascending. The doors slid open on my floor and my worst nightmare was still standing at reception.

He was flirting with the girl behind the counter and hadn't noticed me yet. I would have to walk straight past him to get to my office. A beautiful visual of throwing things at his overly large head over took my mind briefly before I realized my aim really wasn't that good.

I stood awkwardly in front of the elevator doors as they slid closed behind me. I was stuck and had absolutely no way around it. I knew James, and I knew he would make an effort to engage me in a conversation. Conversing with him would turn out badly with this many witnesses around.

Then a ray of hope stepped out of the men's bathroom. If the angels could have appeared and sung a chorus I was sure they would have.

He was gorgeous, tall, blond and leonine as he strolled towards reception. His handsome chiseled features added to his brooding good looks. He was the epitome of a Greek god. Where the hell had he come from, and who the hell was he? I watched as his muscles rippled under the plain white t-shirt he was wearing and I could make out the defined V of his waist as it disappeared under his pant line. I was a smitten.

My breath caught in my throat and my stomach flipped insanely as my eyes roamed over him. No one had ever had this effect on me before, I mean sure, I work with male models, I'd seen my fair share of beautiful men, but this guy was encapsulating. My heart was pounding in my chest and I had no answers as to why. I attributed it to my situation and decided to take my chances.

I headed towards the Greek god quickly and pushed him into the small alcove space that hid the bathrooms from plain view of the reception. His beautiful blue eyes widened as his back hit the wall. I was sure someone as small as myself plowing into him at a high rate of speed had been quite shocking to him. I had the ability to exert energy when needed.

"Eh, hi," I squeaked quietly, looking over my shoulder to make sure there were no witnesses to my savage manhandling. Up close, he was even more handsome, and my heart kept up its irregular pounding in my chest; and his smell . . . I had never breathed in anything as masculine and sexy as him either. I seems I had just boarded the train to lala land. _Get a grip Alice_, my inner voice screamed as the silence extended to almost uncomfortable.

The blond smiled revealing a mouthful of perfect white teeth, and his pectoral muscles flexed under my palms. The heat coursed through my skin like waves of molten lava and every nerve in my body tingled like a live wire, roll upon roll of excitement rolled down my spine. I dropped my hands in my chagrin. What was I _doing_? How the hell did a complete stranger have an effect on me like this?

"Hello," His southern drawl was like liquid silk as it washed over me. I repressed the shudder of pleasure that was building inside of me and grinned again. His blue eyes were captivating as they scorched from under the blond mane. I had to think before I could form a complete sentence.

All the while our eyes just burned into one another. I couldn't look away; his eyes were the color of sapphires but sparkled like diamonds. There was a mischief behind his eyes, as though he already knew I was up to something. Maybe this _was_ a bad idea, but I couldn't walk away now. I had pinned the guy to a wall for crying out loud.

"Would you be willing to save my sanity?" I blurted out quickly; I could hear the flirting tones I was using but couldn't stop myself. I was beginning to feel a little overwhelmed. His eyes were still glued to mine.

"What would that entail?" he chuckled; even his laugh was perfect.

"Walk me to my office and go along with anything I say on the way?" I asked hopefully, biting my lip. I gave him my best smile as I watched a playful spark, once again dance across the crystal blue. I was sure he could put two and two together, and if James stopped us; it would fill in every blank in between. Unfortunately, it was a risk I was willing to take.

"I think I can handle that." His voice was a little deeper as he grinned playfully at me. He dipped his head closer towards me until his breath tickled my ear and made my short hair dance around my earlobes. "I'm Jasper for future reference."

"Alice," I grinned, forcing my eyes to stay open in this close proximity. He smelled even better this close. Warm musk with a hint of mint and cool water, it was divine.

_Shake it off woman_, I smiled again, stepping back from him, taking his warm hand in mine and pulling him behind me. I could feel the pulse of electricity running through the hand that touched his. My stomach filled with nerves as I crossed the reception floor. Was I nervous; or did my new friend Jasper have this effect on me?

We walked into the reception area headed towards the desk; there was a hallway to the right that lead back towards the open expanse of offices. Jasper and I walked slowly hand in hand as we passed the desk.

Jasper interlaced his fingers with mine loosely as though it were the most natural thing on earth. I prayed James wouldn't look up from the receptionist. I was enjoying the comfort of Jasper's hand a little too much.

"Alice," James' purring voice had become like nails on a chalkboard to me. As soon as I heard it I wanted to spin and slap his condescending grin straight from his smug face. Did I mention I hated him?

_SHIT!_ _Shit, Shit,_ I should have known the ass would be looking. It seemed nothing kept his attention for long. Now I knew what he was and how he did it; nothing really surprised me about him. I stopped and turned around slowly, shooting Jasper a pleading look to help me out. Jasper's warm hand squeezed my own causing my stomach to twist again. I straightened my face into a painfully pleasant smile before I was face to face with him again.

"James," I could hear the distaste in my voice as I uttered it. I was happy to see I hadn't lost my pure hate for the man. He was, to me, like red to a bull. I saw him and wanted to swipe the smirk straight from his smug face. Ugh, I hated the bastard.

We stood in an uncomfortable silence for a moment; I glared, while James smirked. It was ridiculous, but I could still feel the gentle, calming warmth of Jasper's hand in mine and I was all too aware of him standing next to me.

Jasper gave a gentle tug on my hand and pulled me into his expansive chest, he released my hand and wrapped both of his arms around my waist protectively. His warmth, his smell, the gentle bobbing of his Adam's apple, was almost too much for me. I tried to keep my eyes on James so I wouldn't collapse; I was hoping my anger would stop my ridiculousness.

No such luck, James had an intense glare set on Jasper's arms, and it only seemed to make me giddier. Knowing that this could possibly drive him away from me forever was impossibly gratifying. I owed Jasper more than he would know.

"How have you been?" James asked, attempting to be genuine. I saw right through him.

"Great thanks, how's Victoria? You two set a date yet for the big day?" My words hit their mark. The receptionist glared at James once and went back to working. Jasper's arms tightened around me as he brushed a strand of my hair from my face. A trail of fire followed the path his fingers took.

How bad would it be if I turned around and kissed his throat? I was losing my mind.

"No, we, eh . . ." James' voice trailed off as Jasper kissed my forehead lightly, I wasn't going to make it out of this alive; I was about to pass out from hyperventilation or worse. This was all so surreal. Jasper shifted around me slightly, and I looked down at the ground fighting the smile his lips had given me.

"You gonna introduce us baby?" I fought my compunction to laugh. Jasper was pushing it a little far now, but I had to admit I was enjoying it. He was gorgeous, and the way my body was reacting to him was criminal. Not to mention the squirming of James. He hated being in positions like this.

"Sorry; James Jasper, Jasper James." I said nodding my head at each of the men. Jasper pulled on hand from my waist and held it out to James. James blinked twice before even acknowledging Jasper's hand.

"Good to meet you." Jasper said, his accent almost hidden.

James glared but returned the pleasantry; I could see he was grasping Jasper's hand a little too tightly as he tried to prove a point, but I felt Jasper's muscles flexing once making James drop the hand.

I smirked once before taking my escape. I was torn, being this close to Jasper was amazing and I could get quite used to it, but James was nothing something I wanted to see while daydreaming about Jasper. I also had to get to work, I had appointments, Bella and a photo shoot scheduled this morning.

"Well, I have work to do. It was good seeing you James." I lied. Without waiting for a response, I pulled Jasper towards my office. I walked in casually and pushed the door closed without a word to my assistant. I leaned against the door and smiled at Jasper.

"Thanks, I owe you one." I sighed and tried to keep my composure. Even after my run in with James, the only thing I could effectively think about was this man standing in front of me. I think I had finally worked too much, or maybe it was the wine making a comeback.

"Ex?" Jasper asked, his lips curling into that amazingly perfect smile.

I nodded and moved towards my desk. "We didn't part well either. He was a bit of a pig. I won't bore you with the details. It's long and unnecessary and I'm really sorry I dragged you into that."

My eyes flickered to my closed door; I had just realized I had him in my office alone. My mind was running away with my overactive imagination. I normally kept the door open when I had men inside, but this guy really seemed to scramble my mind. I was just standing blatantly staring at him; I had to say something.

"I'm not keeping you from an appointment or anything am I?" I whispered smiling as I lowered myself into my chair.

Jasper smiled again, flashing his gorgeous teeth. The movements of his muscles made the light catch his blond hair, making him look even more handsome. I had to remind myself to breathe on several occasions. He had to be a model, his body was perfect, and he was tall, bewilderingly handsome, and so chiseled.

Jasper sat down in the chair across from me and leaned his elbows on his knees; his hands clasped one another between the two. He was definitely a model.

"Actually, I believe I_ am_ your first appointment," he chuckled.

I looked down at my schedule and took a deep breath. "So, you're Jasper Whitlock?"

"That'd be me."

"Well, I guess there's really no need for an interview. Not a conventional one anyway. Although," I said, lowering my voice. "You would have gotten the job on your own merit, you're perfect for the Ralph Lauren men's line."

Jasper laughed, his deep tones resonated from the walls of my office. This was bad . . . I could already feel myself getting giddy over this beautiful man; and there was no way in hell he would ever look at me that way, especially seeing as I had just hired him after he'd pretended to be my boyfriend.

_Crap_, I was such a flake sometimes. It wasn't the greatest first impression to make and I doubted he was single anyway. There was no way a guy this good looking could be alone.

"Just like that, sweetheart. You don't even know if I can model." He laughed breezily, flexing his hands together, his blue eyes trained on mine. I could get lost in those things if I had half the chance. _Focus Alice!_

"_Sweetheart_," I said throwing the endearment back at him with a smile. "I have an eye for these things and I can guarantee that you can model. I don't need you to audition, but I will need you to do some test shots. We have the studio booked for later today."

I pulled open the drawer on my desk and pulled out the sheets of paper. I signed each one of them and slid them across my desk to him. "These are your release forms; I need you to fill them in and hand them to Amanda my assistant before we head down to the studio. She'll get you something to drink, or anything else you might need. I will be back in about fifteen minutes to take you down to the studio. If I'm not back, Amanda will point you in the right direction."

I stood up and walked around the desk, holding out my hand to him. "Thank you again Jasper. For everything." I said winking.

He stood up from his seat and towered over me, his perfect smile locked in place, his blue eyes sparkling again.

"It was my pleasure, Alice, or should I call you Ms. Brandon?"

"Alice is fine," I smiled, I was hyper aware of the too long handshake in which we were engaging. This man was having way too big of an effect on me. I stepped away to the door and held it open. Jasper slid past me and winked as he approached Amanda's desk. My heart was hammering in my chest and I felt lightheaded.

I took a deep breath and headed towards Suzanna's office. Bella would be here soon and I needed to make sure Suzanna had something available.

I managed to maneuver around the office without bumping into James again. It could have been due to the fact that I went the long way around and avoided the accounting department. I'd had enough of him today; I'd had enough of him for the rest of my life.

I knocked on Suzanna's doorframe and waited silently. As features editor I knew she would be busy, she managed most of the staff writers and had to thumb through most of the submitted pieces from agencies. She was always running around rounding up her writers, trying to get things in on deadline.

Most of the staff writers at the magazine didn't last long, they were young, looking to get a foot in the door and writing for a fashion magazine often gave them that boost. It was great for them, but not always so good for us. Sue was always looking for good writers.

"Come in," She called sounding slightly harassed.

"Hey Sue, I was wondering if you could do me a huge favor?" I grinned at her as she looked up from her mountain of perfectly organized paperwork.

"Sure, Alice. Take a seat." I stepped in the office and slid into the plush chair she had facing her own. "What can I do for you Hun?"

"I have a friend, she's a phenomenal writer and she's looking for some work. Nothing big, just something that will help while she writes her novel. I was wondering whether you would have time this afternoon to interview her for the Book Review position?"

It wasn't award-winning literature, but I knew Bella appreciated the sentiment. She would have time to do what she needed, while getting out of the house and earning a little play money for her. Goodness knows they didn't need the money, but Bella was independent and I knew she would appreciate feeling as though she was contributing.

Bella had worked since high school, Charlie had never been a rich man, but he only ever wanted what was best for his daughter. Chief Swan was a good man, and I adored him. He often looked after me as though I were his own.

When my mom went out of town, which happened a lot, I always spent my time at the Swan house, helping Bella cook, watching Charlie clean his guns and he even attempted to take me fishing a couple of times. That didn't work out so well.

Needless to say, my first taste in the work force was beside Bella answering the phones in the Forks police department. It wasn't as though it was a large city, so no formal training was necessary. I think the worst call we ever received was concerning a domestic fight between Mr. and Mrs. Newton.

The point was; Bella was a worker, she had been from the moment Charlie allowed her to be. Being at home was making her stir crazy, and I understood why. I just hoped this would help her, get her back to where she wanted to be.

I looked back to Suzanna, her eyes widened and a large smile crept over her lips; she hadn't even noticed my little trip down memory lane. She was deep in thought.

After dropping her pen on her desk, she silently rifled through some papers before looking up at me again. I saw the 'yes' before she'd even said a word. She needed someone to fill that spot.

"Alice, you're a godsend. Michelle is leaving tomorrow; I've interviewed at least a dozen people and no one fits the bill. If this works out, you have seriously just saved my ass. When can she come in?" She asked pulling her date book out from under the mountain of papers that littered her desk.

"She should be here any minute."

"Can you give me an hour? I have some proof reading that has to be done yesterday." She sighed holding up a stack of papers and rolling her eyes.

"I have a shoot in about thirty minutes but that shouldn't be a problem; I'll just take her down to the studio; we're doing test shots for the new Polo range."

"Even better; Scarlett Johansson is coming in for her cover shoot in studio B, it'll give me more time." She said relaxing into her ergonomically correct chair.

Shooting a celebrity in the in-house studios wasn't a regular occurrence. Not many of the stars wanted to travel to Seattle to have their picture taken again, and put in yet another publication.

If we featured someone relatively new to the circuit they would insist on coming in, but other than that, they normally ran to a studio in Los Angeles where our photographer and art director would get what we needed. There, it was all in the comfort of their backyards, figuratively speaking.

"Really? Don't we normally do that in LA?" I asked watching her breeze through another stack of papers.

"She's in town shooting a new romantic comedy." Suzanna handed me some forms, and tapped them with the red pen she'd picked up during the shuffling of papers "Have your friend fill these in; if she's the right person I need her to start immediately. Having these filled in will mean I can get them to human resources immediately."

I nodded, took the papers and headed back towards my office. That was easier than I thought. I knew how Suzanna liked to interview writers and with Scarlett in town, Bella was in for a treat.

Even as an intern I had heard of Suzanna's stress test, every writer was thrown into the deep end, most sat awkwardly in front of the celebrity like they had a pole shoved up their asses.

Even when we didn't have celebrity in for an in house interview, she would send take them with her on her little trips to test them. Being star struck was never a good thing in front of Suzanna; it meant you couldn't do you job effectively.

I had never worked in her department, but efficiency was always the key. Deep in thought, I hadn't even realized I was taking the short cut to my office. My eyes flickered around the corridor as I sped up. It was too late to turn around now, and I was sure the meeting would have started by now.

Unfortunately, fate didn't smile upon me twice in one morning. James stepped out of the advertising department as I passed by. His smug face wore the familiar smile that used to make me glow. Now, it repulsed me. The resound groan echoed through my head as I hoped he would let me pass in peace. No such luck, apparently.

"Alice," his smug purring did nothing but anger me more. I didn't want to be stuck in this predicament.

"What James?" I snapped; the words slicing the tension like razor blades. I hadn't intended to be quite so rude, he _was_ working for a client, but I couldn't stop myself. I hadn't seen him since I had been promoted. I hadn't wanted to either.

James held up his hands in a gesture of peace and I checked my temper taking a deep breath. His eyes stayed on mine as he tried to calm me down so we could talk. I _hated _that he knew me so well; but that's what intimacy does to a person.

"Could you come in here for a minute?" He asked soundly, he was still trying to gain my confidence. Asshat.

My eyes scanned the empty office behind him and I shook my head. "Sorry; I haven't got time. I have a lot to do this morning."

I moved to walk away. Being polite to this man left a bitter taste in my mouth; it was like bile. I had to swallow it and my pride as I acted as though nothing had transpired between us. Like he hadn't trodden on my heart like it was a cigarette butt he was trying to put out. I was nothing to him, just a tool to get what he wanted while he was here, easily replaced. I hated the days he was in town.

"It'll only take a minute." He added, trying to sound soothing. Too bad I wasn't buying what he was selling; I had no need for a steaming pile of bullshit.

I rolled my eyes, "fine!" I stepped past him into the office and folded my arms across my chest; he pushed the door closed and turned to look at me. He took a step forward; I took a step back.

"Have you been avoiding me Alice?" he asked, his voice cutting through the air like a purr. I could feel my anger simmering away under the surface; he still thought he had some kind of hold over me. The arrogant asshole, he must have seriously thought I was that codependent - he was mistaken. I didn't _need _anybody, and I certainly didn't want him.

"It's been almost eighteen months James, what do you think?" I spat, now we were behind closed doors, there was really no need to be polite.

He stepped forward again and I took another step back; my thighs pressed against the desk behind me. _Dammit!_ I didn't trust James in the slightest. I didn't know if he would take it that far, but I really didn't want to test that theory either.

"Was that your boyfriend?"

Ha! That was when it clicked in my head; Jasper had made him jealous. The thought of me with another man bruised his ego. It made me angry, he didn't want me, but no one else could have me? _Screw that._ I laughed callously. "That's what this is about, James? You're jealous?"

"Alice . . ." More of the soothing tones that only angered me more.

"No;" I growled keeping my voice low; no one else needed to hear this. "I haven't seen you in eighteen months James; you were the one who stumbled into town with a fiancée attached to your hip. You suddenly want to corner me because you see me with someone else? Fuck you!"

James smirked and leaned into me. "I miss you, Alice. I miss this."

I leaned back until my body was bowed over the desk; my hands were planted in his chest. He ran his fingers down the valley between my breast and I shuddered in disgust. If he truly thought I could ever even think of him in that capacity again, he was a bigger idiot than I thought.

I pushed him once and he stumbled back, his eyes wide with shock. I slid past him and walked to the door. His hand shot out to grab my wrist but I twisted out of his reach, one hand on the door handle, and the other balled into a fist firmly at my side.

"Go to hell, James. You're nothing you worthless piece of shit."

I threw the door open and stomped out towards my office. I wouldn't let him get to me. I drug in breath, trying to calm the fury within me. The audacity of that asshole, did he honestly believe I would ever want _that_ again?

I marched towards my office; Jasper was still sitting patiently in Amanda's makeshift waiting room and he flashed me a smile before I headed into my office. I tried to force a smile on my lips but I couldn't. Damn James to hell.

I pushed the door closed to my office and slid down the door until my knees were tucked firmly under my chin. I wouldn't cry, I knew that much. I had promised myself that I would never shed a tear for that asshole again. I didn't however need time to recuperate.

I stayed curled up by the door and ground my teeth as I assigned every curse word that was, and wasn't in the English dictionary, to James. I wasn't sure if he was trying to get this out of me, or if he seriously thought I would consider being with him again.

Either way, he wasn't winning. I was over it. I couldn't let him effect me like this. I was happy with my life when he wasn't in it and I hadn't lost sight of that at all. I was just so damn mad. I was honestly feeling violent.

I took a couple of deep breaths before pulling myself up off the ground and heading towards my desk. I still had some things to get done before I headed down to the studio. I couldn't let James affect me anymore.

"Alice," Amanda's voice clicked on over the intercom. "Jacob Black called, and James buzzed up asking if you were free for lunch. I told him you were busy; I figured go to hell wasn't professional."

"Thanks Amanda." I laughed pressing the button to disconnect us. Amanda had been my assistant for the couple of years I had been here full time. She knew the situation with James and loathed him as much as my friends did.

We had a good working friendship and she happily screened my calls for me. There was no need to explain that James had already cornered me. I was hoping the town fool had gotten the message loud and clear.

I picked up the phone as I wiggled the mouse to warm up my computer screen. I dialed Jacob's cell number; he never made it in this early so there was really no point in calling his office.

"Hey Jake," I said pulling up the memo I knew would hold the layout information for the latest issue. The weekly meetings were held on Mondays so I had plenty of time to put together a mock layout with the test shots.

"Hey Alice, did you wanna go to dinner tonight? I know it's unorthodox; I just can't stand another TV dinner." He sounded so hopeful I really couldn't turn him down. Nor could I turn down the prospect of 'fun' two nights in a row, especially after my confrontation with James. It would be helpful in forgetting what happened.

If it would be anything like last nights escapades; it would do a lot more than make me forget. It would blow my mind and wipe the bitch clean. I needed to forget and Jake was just the person to help me.

I giggled gently into the phone. "Be at my place by seven, I'll do you one better and cook."

"Damn girl, you cook too?" He asked barking out a laugh. I had no idea why that was so hard to believe.

"Shut it Black, or you'll get corn dogs."

Jacob laughed into the phone as I rolled my eyes. "Fine seven it is then."

"Bye,"

"Bye Alice."

The day was quickly running away from me and I knew it. I clicked around on some of the proof layouts so I knew what I had to work with. Two four page layouts; that would be perfect. I could separate the lines by gender. There was a feature between them but I knew it would be more uniform. I could almost see Jasper's face smiling back at me. Ugh, I was like a lovesick puppy; how could a complete stranger have such an effect on me?

Sure, he was a gorgeous, blond haired; blue eyed, lean and muscular model, who wouldn't find him attractive? Even so, I knew that it was more than attraction that kept him on my mind. I had never in my life felt something like that with anyone, from just a touch. The spark, the intensity, I knew I wasn't imagining it, there was something there.

I shook my head out and tried to refocus on the work in front of me. I printed out the page layouts I needed and sketched what I wanted freehand. I planned on this being one of my better pieces. I checked the time Bella would be here any minute. The intercom beeped as if on cue.

"Alice, Bella Cullen is here." Amanda's voice rang through the small box.

"Thanks Amanda; is Jasper still waiting for me?"

"I sent him down to hair, that way he'd be ready for you in wardrobe."

"You're a life saver woman."

"It's why you keep me around Alice."

I laughed once and asked her to send in Bella; I had a feeling she wouldn't believe the day I was having. After a light tap on the door, it opened and Bella's smiling face appeared.

"Hey Bella; you're _never_ going to believe what happened to me this morning . . ."

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A/N: Well there he is, in all his glorious, hot, Jasper-like glory. A male model . . . it makes me drool just thinking of him in my mind . . . ahem, sorry . . . what was I saying? Oh right, so next I hand you off the highly talented Goldentemptress with Bella's perspective . . .**

**Please let us know how we're doing ;) Neither of us have co-written before and it's nice to know how we're doing . . . right?**

**Anyway, I just wanna say thanks for the alerts and faves . . . AND THANK YOU TO THE REVIEWERS WHO SERIOUSLY BLOW US AWAY WITH THEIR KIND WORDS AND COMMENTS, YOU ARE ALL AWESOME AND YOU COMPLETELY ROCK!!!!**

**TILL NEXT TIME – MUCH LOVE AND BIG HUGZ – L – **

**. . . Over to you goldentemptress . . .**


	6. I Want to Lick Ryan Reynolds

**A/N: We don't own Twilight, but as Nostalgicmiss pointed out, we did invent **_**Couture**_**, and we like to fantasize about large closets filled with designer clothing and semi-clothed male models……;)**

**You guys are seriously amazing, you make this story that much more enjoyable to write…..we are glad that you have all been receptive to our OOC ideas, and we hope that you continue to enjoy the story……**

**Enjoy!**

**_Last time, on Socks for Sex_**_:_

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_"Alice, Bella Cullen is here." Amanda's voice rang through the small box._

_"Thanks Amanda; is Jasper still waiting for me?"_

_"I sent him down to hair, that way he'd be ready for you in wardrobe."_

_"You're a life saver woman."_

_"It's why you keep me around Alice."_

_I laughed once and asked her to send in Bella; I had a feeling she wouldn't believe the day I was having. After a light tap on the door, it opened and Bella's smiling face appeared._

_"Hey Bella; you're __never_ going to believe what happened to me this morning . . ."

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**I Want to Lick Ryan Reynolds….**

**BPOV**

"Let me guess, you saw James?" I said, having seen the vile creature in the hallway on my way up to Alice's office. That man could never take a hint, and I had glared at him as he shamelessly smiled at me; like I was actually still someone who cared to acknowledge him and his tiny appendage.

"Oh it gets worse than seeing him. The bastard pulled me aside when I was flying solo," she said, grabbing my arm and pulling me towards her desk, closing the door behind her.

"Oh no, what did he say? Do I need to go out there and kick him? I'll do it ya know," I said quickly, sitting myself down in a chair next to her, while she sat down on the corner of the desk.

"He had the audacity to tell me that he missed me; and then proceeded to ask if I was avoiding him. I think it all stemmed from the guy I was with; the one I shamefully asked to be my temporary boyfriend."

"What an asshole, I can't believe him, he's got such an enormous ego. Wait...what? What temporary boyfriend?" I said, and Alice's grin got even larger before she answered me.

Hmm….this should get interesting, if Alice is commandeering strangers, then she really was desperate.

"Bella, he was beautiful. Tall, blond, the body of a god. I can't even begin to describe the effect this man had on me. Turns out he was my first appointment. Maybe if we get to the studio early enough you can meet him."

Her eyes lit up as she described him to me, and I could tell that Alice was already smitten. She was easy to read once you knew how to pick up on her body language, and she didn't just have the hots for this mystery man, she actually liked him. And the fact that he was probably a model meant that he was probably swoon worthy.

"Well.....you did promise me that I would get to stare at hot models. It was a prominent selling point of me deciding to interview for this job," I teased. "Oh, shit, I guess you probably should get me all dressed up before I go to meet Suzanna. Are you ready to torture me now?"

"You have to ask?" she smirked.

She got entirely too much entertainment from dressing people up, and I thought it was hilarious that she somehow managed to make a good living doing it. If I could only make a living with my words, like I had always wanted to, my life would feel a bit more complete, but right now, I would settle for a paycheck and some self-respect.

I stood up from my chair and Alice walked over towards the door, flashing me an excited grin as she walked into the hallway. Ever since high school, I had been her favorite guinea pig, she was always trying to cram me into the latest fashion trends. She led me down to the elevator, which only had a few people in it, and luckily James had vanished since I saw him last. That man made me want to kick him so hard that it would make his grandparents sterile.

Then I remembered that Alice's new boy toy also worked in her building, and I wondered if we would run into him on the way there. I was dying to find out who this guy was. If she was giving out the title of 'best sex I've ever had', he had to be gorgeous, it was like a given.

"So, Al..." I said, nudging her with my elbow and trying to keep my voice low. "Does Mr. Big Wig Sex God take this elevator too? I wouldn't mind seeing who you keep yourself occupied with."

I winked at her, and the smile fell from her face. He must be someone she has the possibility of running into, or it wouldn't make her this nervous. I wondered why she has been so secretive about him, I mean, she told me he's not married, so I don't see why she needs to be so stealthy about her bedroom activities. She has known every intimate detail about my sex life since we were seventeen, although, I wasn't exactly enjoying it until I was twenty.

"I'll never give that information away, Bella. You're fighting a losing battle. Nice try though." she said as the doors to the elevator opened.

Alice was trying to play it smooth, but I could tell that somehow her relationship with this guy was something she didn't ever want me to find out about. I knew that he was probably just a harmless warm body she sought out for comfort, but curiosity always got the best of me, I would figure this out eventually, I was sure of it.

She grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the all too familiar wardrobe and designer samples corridor, which was filled with various staging rooms.

"Oh come on Alice, please!" I said begging profusely. How else was I going to live vicariously through someone else's sexcapades if I couldn't put a face on her mystery man.

She simply shook her head no, and pushed me into the large professional women's wear samples closet. I had never actually been in this particular room, but it looked just like the one I had been forced into in college. I absentmindedly began running my hands along the various fabrics of the items on the rack closest to the door. I knew that Alice spent a lot of time in these rooms, and if I was actually concerned with what I wore half the time, I cold definitely see the appeal.

It was filled with clothing that was held on built in racks that went from floor to ceiling. If I actually had a desire to dress in designer clothing everyday, this place would be fashion Mecca, but somehow, I still couldn't get excited about being squeezed into trendy clothing made entirely out of artificial fibers. I liked my cotton and linen suits from Banana Republic, they were comfortable.

Although, if I wanted to enact that little naught librarian fantasy Edward told me about one night when we were drunk in college, maybe this was the place to start looking……

"Ok, fine, I'll drop it, for now," I said as she began to pull down clothing and shove it into my arms.

"My god Al, how much stuff are you going to make me try on? Won't Suzanna actually want to see me sometime today?"

"Bella, trust me. I'll know it when I see it. Until then get your ass into gear and try some of those things on. I promise, you won't be late. Changing the subject, how did your plan go last night? Did you tell Edward about sloppy Joe and his indecent proposal?"

I quickly stepped behind a rolling rack and plopped the growing pile of clothing to the floor at my feet. Groaning at the size of the pile I would inevitable have to sift through, I began to formulate my plan of attack.

I knew the drill, these places didn't have dressing rooms, because the only people running around half naked in this place were models, and god knows they aren't opposed to being naked around strangers. Thank god I actually thought ahead and wore some decent underwear. At least Rose wasn't here this time, getting chastised for my choice in underwear in front of interns at a fashion magazine was just downright embarrassing.

I responded to Alice as I started unbuttoning my blouse.

"Well, he was asleep when I got home, and I was still a little tipsy so I quietly stumbled into the closet and changed into the naughty lacy babydoll," I said, picking up the first camisole she had thrown on the pile. It was light pink and made of a really soft satin material.

"I must have woken him up, because he was grumbling about something when I got to the bed. I brought the napkin out with me and smacked it down on his chest as I climbed into bed."

I was half stumbling around the small area I was changing in, and I grabbed onto the rack to support me as I freed my leg from my pants, and it began to roll forward.

_No, no, no, not again!_

"Shit," I exclaimed, as the rack slid further away from me and I lost my balance, tumbling to the floor over the stack of clothing.

"I see you haven't lost that endearing quality, you alright?"

I had always hated being accident prone and klutzy, but even with practice and careful planning, I had never fully grown out of it. Most of the time I could function normally, but then put me near tight clothing or high heels, and my self inflicted injures were a given.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said as Alice helped me get to my feet.

I blushed furiously as I realized I was now standing in the middle of the room, no rack to block me wearing only a pink camisole and white lacy boy shorts. I always had been one to put myself in embarrassing situations, but this was ridiculous.

I could have sworn I saw a tall, scantily clad blond guy walk by and laugh at me, and my face turned a whole new shade of red.

"Does this monstrosity have wheel locks?" I asked motioning to the rack as I pulled it back in front of me.

Alice laughed, and bent down to secure the wheels into place and motioned for me to continue with my story before she went back to rummaging through the racks of clothing with a very determined look on her face.

"Ok, so, Edward sat up in bed and read the napkin, and then his face turned red and he groaned 'what the hell is this, Bella?' So I laughed and told him that a guy propositioned me to join him in his hotel for the week. Then he looked back and forth between me and the napkin, and then he threw it on the floor." I told her as I pulled on an ivory pencil skirt that hit right above my knees, and tucked the camisole into it.

The matching jacket was still in the pile, so I pulled it on over the camisole and stepped out and motioned for Alice to give me her appraisal before I continued.

"Bella, I think you found it, but here, try this camisole, I'm not sure about that color with your skin tone. I can't believe you gave him the note. What happened after that, did he get upset?" she asked as she threw a new camisole at me.

I took the dark blue silky camisole out of her hands and disappeared behind the rack once more to pull off the jacket and switch the camisoles. I had to admit, this high fashion suit was actually pretty hot. Definitely didn't give off the middle aged soccer mom vibe that the BanRep suits did.

"Well, he just sort of sat there staring at me for a moment, obviously seething, and then he lunged at me and pulled himself on top of me. Let's just say, I fell asleep last night an exhausted, satisfied wife. And when he got up this morning before he left for the hospital, he attacked me again and then whistled during his entire shower. I have a feeling that my dry spell has ended." I said smiling, as I pulled the jacket back over my shoulders and walked to where Alice was waiting. Just remembering the look of fire behind his eyes as he jumped me last night was enough to make me shudder.

My sex life with Edward had always been satisfying, but I could only hope that the frequency would remain constant. I hated having to set my sexual behavior to his mood swings. It was like I constantly had to be ready to jump into bed at a moments notice, and it was thoroughly frustrating.

She clapped her hands excitedly together as she appraised the outfit and grabbed me by the arm. I think that she was more excited about the clothes than hearing the details of my erratic sex life.

"Alice, where are you taking me now, don't I have to meet Suzanna soon?" I exclaimed as she dragged me out into the hallway.

I pulled her to a stop once I realized that my original clothes were still left in there as well as a gigantic pile of clothing on the floor. She was always trying to get rid of my 'boring' clothing, and I had a feeling I wouldn't be seeing that outfit again.

"Wait, my clothes, and the mess. Don't we need to clean that up?"

"That's what the interns are for; I did my fair share of cleaning this place up." Alice grinned tugging me further down the hall. "As for your clothes, I think this outfit is a fair trade anyway. Now I want your opinion of Jasper. I seriously think I have lost my mind."

"Alice I don't have any shoes on," I whined as she dragged me towards the other end of the floor, where the photography studios were located. "Do you want me to see this god of a man barefoot?"

"I know the perfect shoes that'll go with that ensemble. Jimmy Choo just sent us samples of his newest line. Stay!"

I did as Alice directed and stood there barefoot; waiting leaned up against a wall in the hallway. I could see people moving around behind one of the studio doors that was propped open. I could have sworn that I saw Scarlett Johansson talking to someone as she walked by the open door. But what would _she_ be doing in Seattle? And if it was her, I could only hope she brought her yummy husband with her.

Alice's squealing brought me out of my shameless daydreams about a shirtless Ryan Reynolds as she trotted down the hallway with a pair of ivory peep toe shoes, with a dangerously high heel on them.

"Are you trying to kill me today?" I said sarcastically as she approached me with a shit eating grin on her face.

"You should have this down, Bella. How many times have I put you in heels?" she asked as she bent down to put the heels on the floor. I stepped into them and did a little curtsy just to amuse her. "See you look perfect."

She did have a point, her and Rosalie had forced me into every pair of heels they could find when we were in college, and I think it was really just their plan to get Edward to catch me during my clumsy moments.

"Fine, I guess I'll survive. Now where is this blonde piece of.....um...._model_, that you want me to see?" I asked, flashing her a huge smile.

From the sound of him, I was sure he would have Alice mumbling with a stream of drool coming out of her mouth as she tried to introduce us.

"Too late," Alice said under her breath. "Suzanna, this is Bella, the writer I was telling you about."

Just as I was about to protest, a tall slender brunette wearing a high collared dark green long sleeved blouse with full sleeves, and a fitted herringbone knee length skirt with a wide waist band and a swing pleat down the front, approached us with her hand outstretched towards me.

Her features were very striking, she was definitely of eastern European descent, and she definitely fit in perfectly in the _Couture_ world, she was gorgeous.

Her hair was just past shoulder length and a much darker shade of auburn tinted brown than my own, and her eyes were slightly almond shaped and a dark shade of hazel. She had high cheekbones and pouty full lips. She smiled warmly at me and I pulled myself out of my awkward appraisal of this woman. If I ever wanted to hop the proverbial fence, Suzanna would be an obvious candidate.

I blushed and shook her hand firmly, a trick I had learned from Charlie. The quickest way to a professional's good graces were through a firm handshake and lots of eye contact.

"It's nice to meet you Suzanna. I only hope my work holds up to what Alice has told you about me."

I looked over to Alice who was smiling widely, and she began to turn to walk away, leaving me in the middle of the hallway with Suzanna. She half turned back and opened her mouth to say something.

"Suzanna has a treat for you Bella; it certainly won't be the conventional interview. Come find me when you're finished."

I waved goodbye to Alice, and Suzanna grabbed me by the hand and led me towards the studio door that was closest to us. Alice's cryptic comment was making me nervous and I could only hope that I wouldn't do or say something embarrassing.

Once we entered the door, there were a flurry of people moving around the dimly lit space. To the right was a staging area filled with racks of clothing, and various tables filled with accessories and products. Directly in front of us was a large well-lit area filled with fancy looking camera equipment and a stark white backdrop. Off to the left side was a seating area with two armchairs and a chaise lounge.

There was a blonde woman perched on the chaise wearing a bathrobe who had her back faced towards us. To her right, in one of the armchairs, there was a very serious looking woman with short brown hair who was furiously writing in a tiny notepad with a tape recorder on her lap.

Before we got to them, Suzanna stopped me, and turned around to face me with a very serious look on her face.

"Ok, Bella, I know this may seem unorthodox, but this job is anything from ordinary. Basically, you will be in charge of writing book reviews for our readers in each issue. Every issue, there is a feature cover celebrity. This month we have Scarlett Johansson, who just happens to be in the studio this afternoon for her shoot," she said motioning to the seating area behind her. So it _was_ her.

"Normally I would be the one sitting in on the interviews with the A-list celebrities, but as a test, I want you to sit in on the interview and then get her opinions on a book that she has read recently." She smiled at me warmly, and then began to turn towards the seating area.

Once I realized what she was asking me to do, my heart began to race and I tried to focus so I wouldn't start squealing. I had never met a celebrity before and I was afraid I would turn into a mumbling pile of goo. At least it was a woman, I don't think I could handle it if I had to interview a male celebrity, especially not a good looking one.

I couldn't believe that this was actually happening, my first day, before she had even interviewed me for the job, I was already being thrown into an interview with a celebrity. Seriously, these kinds of things just didn't happen to me, plain Bella, housewife Bella.

Suzanna must have sensed my hesitation, because before we got there, she turned around, walked back to me and whispered in my ear.

"Bella, I have a feeling about you, Alice doesn't just recommend anyone. Just sit in and I will stand back here and watch. Celebrities are not that scary, they are just like you and me. Just act natural and talk to her like she is a normal person." She looked into my eyes and grabbed me by the shoulders.

"Seriously Bella, go, just sit down and introduce yourself, Maddy will give you a transcript of the interview and you can use it in your piece. You can do this."

I smiled weakly at her and took a few deep breaths before I walked over to the empty armchair. My head was going to erupt soon if I didn't calm down, so I closed my eyes briefly trying to center myself before I tripped over something big and sprawled across the floor in front of a movie star.

Maddy, the staff reporter writing the Scarlett feature looked up to me and had a puzzled look on her face, until Suzanna cleared her throat. Then she smiled and motioned for me to sit.

Scarlett was in the process of talking about her most recent project, which had brought her to Seattle. Her voice was just as unique as it sounded on screen, and she seemed like a fairly friendly person. It was nice to see someone so beautiful not be totally full of themselves. The only other person I had ever met who was able to pull it off was Rosalie.

When she finished, Maddy started to talk.

"Ok Scarlett, this is our literary critic…."

"Isabella Cullen," I interjected.

"Right, Isabella Cullen, she will be asking you a few questions about your reading preferences for our book reviews section."

"Hello Ms. Cullen," Scarlett said, extending her hand out to mine.

"It's nice to meet you Ms. Johansson," I said nervously as I shook her hand firmly.

"Please, just Scarlett," she said, leaning back against the chaise.

"Bella," I responded, smiling widely at her casual demeanor.

"Ok, Bella, ask away."

I thought briefly on how to word the question and then responded; trying to sound confident, even though my heart beat was drowning out everything at this point. _Come on Bella, man up! Wait, I'm not a man, oh just screw it....._

"What book is in your carry on luggage right now? And how long has it been there?"

"Well…the most recent book is The Queen's Fool by Phillipa Gregory. I picked it up in an airport a few weeks ago, but with the filming schedule I am still on chapter three."

"So do you normally read the books that the screenplays of your movies are based on?"

"Very good Bella, and if I have time, yes. I read The Other Boelyn Girl before I even knew that a script was being adapted. I have always been fascinated by Henry VIII. He could definitely give some men in Hollywood a run for their money," she said laughing.

The Queen's Fool was a recent addition to my own book collection, and I loved the story of Hannah the Fool. It was a long and powerful journey of self-discovery, and it didn't hurt that she had a constant inner monologue going about what guy she was having dirty thoughts about, I could definitely relate.

"I'm sure he could. So, speaking of men in Hollywood….What types of books does Ryan typically read? Do you have any similar tastes?"

Ryan Reynolds, Scarlett Johansson's new husband was often brought up in interviews with her, but she was very secretive about their relationship. I was hoping that she might open up and share something. That would definitely be something I knew that _Couture_ readers would be interested in, because I sure was.

Just thinking about Ryan Reynolds made me want to drool…..I remembered watching Blade Trinity with Alice and Rose when we were in college, and seeing him shirtless in leather pants made me want to reach out and lick his abs, and then.......maybe remove the leather pants......

_I wonder if Scarlett would mind…….?_

"Well, normally I don't like to talk about my husband with reporters, but we do have somewhat similar tastes. He tend to read more action adventure and war themed books, like most men do, but occasionally, when he gets a really good script based on a novel, he will read it as well, just to help him get into character. His projects have varied largely in the past couple of years, but he has been cast in several romantic comedies in years past."

I smiled, and she returned it, even though it was only a small glimpse into their relationship. The way she talked about him reminded me of my own husband. This wasn't just any other Hollywood couple. The look on her face meant that she actually liked thinking about him.

_I wonder what he looks like in the morning….No! Bad Bella, you are married to Edward remember? Oh Edward…..mmmmmm….._

"Well, thank you for your time Scarlett, I hope you keep reading the Phillipa Gregory novels, they are all very good character studies of the time period. I'll let you get back to your interview now."

I reached out and shook her hand again. Adrenaline was coursing through my veins and I felt confident that even though I only asked a few questions, judging by the look on Suzanna's face, she was impressed.

After we said our goodbyes, and Maddy continued her interview, I stood up and walked back over to Suzanna.

She grabbed me by the arm and dragged me back outside of the studio, grinning the entire time. I could feel the energy radiating off of her and I was thankful that I had somehow pulled it off.

"Bella, if it wasn't for formalities, I would offer you the job now. That was amazing, you didn't even act nervous. The last reviewer I had almost had a panic attack during her first interview. Nicely done, I'm impressed."

"Um, Thanks?" I said, having no idea how I managed to do that so well. Normally I was terrified to draw attention to myself.

Suzanna started to walk towards the elevator, and I followed close after. My mind was racing and I was glad that I finally decided to pull myself off the couch and go after something, it was empowering. Now I understand why Alice gets this dreamy look in her eyes after she does something satisfying at work.

We made our way back to the twentieth floor and into Suzanna's office. I could tell that she was a busy woman, and seriously organized, because every single stack in her office was neatly arranged and had a pink post-it label on the top. I could only assume that she suffered from the same perfectionist disease that I did.

I was two steps away from OCD, but I guess growing up in a house without order makes a girl kinda crave it. And, hanging out with my Stepfordite mother in law seemed to be a good influence, that woman even organized Carlisle's sock drawer by type and color.

"Have a seat Bella," she said, motioning to a chair in front of her desk as she walked around it and sat down.

"For formalities sake, I do need to see a writing sample. Did you have one prepared?"

My briefcase was lying on the floor of Alice's office, and I began to panic. I had totally forgot to bring it with me, and I couldn't believe that I had been so absentminded. I grinned awkwardly and blushed, and Suzanna noticed. I really was that obvious, sadly enough.

"That's fine Bella; you can give it to me later today if you need to."

"It's in Alice's office," I responded. "We left my things in there before we headed downstairs."

"That's perfectly fine; just get it to me after lunch. Alice also has some papers for you to fill out for the human resources department. Would you like a tour of where you will be working?"

"You mean hypothetically?" I said, since she technically hadn't offered me the job yet.

"Bella, stop worrying, after I read your sample, which I am sure will be wonderful, the job is yours. You would actually be doing me a favor; I need someone who isn't straight out of an undergraduate English program with no real life experience. Our readers like to read something written by someone who can relate to them."

"Ok, I think I can do that," I said confidently. This day just kept getting better and better. "So, a tour?"

Suzanna ushered me from the room and proceeded to give me a tour of the staff writer's cubicles. There were a few editors who had offices, but for the most part, the regular writers were placed in a large area filled with cubicles and lots of laptop computers.

She explained my job a little further, led me back to Alice's office and excused herself for lunch.

Alice was still down at the studio, so I sat in her office and waited until she returned. I got up after a few minutes and wandered around, looking at the pictures and page layouts scattered on various surfaces around her office.

There was a missed call memo on her desk, and it had Jacob's cell phone number written on it. _Strange._ Although, he had asked about her when we talked the other day, maybe he was just checking in. They were friends too, nothing suspicious about that.

"Hey Bells, how did it go?" Alice's cheery voice startled me as I turned towards the door, probably looking like I had just gotten caught looking at porn. I knew she wouldn't mind about me looking through her stuff, but I hated it when she snuck up on me.

"Actually it went really well. I got to ask Scarlett Johansson about books, it was surreal. Why didn't you warn me?"

"Wait? She actually let you talk to her?" she said sounding surprised. I guess Suzanna wasn't lying when she said she normally didn't let the new critics talk to the celebrities.

"I only asked a few questions Al, it really wasn't that involved."

She squealed and pulled me up from my chair. I made sure to grab my briefcase before I was dragged out the door.

"We have to go somewhere fun to celebrate Bella. You totally rocked that interview if she let you talk to Scarlett."

An hour, lots of squealing, rapid talking from Alice, and half a dozen California rolls later, we returned to the office. Apparently, Alice had gotten to spend some one on one time with the hot blond model while she was in the studio, and it had definitely turned into a full-blown crush.

_Jasper_ was apparently the best looking and friendliest model she had come into contact with, and I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. There had to be something wrong with him if he was gorgeous and down to earth, those kinds of things just didn't happen, especially not in the cut throat world of modeling.

The rest of the day was a blur. I went back and talked to Suzanna in her office. She read over my reading sample and loved it. It was an essay I had written comparing classical authors such as Jane Austen to contemporary historical fiction writers. She said it was surprisingly funny, and held a crisp interpretation of historical fiction.

After filling out lots of papers in the Human Resources office down a few floors, the job was officially mine. By the time I got back to my tiny, bare cubicle, the day was over, and I was flying high.

Not only did I have a job, but it was a really interesting one, and I was excited to get to see Alice everyday. We didn't get to spend nearly enough time together, and I felt like my life had taken a turn for the better.

The only thing that even worried me about this job was how Edward was going to take the fact that I was now a full time employee. That was the one thing that Alice had failed to mention to me, but I wasn't going to turn down this opportunity. I needed this job for me, to get back to the Bella I once was.

Alice would be coming over on Sunday, and we would spring the news on him. I was afraid that he would get angry, but he really wasn't one to get angry over things that were good for me. His anger was usually reserved for being overprotective and jealous. Two qualities that had recently reemerged in my passionate husband.

My phone vibrating in my briefcase startled me as I settled down in the swivel chair at my new desk in my new cubicle. It felt good to acknowledge it, even if the only thing on my desk was a docking station to a computer I hadn't been assigned yet.

I looked down to the caller ID and cursed my luck. _Edward Cell._

_Shit!_

I knew I was going to get caught.

"Hey baby," I said quietly, hoping that the quiet lull of everyone enjoying their after lunch food comas would persist. The last thing I needed was for him to know I was lying when he asked about my whereabouts, I really was a horrible actress. At least he wouldn't be able to see my telltale blush to call me out on it.

"Hello love, how is your day going so far?" he asked sweetly, ah, Edward is in a good mood today.

"Good, I just finished cleaning up the kitchen, Bailey is off playing in the backyard. I, um, was just about to sit down and get back to work on my next chapter," I lied shamelessly. I knew I couldn't tell him about my potential new job over the phone, I needed backup.

"Oh, alright I won't keep you long," he said thoughtfully. "I was just thinking maybe we could go out to dinner tonight, just the two of us. I should done with my rounds by six and then I can head home."

Thank god, at least I would make it home first. He would definitely know something was up if he caught me in my new suit. He knew how much I hated wearing designer clothing, it would be a red flag.

"That sounds great hun, I guess I'll make sure to be ready by seven, is that alright?"

"Sounds perfect love, oh, hold on," he said, followed by a long pause. I could hear muffled voices in the background and figured that he was probably being consulted for something at the hospital. "Well, I have to go, I am getting ready to scrub in, Carlisle will kill me if I am tardy. I love you Bella, I'll see you at home."

"Love you too, have fun," I said before I clicked my phone closed.

_Phew!_

I had managed to get through it without having to tell too many lies. Well, I was going to tell him, just not until Sunday, I needed to keep this to myself for a few days and enjoy it. I deserved it after being exiled to laundry purgatory for the last year.

At a quarter after five, I called Alice's cell to see if she was still in the building, but it went straight to voicemail, and her office door was locked when I went to check myself. It seemed that at exactly five o'clock, on the dot, the building cleared out, especially on Fridays.

I rode the elevator down to the main lobby by myself, but when I stepped out of the doors, I ran into a familiar face, literally.

"Jacob?"

"Hey Bells, what are you doing here?"

"Well, I work at _Couture_ now; Alice got me a job as a literary critic."

"Wow Bells, that's awesome. Good for you. A suit looks much better on you than that outfit you had on yesterday," he replied with a wink.

I laughed and shook my head at him, and then it hit me, I knew of a perfect way to get back in touch with Jacob, and for him to see some of our old friends.

_Rosalie's Baby Shower._

"So Jake, do you have any plans for the Sunday after next?"

"Well, I have a huge project for the magazine I'm working on, but no I don't have any plans set in stone, why?"

"Edward and I are hosting a Baby Shower for Rosalie and Emmett at our house that afternoon and I would really like it if you could come."

"Baby Shower?"

"Oh, wait, no, I phrased that wrong, I am having a Baby Shower. Edward and Emmett are having a 'manly cookout' in the backyard for all of the husbands and boyfriends. Do you want to come? I know there will be a lot of alumni from the house going."

Rose had originally wanted to make Emmett come to the shower, but then he had whined about how being exposed to that much estrogen and small clothing would decrease his sperm count or something disgusting like that, and he had convinced Edward to use our backyard for a cookout/fraternity house reunion. Em would make any excuse possible to play with a grill and drink beer. Then add multiple rowdy former fraternity jocks to the mix, and he would be in his element.

"I could make an appearance. My busy schedule could be rearranged to catch up with some of the guys. So who else will I know at the party?"

"Well, you know Rosalie and Alice, and then there will be some of Rosalie's sorority sisters. We will be spending the day indoors with much more sophisticated foods. I'm sure you probably won't even see us."

"Alice Brandon will be there?" he asked with a goofy grin on his face.

_What the hell is with him, since when has Alice been his BFF?_

"Yeah, she _is_ my best friend, and she was in Rosalie's sorority," I said, giving him a questioning look.

First, he calls her at work, leaving his personal cell number, then he asks me about her twice, I wonder what his deal is. Maybe they are better friends than I thought.

He stood there contemplating for a while and then a huge smile spread across his face.

"I'll be there, here take this, email me directions to your new house. Let me know if I need to bring anything," he said shoving a business card into my hand.

"That's great Jake, I'm sure the guys will be excited to see you. Well, I guess I should get home before Edward starts to wonder where I am."

"Yeah, I should go too, I have to go get some wine for my date tonight."

"Date huh? Go you!"

Jacob had been perpetually single since college, I think that I had been his main focus for most of our sophomore year, and I hated that he wasted time trying to pursue me. He was truly a nice guy, and I could only hope that he would finally find someone to settle down with. Once you got to know him, he was fiercely protective and would do anything for his friends.

We gave each other a hug and headed towards the parking garage together.

When I pulled myself into my little silver Volvo, I thought about how wonderfully this day had turned out. My life had definitely taken a turn for the better, and I could feel that the luck of Bella Cullen had turned around. _Now to get home to that sexy husband of mine……_

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A/N: So let us know what you think ladies and gentleman (yes I meant for it to be singular, you know who you are)…..**

**Reviews are better than imagining Ryan Reynolds shirtless in leather pants battling vampires…..ok, so no they're not…..but they are still pretty freaking awesome….. **


	7. Diapers, Dancing Hamsters & Double Enten

**Disclaimer: We don't own Twilight, but we do like socks…..just not washing them…..although, washing socks for sex **_**was**_** the inspiration for this story…..so…**

**A/N: You people are seriously more and more kinds of awesome everyday….I love coming home from class, smelling like metal, and checking my emails and seeing all of your alerts and reviews. We are already at over 100 alerts for this story!!!  
**

**Nostalgicmiss and I love sending emails back and forth gushing about how wonderful you all are…..:)**

**On a side note, just because I love you all and because it's my birthday and I can do what I want to......you are getting two extra installments of SFS this week!!! Just remember to send us some love.....;)**

**Oh, and a special shoutout to Ashel-13, because her birthday was yesterday.....Happy Birthday!  
**

**Enjoy!  
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Diapers, Dancing Hamsters & Double Entendres**

**BPOV**

The last week of my life has been a welcome change to my dreary existence, and I only have Alice to thank for my good fortune. She always has seemed to have the magic touch when it came to turning my life around, and I love that little pixie, even if she does enjoy torturing me for her own amusement.

My interview at _Couture_ could not have gone better, and this week has been filled with exciting and long hours in the office. Suzanna didn't even hesitate to throw me into the midst of things, and I still can't believe that she let me sit in on that interview between the features writer and Scarlett Johansson.

My job is actually fairly easy, and seeing as I am an avid reader, and well versed in witty prose, it doesn't even seem like I should be getting paid to do it. My official title is _Couture _Literary Critic, and my job is to read popular women's novels and then review them for the average _Couture_ reader. I also have to feature a book that is recommended by the feature celebrity in the current issue.

I have spent most of my week curled up in my tiny cubicle on the twentieth floor, either reading over the novels to be featured in this month's issue, or going over my notes, trying to decipher my opinions before typing up my reviews.

In between all of these things, I have secretly been adding more and more to Paige and Jonathan's story, and Suzanna has actually peeked her head over my cubicle wall on her way to and from her office, commenting on how she loves my work ethic, which is just way too funny to me.

If she really knew that I was writing scenes of a torrid love affair involving graphic depictions of unbridled passion that would make Harlequin novel writer's blush, then she might not have the same opinion on my work ethic. I still can't believe some of the things that have flowed out of my fingers onto my keyboard, which I am sure will all end up being edited out if I finish this damn novel, but still, my mind is rooted in the gutter these days.

Edward was actually fairly understanding about my decision to take the job, although it did take slight convincing when Alice came over to dinner on Sunday night. Also, it probably helped that I was in a superb mood all weekend, and he got more sex than he could have ever bargained for after our romantic dinner out on Friday night. If Alice only knew what we had done on the kitchen table a few hours before she came over…..

* * *

"_Edward, Alice and I need to talk to you about something," I said cautiously, eyeing Alice who was bouncing in her chair across the table from me._

_Edward glanced between the two of us, and a knowing look spread across his face as he realized that we were conspiring about something. Whenever Alice and I had conspired about something in the past, he was powerless against us, and he knew it._

"_Alright Bella, what would you like to talk to me about?"_

"_Well, Edward, you know how I went to see Alice at the office on Friday?"_

"_Yes," he responded, his brow furrowed in confusion. _

_Alice was smiling in his direction and I could tell she was bursting with excitement about what I was getting ready to tell him._

"_While I was there, I met with one of Alice's colleagues, and I was offered a position with Couture."_

_Before he could respond, Alice began to bombard him with comments. _

"_Edward, Bella is perfect for the job, seriously, she is actually too good for it, but Suzanna loved her personality and she begged for her to take the position when she read one of Bella's writing samples."_

_Edward carefully glanced between the two of us, and took a deep breath before he turned to me to respond._

"_Bella, you know that I wanted you to stay home until we found out my residency assignment," he began and I could feel my face fall in disappointment. I couldn't believe that he would actually deny me the experience of taking a position in a major publication._

_After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, and dirty looks aimed in his direction from Alice, he spoke again._

"_But, if you really think that this position is something that you want to do, then I don't know how I can tell you no. I just hope that it doesn't keep you in the office too much, my exam is in a few days, and then I will be able to spend a little more time at home during the evenings."_

_Alice and I both squealed loudly and jumped up from the table simultaneously to hug him. _

"_Ok, ok, I get it, you can eat your food now, just no more squealing, my ears will never recover," he laughed as we returned to our seats._

* * *

The rest of the night, Alice chatted cheerfully about her work in the office, interspersed with her asking Edward about the hospital and his fellow interns. I cringed internally when she asked about Tanya, but Edward just answered her honestly telling her that she was just a study buddy. Alice and I exchanged a glance that said, 'yeah, maybe on your part'.

After telling Edward about the creepy guy at the bar, he hasn't been able to keep his hands off me, and we have had sex almost every day since then. My attire coming home from work has only seemed to fuel him, because he can't keep his hands off me when I am wearing heels and a skirt. I don't know what it is about him and his affinity for the studious professional type, but I actually laughed hysterically when he asked me to wear my reading glasses during one of our more adventurous romps on the coffee table in the living room.

Today is Sunday, and it's time for Rosalie's baby shower. She is already almost eight months along, and she looks like she could pop at any moment. I am so excited to get to meet my little nephew, I'm sure he will be a spitting image of his daddy, but I am secretly hoping he's a blond.

Edward woke up two hours ago and is on a trip to Costco with Emmett to stock up on Barbecue supplies, and I have been delaying getting out of bed, because I hate being the hostess. It just draws more attention to me than I would like, but, if I am going to be a true Cullen wife, I have to suck it up and be the perfect event planner and implementer.

Esme has always thrown lavish parties, and she basically planned our entire wedding along with Alice. She is the epitome of a perfect wife, mother, and business woman, and even though she has always been extremely nice to me, I somehow feel as if I will never measure up. I will never be witty enough in a large group of people, and even though I am a perfectionist, I secretly curse having to plan activities for fear that I will screw them up entirely.

Throwing on my bathrobe, I wandered downstairs to grab a bite to eat before I trudged back upstairs for my shower.

"Crap!" I grunted as my toe hooked into another one of Bailey's stray toys, and I stumbled, grabbing onto the wall for support.

_That dog's toys are going to be the death of me someday, I just know it. _

Bailey jumped up and stretched herself against my legs as she yawned. She is always using me as a stretching post, but she is too cute and I can't yell at her for it. At least she has finally figured out not to come near me in my work clothes.

"Hey baby," I cooed as I reached down to rub her back.

She responded by licking me on the nose and jumping down as I headed towards the stairs.

Thank god I spent every spare moment after work this week cleaning this house, because it was still somewhat tidy. Esme is a neat freak, and I feel like a slob whenever she comes over, even though I still vacuum once or twice a week, and compulsively do the dishes every night. At least she is in Milwaukee for Carlisle's conference, or I would have had to wake up at the crack of dawn to make sure everything was perfect, and then I still would have gotten at least one pointed remark, she really can't help herself sometimes.

I still remember the whole debacle at the wedding where she found out that Renee was calling her General Cullen behind her back. I seriously thought that I was going to have to plan a funeral for the next day. To say that the tension during the after ceremony family photos was palpable, was an understatement, at least we had Emmett there to run interference.

The house was still empty, but I could hear banging noises coming from the backyard. Edward and Emmett must be back from the store already.

I pulled my robe around my tiny nightgown a little tighter, and headed towards the door to the back patio.

"Hey," I said, as I pulled open the door to see Edward and Emmett waist deep in cardboard.

"Hey Bells," Emmett chimed as he trudged over to give me a hug. "We bought a new grill. It's badass, we are so gonna rock that thing this afternoon."

Sure enough, a brand new, shiny stainless steel grill was eclipsing the tiny old rusted one off to the side of it. Emmett always had the bad habit of encouraging my husband to buy the latest gadget, even if we didn't need it. Although, Edward was pretty good at keeping up with the latest trends himself, but his purchases tending to be more electronically inclined.

"Wow, that thing is huge," I said, smiling at my husband whose shirt was covered with packing debris. Even waist deep in cardboard and packing foam he still was the most handsome man I had ever seen. His unkempt bronze hair was darkened a little by his sweat, and he was looking at me with a crooked grin on his face.

"That's what she said!" Emmett boomed as he smacked Edward on the back.

"Are you ever gonna grow up Em?" I asked, looking at my older brother with distain. "You are going to turn your son into a pervert before he's even born if you don't stop saying things like that."

"Oh quit it Bells, you know I don't talk like that around Rosie, she would totally hit me over the head."

He was right, Rosalie never hesitated to pinch, or poke, or slap Emmett if he was embarrassing, but I still hoped that his inane comments would stop once he became a father. The last thing I needed was to have to explain to Rosalie why her son kept saying the 'f' word like it was a, an, or the.

"So when is she coming over?" I asked, she had been on bed rest for a few weeks, but she was finally cleared to get up and moving again.

"Um, I think her step mom is going to bring her over around noon. The guests are supposed to start arriving at one right?"

"Yeah, speaking of, it's already ten thirty, I need to get upstairs and shower so I can get all of the baby paraphernalia strung around the house."

I turned to go back through the kitchen to the stairs, but before I could get there, my waist was encircled with two strong arms, and I was startled by a warm set of lips on my neck.

"Hey love," Edward cooed in my ear as his hands moved around to the tie on my robe.

I giggled and leaned back against his sweaty chest. It always felt good to be held in his strong arms.

"I have to go shower. You don't want me to stink for our guests do you?" I asked as his lips trailed below the collar on my robe.

He groaned and released me; taking me by the hand and dragging me up the stairs.

"Edward, what are you doing?" I said, as I felt a blush creep into my cheeks.

He looked back at me with a mischievous grin on his face and replied, "Showering, I'm all sweaty."

"Edward, my brother is in the backyard," I protested as he pulled me into our bedroom and shut the door behind us.

"Em is fine, he still has to set the grill plates, that should keep him distracted for um….the next ten minutes or so," he said as he untied my robe and pushed it to the floor.

Since our lovemaking had become more frequent over the past week, I had taken to wearing satin night gowns to bed, because I was still uncomfortable sleeping totally naked, and Edward seemed to enjoy them.

"Mmmm…." He said as he stalked towards me; pulling his shirt over his head and dropping it to the floor. I blushed profusely as his gaze turned from playful to lust filled and hungry. His green eyes had darkened considerably, and I knew that I had reawakened a sex fiend monster in the past week.

"Beautiful," he murmured as his hands began to push the straps of the nightgown off of my shoulders.

He began to suck and lick at my neck and collarbone as he pushed the nightgown down further, revealing my breasts. I could feel the heat returning in between my legs, and as the silky material fell down, it scraped over my nipples, effectively waking them up.

He unbuttoned his jeans, but his mouth never left my body as he leaned down to remove his confinements. Nipping, sucking, licking, leaving a trail of moist fire across my neck and shoulders.

When he took one of my overly sensitive nipples into his mouth, I arched my back and moaned. He continued his assault on my neck, and he reached over and grabbed me by the waist, pulling me against him. I had closed my eyes when he started to kiss me, and apparently he had taken off his boxers along with his pants, because his erection was pressing directly into my abdomen.

He reached his hands in between my legs and rubbed me softly, spreading the moisture that had pooled there along my folds with his fingertips. I moaned softly at the contact, and my head rolled back as my breathing became more labored. Then, all of a sudden, he released me and turned towards the bathroom.

I groaned and pushed my bottom lip out into a pout as he turned back around.

"You coming, love? I'm not done with you yet." Edward said, holding his hand out to take mine. The look on his face was still filled with lust and determination, and I shivered with anticipation.

As he pulled me towards the bathroom, I laughed and replied, "Well, we wouldn't want to waste finite resources, now would we?"

He laughed as he pulled me into the oversized shower stall and turned on the two overhead showerheads. Warm water cascaded around our bodies, and before I could even say or do anything, Edward pinned me to the cool tile on the shower wall and began to run his hands and mouth over my entire body.

As the steam began to swirl around us, my mind was clouded and I leaned back, letting the familiar sense of warmth overtake my body, as the ache for him increased tenfold. I rubbed my legs together, seeking some sort of friction, but nothing was working, I needed him, and soon.

It didn't take me long to get excited, so I pulled him back towards me and attached my lips to his as he pulled me up and wrapped my legs around his waist. He was hard and throbbing, pressed up against my wetness and I moaned as I rocked my hips against him.

His eyes met mine, filled with passion, begging for permission, and I kissed him again, wildly assaulting his tongue with my own as he plunged into me. We both groaned as the sensation, and I could never get over the feeling of him filling me completely. We had been together hundreds of times, but every single time was like the first. The heat, the spark of electricity flowing from where our bodies were joined, I had never experienced anything else so intense.

Usually he didn't waste his time when we did things like this in the shower, but the pace that he set was excruciatingly slow as he placed light kisses along my hairline and down to my neck. Slowly pulling out, feeling every inch of him sliding along me, and then he would plunge back in and I could feel every ridge along every inch of him rubbing inside of me, creating a glorious friction.

"I love you Bella," he whispered as he pressed me into the cool tile, gripping tightly to my hips.

"Mmmm, I love you too," I moaned as his pace quickened slightly, increasing the tension building in my abdomen. He gripped my hips more tightly as he plunged in and out of me, his fingers digging into my wet skin, adding a dull sense of pain to all of the pleasure he was creating.

My mind was swimming as his hand left my hip and came down in between us. He softly ran his finger over my bundle of nerves and I jerked back, slamming my head against the tile. His long fingers were running teasing circles around my clit, making it throb as I tried to shift myself so he was touching it fully.

He chuckled softly and continued rubbing as I tightened my legs around him and moaned. He continued to tease me, and then all of a sudden, he dragged his teeth along my shoulder and simultaneously pinched me right where I had been aching for him to.

After a few seconds, my body was enveloped in fiery sensations as my walls clenched down around him, milking him as my orgasm spun out of control. He grunted in response and his head fell down to my shoulder as he pushed into me faster.

"Come for me baby," I whispered into his ear, lightly sucking on the lobe. I was whimpering and moaning against him as I came down from my high, as he was assaulting my tender flesh with each movement of his hips.

He thrust in a few more times before he came, releasing himself into me as a strangled moan rang out through the shower stall. His entire body was tense, and fell against mine, pushing me further into the cool, slick tile.

I was shocked, usually he pulled out before he came, and this time, he actually gripped onto my hips and pushed me onto him tighter beforehand. The sensation was amazing, I mean, he had gone inside of me before, but never with such force, I could feel him throb and pulse as he fell over the edge and it was enticing.

Once our breathing returned to normal, he helped me to my feet, and we continued our shower, washing each other as we basked in the afterglow. Ever since we had begun to make love more frequently, he was more tender, and his mood has improved greatly. His touch was almost reverent, as if he was rememorizing every curve and dimple on my body.

He stepped out of the shower as I was washing the shampoo out of my hair, and dried himself off, a goofy grin on his face the entire time, Once I was fully rinsed, I turned off the water and followed him out into the now steam filled bathroom.

"Mmmm, that was amazing Bella," he cooed in my ear as he helped me wrap my towel around me.

I giggled, and pulled him by the hand into our closet to pull out our outfits for the party.

Alice had taken me shopping in the magic closet, yet again, and she had found Edward some clothing as well.

The cookout was much less formal than the shower, she he was able to wear a pair of fashionably faded jeans that hung low on his waist, along with a form fitted black button up shirt with white embroidery on the pockets.

I, on the other hand, was forced to wear a tiny strapless plaid sundress, although Alice had reluctantly agreed to let me wear a cap sleeved sweater over it as long as I agreed to the towering heels she had picked out as well.

I grabbed our clothing from the hook on the back of the door, and Edward wrapped his arms around my waist as we walked out into the room to get changed.

It didn't take Edward long to get dressed, but he stared at me adoringly as I struggled to get the dress up over my breasts.

When I finished, his signature crooked smile crept up onto his lips as he came around to help me zip it up.

I could feel his hot breath on my neck as he slowly pulled up the zipper, and he kissed me sweetly on the nape of my neck, pushing my hair over one shoulder as he whispered in my ear.

"You look sexy, love, I can't wait to help you unzip this later," he said playfully, cupping my bottom with his hand.

"What has gotten into you this week?" I giggled as he sauntered over to the closet to retrieve his shoes.

Once he got them and sat down on the bench at the end of our bed, he smiled and laughed at me as I tried to buckle the straps on my death heels.

"Is it so wrong for a husband to enjoy the company of his wife?" He said innocently, as he walked over and opened the bedroom door, holding his hand out for me to take.

"No, but wow, you sure have been frisky lately," I giggled as I pulled on my sweater and followed him down the stairs, our fingers intertwined.

He stopped at the bottom of the stairs and turned around to face me.

"Oh believe me Bella, I intend to keep it up," he said winking, as he leaned down and kissed me sweetly on the lips.

I wound my hands into his damp hair, and just as I was about to intensify the kiss, the doorbell rang.

_Damn cockblocking doorbell….grrrr!._

I groaned, and he pulled back, kissing me on the cheek as he turned and walked towards the back of the house. When he was only a foot or so away, he turned around with a smirk on his face.

I raised an eyebrow at him quickly and he chuckled lightly and whispered in a dangerously low voice, "Oh, and love, I did intend for that to be a double entendre."

_Cocky Bastard….._

The doorbell rung once more as I reached down to turn the knob.

"Bella!" Alice cried as she embraced me in the doorway.

"Hey Al," I said, a genuine smile creeping onto my lips as I pulled away from her.

She grinned at me as she walked into the foyer, her arms filled with various bags. Alice had been involved with helping me get the shower organized this week, and she had been a huge help by getting all of the tiny little blue shower favors.

"You got laid, didn't you," she teased as she dropped the bags onto the floor.

Alice had something like a post coital radar, she always knew who was getting some. It had actually been pretty entertaining at lunch in high school when she use to try to figure out who was doing who. It really was too bad that she had overlooked her own boyfriend as part of the crowd who was diddling half the lunchroom. On the other hand, at least she was getting something besides awkward, gangly, three-minute sex in the back of a police cruiser in my driveway. Although, that only happened once, and it was more my idea than his.

I blushed profusely and tried to feign innocence, but she could see right through me. My cheeks were always my downfall; they never failed to give me away. Anyone who knew me knew that I was incapable of lying without blushing the color of a lobster.

She laughed out loud and pulled me towards the steps.

"Yeah, we totally need to do something about your sex hair," she said happily, motioning at my head as we reached the top of the steps.

Alice had always enjoyed playing dress up with me, and today was going to be no different. I could practically see the hamsters in her brain doing a little happy dance. There was nothing in the world Alice loved more than playing Barbie Bella, probably because I was the only one who ever tried to fight her, she always did love a good challenge.

"Well, technically, the sex came before I washed my hair," I said as she pulled me into the bathroom, and pushed me down onto the bench in front of the large vanity mirror.

I had spent many a night pushed onto this bench, which had once been in the bathroom of our first apartment together in college. Although, Esme had insisted on reupholstering it before she let me put it in our new home. She stole it from me mumbling something about low rent cooties or naked frat boys. Little did she know that one of those naked frat boys who had christened the bench was her innocent little son. She would probably want to have it redone if she knew that we broke in the new fabric a week after we moved in. Almost every surface in this home, including the hood of my new car, had been tainted during the first few months of our marriage.

"Yeah, well, please tell me you didn't use this counter," she said sarcastically as she began to pull out my various styling tools. She had spent hours helping me organize the bathroom when we moved in, so she knew exactly where everything was.

"Nope," I replied, popping on the 'p'. "Just don't go in the shower."

She laughed at me and began to run my brush through my hair before she turned on the blow dryer. I had long since given up trying to fight her, because well, she was Alice and she would get her way anyways, so I usually just sat back and let her primp me.

The doorbell rung frequently as we were upstairs, so I figured that the fraternity alumni had started arriving. The guys who still lived in Seattle had been invited, and since Rosalie didn't know most of their wives if they weren't from school, Edward told them to come over early so they could help get the cookout food ready.

At ten till noon, Alice and I wandered downstairs and began to set up the decorations, and I went into the kitchen to pull out the platters of horderves that I had picked up from the caterer after work yesterday.

I had replated everything though, because god forbid Esme know that I didn't actually prepare them. I normally would have, but with work this week, I figured I wouldn't have time, and I really hadn't.

Alice was happily hanging blue streamers from the fireplace when I noticed a familiar face in the backyard.

"Hey Al, I'm gonna go say hi to someone, I'll be right back," I called as I headed towards the sliding glass doors.

She nodded and continued her decorating as I snuck up on my friend and pinched his side.

"Hey!" Jacob said loudly, as he turned around and enveloped me in a large hug.

I grinned at him and hugged him back, being dwarfed in his ginormous frame.

"I'm so glad you came."

"Of course Bells, I do actually like spending time with you guys you know."

"Sooo…..how was your date earlier in the week?" I asked as his eyes got wide. I knew that look, it was either really good or really bad, so I wondered which it was.

"Um, it was ok, kinda strange, but good."

"Well, hopefully your next one will not be so strange."

"Yeah, hopefully," he said with a wistful look on his face, I could tell he didn't want to talk to me about it, so I dropped the subject.

"Well, I need to get back inside to help with the decorations, come find me before you leave," I said as I patted him on the hand and turned to go back inside.

The doorbell rang as I headed back inside, so I ran quickly to open it as Alice continued flitting around the room with all of the blue baby paraphernalia.

A very pregnant Rosalie stood on the other side of the door, along with her stepmother Claudia. Rosalie's father had remarried about six years ago after her mother had died. Claudia Whitlock was actually a very nice woman, even though she had the reputation of being a ball buster in the art world. She was a critic and wrote a column in the local arts and entertainment magazine.

"Hey hun!" I exclaimed as I took her hand and helped her through the door.

"Oh god Bella, your nephew is torturing me today," she huffed as I helped her sit down in an armchair in the living room.

"Well, don't worry, you don't need to lift a finger," I said as I took her purse and coat from her and hung them up in the closet. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Hmm…..some vodka would be nice?" she laughed as she settled back into the chair, propping her feet up on the coffee table.

"Very funny Rose, I don't think my little nephew would appreciate that right now," I replied, throwing her a wink.

She laughed again and asked me for some iced tea, so I politely excused myself to the kitchen to pour her a drink.

Jacob, Emmett, Edward and a few other men from the fraternity were throwing the football around in the backyard, and I paused briefly to admire the sight of the gorgeous men in the backyard running around. Too bad they all weren't shirtless, well, except for Em of course, because I had no desire to see my burly brother like that. It had been bad enough catching him in the act with Rosalie in college, more than once. The image of my brother's pale backside would forever be ingrained in my mind, much to my dismay.

Even though I had never harbored any romantic feelings for my friend Jacob, he was still a very attractive man, and I hoped that he would find a nice girl to settle down with. He would truly make some woman happy someday; he was a very loving and loyal man.

"Hey Bella, Rosalie's friend wants some iced tea as well," she said as she walked up to the kitchen island.

"Oh, that's not her friend, that's her step mom, Claudia Whitlock."

I was sure that Alice had met her before, at their wedding, but I guess she had been so wrapped up in James at the time that she had totally forgotten about it.

Alice's eyes widened and she nodded, saying "Oh, Whitlock, that's interesting."

_Did Alice just blush? That's a new one……_

We poured a few more iced teas and headed back into the living room to wait for the guests to start arriving. The decorations were adorable, and storks had become the prominent theme in my living room décor.

"So Rose, how many more weeks are there?"

"Four weeks and six days," she replied as she patted her belly.

We all laughed and the doorbell rang again, signaling the beginning of the party. She had been counting down the days since she hit the seven month mark, actually taking the time to set up an alert on mine and Emmett's phones to remind us exactly when my nephew would be coming along. I was sure that she would probably protest if he decided to go against her meticulously planned schedule. Rosalie still didn't seem to grasp the concept that babies come when you want them to.

Hell, I had even been three weeks late being born; my mother told me that my stubbornness was all downhill from there.

Edward and Emmett came back inside and led the guys back into the backyard as Alice and I greeted the ladies. Alice knew most of them, because they had been in the same sorority, but I had forgone involving myself with the Greek system, so I only recognized a few of them. But, as the gracious hostess I was, I lied and smiled shamelessly as I pretended that I remembered each and every one of them.

I never really could keep up with the Jessica's of the world. I guess that not being exposed to peroxide in copious amounts had kept me from wanting to join the 'in' crowd. Although, I guess marrying the _big_ man on campus inducted me into that group whether I liked it or not.

At a quarter after one, we began the festivities, and Alice started us off with the many cliché baby shower games by blindfolding herself for pin the diaper on the baby doll. She came up with some strange and creative games for us to play, but they seemed to keep everyone entertained.

Today was shaping up to be a fun day, and I was glad that I could spend it surrounded by friends and family.

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A/N: Yeah, so the 'General' comment regarding Esme, totally happened at my wedding, I thought I was going to have to escort my own mother out……at least my mother-in-law decided to ignore it……she can be a scary woman when she wants to be……**

**So……this chapter was pretty much just some good 'ol married people smut…..couldn't help myself……but you all know you liked it…..;)**

**And for those of you who have asked, yes Rose and Emmett will be featured in this story some more…..as well as Esme and Carlisle in a few of the chapters……**

**If any of you have ingenious baby boy names, let us know, because the new Swan addition still remains nameless…..utterly adorable……but nameless nonetheless.**

**Nostalgicmiss will have Alice fill in the rest of the festivities with her chapter next……involving some drunk Jake groping…..so enjoy!**

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Oh, and I also wanted to address a few things with you guys here.......**

**1) Jacob has a surprise waiting for him in a much later chapter, so don't be worried....that's all you are getting, so be patient**

**2) Not all married people are nice to each other all the time, and often take each other for granted, its the nature of the beast, but it doesn't mean that they love each other any less**

**3) On that same line of thought, married couples often go through phases of affection, so even though nice cuddly romantic Edward is back.....he might still have some slip ups in the future, don't hate him for it when that comes.....**

**Ok, I think that's it.....as always feel free to PM me or Nostalgicmiss, we love answering your questions, and we are glad that you all seem to like where we are taking the story.......**


	8. Ass Grabs, and Booty Calls

_**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to the all knowing all seeing Oz . . . oh, no, wait . . . Twilight belongs to the awesome Stephenie Meyer!! Couture however . . .**_

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Ass Grabs and Booty Calls**

**APOV**

Bella and I had done well planning the shower. Even with the limited time due to her mass of sex hair. Rosalie seemed to be glowing as she sat in the center of the room and center of attention. Rosalie had always had that profound beauty that drew people in, so being the focus had never really been that big of an issue for her. PR seemed to fit her to a T.

Bella on the other hand hated being in the middle of such gatherings, so I tried to help her as much as I could, she'd never quite lost that self-consciousness that she'd always had in high school. Don't get me wrong, she was much better now, but she still preferred to be amid the gathering rather than the focus of it. She was constantly running around filling drinks and making polite conversation. I was proud of her; she'd finally gotten the whole hostess MO down.

Baby showers couldn't be more different than bridal showers. I remembered the one I had thrown for Bella. Giant Penis' had surrounded the room causing her to blush profusely, the veil pinned with condoms had also incapacitated her with giggles; and the games were a stark contrast to the ones we were playing now. I supposed it came with the territory, playing pin the penis of the naked guy had no place in the world of babies. So instead we were pinning the diaper on the baby.

I was one of the last singles in our small group and the last out of our sorority sisters, but it had no bearing on how I lived my life. I lived for my work at the moment; I had to make sure I was irreplaceable, an asset to the company before I could concentrate on anything else. It didn't make these small happy occasions any easier though.

I think I had been approached by each one of my sorority sisters, all of them asked the same question. _Is there anyone special in your life Alice?_

I constantly made the circuit around the room, helping Bella refill the drinks and making sure everyone was comfortable. As soon as I had discovered Rosalie's step-mom's name, Jasper had been, once again, a constant on my mind. During the past week we had been working together getting the shoot rolled out. His tall muscular body had me reeling.

It wasn't just his body though. He made me laugh; we would sit for hours talking as the shoots went on around us. He was so easy to talk to; he was intelligent, witty and highly sarcastic. Every time he touched me there was a small jolt of electricity ebbing through my body. He was constantly brushing strands of hair from my eyes and picking up my hand when he got excited. It was torture, because he was perfect; he was also taken. Still, I couldn't get him off my mind, so I settled for being his friend.

His girlfriend, Maria, was also a model. She was South American. Her deep olive skin, her long shiny black hair, legs that went on for miles all made me envious. I knew in some capacity I was beautiful, but I could never compare to a model. She'd come to the set a couple of times, Jasper would immediately start avoiding me and give her every ounce of his attention.

As petty as it seemed, I didn't like her; and it wasn't because she had the man I wanted. It was because she didn't appreciate him. She spoke down her nose at him, cutting him off mid sentence. She belittled him in front of every other model. It was almost like he was her lap dog; an accessory to add to her collection; and it infuriated me.

I tried to shake off the resentment for Maria as I scanned the room again. Claudia Whitlock was sat quietly in the corner watching the festivities; her glass was empty in her hands.

"Mrs. Whitlock," I sang as I stopped politely in front of her. "Would you like a refill?"

"Alice dear, call me Claudia. Mrs. Ms. or any other prefix makes me feel old." She smiled warmly.

I smiled genuinely at her and motioned at her glass. I had no idea how to ask this woman if she was Jasper's mother, just blurting it out like I had a case of verbal diarrhea would just be awkward. If she was, in fact, Jasper's mother; that would mean that Rosalie was his sister; it made my head spin a little bit.

She handed me her glass with a small polite nod and I took it from her smiling and turned slowly, mentally reprimanding myself for being such an ass. What difference did it make whether she was Jasper's mother or not? I had no claim on him; he was dating the long legged bimbo from Hades.

Yes, he fascinated me, captivated me even. When he was in a room, he was the only one to hold my attention; but he was taken. Doing anything about that would be going against my own moral standards. I hated myself sometimes.

I strolled into the kitchen and took a deep breath then banged my head against the refrigerator before pulling it open. _Get a grip Alice_; move on already. I stood in front of the door and let the cool air wash over me. It helped my mind focus, it fought through the constant haze that seemed make my mind constantly revolve around Jasper.

I scanned the shelves for the wine, a found it on the bottom shelf. I bent over and wrapped my hand around the neck of the bottle pulling it out, but before I could straighten myself, two hands gripped my hips and I felt a body press up against me. Hip to damn hip.

The shock of it made me drop the bottle, it crashed on the floor and shattered into a thousand tiny pieces as I stood up and spun around pressing my back to the freezer door. The last, or at least second to last, person in the world I expected to see today was stood in front of me with a shit eating grin spread across his handsome face.

"Jesus Jake, You scared the shit outta me." I choked out with a raspy breath.

"Sorry Alice," he chuckled, winking at me. "I couldn't resist, your ass looks great in that dress."

His eyes moved down me and back up. He gave me an appreciative smile before his eyes trained back onto my breasts. I clicked my fingers and pointed up in his line of sight.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I whispered.

"Bella invited me, my brothers are gathered doing manly things in the back yard." He laughed thumping his chest. He was cut short by the sound of feet.

Bella skidded into the kitchen and stopped looking down at the floor around my feet. She bit her bottom lip before looking back up at me. Thank fuck it was white wine.

"Sorry, Bella. Jacob startled me." I sighed rolling my eyes to emphasize my annoyance.

Bella grinned at me widely. "You're turning into me Alice." She turned and disappeared into her laundry room pulling out a mop, broom and dustpan. I glared at Jacob and in his usual form he grinned and winked.

"I'll get it Bella," I said stepping out of the mess and holding out my hand. The glass crunched under my feet with every step. "You have to entertain."

Bella nodded and grinned again, handing Jacob and I the broom and mop before disappearing. I turned to Jacob with my hands on my hips. I wasn't angry with him for being here, not at all; it was more of a shock than anything. I was angry that he would touch me like, especially in my best friend's house. A friend that was mutual to both of us.

"Jacob, you should not sneak up on people like that." I squeaked before lowering my voice, "And you certainly shouldn't be touching me like that here."

Jacob rolled his eyes and pulled the mop and broom from my hands; he leaned them both up against the counter and crouched down to start picking up shards of glass. I knew the look he gave me as he looked up. He'd been drinking, which meant he was horny.

I pulled the trashcan over to the edge of the mess and crouched down to help him pick up the larger pieces. I hated it when he went silent and gave me the puppy dog eyes. It was my turn to roll my eyes now. I looked around to make sure no one was looking before I reached out and cupped his cheek with my hand. His eyes slid closed at my touch, then opening heavily hooded with lust.

"Come over tonight, after we're finished here," I winked playfully. "You can touch me all you want."

Jacob barked out a laugh before turning his head and kissing the palm of my hand. "Am I that easy to read?"

"Open book," I giggled pushing on my knees until I was standing. I leaned over him and pulled the dustpan and broom towards me, his fingers brushed up my legs to the hem of my dress. I knew it was wrong, that I should stop him, but I let it go this once.

We finished cleaning up the mess and I pulled a fresh bottle of wine from the fridge, pouring a glass for Claudia. Jake pulled another beer from the refrigerator and leaned against the counter watching me.

"How'd you get here, Jake?" I asked eyeing the bottle in his hand.

"Cab, why?"

"Well I know how you get around the boys," I did know, many a night during college he would crawl to my apartment rather than his own bed, because he needed someone to look after him. "So if you need a ride home . . ."

"Thanks, Al. That would be great."

I nodded and picked up the glass. Jacob wrapped one of his large hands around my free hand and squeezed, I smiled at him before rejoining the room full of women. As much as I loved Jacob, I wasn't _in_ love with him. The few times we had been together over this last week had been awkward because he was becoming more affectionate. The dinner I had cooked last weekend had started off the new funk, and I had no idea how to fix it.

He'd come over after work, as I was just finishing off the cooking, I'd asked him to set the table at my unused dining table while I served up the plates. When I got to the dining room he'd set up the table, but there were candles lit and the romantic atmosphere made me nervous.

We sat in the dim light eating and laughing, but there was unfamiliarity there. His eyes would linger on mine a little too often; he would touch me gently on the hand or leg while he was talking to me. The sex that night had been too gentle, it wasn't us no matter how I looked at it.

Since then we had been awkward, Jacob was all touchy feely with me and as much as I loved him, it had never been part of our dynamic. It was always get in, get out, and act normal. It wasn't full of adoration and affection, and it was never making love; it was just sex.

Now, Jacob would hold me gently as my body rocked against his when I climaxed, his large hands brushing away the sweaty locks of hair that had stuck against my forehead. His lips would brush against my forehead before he would disappear into the bathroom to clean up. It left me perplexed and I was beginning to feel wrong about the whole situation.

Maybe we were beyond our expiration date. Tonight would be an experiment; if in his drunken state, he was still affectionate, I knew it was time to end our arrangement. I hated to do it because the man was damn good in bed, but his friendship was so much more important than the sex.

I shook the thoughts out of my head as I approached Claudia and smiled again, handing her the glass. "Sorry it took so long, Claudia,"

"Thank you, Alice."

I stood in silence beside her for a second before thinking _screw it_, and threw caution to the wind. It wouldn't make a difference if she was or wasn't his mother, if she happened to be Jasper's mom, it would just make this a terribly small world.

"Claudia, may I ask you something?"

"Certainly, Alice." she smiled warmly and I had to fight to not see what I was seeing. Jasper's smile was a carbon copy of his mothers. There was really no need to ask her after that small confirmation, but I had to be sure.

"I work at Couture Magazine, and I have been doing a shoot all week for Polo. One of the models is Jasper Whitlock, you wouldn't happen to be related to him would you?"

Claudia smiled and nodded softly. There was a definite softening in her eyes as she heard her son's name. It was so maternal I couldn't help but return her smile.

"He's my son, it's nice to have him home occasionally. He's been in Paris and London a lot lately. The _thing_ he's with insists he travel with her," she sighed.

I bit down on my tongue trying to stop the smile forming on my lips. It seemed Claudia didn't exactly like Maria either. "The _thing_ wouldn't happen to be a five foot ten model with a terrible attitude would it?"

Claudia laughed once and picked up my hand squeezing it gently. Her eyes twinkled as she considered her answer. I knew she was trying to decide whether to edit or not.

"You've met the vile creature I see." She laughed freely "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be so rude, but it seems Jasper is a little blind-sighted when it comes to Maria. I don't like the way she talks down to him, like she's better than he is in some odd capacity. Jasper deserves so much better than that."

"I think I would have to agree with you." I smiled. "You have a very charismatic son, Claudia."

Claudia smiled broadly and squeezed my hand again gently. "He had a hard time after his father died. He was so withdrawn, so very sad. It was actually Rosalie that turned him around; her tenacity seemed to be the lifeline he was looking for. They've been close ever since."

I tried not to bother Claudia too much for the rest of the afternoon. My sick obsession with her son didn't really need to be public knowledge. Bella knew how I felt to a certain extent, but beyond that; I was in this on my own. It was typical of me to fall into unrequited love. I didn't have the best romantic past.

Love? Was I in love with him? I didn't think it stemmed out that far but he definitely had an effect on me.

Rosalie cooed as she opened her gifts; it was all completely adorable of course. The size of the clothes alone had me pining for something I had never even considered before. Even Rosalie had caught on to that. Reminding me, in a way only Rosalie could, that I needed a man first. I grinned and nodded, if she only knew what was going on in my life right now.

The afternoon moved along quietly after that, and as the crowd of females began trickling away, the party in the backyard began getting louder. The men were drunk. That was certainly nothing new, but when they got together the stories began. I just hoped Jacob didn't _talk_ while he was drunk. The last think I needed was the entire backyard, and it's occupants, knowing I had been screwing him for the last couple of months.

"Is that my husband _singing_?" Rosalie laughed, struggling to get of the chair, her belly being the first thing to rise.

"It's Emmett, anything's possible." I laughed, offering her my hand. I pulled her to her feet slowly and walked with her to the back door. She shuffled her feet while her hands planted themselves against her back, supporting her. Bella was already outside, there had been a crash about five minutes ago, and she'd gone to investigate and hadn't resurfaced.

Rosalie and I laughed at the sight outside. Edward held Bella captive in his arms and Emmett had his arms around the shoulders of Jacob and some of his other brothers as they swayed and sang classic rock songs. There was a small fire pit burning in the middle of a circle of lawn furniture where the rest of the men had gathered as the cool night air set in. I raised my eyebrows at the scene. It looked as though we were back in college.

"Help me out there will you, Alice?" Rosalie laughed pushing open the door. "Those steps look dangerous. I can't see my damn feet either. God, I hate being an invalid."

"Let me get you a jacket." I giggled and I left her stood by the door as I dashed inside to Bella's coat closet to pick up Rosalie's and my coats. I handed her hers as I arrived back in the kitchen, I pulled mine on quickly and held her arm as I helped her down the stairs to the back yard.

"Rosie," Emmett's booming voice cut through the other singers as we hit the last step. He held up a beer and silently toasted her before bringing back to his lips and draining the bottle.

"Emmett, how much have you had to drink?" Rosalie growled playfully.

"Couple beers baby, why?" He cocked his head to the side and gave her the dimple smile for effect. I couldn't help but laugh at that.

"You're supposed to be driving me home you jackass." Rosalie snapped.

Emmett's face fell and he looked at Rosalie's face and her stomach intermittently. Rosalie sighed and I could see her caving in to the innocent look he was giving her. She smiled once before continuing.

"It's a good job I think ahead," she laughed playfully. "I called my brother, he'll be here in a little bit. You'll all finally get to meet him."

"Jasper's a riot," Emmett chuckled, punching Jacob playfully in the shoulder. "He couldn't make it to the wedding because he was working in _Milan_."

My eyes met with Bella and I could see her putting together the pieces. A small frown wrinkled her brow and I shook my head once. She was so damn perceptive that way. She broke eye contact and smiled at her brother as he swayed on the spot merrily.

"What does Jasper do again?" Bella asked, her eyes locking with mine again.

"Pansy boy's a model." Emmett laughed.

Bella's eyes widened to the point that they could have easily fallen out of her head. I shook my head once before forcing a smile. I hadn't known, I really hadn't known, not until today anyway. How could I have known? It hadn't been until I asked Claudia that it came together. I'd had my suspicions when I saw her name but that was it. Before that, I had no idea.

"Emmett; quit calling my brother a pansy. You know that pisses me off."

Emmett stumbled over to Rosalie and wrapped his arms around her gently as he buried his face in to her neck. One hand rubbed her protruding stomach gently, trying to appease her.

"Baby I'm playing. You should know that by now. How long have we been together?"

Rosalie laughed and shoved him away. "Too long you ass, but I love you too much to kick you to the curb." She stroked his face lovingly.

We all laughed at Emmett's expense and I shifted uncomfortably. I couldn't be here when Jasper arrived, as ridiculous as it sounded I wasn't ready to see him in this capacity. I had only ever interacted with him at work and I didn't want this to be awkward.

Not to mention having Jacob and Jasper in the same room wouldn't be good at this juncture. A drunk Jacob would have no qualms about cutting into any extended conversation I could have with Jasper, and that was if he didn't bring Maria. If he did . . . No, I had to get the hell out of here.

My salvation came in the shape of one Jacob Black. He stood rocking back and forth in his drunken state. His eyes rolling closed as he drank the last of the beer he was holding.

"Rosalie," I sighed purposefully. "I would love to meet your brother, but I think I should get Jacob home before he falls over and breaks something."

Everyone's eyes turned to Jacob who grinned sheepishly. Bella simply narrowed her eyes at me. They were full of curiosity and unanswered questions, but I didn't want to get into that now.

If she hadn't of figured it out, one word from me would explain everything, if she had, she would encourage me to stay, that was a bad idea, especially with a drunk Jacob; it's when he became protective. I mouthed "later" and headed towards Jacob, taking his weight on my shoulder. _Holy crap_ he was heavy.

"Let me, Alice. You'll hurt yourself." Edward laughed propping up Jacob's other side. They made their way up the porch steps and into the house and I gave everyone a big hug goodbye before I followed, I noted the suspicion in Rosalie's eyes as I made my way into the house. Bella jumped up and ran to my side and walked with me inside.

As Emmett and Edward helped the inebriated Jacob into the car, placing their hands on his head so he wouldn't assault my car with it; Bella's arms wrapped around me tightly pulling me into a tight embrace.

"We will talk later Alice Brandon," she whispered before smiling radiantly and releasing me. I nodded once and followed it with a grin before running to the driver's side of my beloved Porsche.

"Thanks boys, I will see you soon. Love you guys." I climbed in the car and started the engine; Emmett slapped a hand on his chest as I revved the engine. He and Rosalie enjoyed the finer points of auto engineering. They were the only people I trusted with my baby.

Headlights rounded the corner of the street and as Jasper's face flashed across my mind; my heart inexplicably took off in my chest. I couldn't understand why I was so nervous and hesitant to see him. I knew he would have Maria with him, but I couldn't even blame my irrational behavior on her. I just needed to get out.

Jacob groaned as I stepped on the gas with a little more fervor than I intended. The car lurched forward, throwing us both back into our seats. I checked the rearview mirror as I continued forward and saw Edward and Emmett laughing. I was sure they assumed I was torturing Jacob purposefully.

"Shit, Alice. Not a good idea." Jacob groaned from beside me. Two birds. One stone.

"Tell me if your gonna throw up, Jacob. Vomit and leather aren't good friends."

"Just stop with the speed racer shit then."

I passed the car coming in the opposite direction and let off the gas slowly. My heart evened out again and I took a deep breath. "I think I can handle that."

I didn't live far from Bella and Edward, so it didn't take long to arrive at the condos, but it was still enough time for Jacob to pass out. I just hoped he would be a little bit more sober. There was no way in hell I could support his weight.

I had berated myself all the way home for my rash behavior; I couldn't even explain it to myself, how the hell was I going to explain it to Bella? I couldn't even give her my Jacob excuse because she had no idea about our _Modus Vivendi_. I stayed in the car listening to Jacob's soft snore as I tried to go through my own reasoning.

In the heat of the moment I had told myself I wasn't ready to see him outside of the work atmosphere. Bella wouldn't buy that for a second and I knew it. Even Jacob as an excuse wasn't as real as I would like it to be, and I certainly couldn't tell Bella that. Could I tell her the truth without her looking at me like I was insane?

I was falling for him and there was absolutely nothing I could do to convince myself otherwise. I had to learn to push those emotions to the back of my mind and ignore them. He had someone in his life.

Jacob stirred beside me pulling me from my thoughts. I ran my hand up and down his arm and smiled at him. "We're here, did you still want to come up?"

Jacob's large form shifted in the seat so he could look at me. A large grin passed over his features. "Does a bear shit in the woods?"

Still half inebriated, Jacob stumbled towards the elevators. His hand lay neatly at the back of his neck as he grinned at me. He was adorable when he was drunk. I pushed the button on the elevators and waited for the doors to slide open. Jacob wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed the top of my head gently. He was making it awkward again.

As the doors to the elevator slid open, I pulled his hand from my waist and stepped inside, pushing the button for my floor. Jacob backed me into a wall; his dark eyes alight as his head bowed towards mine. As his lips pressed against mine, I felt the need to forget, the need for him to take me like he used to. Just hard, rough nonsensical sex. I would instigate it if I had to.

I wait as the doors closed completely, as the gentle hum of the elevator moving started; I put my plan into action. It was a need, a want, and a drive. My hands roamed up his shirt and stroked his muscles delicately as I took his bottom lip between my teeth. He grunted like an animal before pinning me to the wall.

His hands rode up my thighs and under my skirt, reaching the hips of the underwear I was wearing. My breathing was coming in quick spurts as my heart beat in my chest and echoed in my head. Jacob's hot breath flooded my ear as he whispered to me.

"How attached are you to these?" He asked, his rugged breathing making me shudder.

"Not very, why?"

I felt his fingers hook into my underwear before the gentle sound of them ripping filled the small space. He pulled back and looked into my eyes smirking. "That's why."

I pushed my lips against his with a deeper fervor, my arms snaking around his neck holding him to me. His hands slid around my thighs again to the warm damp confines of my core. He ran his thumb along the lines of my folds and I moaned into his mouth.

I bit his lip again hoping to stop this gentleness he kept exuding. He growled at me as his knee fell between my legs and pushed them apart. He lifted it, brushing it against my wet folds causing a friction that made my eyes roll. I wrapped my legs around his thigh and bucked my hips against him.

Jacob grabbed my ass and pulled me up to his waist, his lips never leaving mine. He pressed my back full to the wall now he was at his full height. His fingers moved from my ass to my thighs and between my parted legs, flicking the bundle of nerves there.

"Fuck," I breathed letting my head fall against the wall as his lips came to my neck.

"We'll get to that," Jacob growled against the skin of my neck. The heat of his breath made my hips roll against his. I could feel his erection pushing into me. His free hand rode up under my sweater and he groped my breast roughly, I groaned my pleasure out letting him know that rough was exactly how I wanted it tonight.

The ding of the elevator barely caught my attention but the doors slid open regardless. Without letting me down to the ground, Jacob stumbled from the elevator and pushed me up against the corresponding wall, the air whooshed from my lungs on impact, and I laughed breathily, pulling his hair into my fists aggressively.

"I see how you want to play it tonight, Alice." He growled, dipping his fingers inside of me roughly as I gasped in air. My whole body trembled against his fingers as my eyes scanned the corridor. This wasn't the place to do this.

"My condo, now!" I exclaimed in a breathless voice.

Jacob chuckled but pushed me up over his shoulder with a slap on my ass.

"Fucker," I laughed, pulling my keys from my purse, praying that my skirt was covering me modestly to the rest of the world.

Jacob backed up to the door and I unlocked it and pushed it open, pulling out the keys in the same motion. He backed in and kicked the door shut as his hands roamed up the back of my thigh.

"Don't you dare Jacob," I squealed, but it was too late, his fingers brushed me gently pinching the nerve center between my thighs. My stomach exploded into a gallop ahead of me as I panted for breath. I could feel my thigh quivering gently and my walls clenching tightly, but Jacob stopped abruptly and threw me on the bed.

There was a fire behind his eyes as he pulled his button up shirt over his head and discarded it on the floor beside him, he stripped quickly, and stood before me in all of his glory. His eyes met mine as I grinned.

"What the hell are you waiting for Brandon? Strip."

I unzipped the dress and slid it down over my hips. Jacob's eyes widened briefly before he turned away to dig in my drawer for a condom. I reached around behind me and unhooked my bra before discarding it at the foot of the bed.

"Fuck," Jacob's voice was full of frustration and I couldn't help but smile.

"I bought more, they're in the bathroom."

Jacob ran into the bathroom and came back condom clad and ready to go. He slid up my body, hoisting one leg over his shoulder as he moved further up my body. His eyes were dark as he assessed my bending limitations. I used to be a cheerleader Dammit!

Jacob thrust into me roughly with a grunt, all of the air rushed from me as he pulled back and slammed in again. He leaned forward to kiss me but I pushed him back with my thigh and smiled deviously.

He picked up his pace as my fingers dug into the comforter below me. I came again, hard, but Jacob didn't stop. He continued to rock into me as my muscles closed in around him. I could see he was close as he plunged harder and harder into me. Then he tensed up completely, every muscle in his body solidified as he came.

He collapsed beside me panting, his hot breath on my shoulder, and my leg underneath him. He was still heavy. "Jake, my leg." I laughed as it began tingling.

"Shit, sorry Alice."

He pushed himself off the bed and disappeared into the bathroom as I pulled one of the throw blankets around myself. I was still catching my breath.

I looked up to see Jacob standing, leaning against the door jam of the bathroom with a smile; he had a towel wrapped around his waist. I smiled back as I curled into a ball and fell onto the bed. I was warm and achy and really needed a shower after that.

"Hey Alice," Jacob said pushing off the door jam and heading towards me.

"Yeah?"

"We need to talk."

**

* * *

A/N: Don't hate me for the cliffie, it's what I do, lol . . . I know what can I say ;)**

**First and foremost, I would like to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOLDENTEMPTRESS . . . you are an awesome friend and an amazing co-writer!!! I hope this year's brings you all the best . . . **

**I know that some of you thought it was going to be an easy hookup with Jasper, but when is anything that easy in life? I know, poor girl is so confused!!!**

**Thank you for all the alerts and faves, you guys rock! AND THANK YOU TO THE REVIEWERS . . . YOU ARE ALL AMAZING AND SERIOUSLY THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS AND SUPPORT ;) LOVE YOU GUYS!!! YOU ROCK!**

**TILL MONDAY – MUCH LOVE AND BIG HUGZ – L – **


	9. America's Next Top Bitch

**Disclaimer: **_**All Things Twilight belong to the Amazing Stephenie Meyer . . .**_

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* * *

America's Next Top Bitch**

**APOV**

_Shit_! Talking was not a good thing; it was what brought the awkwardness about the last time we arranged something resembling a date. Talking meant confronting things we had avoided thus far; and in the context he was using, it was guaranteed to end in disaster.

"What's up, Jake?" I swallowed the internal berating I was giving myself. I should have put it off, told him I was too tired. Yet, I knew that wasn't fair, to him or me.

He moved to the bed and slid up next to me pulling me into his vice-like grip, his chin tucking my head securely against his chest. I could hear his heart pounding quickly in his chest as he sat silently looking for, what I could only assume, were the right words.

He breathed in deeply, my entire body lifted from him as he filled his lungs with a deep intake of oxygen. He'd been silent too long; I knew I had to say something.

"Spit it out, Jake." I whispered gently knowing sarcasm really wasn't the best course of action in a situation like this.

"What I said the other night . . ." he rushed in a deep rumble that vibrated against the side of my face. "Well, I think that you and I would be good together. I like this, I like spending time with you, we've been doing this for a while now, I just . . ."

"Jake, slow down," I said pulling myself out of his arms and looking into his deep brown eyes. He was speaking so quickly and so quietly, I was barely making out the words.

"I would like to go public, so to speak, make a go of it as a couple."

"Are you insane?" I giggled lightly but stopped immediately regretting it. His eyes were telling me jus how serious he was. "Jake, don't get me wrong, I enjoy the time I spend with you. You're one of the most amazing guys I have ever known, and when I say you're the best I ever had I mean that . . . I just . . ."

"How do you know?"

"Jacob, I love you, but I'm not _in_ love with you."

"Look, can you sleep on it, just give it time for the idea to sink in, and then when you make a decision, call me, have lunch or dinner with me, it doesn't matter, I just don't want you to reject the thought without really considering it first. And I'm drunk as shit too which I know isn't helping anything . . . you know how I am Alice."

"Fine!" I exhaled in defeat, I was tired and achy, now was not the time to get deep or hop into a nice soul search. "Let me think about it, but Jacob . . ."

"Say no more," He grinned, leaning forward and planting his lips on my neck, he pushed me back on to the bed and pressed his soft lips against mine. My body was screaming yes while my mind screamed, this is wrong.

Stupid mind.

I pushed gently on Jacob's shoulders until I could see his eyes, they were heavily hooded with lust and I almost gave in knowing what that look brought with it; but I had to be fair to Jacob.

"Jacob, I think if I'm going to sleep on this, I need to sleep." I giggled gently, trying to lessen the rejection. This could probably go on record as the first time I had ever said no to him.

"I understand," He smiled genuinely, "You need time to think."

I nodded but kept my smile in place as my hands stroked his thick arms slowly. He grinned at me and pulled me back into a sitting position as he rolled back up onto his knees. He once again pulled me into a tight embrace and kissed the top of my head gently.

"Can I stay tonight?" he whispered to the top of my head.

This wasn't unusual, Jacob often stayed when he was drunk; I think it was when the loneliness affected him the most. In college he would always crash at the apartment when he was nicely toasted.

I nodded gently and he rolled back onto the bed keeping me in his arms, tight against his chest. He smelled so good and I found myself wishing I could fall for him. He was perfect in every way, gentle, loving, kind, funny, amazing in bed, and gorgeous to boot. There was nothing not to like. I just couldn't do it though; it was like a mental block I couldn't work through.

Jacob fell asleep shortly after, his gentle snoring blowing his warm breath across my neck as he nuzzled into me as far as he possibly could. I couldn't sleep with this much on my mind and I was cursing myself. I should have told him nothing would change, that I've tried, but again I couldn't do it to him while he was so vulnerable.

I just hoped that if he thought that I had really pondered on it, that I had put all my resources into considering it, I t would lessen the blow . . . _I'm a fucking moron._

****

I woke up the next morning feeling strange. After Jacob told me he wanted to give 'us' a try, I idiotically told him I would think about it. I didn't want to lose him as a friend, but I had planted a seed of hope; I could see it dancing behind his glazed over eyes when I told him he could stay, after I rejected him and told him I needed time to think about it. He was pretty drunk last night; maybe he wouldn't remember it . . .

Nope, not going happen. I was just an idiot; and that point was most certainly clarified the moment I crawled out of bed.

I fluffed Jacob's usual head indentation out of the pillow and rolled out of bed with a heavy heart. I knew I would have to speak to him today; I couldn't let that small seed blossom. There was already too much hope in those puppy dog eyes of his.

It was then I saw small indications of confirmation that seemed to scream at me how much of a moron I really was. It was like an elephant sat in the corner of the room . . . small, white, screaming, evidence.

A pair of his discarded socks were on the bench at the end of my bed. The inoffensive cotton seemed to scream at me from their disorganized perch. My eyes scanned the room, wondering if he'd just forgotten, after all, he was probably hung over after the quantity of alcohol he'd consumed the night before.

Nope, I wasn't that lucky. On the nightstand was his watch, the silver band picked up the light that was beginning to stream through the windows. I ran my hand through my short hair in frustration. How could he want this? There _was_ no us, there never would be. We gave one another enough to stave off the loneliness, why wasn't that enough anymore?

I moved towards the bathroom and stubbed my toe on the dresser. Shooting pain tore up my leg and I shouted out words no lady should ever utter, in fact, I used a whole slew of them. I had been up for five minutes and this was shaping up to be one hell of a day so far. I hobbled forward; I couldn't just go back to bed today, yet it was sounding enormously tempting about now.

Things progressed from bad to worse in the bathroom. There was a damp towel hanging over the shower door and a new toothbrush had been left out on my counter, each still damp from their last user. I leaned against the wall and banged the back of my head against it in frustration, my eyes never leaving the blue toothbrush.

"Dammit Jacob," I sighed again. Why would he do this now? Why couldn't he let sleeping dogs lie? Our arrangement had been working nicely. Not to mention the fact that this really wasn't giving me time to think about it. Was he trying to leave subtle – or not so subtle in this case – reminders of himself?

I knew what I had to do, and I had to do it soon; but it didn't make it any easier. In the beginning I had promised myself that if this happened, if an attachment started, I would stop it, unless I felt the same way, of course. This was the second time he'd brought this up in a week and I knew I had been selfishly putting this off. He had been my solace, my stress reliever. No strings attached, except for now apparently.

I pushed off the wall and picked up the towel and threw it into the laundry basket, I pulled open the door and turned on the shower, waiting for the steam to fill the room, hoping it would clear.

I would have to talk to him at lunch today. I couldn't put this off any longer. I had to do it for both of us, I had to give Jacob the chance to be happy and I had to start dealing with my life. Putting it off any longer would just hurt us both.

My body lurched and I felt the familiar prickling of tears as my eyes welled up with water. I took deep gulps of air trying to control the overspill of emotions, but it was no use. Undressing quickly, I threw my clothes into the hamper and pulled open the door to the shower.

I jumped in and let the water run over my face washing the tears away, but it couldn't hide the helpless sobs that shook my frame. I willed the water to wash away the emotions that had brought the tears to begin with but it was futile. I knew this was my decision and I knew it was stupid to cry about it.

In reality, I couldn't consciously get into a relationship with Jacob knowing I wasn't, and possibly never could be _in_ love with him. I also hated that this had the potential to hurt him. He was a good guy that deserved to be loved completely, and I couldn't offer him that. I had to give him the chance to find that, even if I had to hurt him to do it.

The slight ache brought with it enlightenment. It was obvious that I was already too attached and dependent on Jacob. Attached, yes, in love with, no. I doubted I ever could be. He was like the male version of Bella. He never judged me, and I could talk to him about anything. There was just that extra added benefit with him.

In hindsight, even with all of this pain, if asked if I would do it again, knowing this day was coming; I would undoubtedly say yes. Jacob was amazing; and I didn't regret one moment we'd spent together, to change that would mean I regretted it, that I had wished it had never happened. That just wasn't the case. If I could change anything it would be Jacob's new attachment.

I wished I could talk to Bella about this, but I couldn't tell her after the fact, she would be upset that I kept this from her. I knew she would probably be alright about it, but I had hidden it for so long, told little white lies about whom I was with; I just had no idea how she would react about me sleeping with Jacob and _not_ telling her. This was all such a mess.

I turned off the shower and pulled a towel around me. I stood in front of the counter and pulled a brush through my wet hair. I tried to keep my eyes from the counter and on my reflection, but all the while, the damn toothbrush taunted me. I pulled it out of the holder and pulled open a drawer throwing it inside before slamming it shut again.

Fuck!

I made my way into the bedroom. The damn socks and watch screamed at me, as I got dressed. They were like time bombs ticking away, counting down to the inevitable. This was going to be a long day, and the only silver lining was that I could see, was seeing Jasper. Today was the last day of the shoot; and it was that thought that deflated the first epiphany.

I left the house with Jacob's socks and watch in a small bag in my purse, they seemed to weigh twenty pounds; and the weight applied directly to my heart. I may not be _in_ love with him, but it didn't mean I didn't love him in some capacity. I was so afraid of losing Jacob as a friend.

I tried to push it to the back of my mind before I left the condo. I couldn't let this affect my work; and I sure as hell couldn't be this somber in front of Bella. She'd known me too long; she'd pick up on it immediately. Going back to bed was looking better and better at this point.

I was thankful that the shoot today wasn't at the studio; we were on location. It meant that I could avoid everybody and let Jasper work his magic, coupled nicely with copious amounts of fresh brisk air. The man had an affinity for brightening my day, shit, who was I kidding? He could smile and it was like that first ray of light hitting the horizon.

I climbed into my car and headed towards one of Seattle's larger parks, my mind now clouded with the irrationality of Jasper's influence over me. If I'd let myself see how sick it was to replace one problem with an unattainable man, I might have hated myself a little, but I had had my fill of masochism for the morning, I would save the rest for lunch.

The sun was already a glowing orb in the sky when I arrived; it was a rarely bright and sunny day for Seattle. Hell it was bright and sunny for the Pacific Northwest; but that wasn't what brightened my outlook. Every pang of disgust and hate I had for myself ebbed into the back of my skull, I knew that it would come back with a vengeance later but I couldn't help myself.

It was the handsome blond that stood amongst the multitudes of staff and models. His smile was brighter than the sun and it broke through the clouds of my mind. Since he'd stumbled into my life, he'd consumed most of my daydreams. He was bright and effervescent, a guiding light that seemed to drawn me to him like a beacon. I knew it was wrong and I could never act on it, but it didn't stop my draw to him.

"Hey sugar," Jasper's voice penetrated the idol chatter of the group and his dazzling smile pulled me in again. I almost hated the fact that he had this affect on me. He was dating someone and I couldn't consciously flirt with him knowing that. Stupid morals.

"Hey Jasper," I smiled warmly. "Last day of the shoot, you ready?"

"I'm always ready," He laughed flexing the muscles in his arm and winking.

I couldn't stop the giggle that erupted from me, I was like an insatiable teenager with a crush on a teacher, and it was ridiculous.

Jasper and I had become good friends but I knew this was the last time I would see him in this environment. Knowing he was Rosalie's brother should have excited me, but it just seemed to weigh more on me than it had.

He was dating a leggy model and seemed perfectly content. Interacting with him was not going to end well, especially with the unrequited emotions that had already flooded my system.

"I'm not going to lie Alice," Jasper laughed, resting his arm on my shoulder. My entire body tingled with his touch. I am one sick cookie. "I'm going to miss you."

My heart pounded and my stomach flipped, I knew he was being playfully sarcastic, but it sounded so nice to my . . . well, everything. I bit something to try and stop the blush that matched my thoughts from rising to my cheeks.

"I highly doubt that Jasper," I laughed playfully. He had no idea how much I wished that was true. "I know I can be a taskmaster when I want something."

"I've seen the contact sheets, your pushing pays off." He nudged me gently with his arm and I stumbled forward a step.

I laughed and rolled my eyes. He always seemed to know how to make my entire body turn to jelly. We were here to work though, I needed to think, and that was something I couldn't do with him this close.

"Get your ass to wardrobe pretty boy." I ordered with a smile, he had picked up the nickname from the interns and any female within a fifty-mile radius.

"Yes, Ma'am." Jasper laughed and took back his arm before running to a small RV that had been set up as the wardrobe.

I watched him for a moment, before I continued towards the area that had been set up for the shoot, the large white sails that reflected light on the set had already been set up and placed around the gathering of trees.

The photographer had some of the interns in the space taking test shots with the light meter, and the stylists were running around making sure the garments were fitted properly and not a hair was out of place. It was the usual MO on the set of a shoot like this.

Amanda was sat in the area we normally occupied waiting for me with a coffee and paperwork. I grinned at her as I took my seat. "What do you have for me this morning?"

"You're going to love this," Amanda laughed happily. "Dolce and Gabbana have asked you personally to oversee their next shoot, they have a runway show in New York for fashion week and they want you to oversee the catwalk shots. They're giving Couture the exclusive if you agree."

"Shawn?" Shawn Colbert was creative director for Dolce and Gabbana. He oversaw all of their shoots and catwalk shows. He and I had worked on layouts for their lines; he now requested me specifically. He liked my work ethic and drive. I was a perfectionist and everyone knew it.

"Yeah, he says you're eye for detail is needed, the catwalk they have planned is pretty unconventional. He swears that you're the only one who can get the shots they need."

I laughed before taking a mouthful of coffee. "Send him a message and let him know I'll call him when I get back to the office."

"Will do." Amanda said, scribbling a note in her organizer. She scanned over the pages as I sipped on my coffee. I took a deep breath and decided to get the next task out of the way so I couldn't back out.

"Can you call Jacob Black and set up lunch for today?" I whispered my voice unsteady and unsure.

Amanda raised her eyebrows.

"What?" I thought she'd picked up on the wavering of my voice.

"He already called, he wanted to meet you for lunch. I told him I would send him an email after I spoke with you confirming."

Of course he'd already called. I knew he would already be at work; he'd stayed the entire night at my condo, that's why he'd taken a shower. It was the first time he'd been there all night in a while.

I was sure he saw it as a turning point and my stomach fluttered in discomfort, he always slept at my place when he was drunk, why would he make such assumptions now? I hoped he would forgive me for what I was about to do.

"Okay, go ahead and confirm that." I said smiling as best I could.

I sat back in my chair and tried to enjoy my coffee, I let the caffeine run through my body. It shook off the renewed dread the conversation about Jacob had raised in me.

The cool air was clearing the rest of the fog from my mind and I was able to focus on something other than Jacob and Jasper. Maybe a small trip out of town was what I needed. New York was beautiful at this time of the year, and the catwalk shows had always been my favorite. Not to mention the editor in chief would literally worship me for a week for the exclusive.

"Alice," The photographer and creative director, David, were stood with the line of models, waiting for me to join them. I grinned and stood up. "If Shawn happens to call again, come get me, if Jacob calls, tell him I'll see him at lunch, and if Bella calls tell her I will call her as soon as I'm finished here."

"Will do." Amanda smiled, noting it in her organizer. The girl was OCD, but it worked well. She never forgot a thing.

I walked towards the small set up and planted my hands on my hips looking over the spot we had chosen for the shoot. The creative director watched me carefully, he knew I was particular in what I wanted and always pushed the models as far as he could to get me what I wanted.

I picked up Jasper's hand, trying to quiet the excited tingle that coursed through me; and pulled him towards a small space, where a couple of trees had fallen and already been covered by the green moss that carpeted most of the forest floors in the state.

Jasper grinned as he faced me; he knew I was in taskmaster mode so he never said a word. He seemed to be able to read me, almost knowing what I wanted. It was almost like having a silent conversation that no one else could hear.

He turned to face me knowing what to expect. My hands played with the collar of the shirt he was wearing as I stared into his blue eyes, they were as blue as the ocean and their depth seemed to maintain that perception, I was hopelessly lost in them as I aimlessly fiddled with the clean lines of the crisp shirt.

I jumped as white light filled the space around us, leaving small bursts of light to speckle my sight even when I closed them. The photographer had snapped as shot with me in the frame. I let my eyes blink as I tried to regain sight without the residue of the flash.

"Sorry," the photographers voice rang out from behind the blinding spots. "It was so cute I had to take a shot."

Jasper laughed and placed his hands on my hips, his eyes catching mine and holding me transfixed between the blue and light bursts. "One more for the road." He called out laughing before the light once again filled the space around us.

Like I needed any more of a reminder of how perfect his man was. I backed away from him and he winked at me playfully. I grinned and rolled my eyes before heading to my place behind the camera.

The last shot of Jasper and I was still on the screen and I fully intended to get a copy of that picture. I pressed a button that would give me what the camera was picking up now. The light bounced perfectly from Jasper's pale skin as he stood by the background. His eyes were still on me waiting for direction.

His leonine form was relaxed and completely at ease as he waited. It was obvious he was good at what he did. He could jump into a professional stance with a click of our fingers. His blond hair fell casually into his burning blue eyes and I stood transfixed for a second too long, David coughed subtly beside me.

"Jasper, you see the fallen trees behind you?" I said smiling, reprimanding myself as I spoke. He has a girlfriend, I repeated in my head as I spoke.

"Yeah," He grinned scanning the trees behind him.

"Do what you do best and use them as much as you can, the green of the moss brings out the brown in that shirt, I need you to work that contrast."

"Got it." He backed towards the trees and started working. The lights flashed brightly and the shots began filling the screen in front of me. David stood beside me and grinned. He knew as well as I did that the guy had a gift, this shoot had the potential to take him places.

"Jasper, last fifteen frames. You can get down on them now, you can sit if you need to," David shouted squeezing my shoulder gently. I smiled up at him, he knew what I was looking for, and it's why I always requested him. I had a tight knit group of people that had the same sense of what worked as I did so we worked quickly and efficiently together. We complimented one another perfectly.

Jasper moved easily around the fallen trunks and moss. He was beautiful, each move he made had his muscles rippling gently; it was mesmerizing. He smiled between each shot laughing easily as he slid down the dewy moss on the trunks. He was so carefree and easy, I hated that this was the last time we would be like this. The thought of not seeing him again was just as painful as the impending conversation with Jacob at lunch.

"Okay Jasper, you're good. Go change. Chris you're up." David shouted hitting a button on the screen in front of me.

The rest of the shoot moved along quickly. We knew what we needed and finished it off easily. David was just as much a perfectionist as I was so we agreed on almost everything we were doing. By the time we were finished it was only ten thirty.

The crew started wrapping up and packing up the equipment and I headed back to Amanda who was still shuffling through large stacks of papers. It was the models checks and contracts. I signed off on them all and handed them back to her.

I pulled out my PDA and shuffled through all of the messages, Amanda always copied any emails she sent for me, so I could keep track of them. Bella had sent a message already. I couldn't help but laugh at the message.

"_You don't get off that easily Brandon! You still owe me an explanation. Call Me!"_

I messaged her back . . . "_Back in the office soon. Will call U." . . ._ and hit send. I went through some other work related emails and fell into the sense of calm that my work often brought me.

"Alice," I recognized the voice immediately, and my stomach flipped gently inside of me, effectively undoing all of the calm I had just found.

"Hey Jasper, we got some fantastic shots. If you need them for your portfolio, just write it on your contract, and I'll get them sent to you. The contact sheets should be ready by about two."

Jasper grinned playfully and picked up my hands, a warm sensation flooded me completely and I swallowed compulsively. I hated that I couldn't control my reactions around him, my entire body almost poised for anything to happen with any kind of interaction from him. It was like nature forcing me towards him with all its gusto. Now I was sounding like some hippy stalker chick! Get a grip Alice.

"I just wanted to say thank you, this has definitely been one of my favorite shoots. You make it easy."

"Wow, there goes that flattery again." I laughed playfully, squeezing his hands. "Truth be told, it was one of my favorites too. I was right about you, you have a gift."

Jasper laughed once and pulled my hands up, kissing each one gently. My heart spluttered in my chest and took off at an alarming rate of speed. I was sure he could hear it hammering against my ribs. I fought the heat that crept to my cheeks, every internal organ turned to mush.

"I was thinking . . . if you give me your number we could hang out the next time I'm in town. My family lives here so I come in quite often."

My stomach flipped and almost pulled me to the ground. I fought to drag in air as I just stood smiling at him. I took my hands from his, opened up my organizer, scribbled my number down and pulled it out handing it to him.

He took the paper from me and slid it into his pocket with a grin. "I really have had a great time, Alice. You're professional but fun, I appreciate everything you've done for me."

"You're welcome, I . . . "

"Jasper," A nasally, high-pitched peel carried across the open field to us cutting me off, and I had to fight not to roll me eyes. It was Maria, legs and all, strolling across the field in four-inch heels; she was looking disgusted about having to walk on grass. My eyes flickered back to Jasper and I noticed the slight eye roll before his breathtaking smile reappeared.

"Maria, baby. What are you doing here?"

"I missed you, you were gone all night. The room was quiet without you there."

"I told you I was staying at my sisters Babe." He said kissing her chastely on the lips as she stopped beside him. Her arm snaked around his waist and she turned looking down at me with a euphoric smirk dancing on her lips.

I smiled briefly at the woman, "Maria,"

"Alice." She said emotionlessly. "Rumor is you'll be at D and G for fashion week."

My mouth dropped slightly. I was amazed how quickly gossip spread, I hadn't even accepted the offer and it had already spread through the models. "Well I haven't accepted yet, but, yes, I will more than likely be there."

Maria sneered at me before turning to Jasper. It seemed our dislike was mutual. "Come on baby, if you're done, let's get out of here."

"Talk to you later, Alice. I hope I get to see you in New York." Jasper said and flashed me his smile before guiding Maria away from me towards the parking lot. I watched as Jasper pulled her onto his back with a laugh and took off across the grass. Her giggling and screaming as he zigzagged through the grass towards trees, turning at the last second, I heard the change in her voice from playful to annoyed, and Jasper slowed down to a walk.

"Promise me we'll never work with that Prima Donna." David said walking up behind me.

"Who, Maria?" I laughed gently. He had no idea; I would happily take anyone over her. "I promise. Have you worked with her before?"

"Yeah, and it's not an experience I wish to recapitulate. The woman thinks she can do no wrong. She rocks the catwalk but can't pose worth a shit; she won't listen to a damn thing the creative director tells her because she thinks she already knows more than them." He added sarcastically.

I laughed once. "Thanks Dave, you just made my day."

"I have no idea what that kid is doing with her. He seems genuinely nice, not Maria's usual type. I have no idea how she got her claws into him."

"Yeah, well she did." I could hear the sadness ebbing from my voice and coughed once. "Productive morning at least."

David wrapped his arm around my shoulder and laughed. "Alice Brandon, you can't hide anything from me. I know you too well."

"Shut up David," I said laughing and pushing him playfully. "I guess we should get on those contact sheets so we can get the proof ready for tomorrow's morning meeting."

"I'll have them on your desk before lunch."

I looked down at my PDA and laughed, "You're going to have them for me in an hour?"

"Already sent them in." He laughed holding out his hands palm up and shrugging. The guy was a godsend in the industry.

"This is why I love you." I laughed picking up the rest of my things and heading towards my car. David chuckled from behind me as he headed back towards the dwindling set.

With the late morning traffic, I arrived back at the office within thirty minutes. Amanda was already back at her desk typing frantically. She looked up and smiled. "David had the contact sheets sent up."

"Are you kidding me, he was still on set when I left." I laughed, thumbing through my messages.

"He called them and gave it priority." She laughed pushing the envelope into my hands. "You know he likes impressing you."

I laughed and took the envelope before I headed into my office and peeled open the flap. The contact sheets had two full sized pictures and note on top of them. I couldn't help but smile.

'_Thought you may like this Alice. It's a good picture. No need to thank me. David.'_

The picture was the one of Jasper and I. His hands were resting on my hips and our eyes were connected, I could easily see the confusion in my eyes, mixed nicely with the adoration, and the attraction. His smile seemed to bask me in a light I hadn't known I possessed. I slapped the picture on the desk and let my head fall into my hands. I peered through my fingers at the picture and shook my head gently.

Bad day didn't seem to cover it anymore. This was possibly the worst day of my life. I picked up my phone and dialed Jacob's work number, hoping he wouldn't start asking questions. I knew I had to confirm our lunch appointment, I couldn't leave it open ended without confirmation.

"Jacob Black."

"Hello Mr. Black," I said keeping my voice light, "How is work this morning?"

"Dull, we put it to bed so it's time to start all over again, I think my mind is finally drying out." He chuckled playfully. "How is your morning shaping up?"

"Had a shoot in the park, good day for it too, it's pretty out."

"Yeah it was pretty when I left this morning." He chuckled. "Not that I'm complaining, but to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Just confirming lunch, I know you work through lunch, and I just wanted to confirm and remind."

"Like I could forget you," he laughed playfully and my stomach fell with a thud. My hand rested on it gently as the emotions once again flooded through me. "You didn't say where you wanted to go."

"I was thinking something light, like sushi or that salad bar that opened up a couple of blocks away."

"Sushi it is."

"You have something against salads?" I asked laughing; I wanted to savor these moments in case he didn't take this as easily as I'd hoped. I knew that he must feel something if he wanted to make a go of things.

"I don't like sharing a diet with a rabbit."

"Jake," I rolled my eyes, "It's good for you."

"Do you really want to waste your morning discussing the pro's and con's of rabbit food, or are you going to get some work done?"

"Excuse me, Mr. I-have-nothing-to-do; I have been working all morning, you on the other hand . . ."

"Can it woman, I will see you at lunch."

"Bye Jake."

"See ya, Alice."

I hung up the phone and place my head in my hands again. I had a feeling this would be either easier or harder than I thought. Doing this face-to-face was going to be the most difficult thing in the world. If he gave me the puppy dog eyes I would cry, if he got angry, I would cry and get angry right back. If he took it well . . . I would know I was doing the right thing.

Nothing in the options made it any easier; and I had no way to prepare myself for the unknown. I just had to get in there and do it. I hated myself for letting it get this far and small pangs of guilt ebbed through me like razor sharp icicles. What a mess to get myself into.

First, I go and screw up my friendship for sex, and I was now carrying his socks and watch around in my purse. Second, I had gone and developed a crush on a taken guy; even saying that was hard, crush was the understatement of the century. Last, but certainly not least, I had lied to my only best friend covering the first up. I needed my head examined.

There was a light tap on my door, and before I could call out it swung open. I smiled at the face mischievously grinning at me from the other side of it.

"Come in, Bella." I requested, smiling at my best friend.

**

* * *

A/N: Happy Monday . . . hope you al had a good weekend. Poor Alice is a little confused, she keeps flip flopping in her mind, and the leggy bitch from hell didn't really help matters much.**

**I really like that you guys have enjoyed the chapters so far and I am so excited as to where this little tale is heading, goldentemptress is an awe co writer and we often have fun throwing ideas at one another ;)**

**Thanks for all the alerts and faves, and of course THANKS TO THE REVIEWERS, BECAUSE YOU GUYS JUST FLOOR US WITH YOUR KIND WORKS AND ACCEPTANCE OF THE OOC SITUATIONS WE HAVE THROWN THESE GALS INTO. SERIOUSLY . . . YOU GUYS ROCK!!!**

**TILL NEXT TUESDAY – MUCH LOVE AND BIG HUGZ – L – **


	10. Socks Are the Antichrist?

**Disclaimer: We don't own Twilight.....but.....I do own a bleach pen.....and I do like to use it.....**

**A/N: So this chapter is a little bit stressful and angsty in the beginning, but it ends with a bang.......(and yes, I do mean it like that.....hehehehe)**

**Oh, and if you guys haven't figured it out yet, yes we are alternating chapters, so you will get two Alice, then two Bella, so on and so on like you have already......keeps it interesting......:)  
**

**Enjoy!**

**As always, thank you all for your wonderful reviews, and PMs.......you all are beyond wonderful readers, so thank you!**

**Yesterday on SFS/APOV:  
**

_I hung up the phone and place my head in my hands again. I had a feeling this would be either easier or harder than I thought. Doing this face-to-face was going to be the most difficult thing in the world. If he gave me the puppy dog eyes I would cry, if he got angry, I would cry and get angry right back. If he took it well . . . I would know I was doing the right thing._

_Nothing in the options made it any easier; and I had no way to prepare myself for the unknown. I just had to get in there and do it. I hated myself for letting it get this far and small pangs of guilt ebbed through me like razor sharp icicles. What a mess to get myself into._

_First, I go and screw up my friendship for sex, and I was now carrying his socks and watch around in my purse. Second, I had gone and developed a crush on a taken guy; even saying that was hard, crush was the understatement of the century. Last, but certainly not least, I had lied to my only best friend covering the first up. I needed my head examined._

_There was a light tap on my door, and before I could call out it swung open. I smiled at the face mischievously grinning at me from the other side of it._

_"Come in, Bella." I requested, smiling at my best friend._

**

* * *

Socks are the Antichrist?**

**BPOV**

"So.....spill. Why exactly did you run out of my house in such a hurry last night?" I said taking a seat in the chair in front of Alice's desk.

"I thought you'd at least figured that much out, Bella. Jasper, my Jasper, is Rosalie's brother." Alice pushed a picture sat on her desk towards me, and nodded to it once.

I picked up the picture and couldn't help but be in awe of it. The way he was looking at her, it was amazing, intense, I was surprised that Alice hadn't stayed last night, I didn't see what the problem was, they were obviously attracted to each other.

"Alice, come on, that should be more reason for you to spend time with him. It's obvious he likes you, I mean, look at the way he is looking at you," I said, holding the picture up for her to see.

"Is this because of that guy you have been seeing? Is that why you don't want to get to know Jasper better? He was really nice; I think you two would be perfect for each other. Edward and Emmett both love him."

Jasper had been more than charming at the cookout; he was truly a very funny and easygoing guy. I could easily see Alice falling for his boyish charm and his unbelievable good looks. He would be the perfect match for her.

"I wish it was because of the guy I was seeing, it might make things easier, but that's a different story entirely. No, it's because Jasper has a girlfriend, _Maria. _She's a model with legs up to her earlobes, Claudia doesn't like her, but Jasper seems to. She's a real bitch."

"Oh god, Ali, no wonder you looked so freaked out when Rosalie said he was coming. I'm sure she's just a phase, he didn't even mention her last night. If his own mother hates her, you know it'll never work," I said, placing the picture back on the desk and reaching forward to take Alice's hand.

I made a mental note to interrogate Rosalie about this Maria person. It was a good sign that Claudia didn't like her, because that meant that it would never really go anywhere serious. She could be your worst enemy if you messed with her; I think that is why she and Rosalie got along so well, they were very similar.

I also found it surprising that Jasper would choose to be with someone who everyone obviously thought was a bitch. He was too nice to put up with someone like that willingly; I would definitely have to talk to Rose about this one. Those two were just as close as Emmett and I were, even though they had only been siblings for half a dozen years.

When I looked up to Alice, she seemed visibly upset, but I couldn't tell if it was about Jasper or something else.

"So is that why you are upset? Or is there something else? You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"It's a large part of it, but there's something else. Bella, I . . ." Alice dropped her head into her free hand and began sobbing quietly, her shoulders shaking gently.

I stood up and walked around the back of her desk, turning her chair so she could face me. I reached forward and hugged her, rubbing her shoulders softly as she continued to cry. Whatever had upset her was obviously very difficult for her to talk about, but I needed to know what it was before I could comfort her.

"Hey, shhhh, it's ok, whatever it is; you can tell me. Are you pregnant or something? I'll be here no matter what."

I knew that it probably wasn't that, but she had been so secretive about her love life lately, anything was possible.

"No, it's nothing like that . . . I just I'm breaking up with the guy I've been seeing. He wants to get serious but I can't, Bella . . . I, I just can't. I'm not in love with him. If I tell you something, will you promise not to be upset with me?"

I let go of Alice for a second and pulled up a chair to sit in front of her. I reached up, grabbed a tissue from her desk and handed it to her. She took it from me and dabbed at her eyes, I was sure that she was probably worried about ruining her makeup, but this was obviously more important than that.

"Ok, go ahead, tell me, I promise I won't get mad, you know I could never stay mad at you," I said, placing one of my hands on her knee.

Alice was always worried about people getting mad at her for the stupidest things. I guess it stemmed from her past relationships with men. People like James and Mike had really done a number on her. Alice was such a beautiful and caring person, and yet throw in a few assholes who don't know a good thing if it slaps them in their tiny junk, or kicks in James' case, and she believes the bullshit they tell her.

"Please don't judge me, I know you never would but I know how this is going to sound . . . The guy I have been seeing, well I haven't really been seeing him. We have an _arrangement_; I was so lonely and we are friends; it happened once and we decided that we should keep doing it. Now he's gone and asked us to make a go of it, but I can't it wouldn't be fair."

"Oh, wow, Alice, I had no idea it was _only_ about sex," I said leaning back into my chair. I actually thought she might _like_ him too. She had told me time and time again that it was just about sex, but I thought that was her way of telling me it wasn't serious.

I was kind of shocked, but I knew that Alice had been lonely since James, and I couldn't really blame her for wanting someone to be with. She hadn't been ready for any kind of relationship since that whole thing blew up in her face, so I could see how she could let herself get into that type of situation.

She sat there quietly and looked at me while I processed the information.

"Well, what are you going to tell him? I mean, it's understandable to want to end it if he's asking more than you can give, but are you sure? Are you sure it could never be like that with him?"

When she had talked about him with me a few times, she had always looked like he was someone special to her. To think that this person was her friend too must make this even more horrible for her.

"No, I love him enough not to want to hurt him, but I'm not _in_ love with him. He's the most amazing guy, and he's damn good in bed, but there's no passion, I don't think I could ever get past that." Alice sighed and her hand fiddled with the picture on the desk. She bit back her tears as her eyes widened in the honesty of the moment. "I think I may have gone and fallen for Jasper . . . Bella, I feel like an idiot, I'm so confused. I barely know him, and he has a girlfriend. You know me; I could never, would never . . ."

I reached forward and pulled her towards me; she settled her head on my shoulder and started to cry. I had never in my life seen Alice Brandon so broken before, she deserved someone to love her, and I couldn't believe how crappy her love life had turned out. First she fell in love with an asshole who had a fiancée, then she got involved with someone only for casual sex, and now she was in love with one of her models who had a psycho girlfriend. My boring life seemed trivial compared to all of this.

After she had calmed down a bit, I leaned back and got her another tissue as she sat back in her chair sniffling.

"Ok, I know you have never wanted to tell me this, but I don't really care anymore. I promise I won't judge you, and I won't be mad, but who is he?"

Chances were I had or would probably meet this man, so I wanted to know exactly who he was so I could know if I needed to beat him or not. I knew that he was probably going to be upset when she broke it off with him, and I didn't want his ego to lash out at Alice, that was obviously the last thing she needed right now; another man taking a chip out of her armor.

"Bella I . . . You'll hate me," she said, covering her face with her hand.

If she thought I was going to hate her, then it obviously was someone that I knew, I wouldn't be mad at her if I didn't know the guy. Whoever this was, it was obviously someone close to me, because otherwise she wouldn't be so reluctant to tell me.

I sat back on my heels for a moment and contemplated what this could all mean, and then light a freight train, it just hit me, and hard.

It all clicked into place, it made sense. I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed it before. They had always been friends, but I couldn't believe that either of them would agree to something like this, it was so out of character for both of them. I wasn't angry, I was just shocked. No wonder he kept asking me about her, and the messages on her desk. It all made complete sense; especially after seeing them in the kitchen yesterday. I felt so stupid.

"Jacob," I said as I let out a huge breath of air I had been holding in.

"Bella, God, I wanted to tell you a million times. I knew it was wrong; and I do love him. We were both so lonely; I hated seeing him like that. We bumped into each other at a bar one night and we started hanging out a lot. One night he came back to the condo, and we started making out. It was always so easy with him, now he wants to give _us_ a go, but nothing has changed for me, he's just one of my best friends. I never wanted to hurt anybody Bella, you have to believe me."

I was listening to the words spewing out of her mouth, but I was still sitting there wide eyed with my mouth hanging open. I mean, I never……wow……Jacob and Alice…..there was an interesting pair. How was that even possible? I mean, she's so small and he's well…..not…..at all.

"My god Alice, how could you.....I mean how could he.....why did you let it get this far?"

My head was spinning after she just confirmed it. Two of my best friends had been for all intensive purposes _fucking_ behind my back. How was I supposed to react to this? I wanted to be mad, but I wasn't, I was just sad that it had come to this. They were both going to be crushed. No matter the outcome, they both got hurt.

Alice pulled her feet onto her chair and buried her head into her knees. She rocked slowly as her sobs picked up again. "You can't hate me any more than I hate myself right now, Bella. I understand if you want to leave. I would hate me too. I'm meeting him at lunch to stop this. I don't know how invested he is in all of this; but I know I will lose my friend. I wish I could make myself love him like that Bella, I wish I could look at him that way and know he was the one. He's so amazing, he's gentle and funny, playful and he makes me laugh all the time; but no matter how much I will myself to want him I can't . . . I want to but I can't. Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with me?"

I stood up and reached around her, she started sobbing again and threw her arms around my shoulders. I couldn't believe that this had all been going on and she hadn't come to me sooner. Alice had a bad habit of putting herself in the middle of precarious situations, but this was just crazy. I would never turn her away from coming to me about this, I mean, I might have smacked some sense into her after I found out, but she was my best friend. Of course I was going to be there for her.

"Shhhh, honey, its ok, I don't hate you.....I'm....uh....I just worry about you. I will be here for you, its ok, I promise I won't take sides. You are both my friends and I love you both, just be honest with him, he deserves that much."

Thinking about Jacob being heartbroken again just made me sad. I had done that unintentionally to him in college. I knew that he liked me, more than he probably should, but I still hung out with him anyways. I warned him about Edward and my crush beforehand, but after we started dating officially, Jacob never looked at me the same. I knew that was when he got close to Alice, but I never knew that they had gotten _this_ close.

"I don't understand why I keep doing this to myself. Why is it so hard for me to find the one person, to find Mr. Right? Bella; do you think I'm emotionally inept? That I am my own worst enemy. Do you think I'm capable of love at all. I feel so useless, like . . . like I'm never meant to find anyone. I work ungodly hours; I insult anyone that even tries to get close to me, then I screw one of my best friends, knowing just how much I'm fucking us both up. Maybe I should be locked in a rubber room so I don't have the ability to hurt anyone else."

I chuckled at her admission; leave it to Alice to think she needed to be locked in a rubber room. She may have made reckless choices, but she wasn't crazy, just lonely, and obviously very sexually frustrated.

"No, Ali, I just think that you need to slow down and consider what you want in life. If you really want a serious relationship, then start by being someone's friend. Maybe just be friends with someone like _Jasper_, who is unavailable, and then work from there. You need to stop throwing yourself at men for sex, I know that's not what you meant to do, but James and Jacob were both like that. You can be friends with a guy and not sleep with them, right Al?"

Alice had definitely inherited her mother's worst personality trait. Katherine Brandon was a gifted fashion designer, who had very, very bad taste in men. Alice's father had died when she was really young, and Alice had been subjected to her mother's never ending stream of boyfriends.

They had always been nice to her, that was never the problem, but they were always men who used her mother, whether it be for company, sex, social influence. Alice's casual regard for intimacy had stemmed from never really having a positive male influence in her life. She had also inherited the tendency to be too trusting. I too suffered from that, but somehow, I had been able to find a man who actually respected me.

I knew that Jacob respected Alice, and that he would never be intentionally careless with her, but lonely people do desperate things, and obviously this arrangement stemmed from that.

"Of course I can; James, well I thought he loved me. Truth be told, I didn't give it up right away. I made him work for it; maybe I knew he was untrustworthy but went against my better judgment. With Jacob; I had been single for almost two years Bell. Two fucking years, I don't even know how to describe it. That first night with Jacob all started because he stroked my fucking cheek." Alice buried her eyes in the heels of her hands before continuing. "I hadn't been touched that gently in a while, James was never . . .well, never gentle. He liked it rough, he scared me sometimes. There were only two before that Jason Groves and Mike Fucking Newton in high school . . . and, well you know how that went."

I laughed as she finished with a smile on her face, I could tell that she was starting to relax, but I still didn't envy the fact that she still had to confront Jacob this afternoon. That was not going to be an easy task.

"I know you aren't all about the sex, I was just teasing you Al. But seriously, just focus on being Jasper's friend. I know you like him as more than that, but just be there for him. If Maria is the love of his life, then support that, no matter how much of a bitch she is. If not, then be there for him when he needs you. If you two are really meant to be, then it will be. You _will_ find someone Alice Brandon, you will not be a spinster, I know it. Just relax and take what life throws at you, and for gods sake, don't sleep with Jake again."

"I didn't plan on it. I knew I shouldn't have last night. He's so affectionate when he's drunk it was hard not to. This morning though, I found his socks, his watch and toothbrush in the condo, and I realized he was serious about trying to make a go of it. Normally the only remnant he was there is an indentation in the pillow. It was like a sign, or an omen depending on how you look at it."

"Oh god Alice, not the socks. You know what that means don't you?" I said, as she looked at me with a confused look on her face. "Socks are like the ultimate sign of commitment, once a man leaves his socks on your floor; that means he's become too comfortable in the relationship."

She laughed at me, and rolled her eyes, so I continued.

"No, seriously, as soon as we started living together, Edward left his socks all over the place, it's like they multiplied, and then after we got married, oh god don't get me started......"

"You're telling me that socks are the antichrist of relationships?" Alice laughed gently. "I guess I can see it, I mean I probably wouldn't mind so much if we were together. It's just he's always been so clean. He takes everything with him. Like I said I would think I was dreaming if it wasn't for the indentation on the pillow."

Oh god, Alice was so clueless, but I guess it was something that only married women would know. The dirty little secret of married men and trading washing _socks for sex_......

"You have no idea, just wait, one day you will know what I mean," I said sitting back into my chair and smiling at her.

I glanced at the clock and couldn't believe that it was actually a quarter 'til noon. Alice was going to have to get ready to go meet Jacob, and I needed to get my article to Suzanna to proof. Lunchtime would be spent at my computer today because I had to leave early to go to a celebration party at a bar tonight for Edward and his fellow interns, now that their exams were over.

"Oh crap Al, I gotta go, I have to work through lunch today, and you need to take care of things," I said standing up from my chair and holding my hand out to help Alice up from hers.

I hugged her tightly and said, "Everything's going to be fine, just be honest with him, I'm sure it will be hard, but I know he will understand."

"I hope your right, Bella, still it doesn't make this any easier. Thank you for being so understanding, and please don't tell Edward. He'll tell Emmett and I can't stand the thought of Emmett knowing about this, you know how he likes to use that kind of crap to make people cringe."

I knew exactly what she was talking about when it came to my brother. He used every bit of intimate knowledge he could find out about a person and turned it into a perverted joke. Sometimes it was truly annoying, but he only ever did it to a person if he cared about them. I guess it was Emmett's way of showing a person he loved them, but it was still annoying, nonetheless.

"He wouldn't tell Emmett, but if it really bothers you, I won't tell him. You are the only person I would lie to my husband for, so you owe me," I said winking at her. "Ok, you go get ready, I want details later, and I promise I won't let on that I know if I see Jacob."

Edward and I had a sort of pact when it came to sharing things with each other. What is said in the privacy of our bedroom; stays in the privacy of our bedroom. I guess it was our version of the old Vegas saying. He never broke my confidence, and I never broke his, it was just how we were. Alice hated it sometimes when she was fishing for juicy gossip, but he was my husband, and therefore my support system, so she understood.

"I don't mind Edward knowing, you two are kind of a package deal, I just don't want Emmett bringing this up if I ever get married." Alice laughed playfully. "I remember the speech from your wedding."

"Yeah, my brother is totally going to scar his son someday," I said laughing and heading towards the door.

Emmett's speech at our wedding had been beyond embarrassing, he brought up the first time I had met Edward, and apparently in my shock at seeing him in a Speedo, I had actually drooled as I was being introduced to him. Then he got into some joke about catching Edward and I talking dirty to each other on the phone, and Edward had to take the microphone away from him. Emmett Swan was born without a filter, and even in a room full of several hundred people, he didn't even bat an eyelash at telling people my dirty secrets.

"Eh, I actually think that's one thing he'll be good at. Sorry, I know you have to go. Thanks Bella, I love you."

"Love you too, Alice, I'll talk to you later....lunch tomorrow?"

"Perfect."

I couldn't believe how hard this all was, I felt so stupid for whining about being a housewife. I was always so jealous of her career, and her power, and all she really wanted was someone to love. I had that, in spades, and I guess that I had taken it for granted. When you find your soul mate when you are in your early twenties, you forget that everyone else is looking for the same thing.

Heading back to my desk in a hurry, I downloaded the most recent draft of my article onto a jump drive and headed towards Suzanna's office.

I could hear the printer going in her office as I approached her door, which was cracked open, and was glad that she was still there. She tended to order take out and eat in her office most days, so I was happy she was following the norm.

Knocking on the door lightly, I peeked my head around the corner to find her talking quietly on the phone. She swiveled her chair around and held her finger up for me to wait, and quickly ended her conversation.

"Sorry, Bella, how can I help you?" she said smiling.

"Hey, I just wanted to give you my most recent draft, I think this one might be it."

"Oh, great, here, just let me download it onto my laptop," she said, holding her hand out.

I gave her the jump drive and she plugged it in quickly while I waited.

"Is it still alright if I head out early today?" I asked, making sure that I was still able to leave early enough to get home and change.

"Of course, Bella, all I need for the rest of this issue is a polished draft, and you are actually several days ahead of schedule. You are doing a great job, I hope you don't use this as a stepping stone, I would hate to lose you."

"Well, I never really gave much thought to doing anything past this," I answered honestly.

I was really enjoying the job; I didn't realize that the magazine industry publishing could be so interesting. Even though it was a fashion publication, it was still nice to feel like I was contributing to the world. There were going to be hundreds of thousands of women reading my words in a few weeks time, and that was something I had always wanted. Sure, it wasn't some epic piece of literature, but people were going to read it, and people might go purchase a book they might not have just by reading my appraisal of it. The power of that was slightly intoxicating.

"I know, its all new, but just so you know, you have done this job way better than any of our other critics, we are actually considering making this a column instead of an issue regular spread. I showed your writing samples and your first draft to the chief print editor, and he loved it. We will know after we get the initial reaction to this issue, but it looks good."

"Oh wow, thank you for the opportunity."

In a few weeks time, I had gone from detailing the grout in my bathtub with a bleach pen, to being considered for a column in a magazine. That was seriously insane…….good…..but insane. My life had always been filled with dull and predictable events. The last time anything spontaneous and unpredictable had happened in my life was when I looked up from reading my book one day in college and my eyes met with Edward.

Now, even though I was married to him, it still seemed like my life had fallen into this slump of predictability.

Meet perfect guy, fall in love, buy dog, get married, buy house, become perfect Stepford wife, spit out 2.4 kids, live in suburban bliss, get old, go senile, die in the arms of your loving husband of over fifty years, the end.

Now it had all changed in a matter of weeks. Who knows what the universe had planned for me next.

"No problem Bella, I just wanted to let you know you are doing a great job. I'll let you know if I hear anything further," she said handing me the jump drive.

I headed back to my cubicle utterly inspired and frantically wrote for the next four hours, before I knew it, the alarm on my phone was alerting me that I needed to head home to change for the party, and I was flying high.

The drive home took shorter than usual, and I made it home before Edward even got there.

As I was pulling off my suit pants to get into the shower, my phone beeped, alerting me to a text message.

_Love, can't make it home, there was an emergency at the hospital, see you there, make sure to take a cab. I miss you._

_E_

I groaned in frustration, but knew that it was inevitable; his work at the hospital had gotten a lot more hectic since he passed his exam with flying colors. He was even hopeful about getting placed at a local hospital for his residency. They wouldn't find out for a few more weeks, but I was happy that we wouldn't have to move.

Quickly ridding myself of the rest of my clothes, I got into the shower and washed as quickly as possible. My mind was swimming with the possibilities that this new change at work had brought with it. I could have my own column, in a nationally circulated fashion magazine, this was HUGE! Screw being a novelist, I would be read nationwide……

Since I was so excited, I actually went through the trouble of putting on sexy makeup and curling my hair. I was going to celebrate tonight, and I planned on getting my husband drunk and horny to join me.

I normally dressed up as the demure little housewife to go to these things, but I was going to go all out. I pulled on a short black pleated skirt, and a dark blue v-neck top. It wasn't slutty, but it definitely accentuated all of my assets. I actually went so much as to pull on a pair of knee high black heeled boots. Edward wasn't going to know what hit him.

By the time I finished getting ready, I heard a honk from outside and realized that my cab was here already. I quickly rounded up my purse and threw my house keys inside and sprinted out to the curb.

The cabby gave me a once over, obviously approving of my outfit choice and I got into the back seat quickly and told him the address of the bar we were meeting at.

When I got there, the place was busy, even though it was only six o'clock on a Monday. I didn't see anyone I knew, so I slid up to the bar, and asked the bartender for a glass of pinot noir. I always got happy drunk on wine, so I figured I might as well get a head start.

While I was waiting, a man sat down beside me, and I instantly recognized his scent. It was something that I had been subjected to more times than I wanted to remember, and the sudden urge to punch something overcame me.

"Hey there," he purred, reaching over to place his hand on the small of my back. I almost expected him to pull out the line 'come here often' next, but James was never really one to sweet talk his one night conquests, he just wanted to look for someone to fuck while he was in town on business.

He obviously didn't recognize me, so when I spun around to face him, he was taken aback by the fury in my eyes.

"Don't even think about it you pig. I, unlike some people, actually believe in fidelity."

"Oh, wow, sorry Bella, I…..I didn't recognize you."

The look on his face was priceless, totally taken aback by my confidence. He had always just treated me as Alice's shy sidekick, little did he know, marriage actually agreed with me. Edward had always encouraged me to be more confident and engaging, unless my confidence was aimed at him, of course.

"Well, you know who I am now, so go find someone else to prey on, James. I'm waiting for my husband."

He smirked as he looked over my shoulder and laughed to himself as he leaned over to whisper in my ear. His hot breath hit my neck and a wave of nausea overtook me as I tried to scoot further away from him. He smelled like cheap liquor and old spice, not an appealing combination.

"Well, well, well….I never knew you were into threesomes Bella, I guess Edward truly is a lucky man."

I spun around towards the door and my face instantly became hot. There was my husband, with the blonde tramp called Tanya hanging onto his elbow, whispering something into his ear. She truly had no shame. Tanya was always trying to throw herself at him every opportunity she got, she had this whole forbidden fruit complex. Well, Edward's 'fruit' belonged to me, and I was not in the mood to share.

"Don't even start with me you asshole," I said to James as I got up and walked towards the door, leaving my glass at the bar.

Edward's eyes lit up as I approached, and Tanya didn't even realize that I was there as she kept talking to him.

I grabbed his hand and roughly pulled him towards me, crashing my lips against his forcefully and weaving my hands into his messy bronze colored hair.

He pushed me backwards slightly and responded with the same fervor, plunging his tongue into my mouth as his hands pulled my hips roughly against his.

I completely forgot where we were until the sound of _her_ clearing her throat caused us to break apart breathing heavily.

"Oh, sorry," he mumbled as he leaned away from me, his fingers tucking a stray lock of hair behind my ear as he gazed into my eyes. They were filled with lust and anticipation, and I knew that my little stunt had done the trick.

I peered over his shoulder and Tanya was practically seething with anger, so I flashed her a knowing grin and raised an eyebrow at her. She narrowed her eyes at me and huffed, she was always acting like an insolent toddler. Why she believed she had a claim on my husband was beyond me, he had made his desires towards her perfectly clear.

_Nice try bimbo, he's mine!_

She stormed towards the bar and ordered what appeared to be a shot, and took it back forcefully as James stared at her in awe. He was obviously transfixed by her over processed blonde hair spilling down over her back as she shook her head afterwards.

Edward kissed me lightly on the cheek and laughed as he grabbed my hand and led me to the bar.

"So love, what was that all about?" he whispered, rubbing circles with his thumb on the back of my hand.

"Oh, I just thought this was a celebration," I said innocently, walking up to the bar and leaning against it.

He stepped up behind me, and placed his hands on either side of me while he whispered in my ear.

"Well, if that was just the start, I can't wait to see how this _celebration_ turns out," he said, kissing me on the neck lightly. I shivered at his touch and he chuckled as he pressed his hips a little more firmly into the back of my skirt.

The rest of the night was a blur, Tanya surprisingly enough didn't say a word to me, and neither did James. They both remained at the bar the entire night, taking shots with each other. She was stumbling around drunk after only an hour, and I was glad that she had found someone else to sink her teeth into. Those two would be a match made in hell.

Edward and I talked with some of the other interns, and we even spent about an hour on the dance floor before he decided that we need to go home. Apparently having his wife wearing a mini skirt and grinding up on his obvious erection kept him from being able to concentrate on anything else. The entire night, at least one of his hands or his lips were making contact with my exposed skin. If I had been younger, or more drunk, I might have dragged him into a bathroom stall, but I the anticipation of having to wait until we were home made it that much better.

As we were getting into a cab, I saw Tanya and James stumble out of the bar, and they climbed into the cab behind us. I turned slightly and saw him kiss her roughly, pushing her against the window of their cab before we pulled away.

Once a man whore, always a man whore, but I could honestly saw that Tanya was getting what she deserved. I hope that she would realize eventually that she was never going to get my husband to return her obvious affection and give up. Maybe being used as James' sex toy would convince her she really was trash.

When we got home, we were both buzzed, and I was feeling a familiar ache between my thighs.

Edward paid the cabby, picked me up bridal style, and carried me to our doorstep as he fumbled in the pocket of his jeans to pull out his keys.

Once we were inside, he captured me in a heated kiss and pushed me back lightly against the stairs. He was just as hungry for it as I was, and I couldn't wait any longer to have him. His tongue entered my mouth and I moan against his lips as he pressed himself into me.

I pulled on the button of his jeans as his hands slid up the skin of my thighs, under my skirt and his fingers pulled aside my panties. I moaned as he pushed a finger inside of me and began pumping as he kissed my neck and exposed collarbone. His other hand cupped my right breast and he ran his thumb over the material of my shirt, instantly hardening my nipple.

His heated touch was making any coherent thoughts fly out of my brain as I became overpowered by our lust for each other. Edward knew how to play my body like an instrument, and I was lost to the sensation of his digits sliding and twisting inside of my wet core.

With shaking hands, I fought with the zipper of his pants, and finally got it down, pulling roughly with both hands until his pants and boxers went down to free his erection. He was up and definitely ready for me as I saw the pre cum start to pool at his tip.

The speed of his finger picked up quickly, and he curled his fingers upwards sending me over the edge. I cried out his name and leaned my head against the step above me as my legs bucked against him. He removed his fingers and roughly pulled down my panties, his hands moving back under my skirt to grasp my hips to pull me towards him once they were discarded.

He didn't even hesitate before he sheathed himself inside of me and firmed his grip on my hips setting a frantic speed. His hot skin was blazing a trail inside of me pulsing, hitting me in all the right places. He angled my hips upwards and continued to thrust, hitting my g-spot over and over as he continued his assault.

My head was spinning and he was forceful, but I loved it, the way he was filling me to the hilt and grunting against my neck. It was so hot and erotic. Our clothes were rubbing up against each other, and my nipples were painfully hard as the material of my bra rubbed against them.

Sex naked, skin to skin, was amazing, but there was something to be said about the friction and heat that built up when you only removed the essentials to go at each other.

"Oh god Bella, I love you so much," he grunted before his entire body tensed sending him into his orgasm. His head arched away from me and his fingers dug into the exposed flesh of my hips under my skirt.

As he pulsed inside of me, the tension that had reformed in my abdomen let loose and I arched my back against the stairs behind me and pressed my pelvis into his forcefully as I clenched onto him and milked out the rest of his climax. My legs were shaking violently, my knees trapped between Edward's body and the stairs.

Once my muscles released him, he collapsed against me panting, and I whispered that I loved him in his ear as I ran my hands through his sweaty hair.

Reluctantly he pulled out of me and tugged his boxers and pants up, not bothering to zip them up before he reached out to help me up. He picked up my discarded panties and carried them in his hand as he pulled me up the stairs.

We intertwined our hands as we headed to the bedroom, both of us trying to regain our breath. Once we were inside, he closed the door and gently helped me pull off my clothes, then took off his own. He picked up the discarded clothing, even the socks, and headed into the bathroom.

I followed him and smiled to myself as he placed the items into the correct bins of the laundry cart. Maybe there was hope for him after all.

He turned around and smiled at me with a familiar smirk, and opened up the shower door to start the water. His back was glistening with perspiration, and with every movement, the muscles would shift and they held my complete and utter attention.

When the temperature was just right, he motioned for me to step in, and he followed shortly behind me, loosely gripping my his as he closed the door behind him.

He kissed me on the neck and I leaned back against his smooth muscled chest as he reached up to grab the bottle of body wash in the shower basket. He squirted some in his hands and returned his attention to my body.

He washed my body slowly with his bare hands as he gently kissed me on the back and neck. His touch was loving and I wandered how I was lucky enough to get such a wonderful husband. Once he was done, he squeezed some shampoo in my hair, lazily lathering it into my long locks. He was very gentle and I closed my eyes and hummed at the sensation.

I washed myself off and returned the favor as I turned to face him. His skin was hot and smooth as I ran my hands across the planes of his defined stomach, and around his backside as I gave him a little squeeze. His eyes were closed tightly and a small smile played on his lips as I continued my path down his lean legs. While I was washing him, I could tell he was enjoying it, because he was quickly getting hard. When I leaned up to wash his hair, he kissed along my neck and pressed his hardness into my stomach as I lathered the shampoo into his messy coif.

We finished up quickly, turning off the warm water after we had both washed off the soap, and as he was drying me off, he whispered in my ear.

"I love it when you get jealous, maybe I will have to have her flirt with me in front of you more often."

"I have no idea what you are talking about Mr. Cullen, I was just excited to see my husband," I said leading him back to the bed. "And if I so much as hear of you flirting to try to make me jealous, there _will_ be repercussions mister."

He laughed heartily, and I put my hands on my hips and scowled at him, so he abruptly stopped and flashed me his innocent pouty face. I shook my head at him and he continued his path towards our bed in all his naked glory.

I made sure my alarm was set and climbed into the bed naked, and he walked around to his side and climbed in, scooting himself towards me until we were facing each other.

He reached his arm around to my back and pulled me towards him, kissing me lightly. When my body was flush against his I could feel that he was pleasantly aroused, and I deepened the kiss, my tongue gently massaging his.

His leg slipped in between my thighs, and he slowly pushed his hip into my center, urging the moisture to reform in my most intimate of places.

His warm hands ran along the exposed skin of my back as his lips continued moving in tandem with my own. I ran my fingers down his sculpted chest and grabbed onto his hip as he lightly pressed himself against me harder.

After a few more passes of our lips, he leaned me back gently and settled himself in between my legs, kissing down my cheek, along my jaw, and onto my neck, earning some breathy moans from me in the process.

The second time that night, we went slow; and he didn't even bother to stop making love to me to find a condom. Edward was loving me, and I couldn't have felt more content in my life.

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**So.....let us know what ya think!**

**Till next time.........**


	11. Technicolor Yawns Over Stepford

**Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight……but will own the DVD I pre-ordered from Barnes and Noble in a few weeks! Mmmmm, generic sparkles……**

**A/N: Hello, Hello faithful readers……we hope you enjoyed our last installment of SFS, here we are with Bella again feeling a little worse for wear…..enjoy!**

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Technicolor yawns over Stepford**

**BPOV**

When I woke up the next morning, I felt sick, but I wasn't hung over. My stomach was gurgling and I thought for a moment while I was in the shower that I was going to throw up. I didn't remember feeling sick before the party, maybe I picked up a stomach bug.

Edward had already left for work, taking a cab to the hospital since he had left his car there. He knew that we would both be drinking last night, so he had shared a cab with the tramp from the hospital to get to the party.

Speaking of the tramp, I hope she made that skank of a man James wrap it up, because he'd probably missed his vaccinations. I couldn't believe what a sleezeball he had turned out to be. He definitely had us all fooled back in the day, but looking back on it; I was disgusted at falling for his false slimy charm, not to mention the number that he had done on Alice's self esteem. She hated thinking of herself as the other woman, and I can't imagine that would have been a highlight for me either.

Walking downstairs to try to find something to calm my stomach, I nearly tripped over one of Bailey's toys; a loud squeal went pealing through the house.

_Ahhh!_

Not only did my stomach feel like it was trying to eat itself, but my head hurt so bad that the dim light coming through the living room curtains was making my temples throb. I hated migraines, and adding it to my already aching body, was not something I was enjoying.

After I ate some plain cheerios, my stomach felt better so I went back upstairs to finish getting ready for work. Something was off, but I couldn't figure out what. Maybe I was just getting early cramps, my period was supposed to be starting soon, but usually the pills made the PMS and cramps bearable.

The morning at work went quickly, and I still didn't really feel any better. Suzanna brought back my draft edited and really only had a few suggestions on how to improve it. I quickly made the changes and submitted it to the copyright department to get approval before I sent it back to Suzanna.

Since we were using the names of books and quotes from Scarlett, we needed to have their use approved by the author's agents and Scarlett's quotes fact checked from hers before we sent it to print. The article still wasn't due until Thursday, but I wanted to make sure that it got out early since this article was pretty much make it or break it for my possible column.

By the time lunch rolled around, I was more than ready to talk to Alice, I was anxious to hear what had happened with Jacob.

I strolled to her office slowly, and when I got there, she was talking on the phone. I didn't want to interrupt, but she sounded happy, I only assumed that she wasn't talking to Jacob, especially with what she had told me about her feelings for him.

I waited until she placed the phone down and stepped into her office. She jumped up from her chair and grabbed me by the arm and shut the door to her office behind her as she dragged me towards the elevators.

"So…." I said once we were in the elevators, hoping that she would clue me in on her weird mood.

"Not yet, I will dish once we get food."

Alice seemed like she was in a good mood today, so I could only assume that either something really good had happened, or that her talk with Jacob went a lot better than expected. She really didn't want to be the one to break his heart, so I hoped that he took it easy on her. Although, knowing Jacob, he probably just dutifully went along with everything she said. When it came to being selfless, he often rivaled me.

We decided to go for sushi for lunch, but the second we walked in the door, my stomach lurched and I ran towards the bathrooms with my hand clasped over my mouth. I barely made it to the stall before my small breakfast revisited my mouth.

I took a few moments to catch my breath and walked out of the stall to see a very concerned looking Alice sitting across from me, perched on the sink.

"Ok, maybe sushi isn't such a good idea," I said as she giggled at me.

"You sure you're ok?" she asked as I leaned against the counter to catch my breath.

"I'll be fine, I just feel gross, give me a minute."

Once I had washed my face with some cool water and dragged a stick of gum out of my purse, she linked her arm with mine and dragged me back out into the restaurant.

Another wave of nausea hit me as we walked out, but I didn't have to got back to the bathroom, and I actually felt better once I stepped into the fresh air on the sidewalk. She led me down the block a few shops over and we stopped at a small café. We had been here before, but usually just for coffee, and Alice must have noticed my hesitation because she flashed me a knowing smile.

"They have really good soup," she said as we sat down at a table.

I smiled weakly and sighed as I waited for the waitress to come over to take our orders. I really wasn't that hungry, but I knew that if I was getting sick, that I was going to need my strength.

"Sorry, I just haven't felt like myself today, maybe I drank too much last night."

The waitress came over before she could respond and we ordered. She got a salad, and I got some chicken and dumpling soup with a large water.

Once our food was in front of us, I knew she no longer had an excuse to stay quiet so I decided to break the silence.

"Ok, you have to tell me, how did it go with Jacob?"

"I was surprised by his reaction, he was visibly upset, but he understood."

I was a little shocked, but I guess it made sense considering it was Jacob. He was always understanding about everything, even when he shouldn't have been.

"What did he say to you?"

"Well, before he said anything, there was a long pregnant pause. I told him that we should stick to being friends, that I loved him but wasn't in love with him. We sat there for a while completely silent, after about five minutes, I started getting nervous and asked him to say something, even if it meant calling me a bitch and yelling at me, and he just laughed."

That definitely sounds like Alice; she always likes to talk situations to death, so having him clam up on her must have been like torture. Although, I couldn't see Jacob calling her a bitch no matter what she did, so I knew that she didn't need to worry.

"Leave it to Jacob to diffuse an awkward situation with laughter, his is definitely infectious. What did he say after that?"

"He told me that he understood. He'd thought it was what I wanted and that as much as he loves me; and as much fun as we have together, he wasn't _in_ love with me either."

Well, that is an interesting turn of events, especially since he was the one to bring up the whole idea of taking their relationship public in the first place. You would think that he would have thought it through before forcing her hand.

"Wow, well that's good right? Are you going to attempt to stay friends, or do you think it's too soon?"

"Oddly enough, I think we'll be fine. We won't be hanging out as much as we have been, but there's really no awkwardness between us like I thought there would be. It was like a mutual cancellation of the agreement. It was strange, really. He gave me a huge bear hug before he left; telling me that we needed to learn how to communicate. Then he told me he loved me and that whoever was able to win my heart was a lucky son-of-a-bitch, and took off. I was stood there dazed for a minute before I was able to laugh if off. Bella, it was so surreal."

I mean, it sounded like Jacob, but still, I could tell that he really cared about her in hindsight. The wistful look on his face he would get when he talked about her, or how his face would light up when she walked near him. At the time I thought that it was just him being friendly, but now that I knew their history, it seemed like so much more.

"Oh my god, that's amazing. You totally dodged a bullet with that one. I am glad that you two were able to work things out so smoothly. So have you decided what you are going to do about Jasper?"

At least if things with Jacob were left in what seemed to be a good light, she wouldn't feel so guilty when she talked to Jasper. Not that she would make a move on him with the bitch princess in the picture, but at least she really could start to see him as a friend. I knew that Rosalie always wanted us to be friends with her step-brother, so if Alice was able to do that, then it would be good for all of us if he came to visit Seattle more often.

"I'm going to take your advice and just be his friend. I can deal with the rest; I think I would rather have him in my life than not at all. I think it'll be good for me to take some time and reflect. I need to get my life back on track; I can't keep running away from my reality. I think that's why I was so upset about Jacob."

"I'm so proud of you Ali; it looks like Jasper coming into your life has really changed things for the better."

It was true, even though Jasper turned out to be taken; meeting him had awoken her to the fact that Jacob was not right for her, and she had gotten out of that situation without it getting any messier. At this point, it seemed like repairing the relationship with Jacob might actually be possible, given some time away from each other.

After lunch, my stomach was still feeling strange, but I didn't feel the urge to throw up anymore, I just felt off. I couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was, I just knew that I didn't feel like myself.

I settled back into my chair in my cubicle and tried to focus on work, because I knew that I needed to make a good impression with this first installment. Suzanna told me that there was no pressure, but I really wanted to prove to her, and myself that I could do this job as well as anyone else. Alice had helped me get it, and I wanted to keep it and earn respect with my own merit; and the thought of having my own column was something I wanted to work towards.

Once the day was over, I headed to the parking garage, and climbed into my little silver Volvo to make the drive home. I always hated driving through rush hour traffic, even though we didn't live that far away, it just always grated on my nerves, and I was so tired that I really didn't have the patience for it. Luckily, seeing Edward's car in the garage calmed me down before I went inside.

When I got there, Edward was sitting on the couch dressed very nicely in a pair of crisp chinos, a light blue checked button up shirt, and a dark blue tie. He had actually gone to the trouble of attempting to tame his hair, and he looked very handsome.

I wondered for a moment if he had planned a nice night out for us and I had forgotten about it, but then he reminded me of something else I had forgotten about while I was stuck in my haze all day long.

"Hurry up, honey, we have to leave in forty minutes," he said as I came over to give him a kiss on the cheek.

Bailey squirmed in his lap and leaned up to lick me on the cheek, her tail beating wildly against the couch. My dog had been a lot more affectionate since I had gone back to work, and I think she might actually have missed me.

"I love you baby girl," I said as she rolled over on her side to let me scratch her belly.

"Leave to go where, Edward?"

Obviously, I had forgotten something, and from the look on his face, it was something big. I guess I should have checked the dayplanner in my briefcase today, I knew I had felt this strange compulsion to check it earlier in the day, but figured that I was just being paranoid.

"You forgot? Bella, my mom's birthday, we are going over there for dinner."

Edward didn't appear to be upset, he just seemed to be mildly amused. He loved it when I totally spaced things because it meant that I actually acted like a normal person for once. He said it wasn't natural to be so responsible all the time, and I only wished that he would look in the mirror, he was the epitome of an uptight control freak.

I grumbled and closed my eyes, leaning my head against the back of the couch. I couldn't believe that I had actually let myself forget Esme's birthday, I felt so stupid. At least when I was in my right mind, I had thought to wrap her present, because there was no way that I had time to change and mess with giftwrap. Knowing my luck, I would have just ended up slicing off the end of my finger and going to the hospital, again.

"Are you feeling alright love?" he asked, his hand running over my cheek.

He pressed his hand against my forehead and sighed.

"You are a little warm Bella, are you sick?"

"I don't know, I just haven't felt normal today, I'm sure it's just a bug. I'll go get ready, her present is wrapped in the hall closet, on the top shelf, get it out while I go change."

Esme Cullen was a wonderful woman, don't get me wrong, but she had a definite way of making me feel inadequate. I was never going to be the perfect hostess, and I knew for a fact that I wasn't ever going to be a perfect mother. I still wasn't exactly sold on the whole idea yet, I was going to use my nephew as a test drive when he came along. I figured that if I could take care of my brother's child for a day then I might not totally screw up my own child someday.

I trudged up the stairs and changed out of my suit into a knee length cap sleeved navy blue dress. It had a boat neck and was clingy, yet not too tight. The dress was sophisticated, yet still me; and I knew that it was something that would get the Esme seal of approval. Even after all these years, somehow I still wanted her approval and acceptance.

I had always been the one to take care of my mother when I still lived with her, and Esme was the complete opposite of her. She was the epitome of a perfect wife, mother and business woman. My mother was flighty, and couldn't even remember to pick up her own dry cleaning. She probably would have starved if she hadn't married my step father, or worse, lived on Chinese takeout for the rest of her life.

"Hey there," Edward said as he snaked his arms around my waist and laid his head on my shoulder while I was looking at myself in the full-length mirror on the closet door.

I smiled weakly, and my stomach flipped, but not in a good way. I clasped my hand over my mouth, and fought from his grip and ran towards the water closet. My heart was beating frantically as I heaved into the toilet, and I could hear Edward following me when I fled.

He rushed up behind me and held my hair as I got sick again, rubbing his hand over my back until I calmed down.

"Are you ok, love? We can go another time if you don't feel up to it, she will understand."

I sighed and pushed myself up from the floor and he held onto my arm as I steadied myself. I hated throwing up, it was so horrible, and the taste of bile in my mouth was making me feel queasy all over again. My hatred of all things vomit were a major reason that I usually never let myself drink to excess. One time in high school spending the entire night with my head resting on the toilet seat was more than enough for me, I still can't look at a bottle of tequila the same way.

"No, it's ok, I just have a stomach bug, I'm sure it will go away."

He smiled at me and kissed me on the cheek, helping me back to the sink. I knew that the doctor in him was itching to examine and analyze me, but he knew that I would just get irritated, and we had somewhere to be this evening.

I brushed my teeth and drank a full glass of water before I went into the closet to retrieve a pair of navy blue ballet flats. I didn't have the strength to wrestle with heels, being sick and clumsy were never a good combination.

Once I was fully composed, I made my way downstairs and Edward followed. I grabbed the present off the kitchen island and headed towards the garage. Edward opened my door and helped me into my seat before he hurried over to the driver's side and buckled himself in, instantly grabbing my hand and rubbing circles across the back of it.

He was always very attentive when I was sick; even though I was sure I was a horrible patient. I knew that it came naturally to him, being a doctor and all, but having him dote on me was actually endearing. He, on the other hand, made a terrible patient, and the fact that he had an excellent immune system was a godsend, because a sick, whining Edward made me want to pull my hair out.

It took us about a half hour to get to the Cullen's house on the water just north of the city. It wasn't really a house, it was more of a mansion, but they were always understated in their wealth. Sure, they had multiple nice luxury cars in the garage, and a sprawling five bedroom house, but they never acted like snobby rich people. They even rented out their beach house in the Hamptons during the off-season because they didn't want to seem to pretentious, and figured that it was good for people to be using it frequently.

I hadn't even known that Edward came from money until he took me home for the first time once we had been dating for several months. He never acted like a spoiled rich kid; he even had a part time job as a waiter. It wasn't until I had to sign a prenuptial agreement that I even knew what the net worth of his family was. It never mattered to me, but people in college had often teased me about it, saying that I had snagged myself a good one. They were right, of course, but the reason Edward was a keeper had nothing to do with the size of his bank account.

My parents had both been appalled that I was signing one, but I didn't really see what the big deal was, prenuptial agreements only became an issue in the case of a divorce or infidelity, and neither of those were an issue for me. I didn't ever plan on falling out of love with Edward, and we loved each other too much to go to anyone else.

It expired after ten years anyways, so it was more to protect the family than me. His father and grandfather had millions in investments and I knew it was just a piece of paper protecting the money his family had earned over the years, money that didn't belong to me anyways. The only thing that mattered to me was that our children would be provided with the best that life had to offer.

I never wanted his family to think that I was a gold-digger, because I wasn't, so I never hesitated to sign it, and Esme had even had a talk with me about how she had told her son at a very young age that whoever he married would have to sign one, no matter who they were. That actually made me feel a little bit better about the whole thing, because she was telling me that to make sure that I knew that they still loved me and wanted me in their family, and that a prenup was just a formality.

"Bella, we're here," Edward whispered, leaning over to tuck a stray lock behind my ear.

My stomach had started feeling better, so I smiled and squeezed his hand before I got out of the car. I was trying to will myself to be in a better mood, because I didn't want to ruin the birthday festivities. Even though Esme intimidated me, she really was someone who I liked. She was funny, and warm, although she did occasionally step over her boundaries when it came to Edward. Luckily, Edward was no momma's boy, so he often took her advice with a grain of salt.

He grabbed my hand as we headed towards the front door, and squeezed it before he reached for the handle. He had the present tucked securely underneath his other arm. I took a deep breath as the door swung open and plastered a smile on my face before we took the few steps inside.

As soon as we walked in the door; Esme was bolting toward us, her arms wide open. She was definitely a very affectionate person, which had initially thrown me off the first time that I met the Cullen's but I guess having Emmett as a brother made it easier for me to accept her hugging.

"Oh my babies," she said as she took us both into an embrace.

Esme considered me just as much her child as Edward, which was comforting. She had become a real mother figure to me over the years, even telling Edward once when we were dating that if he ever broke up with me that she would gladly trade Edward to have me as her daughter. I could tell that she always wanted to have more children, but they were only blessed with the one. She had only had Edward, after a very difficult pregnancy, and I knew that she considered me her daughter, even if it was only by law.

"Hi mom, happy birthday," Edward said as he kissed her on the cheek.

"Happy birthday Esme," I chimed as she released us.

She giggled and her gaze fell to the package under Edward's arm.

"Oh, a present, you know you didn't have to get anything," she said, grinning from ear to ear.

Esme was a big fan of presents, and even though she was convinced we needed to save our money until Edward started making a steady salary, I always prided myself in picking her out good presents. Edward was always amazed that I seemed to get her the perfect gift for every occasion. I usually just tried to find things that she had mentioned to me in passing, or for several years, I had taken present buying as an opportunity to upgrade all of her kitchen gadgets. She could buy anything that she wanted for herself, but somehow, she had never gotten into the new kitchen technologies. She had been amazed last Christmas when we bought her an electronic pressure cooker. To be truthful, I had purchased it more for her safety than anything else, because her old one was older than Edward and made scary noises whenever she used it.

"It's your birthday, of course we had to get you a present," I said as we followed her towards the kitchen.

Even on her own birthday, Esme was still the perfect hostess. Somehow, she found the time to not only work, but arrange the perfect dinner party as well. She had laid out the china on the large mahogany dining room table, and the food in the kitchen smelled delicious.

After chatting with her in the kitchen for awhile; she had us go into the den to listen to some music while she finished up and we waited for Carlisle to get home. Edward put on some classical music and settled us into one of the large worn leather couches, pulling me into his side and running his fingers through my long hair as I closed my eyes and absorbed the music.

Carlisle had been working frantic hours at the hospital lately, and Edward had been assisting him on some surgeries. Even though he was his son, Carlisle was still very hard on Edward, often criticizing him in front of the surgical staff. It stressed Edward out to no end, but he didn't expect to get easy treatment from him, and I think he secretly enjoyed the punishment.

As the soft music wafted through the air, Edward began to hum along with it, practically lulling me to sleep as we waited for Esme to call us to dinner.

Carlisle came home after about ten more minutes, greeting us both before he went upstairs to freshen up.

He was the epitome of a professional society husband, and he was the perfect match for Esme. His parents were still madly in love after thirty plus years, and I envied their grace and ability to charm a room. Carlisle's charm had definitely rubbed off on Edward, and sometimes I hated his ability to talk his way out of a situation. He knew exactly how to dazzle me into submission, most of the time.

Dinner was laid out on the table at precisely seven o'clock, and we took our usual seats across the table from each other, while Esme and Carlisle sat at each end. Esme was completely strict when it came to formal dining etiquette, insisting that the table seating be balanced. I usually prided myself in bringing Emmett and Rosalie to dinner parties, so Edward and I would actually have a chance to sit next to each other.

"So Bella, we hear that you are now gainfully employed dear. How is that going?" Esme said as we all began to eat.

I swallowed my bite of filet quickly, which plummeted to the bottom of my irritated stomach, before I answered. Esme had been on the fence when it came to me pursuing a career; I knew that she understood that having something to do would keep me focused, even if we didn't need the money. She had even tried to get me to do some work with her on the philanthropies that she worked with, but being stuck in a room with other society wives had never appealed to me. They were all so catty, and the fact that I didn't come from money seemed to be a morbid fascination to them all.

"Well, it's actually very interesting. I am working as a literary critic for the magazine at which Alice is an editor. It has been really very challenging so far; I even had the opportunity to interview a celebrity for my first piece."

"Oh wow dear, that's wonderful, I'm sure you will do well in that position. You always have had your head stuck in a book," Esme replied with a giggle.

Edward snorted across from me, and I kicked him in the shin. He was always making for of my affinity for books, and it was irritating.

"Actually, earlier this week I was approached about being a columnist for the feature, they are considering reworking the layout."

"That's excellent Bella," Carlisle intervened, as Esme made little clapping motions while she chewed.

Edward gave me a confused look, and said, "You never told me that. When did you find out about this?"

"Oh, wow, I totally forgot, well I found out before I met you for your party, it was my reason for _celebration_."

He laughed and a familiar twinkle appeared in his eye at the word celebration, and I knew that he had plans for when we returned home later on.

"So I hear that you two had a wonderful time at Rosalie's baby shower," Esme said as she flashed me a sly smile.

I knew that look, it meant that I was about to be bombarded by questions about infants and my plans of carrying one, a subject that I always felt uncomfortable talking to Esme about when Edward was around. His opinions on the fact never wavered, and I knew that it just pushed his buttons when she wouldn't take the hint.

"Yes, it was entertaining, Rosalie received lots of blue, I am sure my nephew will have a wardrobe to last his entire infancy in style. Alice really helped me pull it together. I really wished you would have been able to make it."

"Well, I wish we would have too, but Carlisle's conference was already scheduled before we got the invitation. I hope that Rosalie received my gift."

Rosalie's shower had been schedule to fit into her own schedule and the ones of the alumni from the sorority, when I had sent out the invitations, Esme was the last person I had considered when it came to the date, given that she was only associated by law to Emmett and Rosalie. I had gotten an earful from Edward about that, but I was actually secretly glad that I didn't have to endure his mother's scrutiny.

"I'm sure that she did, I can check this weekend when I go over to help her finish the nursery."

Esme smiled brightly, with the same "why don't you make me a grandmother" look on her face, and suddenly I was not so hungry.

"Well, maybe someday I can help _you_, with a nursery Bella; you know how I like to plan a space," she said with a devious grin on her face.

Edward and I both simultaneously choked on a sip of water and I could feel my face flush with embarrassment as Edward looked at me with a horrified expression on his face. Usually she was more subtle than this, but apparently the thought of me becoming an aunt went hand in hand with the thought of me having my own child.

"Mother, we actually haven't planned on that happening anytime soon. You will just have to be patient," Edward said as he tried to recompose himself.

"Bella I was about your age when we conceived Edward. Twenty five is a good time to start having babies."

I hated it when she cornered me about this subject, we had explained it time and time again in the past year that now was not the time, but she just wouldn't give it up.

"Esme, I appreciate your input, but we have decided that it's best to wait a little longer," I said winking at Edward.

"So," Carlisle said, breaking the awkward tension at the table. "Edward, tell us about your exams. How do you think you fared on them?"

Thank god! Carlisle always did have a way of steering the conversation away from awkward or undesirable topics, and I was glad to be out of the spotlight. As he continued to talk to Edward about his exams, and his plans for his residency, Esme turned towards me with a smile on her face, and I could only imagine what she was plotting now. That woman always had a hidden agenda for our visits, and I knew that she probably was going to spring something on me.

"So Bella, I was wondering if you and Edward had any plans for Halloween."

I furrowed my brow and thought about it for a second. I had no idea why she would be asking me about such an obscure holiday, but I knew she had to have had a reason.

"No, not anything that I know of, why?"

"Well dear, as you know, Carlisle and I host an annual gala every fall for the cardiac wing at the hospital."

"Ok," I responded, knowing that the gala was usually held during the spring.

"This year we have decided to move it to the fall, and we were wanting to have a Halloween Masquerade Ball. The reason I am telling you this is because I wanted you to speak with Alice and Rosalie about maybe involving their employers in the implementation of the party. Usually we have a few corporate sponsors and then leave the admission as the public donation."

"I can talk to them for you; I know that our issue is still a few weeks out and maybe I could get them to donate some ad space. Alice would probably be the best to talk to the advertising department. I am not sure how involved Rosalie will be with work since the baby is coming, but I can have her call you, maybe she can get someone from her firm to work up a contract for you," I offered, wondering why she came to me with this when she had plenty of contacts in the industry herself.

"That would be wonderful dear, but I really wanted to see if you would be interested in helping me plan the party. It will be a themed ball; we were thinking maybe doing a traditional Renaissance themed masquerade."

"Well, I don't know how much time I will have with work, but I can try to set aside some time. What exactly did you want my help with?"

"I was wanting you to be in charge of trying to attract some people in your age group, usually these parties are dreadfully boring, and we were wanting to involve the up and coming youth of Seattle in the gala this year. Since you are now involved in the work force, and with Edward still being tied to the university med school, we were wanting you both to seek out a younger generation of donors."

Well, it seemed easy enough, and she was right, I usually hated going to the gala, because all of the stuffy blue haired old ladies with too many diamonds usually annoyed the shit out of me. The idea of a masquerade actually sounded like a lot of fun, I knew that Alice would jump at the chance to help.

"That sounds like a great idea, let me talk to Alice and Rosalie first, but I would love to lend a hand," I said, actually getting excited about the prospect.

The rest of the evening consisted of Carlisle and Edward talking shop, and Esme grilling me about my new position at the magazine. She seemed genuinely interested, and it was nice to talk to her about it because Edward usually got this glassy look to his eyes after I got too in depth about what I was learning about the publishing industry. I was sure it was probably the look I gave him when he talked about medical procedures, so I let it go.

By the time we moved to the den to open presents, I was both physically and mentally exhausted.

Esme received some pieces of handmade pottery from Edward and I from a street fair that I had attended with Alice over the summer. From Carlisle, she received an "upgrade" on her already striking engagement ring.

As if a carat and a half were not enough, she was given a three carat diamond ring with two side stones that were larger than the center stone in my own ring. It was her third engagement ring, because Edward has lost her first one when he was a toddler. Apparently, he had an affinity for "cleaning up" as his mother put it, which usually meant hiding anything of value he could get his hands on. Once he got his tiny little hands on it, it was never seen again. Even when they moved out of their old house, the ring never materialized, it was as if it disappeared into thin air.

After we had spent the appropriate amount of time visiting with his parents, we decided to head back home. I knew that we were both tired, and he had an early shift, so we both needed our rest.

I must have fallen asleep in the car, because I vaguely remembered being carried into the house and up to the bed.

"Mmmm, Edward, I'm sleepy," I mumbled as he struggled to get my dress up over my head.

"Shh, love, I know, lay down, you can go back to sleep now," he whispered as he laid me back against my pillow and pulled the covers up over me.

The last thing I remembered before sleep claimed me was him pulling me tightly against his bare chest, kissing my on the cheek and whispering, "I love you my Bella."

My dreams that night were mixed; varying from nightmares about wading through a sea of diapers, to imagining myself on a deserted private beach with my naked husband. I always had the most bizarre dreams when I was sick, so I was sure that they were all a product of my clouded mind.

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A/N: Ok people, I know that there will be a lot of speculation over this chapter, and I can just say that you have to be patient because all will be revealed in a few weeks, so no, I won't answer any questions about it…….:)**

**Next up, Alice……splish splash….takin' a bath……;)**

**And for those of you wondering about the title……yes, Technicolor yawn is code for throwing up……and well, we all know that Esme is a good little Stepford……;)**


	12. Bubble Bubble Toil & Trouble

**Disclaimer: **_**Everything Twilight, including hot Jasper, and a morose Jacob, belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer. . . . All the other copyrighted names belong to their rightful owners, and couture is our small world amidst it all . . . aren't we lucky ;)**_

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Bubble, Bubble, Toil and Trouble**

**APOV**

My condo was even drearier than usual; it seemed to mock me as I walked through the emptiness and closed the door of my small safe haven. I was alone every night but it was as though the memory of Jacob lingered. As ridiculous as it sounded, I missed him; at least I missed the idea of somebody.

I turned on my TV and turned up the volume, trying to drown out the ringing of the silence that seemed to follow me. This was ridiculous; I came home and did the same thing every night, but just because I knew nobody was coming over, I was being completely paranoid and needy.

I had called Shawn at Dolce and Gabbana and agreed to help him during fashion week. I had mulled over it for twenty-four hours, and I asked Bella about it at lunch today. She'd helped me make the decision and she had agreed that getting out of Seattle for week could only help me. The only down side would be running into James and his blushing bride. I didn't buy that fact that they "Hadn't worked out" for a second. I knew how his mind worked. He was looking for a quick fuck and he thought I was the ticket. _Asshole._

I decided that TV wasn't something I needed right now so I headed into the bathroom and turned on the faucets of my spa bath adding a small amount of scented salts and other smelly goodness. It was the reason I had chosen this condo to begin with. If I was going to pay the price of living in the city, I was going to make sure I got my money's worth.

I strolled into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of red wine into one of the stem-less wine glasses Bella had bought me as a house-warming present and picked up my PDA with it. I hated bringing my work into the tub, but I hated getting out even more. I put them on my vanity stool and pulled it closer to the tub so I had easy access.

I let the water fill above the jets and then twisted the timer, the hum of the motor kicked in before it began turning the water in the tub; it was one of those distinct sounds that seemed to relax me. I plugged my iPod into the docking station and turned on one of my favorite albums. I'd discovered it on one of my photo shoots and it always relaxed me.

I kept it low so it was playing in the background, and pulled off my clothes throwing them in the hamper. I stepped into the bubbling water and lowered myself into the warmth of it. My entire body was submerged as I turned off the cold water and let the hot continue a steady trickle. I loved hot water but I hated having to climb into it.

I pulled my towel under my head and closed my eyes, letting every one of my muscles relax in the heat. The scented steam rose slowly from the water dancing around me as I drug in deep cleansing breaths. My breathing slowed as the humming continued, and the music played softly. This really made everything seem so much better.

I reached out and took my wine from the stool. It was my favorite, cabernet sauvignon. I hummed along with the music as it filled my bathroom; occasionally sipping on the glass of wine that was situated in the hand I had hanging over the edge of the tub.

It wasn't so bad being single; I got to do things like this without being bothered. It would be nice to have someone rubbing my feet, but I was fine without it. I almost laughed out loud at myself; it wasn't just _someone_ that flooded my thoughts, it was _one_ person, a his name was Jasper.

"Stop it, Alice," I sighed out loud, taking another sip of wine. I had been fighting my subconscious since the last day of the photo shoot. I couldn't let him flood my mind and consume my thoughts the way he did. It wasn't as though he had a choice, but I did, and I had to stop myself constantly as his face flooded my minds eye.

I couldn't understand how he had such a profound effect on me, I mean, sure, he was charismatic, gorgeous and had as much sarcasm as I did; but he had a girlfriend. I could have sworn he'd been flirting with me just as much as I flirted with him, that was the most confusing part of all this.

His lips were the most prevalent thing in my mind right now . . . that was the waters fault; It continually lapped up against my skin making it hyper sensitive and tingly. The heat was absorbed immediately by my damp skin.

I closed my eyes and finally just let go, in my mind, I was the only one who was going to get hurt. It's not as though he would remember any of this.

So I let my mind trail off as I recounted his features, his strong jaw, blue eyes, chiseled nose. My free hand that was resting on my stomach traveled further south. Jasper's smile called out to me in my mind, my breathing deepened as my hand traveled over my wet skin. All I could see was Jasper's face, his muscular body, and the defined v that traveled purposefully towards his groin . . .

_Who's gonna save my soul now_

_Who's gonna save my soul now_

_How will my story ever be told now?_

_How will my story be told . . ? _

The haunting lyrics and earthy sound of Gnarls Barkley filled the bathroom, coupled with the annoying buzz of the vibrating on the phone. I sat upright, flustered and embarrassed as though I had been caught in the act. I guess I had to some extent, the wine glass fell to the beige carpet and spread the wine out in small crimson spurts.

"Double fuck!" Now I had to hire carpet cleaners or one of those stupid machines to do it myself. The bath-water was still rocking from my quick movements as I pulled the phone from the vanity stool and hit send.

"Hello," There was a slight aggravated tone to me voice as I called out the greeting.

"Alice?" The smooth satin tone made my stomach flip and my thighs rub together. It was the man I had just been fantasizing about. I was glad he couldn't see the blush that flared over my cheeks. That wouldn't be obvious at all.

"Hey, Jasper, I didn't expect to hear from you so soon." I slapped my forehead at my smooth words. I was an idiot, I was supposed to be making an effort at being his friend. I just sounded like some nervous teenager who'd been propositioned by her crush. Not far from the truth, granted, it didn't stop the mental image though.

"I'm sorry is it too late?"

"No, no," I smiled at his polite demeanor. "Just surprised to hear your voice."

"Good surprised or bad?"

I giggled into the phone, "Good, I'm glad you called actually, David sent me those pictures from the last day of the shoot, I wanted to email them to you, but I don't have your email address."

"Were they good?"

"I liked them," I smiled, shifting my body making the water slosh around again.

"Are you in the bath?" Jasper laughed huskily. I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of it as it clouded my mind. Life was a heartless, scorned bitch. I wonder what I had done to deserve this torture.

"It was a long day and I have one of those Jacuzzi tubs, sue me." I laughed, wishing I hadn't deposited my wine on the carpet. I could use some liquid courage about now.

"Now I'm jealous," he sighed playfully. A long paused filled the line, and I couldn't account for his thoughts, I couldn't even see his face to attempt to decipher them; but I knew mine were less than wholesome, and it included him, in the tub, naked. I shook my head to dispel the thoughts.

"Alice," The deeper huskier tones weren't lost on me, and they way he said my name almost elicited a moan from me. I was seriously loosing my mind. "I just wanted to call and thank you for the opportunity, I enjoyed working with you and I hope I can again in the future. I also hope we can be friends, I enjoy your company."

"Thanks Jasper," I shook my head and closed my eyes, wishing I could confess every thought I had ever had to him. Maybe he was put in my life to torture me for what I had done. "I really enjoyed spending time with you too, and I think after the Polo brand see what I have in store for them, you're going to be kept pretty busy."

Wow genius, you talk about work! Change the subject dumb-ass.

"So how long are you in town for?" I asked, pulling my knees to my chest. It was my natural defenses kicking in; when I felt overwhelmed I made myself smaller.

"I'm actually leaving tomorrow. Maria has to be in New York to get fitted for the designers she's walking for. I wanted to spend some more time with my family, but Maria asked me to be there, I kinda feel obligated."

Obligated? Did that mean he did it simply to appease her? _It's none of my business_, I told myself trying to think of something witty to say. Nothing came. Sarcasm was the main focus of my mind as I rifled through it for something to say. _Maria's needy huh_? Nope, that wouldn't work.

"That's what boyfriends do I guess." _Friends say shit like that right?_

"I guess," he laughed awkwardly. "She's got a bad reputation, I know that and I appreciate you being nice enough to skip over that, Alice." I could hear the, but . . . on the edge of his tongue but I didn't press him to say it.

"That's what_ friends_ are for Jazz," I laughed; _did I really drop the f-bomb again?_

Jasper chuckled into the other end of the phone, and I couldn't help but smile at the sound, his voice was crystal clear and gentle. I hated the cosmic universe for doing this to me. Why was I so attached to someone I could never have? It seemed unfair.

"So did you accept the offer with D and G?"

"I did, as a matter of fact, I called Shawn today and accepted. He sounded excited, so hopefully I can pull off whatever it is he expects from me." I laughed; my palm ran over the now placid surface of the bath water, the timer had just clicked off and the water had calmed. I watched the ripples that trailed behind my hand.

"Maybe I can take you out for a drink while we're there. I know some great hole-in-the-walls. I think we could have fun."

"Sounds great, I don't get to see much of New York while I'm there, I'm usually in and out within a matter of hours. It'll be nice to finally explore a little."

"When are you leaving?"

"Um, I'll have to check my schedule, but I think I am arriving the Sunday before so I can watch the construction of the stage and do some test runs. Get some test shots. I have your number now so I'll text you and let you know if you like."

"Yeah, there's plenty to keep you occupied the entire time you're there, believe me, I've had plenty of time to explore." He laughed, almost sounding cynical about it.

"What do you mean?" I asked, wondering if I had over stepped my carefully formed boundary by asking.

"Let's just say I have a lot of free time on my hands. Maria doesn't like me to watch her working."

"But she wants you to be there?"

"Exactly, and considering she works almost the entire duration, you can imagine how tedious it can be. Anytime you got to Milan or Paris, London or Rome; let me know and I'll show you the highlights."

I bit my tongue, Jasper didn't sound as happy as I had assumed he was. Maybe being his friend wasn't a bad thing at all, I wouldn't encourage him to do anything, but listening to him vent his frustrations made me realize that this wasn't the fairy-tale romance I had assumed it was to begin with.

"I just miss my family; my sister is pregnant with her first child, and according to my new brother-in-law, I missed the exorcist part of the pregnancy. Seeing Rosie look less than perfect would have made my millennium, it was sibling torture, something to tell my nephew . . . " he laughed gently.

I laughed in response, that sounded just like Emmett. _Crap!_ With that thought came the overwhelming guilt. He was talking about my best friends and didn't even know it. Yet I did, I should just tell him the truth, but he sounded so liberated as he vented. I was yet again torn, was now the time to come clean?

"Yeah, I can't believe I missed my sisters wedding. I told them I had a job in Milan. I didn't want them to hate Maria any more than they already did so I lied. She was the one rocking the catwalk while I sat on my ass in a hotel room. Sorry, I didn't mean to lay this on you, I think it's just been a long time coming."

"Vent away sweetheart," I said leaning forward to turn up the hot water; the water was already getting cold. "I know how it can be, it's just easier to get it off your chest so you can move on."

"I just wish she could be less selfish, I spend so little time with my family. I hate to think about how much of my nephew's life I'm going to miss out on if this keeps up."

"Can't you just put your foot down and tell her that you can't keep running around after her. I don't mean to intrude on something I know nothing about, but isn't the foundation of most relationships honesty?"

"It is, and maybe you're right. Maybe I just need to be honest with her. If she doesn't know there's a problem, she can't do anything about it."

I am such an idiot . . . did I just talk him out of leaving Maria? I leaned my forehead against my knees and bit my lower lip. I hated this, I hated that I couldn't tell him to dump the bitch and move on. I hated myself and my own morals in this one minute; if I wasn't that person I could've easily told him how I felt and what I wanted.

Even if I was able to say that and he did want to give it a try, I knew there was always a chance that he could wonder if he'd made the right decision. Whether it was a year or ten down the road. I had to just be his friend, and I could do that.

"Alice, you still there?"

"Yeah, sorry, Jasper, got lost in my own thoughts for a second."

"No problem. I must be boring you half to death, and I'm sure the water is freezing by now. So much for a relaxing bath."

"It's certainly been the most interesting bath to date." I laughed gently, closing my eyes.

Jasper laughed again making my stomach flop around in my body. I hated that it betrayed me so easily. I was just glad he couldn't see the blush crawling into my cheeks.

"I have to head out, but thanks Alice. You really helped me out."

"I enjoyed talking to you, we should do this more often."

"You have my number now," he laughed again. "Don't forget to let me know when you'll be in New York."

"I won't. Goodnight, Jasper."

"Goodnight, Alice."

I heard the shuffle as Jasper moved the phone from his ear before hitting the end button. I hit the end button on mine and slammed my phone onto the seat of the vanity stool before wrapping my arms around my legs. I was glad no one was around to witness how pathetic I was. The tears slid down my cheeks and dropped into the newly heated water that surrounded me.

There was no relaxing anymore. Turmoil bubbled inside of me and I all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep, and it was only nine o'clock.

I pulled myself out of the tub and got dressed, making sure to put baking soda on the spot where I'd spilt my wine. I hit all the lights and crawled into bed, not even bothering to turn the TV back on.

I curled into a ball and fell asleep, letting the darkness lap at my mind before it consumed me completely.

*****

I woke up actually feeling better than I had. My little pity party last night had given me more sleep than I'd gotten in months. I almost felt chipper; that was until my PDA dinged notifying me that I had a text message.

_Alice; Thanks for the advice. Looking forward to New York. - J._

I smiled, if Jasper was meant to be nothing more than a friend then so be it. I would do everything in my power to be as good a friend to him as I could. I enjoyed his company enough to suffer through my little crush. If I had to listen to him talking about Maria, it was a sacrifice I could endure.

Bella would be proud. I dialed her number and listened as it rang. Her voice was hoarse and grainy when she answered. It sounded as though she was still sick.

"Hey Al," She sounded tired and weak. Something I wasn't used to hearing in her voice, it concerned me a little.

"Bella, you sound like shit. You still not feeling well?"

"Al, let me call you back . . ." The line went dead and I looked at my phone. Bella had been sick at lunch yesterday too. We'd walked into the Sushi bar and it had sent her directly to the bathroom. I sat on the sinks listening to her wretch. That was nothing new, I was used to puking Bella. I'd been with her the first time she'd gotten smashed and cleaned her up before taking her back to my house. Charlie would have seen right through her bad acting, and being the police chief, he wouldn't have been happy about the state his daughter had been in, let alone the public intoxication of his under age daughter.

I got showered and dressed, and headed to the office. I had things to do before I left for New York and I was still flying low on the radar because James was still in town. The thought of bumping into him again was enough to turn my stomach.

"Morning Alice," Amanda's bright voice greeted me as I unlocked my office door.

"Coffee?"

I grinned and nodded as I pushed my door open. The girl was a god send, coffee wasn't in her job description, but she always seemed to either have it or be on her way to get it when I arrived.

I sat behind my desk and fiddled with the mock up I'd put together. The Polo spreads were my best work to date, even I could admit that. The cool spring hues seems to jump off the page and there was never a chance the reader could simply skim over it. Jasper was the perfect poster boy for the campaign and I knew there was a chance he could land the account as a permanent face for the product.

Amanda came back into my office with two cups of coffee and a pen wedged into her ponytail. I giggled and grabbed a coffee from her.

"I went through your schedule and tried to clean up everything for fashion week, whatever couldn't be canceled or postponed, I have moved up and given them an earlier appointment."

"Thank you, I guess that'll keep me busy for a while."

"Yeah. well some people don't like to take no for an answer." She laughed, she put her coffee on the floor beside her chair and disappeared from my office. She came back with her organizer and a smallish white box. She handed me the box with a smile before taking her seat and opening her organizer.

"What's this?"

"David and I thought you might like it," She grinned and shrugged burying her nose into the organizer sat open on her knees.

I pulled the top from the box and laughed. It appeared I was highly transparent to those around me, because in the box, in a matte black frame, was the picture of Jasper and I.

"What's this?" I grinned, playing with her.

"It's adorable, Alice. We couldn't resist; even if he does have a girlfriend that picture could start a fire. You're easier to read than you think." she winked.

"He's just a friend, Amanda."

"Friends have pictures of friends. Case in point," she said pointing to a picture I had of Bella and I at one of the high school football games I had on my desk. "No big deal."

I rolled my eyes and put the frame back in the box, the frame was exactly the kind I used at home. I put the top back on the box and set it to the side. As Amanda began going through the appointments and meeting I had for the day, I pulled out my phone and began texting Jasper.

_Jasper, if you want the pics I need your email. Don't forget to let me know what copies you want for your portfolio. –A_

It wasn't more than ten minutes before he replied.

_Alice, my email is jwhitlock (at) twilight_models (dot) com, Thanks again. I am about to get on a plane, so I will talk to you later. –J_

I turned to my computer and selected some of the best shots I had from the shoot, as well as the two pics of him and I, and attached them to an email. I hit send without adding a body to the message. I couldn't think of anything witty to say.

The rest of the day passed in a blur of meetings and a long stint in the graphics department. We were putting this issue to bed soon, and I needed to have everything in order before I left for New York. Shawn had already had the tickets messengered over to the office and in true D&G style, they were first class.

I had the final proofs in my hand before I even left the office, they were perfect and after checking and double checking the product descriptions, I submitted them for approval. I was feeling proud of myself as I hopped into the elevator. The day's hard work had paid off.

The doors of the elevator slid open on a lower floor and the large frame of Jacob shuffled in. I was surprised to see that he looked tired. Dark circles framed his brown eyes. Our eyes met and a smile rose on his lips.

"Hey Alice,"

"Hey Jake, you alright? You're not coming down with this stomach thing too are you?"

He shifted uncomfortably and leaned against the elevator wall opposite me. He looked confused at my statement as his hand rubbed the back of his neck.

"Maybe," he smiled weakly. "Anything new happening in the fashion world?"

"I am headed off to New York this weekend. Dolce asked me to help out with their catwalk show for Fashion week, Couture gets the exclusive." I grinned, Jacob would understand just what that meant. He may work at a testosterone fueled magazine, but an exclusive was an exclusive.

"Look at you jet-setting already," he laughed relaxing a little. "So how are you helping the infallible D&G with their catwalk?"

"They have, and I quote, an unconventional catwalk, and Shawn insists I am the only one who can get the shots right."

"How unconventional?"

"I won't know until I get there. I am leaving this weekend so I can watch the construction. It must be pretty wild, they have reserved a space and they aren't sharing." I laughed.

"Let's just hope they're not going to put you in a harness and hoist you twenty feet into the air. I know you hate heights."

"I don't hate them," I laughed, "They just freak me out."

"That's because you've spent a majority of your life less than five feet from the ground."

"Hey," I laughed, "Just because you live it an entirely different climate, doesn't mean I'm strange, you're the anomaly."

Jacob barked out a laugh, his shoulders shook with the magnitude of his hysterics. I rolled my eyes and stepped forward to smack his arm. the doors slid open and I stepped out into the cool granite lined lobby. It was completely quiet.

"Well, be careful in New York, Alice," Jacob said as his laughter died down. "Your going to be swamped with all the tall chicks of the fashion world."

"Thanks Jake," I said, my words dripping with sarcasm.

"Anytime," he chuckled.

With that, we went our separate ways. I sighed a breath of relief, it was still easy with him. I was concerned there would be some awkwardness in the aftermath of our lunch, but I was pleased that things just seemed to go back to the way they had been before, well, as far as passing in the hall, I had yet to sit down and have a real conversation with him.

The rest of the week buzzed by in a blur. The spread was approved and my desk was almost emptied of things to do. Amanda kept everything flowing easily through the office and I was able to keep most of my meetings.

I hadn't bumped into Jacob again since I had met him in the elevator, my evening were spend raking through my closet looking for the highest fashion I had that would work amongst the giants in the fashion world. Of course my suitcase consisted of most of my Dolce and Gabbana clothes. After all, I was going to be working for them while I was there. I should certainly represent them as best I could.

Jasper and I had been texting one another daily, he was in New York, and he was bored. From what he'd told me Maria wasn't as open to the honesty as he thought she would be. I silently rejoiced that the women truly seemed to be a me monster. It made her harder to love, and easier for me to hate.

I was surprised at the ease that came with my interactions with Jasper. He'd called me twice this week and we spent a majority of the time laughing and exchanging industry stories.

He'd confided to me that he'd turned down jobs so that he could be with Maria, at least so she could have her own way. Every story he had that concerned her only gave me more of a dislike for the woman, she truly was a bitch, to the core. Yet, I never said anything to that effect.

This was a learning experience for me. I knew I had the capability to be a friend, but I had been speculative about trying it with Jasper because of my attraction to him. My attraction hadn't diminished at all since our first phone conversation, but I had a better grip over my emotions. I prioritized my thoughts so that I wouldn't get flustered and upset when he had to go.

In the few phone calls we'd shared, the ending of the conversation was always the same. _Maria's here, I should go. _It ended that way because we would always lose track of time. It was easy to waste four hours just talking to him.

It was Friday night, and I was catching the flight out tomorrow, I was stretched out on my bed watching _the breakfast club._ A bottle of wine and Chinese take out was on the bench at the end of my bed. It was a ritual of mine before I flew.

I had many a ritual, I seemed to gain more with age, not that I minded, I liked having something to look forward to. My phone buzzed on the bench impatiently and I picked it up and looked at the caller ID. _Jasper._

"Hey Jasper,"

"Oh, it's _you_." A nasally voice filled my ear and made me cringe. I could hear the music in the background, it was why I hadn't expected to hear from Jasper, he was having a night on the town with Maria.

"Maria, how are you?" I asked in a sugar coated voice.

"You don't want to know, it's insane around here. Everybody wants me to walk for them and there just aren't enough hours in the day. Not to mention Jasper's being a royal pain in my ass with the family shit. I heard you will be at Dolce this week."

"Eh yeah," I sighed, I couldn't believe she had the audacity to bitch at me about Jasper. She was the most selfish, conceited, self-centered bitch on the continent. I really didn't want to talk to her at all so I cut to the chase. "What can I do for you Maria?"

"Nothing," she spat, "Jasper left his phone on the table and I was going through his phonebook, all he had for this number was an A. Maybe it's for fucking A, I got another job." she laughed spitefully.

I refused to take the bait and bite back so I bit my tongue, again. I took a deep breath and listened as Maria chatted comfortably with whoever was in earshot. I couldn't stand to listen to her voice anymore so I went for the easy out, made it about her.

"Well, you sound busy, so if you don't need anything, I will talk to you later." I said as loudly as I could.

"Hello?" Jasper's voice filled the earpiece of my phone and I smiled.

"Hey,"

"Hang on, Alice, I can't hear you." I heard shuffling and movement and the sound of the music dying away. "You still there?"

"I'm here," I smiled, picking up the remote and pausing the movie.

"I'm surprised you called," he laughed, I could hear chatting in the background and realized he must be outside.

"I didn't." I laughed, I couldn't always be the bigger person. "Maria was going through your phone and wanted to know who A was apparently."

I kept my voice light, I wanted to let him know that I wasn't upset or offended by her actions. That I was being the bigger person, that I adored him . . . I'm pathetic.

"She was going through my phone?" There was a tension in his voice, it was something I'd never heard before.

"That's what she said." I confirmed unsure. I hoped I hadn't started something between them.

"What did she say to you?"

"She was telling me about her week, and that she was going through your phone. That was about it." I laughed, again, this time it was nervous laughter. I was beginning to wonder if I should have just kept my damn mouth shut, I could hear how upset he was every time he spoke.

"I'm so sorry, Alice." he sighed, in resignation.

"No harm done, I think she was just curious."

"Hmm, still, I don't appreciate her doing shit like this. I mean it's almost two in the morning, you have a flight tomorrow and . . ."

"Jasper, honey I'm three hours behind you, and I was up anyway. Honestly, it's not a big deal."

"It is to me," he said almost under his breath.

"Well, I should get to bed, and you're out partying, you should be having fun. I'll be arriving tomorrow around noon New York time. You can call me then if you wanna talk."

"Shit, Alice, what time is your flight?"

"_Early,_" I laughed. I had opted to take a five am flight so I could get there early, New York was three hours ahead of Seattle.

"Okay, Al, goodnight." He laughed.

"Night, Jazz."

I let out all of the air in my lungs and fell back on the bed. I was looking forward to seeing Jasper again, but I couldn't help but get the feeling that the shit was about to hit the fan.

**

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A/N: I hope all of you dislike Maria as much as I do. The reason he endures her BS will all come apparent soon, in fact I believe it's the next chapter :) We're not making this easy on our characters are we?**

**Thank you so much to goldentemptress, an awesome author, and an amazing friend. Her Bella is amazing. **

**Thank you to all of you that have reviewed, you give us so much encouragement and often make us laugh and smile too. So a hug thanks and a ton of love to you guys.**

**Until Monday - Much love and big hugz - L -**


	13. Fashion Messiah, Evil Pariah

**Disclaimer: **_**All Things Twilight belong to the amazing Stephenie Meyer . . . All other copyrighted material belong to the respective owners, we just like to play ;)**_

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Fashion Messiah, Evil Pariah

**APOV**

The airport was crowded for this early on a Saturday morning, it wasn't even light outsight for crying out loud; yet the bodies all hustled in through the automatic doors silently making their way to get their boarding passes before they moved along.

I loved airports; there was always so much life in them, and so much emotion, people crying their goodbyes, people crying from the joy of the welcome. No one had ever welcomed me at an airport before. Amanda had made sure I would check in early, she'd even called me to make sure I was up and around this morning, three am was a great time to get a phone call.

I was now sitting in the waiting area for my flight. I was curled into a seat, coffee in one hand and a book in the other. I had my iPod on, but I left one of the buds out so I wouldn't miss the announcement for my flight. It sat tucked neatly into my shirt as my eyes scanned the pages of the book.

"_Northwest Airlines, flight 429, Seattle to New York will be boarding in ten minutes, please have your boarding passes ready."_

I slid my bookmark into the page of the book before tucking it inside my oversized carry on bag, and stood up to stretch. I felt as though I had been waiting for hours, but in essence, it had only been waiting for about an hour and a half. Still, my joints ached and popped as I stretched out. I had been sitting still for too long.

I picked up my bags and headed towards a trashcan to throw the cup I was holding away, the coffee inside had long gone cold, but it didn't really matter now, I was wide awake.

I knew how these things worked; they always boarded first or business class to start with and then moved up the rows. I didn't care where my seat was usually, I found the crowd interesting, but considering I hadn't paid, I was not going to be complaining.

"_Northwest Airlines, flight 429, Seattle to New York is now boarding, All first class passengers please make your way to the front of the line."_

I did as I was told and bypassed all the people already lined up to board the plane. I felt bad but it was the nature if the beast, lines really weren't necessary until they called you up. I shuffled forwards slowly and handed the attendant my ticket and boarding pass. She smiled and scanned them both, before handing them back to me.

"Enjoy your flight Miss Brandon."

"Thank you," I returned the smile and headed down the tunnel to the plane. Flying didn't make me nervous, but it wasn't my favorite mode of transportation.

I passed through several more smiling attendants before I reached my seat. I stowed my luggage easily; luckily, the compartment was tucked in the base of the chair, as I usually had to have someone help me when they were overhead. I then sank into the luxurious comfort of the overstuffed chair. It was a sin that the upgrade was as high up as they could go without providing you with a sofa and a fifty-six inch flat-screen television; although, this was pretty damn close.

I sat silently reading the book I had thought to pull from my bag before I put it away, and waited for the flight to get going. The waiting was always what drove me insane; I hated sitting and doing nothing. My ear-bud was still in my ear, and the other was tucked in the collar of my shirt to stop it from swinging around.

The person fell into the seat in front of me and it vibrated under the pressure, I rolled my eyes and continued to read, just my luck, I had to get the seat behind the one person that didn't know how to sit properly. What were the odds?

I could hear the chatter from the other passengers as they filed into the back of the plane but I didn't look up again until I heard the slight hiss of the door closing.

The captain came on over the speaker and went through the usual spiel as the turbines of the engine began to spin and the gentle hum filled the cabin. I pulled the other bud out of my shirt and pressed it into my ear, hoping it would stop the usual pop of my ears as the cabin pressure evened out.

When we were finally in the air, I let out the breath I had been holding. Take off was always the most anxious for me, so I tried to keep myself occupied until we were finished climbing and had evened out. The flight attendant rose from her seat and disappeared behind a curtain.

I waited patiently as she made her way around the cabin taking orders; I needed a drink desperately because the cabin pressure had made my mouth go dry. This was why I hated flying. You had to depend on people to get you things that I normally got my self. Not to mention the side effects, like popping ears, dry mouth, swollen ankles, thankful that had never happened to me, but I had seen it before.

The smiling attendant took my drink order and disappeared. The chair in front of me vibrated again as the passenger shifted their weight in exaggerated motions, if they kept this up it was going to be a long flight. I let my eyes scan the page and hoped it would be enough to distract me.

I heard a cough coming from in front of me as they leaned around the seat. I looked up wondering what the hell they were doing, and why the hell they couldn't stay still . . .

I suppressed the groan as I stared into the face peering around the chair. I wondered what I had done to deserve this. My very own purgatory at thirty-six thousand feet, could it get any better than this?

"Alice,"

"James," He chuckled at the obvious distaste in my tone.

"You're not happy to see me?"

"Am I ever?" I asked, rolling my eyes. I knew the answer to that question just as well as he did. The last time we had been this close with no real witnesses had been when I had attempted to disable his parental capabilities.

"At one time, we could go back to that you know." The slimly bastard had some balls; I was starting to believe he liked being kicked in the nuts. If he did, I would happily oblige and give him a repeat performance.

"Even if I didn't hate every fiber of you, I wouldn't subject myself to that." I leaned forward and lowered my voice; it was ice cold and venomous. "_You weren't that good._"

James let out a loud laugh, attracting the attention of the other passengers. I rolled my eyes and sat back in my chair. The man was like a waxed car, the insults just rolled off of him. He made me sick.

It took a while for his laughter to die down; all the while, he hung around his chair gawking at me. I suppressed the natural shudder that tried to roll down my spine.

"So what are you doing in New York?" he asked trying to make a conversation.

"None of your damn business, James. Can you just turn around, you're making me airsick."

"You get airsick?" he asked feigning concern. He could pretend whatever the fuck he liked, I wasn't buying it, and I knew him too well to believe he was even capable of thinking about anyone other than himself.

"No, it's just you." I snapped impetuously, attempting to bury my head in my book again so he wouldn't try to engage a conversation with me. The more he opened his mouth the more I hated him. What did I ever see in the jerk?

"Ali, baby," He purred in the tone he used to use when he'd been '_too busy_' to call me for a week. "You know I missed you. I'm sorry I lied, but what's done is done. It's over, and now I am single and I've always wanted to join the mile high elite . . ."

Was he kidding, did he think his little lies would win back my affection and make everything hunky dory? Did he honestly expect me to smile and take his hand as he pulled me into the tiny odd smelling bathroom? If he believed that, he seriously needed both of his heads checked, because both seemed to be dysfunctional.

"No," I spat, cutting him off from his pathetic attempt to make amends.

"Jesus, when did you turn into a bitter harpy?" he said condescendingly.

I lifted my eyebrows in shock; did that really just happen? I wanted to scream and yell at him, scratch his eyes out and neuter him like the dog he was, but he wasn't worth it. He was sad and pathetic, and if he honestly believed that talking to people like this was endearing, he'd better get used to the taste of his sweaty balls, because I wouldn't be the last one to dish up _that_ justice.

"Fuck you James," I whispered and turned up my iPod, drowning out any retort he was about to offer. I wasn't in the mood to get catty in a confined space. I was so frustrated my leg tapped at a quick speed making the words in the book blur ever so slightly. I was frustrated and this was going to be one long flight.

We landed in New York on time.

For the duration of the flight I had been kicking the back of James' seat in tune to whatever song just happened to be playing, he'd turned to glare on numerous occasions. At which point I would pull out my ear-bud and ask him what he'd said. He proceeded to tell me how I had been kicking his chair, when he did, I would stop and apologize, pretending I hadn't realized I was doing it, even though he knew better. We both did.

Within five minutes my foot was back to kicking along with the beat of the song, a shit-eating grin spread across my lips.

When I had to use the restroom, I would pull myself up with the back of his seat, jerking him around with more force than I would ever use normally. If I had to be stuck in a small space with the man-whore, I was going to entertain myself.

By the time the doors opened at the gate, he was up and the first out of the door. His eyes narrowed at me while I lingered for a while; snickering like Dick Dastardley's sidekick Muttley. I just wished I had Bella with me to share it with, I think she would have gotten just as much enjoyment out of it as I had. I gathered my things together and grinned at the attendants standing at the door.

"Thank you," I sang dancing out the door. It had turned out to be more of an enjoyable flight than I'd first anticipated.

I made my way down to the luggage carousel to pick up my suitcase and then headed out to get a cab. The first thing I caught was the James embracing a fiery red head. She was beautiful, her pale skin and dark eyes were alight, as she held him tightly. I recognized her instantly; _that_ was Victoria. I wished I had the nerve to tell the poor woman what she was involved with, but she wouldn't know who the fuck I was, so there would be no reason for her to listen to me.

My eyes moved along the rest of the area, smiling as peoples faces lit up with the anticipation of seeing their loved one come through the doors. The airport was crowded and I almost missed a guy standing amongst the sea of people holding up a sign with my name neatly printed across it. They had to be shitting me.

I danced up to the guy and smiled. "Hi, I'm Alice Brandon."

The man smiled warmly at me before nodding at my luggage. "Good Morning, can I take your luggage for you, Miss Brandon?"

"Sure," I smiled; glad I had taken out cash before I left. I had known how flagrantly New Yorkers tipped, and came prepared.

I followed the driver through the sea of people and out of the building, I almost laughed at the long black sedan that sat idling at the curb. He pulled open the door for me and offered his hand to help me in, I placed my hand in his and I climbed in, I knew I must have been wearing a shit-eating grin as he closed the door behind me.

I waited as he pulled away from the curb and headed towards the city. I could see the buildings peppering the horizon as we drove. It was a beautiful fall afternoon and the city looked as though it was made of diamonds as the afternoon sun reflected from the glass of the skyscrapers. It was almost like a mirage.

The traffic was intimidating compared to what we had to deal with in Seattle, as I watched the drivers cross three lanes into impossibly tight spaces as other drivers hammered on their horns, I promised I would never complain about the traffic I thought I endured, ever again. This was pure insanity.

It didn't take long to get to the hotel once we were inside the city; I was staying at the Bryant Park hotel. At least I didn't have to go far for the shows, and I knew that they had probably booked a couple of rooms way ahead of time. They were highly coveted during Fashion Week. Tents were already popping up around the area.

I tipped the driver and made my way into the hotel; it was a towering older building that held more charm than I could possibly have imagined. It narrowed the taller it became and the tall glass windows and ornate designs that embellished the building held me in awe. Within twenty minutes, I was settling into my junior suite and looking out the window checking out some of the things going on below. I loved Manhattan, but I doubted I could ever live here. I liked my small corner of the world.

There was a welcoming basket sitting on the table, somehow each one of my favorite things had been stuffed into it and it was brimming with passes to all of the shows for the week. I hadn't expected that either, I would have to thank Shawn for all of his little gifts.

The modern clean lines of the room made me feel at home, it was almost a carbon copy of my bedroom without the personal things. I felt immediately comfortable. I decided I was going to get the easily wrinkled closes from the case before I relaxed. I pulled the suitcase from beside the door, and drug it up on the bed; unzipping it.

Once I had finished hanging my garment bags, I turned on the flat screen and laid across the bed, sinking into the soft mattress. I'd gotten up super early and I took the quiet of the room and time alone to relax. I put on some mindless show and watched the pictures move around the screen. I wasn't a big TV watcher, but I hadn't thought that far ahead and enjoyed the downtime while I could.

I could hear the horns blaring on the street below and it was almost hypnotic, I never considered the sound to be relaxing before, but I found the muted volume of it to almost be reassuring. It was a reminder of where I was.

After flicking through the channels and finding nothing, I flipped off the television and jumped from the bed. I was planning on rifling through the basket of goodies. Chocolate was one of my major downfalls, along with ice cream, and combining the two, it was my kind of heaven.

As I poked around, there was a tap at the door and I danced towards it and pulled it open. Grinning on the other side was Shawn. He was tall and handsome, his dark hair and olive skin were complimented by the multi hues of his hazel eyes. To say he was gorgeous was the understatement of the millennium, but he had a boyfriend.

"Alice," He enveloped me in his arms and pulled me into his chest. His messenger bag slapped against my hip and I winced. "It's so good to see you, thank you so much for doing this. I swear you can have my first born."

I giggled at the preposterous proposal. Shawn tucked me under one of his arms and pushed the door closed as he guided me back into the room.

"How about you keep the child and let me raid the new line?"

Shawn brought his free hand to his chin as though he were contemplating. I knew he would say yes, it's practically what fashion week was about, well at least behind the scenes it was.

"I think that can be arranged." He sighed with exaggeration. He released me and his eyes roamed over me, tip of head to my toes. He nodded appreciatively and I grinned.

"So tell me about this catwalk, you said it was unconventional, does that mean it's innovative?" I asked backing away from him and grinning.

Shawn smiled and held up his hand to stop me from talking; his eyes were glued to my open suitcase. If it had been anyone else, I would have been blushing. "May I?"

I smiled and nodded a grin spread from ear to ear; I knew what he'd seen. He took four steps until he was at the foot of my bed, his eyes as wide as saucers. His lithe fingers wrapped gently around a pair of red leather pumps, they had a tastefully large silver buckle adorning the toe. His fingers stroked gently at the design that ran throughout the shoe. I couldn't help but smile at the joy that filled his face.

"Are these?"

I nodded smiling, "They came in yesterday, and I snagged them before anyone had even seen them."

"I knew I loved you for a reason Alice Brandon, you're the only one who would have noticed it that quickly." He said moving the shoe around to every possible angle so he could memorize every glorious detail. His finger ran along the perfect stitching of the shoe and he sighed happily.

"I'm not so sure about that," I admitted, there were many fashion savvy women at couture. "But I wasn't willing to take any chances."

"I don't blame you sweetheart."

Most people would have looked at Shawn and I as thought we were lunatics, but in the fashion industry, a keen eye got you brownie points. The shoes he'd been gushing over were the brand new Manolo Blahnik's; they weren't being sold until next season.

I sat quietly just watching Shawn have his moment with my shoes; it was much the same reaction I had when I saw the intern shelving them. I had snatched them from the shelf as the intern turned her back on them to open another box. Her eyes widened as I brushed through like a hurricane.

After ten minutes of eye fucking my shoe, he placed it gently back into the suitcase and sighed, turning to me. I couldn't help but laugh at the pure bliss that had formed across his brow.

"Shawn,"

"Alice, right." He pulled up the flap of his messenger bag and pulled out a laptop, he opened it up and waited for it to warm up. He dropped the bag to floor and slid into the chair. The room was filled with silence as he opened everything he needed.

We spent the next couple of hours working through the mock-ups they had put together and I tried visualizing where the best angle for optimum coverage would be. We spoke for hours and I took notes so I would be ready when we went down to the tent.

It was an unconventional catwalk, but it wasn't impossible. I could see possibilities and marked them down in the sketch I had taken in a notebook. To be sure, I would need cameras and test subjects. The catwalk would be fully constructed by Sunday morning and the show was on the Monday. I wouldn't have long to get it right, but I knew I could do it. By the time we were finished, it was heading into the later afternoon.

"I knew you would find the right spots, when I get a feeling about someone it's always right. And you, Alice, are my newest discovery."

"We've worked together before Shawn," I laughed gently. "Are you telling me you thought I couldn't do this?"

"Oh I knew, but you have just confirmed it."

"It's just a couple of sketches, you don't even know if it'll work."

"Faith, dear Alice, faith. It's something I have a lot of when it comes to you."

I couldn't help but laugh at his admission, I was still fighting my way up to the top and here he was telling me I was his saving grace. I highly doubted that, but I still enjoyed the compliment.

"Look at the time, I have to take Mark out tonight, and I still have to check in on the construction. Do you have any plans for tonight?"

"No as far as I know," I smiled. I pulled out my PDA and checked my calendar, there was nothing scheduled for tonight so I shook my head and grinned at Shawn.

"Excellent, then Mark and I are taking you out for dinner, he's going to love you. Just make sure to wear those Manolo's, you'll win him right over." He laughed with a wink as he shut down his laptop and slid it back into the bag. "We'll pick you up at seven."

"Thanks, Shawn." I smiled, giving the man a kiss on the cheek as he stretched to his full height. "I have no idea what's good around here."

"We're going French, there's a restaurant on Madison Avenue I know you'll just adore."

"I trust your judgment." I grinned.

"C'est tres magnifique."

"Show off." I laughed

I walked him to the door and held it open for him, "Be down in the lobby at seven, we'll be in a yellow cab." That was vague; there were more yellow cabs than people in the city of New York.

"Thanks again, Shawn."

"Thank _you_, Alice. See you at seven." He called over his shoulder as he strolled towards the elevators. I pushed the door closed and ventured back into the room.

Now I was alone again, I was able to focus on what was really bothering me, Jasper's silence. When we'd spoken last night, I'd told him what time I would be here. He normally called like clockwork and I was beginning to get paranoid. Alice and paranoia were never a good combination.

I was stuck between a rock and a hard place; I didn't want to call him because I didn't want to sound desperate or stalker-like. If he said he was going to call, then I should just be patient. Unfortunately, patience wasn't an easy thing for me in this situation. It was going to be excruciating waiting for him to call. I hated that he had this affect over me. He was supposed to just be a friend.

I had a couple of hours to kill before I had to start getting ready for dinner so I decided to take a shower. I checked the clock, it was closing in on two, and so it was only eleven in Seattle. I wanted to call Bella, but not knowing whether she was still sick or not, I thought it could wait until I got out.

As soon as I entered the bathroom, I grinned. Steam showers; could this pampering be any more perfect? I flipped on the shower and waited for it to get hot before sliding inside. It was pure heaven. The steam seemed to beat all of the nasty kinks from my body, and washed away the nasty remnants of my unfortunate morning with James.

I was smiling by the time I climbed out, but it didn't stop me from checking my phone. There was only one missed call and it was from Bella. _He would call, he would call_, I thought in a loop, trying as hard as I could to convince myself. I was pathetic!

I hit the button and let the phone ring as I perched on the big bed. I knew Bella would have some kind of advice for me. It had been that way since high school, the girl just knew what to say and do.

"Hey Bella," I said smiling, I could hear that she was in the car the humming of the Volvo's engine was distinct.

"Hey Ali, how is New York? See anything fun yet?" she said, although I could hear in her raspy voice that she was tired.

"Not really," I laughed. "I got into a meeting almost as soon as I got here, but Shawn is taking me out to dinner tonight. We're going French. How are you feeling?"

"Oh god, don't talk to me about food, especially something slimy like French food . . . ugh," she said in disgust, her breathing getting a little heavier. "Well, I guess that answers your question. Still sick, still tired, still want to bury myself under the covers, but I have to go be the dutiful aunt and paint adorable little sailboats around my unnamed nephew's nursery. Rosalie is too big to go near a ladder, and Emmett had to go out of town for an emergency meeting with one of the investors at the firm."

She paused for a moment, and then continued.

"But you obviously didn't call to talk about me, what's up?"

"Well it was one of the reason's I've called, you've been sick all week. Have you been to the doctor? Spoken to Edward?" I said pulling the damp towel from my head. Bella was possibly the most stubborn person I had ever met, I knew the answer would be no.

"Edward has been taking care of me, but as usual, he knows I will bite off his head if he pressures me to go to the doctor. He knows I hate that place. If I could have a hot doctor like my husband instead of the creepy old one I do have, maybe I would go more often. I relented and made an appointment for next Thursday, but I'm not looking forward to it. My stomach has been killing me, I feel like someone is poking me with needles. Ok, ok, enough about me. Tell me about New York, have you spoken to him?"

"Last word on the subject, Bella; please, go to the damn doctor. And no, Maria called me from his phone last night and that was the last I heard from him. He sounded pretty pissed off about her going through his phone." I said running my hand over my face with frustration.

I hadn't told Bella that little story yet and I knew she would be surprised at that. Maria was a volatile woman who seemed to have her hooks deep in the man I found literally amazing, Bella understood that and she was the only person I could vent to about this, because she was the only person who knew.

"She actually went through his phone while they were at a club last night. She found me listed as only A, and called it. She was her usual feral self, and she handed the phone off to Jasper, and I got to break the news to him. It was awkward; I didn't want him to think I was ratting his girlfriend out. Why is everything I say and do around him so irrational?"

"Oh my god Al, I'm so sorry that bitch got to you. She sounds like an insecure psycho. And you were totally justified in telling him, he needed to know, that is just an invasion of privacy on so many levels. I don't think you were irrational, you were mad, and he should have been too. Are you going to call him?"

"No, as pathetic as it sounds, I think it makes me sound needy. I don't want to be known as his stalker. I figure if he wants to go out and do something he'll call me." I stood up and made my way to the window, and looked down at the traffic weaving through the busy city streets. I really was a goner, head over heels, there was never any way I could fight it. "I hate that I feel so confused about him. I just don't know how to handle myself, but when he's there; everything falls into place."

"Ok, I respect you keeping your distance, but don't try to avoid him; the universe obviously wanted you two to meet. As cheesy as it sounds, I could see you two making adorable little blonde babies someday," she said and then gasped. After a few moments of awkward silence, she spoke again. "Sorry Al, I guess I have babies on the brain with nursery painting and all; just ignore me, I guess I'm hormonal."

I couldn't help myself and broke out into fits of giggles at my friend; babies and me had never come up in a conversation together before. It was a little shocking but the humor of the situation won me over before I could even speak. Not to mention the fact that my mind was once again filled with things I hadn't known I had wanted until it sounded so damn appealing to me.

"Bella, it's a nice thought . . . the meant to be together thing, not blond babies." I giggled. "But, I can't let myself get that hopeful, the disappointment would crush me."

"Maria will get what's coming to her, from what Rosalie told me, which you are not, under any circumstances, allowed to repeat; Jasper has been miserable for the last six months. He even considered getting out of the business to get away from her. He has a degree in finance; did you know that? He talks to Emmett all the time about his firm."

"He's smart, I could have told you that." I smiled, thinking back on some of the deeper conversations Jasper and I had shared over our week of flirtatious work. "Seeing them together the couple of times I have though, I would never believe it. Bella, they were always smiling and giggling, I know he's been having a hard time the last couple of days but . . . I don't know, I'm so confused, and I know I feel more than I should, especially after knowing him for less than a month."

"Ok, if this ever gets back to me, after Rosalie kills me, I will come after you. He tried to break up with her after Rosalie's wedding, he doesn't think that Rosalie knows this, but he didn't come because of her. Maria threatened to ruin him. He was still new in the modeling business and she was pretty connected. He's afraid of her, and from what Rosalie has said to me, he should be, she's a user, she gets off on manipulating people. Jasper puts on a good show, that's what he's paid to do Alice, don't let his actions fool you."

"If this is true . . ." The wedding part I knew about, so the rest seemed to fall into place around it. "Fuck, I hate that bitch. I want to scratch her eyes out and serve them to her on a silver - fucking - platter. She wouldn't know how lucky she was if it turned around and bit her in her perfect fucking ass."

I was pacing as I spat down the phone with rage boiling inside of me. I knew it wasn't Bella's fault and I shouldn't subject her to my ranting, but she was the only one who knew how I felt. I wanted to cry in anger but it was useless. How could one woman have such a hold on someone? And more importantly, I wanted to know how I could break it.

"Sorry, Bella. I don't get how she could be like that. I know she's a volatile, over opinionated, obnoxious bitch, but you would think she would count her lucky stars that someone like Jasper saw anything in her to begin with. Yet here she is treating him like he's a goofy lap dog with a need to please her. I hate that, I hate her."

"I know, but this situation is getting out of hand. I didn't tell you to upset you; I just wanted you to see the real Jasper. He deserves to be happy, and so do you. I'm not saying try to get in the middle of them, but just let him know that you are interested in a subtle way, it might give him the incentive to do something about it finally." She said sighing; I heard the car's gentle hum slowing. "Well, I am at Rosalie's, be good while you are there, and I will call you after the doctor's appointment, to let you know what's wrong with me. Love you Alice, be careful."

"Love you too, Bella, thanks again."

I hung up the phone and threw it on the bed. I wanted more than anything to call Jasper and yell at him for being a dumbass, for letting her manipulate him like that, I wanted to call her and tell her how fucking stupid she was. I wanted to just talk to him.

How the hell was I more confused now than I had been to begin with?

I took my time getting dressed for dinner; I almost wished I hadn't agreed to it. I really wanted to stay in the room and wallow in my own self-pity.

I stood in the lobby at seven as I had promised Shawn I would be. I saw dozens of yellow cabs pull up and drive away. I knew the cab they were in though, the window at the back was open and Shawn's grin could have been seen from a mile away.

The restaurant was beautiful; the old style building with the embellishments was awe-inspiring. Shawn and Mark stood either side of me, my arms entwined with theirs. As Shawn had suggested I had worn the shoes, and with it came Marks seal of approval.

I liked Mark, he was easy going and laid back, he was also gorgeous as sin, but that was to be expected. We had chattered the entire cab ride and had become fast friends. I had even gone as far as to tell them about my unattainable man.

We stood at the Maître'D's podium waiting to be seated, the place was huge and beautiful; there were two levels. Mark, a structural engineer, explained where everything was.

Upstairs was the formal dining room, the tall ceilings had a stained glass dome rose from it. I couldn't see it very well from where I was standing. Downstairs was the champagne lounge and café. We were dining in the café. It was the hot spot apparently; all of the furniture had contemporary clean lines with some aged leather thrown in.

Shawn released my arm as we followed the Maître'D, my other arm was tightly wrapped around Mark's as we were led to our seats. My eyes were darting around the walls and lines of the architecture, it was amazing how much history some of these New York buildings had, and the way they had used the space kept me in awe as we walked. It was one of those places you spend the evening as you dine. There were conversations going on all around us and it was comfortable. My two companions kept me enveloped in conversation, and I found that I was having a ball; they were great company.

When the waiter came to take our order, I looked up, but it wasn't the waiter that caught my eye. It was the handsome blond sitting at the other side of the restaurant - looking completely bored as the beautiful people he was with chattered amongst themselves - that caught my eye. How I had missed him when we came in was beyond me, but I imagined it was a testament to the buildings grace that it held my attention away from him.

Jasper was leaning back in his chair, his arms crossed over his defined chest, his eyes scanning the ceiling above him. I wanted to reach out and touch him; even bored and annoyed he looked handsome as all hell. I could see the frown lining his perfect features from here.

"Alice," Shawn's voice pulled me out of my visual analysis and I felt the flush slide up to my cheeks at being caught.

I ordered and took a sip of my wine, waiting for the line of questioning I knew was coming.

"Well, where'd you go?" Mark laughed playfully winking at me.

"Do you remember Mr. Unattainable?" I whispered, leaning over the table.

Mark and Shawn nodded and I grinned and tipped my head towards Jasper's table.

"He's the blond that looks bored to death."

"You mean the gorgeous blond that's checking you out?" Shawn asked, after his eyes scanned the room before stopping at me again.

"What?" I heard the slight elevation in my voice at his comment.

"Slowly, Alice, look over and keep a smile on your face. Cut out the deer in the headlights look. You look stunning, now use it."

I swallowed and blinked before letting my eyes scan the restaurant again. This time they connected with my favorite pools of blue, and my heart hammered against my chest. His smile broadened and I swear he winked at me.

Everything in me told me to head over there and talk to him, but I could see the back of Maria's head and knew I would be pushing my luck, and probably Jasper's too.

"He's into you." Mark whispered. "I know that look and that smile, and you, he likes."

Our eyes were still connected and my goofy grin was in place when I saw a perfectly manicured hand grab his chin and turn his head. Maria was turned in her chair glaring at me. I was sure she was willing laser beams to shoot out and cut me down, but alas, she was a mere human. I averted my eyes quickly, looking into the stunned faces of my two companions.

"I'm guessing that's the leggy bitch that he's dating?" Mark asked quietly, acting nonchalant.

"The one and only," I sighed, biting back the rude remark that threatened to escape.

I wanted to leave; I didn't want to sit here while she taunted me. Shawn and Mark refused to let me go, their argument being she was not going to ruin our night as well as Jasper's.

"We're going to stay and give the poor guy his eye candy," Mark laughed lightly. "You can't let her see she's getting to you Alice."

I knew he was right, but it didn't make it any easier. I didn't look at Jasper again all night, and it was possibly the hardest thing I had ever done. Pissing off Maria had been a bad move; I doubted I would even be allowed friend status now!

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A/N: Some of you may have difficulty reviewing for this chapter because I deleted the supplement chapter 5, so if you reviewed for the last chapter, it may not let you...if you feel compelled, feel free to send us a PM regarding this chapter, and we hope you all enjoyed it!

I like making Maria evil, she always seemed that way to me, especially when Jasper explained his history with her . . . I know most of you are ready for something to happen between Alice and Jasper but life's just not that easy ;) I know I am evil.

**On to goldentemptress and her Bella . . . we're having a blast writing this and we're glad that most of you seem to enjoy it :) . . . **

**Thank you for the alerts, faves and to the reviewers for being completely amazing with their kind words and encouragement, you guys ROCK!**

**Till next week, Much love and big hugz - L -**


	14. Sailboats and Lil’ Swimmers

**Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight, sadly enough, but do enjoy watching leaked deleted scenes from the DVD I am anxiously awaiting……**

**A/N: Hope you all enjoyed another dose of Maria, Nostalgicmiss has totally mastered the art of creating the perfect bitch….**

**Ok, before my chapter, I have to applaud you all, because we are nearing 200 reviews already, nicely done……:) Oh, and for those of you who could not review the last chapter, feel free to leave comments about it in your review of this one, because L loves it when she gets praise of Alice and her mischief....;)**

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Sailboats and Lil' Swimmers**

**BPOV**

After I got off the phone with Alice, I was already exhausted for the day and it was only a little past two in the afternoon. The only thing that was keeping me awake, and somewhat focused on the road was the fact that if I didn't get to my brother's house soon, his wife might murder me.

Rosalie had already called me four times today, because she was sick of being exiled to her house. Emmett had only been gone since this morning, but she was already bored out of her mind and cranky as hell. Apparently, my nephew had designs to be a soccer player, because as she told me this morning, "this little devil is kicking the shit out of me".

The last week has been hell, and I can't believe how sick I have gotten. I wake up nauseous and for the most part, I have been able to avoid praying to the porcelain gods, but having to get up so damn early to get into work is torture. Suzanna is her ever happy self, being extremely patient with my sudden illness, but all I want to do is punch her for being so damn happy in the morning, and roll up in a ball under my desk.

I can't even focus on the computer during the day because my head is throbbing so much. I have actually gone to keeping a box of cheerios in my file drawer, because if I don't keep something on my stomach, I just feel worse. I have spent most of my lunch breaks this week napping in the back seat of my car with the alarm set on my phone because no matter how much rest I get, I still have dark circles under my eyes.

Edward is worried sick about me, and whenever he is home, he exiles me to the bed and makes me dinner, although I don't seem to be able to tolerate spicy foods. Thank god for cheap canned soup, because although its not exactly healthy for you, it seems to keep me satisfied; if MSG and ridiculous amounts of sodium are capable of being satisfying.

This whole situation with Alice and Jasper has been the only thing that has really kept me entertained this week. She is so hopelessly smitten with him and I think that it is hilarious that Alice has finally let down her wall. She can be such a hard ass sometimes and knowing that all it took for the bricks to start falling was a tall blond, absolutely gorgeous model, is really hilarious. Who knew that Alice was a sucker for a pretty face? Although, to be completely honest, if I didn't have my own gorgeous man at home, Jasper would definitely make me want to follow him around.

That Maria bitch needed to die; I couldn't believe some of the stuff that Rosalie had told me about her. She was beyond evil, and if anyone could put her in her place, it was Alice Brandon. That amazon freak had no idea who she was messing with, when Alice set her sights on revenge; she went for blood, or at least a little groin maiming in James' case.

Even though they were only step-siblings; Rosalie was just as close to Jasper as I was to Emmett, and I knew that she just wanted him to be happy. After meeting him, I knew that he would be the perfect match for Alice. He was quiet and reserved where she was bright and sarcastic, they would bring out the best in each other. The only problem was, neither of them were the type to instigate something, it was like a rehearsed dance of avoidance.

When she had told me about the incident on the phone with Maria, I knew that I had to break Rosalie's confidence. She still didn't know about Alice's crush on Jasper, but I knew that she would approve of her being with Jasper, eventually. Rosalie had always been fiercely overprotective of the people she loved, and I was more than surprised that she had never gone after Maria herself.

I knew that it had something to do with the fact that she didn't want to try to tell Jasper how to live his life. Although, she had barely hesitated to threaten to render Edward potentially childless if he ever hurt me, effectively scaring the shit out of him minutes before he had to head into the church before our wedding. When Alice had told me about that little gem at the reception, I didn't know if I wanted to slap Rosalie, or hug her.

My phone ringing brought me out of my constant inner monologue as I turned onto the street where Emmett and Rosalie's ridiculous mini-mansion was located. My brother and I had definitely moved up in the world from our tiny three-bedroom house in Forks, and seeing him as a successful investment broker was actually somewhat shocking considering his past as a super jock.

"Yes, Rosalie?" I answered, knowing that it would be her on the phone for the billionth time today.

"Bella, where in the hell are you? These damn sailboats aren't going to stencil themselves you know. Do you want me to climb up on a ladder and risk the safety of your nephew?" she huffed, in typical Rosalie style.

"I am pulling into your driveway right now, psycho, calm down or you are going to work yourself into an early labor. Remember what the doctor told you about stress triggering the Braxton-Hicks?" I scolded, knowing that the fear of going into an early labor would shut her up.

She still had a few more weeks to go until the big B-day, but she had been freaking herself out lately, and Emmett had called Edward more than once asking how to tell if someone had gone into labor. Rosalie did not like to be housebound; she would have made an even worse housewife than I did. I could only imagine how the ten weeks of maternity leave would affect her, I felt sorry for my brother.

"Don't even Bella; you have no idea what it is like to have some little _punk_ kicking you from the inside."

Yay! It was going to be a grumpy Rosalie day, now I knew why she was _so_ good at her job as a PR consultant. She had such a way with words.

"You don't mean that Rosalie, you love him remember?" I said in a calming voice as I pulled into the semicircle drive in front of their tri-story natural stone, encased abode.

"I know Bell, I do, believe me, but at this point, I just want him out. I would rather have a screaming, pooping infant than this pain in my lower back."

When my brother had bought this house after his promotion at the firm last year, I couldn't help but be in awe of it. Sure, Edward probably had more money in his trust fund than three times the mortgage on this place, but we had decided to go with something a little more worthy of the suburbs of Seattle. Although, after he was finally done with school, I'm sure that Esme would insist on us moving into something a little more like this. It would surely just provide me with more square footage to attempt to keep clean.

"I'll be inside in a few Rose, are you upstairs?"

"Yeah, do you think I could navigate that damn staircase by myself when I am the size of a freaking hippo?"

Oh yeah, definitely gonna have my hands full today.

"Stress Rosalie stress, chill out already, I am opening the door right now," I said, fumbling around with my key ring while I searched for the spare key to their house. Emmett had always had a bad habit of losing things, so I was in charge of guarding the spare key.

When I opened the front door, I was still in awe of the large foyer, complete with the ridiculously large chandelier hanging from the twenty-foot high ceiling. Every time I walked into this house, I was still impressed, even though I knew it was my goofy older brother who lived here.

I clicked my phone shut and made my way towards the large sweeping staircase to the left of the entryway, and noticed the cans of paint, various drop cloths, and plastic stencil templates sitting there.

Emmett must not have had time to get them upstairs before he left, so I grabbed them, and tried to balance them as I made my way upstairs. I knew that my clumsiness would probably make itself known soon, but I hoped that I could at least make it up the stairs first, no need to send Rosalie into a panic induced labor.

As I reached the last step, I could hear the faint sounds of classical music wafting down the hallway, and I looked around, fearing that I had entered the wrong house for a moment. Rosalie had always made fun of Edward for his affinity for classical, and how he was a 'pansy-ass piano playing mama's boy'.

"Rose?" I questioned, as I trudged down the hallway, the music getting louder as I approached the guest bedroom they had decided to convert into the nursery.

"In here," she said in a sing-song voice, the pregnancy hormones were definitely triggering the mood swings.

Rosalie had always been loving, in a way, but she was always more of a sexed up, car ogling, beer drinking, foul mouthed, sorority goddess who all men bowed down to. Seeing her as a mother figure had never been something I could imagine. Emmett had been hopelessly smitten with her after his sophomore year in college, because she was the first girl he actually had to make an effort to keep up with.

When I nudged open the door with one of the paint cans, I was in awe of the transformation. Rose had definitely been nesting, and hardcore from what I could tell.

The walls were painted a muted baby blue, with white cloud shapes delicately sponged onto them. Emmett had installed white wainscoting to the lower half of the room, bordered on the top by a thin wooden chair railing. There was also a wide, white crown molding installed at the ceiling level. They had definitely gone for the classic little boy room theme as I took in all of the nursery furniture.

There was a definite nautical theme, which I found infinitesimally amusing, considering it screamed Yuppie to me, but I guess we _were_ all yuppies, so I guess it fit.

All of the furniture was white, and styled in a rustic weathered Craftsman style. It looked like the kind of furniture you would expect to see in a seaside cabin, but somehow it seemed to look perfect.

The bedding was various shades of blue, with red and brown hints, images of little sailboats and seabirds scattered on the delicate cotton. His crib had a deep blue bumper pad and bed skirt, and soft blue sheets. There were curtains on both sets of windows that had small sailboats dotting them sporadically. The rocking chair perched in the corner had a padded back and seat that looked like they were covered with tiny albatrosses.

I almost had to bite back a sob when I saw Rosalie sitting in it, stroking her belly lovingly as she closed her eyes and sat back against the padding, humming along with the classical music pouring out of the stereo that was hooked up on a dresser next to the door.

She looked so sweet and vulnerable, very un-Rosalie like, and I could instantly tell that she would make a wonderful mother. Her son might learn every curse word in the book before the age of two, but she would be the best mommy. Looking at her, I couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy, which was really strange, because up until a few days ago, I hadn't been in any way shape or form ready to even attempt motherhood.

Being sick was really screwing up my head, especially when it had me fantasizing about tiny little pink onesies. _God, get it together Bella._

"Rose? Are you listening to Debussy?" I said, trying to bite back a laugh.

Her head shot up instantly and she shot me a look filled with panic and hatred as I tried to stifle a giggle.

"What? Classical music is supposed to make your child a genius, and I figured since he has your brother's DNA, he can use all the help he can get," she mused, her features relaxing slightly as she began to rock.

"Hey, I resent that! I have that DNA too, and I graduated with honors last year," I said, feigning annoyance. I knew what she was talking about, Emmett was smart, but slightly socially retarded, so I hope my nephew got his smarts from his mommy. I could only imagine my nephew telling Emmett to 'suck it' someday.

I was more than excited to see my little tiny nephew. Alice and I had spent a half an hour at lunch earlier in the week musing over whether he would have Emmett's dark hair and curls, or Rosalie's blond tresses. Then we got into a heated debate over whether blue eyes or brown ones were better. Either way, with the genes that this little boy was receiving, and the wit of both of his parents, he would definitely be a heartbreaker someday.

I couldn't even being to imagine what my children would look like, but I hoped that the clumsy gene would skip a generation, or I would be spending countless hours in the Emergency Room no doubt. Although, if they took after their father, being clumsy might not factor into being graceful in water. Even I can swim, although the one time that Edward tried to show me a turn, I did almost give myself a concussion when I came into contact with the bottom of the pool.

"Sooo….Bella, what's wrong with you lately, you look like shit," she said totally off the cuff, without even a smidgen of remorse. Rosalie never hesitated to tell anyone exactly what she was thinking, which was amusing, but only when it was directed elsewhere.

"Well, I don't know what Emmett has told you, but I've just been really sick for the last week or so, you know, throwing up and fever kinda stuff. It's probably just the flu," I said quickly, sliding the changing table and dresser away from the wall so I could lay out a drop cloth.

"Or Edward's little swimmers finally got to the mark," she said laughing, throwing me a wink.

"No, it's probably not that Rose, I'm on the pill, and we are always really careful," I replied, as my mind began to race.

Oh god, if Rose was right, and I really was pregnant, how would I ever tell Edward, holy crap, no, it couldn't be. Could it?

"Whatever you say Bella, I'm sure you'll be fine. Just go to the doctor this time, we don't need another almost appendix rupture, Emmett nearly had a heart attack with that one."

"I know, I know, Edward guilt tripped me into going to the doctor on Thursday, I'm sure I'll probably be better by then, but I still promised that I would go."

In college, during my first semester at school, I had gotten really sick all of a sudden, and even though I insisted I would be fine, when I passed out on my way to class, Emmett freaked out a drove me to the Emergency Room. It turned out my appendix was inflamed, and I was lucky that it didn't burst, now anytime I got sick, Emmett guilt tripped me into going to the doctor, well, if Edward didn't get to it first.

Emmett had even tried to convince Edward during his clinical rotations that he needed to be a family doctor, but Carlisle had won the fight when Edward decided that trauma surgery was his calling. Luckily, my accidents had never warranted surgery, so Edward had yet to see me in his portion of the hospital.

"Well that's good Bells, at least you have a doctor at home to nurse you back to health," she said with a wicked grin on her face. Yup, pregnancy hormones are in full swing today.

Rosalie had always been a little on the frisky side, but during her second trimester, Emmett actually hid at our house one entire weekend with Edward just to get away from her. He swore that she was going to break her favorite part of his anatomy if she didn't leave it alone. She even showed up in his office only wearing a trench coat and a pair of Manolo's when he stayed late at work one night. I didn't want to know those kinds of details about my brother's sex life, but Rose was never shy, I just had to learn to tune out the parts that wanted to make me shove knives in my ears.

"He's a surgeon Rose, he doesn't do the flu," I said giggling. God, where did that come from, I must be going crazy, first I'm puking, then fantasizing about tiny clothes, now I'm inadvertently rhyming.

"I know, I know, but I'm sure he makes role playing fun, he already has a built in doctor wardrobe. Does he tie you up with stethoscopes?"

"God Rose, your mind is in the gutter today, what's wrong with you?"

"What? Can't a girl live vicariously through her sister? I can't have sex for like the next two months, can you blame me?"

That is definitely one thing that I would not look forward to, first a small melon squeezes its way out of your lady parts, then your husband lusts after your ability to produce milk. To top it all off, you are banned from sex for two months while you shrink back down to normal size. Yeah, definitely not looking forward to popping out babies; I so want a c-section when I have one, _someday_.

"I guess not, but at least you will have your cute little baby boy to keep you distracted," I offered, knowing that Rosalie would not take the bait, she was terrified of the baby coming. She had even avoided naming him up to this point because she was in denial that he was literally only weeks away from being introduced into the world.

"Yeah, distracted, with no sleep, lots of poop, and probably lots of screaming, if your brother's behavior is any gauge."

I laughed, because it was such a Rose thing to say, and then went back to my task of shifting furniture and laying out drop cloths.

"So Rose, where exactly am I placing these adorable sail boats?"

"Well, since the clouds are already painted, courtesy of Mama Whitlock, I would have figured that you were smart enough to figure out that the boats go underneath the clouds, where the water is painted."

"Ok, smart ass, how far apart would you like these little boats?" I mused, as Rosalie continued rocking, absentmindedly rubbing her belly.

She had definitely softened in the last few months of her pregnancy, and I thought that it was mildly amusing that she still pretended to be her usual, foul-mouthed self.

"Well, it's totally up to you, but I would venture to guess, that probably one every foot or so would look cute, but you are the one in charge of the paintbrush today auntie Bella."

I nodded and began to pop open the lids on the pints of paint, taking in the stark white, deep blue and fire engine red paint held in each of them. I had some experience with stenciling, because during my fascination with having my first apartment with Alice in college, I decided that I needed to take the landlord up on his acceptance of letting us paint our apartment.

I despised crisp white walls, they were too depressing, so I opted to paint the walls a muted gold color, and stenciled a flowing border of green vines along the ceiling. It wasn't much, but it was enough to keep me from getting depressed staring at the sterile white walls. Even when we built the house, I made sure that it was painted a calming brown tone, because white was just not going to cut it.

"Ok, Rose, do you need anything, you know, before I get started? Do you want me to help you get to your room to lay down?"

"No Bells, I'm good, it would just be really good to have some company right now. Since Em is gone, I've been kinda lonely, Jasper had to go back to New York with the _thing_, so you are pretty much my only adult company besides Claudia, and she is busy at some gallery opening this weekend, so please, keep me entertained," she pleaded, pushing out her bottom lip in the typical Rosalie pout.

Even though Jasper and her are not blood related, they might as well have been twins. They both had warm blond hair, piercing blue eyes, and long legs. If Rose had been so inclined, she could have easily gotten into the modeling world as well, but she never wanted to flaunt her beauty like that, much to Emmett's chagrin. He, being a typical red blooded male, would have loved having his gorgeous wife gracing the covers of magazines nationwide, just so he could point and say 'hey, that hot bitch is my wife'.

"And how would you propose I do that Rose? I'm boring Bella, remember?"

"Hey, you are not boring, just sheltered, but you have broken into the world of fashion now, so how is _Couture_?"

"Well, work is good; it's kinda nice getting paid to read books. My editor really seems to love my work, my first issue is due out in a few weeks," I said happily, taping the first stencil to the wall. "Oh, and I am actually in the running to get my own column, but, it's not official yet, so don't tell Em, cause he will get all brotherly and proud on me, and I don't want to disappoint him if it doesn't happen."

"Wow Bells, I always knew that your affinity for literature would pay off, even if it did keep you from enjoying college while you were there."

"Hey, I partied, I went to the house all the time, don't act like I never did anything," I pouted, taking in her amused smirk.

"Bella, you may have gone to the house, but you always had a body guard, first it was Em, then Jake; and no one would go near you after you started dating Edward. Going to a party doesn't mean you enjoyed the party."

I laughed, because she was right, I did shelter myself, but why should I go around drinking copious amount of alcohol when it was pointless, it would only lead to stupidity.

"Hey, I let Edward make me dance, that alone means that I tried to attempt to act like a college student."

"I know Bella, but sometimes, I feel like you came out all grown up, and never really let loose, as soon as you started to come out of your shell, Edward snatched you up before you really let your hair down."

"I know, but I never really felt the need to put on the act, once we got together, I was just happy, ya know?"

"Yeah," she laughed. "We all know how happy you were when you finally got to live out your dirty Edward fantasies. We all thought you two were both prudes, but yeah, after spending several months practically sharing a wall with you two, I guess that wasn't true."

Edward and Emmett had lived together for a few years before either of them had the nerve to get engaged. Rose and I practically lived at their apartment, and I was sure that on more than one occasion that both of us had heard something we didn't want to coming from the other side of the shared bedroom walls.

Neither of us were virgins when we started dating, but I had only been with one other guy, this innocent boy I had dated in high school named Eric, but it had only been a few times, and it was awkward and filled with lots of gangly knee rubbing and forced moaning.

Edward on the other hand, had the reputation of being a playboy, but he had only been with two other people, one was his best friend from high school, who wanted to know what it felt like, so they tried it, once. The other was a girl he had dated his sophomore year at UW, and he had felt pressured to when they ended up too drunk one night.

Sure, he dated lots of cheerleaders and sorority girls, but he never went on more than a few dates with any of them, telling me later that he couldn't make himself lust after someone who only had an interest in shoes and dating someone to gain social status. He said that I was the first girl he went out with who didn't treat him like he was a trophy, and he liked that I wasn't afraid to disagree with him.

"Yeah, cause we all know that you and Em were innocent, and _never_, ever did anything that made me want to wear ear plugs to bed."

"Hey, at least you finally let your inner freak out Bella, Ali and I thought you were gonna combust if you spent any more time fantasizing about Edward in his little blue Speedo. Although, it did make for some entertaining small talk when we forced you to speak to him after meets. I could tell how much you wanted to glance down and take a peek at the goods."

I couldn't help but laugh at Rosalie's take on my obsession with Edward during college. Before he had danced with me at that spring formal, I never even knew that he had looked at me as anything but his buddy's little sister, but according to Rose and Alice, he had definitely been checking me out since the time we met. Apparently, more than once, he had requested to Rosalie that she bring me to house functions, but he never worked up the nerve to talk to me.

"Hey, I did not check out his goods, at least not until after we started dating," I said, blushing my usual shade of crimson. Stupid cheeks, always giving me away.

"Yeah right Bella, cause I'm sure all of your thoughts about him were pure. Hell, not even all my thoughts about that boy in a Speedo were pure, but I had Em to look at too, so I chose to admire my man, instead of his skinny pale friend."

By this time, I had finished stenciling the first sailboat, and carefully peeled back the tape on the stencil so I could move it to the next place. I had to admit, this room was freaking cute, and I could just imagine Em rolling around on the floor playing with his son. He was going to make such an amazing father, and I was glad that we lived close enough to each other that I could see it first hand.

Spending time being shuffled between two households as kids had been hard, and I always felt bad that my mom had pushed Charlie out of the picture as much as she had. I knew that she had never been happy with him, but I hated the fact that she used Em and I to punish him. I could tell that she secretly resented him for getting her pregnant with my brother when she was nineteen, but she had tried, waiting it out until I was two to leave him. Even still, it was hard to grow up living on the other side of the country from one parent or the other.

That is why I knew that no matter where Emmett and Rosalie ended up, I would make sure that we would be close to each other. We relied on each other so much as kids, and I could never stand to be too far away from him. I had even decided that going to UW was the only option for me, because going to a school away from him would have been too much.

"Ok Rose, enough reminiscing, your turn to answer questions," I said, not really feeling up to listening to her rant and rave about how I should thank her for making me over during college so Edward finally could get up enough courage to talk to me, well, for more than a few minutes.

"Sure, what do you want to know, you know I'm an open book."

I chuckled, because I knew it was true, if you knew the right way to ask a question, Rose would answer it, no matter how inappropriate it may be.

"Are you ready?"

"Ready for, oh…..um, I guess as ready as I'll ever be, I mean, this little man is coming out in a few weeks whether I want him to or not, so yeah, I'm ready."

"Are you scared?"

"Is Rosalie Hale, now Swan scared of anything?"

I laughed again, she had a point. "I guess not, just as fearless and foul mouthed as ever."

"Well, I think I might just have to come up with more PG curse words though, wouldn't want to terrify the preschool teachers later on, and I'm sure he will learn enough when Em slips up and drops the 'f' bomb. You Swans sure do have a thing for the 'f' word," she laughed, resuming her rocking.

"Yeah, I guess, Emmett rubbed off on me, although Edward seems to like it," I said, turning around to throw her a wink.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, you never cease to amaze me. So how is Alice these days?"

Oh god, the topic I didn't really want to get into, how do you explain what has been going on in Alice's life without revealing the two men she has been interacting with. Although her conversations and time with Jasper have been professional in nature, she was lusting after him like no tomorrow. And then, there was the whole friends with benefits debacle, Rosalie would eat that shit up, but then Alice would never hear the end of it.

"Well, she's been really busy with work, it's nice seeing her everyday, she's quite impressive when she's in action at the office."

"I bet, Alice always has been spirited. Is she seeing anyone?"

No, no, no! Why does she never take the hint, well Bella, because it's Rose, and she wants to know everything, including everyone's dirty secrets.

"Not anymore," I responded quickly, trying not to take the bait.

"Nobody? Seriously?"

"She's not dating right now; her love life had gotten a little complicated, so yeah, she's taking a break."

"Interesting," she said calmly. I turned around and she had stopped rocking and had a contemplative look on her face.

"I think I might know someone who would be interested in Alice," she mused, Rose was developing a plan.

"Who?" _What? I was curious._

"Well, you know that Jasper has been unhappy with Maria," she started. Oh man, this is gonna get interesting, I can tell, if she only knew.

"Uh huh," I said, focusing my attention back to dabbing the red paint on the hull of the little sailboat I had been working on.

"I think we should get the two of them together, he would love Alice."

"And you would be alright with that? I mean, setting Alice up with your brother?"

"Well I suggested it, didn't I?" she said with a little mirth.

"Oh, ok, well I'll talk to Alice; I think she may be receptive to the idea."

Well, I guess Alice won't have to deal with getting the Rosalie Swan seal of approval, little does she know, she's itching to push her brother at her.

"What about Maria?" I asked, trying to get some inside information.

"Well, she has been awful to him lately; I think he might have actually had enough. The last time I talked to him on the phone, he was very calm, it was odd, but he didn't really want to talk about her. He even tried to get out of going to Fashion Week in New York, but he's meeting with his agent, so he decided to go anyways."

"Hmmm. Alice is in New York at Fashion Week too right now."

"Small world, I wonder if they will see each other, not that they would know who the other one was, I don't think that Alice has ever met him. Yeah, I'm pretty certain of it, she ran out of there to babysit Jacob before he came to the shower. What was up with that anyways?"

Yeah, she ran away with her tail between her legs because she couldn't stand to be in the same backyard with your gorgeous brother and her hookup.

"They live close to each other, she takes care of him when he gets sloppy drunk sometimes. They work in the same building, his magazine is a few floors down from ours," I said, trying to remain nonchalant, the last thing I needed was for Rosalie to detect my blush and know that I was full of shit.

"Oh, that's cool, he was just looking at her with this ridiculously happy grin on his face, but I guess that's just Jacob. I could have sworn I saw them acting all cozy at your reception," she said thoughtfully, luckily my growling stomach created a diversion, and I was able to change the topic quickly.

"God Bella, I think your stomach is trying to break out of there," she chuckled.

"Yeah, my appetite has been off lately, I seem to be burning through my lunch of cheerios quickly. You hungry?"

"Aren't I always?" she shot back, even when she was a size two, Rosalie could pack away greasy food with the best of them, I think that's why Emmett loves her so much, she's the male version of him, well, with a little more tact.

"What do you want to eat? Do you want me to cook something for us both?"

"Ugh, no, take out is much better, Claudia keeps making me eat this all natural organic crap, saying that it'll be healthier for the baby."

I couldn't help but laugh at that, imagining Rosalie going anywhere near organic food, which had the tendency to taste like cardboard, was enough to make me loose it.

"Mmmmm, Thai food, I'm craving some peanut sauce," she said as she closed her eyes and a look of satisfaction spread across her cheeks.

"I thought you weren't supposed to eat peanuts while you are pregnant," I asked.

It was one of the random bits of information about pregnancy scattered about in my brain, that and the importance of folic acid to spinal cord development, which I had learned by watching one too many Tropicana commercials.

"Ugh, fine, I won't expose my child to an unnecessary allergy," she huffed, leaning back against the headrest padding.

We settled on pizza, but I ordered a salad, not wanting to aggravate my overly sensitive stomach. It was really good, and surprisingly enough I ate the entire thing.

After we ate, I finished painting all of the little sailboats and went to tuck Rosalie into bed, I could tell that she was exhausted, and the stress of being by herself was not helping.

"You sure you will be alright here alone Rose?" I asked as I pulled the covers up over her swollen belly.

"Hmmm, Oh yeah Bells, just make sure the phone is on the nightstand before you go, I'll call you if I need anything. Hopefully Em will be home soon, he wasn't sure how long he would have to be gone," she said, curling herself up on her side and settling into the pillows.

"Ok hun, just call me if you need me to come back over, I'm here, anytime, just call me."

"Mmmm, ok Bella, night," she mumbled as her breathing began to even out.

I quietly went back into the nursery and made sure that all of the paint cans were sealed before I went downstairs to the laundry room to wash off the stencils and brushes in the utility sink. Sure, I could let Claudia come in and clean up after me in the morning, but it was nice taking care of someone besides Edward, and in a way, tonight had been good for me. I missed spending time with Rosalie, and it resolved a few issues for me, and especially for Alice.

I knew that I would never tell her about Rose wanting to set her up with Jasper, because well, Alice needed to sort it out on her own, she didn't need to have him handed to her on a silver platter, then she would just panic and second guess it all. But knowing that Rosalie trusted her with her brother, that was golden, because she knew Alice and Jasper would be perfect for each other, and that was enough for me to keep on nudging her in his direction.

I also came to the conclusion that while I still knew that I wasn't quite ready, I wasn't as scared of the possibility of becoming a mother one day, if Rosalie could jump in head first, knowing that everything would be alright, then I could too.

When I was done, and had cleaned up my mess and folded up all of the drop cloths, I moved all of the furniture back into place and appraised my work, my little sailboats were adorable, and I hoped that I would be able to spend a lot of time in this nursery. I fully intended to be the best aunt this little boy could ask for, and I was happy that my brother had started the next chapter in his life.

I turned off all the lights in the upstairs and went in a made sure that Rosalie's phone was plugged into the charger on her nightstand. She looked so sweet and vulnerable sleeping curled up around a pillow, and I kissed her on the temple before I headed downstairs.

Checking to make sure that all of the doors were locked; I made my way back to my car and made the short trek home.

Edward was home from the hospital, and when I got inside, he was curled up on the couch asleep, with Bailey draped across his lap. His messy bronze hair hanging down in his eyes, and a little half smirk on his lips as he peacefully dozed.

I hated to wake him, but I knew if he slept on the couch his back would be sore in the morning, not to mention that Bailey was forty pounds of dead weight, and would make his legs fall asleep.

"Edward," I whispered, leaning over the back of the couch to brush his hair out of his face.

"Mmmm," he hummed, as his smile grew wider.

"Wake up, Edward, let's go to bed."

"Mmmmm, Bella, I love you," he rasped as he pulled his hand up to his eyes to rub them.

"Love you too baby, let's go upstairs."

He reached his hands up over his head and stretched as he kicked his legs around, effectively waking up Bailey, who groaned and reluctantly hopped off of him and stretched before running up the stairs.

She was never more excited than when it was time for bed, the crazy, lethargic dog. She loved going to bed more than she loved going outside.

Edward sat up and arched his back, scratching his chest and yawning. He always looked adorable when he was tired, and I could tell that he was in a cuddly mood this evening. He usually never let Bailey curl up on top of him, so that was a pretty good indication.

"How you feeling, love?" he asked as he stood up and reached for my hand.

"Better, I had a good time with Rose; I think she might actually be excited for the baby."

"Did they name him yet?" he asked as he twined our fingers together and headed for the stairs.

"Nope, but Emmett is pushing for a junior, so we'll see," I said chuckling; I knew that the world would be a crazy place if there were two Emmett Swans running around.

He led me up the stairs quietly, holding onto my hand intently as we walked. When we got into the bedroom, he sat me down on the edge of the bed and carefully pulled off my shoes, and then my socks. He rubbed my feet softly, earning a few moans from me in the process. I was glad that my Edward was back, because I had really not wanted to keep fighting with the man that had taken up residence in his body the last few months or so.

Edward continued to remove articles of my clothing until I was only wearing a pair of cotton boy shorts. Then he stripped himself down to his boxers and grabbed the pile of clothing, taking it into the bathroom, only to reappear a few minutes later to turn off all of the lights.

He walked over and placed a sweet kiss on my lips, and caressed my cheekbones with both of his thumbs. The kiss started out sweet, but then became more heated as he began to brush his hands down my sides, effectively arousing my nipples.

I hummed at the sensation, and he took this as a cue and parted my lips with his tongue, while he moved his hand to cup the back of my head as he leaned me down towards the mattress.

He broke the kiss after a few minutes and stood back up, pulling the covers from underneath me and turning my legs before he climbed under them with me, settling himself between my legs, supporting his weight on his elbows as he smoothed the hair out of my face.

His touch was almost reverent, and I could feel him pouring every ounce of affection inside of him into me with his deep green eyes.

"I love you Bella, I'm sorry if I take you for granted sometimes," he whispered as he softly brushed his lips against mine. I had been waiting for those words for months now, and they made my heart swell.

"I love you too Edward, make love to me, please…" I whispered against his lips.

He kissed me again, but this time it was with more passion, and I whimpered when his erection began to brush up against me through our undergarments. I pushed back, seeking out any kind of friction and he laughed at me softly, kissing across my cheek before he softly sucked on my earlobe.

"Patience love, I intend to take my time with you," he whispered as he continued his trail of kisses along my jaw, down to my neck and across my shoulders.

His fingertips were running a trail of fire along my sides as he teased the sides of my breasts, softly touching them, as he kissed his way down to my chest.

When he took one of my nipples into his mouth, I arched my back into him and cried out as his other hand ran down my stomach and across the top of my panties.

He continued to lavish my chest with open mouthed kisses as he hooked the sides of my underwear and slowly dragged them down my legs. My entire body was energized and flushed as he trailed his kisses down to my belly button, over my pelvis and down my legs as he followed his hands.

Before he returned back up, he leaned back and pulled down his boxers, his erection springing free.

Once he had deposited our undergarments beside the bed, he pulled the covers around him and leaned back down, resuming his position between my legs, brushing his manhood along my thigh.

He positioned himself at my entrance and looked into my eyes with love, as he leaned forward capturing my lips in a soft kiss as he eased into me. The sensation of him being inside of me was tighter than normal, but every nerve ending inside of me felt like a live wire being sparked as he slowly began to move his hips against mine.

I leaned my head back into my pillow as I arched against him, one of his hands sliding around to the small of my back to hold me firmly in place as he quickened his pace.

The only sounds in the room were our soft moans and heaving breathing. I could feel the tension building inside of me as he continued to thrust in and out of me in even strokes, and when he leaned down to softly kiss the hollow of my throat and back up to my ear, I let out a strangled cry of ecstasy and my walls clamped down on him. I arched up as electricity coursed through my veins and he whispered words of love and adoration in my ear as I rode out my high.

Once my body had relaxed back from my orgasm, I pushed on his shoulder gently, and he rolled us over, so I was straddling his waist. I repositioned myself and slowly slid back down his shaft, earning a loud moan from him as his eyes clamped shut and he threw his head back against the pillow.

"God Bella, you are so tight," he grunted as he began to push his hips up towards me.

I began to rock back and forth slowly, and I could see the muscles in his arms and shoulders tense up as he clamped his fingers down on the sides of my hips.

I leaned forward and began to blow spurts of hot air behind his earlobe as I continued to ride him, grinding my hips against his. I could feel him clenching the muscles in his thighs below me and knew that he was getting close.

When I took his earlobe in my mouth and sucked lightly, he grunted and began to push me against him faster, pushing me towards a second release.

I moaned against his neck and began to suck lightly at the skin along the side of his neck. My hips began to rock faster, and as I felt my second orgasm overtake me, he moaned out my name and gripped the sides of my thighs as he released into me.

Collapsing on top of his chest, I tried to even out my breathing as he ran his hands up and down my sweaty back. I could hear his heart pounding wildly in his chest, and there was a light sheen of sweat across his forehead and along his neck.

Once my breathing had returned to normal, I kissed him lightly on the forehead and raised myself off him, and nestled into the crook of his arm with my head on his chest, while he rubbed my shoulder.

"Night Edward," I cooed as I kissed him on the side of his neck.

"Mmmm, night Bella, love you," he whispered as he took in a deep breath and sighed.

Sleep found me shortly after as I listened to the steady beat of Edward's heart, and I felt content with my world, everything had once again returned to perfection.

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A/N: Ok people, let us know what ya think……we are only a few chapters away from some major drama, so stay tuned, it's about to get real juicy!**

**Thank you again to all of you, you have made this a very rewarding experience, and working with Nostalgicmiss has been a blast. She truly cracks me up and I am glad to have her as a writing partner…..and……she puts up with my whiny emo crap when I get writer's block, so bless her……:)**


	15. Ding Dong The Witch is Dead!

**Disclaimer: **_**All things Twilight belong to the Amazing Stephenie Meyer . . . Every other copyrighted name belongs to the rightful owners . . . and I am the rightful owner of one potty mouth, so I apologize, lol :0) . . .**_

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Ding Dong the Witch is Dead!**

**APOV**

I had spent the last couple of days fixated on the fact that Jasper hadn't called me. I understood - to an extent - why he hadn't. Maria made it very clear how she felt about us interacting when she'd demanded his attention in the restaurant. Her perfectly painted claws had hooked into his face pulling his gaze from my own.

She had made a statement, to both of us, in that one moment and it hadn't been lost on me at all. I still wondered whether she loved him, or if he was just a shiny possession she liked to stake claim to. She'd ignored him until she noticed his attention was not on her.

I was so paranoid now; I hoped I hadn't made his life more difficult by wanting to become his friend.

Shawn and Mark had managed to make me laugh, keeping me occupied after I explained what happened. They weren't going to let me run out of there like I wanted to. They kept me there, telling me to keep my head up and not even acknowledge what had happened, because if I did, the bitch had won.

Won what, I wasn't exactly sure, but I was a competitive woman; it came with the territory. I had been competing for one thing or another my entire life, so why should this be any different?

That night back at the hotel, was horrible, being alone again ensured that I dwelled on the whole situation, analyzed it until I confused myself so thoroughly I broke down into tears. I had decided I would do my job and go home. Sure, I had tickets to see every show this week, but what was the point when I just wanted to crawl under a rock and hide from the world?

I finally convinced myself that I would leave the choice with Jasper. If he wanted to be my friend, that was his decision. I, pathetic as it was, would be here waiting. I left the ball in his court. I was sure he would contact me either way, it was who he was.

So I waited for Jasper to call me. I waited, and waited, and, you got it, I waited some more, and nothing. It had been four days and there was still nothing. I had called Bella frantically panicked and disappointed. I believed I had ruined it. I wasn't sure how I had done it, I had only smiled at him; but there was obviously something wrong.

When I was alone in my room at night, I tried to think back at the exact words Bella had said regarding Jasper and Maria. Was he really that unhappy with her?

The runway shoot had come and gone, and I was now hanging around attending the rest of the shows, even though my excitement had diminished with my hope of hearing from Jasper. Thankfully, I had made a friend, her name was Shannon; she was Shawn's intern. I would have been long gone if it hadn't have been for her encouragement.

She had the same affinity for fashion as I did and she was one of the only reason's I had tortured myself this long. I was ready to leave after the shoot. Shawn had just given me a rack of custom made clothes; he'd called Amanda at the office after I had agreed to do the shoot, and persuaded her to give him my measurements. Once he had told her what he had planned, she complied happily knowing how much I would love it.

Shannon had been the one to roll in the rack; her eyes alight as she waited for my reaction. I didn't disappoint. I had thrown myself into Shawn's arms, leg wrapped tightly around his waist, and almost strangled him to death in my excitement. When I had finally composed myself enough to talk coherently, he just laughed telling me it was worth every second. In fact his exact words were:

_"If I was straight; I would be hard right now."_

After a short bout of excited laughing, and playful banter, he left, he had to take the shots to the ad executives and get them ready for their new ad campaign, he was excited about how things turned out and I was happy that I could help him. Shannon had helped me carry all the garment bags to my room and we got talking. Fashion is a universal language.

There was a bar in the basement of the hotel, _The Cellar Bar_, and that night, Dolce and Gabbana were having a soiree down there, celebrating the success of the catwalk show. Consequentially, Shannon invited me. When I turned her down, she seemed surprised.

My reputation preceded me again; but I was morose, which seemed to make Shannon all the more curious. When I gave her a brief run down on what had been going on, she practically attached herself to me, promising that this week was going to be one of the best. She refused to let me squander in my own self pity, and for that I had to be thankful.

We had gone out every night since, and I had a perpetual hangover. I hadn't drunk that much in years and it was taking its toll, concealer was my new best friend. I was tired, grumpy and hung over, it seemed all play and no work made Alice a grouchy girl. Still, I only had a couple of days left, and she continued to feed me hope – along with alcohol – and I just went right along with it, wishing she were right.

Tonight was Wednesday, day four. In New York, it was a popular night to go out, well, it was simply popular to go out on weeknights, trendy even. This confirmed my belief that New Yorkers were just plain awesome, weird, but awesome.

We had mostly been frequenting bars up to this point, but she had been nagging so much I had finally agreed to go with her, and she promised to take me to the spot all the film stars hung out in. I wasn't really worried about all that; I just seemed to enjoying drowning my sorrows . . . _What the hell was I doing_?

"Alice? Aren't you ready yet?" Shannon's voice broke through my silent contemplation of the week's events. She was so damn impatient. People thought _I_ was hyper; they would think I was a damn snail compared to this girl.

I pulled open the door and stuck my head out of the bathroom. I had given her a key to my room because the girl always showed up early and I was normally in the shower. This time I was fully dressed, just putting the finishing touches on my make-up.

"Will you be patient woman," I laughed, rolling my eyes at her enthusiasm. Seeing as they had given me two tickets to every event, Shannon had been on loan to me from Shawn. I had never been thanked so much in my life. Shannon was being paid to attend the shows with me.

"Robert Pattinson is gonna be there tonight, this is the highlight of my life, and you're dragging your feet." She groaned playfully exaggerating her disappointment.

"Will you calm down," I laughed, disappearing back into the bathroom and brushing mascara through my lashes.

Shannon mumbled in the other room and I giggled silently. The girl had been talking about this since the day met her and I was purposely teasing her for my own amusement. I clicked off the light and stepped into the room, rummaging through the closet for the perfect shoes to match the dress I was wearing.

I slipped them on quickly and picked up my clutch. "Ready."

"_Fi_nally," Shannon sang, dragging out the first syllable. She grinned and jumped up from the couch with a little too much enthusiasm and teetered on her heels. She wasn't much taller than I was and she enjoyed the benefit of heels. I always had, heels were like walking barefoot to me now.

We headed down to the lobby where there was a small group of chattering people heading towards the Cellar bar. I had fallen in love with the place when we I had visited it for the first time during the Dolce and Gabbana party. The high ceilings gave the feel of an older time; they peaked in certain spots and the tile was very obviously vintage. Yet the furnishings were all modern with clean lines and warm rich colors. It felt comfortable there, and I had promised myself another visit before I left.

As soon as we stepped outside, Shannon threw her hand in the air, and her other to her mouth whistling loudly; not giving the poor doorman time to do his job. I stood close to the building sheltering myself from the cold wind that was making its way through the dark city. Should have worn a damn coat.

"Come on, Alice," Shannon called, as one of the city's many yellow cabs pulled up to the curb and stopped.

I ran towards the big yellow car and slid in behind Shannon as she gave the driver the address of the club. She was a typical cosmopolitan New Yorker, beautiful, fashionable and confident. Her dark layered hair was always perfect and she consistently moved at a hundred miles an hour. I was exhausted.

I let my head lay on the seat of the cab as I let my mind wander away from me once again. I had been doing this all week, one quiet moment and I was thinking about him again. I really had no idea what had happened. I could have called him a thousand times by now, and almost had half a dozen, but I didn't want to look like a desperate stalker following him around like a mindless idiot.

I still had my pride, but inside I was desolate. I was far away from my home and my friends, and I had never felt more alone in my life. Bella had always been the most amazing, supportive friend and as much as I needed her. I refused to call her every time I started having a pity party because in all honesty, if that were the case, I would be on the phone with her every five minutes. I was feeling a little insecure, and I was way out of my comfort level.

"Earth to Alice, snap out of it, we're here." Shannon giggled.

Being closest to the curb, I pushed the door open while Shannon threw money at the driver, and followed me out. I could hear the base of the music from here, I was definitely getting too old for this crap, I would much prefer a bar any day of the week.

"This is going to be so much fun," Shannon grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the velvet rope where a huge man was standing with his arms folded across his chest. He smiled at us as we walked up and I heard the resounding groan from the line of people waiting for entrance that ran along the side of the building and curved around.

I felt terrible, I wanted to step back and tell them all to go ahead of me, but I knew that Shannon would kill me, and the bouncer would shut me off too. Was that really such a bad thing? I doubted it, but Shannon had been talking about tonight all week. I knew this was how things worked in places like this but I still never liked to take advantage of it. In Seattle things were always first come, first served and I preferred it that way.

Before I could think anymore on it, Shannon tugged me through the tall doors and into the darkness. The smell was the first thing to hit me. Alcohol, expensive perfume, and hot bodies was not the most pleasant combination. It wouldn't have been so bad if I was drunk, but stone cold sober, it wasn't the bouquet I really needed to be inhaling.

When the room opened up into a blur of spinning lights and noise, the smell faded a little, Shannon never let go of my hand once as she worked her way to the bar through the sea of people that just seemed to be standing around. She stopped at the bar and leaned over it, trying to get the attention of the bar tender.

I couldn't help but laugh as her body leaned on the counter, I knew what she was doing, and it worked. The bar tender loped over to us, his eyes directly on her chest.

"What can I get you?" he shouted.

Shannon looked at me and I grinned, "Beer."

"Two. Beers." Shannon shouted above the noise.

I liked beer, but I preferred wine. Still, in a club carrying around a wine glass wasn't the smartest idea; so, I went with the flow. The bar tender handed me a beer and I handed over the money, telling him to keep the change.

I leaned against the bar and took a mouthful of my beer, watching Shannon as her eyes scanned the club, it wasn't hard to see where the VIP section was, there was another set of velvet ropes and a too big guy standing in front of it, looking menacing.

"Think we can sneak past him?" Shannon asked over the music, her smile was contagious.

"I'm not sure I want to try," I called back, I held up my beer and smiled. "Maybe after a few more of these."

"I'm gonna make a lap and see if I can see anything, you wanna come?"

I laughed and shook my head, "I'll be right here."

Shannon gave me a smile and literally danced off into the sea of bodies that surrounded me. I took a deep breath and another mouthful of beer. What was I doing here? I was twenty-five years old, and I was standing amongst a sea of sweaty barely legal drinkers as they bounced their asses to the newest pop sensation. This wasn't me.

I pulled out my phone and checked the screen, no missed calls. Sadly, it had become a compulsion of mine. Even when I tried not to think about it, out it came. My excuse had been that I was looking at the time, but it's easier to lie to someone else than it is to yourself. How did spending one week with the guy, in a totally platonic way, get me into this mess?

I stood alone at the edge of the bar for a while before ordering two more beers. I finished one, and there was still no Shannon, so I drank the other. I was bored and beginning to get a little buzzed. With every mouthful I took, the beers started tasting better and better to me. I started drinking them a little too quickly and found myself a lot more than buzzed.

_How long had I been here?_

I pulled my phone from my clutch once again and realized I had been standing alone for more than an hour. I couldn't believe Shannon would leave me here alone for this long, but it was normally how clubs worked, I couldn't blame her for following the standard. I pushed my phone back into the clutch and snapped it shut.

"Hey beautiful," I looked up to find a guy leaning over me grinning broadly. I squinted my eyes a little to see him better. Yes, I was that inebriated. He wasn't cute, at all. His skin was greasy and scarred, his hair was black and shiny and he really didn't smell all that great either. He was tall and very thin. I immediately began calculating my odds. I was savvy to these types of guys, I knew how they operated.

"Can I help you?" I tried keeping the acidity from my voice so I wouldn't offend him.

"You can dance with me," he said grabbing my wrist with a little more force than necessary. I felt the bone in my wrist ache a little as he held me too tightly. Can I call them like I see them or what?

"You're hurting me," I pulled my hand with as much force as I could muster, but it didn't move it just burned as he tightened his grip. My heart started to speed up as my mind became fuzzier. "Let me go Asshole!"

He just smiled at me and started tugging me away from the bar. I planted my heels and looked around to see if anyone was willing to help me, but over the noise and the over crowded area, no one noticed my struggle.

I knew at four foot eleven, I was an easy target to people like this and I had been through so many self defense classes I knew I could fight him if I needed to, but I was half drunk, scared to death and alone. His bony fingers just put more pressure on my wrist the more I resisted.

"Alice Brandon?"

My head whipped around to find my savior, and as the tall handsome dark skinned boy danced towards me, the hand on my wrist disappeared. Fucking predators, all of them are big bitches when it comes down to fighting someone their own size.

I finally let myself breathe easy as I watched the all too familiar face travel towards me through the sea of bodies.

"Seth Clearwater? Is that you?"

The tall kid sidled up beside me and wrapped his sinewy arms around me holding me tight. He was Forks Alumni, he'd graduated a couple years after Bella and I. He'd always had a huge crush on Bella, but never had the guts to do anything about it. Still, he enjoyed spending time with us and we always welcomed him, he was sweet and considerate.

His white teeth were a perfect contrast to his dark skin and I laughed lightly, it was so good to see him. "Thanks for that."

"You shouldn't be in a place like this alone, Ali. Guys looks for girls like you, they think you won't be missed." he held my hand squeezing it as if to emphasize his point.

"I'm not alone, my friend is around somewhere," I laughed, "How are you? I heard you got signed after you joined that band in Portland."

"Yeah, we just put out a new album; me and the guys are celebrating. You wanna come join us?"

What are the odds?

"Sure, I need to find my friend though."

"It's all good, I'll put your name on the VIP list; our label reserved it for us tonight. If they give you any trouble, you tell them to come get me." he grinned proudly. I had forgotten how sweet he was, I hadn't seen him since we'd left for college.

"Will do, thanks again Seth."

"I want to catch up Alice, you were always my favorite cheerleader," he winked and squeezed my hand again before dropping it, and disappeared once again into the sea of bodies.

Bella wasn't going to believe this. Seth had chased after her from the moment he started Forks high. It was Bella's first year too, as a junior though. In fact, Seth had been Bella's first kiss. He was on the soccer team, and Bella would come to wait for me while I cheered. He was benched for two fouls and the coach sent him into the locker room to cool off.

He'd bumped into Bella on her way back from the girl's room. He had so much adrenaline running through his body, bless him, he leaned in and kissed her, Bella was stunned. He pushed her up against the wall and copped a feel as he shoved his tongue down her throat. Bella was stunned; she hadn't known how to react.

I laughed at the memory as my eyes scanned the room for Shannon. I had walked quite a way before I noticed her in the middle of the dance floor; swinging her hips against a cute guy. She was instantly forgiven for abandoning me. I was, however, going to mess with her.

"Where have you been, Shannon?" I asked as I reached her. She spun around and her eyes widened as the shock set in.

"Alice, shit, I'm so sorry. How long have I been gone?"

"Couple of hours I think, no big deal." I pointed to the velvet rope and the bouncer. "I thought you were going to try and get past him?"

"I tried, but he's a stubborn ass. Have you been all right? I am so sorry Alice, seriously I just lost track of time dancing."

"It's fine, Shannon." I laughed, "How about I take a stab at the bouncer?"

Shannon grinned, waved at the guy she'd been dancing with, and followed me over to the bouncer. He eyed her suspiciously, taking a deep breath. I could see that he remember her from earlier in the evening, he practically looked exasperated. His eyes moved to me and he waited pointedly for me to speak.

"Alice Brandon and a guest." I said clearly, leaning forward.

The guy looked directly at the bottom of the list and chuckled. He looked at Shannon and winked. "Tonight seems to be your lucky night, angel."

Shannon's mouth fell open and her head turned to look at me. I shrugged and took her hand towing her behind me as the bouncer unhooked the red rope and stepped to the side. I made my way toward a large area that was blocked off from the rest of the club by a large gauzy curtain.

Shannon pulled me to a stop before we reached it. "How the hell did you do that?"

"Have you ever heard of the "_Hounds of the Apocalypse"_? You know, the band?"

"Who hasn't, they're amazing."

"I went to high school with the lead guitar player."

"You _know _Seth Clearwater?"

I grinned and pulled her forward again. As we passed through the curtain, I looked around the space. Seth wouldn't be hard to find. He was tall and I was sure he would stand at least a head over all of the people in the room.

"Alice," A deep voice called catching my attention from further in the back.

I looked over to a large corner that was sectioned off and was adorned with red and gold throw pillows and a low Moroccan table sat in the middle. Of course it was as ostentatious as all hell, but this was the high life. Three guys were lounging comfortably, all of them drinking beer and laughing. Seth hopped up with graceful ease and loped over to us, his signature smile in place.

"You made it." He laughed and pulled me into another hug. Having someone from my past this close to me almost made me emotional, but I bit it all back and threw my arms around his waist squeezing him as tightly as I could. It was a little bit quieter in here so I knew it would be easier to talk and catch up.

"Thanks for having us," I laughed. "Seth, this is my friend Shannon, Shannon, this is Seth Clearwater, my favorite soccer player ever."

"Aw shucks, Ali, you're gonna make me blush."

I giggled and pinched his hip as I pulled away from him, I got nothing.

"Shit, Seth, do you work out?"

Seth pulled up his shirt and his tattooed chest rippled with muscles, and a perfectly defined six-pack sat comfortably before my eyes. That was a yes.

"Tattoos?"

He grinned again and took mine and Shannon's hands, pulling us towards the cushions he'd been lounging in before. He fell back onto them and pulled us down with him, Shannon giggled as she lost her balance and ended up on her side in the huge area. Seth picked up my hand gently and winked at me again.

"Guy's, I want you to meet one of my closest friends from high school, be respectful she's like a sister to me." He warned. "Alice, this is Justin, John, and . . . where the fuck is Derek?"

"Skank," Justin said quietly.

"Excuse me?" I knew what he meant but I couldn't resist it, he'd left himself wide open.

"Not you," he laughed playfully, "Derek is getting a blow job from some skank in the back."

"Dude, watch your fucking language, we have ladies present." Seth said throwing one of the loose cushions at his friend. He turned to me and smiled again. "So, do you still see Bella?"

"Yep, she's still my best friend, we're still thick as thieves, and I see her everyday. We work at the magazine together." I said smiling, "She got married, and so did Emmett."

"You're not married?"

"Seth, you know me better than that, I have issues. How many times did you try and kick a guy's ass for me? You know I make bad choices."

"Fucking Newton, that guy was such an asshole."

I nodded and looked down in my lap, I thought that I had liked Mike, but I discovered he was sleeping with the entire squad, everyone but me, Bella and Seth knew. No one had told Seth because he hung out with us occasionally.

"I heard he got Jessica Stanley pregnant the summer before college. He's working at his parents store and she's a burger flipper, with two kids on her hip." I said laughing. "I'm just so glad it wasn't me."

"Stanley? Is she the fuzzy haired chick with the buck teeth?"

"That's the one."

"Gross, Lauren Mallory is just as bad now. She met some guy freshman year of college and got an STD. Leah said she looks like shit."

"How is Leah doing?"

"Awesome, she's got a store in Port Angeles now, she like using that as the main office because it's closer to mom."

"Could you two get any lamer? You sound like a pair of grandma's gossiping over there," John laughed downing his beer and jumping to his feet swaying a little. "I'm getting another beer, anyone want?"

I smiled and nodded, as did Shannon. I was amazed how quiet she had been; she was normally the life of the party. I leaned into her and whispered so I wouldn't embarrass her.

"Everything alright?"

She nodded once and grinned, her eyes darting to Seth and back to me. She was star struck, with little Seth Clearwater. It was such a bizarre notion.

"Are there any restrooms back here? Or do you have to use the ones out front?"

"All the way to the back, there's a hallway, the restrooms are down that hall. You may want to avert your eyes; I think that's where people get frisky."

"Thanks, Clearwater, I will keep that in mind." I pulled myself off the cushions and stumbled towards the bathroom, pulling my phone from my purse. Still no messages, I guess I had to just stop obsessing, whatever was going on, it was obvious he needed time. That was something I _could_ give him.

I pushed the door open to the bathroom slowly, and I could hear grunting and groaning from inside. I stopped frozen in the door, and my hand shot up to my mouth to stop the laugh from escaping. Seth had warned me . . . was this the fourth of the band?

My curiosity got the better of me - as it usually did, and I slipped my head around the door to see who it was. Rather than amusement, anger surged inside of me, boiling from deep within me. I recognized the girl immediately; I could only assume the guy was Derek.

I stood silently, until the sounds of her giving him head was too much, I squeezed my fists into balls, and for the first time, I realized I still had my phone in my hand, and my phone had a camera attached!

I shouldn't . . . but I did, screw her and her stupid little high horse that she rode about. I took a couple of shots and cringed at the image, before getting it off the screen, somehow I had managed to get her face with a mouthful of . . . Well, Derek.

I stepped out of the door and let it close quietly. As I contemplated my next move, I grinned, there seemed to be no end to my evil this evening. I pushed the door open with brute force, it hit the wall behind it and made the two of them jump.

"Oh, crap, sorry I didn't realize . . . Maria?" I said squinting my eyes as if I couldn't see her properly. Derek's penis was still standing at attention by her head. Her eyes grew enormously wide and I could feel a smirk growing on my lips.

Without saying a word I turned around, I heard the snap of Maria's voice, and the venom as she called out my name.

"Alice,"

I turned around and raised my eyebrows; there was nothing she could really say to rectify the situation. I couldn't understand why she felt the need to either.

"Whatever you think I am feeling, you're wrong. It's pure embarrassment bitch; I broke up with Jasper's boring ass on Tuesday. So please, feel free to run along and tell him, because it's none of his goddamn business anymore."

"You're disgusting. It's nice to see you so torn up about the situation you whore." I spat and marched away, letting the door slam closed behind me.

I pulled out my phone again and pulled up one of the pictures that showed Maria's face well, I attached it to a text message, dialed in Bella's number and attached some text . . .

_Meet Maria!!_

Then I hit send.

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A/N: Hope you all enjoyed that, Maria is a skank who blows in a club bathroom, seems fitting doesn't it. I couldn't resist . . . Hounds of the Apocalypse . . . just sounded cool lol :0) . . . Alice isn't a voyeur or peeping thumbalina . . . her curiosity just got the better of her. I mean seriously, it would be a weird ass situation to walk into!! **

**Thank you to everyone for the alerts, faves and of course amazing reviews . . . you guys are seriously awesome, I wanna hug you all . . . GROUP HUG!**

**Tomorrow, it's over to the amazing goldentemptress . . . so I hand this over to her . . . You're up chick :)**

**See ya next Monday guys - Much love and big hugz - L-**


	16. The Dreaded Three Percent

**Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight, but do own some peanut butter cup ice cream, and it's delicious!**

**Thank you all so much! We are at over 200 reviews!!!! Ok, I'll talk more after the chapter, enjoy!**

**So I know this is the chapter alot of you have been waiting for patiently, and it's a monster of a chapter....LOL.....so I hope that you enjoy it! Also, happy belated birthday wishes to Lottie2303, who gives us fabulous reviews!!!  
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The Dreaded Three Percent**

**BPOV  
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The week had seemed to fly by, and before I knew it, it was already time to get up to go to work on Thursday. I groaned when my alarm went off, and hit the snooze so I could relax for eight more minutes before I needed to get up and get ready.

I was taking a half day today, because I still had my doctor appointment this afternoon. I had been feeling slightly better, only throwing up a few times since the weekend, but ever since Edward and I made love after I returned from painting the nursery, I had this uncomfortable cramping sensation in my lower abdomen.

To top things off, I had a major case of PMS, and my period had yet to make an appearance, at almost four days late. Saying that I was cranky was an understatement, and to add insult to injury, Alice had been calling me frantically all week.

Jasper has apparently dropped off the face of the planet, and she had been driving herself crazy worrying about that Maria bitch. She was such a psycho, I had never had the privilege of meeting her, but from what Claudia and Rose had both told me, it was something I should whole heartedly avoid.

Then there was the matter of going through a whole new interview process with the head of the features division, Suzanna's boss, who was a chauvinist pig. He reminded me of an older, much creepier version of James, and I had felt dirty as he tried to sneak peeks down my blouse in our lunch meeting with Suzanna yesterday.

The print on my article had apparently captured the attention of several higher ups in the company, and they were considering not only having me do a feature column in _Couture_, but in their home and decorating magazine as well. I was more than nervous to hear the news, but he assured us that it would be well after they analyzed the numbers when the issue was released in a few weeks. It also seemed to help that I was the daughter in-law of the renowned Esme Cullen. Who knew that nepotism would have its perks?

The buildup was killing me, but I knew that I would stay on with the magazine regardless of the outcome. I enjoyed my job, it kept me entertained, and it had gotten me out of the house. I still kept up my house cleaning duties, but it was nice to sit back and relax on the couch with Edward when we were both home in the evening.

He had even taken to helping me cook dinner, and it was nice to have the fun and free dynamic back in our relationship. Since he was being scouted for his upcoming residency, he had still been spending a lot of hours at the hospital, but without having to study so hard anymore, we could actually talk when he got home at night.

Apparently, since the incident in the bar, Tanya had backed off with her flirtations, and I wandered if it had anything to do with James. He had been back in the office yesterday, but he was avoiding me like the plague. Every time I saw him in the hallway, he would turn and practically run the other way. I could only hope that Alice had done something to shut him up, because I hated the way that he would sneak up on a person and try to whisper things in their ear, it made me want to vomit more than I already did.

As far as I was concerned, he could have Tanya, as long as it kept her away from Edward. I normally was not a jealous person, but she was bad news, and I think that Edward had finally realized it as well. Although he did get a kick out of making me squirm, knowing that I was fully capable of marking my territory in front of her now.

When the alarm buzzed for the second time, I reached over and turned it off, stretching before I pushed Bailey of my leg and rolled out of bed. She had no respect for personal space, and often decided that laying on top of my legs or in between them was the best way to sleep. More often than not, I just ended up kicking her off the bed in the middle of the night, but then being the baby that she is, she would whine until we would let her back up.

Surprisingly enough, the room was actually clean this morning, save a lone sock, peeking out from underneath Edward's side of the bed. It was a vast improvement, and I was happy that I was finally able to get through to him. Alice had been right, me working had brought out his compassionate and loving side, and he had started taking me less and less for granted. He still had his moments, mostly regarding starching of his scrubs, but for the most part, he had begun to help out around the house.

When I stood up, I stumbled back slightly, sitting back down on the edge of the bed. Whatever had been ailing me was obviously not gone, but at least I had started leaving a granola bar on my nightstand to eat when I woke up. I had found that as long as I kept myself fed, I could stave off the nausea.

After I had downed my granola bar, I felt a little better and wandered into the bathroom to take a shower. It felt good to stand under the spray of both shower heads and let the hot water assault me, it helped relieve the tension in my stomach, and I hoped today would be the day that I finally felt normal.

I was not looking forward to seeing my creepy doctor, but he was always professional, so I couldn't really complain, he was just old and stubborn. I think that is why Edward likes him so much, because there are a few younger doctors in the women's clinic attached to his hospital, and they are both known for their lothario-like behaviors with some of the surgical nurses.

Jealous Edward never ceased to amaze me, and I'm surprised that after more than five years, that he still had yet to drop his drawers and mark his territory. In some instances, it was a turn on to see him all bothered by the attention paid to me by other men, but on the other hand, when he let it get to him, he could be a cranky ass.

Once I had sufficiently cleansed myself with my strawberry scented Sephora shampoo and freesia scented body scrub, I decided that I was ready to face the day. I was dreading one fifteen, because I still had no idea what was wrong with me, but for the morning, I would suck it up and be a professional.

Drying myself off with a towel, and throwing on my robe after running a pick through my damp hair, I wandered over to the closet and began to rummage around through my work clothes.

Over the past few weeks, Alice has dragged me into the magic closet more times than I care to admit, and surprisingly enough, she has managed to get me into something other than suits from a chain store in the mall. Which is surprising, because normally, I would have fought her kicking and screaming for trying to force clothing that probably cost more than my first car onto me. Maybe life at _Couture_ would be good for me, at least as far as my sanity and fashion sense are concerned.

After I had gotten dressed and given myself a once over in the full length mirror behind the closet door, I declared myself decent enough to make my short appearance at work. This week was lonely, because Alice wasn't there to go to lunch with me, but I managed to keep myself busy regardless. Rosalie had been calling me at least once a day to give me an update on how she hated being bed ridden once again, and telling me about the nasty organic food that Claudia was still trying to force feed her.

Once Alice told me that Jasper was seemingly MIA, I had subtly asked Rosalie about him, but she said that she had not heard from him since he left for New York either. Whatever was going on with him, he had not let anyone know what was going on, and Alice was not the only person who was getting worried about him.

I felt so bad for the guy after Rosalie had filled me in on the _thing_ as Claudia likes to call her. Once the woman had gotten her claws into him, she would do anything she wanted to keep him there. It was absolutely disgusting. The fact that he let her do it was even more disturbing, but Jasper was not really the type to cause a major fuss, so he just seemed to let her have her way.

Morning traffic in Seattle was always a battle, even though I only lived maybe ten miles from work, it always seemed to take longer and longer to get to work each day. The only thing that kept me sane was listening to music on my IPod in the car on the way there. It calmed me down enough that I wasn't completely fired up by the time I got to my desk. Road rage was a Swan gift, or curse, I guess you could call it, and everyone in my family suffered from it. Emmett had actually gotten himself in trouble during college for tailgating an undercover cop. Thankfully, Charlie still had friends from his time at the academy in the Seattle PD.

"Come on!" I shouted as I pounded on my steering wheel as a sleek looking red Porsche cut me off on my way into the underground parking garage.

It always amazed me when assholes who had money thought that they owned the road. That was exactly why I had refused to let Edward buy me anything considered a 'luxury' car. It was enough that he still had an Aston Martin in storage that we rarely ever drove.

I never wanted to be one of those pretentious rich people who flaunted their money for attention. It took me long enough to convince Edward to stop trying to buy me over the top gifts. We had come to an agreement with our friends that they could either do presents or a party each year, but not both. Thankfully, this year, they opted for presents, but I was still not looking forward to my birthday next week. Alice and Edward always went all out regardless, and trying to tell Esme that she wasn't allowed to buy me an extravagant present was like telling her that she had a bad sense of color. It just wasn't done.

When I finally found an open parking space in the garage, as far away from the pretentious red convertible as possible, I gathered up my briefcase and headed towards the elevator.

Being my clumsy self, I nearly ran into a pillar when I was trying to smooth out the wrinkles in my skirt, but luckily I caught myself before I made impact and made a total fool of myself.

"Wait!" I yelled as I approached the elevator at the center of the parking structure.

The doors had started to slide close, but a large foot and tanned hand grabbed the door before it could close and it sprung back open revealing one of my favorite people.

"Jacob!" I said smiling.

He was looking a little worse for wear. His hair was disheveled and it looked like he hadn't shaved. This was surprising, because Jacob was normally a very clean cut and put together guy, I wondered what had him so upset. His tie wasn't even tightened and his cuffs were unbuttoned, although he still looked amazing in his pinstriped tailored suit. Maybe he had a rough night.

"Are you ok?" I said as I stepped into the elevator and pushed the button for the twentieth floor.

"Uh, oh, yeah I guess," he mumbled, leaning back against the wall with a forlorn look on his face.

Alice had said that he had taken the whole cancelling of their arrangement well, but looking at him now, he was a mess. I didn't want to assume that it had anything to do with Alice, but man, this guy looked like he was wallowing in pain.

"Are you sure Jake? I mean, you know you can talk to me right?"

He pursed his lips and shook his head, sighing loudly as he closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall. After a few minutes of silence, he spoke again, but his voice was thick with emotion.

"I'm just having a difficult time right now; I really don't want to bother you with it. I'm not even sure you can help me with it."

I sighed and reached my hand out to stroke his arm. This person in the elevator was only a shell of the man I knew, and I had never seen him so forlorn, it was really heartbreaking.

"What are you doing this afternoon…..for lunch?"

His eyes snapped open, and he smiled a coy little smile perking up one eyebrow, but it didn't reach his eyes. He was obviously intrigued by my question.

"Well I was just going to work through lunch, but what did you have in mind Bells?"

I smiled at him and patted him on the shoulder; maybe I could break him out of his funk by spending some time with him. He obviously needed a friend.

"Meet me in the main lobby at eleven thirty, I'm taking you to lunch, and I am not taking no for an answer," I said at the doors opened at my floor.

I stepped out and turned around.

"And don't even think about standing me up Jacob Black. I know where to find you," I said with a wink as the doors closed.

He smiled a semi-genuine smile as the doors crept closed and I hoped that I could cheer him up. God knows he got me out of more school induced depressions than I can count during the first few years of undergrad.

The morning was slow. The new issue was being assembled, only waiting on the articles to be placed about Spring Fashion Week, so I didn't have a whole lot to work on. My article was already set, so I didn't need to worry about any last minute edits.

When I got to my desk, there was a note from Suzanna wishing me luck at my doctor's appointment and telling me that she was going to be out of the office for the rest of the week because she was flying to New York.

The three hours until lunch dragged by at a snail's pace and I wasted most of my time reading things on the internet. I had tried to get some writing done, but my brain obviously was not capable of doing higher order things like using my full vocabulary when I was sick. Most of it came out sounding like a tenth grader typed it. So much for the ten grand I used to put myself through grad school, it was _obviously_ paying off for itself in my inability to form a coherent sentence.

At a quarter past eleven, I packed up my things, and closed down my computer before I headed to the elevator bank to go down to the main lobby. I knew I was probably going to be down there early, but I really didn't have anything else to do, so waiting in the lobby for ten minutes was no big deal.

Just as I was stepping onto the elevator, and arm shot out beside me and held the door open as I walked into the car. When I turned around, I cursed my luck, because I was now stuck in an elevator with James, the biggest douche bag known to man, and he was smiling at me. So much for my luck with him running away from me.

"Hey Bella," he said in his oh so creepy tone.

"Um, hi James," I responded, hoping to god he didn't try to talk to me any further.

"So, you know, that little get together you guys were having at the bar a few weeks ago was fun."

"Oh, um yeah, so Tanya huh?" I said, wondering if he would deny it.

"Who is Tan…..oh, is she that blonde chick who I was doing shots with?"

I knew he was trying to play dumb, James was the just type to log his conquests just so he could track his numbers, he really was that much of an egotistical pig.

"Um, yeah, she works with Edward at the hospital."

"_She's_ a doctor? Hm…" he said with an amused look on his face. Obviously, their little 'hook-up' didn't involve talking, and he seemed to be pleased with himself that he got into the pants of a doctor.

Before we could continue our awkward conversation further, the doors of the elevator slid open and several more people hopped on. I situated myself in the back corner of the elevator, and tried not to make eye contact with him any more than was necessary.

When we got to the lobby, it was eleven twenty-five, and low and behold, Jacob was sitting in a lounge chair, with a grin plastered on his face, looking distinctly more chipper than he had in the elevator this morning.

Hopefully, he was actually feeling better, and not just putting on a brave face for me, because I knew for a fact that part of his support system had been ripped out from under him. I knew that he could survive without Alice the lover, but from what she had told me, I wasn't so sure he could survive without Alice the friend.

"Heya," I said as I walked towards him and held my hand out for him to get up.

He just chuckled and said, "Seriously Bells? Like your scrawny ass could help me up, puulease……"

There's my Jacob, smartassed and sassy, maybe he would be alright after all. Or maybe he was retracting into his armor like he had with me when I started dating Edward in college. Either way, I was going to be a friend to him whether he wanted it or not.

"So, where would you like to go for lunch? Your choice," I said as he pushed himself up from the chair and placed his hand on the small of my back.

"Well, there is this place I have been wanting to try, Andaluca, but its on the other side of the city, you up for it?"

"Sure, I just have to be at a doctor's appointment at one fifteen."

He shot me an inquisitive look and shrugged his shoulders. "Where at?"

"Virginia Mason, at the Women's Clinic," I said, just to see what his reaction would be. Most men would cringe at the mention of a 'Women's Clinic' but Jacob just gave me a soft knowing look and nodded his head.

"You alright Bells, do I need to be worried?"

"I'm fine, I just haven't been feeling well, Edward wants me to go, so I am going," I said nudging him in the side as we made our way towards the stairwell that led to the parking garage.

"Well, I just got this new car; you want me to drop you off? The restaurant isn't far from the hospital."

"But then how would I get back to my car?'

"I need to run some errands, I can come pick you up and bring you back here when you are done, I am in the mood for an afternoon off. The issue is already being sent to the printers, so I don't have a whole lot to keep me busy anyways."

As we entered the parking garage, he led me towards a corner, where there was the ostentatious convertible from this morning parked just behind a pillar. He pulled his keys from his pocket and hit the unlock button, and the headlights of the thing blinked as a shrill chirping noise echoed off of all the concrete.

"You," I said turning towards him and poking my finger into his chest with venom in my voice.

He looked stunned so I pressed my finger further into his chest and continued.

"You are the prick who cut me off on the way into the garage this morning. I am disappointed in you Black, seriously."

He just laughed at me as we walked up to his flashy car and held the door open for me.

"Shut it Bella, you know you like it," he said with a wink.

I tried to look irritated, but seeing Jacob being playful set me off as I stifled a giggle. I pushed him on the shoulder and climbed into the car, reveling in the smoothness of the leather, as he ran around to the other side and started her up.

"Here, let me put the top up, I don't want you chewing me out for messing up your hair."

I laughed again and the hum of the top coming up drowned out Jacob's chuckle as he reached up to lock it into place once it was fully up.

The ride to the restaurant was enjoyable, and we chatted about aimless topics and work, all the while skirting around the issue of why he had been so downtrodden this morning. Sometimes Jake could be as hormonal as a girl, so I just let it go, figuring I could grill him once he was in a public place with some food in his hand, where he wouldn't protest.

When we pulled up to the restaurant, I was happy that I was in full work attire, because this didn't just look like a casual lunch restaurant, but hey, who was I to argue when I had my own personal chauffer.

Once we were seated, a waitress came over immediately to get our drink order, and I was surprised when Jacob ordered a scotch. It was still pretty early in the day for the hard stuff, but I just made fun of him and ordered my water.

I decided to go with the soup of the day and a pear salad, whereas Jacob ordered the lamb burger. How anyone could order a seventeen dollar lunch sandwich was beyond me, but so was the life of a twenty something yuppie with no real responsibilities besides work. Considering his brand new Porsche, I figured he was not short on money in the least bit.

"So…." I started when our food was finally at the table, and Jake was starting to look a little more relaxed.

"It's about a woman," he said with a sigh before I even got the question out. "And no, I won't tell you who she is."

I nodded and was happy for his frankness, I wasn't really in the mood to try to pry the information out of him, but I still wanted to be a good friend to him. He deserved having someone to support him.

"What happened?" I said as I took a bite of my salad and let out an involuntary moan.

He took a deep breath and leaned back against the plush leather of the booth, and gave me a pained look before he began.

"Well, we had an agreement, it started as two friends just enjoying each other's _company_," he said with a wink, and I understood what he meant, because I had obviously been filled in on all the sordid details from Alice.

"I really don't know what happened, but somewhere along the way, I couldn't stop thinking about her. Like all the time, she was just in my thoughts. I knew I wasn't in love with her, at least not yet, but something serious was definitely there."

He sighed loudly, and wrung his napkin in his hands as he tried to find the words to tell me the rest, and I could tell that this was still really affecting him, even over a week later.

"So I told her I wanted to try, you know, to be a couple. It didn't even take her a day to turn me down. I mean, part of me was relieved, because that meant that I didn't have to be confused anymore, but I really miss her."

I reached across the table and grabbed his hand, giving him a sympathetic smile and a gentle squeeze.

"I mean I know I didn't love her like I probably should have if I wanted a real relationship, but now I don't know how to get back to being friends. I don't want her to just retreat back into her life and cut me out, I can't lose her Bella, I just can't," he said with a husky tone to his voice, saying the last part in a rushed whisper.

"Hey," I said softly, squeezing his hand to get his attention. "Just talk to her, tell her how you feel, I'm sure she is probably scared about the same thing. If you want to be her friend, than tell her that, promise her that you will be there however she wants you in her life."

He sighed and his shoulders seemed tense as he flexed his jaw, but I rubbed my thumb over the top of his hand and he seemed to relax.

I wished that I could just come out and tell him that I knew, and that Alice was just as confused as he was, but somehow, I don't think he would have shared that with me if he suspected that I did. At least I could give him some insight and hope that he took my advice.

"Maybe you are right, I'll think about it."

"I know I am, and hey, you know I am here if you want to talk about it. Just because I am a boring old married lady doesn't mean that I can't give you good advice."

He laughed and smiled at me, pulling his hand out from under mine and grabbing his burger and taking an enormous bite as he hummed in satisfaction.

"You aren't old, but you have always been a little on the repressed side Bells," he said with a wink.

"Bite me," I said with fake enthusiasm as I began to eat my soup.

"No thanks," he said nonchalantly, and we fell into a relaxed conversation about his plans for the fall, and his new job responsibilities due to the fact that his boss was going on maternity leave. He was hoping that she wouldn't come back, because he was next in line for the job. I just hoped that when I had kids someday, I could still try to remain in the workforce at least part time, because I was sure it would help me stay grounded.

By one o'clock, we had finished our meal, and although I protested, Jacob insisted on paying because he hadn't gotten me a birthday present yet. I laughed and let him, because that meant that I had one less present to worry about.

When we got to the hospital, my nerves had returned, and I really did not want to go to my appointment. If something really was wrong with me, avoidance seemed like a better alternative to knowing, but Jacob assured me that I would be fine.

"Call me when you are done, I'll meet you back here," he said as he pulled up to the curb outside of the clinic entrance. It was on the hospital grounds, but in an adjacent building.

"Alright, I'll see you in probably an hour, two tops, I'll call if I am going to be longer than that. Thanks again for dropping me off."

"No prob, it's the least I could do for going all chick on you."

I laughed and waved at him as he pulled away, revving his engine as he pulled out of the parking lot.

Once I made my way into the building, I checked in with the main receptionist and she sent me up to the floor that my doctor had his office in, and I took deep calming breaths in the elevator on the way up.

After filling out the new HIPPA forms, I settled into the waiting area, surrounded by women in all walks of life. There were several pregnant women, and I couldn't help but be in awe of how calm they all seemed to be. It was funny to watch them, because they all seemed to have their hands attached to their stomachs in some way or another.

When my name was called, I was taken into the standard pre-exam area where they weighed me, made me collect a urine sample, and then handed me a gown and directed me towards an exam room to wait for my doctor.

The nurse told me to wait to change until the doctor checked in, and I sat down on the exam table and with my gown in my lap and tried not to rip the paper as I fidgeted around.

Five minutes later, Dr. Rucker came in, and smiled widely, yet he still reminded me of my creep grandfather.

"So, Mrs. Cullen, what brings you in here this afternoon?"

"Well, I have just been feeling a little under the weather lately. I've been running a slight fever off and on, and I have suffered from nausea and vomiting. I have also been really run down. Edward was worried, so he wanted me to come see you."

"Ok, well, from the sounds of it, it could be the flu, or something more serious like mono, let me get a blood sample for you and I can have the lab put a rush on it. We wouldn't want to have a doctor's wife have to wait," he said patting my knee.

"Ok, whatever you think is best." I took several deep breaths, I hated needles, but if this got me one step closer to finding out what was wrong with me, then so be it.

"I'll send the nurse in to collect the sample, and you can go back out and have a seat in reception, it should only take about a half hour," he said before he exited the room.

One extremely painful needle prick later, I was sitting in the waiting area, reading a _Highlights_ magazine, and hoping that something was not seriously wrong with me. Blood tests always made me nervous. It could be any number of things, and knowing that made me seriously paranoid.

The last thing I needed was to be seriously ill at this point in my life. I had finally just gotten use to my life, settled into a job, and gotten my husband to act normal again, I didn't want to add serious illnesses into the mix.

"Mrs. Cullen," the nurse said as she came to retrieve me from the waiting area after exactly thirty minutes.

I followed her back into the room and she handed me my gown, telling me to put it on because the doctor needed me in it to perform his exam. That meant that the blood test obviously showed up with something, but god knows the possibilities that entailed.

Dressing quickly, I hopped back onto the crinkly white paper covered bench and nervously swung my legs while I waited for my inevitable fate.

"Mrs. Cullen," Dr. Rucker called through the door as he tapped on the door lightly, indicating he was coming in.

"Ok doc, hit me with it. Am I dying?" I deadpanned as he walked in the door with a curious smile on his face.

I wasn't exactly sure how to take that, but before I could make anymore smartass comments, he began talking.

"Well, your cells counts are all normal, but we did find out something from the test," he said calmly, and I braced myself for the news, my heart thumping in my chest.

"How many rooms do you have in your new house Bella?" he said as if it was a normal question to be asking during a medical examination.

"Well technically five, but I don't get what that has to do with anything Dr. Rucker."

I furrowed my brow as he chuckled and then he said something that made me want to run to the bathroom with my hand over my mouth. I nearly did, but decided hyperventilating was a better option.

"Well, I hope that you have space in one of those for a nursery, because Bella," he said with an unnecessary dramatic pause. "You are going to need one, you are pregnant."

I felt like a brick had been dropped on my head. He kept talking after that, but I couldn't even focus on the words he was saying. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't speak, I was just thoroughly in shock and felt like I was going to pass out. How in the……well I knew how, but oh my god, I was going to be a mother.

My breaths were coming out in gasps as I clung to the edge of the padded exam table, my knuckles turning completely white. I was sure that I was having a panic attack, but I really didn't care. _This_ was not happening, this could not be happening, I could not be pregnant, I was going to be in so much trouble.

Oh god, Edward was going to be pissed, and Esme was going to have a field day with this. Alice and Rosalie would make fun of me, and how was I ever going to be able to take my promotion if I had to take care of a screaming infant.

I was going to be a mother.

I was going to have a child.

I was going to pass out if I couldn't get myself under control.

"Bella, Bella," Dr. Rucker said shaking my shoulder lightly. "Are you alright? You are a little pale."

"Huh?" I asked in a bewildered tone of voice.

"Here, lay back, I will go get the nurse and we can start your exam. Would you like me to page Dr. Cullen for the ultrasound?"

I hesitated for a moment, debating on whether or not I wanted him to get paged in the middle of the day by some random nurse telling him to come to his wife's doctor's office and sit in on her ultrasound. There was no way I could do that to him, I would tell him alone, at home, where I could control the situation.

"No! I mean, no; that is not necessary, I don't want to disturb him at work," I said with as much conviction as possible.

I stared at the white ceiling tiles as I waited for him to return with the nurse, trying to let the words he had told me sink in. The whole situation still seemed somewhat surreal, and I couldn't believe that I had not known that this was going on. I mean Rosalie had joked about it, but I didn't really think it was an issue. Apparently, my birth control pills decided to rebel and had other plans for me. _Stupid pharmaceutical companies._

Dr. Rucker returned after a few minutes with a rather petite nurse with short dark hair named Heather. She seemed pretty nice, but I was not in the mood for pleasantries, I was still very much in shock about this whole situation.

"Alright Bella, now I am going to do a pelvic exam first, and then I am going to use the portable ultrasound to make sure that the fetus is implanted in the correct place."

I nodded my head and laid back against the examination table, carefully placing my feet in the metal stirrups at the end of it. I always hated this part of going to the gynecologist, especially that little torture device they used to pry you open with.

After he performed the exam, he instructed me to sit back as Heather lifted the head of the examination table up slightly so I could rest against it comfortably.

"Now this machine will show us the placement of the fetus, so we can rule out an ectopic pregnancy. We may be able to hear a heartbeat, but from what your chart said it still may be too early. The Doppler on this machine is also not as strong as the one on the full ultrasound, so it may not be able to pick it up. Either way, once we confirm that you are carrying a viable fetus, we can schedule an appointment for you in a few weeks to get a full ultrasound performed."

Wow, this was really happening, one minute I'm bored out of my mind cleaning bathrooms all day, and now that I am actually enjoying my life, I had to go and get myself pregnant. Leave it to me to be the in the three percent.

"Now this is going to be cold," he instructed as he pulled up the bottom hem of the gown to expose my abdomen and squirted a small amount of gel onto it.

_Damn! _He was right, it was freaking cold.

He slowly brought the wand that was attached to the small portable ultrasound machine down to my stomach and spread it around before pushing more firmly on the area right above my underwear. I flinched slightly when he applied more pressure, and then I saw an image start to flicker on the screen beside us.

"Well, it looks as though it has firmly implanted itself in your uterine wall," he said as he slowly moved it over another inch or so.

"Fairly normal size, no heartbeat yet, but as I said, at five and a half weeks, that is perfectly normal."

"Wait? Five and a half weeks?" I inquired, not realizing that I had been pregnant for over a month, god I really am oblivious.

"That date is based upon the first day of this menstrual cycle, it has realistically only been about 16 days since fertilization, maybe more or less, depending on when you ovulated."

God it was like he was speaking in tongues, I mean, I had seen the cheesy ovulation test commercials on television, but I never actually knew what they were for. I mean, I really didn't pay that close attention in health class when they got into details, I thought it was fairly disgusting and chose to doodle in my notebook instead.

"Ok, I have a question, it may seem stupid, but I want to know. Is it normal to get pregnant when you are on the pill? I mean, Edward and I have always used dual protection, but recently we have only been relying on the pill, and less than a month later, I get pregnant."

He smiled at me and pressed a few buttons on the machine before he answered me.

"Well, typically, oral contraception is very accurate in pregnancy prevention, but it is not uncommon to become pregnant when you are on it, sometimes, the circumstances just align and fertilization takes place anyways. Statistically speaking, even though it is best case advertised as being 99 percent effective, you realistically have about a three to five percent chance of oral contraception failure during intercourse. Either way, I advise you to immediately stop taking your birth control pills because the hormones will affect the development of the fetus."

Leave it to me to get pregnant by accident during the only three week span of time we don't use condoms. Edward is going to freak, oh god, this is all my fault.

"Now, here, look," Dr. Rucker said, pointing to the monitor while he held the wand in place. "Right there, the small peanut shaped white area; that is your baby."

This has to be the most bizarre experience in my entire life, there it is, right in front of me, a tiny little being growing inside of me and before now, I wasn't even aware of it.

"Wow," was all I could whisper as I looked up to the screen. I couldn't really process anything else. I mean I knew that it was not the right time, and that it would probably really hard, but somehow, seeing it there, I didn't care anymore.

That, right there, that tiny little peanut, was my baby.

"Well, I can print off a few pictures for you to take home with you, and then I expect to see you back here in three or four weeks for a follow-up exam. Feel free to bring Edward with you then, I can make sure that we schedule an ultrasound then as well."

"Alright," was all I said as he turned and took Heather with him to let me get dressed. I really couldn't process anything at the moment, it was still too weird, too surreal, too, ugh, I don't know, just too much. _ WAY TOO MUCH……._

In my zombie-like state, I got dressed, went and made my next appointment, and made my way down to the lobby, where I called Jacob to come and pick me up. It was just after three p.m., so I had approximately three hours before all shit hit the fan, and I was going to attempt to act as normal as possible until then.

Ten minutes later, Jacob and his pretentious candy apple red Porsche pulled up in front of the clinic, and I calmly walked out to join him. He was still wearing the 'I'm pretending to be extremely happy' grin on his face, and I was sure that I was probably wearing an identical one.

"So, what's the verdict Bells?" he said as I slipped into the seat and buckled myself in.

I groaned and laid my head back on the headrest and mumbled, "Well, I'm not dying…….yet."

"Um ok, Mrs. Cryptic, that's um, good then, right?"

"I guess, please just take me to my car, I need to get home," I said in a fake cheerful voice.

"Bells, what's wrong?" he said, pulling into a parking space instead of out onto the road like he was supposed to.

"Nothing, I can't talk about it, really, I'm ok," I said patting him on the hand.

He huffed and started the car again, pulling out into traffic and heading back towards our office building.

When we got there, spending the entire ride in a contemplative silence, he pulled into the space beside my car and cut the engine, turning towards me and taking my hand.

"Ok Bella, I don't know what happened at that appointment, and to be honest, if you don't want me to know, then I don't care……but, I am your friend, and if you need me, then use me, because you have always been there when I really needed you."

I sighed and leaned my head back against the headrest, trying to fight off the tears as I took several deep breaths.

"I will tell you when I can, but right now, there is someone else I have to tell first. I promise that there is nothing seriously wrong with me, and thank you for always being there, I really do appreciate it."

He pulled me into a half hug, smoothing down my hair and kissing me on the forehead. Somehow, even though we harassed each other constantly, we still had a loving friendship.

"Ok Bells, get your ass home, I don't want your hubby thinking I stole you away," he said reaching over to open my door and nudging me towards it.

"Thank you," I said sincerely as he pulled away and I trudged over to my car.

On my way home, I stopped at the pharmacy and picked up my prenatal vitamins, and grabbed a digital pregnancy test, just to make sure. I was fairly certain that I was clearly in denial, since I had seen the baby and all, but I was sure that if I held the actual test in my hand, that it would seem more real.

When I got home, I swallowed my first pill, and headed upstairs to relieve myself, and to make sure that modern medicine wasn't full of crap.

Low and behold, guess what, I am knocked up, and the little smiley face just proved it.

Knowing that my husband, who was not in any way, shape, or form ready for kids, would be pissed if he found out that I was pregnant by seeing the traitorous little smiley sticking out of the trash can; I wrapped it up, took the box and instructions, wrapped them up in a newspaper and hid them in the kitchen trashcan.

At precisely six o'clock, the garage door opened, and I sat nervously waiting at the kitchen island, trying to get up the nerve to tell him.

When he came inside, he was wearing the most beautiful grin on his face, and I knew that I couldn't ruin his perfect mood yet.

"Hey," I said as he came up and kissed me on the cheek.

"Hello beautiful," he said as he grabbed my hand and tugged me towards the stairs. "How did your appointment go?"

"It was alright, I'm healthy, he gave me some vitamins," I said as we walked into the bedroom.

"Ok, well, how about I take a shower and then take you out to dinner," he said pulling his shirt up over his head before kicking off his shoes and pulling the drawstring on his scrubs.

"Sounds good, I actually, um, need to talk to you about something when you are done."

"Ok Bella, I'll be quick," he said sneaking a kiss before he walked off to the bathroom naked.

I sighed and sunk back against the mattress of the bed, rubbing my hands over my eyes, trying to figure out how to word this. Should I just come out and say, "Hey, by the way, I have a picture of your child, here take a look", or would something like, "Um, you know how I assured you the pill would be fine, well, I guess I was wrong, surprise!" work a little better.

Ugh, this was going to suck, really, really bad.

After Edward had dressed himself, and transferred his pager to his jeans, we were headed down to the living room to catch the sports highlights before we went to dinner. The more and more I contemplated it, while leaning into Edward's side, the more and more I really did not want to do this in a public place. I mean, I know that they say you should break difficult news in a public place, but yeah, telling your hubby he knocked you up over dinner, not good.

"Edward?" I said leaning away from him slightly, so I could see his face.

"Yes, Bella," he said bringing his leg up on the couch so he could turn to face me.

"There is something I need to talk to you about."

"Ok, love, what would you like to say?"

"Well, when I was at the doctor today, he gave me some, um, news, and I need to tell you something," I said biting my lip and trying desperately not to blush.

"Is everything alright Bella?" he said taking my hands and looking at me with concern.

"Yes, I'm fine, nothing is seriously wrong, I just well, I don't really know how to say this Edward," I said taking a huge breath. "Edward, I'm, well we're……"

_BEEP, BEEP, BEEP_

"Oh shit Bella, hey, I need to take this page, I have a very important patient in post op, let me call the hospital and see if they need me," he said pulling his phone out of his pocket.

I groaned internally and slammed my head against the back of the couch, trying to get up the nerve to finish my sentence when he got off the phone.

"Hey," he said stroking my cheek as he closed his phone and stashed it back in his pocket. "I hate to do this love, but I have to go in, they need to go back in, and Carlisle wants me to assist. I don't know how long they need me, but I will call if I'm not coming back home tonight."

"Oh," I said sighing and leaning up to kiss him goodbye. "Well, be safe, I'll see you later I guess, I love you."

"Love you too Bella," he said as he hopped off the couch and went into the laundry room to grab some clean scrubs.

"Bye baby," he called as he closed the garage door.

I collapsed back into the cushions, pulling a throw pillow over my mouth and screaming into it as I pounded my fist on the side of the couch.

After my impromptu screaming fit, I went into the kitchen and pulled my phone out of my purse, turning it back on, and made a detour to the freezer and grabbed a pint of peanut butter cup ice cream. It's not like it mattered what I ate anymore, in a few short months, I was going to be a whale.

"Argh!" I exclaimed as I thumbed through my emails and missed text messages.

I guess I hadn't checked it since yesterday, I already had several missed texts from Alice.

I clicked on the oldest one and my eyes bugged out as I took in the image. I never pegged Alice as the type to be a voyeur, but hey, apparently sending a text of a woman giving a guy a blowjob was not out of bounds.

As I read the text, I didn't know whether to laugh, or get really pissed off…..

_Meet Maria!!_

OMFG! What a totally hussy, I can't believe that she would do that to Jasper, what a total fucking bitch. Well, I had to give it to Alice, at least she knew how to keep my mind off things.

Leaning back and tucking my legs up under me, I grabbed my ice cream and dug in as I dialed the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Alice, it's me, so…..what the hell was up with that text?" I said as I laughed around my bite of peanut butter heaven.

"Oh my god, you will never believe what I found out," she said animatedly.

And just like that, I had a distraction to keep me focused on something other than the baby I was currently incubating.

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**A/N: Hope you all liked it, I know that alot of you had speculated about her medical status, and I hope we didn't disappoint, but all may not be as it seems, so stay tuned, I promise that this will not be the typical chiched pregnancy storyline.....not by a long shot....**

**Don't forget to tell us what you think! We love getting your reviews more than we like writing lemons.....well, that may not be completely true, but still.....reviews are awesome!**


	17. I Kissed A Girl and I Liked It!

**Disclaimer: **_**All Things Twilight belong to the amazing Stephenie Meyer . . . All the other copyrighted names belong to the creative genius' that copyrighted them, and we, well, we own a little world called Couture where our minds go to play . . .**_

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I Kissed a Girl and I Liked it!**

**APOV**

"Hello?" I said as I answered my buzzing Blackberry.

"Hey, Alice, it's me, so . . . what the hell was up with that text?" Bella said as her garbled laugh echoed into my phone.

"Oh my god, you will never believe what I found out," I said animatedly, taking a deep breath.

I muted the television and got myself comfortable. This was definitely going to take a while, I had to replay my living hell from last night to get to the point, but I knew Bella's input would be invaluable.

"I think I should probably start from the beginning," I said, thinking it through thoroughly before finding the best place to begin. "Well, as you're well aware, I've heard nothing from Jasper all this week . . ."

Bella laughed down the phone reiterating the last statement. I had been bugging her almost twice a day for the last four days. Today I had refused to go out with Shannon again, because I needed time and space to think. I hadn't heard from Bella all day so her calling this evening was perfect.

"And this has to do with Maria being caught giving fellatio to a scruffy looking tattooed man in what looks like a bathroom how? He obviously is not Jasper, so what the hell is going on?"

"Okay, so Shannon and I have been going out most of this week, and before you ask, yes I have been drowning my sorrows, but that's besides the point." I said hoping to avoid the conversation diverting to another topic so soon. I looked down at my wrist and the ugly black marks stared back up at me. I would probably be better off leaving that part of the conversation out too, but it seemed to segue into the story that needed to be told.

"Shannon wanted to go to the club where most of the Hollywood royalty showed up, there was a rumor that Rob Pattinson was going to be there, and she insisted. You know I hate clubs but the girl was so excited, and had been entertaining me for most of the week so I figured I owed it to her."

"So did you see him?" Bella asked with curiosity in her tone.

"See who?" I asked, confused as to which person she was referring to. Like there was that many in my life!

"Robert Pattinson, duh, did you see him? Because if you did, I am going to be so jealous, he is totally my freebie."

"Um, yeah he was there, Shannon danced with him for a while after the incident; what the hell is a freebie?" I asked, completely confused, and happily diverted for a second.

Robert Pattinson was even more gorgeous in person than he was on the screen, and he was charismatic too. Everyone at our table was so deeply involved with the stories he was telling; I almost forgot to ogle him, although, I did get some of that in too.

"Oh, I forget all the time that you are not familiar with the behaviors of the heavily committed. A freebie, my friend, is the one person who you are allowed to have relations with and have the permission from your spouse. Robert Pattinson, in all his lanky glory, is my newest freebie . . . Edward has a thing for Kate Beckinsale . . . although . . . she is kinda hot," Bella laughed into the phone.

"Freaks," I laughed playfully, playing with the throw I had wrapped around me, I was sat on the couch in my hotel room watching some crummy movie on the television. It was muted at the moment. "So anyway, we got into the club and Shannon decided to try her hand at getting past the bouncer and into the VIP room. She disappeared and I got drunk alone, in her defense she was dancing with a hot guy, but while I waited, some creep tried to drag me out of there . . . I have the bruises to prove it."

There really was no use in trying to hide it from her, I was flying home on Saturday, and there was no way I could conceal them, they were deep shades of black and purple, and would have barely faded by the time I saw her. I didn't really want to have my ass chewed out for keeping it from her either, so I stayed honest.

"Oh my god Al, are you alright? Did you get away from him? Please tell me nothing happened, you are freaking me out here, and that is not a good thing for a pre . . ." she trailed off suddenly.

"Bella, calm down, please I'm fine." I had no idea why she'd veered off so suddenly, but I could hear the panic in her voice. I would ask her about that later. "Seriously, I am fine, just a bruise and a little aching I'm fine, I promise. Anyway, you're not going to believe who got me out of that mess."

"Oh thank god," she said letting out a huge breath. "So, did sir Pattinson rescue you?"

I couldn't help but laugh at the little dreamy tone to her voice, she sounded ready to swoon. "No, but little Seth Clearwater did,"

"What?!?" she practically screamed into the phone. "Oh my god Al, I haven't seen him since our graduation. So, how did he look? What is he up to? Wait . . . why is he in New York?"

"Do you remember the band he joined in Portland?" I didn't wait for an answer and continued, "You know, the Hounds of the Apocalypse? Well their second album just went platinum and they were celebrating. After Seth saved me from Willard, he invited me back there to catch up. Do you know what the first thing that ran through my mind when I saw him was?" I laughed teasing her, I knew she was already savvy to the direction I was taking, but I couldn't help myself.

"Oh wow, good for him . . . ok Al, what were you thinking?" she said, her voice laced with false contempt.

"That beautiful kiss the two of you shared up against the bleachers," I laughed, my forehead came crashing down on my knees as my giggles took control, "You remember the one, the cop a feel, tongue assault."

She was probably rolling her eyes and cursing me under her breath, but I couldn't help myself, only Bella could make me laugh like this after the week I'd had. Still, I finished off my errant thought.

"Seriously though, I think you would be the one copping a feel these days, the boy is ripped. He doesn't have a six-pack he has a twelve pack. He's tall and handsome too, can't forget the famous either." I laughed, "Shannon almost peed herself when she found out she was meeting them."

"Well, I guess I will look at my first kiss a little differently now . . ." she trailed off. "But hey, ok, this whole thing started with your X-rated text. Where does Seth come to play in this, because I know you said he changed, but that was not Seth getting blown in the bathroom."

"No, but it was his drummer," I said sighing. "Anyway, Seth invited Shannon and I to the VIP room to catch up and I agreed. We went back there and talked for a while, I went to the restroom back there and heard noises coming from inside, you know me; I am no perv, but I was curious, so I peeked my head around the door. Bella, I swear to god I was so angry when I saw her, it didn't even occur to me that I was looking at some guy's penis, all I saw was her, and I was mad. I realized I had my phone on me and snapped a couple of pictures and backed out super quiet so she wouldn't know I was there." I paused for a breath, remembering the boiling anger coursing through my veins. "I snapped though, I wanted her to know I had seen her. I put my phone in my purse and literally fell into the room with as much noise as I could."

"Oh my god! What did she do? Are you going to tell Jasper? Is she? What a skank! Oh, just wait until Rosalie hears about this . . ." Bella ranted, and I could tell that she was just as angry as I was.

"Bella, the girl has no shame, she looked at me as though she was shocked, but when I turned and walked away, she got angry and called me back, she told me whatever I was thinking her emotions were, I was wrong and she was doing nothing wrong because she had ended the relationship with Jasper on Tuesday, she said, and I quote 'I dumped his boring ass on Tuesday'," _stupid bitch_.

"The thing is Bella, she didn't care, not one little bit, and it's sickening. Anyway, I called her disgusting and walked away, I guess she turned around and kept going, because she showed back up at the table with Derek later. Her eyes almost fell out of her head when she saw me cuddled into Seth, he was comforting me bless him. He hasn't changed a bit Bella, still the sweet little brother we always saw him as, fame hasn't changed him a bit."

"Aw, I'm glad that you got to reconnect with Seth . . . but on to much, much more important issues Alice. Have you heard from him today?"

"No," I sighed in frustration. "I really thought I might, I hate to think of him all alone hurting. He's my friend Bella, and yes I may harbor some unrequited feelings, but he's my friend and I can't stand thinking of him alone and wallowing right now. I want to call him so bad, but I know I have to wait for him to come to me. Why is this so damn complicated?"

"Oh honey, I'm sorry, I know how hard this is for you. Maybe, give it one more day, and then try to call him before you leave town. He may be afraid to talk to you after the things she did to you in the past week. It will be all right. Do you want me to call Rosalie tomorrow and see if she has heard anything?" Bella said, yawning at the end.

"No, I just want to give him time, it's the only thing I have to offer him, which I seemingly have to offer you too yawny . . . Which reminds me, what did the doctor say?"

"Um, well, Alice, um . . . I well . . . I am . . . oh shit, I can't tell you . . . I'll talk to you about it when you get back, I promise nothing is wrong with me. I just can't tell you yet."

"Bella . . ." It took everything I had not to nag her into giving away her secret, but I knew better. Bella would tell me when she was ready, and not a minute before, nagging or no nagging, so I would let it go for now.

"Just promise me you'll call me the moment you can to tell me, whatever it is. I don't like the sound of your voice, you're panicking."

"I'm fine Alice, I'm . . . I guess I'm still . . . adjusting. I don't mean to be cryptic but I have to talk to Edward about it before I can tell anyone else. I wish I could talk to you about it, but I know if I do, that if Edward finds out I went to you first, well . . . I don't even want to know. I'm sorry," she said lightly sobbing into the phone.

"Hey, Bella, it's fine. Now you're just worrying me. Look, you sound exhausted and emotional. Whatever the cause, it sounds like you've had a long day. Do you want me to let you go and give you a call tomorrow?" I asked, I knew this Bella, and she was contemplative. "I'm not trying to get rid of you, I would talk to you all night if you wanted me to, but something tells me you're just ready for some time to think, or sleep."

"Sleep, I think I need sleep," she sighed, she sounded so distressed. "I'm sorry, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Thank you for not pushing me to tell you."

"Bella, I'm your best friend, I know you, I love you, and I know you'll tell me when you're ready to. Now go get some sleep and I will talk to you tomorrow." I hated that she sounded so torn up, but there was nothing I could do to ease her mind, because I didn't know what was bothering her.

"Night Ali, I love you."

"Love you too, Bella, now go get some sleep." I hung up the phone and placed it on the small table in front of me, I was so curious as to what had her down. I looked at the muted television and sighed, maybe I should go to sleep too, waiting for my phone to ring again was just counter productive. I had to accept the fact he wasn't going to call. I turned off the TV and headed to the bed, climbing underneath the feather down comforter. I closed my eyes, and hoped tomorrow would be better for all of us.

I woke up the next morning feeling relieved, I had finally gotten all of this off my chest, I had finally spoken to the one person that knew the whole sordid secret. I couldn't have been happier that I was going home tomorrow. Today was the last fashion show, and I was going to enjoy it. I couldn't sit around the room all day worrying about things out of my control.

I was sitting on the couch all ready when Shannon finally came in. She looked a little worse for wear after, what I guessed was a rough night, last night.

"Good morning, what did you do last night? You appear to be in hangover city."

"God, I feel like crap. I went out with the girls last night and we bumped into my ex," she grinned. "He knows me too well, fed me shots until I agreed to go home with him."

"Would it have taken much persuasion?" I laughed; we'd discussed her lack of sex life since the break up.

She grinned, "That's what I told him this morning."

I shook my head and stood up, heading towards the door. I held it open and raised my eyebrows at her.

"The show doesn't start for another hour, Alice. Where are we going?"

"I have a little headache remedy that might help you out."

"I am so there," she sighed.

The two of us made our way down to the lobby in silence, outside was a mass of bodies as the afternoon festivities began. The early afternoon light filtered down through the building and bounced off car windows making Shannon groan in obvious discomfort.

"What time did you get up?" I asked laughing; it was almost one o'clock in the afternoon.

"About an hour ago, why?"

I pulled her into a small restaurant I had eaten at while I was alone yesterday and waited for the hostess to seat us. Shannon sat silently with her head against the back of the booth and her sunglasses still perched on her nose.

"So, what's this magic cure?" she whispered, her own voice obviously too loud in her head.

"It's called a shot of tequila and greasy food."

Shannon's head snapped up and she groaned audibly, holding her hand to her forehead. I laughed at her, it was self-inflicted, and although the thought of alcohol was probably not what she wanted right now, it would make her feel better.

"Don't worry, its just one shot to take off the edge and then you have to re-hydrate yourself, I also have two Tylenol for you to take."

"But . . ."

"The tequila will take away that nastiness, the water and Tylenol will work it's magic after that wears off."

"The greasy food?"

"Takes away the nasty taste in your mouth and absorbs the alcohol." Not really, but she didn't need to know that.

"As long as it takes this pain away," she whined.

"I'm guessing you're not up for the mimosa's at DKNY this afternoon." I laughed.

Shannon groaned as the waitress appeared.

By the time lunch was over, Shannon was her usual bouncy self, yapping away as we made our way to our seats. We were sat in the second row, and could see the runway perfectly, there was a short older woman sitting in front of us, which meant my eye line wasn't blocked.

As the lights went down and the flashing lights and music started, I felt the usual thrill course through my body. Fashion was my passion, and even with everything that was going on in my life, it was the one constant.

The models strutted down the catwalk with a finesse and attitude, they were essentially clotheshorses, but they were paid to make the clothes look good, and more often than not they did their job well. I saw some favorites as they came out and promised myself a shopping trip to cheer myself up when I got home.

I was lost in the visual array of colors and neat lines of the clothes when I felt Shannon nudging me with her elbow. I looked at her, but her eyes were transfixed on the stage. I followed her gaze and almost spat the mouthful of mimosa I had just taken on the poor woman in front of me.

Maria was walking down the catwalk, tall and superior, the usual way she carried herself. I bit back the groan and watched as she strutted to the end of the catwalk and posed. Her eyes worked across the audience, she passed over me quickly, but came back just as quickly. I mouthed the word "Whore" at her and smirked.

She spun around hastily and walked a little faster back the way she had come. I would find a way to knock her off her pedestal, even if it took me a decade to do it.

I had a feeling that my ammunition would not remain a secret for long.

The next time she came out after that, she avoided me completely, turning in the opposite direction. I liked knowing that I affected her, that I bothered her enough that she would avoid me. My vindictive catty side was showing.

"What a whore," Shannon laughed next to me as Maria disappeared back down the catwalk with her signature strut.

"Karma's a bitch, she'll get what's coming to her."

"Alice, are you plotting her downfall?" Shannon asked in a conspiratorial tone. I think she would happily help me with this considering some of the less savory comments Maria had thrown at her on Wednesday night.

After they had come back to the table, Derek had lost interest and started talking to Shannon. Maria believed she was above all that and fed catty remarks about Shannon and her appearance. We had to excuse ourselves after my sarcasm made an appearance. I was making Seth a little uncomfortable.

I nodded at her once, and let myself smile. I may only ever see Jasper at functions held by Rosalie from now on, but I would give him, and Rosalie for that matter, vindication for all of the evil shit Maria pulled. Maria had made sure Jasper would miss his sister's wedding. I knew how much that had affected Rosalie, not that she would ever admit it, but still, I knew her well enough to see it.

"Will you let me know if there's anything I can do?"

"I will, but it may take a while, I need to dig a little bit." I answered honestly, I needed some more dirt on the girl and would have to call in a few favors to get it done. I still had to be careful, she was popular, and David had been right, she rocked the catwalk. I still wasn't going to let it drop though.

"I'm in." Shannon whispered, a small smile on her lips.

The rest of the shows went by with us glaring at Maria as she continued to ignore us, not that I really cared, I would be happy if she never crossed my path again. It was almost five o'clock when we had finished with the double show; Donna Karan had been showing both of her lines.

Shannon and I said goodbye in the lobby of the hotel, I was leaving tomorrow and she had to get back to her life and job with Shawn. We exchanged numbers and hugged before she left, and I promised that I would call her the next time I was in New York, even if it was only for an afternoon.

I made my way up to my room to pack. I was keeping my promise to myself and going for a drink in the Cellar Bar tonight, I wanted that to be my last memory of New York before I got on a plane at awful-am tomorrow.

I pulled out another dress I had been given by Shawn, and my new Manolo's. They had been on hiatus since their last outing because of what had happened. I also kept out some jeans and a sweater to wear on the plane tomorrow. I put them on top of the suitcase with my sleeping sweats; I picked up my toiletry bag and headed into the bathroom for a long shower.

After my shower, I ate something from room service in my room before I got dressed and did my make up. I was stalling; the bar was usually empty until around eight-thirty, nine, so I was in no hurry. I didn't have to be back at work until Monday either so I didn't care that it would be a semi late night with an early wake-up. Shawn had the shots messengered over for the exclusive, so I was all set to go.

Sitting alone in my room was giving me too much time to think, as always, so I chose to do my make-up as a distraction. The early night last night had given me a chance to catch up on my sleep and the dark rings under my eyes were diminishing. Still, I had to use the concealer. I tried to brush some on my wrist to hide the deep bruises, but they were too dark, it just took away the blackness leaving a faded purple mess. I should have brought jewelry.

It was eight-fifteen when I stood in front of the mirror fully dressed, I figured going down now wouldn't hurt, it would let me grab a seat for a while, as I slowly let myself get inebriated. I threw my room key, phone and wallet into a clutch before zipping up my suitcase and moving it off the bed. The extra weight of my new clothes made me yelp as it strained the muscles in my blackened wrist.

I took the elevator down and stood in a quiet corner as some of the other guests filled up the small carriage. I was never really uncomfortable being alone, so going to a bar solo really wasn't that big of a deal.

The bar wasn't empty but it wasn't thriving either, it was easy enough to get to the bar and get a drink, and I was able to find a table in a corner so I could sit and people watch as I enjoyed the atmosphere.

After an hour of milking the drink I had, and some light conversation with perfect strangers; I headed to the bar to get another drink. The night was in full swing and I knew I would lose my seat, but I felt mingling was probably better than sitting alone in a corner. The bar was a lot more crowded now, and I had to wait for service.

"Hi," The tall guy next to me smiled warmly, and I grinned back in return. "I've been standing here forever; wanna give it a shot and see if you can get the guys attention?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "Sure, but I doubt it'll help," I laughed.

He made a space for me and I slid up to the bar and leaned over it a little to see if I could attract the barman's attention, he looked up at me and smiled as he handed two glasses of wine to a woman three people down. He nodded once as he took her money and then handed her the change, almost immediately he began to head down towards me.

"What can I get you?" he yelled leaning over the bar and grinning again. I looked to the guy behind me and winked.

"Beer and whatever the lady wants."

"Glass of Merlot," I said smiling.

"See, I told you," The guy laughed, nudging my arm gently. "This guy always goes for the ladies."

I laughed and pulled my purse open.

"I got this one, thanks for your help," he yelled, handing the guy money.

"Thanks."

The guy moved away laughing and I picked up my wine glass, breathing the small amount of fresh air his departure afforded me; the bar was packed. As it had become habit, I pulled out my phone and checked to see if I had missed any calls, but as always, it was completely blank. The disappointment was lessening with every glance; I had finally accepted the fact he wasn't going to call.

I stepped away from the bar to find somewhere to sit; as I turned around I walked into a muscular wall that didn't move, at all. All of the air from my lungs whooshed out as I hit the solidity if it.

Strong arms wrapped around me as I stumbled backward. When I looked up my breath escaped me again, and I almost choked on the air I was dragging in. My heart pounded in my chest and throbbed in my ears.

Bright pools of blue connected with mine instantly holding me captive. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, but he was here, now, and he had his arms still wrapped around me.

"Jasper?"

His smile caught me off guard, almost as much as seeing him here. I couldn't believe how much my body betrayed me, everything inside of me felt electric and magnetized. It all revolved around him. Always him.

He looked tired but happy and my traitorous heart banged impulsively against my ribs, echoing in my ears. I had just convinced myself to start letting him go and here he was in front of me, pulling me hopelessly into him again.

I couldn't stop the elation in my heart, but my mind gave it some effort. He'd avoided me for this entire week, I should be hurt, angry, _something_; but I wasn't. No matter how I looked at it, joy was the only thing to fill me to my nerve endings, and it was destroying me, especially if he didn't want me.

Without a word, he took my hand and pulled me away from the bar, I could see where we were headed and I almost fought against him. I was now officially confused. Why would he want to take me into the dark quiet corner he was headed for?

_To talk__, you idiot!_

We were headed far enough away from the DJ and speakers that it would be easy to talk, but my heart was still pumping the blood around my body too quickly, making me dizzy. I was clutching onto my wine glass for dear life. I placed it on a table as we passed; I wanted to be clear headed for whatever was coming next.

Jasper pulled me around in front of him so my back was against the wall. He still hadn't said a word and it was making me anxious. I let myself look into the pools of blue again and found my heart reacting, as well as every other part of my body. His eyes were warm and sparkling, blue flames that ate away at my final resolve.

He smiled, his soft lips turning up at the corners as his perfect white teeth shone beyond the soft flesh. Damn him for being so perfect, and for making me fall in love with him all over again. I was a lost cause, hopeless, and he had to see that shining at him from behind my eyes.

We just stared at one another, I had no idea what was going on in his head, but I didn't care. I drank every inch of him in committing every perfect line and curve of his face to memory. If he was going to say goodbye I needed this; I needed to remember him this way.

There was something palpable about the silence between us, it was charged with electricity and danced around my flesh, taunting me and tantalizing every nerve in my body. My legs felt unusually heavy beneath me and I was suddenly afraid they would give out on me. He had to want me too . . . _he had to_. There was no way that this tangible emotion was one sided.

"Alice," He breathed my name; there was something about the way it came from him that made my heart flutter in my chest. I wanted him to speak, I did, but I didn't want this moment to end. I was happily drowning in it, submerged as it blanketed my senses.

His eyes were watching me, I knew I had to say something, but what, every part of my mind was absorbing this moment, speech was something I was incapable of at the moment.

His hand lifted from his side, he placed it against the wall beside my head and leaned in slowly, the fire in his eyes burning even brighter. My body exploded into tingles as his breath danced across my bare shoulder. He hadn't even touched me other than my hand and my abdomen knotted with my want for him.

"Alice," his voice was raw with emotion. "I wanted to call you so many times, but everything got the god damn way."

I whimpered. _I fucking whimpered!_

"I'm so sorry for leaving you hanging, but I had some things to take care of."

_What the fuck do I say to that?_ My desire was still the most prevalent emotion and I needed to get it in check before I replied. I swallowed compulsively, unsure of how to push back my emotion. I needed to hear what he had to say.

"I've dialed your number so many times in the last three days, but I didn't know what to say to you. That night in the restaurant, I knew I couldn't stay with Maria anymore. We argued for days, I felt nothing other than relief when she finally screamed at me to leave. I felt free, I felt alive, and the only thing I wanted to do was call you."

"Why didn't you?" I whispered, still unable to find the volume for my voice.

"I needed time, I needed to breathe, and most importantly I needed to think."

I smiled weakly, my breathing was shallow and awkward, but he didn't seem to notice. I understood that he needed time; I didn't want to be the rebound girl if something should happen between us. I had never intended to get in the way of his relationship with Maria, from what Bella was telling me he hadn't been happy. Still, I couldn't help the small nagging at the back of my mind screaming at me, telling me I had brought this about. I had to ask him.

"You said the night in the restaurant made up your mind," I swallowed, trying to force the question out, I was so afraid of the answer. "Why? What happened that made you know it was time to end it?"

He sighed and I could see the anger replacing the fire in his eyes, the flames died out giving way to flat emotionless blue.

"Alice, she's been controlling me from day one, holding her influences and connections over my fucking head like I was a donkey following a carrot. The worst part was, I let her, I was the pussy bitch that let her, because I wanted to be successful at this and I knew she could get me to the top. While I was in Seattle, I saw my sister and parents for the first time in months, and I realized that I had let that bitch take me away from the things that were important to me, so I tried to get myself a job with no attachment to her, and I met you." As he said this, his eyes softened.

I took a deep breath, conflicted about what was coming next.

"You are like a force of nature," he smiled again, "I had fun with you and I knew we would be good friends. When Maria called you that night I realized she was jealous, she even said as much when we got home, she asked my why I was hiding it from her, and I honestly wasn't; I just didn't want to share you."

My heart picked up it's pace again and pounded out its rhythm. My breathing was ragged and fear and excitement clutched at me, but I couldn't look away from his eyes, they held me captive. With every word he used to describe me they warmed again. It was hopeless, I was in love with him and it ebbed through my body with my blood.

"The fact that I didn't deny anything made her angry, I was conflicted and confused, but unwilling to let you go. I could tell you anything and I did. I realized how much I resented Maria because I finally had someone to talk about it with. The night in the restaurant was the straw that broke the camels back. I was pissed at her, but when we got home she started in on me again."

For the first time since he'd placed me against this wall, I broke eye contact. I looked down at my Manolo's so I could frown freely. I had done this; I had created the final rift between them. I had only tried to be his friend, but I was terrified of simply being the rebound. For once in my adult life, I wanted more, I wanted all of him and I wasn't struck with the incapacitating fear that normally ate at me when I thought about committing to someone; the same fear that Jacob had invoked only weeks earlier.

Jasper's other hand tucked under my chin and he raised my face to look at him, his eyes once again boring into my soul.

"Alice? What's the matter?"

"Jasper, I . . . you . . ."

"This has been a long time coming, Alice. You by being my friend gave me the push I needed without really knowing that you had."

"How?" I asked, he dropped his hand to the side and grasped mine.

"You listened, let me voice what was bothering me, and out loud I realized how it all sounded. After dinner," he said lowering his voice and closing his eyes. "When we got back to the hotel room; she told me, that if I wanted to be there when my nephew was born, I would leave you the hell alone."

I inhaled quickly, the sharp intake of breath stung my lungs and I could feel my eyes widen. Jasper's eyes were still tightly shut and I could imagine why. I was angry and I hadn't even been there.

"The next time I see the bitch . . . "

Jasper chuckled and pulled back from my ear, opening his eyes so he could capture mine again.

"That was it for me, she'd crossed the line. I stayed for two more days so I could get things in order before I left; but I ended up only hurting myself. We argued the entire time. I didn't call you Alice because I was confused, I knew how I felt when I was around you, but I didn't know how you felt. I couldn't wait any more; I needed to see you face to face. I knew you were staying here, so I took a chance."

Was this really happening? I was frozen to the spot, my mind working a mile a minute as I tried to process the words he was saying. I didn't think my heart could take it if I was wrong. Scrap that, I _knew_ my heart couldn't take it. I had to make sure.

"Jasper," I heard every emotion I was feeling spilling out me with his name. It laced the word heavily. His eyes sparked alight and they danced between my eyes and my lips. He was going to kiss me, holy shit, his lips . . . mine . . . touching. I was going to pass out.

His eyelids became heavily hooded as his faced inched closer; his hand moved up my arm, over my shoulder and cupped my neck, as the other stayed pressed firmly against the wall. The hand of mine he had just released, grabbed a handful of his shirt as the other gripped my clutch. His lips were softer than I could have ever imagined as they brushed against mine, testing the water. _Oh God;_ that felt good.

I had never felt anything like the spark that ran through me as his lips pressed a little harder against mine. Fire boiled in my veins and simmered gently in my heart, sealing him there. My muscles all relaxed as I arched towards him begging for more. He obliged almost greedily.

His lips parted slightly and the warmth of his breath sent a shiver down my spine. Both of my arms snaked around his waist so I could hold myself to him tighter, his hand on the wall cupped the other side of my neck tilting my head further back so he could deepen the kiss.

I parted my lips allowing him access, his tongue swept against mine gently making my legs weaken beneath me. He hungrily kissed deeper, sucking on my bottom lip before changing the angle. I felt everything in me pull to him. Heat coursed through my body, all heading towards my aching center.

My fingers clutched to the back of his shirt for dear life as his tongue danced across my lips before plunging deep into my mouth again. _Holy shit!_ If this is what his kisses did to me . . .

Our tongues danced together in a perfected harmony, it was so easy, and damn did it feel right.

_I kissed a girl and I liked it_

_The taste of her cherry chap stick_

_I kissed a girl just to try it_

_I hope my boyfriend don't mind it_

_It felt so wrong_

_It felt so right_

_Don't mean I'm in love tonight_

_I kissed a girl and I liked it_

_I liked it,_

_I liked it……_

_Fuck, Fuckety, fuck, fuck, fuck._ My fucking phone was ringing and I couldn't ignore it, although….it was a tempting thought. Jasper pulled away with a grin, his eyebrows raised in amusement, and his kissable lips all shiny and inviting. He jumped a little and pulled his phone from his pocket. His was ringing too.

_FUCK!_

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A/N: I hope that answered any questions as to where Jasper's been hiding out, and I hope I did the kiss justice. I am super nervous about it and so I would love to know what you guys think.**

**Goldentemptress it's now in your very capable hands ;) as always she has an amazing chapter in line for you guys. **

**Thank you for all the alerts and faves, and thank you so much to all of the reviewers. Seriously you guys are amazing and we love reading everything you have to say. I look forward to seeing your thoughts ;)**

**Till next week, Much love and Big hugz – L – **


	18. Labor Pains and Revelations

**Disclaimer: **_**Don't own anything associated with Twilight, I just own the two disc special edition, that I somehow can't stop watching compulsively to help me sleep…(or at least that's what I keep telling myself)...LOL**_

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Labor Pains and Revelations**

**BPOV**

When I woke up the next morning, I was still curled up on the couch, clutching onto the throw blanket that had been draped over the back of the couch. I was so exhausted after I talked to Alice on the phone, and after I finished the call, I curled up and cried myself to sleep. I hated the fact that I had to hide this from my best friend, but I knew I had to tell Edward first, afterall, it was his child too.

My emotions were all over the board, and I didn't know exactly how to feel about this situation. I mean, when you find out you are pregnant with your first child, you are supposed to be happy, right? Was I happy? Maybe. Was I scared? Most definitely. Did I want my child? Without a doubt. Did I have any idea what I wanted to do about this situation? Not a fucking clue.

I had been so close to telling Edward. I was right there, the words were rolling off my tongue and then his damn pager went off. I wanted to rip it out of his hands and throw it against the wall. Getting up the nerve to tell him had been hell, and I can't believe that a stupid hunk of plastic totally ruined it. Although, a part of me felt relieved, because I honestly had no idea how he would take the news. He had always been adamant about sticking to the plan, the dreaded life plan.

Well, apparently the plan went out the window when I decided that condoms were a nuisance. I just assumed that the pill would solve it all, that I was safe, that we were safe, and I could love my husband whenever and however I wanted to. Obviously, those damn little white pills had another idea.

He was going to blame me, it was inevitable. I was the one who told him it would be alright, he trusted me, and I had gone and fucked it all up. The guilt was worse than anything. I didn't want my husband to be disappointed in me, but that's how I knew he would react. Edward loved me, and he wanted me to be the mother of his children, but I also know that he never factored being a father at twenty-seven in his equation. He wanted to be in his thirties.

It didn't matter that people ten years his junior were getting knocked up at junior proms across the country. This didn't fit his schedule, and he was not going to like it. Would he resent me for this? Would he eventually resent our child too? I didn't want to believe that, but what if he did? How would our marriage survive this if he resented me for being too cavalier about birth control?

I hated being in this situation, there was no easy answer. The stress was unbearable, I already felt like crap. I was sore, tired, numb, nauseous, and to top it all off, scared shitless.

I absentmindedly ran my hand over my abdomen. There was a baby in there, a tiny little microscopic baby, and it was already making me crazy. I wanted to love my child, but there was just so much to consider in this besides the simple bond between a mother and a child.

Groaning when I tried to pull myself off the couch, I wobbled slightly, feeling a little lightheaded and made my way upstairs to take a shower. I guess Edward had decided to stay at the hospital last night, because the light on the answering machine was blinking, indicating that there was a message. I pressed the button and the loud beeping noise made me cringe as I tried to will myself to feel less like a piece of crap.

_Hey love, the surgery went well, but they need me to extend my on call shift. I may be home later in the afternoon, but no guarantees. Have a good day at work, I love you, I miss you. I will see you when you get home, be safe._

I sighed loudly as I processed his brief message, if I had told him yesterday, would he still be so affectionate? Everything in our lives so far had gone according to plan. Graduate, get married, get a house....I guess the next logical step would be having a child.

God, I need to stop obsessing about this or I will never get to work today. I hate this. I truly hate being in a situation that I have absolutely no control over, and have no idea of what the outcome will be. I wish I could just know that Edward would be alright with this, if he was at least ok with it, I would be too. He was such an affectionate and caring man, but he was so stubborn and set in his ways, always wanting control over every situation.

_Stop Bella stop! This is not helping you, no more baby thoughts, you have to get to work!_

I quickly rushed into my closet, grabbing the first suit I could get my hands on, and a pair of heels. I laid them out on the bed and stripped down, grabbing my bundle of discarded clothing and dropping them into the hamper on my way into the bathroom. I needed a hot shower, it would relieve some of the tension I was filled with, and hopefully it would calm my stomach. I was seriously getting tired of throwing up, I don't know how women deal with this morning sickness crap, I felt like I was being tortured, except all day, all effing day I felt like this.

After my long, warm shower, I felt a little bit refreshed, but I was gastly pale when I looked at myself in the mirror while I was brushing my hair. Figures, look like crap too, yippee.....

I wish I could just talk to Alice, she would know what to do, well, I think. Would she know how to deal with this? The only other person I knew who was pregnant was Rose, and Emmett had been ecstatic when she got pregnant. He had taken us all out to dinner and gloated over how proud he was to be becoming a father. My brother had been so damn excited it was contagious. Well, maybe it was contagious, maybe this was all their fault. Stupid Rose and her pregnancy hormones, rubbed off on me.

God, I am such a bitch today. I can't even force myself to get excited about this. What the hell is wrong with me? If I already resent this, what am I going to do with a newborn? I am truly going to be the world's worst excuse for a mother. I have seriously got to get it together. This cannot be healthy, I mean, what the hell.

_ARGH!_

Attempting to distract myself, I dressed quickly and made my way down to the kitchen for some breakfast. I pulled out the carton of orange juice from the fridge and got out one of my new prenatal vitamins. My new breakfast of choice, plain cheerios, was taunting me as I prepared myself a bowl, downed the pill and took a large swig of the orange juice, cringing as my stomach twisted at its invasion. I couldn't even enjoy my breakfast without feeling sick.

After I forced myself to finish all of my food and drink, I gathered up my briefcase and headed for my car. At this rate, I would be to work early, but it was a Friday, so most people would be getting in early in hopes of leaving that much earlier later in the day. Maybe work would do the trick, it would keep my mind off of things, if I could keep myself distracted, then I could focus entirely on something other than the subject that was hanging over my head. I would deal with it later, it wasn't as if it would go away on its own, or anything like that.

Throwing my briefcase into the back of my Volvo, I opened the garage door and backed down my driveway carefully, taking a deep breath before I made my way out of our little suburban neighborhood. This place was comforting, one of the main reasons we chose this neighborhood, it felt like home. We had definitely made this place home over the past year.

Traffic was its usual hectic ordeal, and with the added anxiety of the approaching weekend, horns seemed to be making extra appearances on this lovely fall day in cloudy Seattle. It was overcast, as usual, and it seemed to cement my slightly sour mood. The only thing that would make this day just peachy was if it started raining. Something akin to a monsoon would be appropriate right about now.

When I pulled into the garage, it was relatively deserted, but I smiled when I spied the loudly painted red convertible parked in a corner. At least Jacob was making an effort to continue his life as normal. Yesterday had started so well, I was able to comfort my friend and provide him some advice. Spending time with Jake was always great, he was always such a fun friend. I hated seeing him broken like he was. I wonder if I was now looking equally as broken with this new turn in events.

My desk had the final approved layout of my article lying on top of it when I finally trudged into my cubicle after my boring elevator ride to the twentieth floor. That was the one thing I could never understand about office buildings, no one ever talked in the elevator, not even to say hello, everyone just stood there, completely silent, staring straight forward, not touching.

It was so depressing to think that all of these people shared this building, some people even the same floor, and unless it was in a meeting, they never interacted. It made the whole corporate world feel so lonely, so anonymous, it was just bizarre to me. Why couldn't people just say hello to each other and be normal? Was that too much to ask?

When I opened my emails, I was bombarded with the usual crap. Junk mail, sale advertisements, and then there were the ones that made me cringe. The ones that the from line said ecullen(at)evensonarchitecture(dot)com. Yay! Mail from Esme, just what I needed to make my day go that much smoother. Well I guess she got her wish, she would be getting a grandchild soon, little did she know it was going to make her son hate me.

I clicked on the subject line and another window with the body of the email popped up, and I was bombarded with a list of names and phone numbers. There was a small paragraph at the beginning, and I instantly knew that this was regarding the upcoming masquerade ball I had been roped into helping with. Looks like Esme wasn't wasting any time, she really did want to recruit the Yuppie elite to attend this thing.

_Bella~ _

_I hope this email finds you well, I just wanted to give you some contacts to begin with while you are working on your portion of this event. When you have the opportunity to speak with Rosalie and Alice about this, make sure to let me know, as I want to get advertisements in place as soon as possible. Also, if you wouldn't mind, could you please contact some of the other publications in your building and request a meeting with them regarding donations and possible involvement in this as well. Let me know if you need anything else to get started._

_E. Cullen_

Well, at least I would have something to keep me occupied for the day. This list would surely keep me busy and inevitably keep my mind off of the other things that had been plaguing me. Maybe I should contact Jacob and see if he has any other contacts that would be able to help me with this.

I retrieved my cell phone from my briefcase pocket and began thumbing through my contacts until I made it to _Jacob Black Office (Status)._ I pressed the call button and held it up to my ear waiting for him to pick up his extension. I was never more happy that I had his direct line, because I was not in the mood to speak to his overly peppy, overly gay assistant Bradley.

"Black," his deep voice crooned through the wireless earpiece I had slipped in so I could continue scrolling through my emails.

"Hey Jacob, it's Bella, I need your help with something."

"Hey Bells, wow, two days in a row, I don't think we've had this much communication since we were in classes together back in the day," he chuckled.

"I know, I know, don't make me feel guilty. So, do you know who I would need to contact at Status regarding involvement in a local charity gala?"

"Um, probably our PR department, but I can relay a message if you want me to, what kind of gala are we talking?"

"Well, it's for the hospital, Esme is in charge of it annually, but this year they have decided to hold the gala over Halloween, she wants to have a traditional Masquerade Ball. I have been suckered into helping, and I am afraid I haven't made too many contacts yet, thus calling you for help."

"I would love to help Bells, that actually sounds like fun, but aren't those things usually filled with the old blue hairs?"

I laughed at his choice of words, he had obviously been forced into one of the boring traditional charity gala situations I had been forced into too often over the last couple of years against my will.

"That's where we come in. I have been asked to help draw in the young social elite. Apparently, Esme seems to think I can tap into the Yuppie quotient since I am now gainfully employed in the publishing world. I have even been forced to recruit Alice and Rose into this as well."

"Oh," Jacob said shortly, "Well, I don't know if I will really have time to meet with the group of you, but I can probably find someone here who can help you with what you need."

Crap! I knew that I shouldn't have mentioned Alice, of course he wouldn't want to see her. He was obviously still a little shell shocked about the whole situation.

"Oh, well we don't necessarily need to meet together, you can just help me and that can be that," I said, hoping to assuage his reluctance.

"Well, let me ask around the office, why don't you send me any information you have so far about this and I can get back to you later on."

"Perfect," I said happily, knowing that working with Jacob on this would make things easier. He had been the social chair at the fraternity house for awhile, so he could use his experience in event planning to help me through this.

"Alright Bells, take care of yourself. I'll try to get back to you with some information by Monday. Give Edward my best."

I giggled, Jacob had never really been formal with me, so hearing him request that I give Edward his best was a little weird. "Ok Jake, I'll look forward to hearing from you. Thanks again."

Well, maybe I did need to thank Esme for providing a diversion from my hostile thoughts; maybe I would be able to get through today without pulling my hair out.

The rest of the morning, I made my way through most of the contact list, asking for donations and getting people in various organizations around Seattle on board helping with the gala. I could understand why Esme seemed to like planning these so much, there was something exhilarating about being the person to direct all of the action, and knowing that it was for something that could potentially help people made it all worthwhile.

By the time lunch rolled around, I was starving, so I decided to make my way a few blocks down from the office to get some food at the little café Alice and I had been to a few weeks earlier, back when I didn't know what was causing my bouts of projectile vomiting, ah ignorance was bliss.

As I navigated through the thralls of people making their way down the sidewalks during their lunch hour, I was pleasantly surprised that my sour mood seemed to have dissipated since this morning. The sun had even begun to peek out of the clouds, and I was enjoying the fading warmth of the September sun. Living in the Northwest had never really been something I had enjoyed as a child, much preferring the Phoenix heat that Emmett and I had spent so much time in during our youth. Somehow, over the past eight years, I had come to enjoy the cool days and even though the rain could sometimes be oppressive, I still loved being in Seattle.

There was no way that I would ever want to be anywhere else; especially since my entire support system was still in the area. My child was going to grow up close to most of its grandparents, and with its aunts and uncles nearby.

I ran my hand over my still flat stomach and smiled for the first time about having this child. It didn't matter anymore if Edward was going to be upset, because eventually, he would realize that this was _our_ child, and I knew that that fact alone would be enough for him. He may be resistant at first, but I had no doubt in my mind that we would both love the child I was carrying, and that he would make a fantastic father.

When I reached the café, I decided to sit out on their patio and people watch. Usually, this was something that I did with Alice, but given my improving mood, I just wanted to enjoy the fresh air.

"What can I get you miss?"

The smiling face of the waitress brought me out of my musings, and I quickly glanced at the menu so I could give her my order.

"I'll have a water to drink, and I'd like the turkey club on wheat and a cup of the minestrone."

"Excellent, I'll be right back with your drink, my name is Erin, feel free to holler if you need anything else."

"Thanks," I replied as I returned my gaze to the people walking by on the sidewalk.

It was amazing the multitude of people that you could see wandering down an urban street at lunchtime. There were the stereotypical business men with their starched collars, and perfectly placed three piece suits, they always seemed to amuse me the most. They were always so serious and stoic looking, perfect posture, blank expression. I found it hard to believe that anyone could be that emotionless. There were also a variety of other people, and when I would see mothers with their children, I couldn't help but feel a little bit wistful.

Erin came back with my food quickly, and I was surprised at how hungry I was, I finished every bite of my sandwich, and the soup seemed to soothe my stomach.

I continued my people watching as the rest of my break came to an end, and I slowly made my way back to the office, absentmindedly gazing into the store fronts as I walked down the block. One in particular caught my eye, and I figured that it couldn't hurt to take a look inside, Suzanna was still out of the office, so I knew that being late wouldn't be a problem.

Taking a deep breath before I slowly opened the door, the scent of clean linens and baby powder filled my nostrils as I stepped through the threshold. The whole store was filled with pastel colors of various shades, and I was taken aback by the multitude of products nestled throughout the space of the quaint store.

I had never been inside of a baby boutique before, but there was something entrancing about seeing all of the tiny little clothes, and then the elegantly crafted furniture was all breath taking. I could only imagine that Rosalie had loved it when she had gone into a store like this to find the nursery furniture.

Running my hands over the smooth polished surfaces and soft bed linens, I felt a little choked up about my whole situation. Until now, I had only been worrying about what having a baby would mean. Now I felt more than a little excited about the prospect. Someday soon, I could be back in this exact store, a hand cradling my swollen belly, picking out tiny little bed linens and furniture with Edward holding my other hand. That thought alone made me happy, I mean, I was twenty-five years old, soon to be twenty-six, having a child for us would be a happy thing. We were both in good places in our lives, and we had our families around to support us; this could be a good thing.

After I quickly picked out an adorable stuffed bear for my nephew, I made my way back towards work to finish my day. I still didn't really have anything to work on, but I tried to keep myself busy going through the remaining contacts from Esme's list. I knew that we only had a little over a month to get everything together, so being persistent now would save me hours of work later on.

As five o'clock rolled around, I found myself getting more and more anxious about going home. I didn't know if the hospital would have let Edward off by now, but I knew I couldn't hold off telling him much longer. Alice would be back in Seattle soon, and I knew she would take one look at me and know something was up, I really was not that good at hiding things from her.

I quickly sent off a status report email to Esme, noting some of the local companies that had promised to help, and packed up my briefcase to make my way towards the parking garage. Most of the building had already cleared out, so I didn't have to deal with a crowded elevator ride, and for that I was thankful; being squished into the back corner of the elevator was never my idea of a good time.

Once I reached my little Volvo, I climbed into the driver's seat and started the engine. I took my phone out of my briefcase and plugged it into the charger before I pulled out into the exit lane. I had a bad habit of letting my phone battery get too low, and for some reason I felt like I needed to have my phone near me.

I was sure I would get a panicked call from Alice any moment about her Jasper situation. He still wasn't calling, and I was dumbfounded as to why he wouldn't contact her if Maria really was out of the picture. He clearly did not love the woman, and from what I had heard, he was attracted to Alice. Hopefully, he would do something about it soon, because it was getting tiresome listening to Alice become more and more paranoid as the days passed.

I wished that I could talk to Rosalie to find out if she knew anything, but I also knew that she would be suspicious if I called her out of the blue to ask about her brother, who I had only met officially once before. She would be happy if she knew that the information was for Alice, but since she herself had no idea what was going on between her and Jasper, it would only make things more complicated than it needed to be.

As I made my way through traffic, I steeled myself for the conversation that I knew would be occurring when I got home. I needed to, no I had to, tell Edward about our baby, and the sooner the better. This news was not something that I wanted to keep from him, the sooner he knew; the easier this all would be.

When I opened the garage door, I could physically feel my body relax momentarily, before my nerves kicked in; it was empty. Edward was not home, god, why did we keep missing each other? Didn't god know that this was already hard enough, ahhh!

As I grabbed my briefcase from the backseat and made my way towards the door to the kitchen, I could hear my phone start to ring from the passenger seat where I had left it plugged in. I quickly dropped my briefcase inside the door and ran back to the car to grab it before it stopped ringing. I picked it up before I even looked at the caller ID and held it up to my ear.

"Hello?"

I could hear panting from the other end, and then I heard a strangled moan from whoever had called me.

"Hello?" I said as my heartbeat picked up, as I pulled the phone away to try to look at the caller ID, I heard another strangled moan and a tense voice in my ear.

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Oh thank god……I uh……ow…god damn it," she groaned as she began to pant again. The pained voice sounded very similar to Rosalie and I wandered what was wrong.

"Rose? Is that you?"

"Uhhh, yes, Bella, I need you, please……come to the house _now_, my water broke."

"Oh god Rose," I said beginning to panic, she was all alone and the baby was coming.

"Hurry, I called Claudia, but she is downtown, she can't get here soon enough, I need you Bells."

"Ok, I'm getting in the car right now, just stay calm and don't move. Where is Emmett?"

She groaned again and began to pant again, I could only imagine the kind of pain she was in if the contractions had already started. I wasn't so sure I was looking forward to this part of my impending pregnancy.

"He's on a plane, he is supposed to be back sometime tonight, but I can't get ahold of him, Bella, hurry, please, I'm scared."

I quickly threw my purse back into the car and rushed around to the driver's side, putting the key back in the ignition and quickly backing out of the driveway.

"I'm coming Rose, just stay on the phone so I know you are alright, I will be there in a few minutes. Who else did you call Rose?"

"I, uh…..ow…..I called Claudia, and she was with my dad, they were going to call Jasper. I tried to call Emmett, but his phone was off. I called Renee, but I got her voicemail. I haven't tried Charlie yet, but maybe I should call him now, he might be able to get here in time."

I sped the five miles from our house to Emmett's at record speed, and after listening to several minutes of Rosalie's strained voice, I was pulling into the circular drive in front of their house.

"Rose, where are you?"

"I'm in the downstairs bathroom," she groaned as I ran out of the car and fumbled with my keys to find the one to their front door.

"I'll be right there sweetheart, just try to breathe."

"Ok, Bells, it's not like I can go anywhere," she chuckled roughly.

I rushed into the house, and when I got to the bathroom on the first level, I could hear crying coming from inside the door.

"Rose?" I said as I pushed the door open and kneeled down in front of her. Her face was streaked with tears and her chest was heaving as she cried. "Honey, what's wrong?"

"I……I can't believe that Emmett isn't back yet, he is going to miss it," she sniffled.

"Oh Rose, no he won't he will be there, I promise, I will make sure that he is," I assured her, if I had to drive to the airport and get him myself, Emmett Swan would not miss the birth of his son.

"I….I'm just worried," she sobbed as she clutched to my hand.

"I know, but right now, let's get you to the hospital; we don't have time to worry about my stupid brother. Where is your bag?"

"Upstairs, in the walk-in, it's a blue Vera Bradley diaper bag," she said as she cried out and grabbed onto my hand, squeezing my hand firmly.

"Breathe Rose, just try to breathe," I cooed as I tried to help her ride out the contraction. I wondered how far apart they were, not that knowing would make any sense to me, I was still ignorant to the details of being in labor.

When she had calmed down, she released my hand and I quickly ran for the door, turning around to say, "Stay," before I ran for the stairs.

I could hear her laugh and her call out something along the lines of, "like I could go anywhere right now," as I took the stairs two at a time.

When I got to the bedroom, I instantly found the bag and threw it over my shoulder, turning back around to go downstairs. When I reached the top of the stairs, my phone began ringing again, and I looked down, hoping that the caller ID would read, Emmett, but I was not so lucky, it said Edward instead.

I flipped it open and said, "Hey," quickly as I made my way back towards the bathroom where I could hear Rosalie's heavy breathing.

"Bella, where are you love? Are you still at work?"

"No, I'm at Emmett's, Rose's water broke, I am getting ready to take her to the hospital."

"Oh God Bella, how far apart are her contractions?"

I flung the door open and tried to help Rosalie up as I covered the phone to ask her.

"Rose, how far apart are the contractions?"

"Ow oh wow, I have no freaking clue, do I look like I have a stop watch?" she barked at me as I helped her to her feet. Her skirt was completely soaked, so I reached underneath the sink and grabbed a few towels to take with us.

I turned my attention back to the phone to answer Edward.

"I don't know, I think maybe ten or fifteen minutes, I'm not sure, she doesn't know," I said as I tried to help her waddle towards the front door.

"I'll meet you at the hospital, I'll have her doctor paged. Where is Emmett?"

"I don't know, he was supposed to be coming back today, but Rose hasn't been able to get ahold of him, his phone is off, he's probably on a plane."

"Alright love, just make sure to call me if her contractions get closer together, try to keep her calm."

"Ok, Edward, I am trying to get her into the car now, I'll call your pager when we get there. I love you," I said as I flung open the passenger door and laid down the towels for Rose to sit on top of.

She was panting and her face was flushed, but I could tell she was trying to remain calm about the whole situation.

"Ok love, be safe, love you too," Edward replied before I flipped the phone closed and shoved it into my suit jacket.

"Rose," I said as I helped her into the seat. "Are you still alright?"

"Yeah, Bella, just hurry, I don't want to have my baby in a Volvo."

I ran around to the driver's side and slid in; buckling my seatbelt quickly before I helped Rose get her's around her giant belly.

Driving well over the speed limit, I made my way onto the highway towards downtown. The sooner we got to the hospital the better.

"Rose, do you want to call Charlie? Or do you want me to?"

She had resumed panting again and was clutching to the armrest on the passenger door, so I figured that another contraction was coming on, or she was just really that uncomfortable.

"You call, I will try Emmett again," she said as she tried to pull open the cell phone clutched tightly in her hand.

I grabbed my own phone and pushed the speed dial to Charlie's cell, I didn't know whether or not he was on duty, so I figured it would be quicker than calling the house.

It rang several times and then my father's deep voice filled my ear.

"Bells? You alright hun?"

"Dad, I'm fine, but Rose is in labor, can you come to the city?"

He let out a woosh of air into the phone and then responded. "Yeah Bells, I'll call into the dispatcher, I'll leave right now. Is Emmett there? Can I speak to him?"

"Dad, no, Emmett isn't home yet, I am driving her to the hospital, her water broke less than an hour ago. Just please get to the hospital, I'm taking her to Virginia Mason, you know, where Edward and Carlisle work."

"Ok Bells, I'm on the highway now, I'll see you in a few hours, call me if anything changes."

"Alright dad, love you, see you soon."

He didn't respond, he just laughed and we both hung up the phone. My father had only dropped the L word a few times during my life, and I wandered how I didn't end up being more emotionally stunted after spending my teenage years with him.

By the time we got to the hospital, Rosalie was cursing up a storm because she still hadn't been able to reach Emmett. Leave it to my idiot brother to be out of contact the day we needed to be able to contact him the most.

When I pulled into the emergency lane outside of the hospital, an orderly wheeled out a chair and helped me get Rose into it before he wheeled her into the hospital.

"Rose, I'll be right in, Edward paged your doctor, I need to go park the car."

"Ok, just hurry, I don't want to be alone," she whimpered as she disappeared into the sliding doors of the emergency room.

I quickly pulled out my phone and pressed in the digits of Edward's pager, he would know we were here and come looking for us.

After I had parked the car in the garage, I got out and made my way towards the sky bridge, punching in Alice's speed dial number as I walked.

"Bella?" she answered in a breathy voice after a few rings.

"Rosalie's having the baby," I blurted out as I half walked, half ran towards the doors that led into the hospital.

"What?" she asked in the same bewildered tone of voice.

"Rosalie, baby, NOW," I barked into the phone as I tried to find the floor map once I was inside the doors near the elevators.

"I'll be right there, I'm going to make arrangements now. See you soon," she said as I found what I was looking for and made my way towards the nearest empty elevator car.

I punched in the number for the maternity ward, and I waited as the numbers slowly flicked by. I was pacing back and forth in the small space as I waited, and I hoped that Rose was not totally panicking without me there. I had no idea how to be a breathing coach, but I guess I was better than nothing. Although, I was afraid that Rose was going to take out her misplaced aggression towards my absent brother out on me.

When I got to the maternity floor, I marched up to the charge nurse's desk and was greeted by none other than Tanya.

_Great!_

"Bella?" she asked in a sickly sweet voice.

"Hi, Tanya, what are you doing here?" I asked quickly, she was usually in the surgical wing of the hospital fawning all over every doctor in sight.

"Oh, I uh, um, I was here for a consult," she said with a worried look on her face. "And you?"

"My sister-in-law is in labor, Rosalie Swan, can you tell me where she might be?"

"Hold on, I'll go find the head nurse, I'm not familiar with the delivery prep rooms," she said before she disappeared into a small room behind the desk.

After a few moments, a nurse in pink scrubs appeared and led me towards a hallway with rooms on both sides. The looked vaguely like normal hospital rooms, but there were large recliners set up, so I could only assume that they were the rooms for before and after delivery.

"Here we are, R. Swan," she said as she gestured for me to go into a room to my right, I could already hear Rosalie grunting as I rounded the corner, and I breathed out a sigh of relief when I saw a shock of bronze colored hair at her bedside.

"Hey," I said as I walked up to Edward who was holding Rosalie's hand and running a washcloth over her forehead with the other.

"Hey, love, she's doing great, she's only at a two right now, so she'll be at it awhile, but the contractions are strong," he said as he let go of her hand for a moment to give me a brief hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Emmett?" I asked as he sat down in the chair to the side of the bed to let me step in closer to Rosalie, who had her eyes closed and was breathing heavily.

"Still no word, I called the firm though, their travel office confirmed his flight was on time, so he should land sometime within the hour," he said as I stepped forward and ran my hand down Rose's forearm.

"Hey," I said as I squeezed her hand to get her attention. "How are you doing?"

Her eyes flicked open, and I laughed as her eyes flashed with anger. "How in the hell do you think I'm doing?" she snapped.

"Oh stop it, he will get here. Have you heard from anyone else yet?"

"No, but I am sure that Claudia and my dad will be here soon. They promised they would meet us here."

I turned to Edward who nodded and said he would go out to the family waiting area and see if they had arrived yet, I mouthed my thanks and then turned my attention back to Rose.

"I'll stay here with you, don't worry Rose, it's not going to help anything. Just try to relax between contractions; you are going to wear yourself out if you don't."

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, her features smoothing out a little as she tried to control her breathing.

"I know," she said softly as she sunk into the pillow behind her head. "Thanks."

"As if I would leave you here alone, god Rose, what kind of sister do you think I am?" I joked as I pulled up a chair to sit beside her bed.

"I think you are a great sister, the best one I have," she said as she smiled weakly.

"Yeah, probably because I am the only one you have," I snapped back with a smile on my face.

If I could just keep her spirits high, maybe we would be able to get through this without her having a nervous breakdown. I could only imagine what she must be feeling knowing the Emmett wasn't here yet.

Edward came back into the room a few minutes later, and placed a hand on my shoulder as he whispered in my ear.

"Her parents are here, they are waiting in the family area. Is there anything else I can help with?"

"Um, can you take my phone and call my mom? Rose couldn't get ahold of her earlier."

He groaned behind me and I rolled my eyes, Edward hated talking on the phone to my mother, but it's not like I could just get up and leave Rose alone in here.

"Edward don't start, she would probably like to know about the birth of her first grandchild, just go call her and tell her, you don't have to have a full blown conversation with the woman."

"Fine," he huffed as he took the phone out of my hand.

God, he acted like such a baby sometimes, and I wondered why I felt anxious about telling him I was pregnant. If he was going to act like a sullen child, it wasn't going to make it any easier to do so.

As I looked back to Rose, she had tightened her grip on my fingers, and her face look strained as she tried to control her breathing. I could tell another contraction was coming on, and I could already tell that this was going to be a long night.

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A/N: Gotta love life getting in the way again for Bella, hope you all enjoyed Rosalie and her labor induced behavior. It only gets more entertaining as the evening goes on, you'll get to see next week…..;)**

**Ok, I know that you were all expecting Bella to tell Edward in this chapter, but she is just now coming to terms with what all this means to her, and the situation with Rosalie threw a wrench in the works. **

**Stay tuned for the next installment, we might even have a guest writer coming up in the next few weeks…..hint hint…….*cough* miztrezboo *cough*……go check out her story Voice Inside My Head…..it will pull you in and leave you wanting more…..Nostalgicmiss and I both LOVE it!!! Also check out her Hot Bitch one shot, Carlisle Cullen DDS will make you drool......I wish I had an appointment.......  
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**Thank you all once again for your wonderful reviews and alerts.....we are nearing 300......so props to all of you, you keep us motivated to write long chapters........(my next one is over 8800 words)**


	19. Now Boarding Flight You're Screwed

_**All Things Twilight belong to the awesome Stephenie Meyer, I just let them play in my head . . . get your mind out of the gutter!**_

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Now Boarding Flight . . . You're Screwed!**

**APOV**

_Damn you Katy Perry!_

The ring tone belonged to Bella. The song had become a personal joke between the two of us so it was always assigned to her. I let it ring again and almost cried as I pulled it from my clutch. Why now? Why today?

Jasper's inquisitive eyes flickered from his phone to me, wondering which to pay attention to first. His lips were enticing me in and I had to avert my eyes before he pulled me back in. I knew the song probably confused him and I suddenly felt the need to explain.

"My best friend," I grinned, "I have to answer this."

He nodded in understanding, a small smile dancing around the edges of his delicious mouth. Then he stepped away to answer his own call. I hoped this was good; it had just interrupted the kiss of a lifetime. I flipped open the phone and held it to my ear, plugging the other ear with my finger.

"Bella?"

"Rosalie is having the baby," she shrieked in excitement and panic.

"What?"

"Rosalie, baby, NOW!"

If it hadn't have been this dire of a situation I would have laughed as she screeched out her world like a drill sergeant. My stomach flipped immediately and I could barely contain my excitement. Two of my best friends were about to become parents; I had to get there now.

My eyes flickered to Jasper in front of me. He had his back to me, his phone to his ear.

"I'll be right there, I'm going to make arrangements now. See you soon." I said and flipped my phone shut, Bella wouldn't mind the abrupt end to the conversation, I'm sure she was just as preoccupied as I was at the news, and she was there.

I turned to Jasper and smiled apologetically, he was sliding his phone into his pocket and looked a little remorseful.

"Alice, I'm so sorry I have to go."

"Me too," I sighed, stepping towards him so I could take his hands, "But I would definitely like to take up from where we left off some other time."

"You read my mind," he laughed and brushed his lips against mine again rendering me useless once again; I almost forgot my own name. "Come on, I'll walk you to the lobby."

His finger intertwined with mine as he guided us out of the bar. The electricity still flowed between us, and my entire body was drawn to him. Talk about timing. I only remembered I had to leave because he was pulling me, his calm demeanor was driving me insane I was starting to wonder if I was the one that was lost in the moment.

We walked slowly and silently towards the lobby. No words were necessary; I think we'd said everything we needed to before the kiss. With everything going on, I felt elated. Jasper - the kiss - the baby. Today was shaping up to be one of the best, now I just needed to bump my flight up so I could get home on time. I really didn't want to miss this.

Jasper walked me to the elevators and pressed the button a couple of times. I smiled to myself; I did the same thing. I watched his face as we waited for the carriage to arrive; the elevators lobby was empty.

I ran my hands up his chest to his collar and pulled him down so his face was closer to mine. His eyes flashed with excitement before sliding closed cutting me off from the hypnotic baby blues. Taking the initiative, I pressed my lips to his with fervor; his warm hands planted themselves on my hips, as mine snaked around his neck holding him to me. I wanted to give him something to remember this night by.

Jasper's soft lips moved in perfect synchronization with mine, his fingers tightened and relaxed on my hips and I deepened the kiss a little. My body bowed towards him like it was the most natural thing in the world to do. The magnetism and electricity was still there and I savored it, committed it to memory as his tongue danced briefly against my lips.

DING!

He growled quietly under his breath and I smiled against his lips. Worst timing ever!

He pressed his lips to mine, once, twice, before stepping back and smiling at me. My heart thundered in my chest, torn between the pleasure of the kiss and the slight pain of having to say goodbye so quickly.

"I'll call you soon," he promised, walking me to the elevator.

"I'll look forward to it."

He gave me one last chaste kiss before stepping away - his eyes were hungry filled with every emotion I was feeling in that one moment . . . Frustration, happiness, content, and passion. I couldn't stop my teeth from digging into my bottom lip; I watched him back away, a smile dancing across his lips again. How could I have ever been this lucky?

The doors slid closed and I grinned one last time. As they came together I fell back against the wall with a sigh, now I had things to get done. I needed to make sure I could bump up my flight and get home tonight. I didn't care what it took; I would be there in a couple of hours, even if I had to empty my savings to do it. Rosalie was having a baby.

My stomach twisted into unfamiliar knots as the realization hit me. _Holy shit_, the phone calls; Jasper. _Fuck_, he was Rosalie's stepbrother; of course he had a call. How had I forgotten that small fact?

Oh yeah . . . _He was kissing me!_

I had been so wrapped up in the moment with him I hadn't even thought about what was going on. He was going to know, I hadn't had the chance to tell him I knew his family and now he was going to be blind sighted by it all. Dammit, I hated to do this to him, I knew I could call him but what would I say . . . 'Hey are you headed to Rosalie's bedside too? Wanna catch a flight together?' . . . yeah, because that wouldn't be weird. I am such a fucking idiot.

The elevator dinging on my floor startled me and I stumbled out my mind preoccupied.

I'd had the opportunity to tell him so many times, but when I finally built up the courage he always mentioned how nice it was to be able to talk to someone outside of the situation and I felt awkward bringing it up again.

As much as this worried me, I didn't have time to mull over it, I had plans to make and I needed to make them quickly. I could worry about this while I was sat on the plane doing nothing, but for now I had to get on that plane and get back to Seattle before I missed everything.

I had my phone up to my ear as I packed my bags, I didn't bother changing, it was a little dressy for the plane but I was on the move, heading towards the airport, I would stay on the phone until I had the ticket to next flight.

I pulled the suitcase from the bed and twisted my blackened wrist again, I squeaked out in pain as the woman on the other end of the phone tapped away on her keyboard. I pulled it towards the door before checking every corner of the room.

"Okay, Miss Brandon, the next flight to Seattle is in an hour, do you think you can get here on time for that?"

"Book it, please I'm leaving now."

"Don't you want to know the price difference?"

"No, it's an emergency, let me give you my credit card information."

I read the numbers from my card off to the woman as I waited for the elevator, thankful the call ended before I climbed into the metal box and lost cell reception. I was growing impatient now, I needed to be able to think about how this was going to play out, how I was going to handle Jasper walking into that room, or vice versa, and try to explain without everyone looking at us like we were insane.

Could I tell him over the phone? Maybe, but that still brought back the question of how, and I knew he would be pissed that I hadn't mentioned it earlier. I couldn't lie, because if I really wanted a future with this guy, lying to him was out. A future?

The fact that this had come out of my mind was something very different. I had been single most of my adult life, and most of the men I had been in relationships with, I had never once considered a future with them, a life. Yet, here I was, dipping my toes into a completely new situation and seriously considering a future. If I was being completely honest with myself, and I was, I didn't think I wanted to imagine a future without him in it. That was why figuring this out was so important to me.

I dropped the room keys at reception before heading out to the curbside to grab a taxi. The doorman was able to secure one quickly and I tipped him with a smile, living in New York was expensive, you had to tip everyone.

The cab ride was quiet and quick, I had promised to double the fair if he could get me there quickly and I almost wished I hadn't said it, I was clinging to the cheap plastic of the seat, fearing for my life as he dodged through traffic. I was just glad it was later in the evening; otherwise I would never make it.

I was gasping for breath by the time we pulled up outside of JFK, my heart was pounding in my chest and for the last part of the drive my eyes had been welded shut. Note to self: Never ask a New York cabbie to speed.

I gave him double the fair and tipped him almost as much, he'd managed to get me here in twenty minutes, I was still waiting for my stomach to catch up, but I was here and alive . . . barely.

I checked in and sat in the terminal and waited. My eyes scanned the crowd wondering if Jasper would be on the flight. It was the first available to Seattle, and judging from the small crowd in the terminal; it was relatively empty.

It would be a perfect opportunity if he was, but I was rarely that lucky. This was all such a mess. I had to stop obsessing over this, it seemed as though all I did these days was obsess over one thing or another.

I tried to focus on the happiness of what was about to happen, I would deal with the situation when it happened, I had already made the decision to not do it over the phone and I had to stick with it. I couldn't keep flicking between my decisions, so I decided to just stick with it and think about something else until I finally got there. I was sure Bella would have an answer. After all, birth was a long drawn out process.

A baby, it was so bizarre thinking about it. Emmett was going to be a father. The man that epitomized fraternity brother, even as an adult, was going to be responsible for a child. I knew he would be great at it; there was never any doubt in my mind about that; but still, a baby.

The line of thought took me back so some of our college days. When Emmett, Edward and the rest of their brothers threw a party, everyone came. They had the best party's with the best liquor and the best music. They had become campus legends. For a while, Jacob had always stuck by my side, we'd practically been inseparable; that was until James came along. Jacob had never trusted him and I had never stopped wishing I had listened to him.

Had anyone told Jacob what was happening? I knew he and Emmett were friends; he'd always been a part of our group in college. My stomach flipped as I thought his name. Before I had left for New York and I had seen him in the elevator it was a little strained. I had avoided the reality of it at the time, but in hindsight, I knew it as much now as I had known it then.

I picked up the phone in the seat and swiped my credit card, then dialed the number I knew off by heart. He would either be at home or the office so I called his cell, knowing he would have it on him.

"Black."

"Jake?" his voice had sounded so gruff and off that I had to make sure it was him.

"Alice?" He sounded a little caught off guard. Mixed in with surprised and annoyed, this couldn't be good.

"Yeah, are you alright? You sound weird."

"Uh, yeah, I just . . . where are you calling from?"

He'd been screening his damn calls. I knew him too well to not see that. Had he been avoiding me? Or waiting for me to call?

"The plane, I'm on my way home. I just wanted to make sure you knew. Rosalie's gone into labor."

"What? When? How long ago?" I could hear the excitement building in his voice as he considered what was happening. Rosalie was having the first child in the group and that was a big deal. I knew he'd want to be a part of that.

"I don't know, Bella called me and told me to get my ass home. That's all I know."

"What hospital?"

"I have to call Bella and get all the details when I land," I giggled, he sounded so enthusiastic. I had never thought of Jacob as the paternal type, but something in his voice made it easy to recognize.

"What time does your plane get in?" he asked, I could hear him moving around in the apartment. His tone had lightened considerably since he'd answered the phone.

"Another hour or so I think. Why?"

"You're gonna need a ride. I'll be out front waiting for you."

Something shifted in me comfortably; this is how we'd been before the sex, and every bone on my body hoped that this was all working towards fixing what I had broken. Jacob was a big part of my life, one of my best friends and I hated that I hadn't spoken to him much since everything between us had transpired.

"Really you don't mind?"

"No, I think we need to talk anyway. Things have been a little awkward between us and I hate that."

I smiled, this was the Jacob I knew and loved. He took everything in his stride, but he was good at circumventing; I had told him a thousand times it would come back to bite him in the ass and I hated being the reason for the I told you so. If he hadn't have been so damn stubborn and told me how he felt things would be easier between us, even if would have been hard for me at the time.

I hated that he'd lied to himself and me. That he'd suffered this long because he hadn't spoken to me. I just hoped this car ride would clear the air between us. I missed him terribly.

"Thanks Jake, I'll see you in about an hour."

"Thanks for letting me know Alice."

"No problem, Jake. See you soon. Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone feeling better about one thing at least. Jacob had been a part of my life for so long and it had been one of my fears about the situation that had befallen between us. Just knowing we would have some time together made me feel better about the whole thing.

Knowing what was coming would bring us closer as a group, we were adding a new generation; it was more exciting than I could have believed. I was beginning to feel lighthearted about all of this, there was a silver lining and I had to keep my mind trained on that, things had a way of working themselves out.

I picked up the phone again and dialed in Bella's number hoping that she would be able to answer, I had no idea where I was going.

I hummed along with her call back tune and waited for her to pick up.

"Bella, hey can you talk a second?"

"Um, yeah, hold on, let me tell Rosalie I am going to leave for a moment, Emmett's plane still hasn't landed and she is freaking out"

"No problem," I sat and waited for her as her muffled movements caused static down the phone. Emmett wasn't there yet. This couldn't be good. It was a little while longer before she picked the phone back up.

"Ali, you still there?"

"Yeah, still here, how's Rose doing?" It couldn't be good for her freaking out while in labor, I mean I'm sure there's already an insurmountable amount of stress involved in labor, but adding to it couldn't be a good thing.

"She's alright, she is only partially dilated, so she still has several hours yet. I can tell she is in a lot of pain, but she can't have the epidural yet. I have been trying to keep her entertained, but no one else besides her parents are here yet."

Bella's voice sounded strained, this was taking it's toll on her and it made me a little concerned, especially considering I had no idea what the doctor had told her.

"Well, I should be landing in about an hour. Jake's picking me up, I just have no idea where we need to go."

"Virgina Mason, downtown, he knows where it is, he took me to my appointment yesterday. So Jake, huh?"

I rolled my eyes, not that she could see it. "Bella, I just wanted to make sure he knew what was going on. He and Emmett are friends; he's all of our friend. He offered, I accepted. He said he wanted to talk to me. Anyway, the same thing could be said for you. Why was Jake taking you to your doctors appointment?"

"We went out to lunch, he was looking rough Alice, he's afraid you won't want to be his friend anymore. Anyways, we were on that side of town, so he just dropped me off and then picked me up to take me back to the office."

"I was afraid of that," I sighed, stubborn ass that he is. "He's so worried about keeping me happy he didn't tell me the truth. I'm hoping to fix that, in the car ride over there. He's also a perfect segue into my next conundrum. Jasper . . . He doesn't know I am Rosalie's friend and I just realized how awkward it's going to be with Jake there; especially with what happened tonight."

My mind replayed the heated kiss again and I couldn't repress the shudder of pleasure that followed. How the hell had I managed to keep digging this hole I was already up to my eyeballs in.

"What happened tonight? He called you?"

"He came looking for me at the hotel bar and found me, we talked and then . . ." I shivered lightly remembering; this whole thing was going to drive me insane. Especially if I lost him just after I had been given a chance. "Bella, he kissed me, like I have never been kissed before, my entire body ignited, I could barely breathe. I think . . . no, I know I'm in love with him, Bella."

I pulled my legs up into the seat and huddled my body around them. It was so much worse saying it aloud than admitting it to myself in my head. I could only imagine how that sounded. Yet, I wasn't ashamed, there was an undeniable connection between us and I wanted to explore that further, I just hoped he would give me the opportunity to explain after this mess.

"Wow, that's amazing Alice. Does he know about Rose yet?"

"No, like I said, I didn't get around to it, he was too busy sweeping me off my feet. This is going to suck, he's going to see me and expect an explanation and then Jake's going to see our interaction and wonder what the hell's going on. This is Rosalie's day I don't want to ruin it with this drama."

"I meant does he know she is in labor? But, I guess he was bound to find out soon enough that we all know each other. Just don't worry about it, it's not like you can do anything about it now. And if Jake starts acting weird, I can take care of him, don't worry about that."

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat; it was a verbal flub because I was so distracted. "I think so, he got a phone call at almost the exact time I did so I'm assuming he does. I just hope he's not too upset. Thanks Bella you always know how to calm me down."

"No problem Alice, that's what I am here for. Seriously, don't worry yourself too much, everything will work out for the best, if he kissed you like you said he did, then I am sure your attraction is mutual, don't let semantics ruin that. I really should get back to the room now, I'll see you when you get here."

"Okay Hun, Thanks, love you and tell Rosalie I will be there as soon as humanly possible. Bye." I hung up the phone and snuggled into my huge seat. Thankfully they didn't demote me from first class when I bumped up my flight.

Having just under an hour left at thirty thousand feet gave me time to think, and I needed to get what I was going to say to Jasper straight. I couldn't lie, in fact, I refused to; I couldn't dance around it, it was far too obvious. I needed to be honest, but what was the truth? That I had wanted to keep him to myself? That made me sound like Maria. Not to mention it wasn't the truth.

If I was being honest with myself, it was because the opportunity never came up, because I hadn't wanted him to feel he couldn't talk to me. At the time I had thought he had been in love with Maria and I wanted to be his friend; I wanted him in my life. Would he run away from me? It all seemed so much to take in.

I had to take the chance and be honest with him. If it scared him away then I guess I would have to deal with it when it came up. I had to trust myself and I had to trust him. It was something that didn't come easily to me, but I was willing to try for him.

I didn't have a lot to go on other than my friends; my role models in life had been my mother and Charlie Swan. Charlie had given me so much in the years I had spent at his house. In fact, I attributed most of my personality assets to being around him so much for the last two years of high school. My mother wasn't around and she had never given me much hope when it came to men, she had a new conquest every month and I didn't stand a chance. If it hadn't have been for Bella, I would have thought it was normal.

Katherine, my mother, was a five-time divorcee and fashion royalty. Men used her to climb the social ladder, what hope did I have at turning out normal?

That was defeatist . . . I couldn't think that way. Bella, Rosalie even Renee and Esme had taught me better than that. I was loved and accepted into my real family and they have taught me to be me, I couldn't ask for more than that. Then there was Jacob. His friendship and love had taught me so much and I had just hurt him.

I owed them all so much.

I was getting sappy and I needed to break out of this little pity party I was throwing myself. I tried to focus on the end of the in flight movie that was playing, but it was some sappy rom com that did nothing but make me more anxious. I was beginning to feel ridiculous.

My thoughts moved to Jacob and the conversation he had mentioned. What would he want to say to me? If he was planning on being honest, I was glad about it. Maybe we could move on and be what we used to be once it was all out in the open. The one thing I promised him and myself was that if he asked about my love life I would be honest.

I had no intention of rubbing it in and tell him just how emotionally attached I was, I just planned to shed a light on Jasper's existence. I hoped that would be enough for now. I loved Jacob and didn't want to scar him anymore than I already had, and I hoped that one day he would find someone that rocked his world. He deserved that happiness. The last week or so I had spent with him, he'd become more affectionate and loving, and I knew any girl would be lucky to have him.

Working this through my head took away some of the anxiousness and I was able to relax for the remainder of the flight. Before long the seat belt light flashed and dinged and the captain came over the loud speaker announcing our descent into Seattle. The weather, of course, was rainy; but we were talking about Seattle here.

I waited patiently as the plane parked at the gate and the passengers arranged themselves for their exit. I was in a hurry so I was springing around gathering everything I had taken on the flight with me, hoping that my bags wouldn't be the last to hit the carousel; I didn't have time for that tonight. I needed to get to the hospital . . . Rosalie was having a baby.

I was still in my cocktail dress and I really wanted to change but I didn't have time for that. It wasn't that I was uncomfortable, but when I pulled my suitcase from the carousel, my wrist ached dully and I knew the blackened skin would not go unnoticed with Jacob. I would have to explain that too.

I pulled my suitcase along behind me as I marched towards the exit. I was apprehensive about seeing Jacob and my stomach lurched a little as I remembered the pain I had tried to ignore that lay dormant behind his eyes the last time I had seen him on the elevator.

I took a deep breath and anchored my courage as the sliding doors opened to the chilly northwest fall weather. I was surprised at what greeted me on the other side. Jacob and his tall frame were leaned against a candy apple red Porsche. I laughed a little and watched as his eyes lit up. He pushed away from the car and took a couple of his long strides towards me.

"You finally did it, all of that deliberation and you finally got it." I laughed, falling into his embrace. He was so familiar to me, I felt more comfortable about this ride immediately.

"The only problem is where to put that," He chuckled pointing at my suitcase, "Did you bring half of New York back with you?"

"No, just half of the D&G Spring line."

Jacob rolled his eyes and took my suitcase from me with a grin, he popped open the hood and placed the bag in the space there, pushing it down into the small space, trying to flatten it a little more. He pushed it shut and smiled at the victory, me, I wasn't so impressed now I would have to have everything pressed again.

"You coming or what?" Jacob laughed, his large frame disappearing into the car behind the steering wheel. I climbed into the passenger side and inhaled the scent of the new leather. It still had that 'New Car' smell to it.

There was a slightly uncomfortable silence as Jacob threw the car in gear and pulled away from the curb. We sat in silence until we cleared the pick up traffic. Then in true Jacob fashion, he broke the small silence.

"So you feel a birth is an occasion to break out the formal wear?" he chuckled, peering over at me.

It was my turn to roll my eyes. "No, I was in a bar, I didn't have time to change, I wanted to get here as soon as possible and it was going to be a close call getting to the airport, changing would have made me miss the flight." I smiled.

Jacob looked me up and down again but paused on my hands folded in my lap. Dammit, he'd seen my wrist, I could see the darkening of his eyes as his brows knitted across his forehead, I couldn't wait until this stupid bruise was gone.

"What the hell is _that_?" I could hear the anger bubbling in his voice as one of his hands left the steering wheel. His fingers brushed over the bruise gently.

"Some idiot in a bar, its no big deal." I said placing my other hand over the dark mark once he'd returned his hand to the steering wheel.

"_No big deal_? Alice, you fucking wrist is black."

"I'm aware of that, he got a little rough is all, a friend helped me out though, and it didn't get any further."

"Friend?"

I sighed, I hadn't wanted to delve into the whole scenario right now, but it was unavoidable. This stupid bruise would be the bane of my existence. I would have to wear along sleeved sweater or bracelet or something to cover the damn thing up until it was gone.

"Yeah, Bella and I went to high school with him, he just happened to be there and stepped in to help me out."

"Just happened to be there?"

"Yeah, his record label had been throwing a celebration, no big deal, huge coincidence, and quite a bit of luck for me."

"I hope he kicked the guy's ass."

"No he didn't, I wouldn't have wanted him to, the guy disappeared before he could reach me; but that's besides the point." I wanted to move the topic off of me for now. It really hadn't been that big of a deal. Sure the guy had hurt me a little, but it was over and done with. I hated that this stupid bruise kept bringing it all up.

I could see the frustration in Jacob's eyes, he'd always protected me from situations like that and I knew he hated that this had been out of his control. I wish he could understand that this wasn't his responsibility.

"It's over with Jake, nothing to worry about; see," I rotated my wrist and kept my smile in place, fighting the wince the strain of the movement caused. "So, how have you been doing?"

Jacob stiffened a little before shifting in his seat. I could see his internal debate, he was trying to decide whether to lie or tell me the truth. I hoped he would pick the latter, lying would mean we were still in a weird place.

Jacob blew all of the air from his lungs as he relaxed into his seat. He was going to tell me the truth.

"Not so great, I miss you."

"I miss you too, I hate how screwed up all this got," I whispered, picking non-existent lint from my lap. "I never wanted this to change who we were or our friendship, and I never wanted to hurt you Jacob."

"I know that Ali, I just never expected to feel that way about you, it kinda crept up on me when I wasn't looking. I should have just kept my mouth shut."

I twisted in my seat so I was facing him; my hand reached out and cupped his cheek. "Jake, you know that I love you to death and your one of my best friends, I would have hated for you to keep that from me, I can read you easily. I think not saying anything would have eaten you alive, I would have seen it, we would have been awkward, and I think it would have made this friendship irreparable."

"I know," The defeat in his voice was painful to listen to, but I took it and held onto it hoping it would fix this. I let my hand fall back into my lap as he continued. "As much as it hurts, Ali, you know I can work through this, I just need a little time. I do need you in my life though."

"I need you too Jake, I miss my friend," I smiled gently as the tears welled in my eyes, I bit my bottom lip to stop them from spilling over but it was useless. I hated hurting Jake because he _was_ such a big part of my life, and the fact that Jasper was probably going to show up at the hospital was just going to make this even _more_ complicated.

"Don't cry, Al, I just needed to get it all of my chest."

I nodded unable to speak, how the hell was I going to do this?

"Al you're ruining your make-up."

I laughed through the tears and wiped my eyes, and I punched him gently in the arm as I pulled down the visor to check my eyes. I didn't want to show up at the hospital looking like Cruella De Ville.

"So, who is he?" Jacob asked, as he exited the freeway.

I almost choked on my tongue. I snapped the visor back up and turned to look at him again. There was a subtle but smug smile on his lips. How?

"Huh?"

"You forget how well I know you Ali, who's the lucky guy?"

"Jake . . . I . . ."

"Alice Brandon, don't you dare dance around this. You won't hurt my feelings, I've said all I needed to say and we were never exclusive; so spit it out. This is how we used to talk, if you want things back the way they were, we're going to have to start somewhere."

I groaned. "It feels so awkward though."

"It does, but we have to get over it," he finished with a chuckle and turned his head to wink at me.

"He'sRosalie'sstepbrother," I said quickly, it hurt to say out loud, especially seeing as Jasper had no idea.

"Jasper?"

"Yes, but Rose has no idea and neither does he. Now he's going to walk into the hospital and find out."

"How long?" I could hear the hidden pain in his voice. I was so damn selfish.

"We were only friends, he had a girlfriend up until three days ago, there's an attraction there but neither of us have really acted on it."

"But . . . " Jacob cut off, pressing his lips into a line as he looked out at the road.

"But what Hun?" I asked, encouraging him to go on.

Jacob surprised me by chuckling, and looking over at me. "You'll kick my ass for saying it."

"Me?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. "Come on Jake, spit it out."

"Fine, you asked for it. I know that look Alice, that far away dreamy look in your eyes when you talk about him, it's more intense, but it's there." There was that sadness again.

"Jake, we really don't have to talk about this, maybe it's too soon."

He smiled gently and nodded, his eyes silently thanking me as he pulled into the parking garage of the hospital. He parked between two empty spaces and turned off the engine. The leather squeaked beneath him as he turned to face me.

"Alice, this is the last thing I have to say before we move on." He paused and looked down at his hands briefly. "I'm sorry I ruined what we had by involving my emotions, you are an amazing person and deserve to be happy. Just promise me, if anything like this -" he picked up my blackened wrist again, "happens again, I will be the person you come to."

As he released the hand he was holding, I moved it forward to cup his face again. "Always the protector. Whoever snags you, is going to be one lucky woman," I sighed grinning.

All of the pain, all of the guilt, flooded through my system. He'd wanted that person to be me, but I couldn't be her; and if I forced myself into that situation I would never appreciate him as much as he deserved. I loved him, just not enough.

He sighed and kissed me on the forehead tenderly. "Enough of the mushy crap, Rosalie's having a baby," he whispered, winking at me.

I laughed and pushed open the door, things had a way of working themselves out, and I hoped that Bella would help me with my next little project after all of this was over. I had a feeling she would be more than willing. For now though, there was a little boy joining our group and I wanted to be there with all of my friends so we could share this.

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A/N: You guys are amazing, really, you all send so much love our way and we really do appreciate it. We love hearing what you have to say. So thank you, really, you all rock so very much ;)**

**Thank you to goldentemptress for writing this with me and being patient with my being so neurotic . . . and we have a huge surprise coming up soon, but I am so not going to spoil it . . . or put pressure on **_**someone, **_**you know who you are, and you rock too . . . LOL.**

**Okay, I am handing you over to goldentemptress' super capable hands. Have a good Monday and I will see you next week.**


	20. Sleep Deprivation and Surprise Visits

**Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight, but do own some tasty chewy granola bars…..:)**

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Sleep Deprivation and Surprise Visits**

**BPOV**

Edward came back shortly after he made the phone call to my mother and Phil, and informed me that his shift was due to start and that he needed to return to the surgical wing of the hospital. To say that I was disappointed was seriously an understatement. Seeing Rosalie living out what would be my fate in about seven and a half months made it seem all the more urgent to tell him about his impending bout with fatherhood.

The more I thought about it, the more I _wanted_ to tell him. Even though the whole pain associated with birth was freaking me out more than I cared to admit, I suddenly wanted to be a mother. It was as if seeing her lying there, waiting and fighting to meet her son, her little baby boy, was making me wish that the rest of my pregnancy would come sooner rather than later. I was absolutely, completely irrationally elated. My sour, foul and bitter mood from the morning was completely gone and it was replaced by this self awareness that was probably freaking Rosalie out a little; I couldn't stop the smile from creeping up on my face. She was seriously trying to murder my hand, but I didn't care, not in the least.

"How……in the _fuck_……can you be smiling……ugh……at a time like……..this?" she gritted through her teeth as yet another contraction was coursing through her body.

Even with her pissed off and cursing at me, I was still smiling, I was a grinning fool, and I had to fight the urge to giggle at the realization. Yeah, I was even considering giggling, I was really that far gone.

"Oh sorry sweetie, I'm sorry," I said as I ran the moist cloth over her forehead to rid her of the bead of sweat that had accumulated there. "How is it? Is it almost over?"

"I swear to god…….if your fucking brother…….does not fucking get here……..I am going to rip……._mother ow!_........his fucking……….balls off…….and fucking feed them…………to him for dinner…….," she strained to finish as her grip somehow tightened even further on my hand.

Yeah, so apparently contractions make you want to drop the 'f' bomb every other word. _Fun!_

She was panting and gasping for air as her body relaxed back into her bed, and I wondered how long this would continue to go on.

When we had first arrived at the hospital, her contractions were still about twenty minutes apart. _That_ apparently was the easy part. She told me that it felt like she had some kind of burning sensation, that it was like having really bad cramps, but that was before _these _started.

Apparently, when you are in the transitioning phases between early labor and active labor, it's like something snaps. All of a sudden, the annoying burning sensation turns into this muscle clenching, extremely annoying, pulsing sensation, and then of course, there is the feeling that apparently comes with having a very large object being moved towards a very, very tiny canal.

That alone should probably make me want to sew up my vagina, and never want to attempt to give birth vaginally, or ever get pregnant again, but then again, we haven't even gotten to the scary part yet. I could only hope that my brother would get here faster, because there was blood associated with the scary part, and knowing my luck, I would end up hurting myself by passing out on the floor.

"Well Mrs. Swan, how are we doing in here?" an extremely deep, cheerful voice boomed from the door.

I turned towards the sound as Rosalie perched herself up further on her pillows and a slow grin crept up on her face. _Wow!_ Now I know exactly why Edward insisted that I go to Dr. Rucker, because yeah, Rosalie's obstetrician was gorgeous.

_Stop it Bella, you are married, married AND pregnant, stop drooling, stop it now!_

"Could be better," she murmured as she beamed a smile at him, showing off her new white veneers she had given herself for Christmas last year.

Rosalie Swan, _bad girl_, fawning over the hot doctor while you are getting ready to squeeze out my brother's son. Ok, so maybe she couldn't help it, Dr. Hotness did kind of beg to be stared at. He was tall, lean and muscular, with short, cropped brown hair and piercing blue eyes. His smile was somewhat infectious, and I could now understand why he and the other three OB/GYNs at this hospital, besides ancient Dr. Rucker, were referred to as the 'four horsemen' by the nursing staff. I didn't even want to begin to think about the connotations of a nickname like that, but looking at him, I had a feeling it was something completely inappropriate, and something that I should definitely not be currently fantasizing about……

"Alright Rosalie, let's see how far you are," Dr. Hotness said as he walked over to a dispenser on the wall that held latex gloves and he snapped one into place on his left hand.

"Alright Dr. Sloane, let's get this show on the road," she said as she rubbed her belly affectionately. "Oh, and this is my sister in law, Bella Cullen."

"Well it's nice to finally put a face to the wife that Dr. Cullen talks about so frequently," he said as he extended his ungloved hand to shake mine.

I blushed furiously and tentatively shook his hand, confused as to why an OB/GYN would be talking to my surgical intern husband about me.

"My father went to medical school with Carlisle, sometimes the four of us go golfing," he responded to my unasked question.

"Oh," I responded, relaxing slightly. "Well that's nice. It's nice to meet you Dr. Sloane."

"Trust me, the pleasure is all mine Bella," he said as he pulled up a stool at the end of Rosalie's bed. I could definitely tell that his reputation with the nursing staff was not an over exaggeration as I interacted with him, he was definitely charming, and as I looked at his left hand, he was charming and single. Charming, and single, and trouble……

"Well," he said as he positioned himself in between Rosalie's spread legs, and lifted up the end of her gown a little. "It looks as though you are over the three centimeter point, so the progress of your labor should go a little more quickly now. Are you still wanting to go ahead with the epidural?"

"Are you kidding me?" Rosalie said whipping her head up further and scowled at him.

He just chuckled and said, "Alright, I will call the anesthesiologist, is there anything else that you are concerned about while I am here?"

"No Dr. Sloane, I think we're good, although you might have to deliver my baby from jail if Emmett does not get his act together."

Dr. Sloane and I both laughed at that, but from the look on Rosalie's face, I was not exactly sure that she was kidding.

"Alright, well, I will contact Dr. Stock, she should be in shortly to administer your epidural. Don't worry about Emmett, I'm sure your husband will get here as soon as he can, you still have a good few hours until we will need him. Also, Bella, make sure to keep her hydrated, and if she needs to use the bathroom, feel free to page an orderly."

"Thank you Doctor," I said as I reached over to get Rosalie's glass of ice water from her bedside table.

"No problem, it was nice to meet you Bella, and Rosalie, try not to hurt anyone until I see you again," he said with a chuckle as he deposited his glove into a disposal container by the door.

Luckily, the night at the maternity ward seemed to be slow, because the other side of her room was still empty, and I was sure that it was making it easier for Rosalie to cope with the fact that she was trying not to freak out.

My phone ringing brought me out of my reverie, and I motioned to Rosalie that I needed to go out and take the call, because it was Alice.

"Go," she grunted as she munched on a few ice chips, waving me off with her hand.

Well, it looked as if the drama was going to follow Alice around wherever she went. Although I hoped that after my talking to him yesterday, that Jacob would be honest with her. I really didn't want to have to lose a friend over their little 'agreement', so they had better get it together and act like adults. I mean, seriously, what twenty five year olds are getting involved in 'friends with benefits' relationships and thinking that it is a good idea. That's the kind of shit you do in college when you're horny, we're just too old for that shit.

After my quick conversation, I decided to give Emmett a call again, because his plane would be in by now. I didn't want to leave Rosalie alone for too long, but I knew that the consequences for him missing this would be worse than her being along for a few minutes.

"Hello?" his deep voice said after a few rings. _Thank god!_

"Em, where in the hell are you?" I growled, frustrated that no one had heard from him for most of the evening.

"Well hello to you too squirt. I just turned my phone back on, I'm in baggage claim. What's up?"

"Emmett Charles Swan, you get your ass in a cab and get to Virginia Mason NOW! That is, unless you want your son to be born without you," I barked into the phone at him.

"Oh shit, I knew that it wasn't normal to have twenty missed calls, hold on, my bag is coming," he said quickly, and I could hear rustling on the other end before he started talking again. "Is she alright? How far along is she? Can I still get there in time? Shit, I knew I should have told them to send me back earlier."

"Calm down Em, yes, she's alright, she is at just over three centimeters, and yes, you can probably still get here in time, so go get a cab now, and I might be able to convince her not to castrate you."

He chuckled and then promised he would be at the hospital within twenty minutes if it killed him, and I was happy to be able to go back to Rosalie and report that she would not have to have me as a breathing coach. I was sure capillaries in my hand was already going to burst, so I didn't want to be around when the pushing started.

I closed my phone and headed back to the room, where I could hear panting again, and I knew that she was starting to get her contractions closer together. Thankfully, she would be getting her epidural soon, so it would probably improve her mood and allow her to rest a little bit.

As I walked into the room, Claudia had somehow snuck into it while I was chastising my brother, and she was talking softly to Rosalie about how it's all worth it once you meet your child. Somehow, I didn't think that Rosalie was quite receptive to that in her current state, but props to Ms. Whitlock for trying.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll love him, blah blah blah. Where is my damn epidural?," she said with a laugh as Claudia tried to wipe the sweat off of her forehead.

"Have you considered trying it naturally Rosalie? I had Jasper naturally, and it really was not that bad, it was quite the cleansing experience," she said as I tried to bite back a laugh. I knew her intentions were good, but Rosalie was not exactly the type to buy into causing herself pain for a _'cleansing experience'_.

"Yeah, well Jasper's skinny ass only weighed six pounds, so bring on the drugs," Rosalie said as she spotted me in the doorway and shot me a warning look.

If there was anyone who could stand in as a replacement for Emmett, it was me; because I didn't put up with Rosalie's bullshit, and she knew it. That was the beauty of our relationship, the reason we got along so well; we were both stubborn, and opinionated, albeit I was not quite as vocal, but still, Rosalie and I were more alike than we would both care to admit.

"Bella, who were you talking to?" Rosalie asked while Claudia made her way towards where I was standing by the door.

"Alice, she is on her way, her plane just landed, and Jacob is picking her up," I said first, because I wanted to save the Emmett information for after her reaction to Alice coming.

"Oh yay, that's good. At least _some_ people know how to get here from the airport."

"Well, while I was out there I talked to someone else, and he might be coming from the airport as well as we speak," I said with a small grin on my face.

"Emmett's coming?" she said with an excited look on her face.

"Maybe," I said shrugging my shoulders.

She sat up further, narrowing her eyes at me and said, "Bella Cullen, you are not funny, you are lucky you are on that side of the room. Is my husband coming or not?"

"He's in a cab, he'll be here soon," I said as I walked over to her bedside and refilled her glass from the pitcher of ice water.

She grabbed the glass from me and sipped it all as she relaxed back into the pillows.

"Good," she said as she handed the glass back to me to set down.

"He better get here, especially if he plans on having any more of these," she said as she motioned to her large gown covered belly.

"You are so lucky you don't have to go through this yet," she said as she tensed up in anticipation of another contraction. They were getting closer and closer together, and I knew that she would be getting into hard labor soon. At least Emmett would be here by then, and I could be relieved of my post, I was getting really tired, and my stomach was bothering me again.

I held onto her hand and whispered encouraging words to her as she went through another strong contraction, hoping that the anesthesiologist would get here before she got too far along. I wasn't sure that my brother would make it through the night if she had to do this without the aid of pain medication.

As if my prayers were answered, there was a knock at the door and a tall, brown haired doctor came through the doorway with a nurse wheeling an IV stand and a small cart behind her.

"I'm Dr. Stock, the maternity anesthesiologist on call this evening. I will be administering your epidural, but we need to get an IV started to get some fluids into you before we can," she said as she wheeled over the IV stand and motioned for the nurse to start the IV.

"Once the fluids have had some time to get into your system, I can start the process of administering your epidural. You may have a few contractions during application, but I need you to try to remain still while I am positioning the needle to insert the catheter."

Wow, that was a lot more information that I needed. Rosalie looked up at me as if the doctor was crazy, and I smiled at her to let her know the information had gone right over my head as well.

I sat down in the recliner in the corner while they were giving her the IV, because blood and needles were not exactly my friends. The last thing that Rosalie needed was having to worry about me passing out before Emmett got here.

After about ten minutes, the fluid bag was half-empty and Dr. Stock started moving things around on her cart, and she pulled out an extremely large needle. A c-section was looking more and more appealing by the minute. This whole natural childbirth thing did not look like fun. Give me scars any day.

"Alright Rosalie, now I will need you to roll over onto your side and try to arch your back out like a cat. You will be in discomfort while I place the needle and the catheter tube, but please try to remain still. Would you like your partner to come and hold your hand while I do this?" she asked looking over at me sitting in the chair.

I blushed and laughed lightly because the doctor obviously thought that I was her 'life partner', not that there was anything wrong with that, but Rosalie definitely would be the lipstick lesbian in our relationship if we were together like that.

"She's my sister in law, my son of a bitch husband is still on his way here," Rosalie grinned as she motioned for me to come over to her.

"Oh, I understand," Dr. Stock said, visibly embarrassed. "Well, let's go ahead and try to get you rolled over on your side."

I reached for Rosalie's hands and held onto them while the nurse and the anesthesiologist helped her roll onto her side. She tightened her grip on my hand as the doctor ran a swab across her lower back, and I tried to concentrate on not passing out when she reached for the extremely large needle from the cart beside her.

_Deep breaths Bella, deep breaths, do not pass out, Rosalie will kill you._

Focusing on my breathing, I held tightly onto Rosalie's hand while the doctor inserted the needle into her lower back, and then after she pulled some clear looking fluid into the empty syringe attached to it, she began to push some really tiny looking tube into place at the base of her spine.

Rosalie cringed and I looked away, not wanting to see anymore of this torturous ordeal. It did not look comfortable in the slightest. As Dr. Stock reached back to her cart to grab something, Rosalie's body tensed and I knew that she must have been having another contraction.

"Just breathe," I said as I took both of her hands and leaned down to look her in the eye.

She looked genuinely terrified, and slightly pissed off, and I had never seen Rosalie look quite so vulnerable.

"You're doing fine, she's almost done," I said as I looked back over to Dr. Stock who appeared to be taping something to Rosalie's lower back.

"It hurts," she whispered as she panted and squeezed my hand.

"You're doing great Rose, once she's done it will help."

I wasn't sure if it would or not, but with the wide use of epidurals during labor I was sure that it at least had to take the edge off. There couldn't be all that hype for nothing.

"Alright Rosalie, all done," Dr. Stock said as she pulled off her latex gloves and retied the back of Rose's gown. "I capped it off so if you are feeling any discomfort let one of the nurse's know and I can readjust your dosage before you go into hard labor."

The nurse stepped forward and the three of us helped Rose roll back onto her back, and I held her hand as they helped her scoot back into a sitting position. She gave me a weird look as she relaxed back into the bed, but I could tell that she was starting to feel a little bit of relief.

"Well, like I said, if she starts to feel more discomfort, make sure to let a nurse know, but she should be fine," Dr. Stock said as she turned to move towards the door.

I looked back to Rosalie who had an amused smile on her face, and it kind of worried me.

"You alright Rose?" I asked as I tried not to laugh at her.

"I'm good," she drawled as her smile god wider. "I can't feel anything, at all, nothing, it's like _down there,_" she motioned to her lady parts in a wide circle, "doesn't even exist anymore."

I bit back a laugh and was about to respond when a familiar booming voice echoed down the hallway.

"Dude, that's my wife in there, of course she wants to see me. Who do you think knocked her up?" he chuckled as he walked into the room with a flustered looking nurse wearing pink scrubs trailing in after him, trying to grab him by the arm of his white button up shirt.

Emmett's grin reached epic proportions as he saw Rosalie sitting in the bed, and she beamed back at him, equally as thrilled that he was finally here. His dark curls were in disarray, but his brown eyes sparkled as he walked closer to us. He was wearing a white dress shirt with the arms haphazardly rolled up and his red tie was loosened and hanging at a strange angle from his neck. His black dress pants were wrinkled and his shirt was sloppily tucked into them, but despite his worn looking appearance, I had never seen my brother look quite so thrilled to be somewhere.

"Rosie," he drawled as she stepped up to her bedside and leaned down to give her a kiss on her cheek.

She giggled in response and brought one of her arms up to run through his curly hair as she cooed something in his ear. They were still disgustingly in love after all these years, and I felt like I was intruding on their moment.

"Well, now that Em is here, I think I will head to the waiting room to see who else is here," I mumbled as I began to back away from the hospital bed.

Rose grabbed one of my hands with a huge smile on her face as she held onto Emmett's hand tightly with her other.

"Thank you Bells, really, I don't think I would be doing so well if you hadn't been here with me."

I smiled at her and squeezed her hand before I moved to walk towards the door.

Once I turned out of the door, a large hand clasped my shoulder, and I quickly turned around to my brother, who was looking at me with relief in his eyes.

"I love you Bells, thank you for being here, I really appreciate you getting her here safely. Too bad I'm not having a girl, or I might have to name her after my second favorite woman," he said as he pulled me into a tight hug.

"Can't breath…….Em…….put me down……….you are crushing me………ow…ow…" I said as I tried to break free from his ridiculously tight grip.

"Oh sorry Bells, got a little carried away, you ok," he said as he patted me on the shoulder.

I instinctively ran a hand over my stomach and sighed before I flashed him a grin. The fluttering in my stomach had been getting worse, and I knew that I needed to go get something to eat; I hadn't had anything since my lunch at the café.

"No problem Em, I didn't want her to have my nephew in your guest bathroom," I joked as I poked him in the side. "Now go be with your wife, at least she is drugged up now, she was quite a treat earlier."

As I walked down the hallway back towards the family waiting area, I smiled as I heard a few familiar voices. The deep rumble of Jacob's laugh carried towards me as I peeked my head in the door, and Alice's face lit up as she beckoned for me to come over to where they were sitting.

Claudia and Roger, Rose's dad, were sitting in two chairs with their backs to me, and Jacob and Alice were sitting across from them with their backs against the outside windows of the hospital. It was pitch black outside, and I was taken aback when I looked up at the wall and realized that it technically was not Friday anymore. It was almost three in the morning, I cringed, not realizing that I had been in that room with Rosalie quite that long. We had been at the hospital since six thirty the night before. I guess it did make sense considering that it was a six hour flight from New York to Seattle.

"Hey," I said as I plopped down in the empty seat separating Jacob and Alice.

"So? Any baby yet?" Alice laughed, "I mean I was sure that she'd of had him before I got here."

"Nope, not yet, she just got her epidural a little while ago, and the doctor said that she was in active labor....I...." I said as I scratched my head in something akin to confusion and exhaustion. "I think it shouldn't be too much longer now. Her contractions seemed to be getting stronger. Did you guys see Emmett?"

"No, I think he got here just before we did. I bet Rosalie was relieved to see him."

"Oh god, you have no idea, I think I got out of there before they started making out. She was whispering things in his ear when I decided I needed to leave. Who knew that they could still be all lovey-dovey while she was giving birth," I chuckled, just as my stomach rumbled and growled loudly. Embarrassed, I blushed profusely, and cradled my stomach while my eyes were as wide as saucers.

"When was the last time you ate Bella," Alice asked, raising her eyebrows with a smile. "You need to go get something to eat?"

"Um," I said scratching my head, "Lunch yesterday, she called just as I got home, yeah, I think I need food, my stomach is starting to hurt."

"Well, come on then," Alice said standing up and holding out her hand for me to take. "I'll come with you. You can fill me in on all the gory details."

I grabbed her hand and she tugged me down the hall, pausing to run her hand over the hospital map by the elevator as we waited for the next car to arrive. She pushed the button several more times, and then tugged me inside when the one to the left of us opened up. She pushed the button for the floor that the cafeteria was on, and grinned as the doors slid closed.

"Why are you smiling?" I asked her, confusion evident in my voice.

"I think, Jacob and I have cleared the air a little, which is amazing, I kissed Jasper in New York before I left, you have no idea. I have a suitcase full of Dolce's Spring line. Two of my best friends are having a baby, and, of course, I am standing with my best friend. What's not to smile about." Alice beamed, leaning against the wall of the elevator looking pleased with her assessment.

"I guess I can see your point," I said with a tired laugh, as the elevator doors slid open. I could hear the familiar clanking noise coming from the hospital cafeteria, and I was surprised it was still loud at this early hour.

We both stepped out of the car and walked down to the cafeteria doors, and when they opened I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. It didn't matter to me that hospital food was worse than elementary school cafeteria food, I was starving, and the rumble coming from my stomach indicated that my body agreed whole heartedly.

"So.....where is Jasper?" I asked as I wandered up and down the small area, picking up a piece of fruit, and a bowl to get some cereal with.

"He wasn't on my flight so I have no idea, I can't believe I blanked on the whole 'Rosalie is his sister' situation. How dumb can I be? I didn't want to do it over the phone either I thought that would end badly, so I took your advice and here we are."

"Well, at least we have a little time on our hands to formulate a plan of attack," I said as I grabbed a box of cheerios and threw it on my tray, as well as a small glass of milk. I made my way towards the cashier and paid as Alice followed along behind me.

We found a table in the corner, and sat down with our backs to the wall as I prepared my food. Even though it was a simple early breakfast, I had a feeling it would do wonders for how I was feeling.

"Ok, so how did the conversation with Jacob go?" I asked as I brought a bite of cereal to my lips.

"Well, he was distracted by this," Alice held out her wrist meekly. "Then he broke it all down for me, he told me he missed me, he never expected to feel the way he did about me and that he wishes he kept his mouth shut. As awkward as it was, I told him I loved him, but wasn't in love with him. I felt horrible."

"God Al, that's horrible," I said picking up her wrist to inspect it. Whoever did that to her deserved to be beaten.

"He would probably be mad if I told you this, but I really don't care anymore. I don't think he was in love with you either, I think he was in love with the idea of being in love with you. If that makes sense....."

"I think so too, but I wasn't going to say that to him. Both of us agreed that we were better off as friends, even if we needed a little time to get back to the way things were . . . then, well . . . then he asked who I was seeing." Alice shifted uncomfortably in her chair, her fingers made senseless pattern on the tabletop. "It was so uncomfortable, and I told him I felt awkward, but he insisted we start somewhere. I told it was Jasper, and then as intuitive as always . . . he called me out!"

"Well, it is Jacob, he knows you almost as well as I do."

Ok, so maybe better in some ways, but yeah, not gonna think about that right now.....

"Yeah well he saw something when I was speaking about Jasper . . . something I have barely admitted to myself . . . " Alice took a deep breath and slapped both of her hands on the table. "I'm in love with Jasper, Bella, and Jacob saw it, he saw through me so easily, I felt terrible . . ."

"Ali, stop beating yourself up about this. Jacob wants you to be happy, he's not going to deny you a chance at love. He's probably just jealous that you found it first," I said nudging her elbow with my own. "So you are officially in love with Jasper huh?"

"After those long conversations, I knew; but I was lying to myself, I didn't want to get hurt. I convinced myself I could only be his friend, but then that kiss . . . I knew unequivocally that he was all I wanted, that I was hopelessly in love with him. Bella, my knees went weak, my legs were like jelly. It was . . . I can't even think of a good enough word to describe it."

"I know exactly how you feel. I knew I was going to marry Edward after our first date. Are you going to tell him?"

"Probably not for a while, I want to make sure I'm not the rebound girl, that there really is something between us and that he feels it too. From what he said at the bar last night, I think he feels something going on between us, but I am so afraid I'm wrong, I want to be sure. I think I'll know when the time is right . . . did you know when the time was right?" Alice asked, almost hopeful.

"Well.....yeah, it was hard, but somehow I just waited, and then when we were on a date one night, he leaned across the table and said 'Bella, you know that I am hopelessly in love with you....right?'.....and it just flowed out. It'll happen, just don't let yourself doubt your feelings, that'll just make you more crazy. And as far as being the rebound, I think there would have to be something substantial to rebound from for that to happen, and I honestly don't think that there was."

"I hate all of this self doubt, it's makes me feel so . . . Ugh. Anyway, enough about me, have you talked to Edward yet? hint hint."

"No," I said bringing my hand to rest on my abdomen under the table, out of Alice's line of sight. "He got paged, and then Rose went into labor, and then his shift started. I guess I will have to tell him my news, well our news, when he gets off work."

"Well, I can see that talking to him first is important, so I guess I can wait . . ." She grinned playfully, "That's unless you want to tell me, or we could do like we used to do with Charlie, and I can guess. Do you remember that Christmas?" She giggled.

"Um....I really can't tell you even if you do guess....so it probably wouldn't be a good idea, because you know I can't lie to you. I'm sorry Al, I really am, I really, really want to tell you, but it's not fair to him if I do."

I sighed loudly and wished that I could throw his damn pager in the ocean, or off the top of the space needle, or anywhere else where it couldn't interrupt one of the more important conversations I will probably have ever had with my husband. I hated this situation all over again. I was still happy, but I was tired and frustrated, and the fatigue was really starting to get to me.

"Well, then I can wait," Alice smiled and placed her hand on mine. "But just the mention of this has you all serious again, is it the situation you can't talk about or something else? I'm not pushing you for answers, I just want to know you're alright."

"I'm fine Alice really, I'm healthy I promise, it's just hard. This situation is hard, and I can't really do anything about how frustrated I am with it until I talk to him. He is just as much a part of it as I am."

"Ok, enough talking about me, and your boy drama, how was the rest of Fashion Week?"

"Divine, You should have come with me, they gave me two passes to every show, it was all amazing. Oh and I think I almost made Maria fall off a cat walk." Alice laughed, pulling out her phone. I hoped I wasn't to get more 'head' shots of the girl. "I present to you dear Mrs. Cullen, Mr Seth Clearwater."

Alice handed me her phone.

_Holy Crap_, she was right, Seth had turned into quite the typical musician, tan, ripped, tattooed, and sexy as hell. I could feel my heartbeat increase a little bit just looking at him. Hmm....I could actually say that I made out with a famous person, now I don't feel so weird about my first kiss anymore.

"Wow," was all I could really say.

"Too bad you were pining over Jasper, Seth looks like he could be alot of fun," I teased as I wiggled my eyebrows at her.

"I'm going to get a cup of coffee," Alice said as she rose up from her seat, "you want one?"

"Um, no, no thanks, I'm good," I said quickly, trying to be nonchalant, but I could tell by the heat in my cheeks, and the way she looked at me that she could tell something was up, I was a horrible actress.

She returned a few minutes later with a steaming travel cup full of coffee and hummed as she took the first sip.

"This week has been insane, Bells. Sorry if I was a pain in the ass."

"It's fine, it was nice to have someone else to worry about, I forgot how lonely I get without you around. I mean, Edward has been great lately, but I really let myself get isolated there for a while. It was nice to feel needed," I told her with a smile as she took leisurely sips from her coffee cup.

"It's nice to be home again, I was missing you all terribly, talk about isolated."

"Well I can't speak for anyone else, but I am glad you are home. You always know how to keep things interesting. Although, you did seem to keep things interesting in New York as well," I laughed, poking her in the arm.

"Yeah, well my days of voyeurism are over," Alice laughed shaking her head. "But those last couple of hours were worth every minute of the anxiety I felt all week."

"I'm glad," I said with genuine emotion. I had never seen her react to a guy this way, James had been an intense, sexually charged infatuation, I knew from the beginning that she hadn't let herself fall in love with him. She looked totally at ease when she talked about Jasper, and he had only kissed her so I knew that her feelings weren't marred by sex yet.

Alice bit her lip and nudged me with her shoulder, "Me too."

"Soo....I wonder when she is going to pop out that kid...." I sighed, looking up at the clock on the wall above the double doors that led back to the elevators. It was just past five in the morning, we had already been down here for almost two hours, and I couldn't believe we had yet to hear anything.

"You don't think we missed it do you?" Alice asked, checking her phone that was laid on the table. "Should we wander back up there and see what's going on?"

"We can if you want, but I'm sure that Jacob would probably have come and found us by now if she did. It's up to you."

"You do realize it's after five and your asking miss indecision herself what she wants to do?"

"I am fine just waiting here and talking. Those rooms can get oppressive when you are waiting for something. Do you want anything to eat?" I asked as I stood up from the table.

My morning nausea was starting to kick in a little, and I knew that I needed to get more food on my stomach to keep myself from getting sick. Alice would be suspicious if I got sick again, since I told her more than once that I was healthy.

"Hmm," Alice said eyeing the small counter from where she was sat, she started grinning like a cheshire cat. "That fruity yogurt thing would definitely be good about now. You hungry again?"

"Yeah, I really didn't eat alot before, I just don't want to let myself get run down again," I said as I walked towards the line again with Alice trailing behind me. We both grabbed some fruit yogurt, and I grabbed a few granola bars, just in case, and we paid and made our way back to our table.

We talked for another hour or so, and then Jacob burst through the double doors with a huge grin on his face.

"Come on ladies, quit wasting time. You are lucky that Charlie and Roger were there to keep me entertained. I should be pissed at you both for leaving me up there," he said pointing to us both with one dark brow raised.

"You could never be pissed at us Jacob Black, but you're wasting time . . . Come on!" Alice trailed behind me quickly as I moved towards Jacob and the doors.

Alice and I linked arms with Jacob once we were in the elevator, and the three of us grinned like idiots as we went back upstairs to wait for my nephew. I was sure that the sleep deprivation was starting to get to all of us, but I didn't care, because I had two of my best friends at my side as we waited for the newest member of my family.

As we got to the maternity floor, Jacob bent over slightly and Alice jumped on his back as we headed down towards the waiting room where my father and Rose's parents were waiting. Nurses were staring at our strange behavior as we made our way down the corridor, especially when I started skipping beside them.

When we entered the waiting room, Alice was giggling as Jacob bent down for her to climb off and I smiled at the fact that their awkwardness around each other was gone for the time being. I was sure that it would take a while to get back to somewhat normal for them, but this showed me that it was at least possible. That was good for me, because I would have hated it if their situation caused me to choose between them. I had known Alice forever, and she was my best friend, but Jacob was always there when I needed him, no questions asked.

My father looked up from his chair against the windows across from the door as we walked in, and I beamed at him as he stood up. The shirt of his uniform was untucked, and he looked exhausted, but it had been a few months since I had seen him, and I quickly crossed the room and threw my arms around his shoulders.

"Hey daddy," I cooed in his ear.

"So you haven't slept either," he chuckled in my ear as he held me to him for a few seconds.

When he released me, he grabbed onto my arms and held me away from him so he could look at me.

"Something's different about you Bells, the new job must really agree with you," he said with a smile that was filled with love.

_If you only knew dad, if you only knew……_

He may not say it as much as I need him to sometimes, but I know, I know he loves me, and I was once again glad that I spent those two years in Forks with him.

He was happy that I was working again, because he said that I didn't need to become a pampered housewife just yet. I was too young, and needed to have fun, and if having a job made me happy, then he was all for it. If only Edward would have been so easy to convince. I had a sinking feeling that as soon as the pregnancy progressed he would insist that I quit and spend time at home again. I was determined to try to work something out with Suzanna, and maybe work from home once the baby was here. I loved my job, and wasn't quite ready to give it up yet.

"Thanks dad," I said as I poked him in the stomach. "I see you are still managing to get fed," I teased as he pretended to frown at me.

My father had been rumored to be involved with a woman in Forks, but he had yet to reveal her identity to Emmett or me, and I for one, could not wait until we got to meet his secret lady friend. Charlie Swan had been alone for way too long, and he needed to have someone because he wasn't going to be the chief forever.

"Well come have a seat," he said as he sat back down and patted the seat beside him.

Alice plopped down on his other side, and said, "Hiya Charlie," as she laid a big kiss on his cheek. My father blushed as Jacob laughed quietly from her other side.

Claudia was curled up into Roger's side and they both looked like they had been asleep for some time now. I didn't blame them waiting in one of these rooms was dreadfully boring, especially when you didn't have an exact time for something. Rosalie had been at it for hours, and I hoped that the baby was safe.

As if on cue, Emmett came bounding through the door, wearing a pair of scrub pants and some sort of coat thing, a scrub cap haphazardly perched atop his unruly curls. I had no idea where he got that thing, but I was sure that he probably beg, borrowed, and stole the thing from a nurse so he didn't have to wear one of those hairnet things.

"So," we all said expectantly as his smile grew.

"He's awesome," Emmett boomed as he walked towards us and sat down next to Roger, who had woken up at Jacob's laughing.

"He's big, I didn't think he'd be that big," he said as his signature dimples showed proudly. "He's 10 pounds 2 ounces, 23 inches long, dark hair, blue eyes, he's beautiful."

I grinned widely at my brother who looked like he had just won the lottery. He sounded adorable and I couldn't wait to meet him.

"How's Rose?" Alice asked from beside me, practically bouncing in her seat.

"She's good, they are getting ready to take her back to the room, she needs to rest for awhile, and then they will bring him in to us. He was a stubborn little thing, but she did really great, I was thoroughly impressed," he said with a proud look on his face.

I couldn't believe that he was that big since he was technically a week early, but, he was my brother's son, so I guess that it made sense.

"Have you named him yet?" Claudia asked; her voice rough with sleep.

"Not yet, but I am sure once Rose rests for a bit and sees him again, we'll come up with it, she was so tired once he was out. But her face was priceless when I put him in her arms. I can already tell he's got her wrapped around his tiny finger."

"Well," he said standing back up and arching his back to stretch, "I should get back in there; I'll come get you guys when you can meet him."

My dad stood up, clapped Emmett on the shoulder and told him how proud he was of him, and I laughed when he enveloped him in a huge bear hug. I don't think he had ever gotten use to the fact that Emmett and I were both huggers.

We sat in the waiting room until just after seven thirty, and Ali and I both had our heads leaned against Charlie's shoulders as we tried to stay awake. I was sure that I was going to lose the fight when Emmett came back in and led Roger and Claudia back to meet their new grandson.

They came back shortly after and my dad went back in with Emmett, and Jacob filled his seat as he had his arms around both of us.

I must have dozed off, because I jumped when he nudged me, and my brother was standing in front of me with an amused look on his face as he held his hand out to me.

"Come on Bells, time to meet your nephew. If we hurry, he might still be awake," he said with a yawn.

I looked up at the clock and noticed it was almost nine o'clock and I couldn't believe how long I had been napping. I didn't even remember falling asleep, but Jacob is warm, so I really couldn't help myself.

"Hey, can Alice come too?" I asked as I yawned and stretched my arms up over my head.

"Of course," Em said as he grabbed her by the hand and hoisted her out of the chair.

She squealed and then giggled as she grabbed my hand and we followed Emmett back to Rosalie's room.

When we walked in, my dad was holding a little blue bundle in his arms and cooing softly as Rosalie looked up at him with tired eyes in awe of the sight before her. He was adorable, who knew my dad was such a softie for babies.

Emmett laughed as he reached over to take his son and he grinned at Charlie as he turned to walk out the door.

He said, "You did good, son," in a tight voice as he patted Emmett on the back before disappearing out the door.

"You want to hold him Bells?" Emmett said as he carefully held him out to me.

"Of course," I whispered, not wanting to disturb him. He was so tiny, and I didn't want to hurt him, but I guess I had better get practice while I could.

As I cradled him in my arms, I was in awe of how warm he was. His tiny little face was pink, and dark hair peeked out from underneath a tiny blue cap. He had tiny little hands that were balled up against his chest as his tiny little eyelids fluttered. His lashes were so long, and I had to bite back a sob as I looked at this tiny little boy in my arms. He had Emmett's nose, and Rosalie's chin, and his little ears were so adorable.

He wiggled a little bit as I held him there, just staring as Ali stood beside me, energy radiating off of her. After a few moments, his eyelids moved, and my gaze was suddenly met with the bluest little eyes I have ever seen. He was looking at me intently as he yawned, and his tiny little lips puckered up and he whimpered a little bit. I was afraid that I was doing something wrong, and Emmett laughed as I looked up at him with apprehension.

"You're doing fine Bells, they make noises; that's what babies do," he said as he nudged me in the shoulder.

I scowled at him for a moment before I looked back down at my cuter than words nephew. I just couldn't stop looking at him, and I began wondering what my baby would look like.

"Can I hold him now?" Ali whispered as she stroked one of his tiny little hands.

"Um," I said looking up to Rose and Emmett for permission.

Rose nodded lazily while smiling, and Emmett told me as long as we didn't drop him that he didn't mind.

I carefully handed him over to her, making sure to cradle his head, then I stepped back, threw an arm around my brother's waist and hugged his side.

"He's precious Em, he's gonna be a heartbreaker," I said as he grinned and threw his arm around my shoulder.

"Just like his daddy," he said proudly as Rose laughed lightly at her husband's arrogance.

"Just like his daddy," I repeated as I squeezed my brother tightly.

We all just stood there watching Alice lightly swing the baby back and forth and I remembered that we still didn't know his name.

"So did you name him?" I asked as I looked over to Rose.

"Evan Marion Swan," she said as she smiled brightly at us, and then looked longingly over at her son.

Her mother's name was Marianne, so I was sure that was why they gave him that middle name. Her mother had died of cancer before I met her, but Rosalie was surprisingly mature about it. She always spoke of her with love, and I could tell that she was sad that her mother was gone, but she did everything she could to remember her in positive ways. Her father had met Claudia at a grief support group, because her husband had died of colon cancer, so she immediately warmed up to her step-mother and step-brother, because they could understand her situation.

"No Junior?" I said with a smile as I looked up at Em.

"Nope," he said with a pout. "Rosie said that one of me was more than enough."

I laughed and started to say something as the door creaked open and a head of messy curly blonde hair peeked in.

We all looked up, and Rosalie squealed, "Jasper!" as she sat up higher in her bed.

I looked over to Alice, who looked was as white as a ghost, and I quickly walked over to her and motioned to take Evan from her. Her back was still towards the door as he walked in, but when he looked over at her, he froze, and I knew that things were about to get interesting.

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A/N: Hope you all enjoyed the addition of the newest little member of the Swan clan……thank you to edwardisputz for the suggestion of Evan, such a cute little name….:)**

**Yup, you caught me, I couldn't come up with a name for a doctor, so I stole one from Gray's Anatomy, don't hate though, because you all know that Eric Dane is one fine specimen of a man. (and yes I know he is a plastics surgeon on Grays.....in my story he is a hot OBGYN, deal)  
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**I know, I know, we left it with a cliff-hanger, but you all know we love to, so just be patient until next week. You only have to wait until Monday to find out what Alice is going to do.**

**Until further notice, we will be posting chapters switching every chapter instead of every other, it just helps the story flow a little bit better through the next few chapters……also, stay tuned for the surprise POV, it'll be up in two weeks, and for those of you who didn't get the not so subtle hint, the writer doing the POV is Miztrezboo, she will be gracing us with her awesome Aussieness……:).**


	21. Emotional Wrecks and Friendly Tows

**All Things Twilight belong to the amazing Stephenie Meyer . . . but there are certain things . . . . MJP, mine all mine . . . **

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Emotional Wrecks and Friendly Tows**

**APOV**

The atmosphere was so thick in the room; it could have been folded into neat little squares. The obvious tension between Jasper and I, then the surreptitious looks I kept shooting at Bella, made it all the more obvious to everyone else. There was a brief pause as the atmosphere shifted, but soon enough it was only Jasper and I frozen where we were standing.

Luckily, Bella had taken the beautiful baby boy from my arms because I was shaking almost uncontrollably. How could I have honestly thought I could do this without any repercussions? I could sense how tensely he was standing just inside the door. My stomach flipped as I felt his eyes on the back of my head.

The immediate pull to him was also there, eating me alive as it conflicted with everything that was going on. Damn body, damn heart, damn mind . . . what the hell was I thinking?

Rosalie's eyes were thankfully on the baby that Bella was handing her, but there was still that atmosphere, it bounced around the room. The discomfort on both Emmett and Bella's faces were obvious.

"Are you going to come say hi to your nephew or just stand at the door staring at my friend?" Rosalie asked with a smirk.

"Need a camera there Jazz?" Emmett chuckled breaking the heady atmosphere.

I heard Jasper's easy laugh as he moved his attention to his sister. I took a stuttered breath and watched him cross the room. His eyes didn't come anywhere near me . . . I was fucked. It was like my entire world came to a jolting halt and the actuality of the situation kicked my skinny ass into oblivion. I should have called him; I should have done _something_. I am such an idiot.

I was surprised at how quickly the hollow empty feeling filled me and I felt like a deer trapped in the headlights. My head thumped in perfect synchronization with my heart, as tears welled slowly, stinging my eyes and burning my throat. I looked to Bella hoping with everything I had that she would see the panic that was eating away at me. I needed out and I needed her to say something to get me out of here.

My legs felt weak, my head felt funky, and the sleeplessness made me feel dirty and gritty. I should have changed. Here I was in the cocktail dress I was kissing him in last night and I knew I must be a complete mess in comparison, and I knew he was coming; I should have done something. Full panic mode crawled under my skin, as I still stood frozen to the spot.

_Someone fucking say __**something**_, my head screamed as my eyes darted around the small grouping. At least there was some luck, Emmett was preoccupied with his son and hadn't noticed me or the wild look I knew was in my eyes.

"We're gonna go grab some coffee," Bella asked rather than stated, but it didn't really matter, it got me the hell out of this tiny ass room that was suffocating me. Now I just had to remember how to move.

"Okay, we'll be here," Rosalie laughed; I could see Jasper's fingers stroking the tiny baby arm that had snuck out of the blanket. His gentle touch mesmerized me, but I kept willing myself towards the door. Desperate for the escape it would afford me.

Bella pulled it open and nodded at me and the rush of fresh air hit me quickly. I almost ran to the sanctuary that was the empty hall. I waited patiently as she followed me out, I needed a minute alone and I hoped she wouldn't be offended that I was about to make a quick exit to the bathroom so I could cry without an audience.

The sleep deprivation that was wrapped around me like a thick fog wasn't helping the situation at all. I knew I was blowing this completely out of proportion because my emotions were running rampant. It was over thirty something hours since I slept last. Maybe a splash of water and a deep breath would help. Was it possible to drown oneself in the sink?

"Ali?" Bella's voice pulled me away from my last ludicrous thought. "You okay?"

She was concerned, I could see that in way she was assessing me, almost as though she was waiting for me to break down and crumble to the ground in a large D&G heap. She wasn't that far off base, but I hoped after I gathered myself together a little, the outcome wouldn't be so desperate.

"I'll meet you in the waiting room Bells, I'm just going to get cleaned up a little. I'm fine I promise."

Bella smiled sympathetically, I could feel her eyes on me as I walked as quickly as I could down the hall to where I knew the bathrooms were located. Now was not the time for a confrontation, I couldn't think, I was tired and emotional, no good was going to come out of this. I was beginning to feel like a breakdown would be more likely at this juncture and that scared me. I was so invested in this, maybe too much . . . great, now I was second-guessing myself . . . idiot.

I pushed the door open and stepped into the cool sterile smelling room. I let my hands fall on the counter that held the sinks and I let my head fall to my chest in defeat. _Great Plan, Alice, wait till he gets here and shock him, then run and cry because you're so tired you can't see straight._

I knew I needed to talk to him soon, but with the ball of emotions I was carrying around, I knew it wouldn't be productive or helpful in any way, shape or form. I would make myself look like an idiot, because the one thing I wanted to say to him, I couldn't.

I stamped my feet childishly as my fists tensed up again. Every part of me ached as I fought the urge to scream in frustration. It was so melodramatic it was almost funny. My jaw tensed and clenched as I tried to take deep breaths, letting my eyes focus on my reflection. I giggled once, but it turned into fits, which gave way to full hysterics. Then the tears came, I couldn't control myself.

I straightened out my arms and let my head focus on the tile of the floor as I dragged in as much oxygen as I could; I was being ridiculous. I had to push through the sleepiness and just do what I had to do. _No more of this, 'I can't do it' bullshit._

I splashed some cool water on my face and laughed at my reflection. My cocktail dress from Friday night looked like paper that had been screwed up into a ball and straightened out again, my hair was now a disorganized field of unruly spikes, and my make - up . . . Cruella would have been proud, the panda circles were looking fabulous, maybe I could make a new fashion statement.

I fixed what I could with the tools I had and took a deep breath. My reflection seemed to taunt me as it stared back with amusement. Yes, I was _that_ tired. Still, I knew I couldn't hide out in the bathroom forever; it was unsanitary for one, and immature for the next. With a deep breath . . . and a little more inner dialogue, I straightened out to my full height and picked up my clutch, I took one last look at myself before heading to the door.

I made my way back to the waiting room and fell into a seat opposite where Bella was asleep on Jacob, her head on his shoulder as his eyes drooped heavily. Jacob smiled and patted the seat next to him; I slid into the chair next to him and let my head rest on his arm.

"You okay?" Jacob whispered, Bella mumbled from his other arm and I smiled. Whispering was never Jacob's forte.

"Super tired," I admitted, patting the arm I was resting on.

"Mmm, Edward," Bella's sleep induced mumble made us both giggle silently.

"Where is everyone?"

"Claudia and Roger went home, and I think Charlie and Emmett went to get something to eat."

A large yawn escaped me and I covered my mouth as my whole body reacted to the movement. Exhausted was a luxury compared to what I was feeling at the moment.

Jacob chuckled, his whole body shook under my head, and I slapped him lightly on the shoulder. At this rate, he was going to wake up Bella. Every part of my body ached as I sat resting against Jacob's warm body; my eyelids grew heavier with every blink as I let my body relax.

My mind had shut down a while ago; so thinking hadn't even been an option, let alone obsessing about things that couldn't be helped, so I let my eyes rest. The darkness of sleep was like a warm blanket that pulled on my subconscious, I was still trying to fight it, even with my eyes closed.

I jumped as my body rebelled against my own mind, I was on the brink of falling asleep and I knew it, I had two choices, let myself fall or get up and move around. I groaned thinking about moving. There was a reason I wanted to stay awake and his face was painting a beautiful picture on the back of my eyelids.

I hoped he would come and talk to me instead of walking away. I yawned again and let my hand cover my mouth before letting it slide lazily into my lap. I had to stay awake; I opened my eyes and looked up at Jacob who was watching me curiously.

"Just go to sleep, Alice. You'll be fine; I'll wake you up if anything interesting happens."

"These chairs will kill my back, Jake." I sighed, sitting up and stretching my neck from side to side as my head spun a little. Well, if I had any question to whether I was still able to function after an all-nighter I had my answer, which was most definitely a no. "I am too old for this shit."

Jake barked out a laugh that jolted Bella out of her sleep, her eyes fluttered a little before focusing on me. "Hey, everything alright?" she mumbled her eyes sliding closed again.

"Yeah, just starting to hurt a little from lack of sleep."

"Mmm, me too," she mumbled, her body relaxing again.

As my blinks became heavy and more frequent, my body relaxed around me, once again betraying what my mind was telling it to do. Everything tingled as it willed my mind to give up. Finally, I relented and fell into the darkened abyss.

***

Jacob's warm hand rubbing up and down my arm pulled me out of the peaceful slumber that had pulled me down. I groaned quietly and found the will to move my body. I slapped at his hand.

"Cut it out, Jake."

"Alice."

My eyes flew open as the all too familiar voice filled my semi conscious mind. Familiar, but still new, his face flashed across my brain before my eyes could focus and I almost fell out of the chair. For the first time, I could feel how tense Jacob's arm was below my head and the guilt washed over me again, just as my eyes came into focus.

He wasn't smiling. My heart sank deep into the confines of my stomach as I blinked in the bright light of what I assumed was the morning sun. My head turned a little to look up at Jacob; he looked so torn.

"Jasper, have you met Jacob?" I asked timidly, I still couldn't find my strong voice. Jacob sighed next to me, I could hear the slight strain of his breath but I couldn't focus on that.

"Yeah, we've been sitting here for a while," Jasper said softly.

_Oh Fuck! Please, please don't do this to me._ My eyes moved over to Bella, she was awake but still cuddled into Jacob, and was now holding his hand squeezing it gently. That gave me the small piece of relief I was looking for, maybe I had been the only one to sleep through his entrance.

I still felt so completely confused, from lack of sleep, for what to say, for how to do this, and I knew I hadn't slept all that long. My head was starting to throb as my body protested the movement I was trying to encourage it to make.

"Have you met my best friend Bella?" I added; trying to force a smile.

"I kissed a girl?" Jasper said, eyebrows raised.

"That's me," Bella rolled her eyes and grinned at me once before motioning to Jasper by tilting her head. Jacob chuckled and nudged me gently with his arm. This wasn't awkward, my friend, with ex-benefits was making subtle hints too.

"I think we need to talk," Jasper said quietly.

My blood turned cold in my veins as I nodded. It was pathetic how afraid I was, but I refused to let it incapacitate me. I gave Bella a 'what the fuck do I do' look before sliding out of my chair to follow him. She widened her eyes and nodded at him, but smiled when he turned to look at them.

"If I don't see you before I leave, it was nice seeing you again, Bella, and it was nice meeting you Jacob."

Both of my friends smiled at me with encouragement, I could see that Jacob was trying to hide everything he wasn't saying, I just hoped he would be alright and get over it all, I also hoped Bella was right, and that he wasn't in love with me, just the idea of me.

I took a deep breath as I stepped out of my comfort zone and followed Jasper down the hall. He was looking through the small windows of the rooms as he passed by. I couldn't help like feeling as though I were a homeless puppy following him around as he moved agilely down the corridors. My heart was elated at his closeness, and crushed about what had to happen next. My mind blanked as I tried to think of what to say to him.

I was stuck and I knew it, I had to throw caution to the wind and let the chips fall where they might. It was my only option at this point. I was dragging my feet behind him; the lethargy was still weighing me down as we moved. How ever long I had been asleep just seemed to have made it worse.

"Jasper." My voice was still quiet and hesitant, but he spun quickly to look at me. I couldn't read his expression, but I knew I wanted to learn it. "Where are we going?"

"I think we need some privacy."

"Mmm," I hummed, and forced my feet to move again. Any longer, I would be crawling.

His eyebrow perked up a little, as he seemed to really look at me for the first time. "When was the last time you slept, Alice?"

"What day is it?"

Jasper shook his head before walking back towards me, his long toned legs carrying him quickly in my direction. He wrapped his warm arm around my waist and started forward again. I sighed, I couldn't help myself, I'm sure he thought it was my hesitance at walking, but it was his touch. It sparked something in me, making me a little more aware . . . of him at least.

I let Jasper guide me down the hall a little bit further, he finally stopped outside a door and checked the small white board hanging outside, and it was blank, so I imagined it was an empty room. My stomach turned uneasily, knowing that the talk was getting closer by the second. What the hell was I supposed to say to him?

Jasper pushed the door open and I heard it swing shut behind us, clicking closed as he guided me towards one of the beds. In one swift movement, he picked me up and sat me on it before stepping away and pacing a little.

I stayed silent, watching the movements of his body as he strolled from one end to the other. My heart was hammering against my ribs, echoing in my ears as the fear once again rushed through my body.

Jasper's body was creating a draft as he paced, I sat still and shivered, still just watching; waiting for something to happen. It took at least another five minutes for anything at all to happen. Finally, he stopped and spun so he was facing me.

"That was really awkward, Alice." He stopped again, almost as though he was thinking about the words before saying them. "You know my situation with Maria . . ."

"Jasper," My voice rang out with strength I wasn't I aware I possessed in this moment. He looked at me, waiting for me to speak. His blue eyes tore into me with such an intensity I knew I had to fix this. Still, I wasn't willing to be compared with that harlot though.

The heavy silence between us hung like a curtain in the room. It was uncomfortable and seemed to make my heart pound even harder.

"It wasn't something intentional, it just never came up." _That's it? That was my best defense? _Fatigue really didn't help me with the whole thinking thing.

"Never came up?" Jasper's voice was finally showing a hint of anger in it. I took a deep breath, my shoulders lifted with the intake of breath before falling with the exhale.

He started pacing again, this time his heels pounded into the ground with every step; he was walking out his anger. Selfishly, I stored that away in my mind for future reference. I didn't really want to learn that about him this early on, but somehow, I was glad I would know beforehand.

I let him work out his temper a little. I still had no idea what to say to him, and I didn't know if he was going say anything. The tension was tangible; I pulled my legs under me and watched him move back and forth. Then he stopped, but he never looked at me.

"I want you to answer one question, and I need you to answer it with something other than _it never came up_." His voice was heavy and rough. He had my full attention and he knew it so his voice was level and quiet.

"Okay," I whispered, trying to fight the ridiculous trembling of my bottom lip. Now was not the time for the emotional downpour that I had been battling all day.

"Why didn't you tell me you knew my sister? I mean, you're one of her best friends, I would have thought that would have been one of the first things you told me. Yet you never said a word, why?"

I looked down at my hands, they were wringing in my lap, My eyes stung with the tears that threatened to spill over, I didn't want him to see that and pity me. I was stronger than that, but he'd caught me in a vulnerable moment. I was tired and overly emotional. That hardly ever happened to me. Only he had that effect on me.

"The truth?" I asked, because I had the truth, I just wasn't sure he wanted to hear it.

"Yes, that's all I want." I could hear the hardened edge of his voice and it almost broke me. I bit back the sob that threatened to make an appearance. Stupid emotions, this would be so much easier if I was working with a full nights sleep.

"Do you remember what you told me the second night we talked on the phone, the night you arrived in New York?"

I saw his feet turn, which meant he was facing me. I would have looked up at him, but my stupid eyes were full of unshed tears; the water was pooled on my bottom lid trembling and threatening to spill over.

"We talked about a lot of things, Alice." His voice was softer now.

"You said that it was easier to talk to someone outside of the situation, that you felt as though you could talk to me because I wasn't involved in all of this mess."

I heard him sigh; it was exasperated.

"Alice, you've known my sister for how long?"

"Almost seven years, but I found out you were her brother the day of the baby shower. You see I met your mom, she was a Whitlock, and so I asked."

"What about the final day of the shoot?"

_Fuck! _I really didn't want to tell him this, it was still such a private memory for me, it was the day I had known I had fallen in love with him, the day I told Jacob I couldn't be with him. I couldn't say that, but I did have a version of the truth, I could extract part of the feelings that day and tell him.

"Alice," His voice was softer still and he took a step forward, I still couldn't look at him. The tears were still pooling heavily in my eyes. It was only a matter of time before they spilled over. I twisted my hands again, but that had been a mistake, the movement dislodged the big fat balls of salty water from my eyes, and they fell onto my lap, darkening the fabric of my dress.

Jasper took another step forward, his hand lifted and his long soft fingers cradled my chin, lifting my face up so he could see my eyes. I fell into the pools of his eyes, falling even more in love with him. It was so effortless to love him.

"Are you crying?"

I sniffled and trying to drag my eyes from his so I could look down in my lap, I was mortified and embarrassed. I hated feeling like this. I couldn't even explain it myself without saying too much.

Jasper crouched in front of me so he could hold my gaze. He looked so confused. I sniffled quietly and tried to wipe my eyes, but his thumbs beat me to it, their gentle strokes swept away the wetness with a tenderness I hadn't expected.

"Alice, talk to me, I never intended to make you cry."

"I'm over tired and completely emotional, I'm sorry," I sobbed, dragging in deep breaths.

Way to impress a guy Alice, just blubber all over him. I felt pathetic, truly, but there was still a level of comfort with him I had never experienced before.

"Alice, listen to me," Jasper climbed up on the bed beside me, I still had my legs folded under me, so he twisted my body around to face him. He had one foot on the floor and the other one folded up in front of him. "I like you . . . that sounds wrong somehow, but I hope you know what I mean . . . I'm just trying to understand here."

I sighed again and really tried to get a grip this time, I had never been this emotional in my life . . . well, at least not in front of anyone other than Bella. I was in unchartered waters and I didn't know what to do.

"The last day of the shoot was the day I realized that . . . that I wanted to be more than friends, that I wanted you, but I swallowed my pride and decided that if you were only in my life as a friend; then I could accept that. I just wanted you in my life. You have to understand; I thought you were in love with Maria. Telling you I knew your sister was the last thing on my mind at the time."

That was perhaps a little too much honesty. I slammed my eyes shut and kept them closed, waiting for him to leave, to tell me how stupid I was, or to shout about how I had ruined his relationship.

None of it happened. He sat patiently waiting for me to continue, a small curious smile on his lips, the perfect edges of his mouth were curled upward, hardly enough to notice; but I did. I decided to continue.

"Then that first night on the phone, when I was in the bath . . ."

Jasper smiled his perfect smile distracting me completely. I found myself welling up again as his smile turned into a laugh, this time my bottom lip freely trembled. His smile faltered as soon as he saw my expression. His hands cupped my cheeks and he brought his face down to my level.

"Why are you crying, sweetheart?"

"I," I drug in a breath and tried again, "Idon'tknow," it came out as one word as I bawled them. Jasper pulled me forward until I was on my knees. My head was buried in the crook of his neck. I was so confused, but the warmth and comfort of his arms wrapping tightly around me made me feel calmer somehow.

Shit, I was a mess.

When I finally caught my breath and got my emotions under control, I rolled back until I was leaning on my feet. My hands were on his shoulders as I searched his eyes for answers to the hundreds of question I wanted to ask him.

"Why were you laughing?" I was still sniffling a little, but a bit more under control of my emotions.

His warm smile came back again, making my heart flutter wildly in my chest. Had I been worried about nothing? I mean sure he'd been pissed, and I hated to think my crying had been what had softened his resolve, but still, that hug was like home. My breathing evened out as I watched him collect his thoughts. He was even better looking this close up in the daylight.

"That first night on the phone sealed the deal for me," he said quietly, quickly drawing me out of my minds idle speculation. "I knew I couldn't stay with Maria, I just had to find a way to get out. I knew the last day of the shoot that I liked you more than I should. Maria saw it too and tried to be more like the person I had fallen in love with, but we both knew she was too late, we just couldn't admit it."

His intense blue eyes were alight and there was no way in hell I could ever doubt the sincerity of his words. It was almost too good to be true, and for a fleeting second I considered the fact that perhaps I was hallucinating. I squeezed my eyes closed and opened them again quickly, still there.

"Why didn't you tell me when you found out Rosalie was in labor?"

Now it was my turn to laugh, I reached out and brushed a strand of hair from his face, before settling back onto my feet again.

"You do realize how distracted I was by you and that kiss, don't you?" I asked, feeling almost idiotic for saying it aloud.

Jasper smirked and raised one eyebrow, the leg that was tucked up in front of him straightened out on top of the bed and he shifted himself forward until I was kneeling between his thighs. His finger brushed lightly along my collarbone as his eyes held me captivated. I shivered a little at his touch; he still gave me those tingles.

"I distracted you?" he asked, his eyes now taking on a playful glint.

"You have no idea," I sighed breathlessly, wanting more than anything to lean in and kiss him. There were still things to be said though.

"Just promise that's the only thing I will ever have to find out without you telling me," He groaned, licking his bottom lip and staring at my neck with hungry eyes.

_Fucking great._ May as well get everything out on the open then, I really didn't want the thing with Jacob to pop up out of the blue one day and ruin all of this, and as electric as his touch was, I knew I had to get this out of the way. If it disturbed him, maybe it was better to lose him now rather than later.

"Then I should probably get everything out in the open now," I sighed, annoyed with myself.

Jasper smiled, "Hit me with it."

"Jacob, the guy you met in the waiting room. He's been one of my best friends almost as long as Rosalie has, we . . . well, we were both lonely for a long time, and we . . . well…."

Jasper nodded his head with a slight wince. "No need to go any further, I get where you're going with this. As long as there's nothing between the two of you now, or in the future if this works out, it doesn't matter."

"There isn't, he wants me to be happy and we came to a mutual agreement that friendship was better than what we were doing. I should also tell you that you and Bella are the only ones who know," I sighed. "Of course, you know about the douche bag ex that comes into town occasionally, but I am more likely to kick him in the nuts than have a conversation with him."

Jasper laughed genuinely, his eyes sparkling. "I think that I might enjoy getting to know you better Alice."

I grinned, "Anything you'd like to get off your chest?"

"My ex was a whore and a bitch, she was manipulative in every way possible, but she's in the past and that's where I'd like to leave her."

I smiled stupidly again; my emotions were still all over the place, peaking and dipping, driving me insane and making his lips look so delectable. Then the yawn of yawns decided to make an appearance.

"You look worse for wear, are you sure you've only been up for twenty something hours?"

I didn't sleep all that well during the week, but I wasn't going to explain why to him. That would just be weird. My eyes drooped a little as I looked at him again. Stupid fatigue.

"I'm fine," I sighed, smiling lazily at him.

Jasper pulled me into his arms in one fluid motion and fell back onto the bed. The metal from all of the gadgets groaned as his back hit the thin mattress. He sorted himself out quickly before tucking me under his arms and holding me to him.

"What are we doing?"

"You are getting some sleep. I slept on the plane, so I will keep an eye out for someone coming in here."

I freed one of my hands slowly, the anticipation bubbling inside of me as I took the initiative. I cupped his face lightly with my hand and tipped his face until he was looking at me again. His eyes, were crystal clear, the blue was hypnotizing. I pushed forward and let my lips press against his slowly.

He hummed gently under his breath as I pressed a little harder. He rolled onto his side, cradling me in his arms as his tongue brushed against my lips. I opened my mouth to allow him access as my head spun quickly.

The magnetism, the magic, all of it came flooding back from the kiss at the bar. He pressed into me; his hands cupped my neck holding me to him as his tongue danced with mine.

Happily being trapped under his body, my hands wrapped around the only thing I could grab. His shirt stretched as I tugged on it gently, pulling him closer to me. I couldn't get enough of him. His silk lips, his light touches. It was as if I had always needed him. I felt whole, complete, and pathetically content all in the same moment.

One of his hands moved down over my shoulder, his fingers trailed in a burning line as they followed his soft palm. He continued over my shoulder and down my arm, his fingers exploring the skin as they moved.

Every part of my body was aware of him in that moment, my mind, even as tired as it was, could only follow what he was doing and where he was touching me. Every small connection our bodies made seemed to amplify the sensuality of the moment.

We were both fully dressed; barely touching one another, yet it was one of the single most erotic moments of my life. My stomach exploded into a flurry of anticipation as his hand finally reached my own, I had no idea what he was doing or where he was going, I just knew I wanted to find out.

His fingers traced intricate patterns on my palm as his hungry lips worked with mine; creating the most significant connection I had ever shared with anyone. Even in sex, I had never had a connection like this before.

As I moaned gently into his mouth, Jasper's lips curved into a satisfied smile. It seemed he had noticed the thing between us was still there just as much as I had. He pulled away slowly, I hated losing his lips against mine, and I already missed the electrical buzz I felt from each connection I had with him.

"That's all you're getting until you sleep," he grinned playfully. He traced a path from my eyes, down the ridge of my nose to my lips. "I don't think I can handle any more tears from you today."

"Yeah, sorry about that," I yawned, cuddling into his chest, letting my head rest on the strong arm that was laying under my head.

"You're tired, I pushed, it's excusable," he chuckled again.

I smiled and just looked at him, my eyes washing over his facial features drinking them in as though it were a vital life source. My blinks got heavier and heavier, but I always opened them again, greeted by the luminous blue of his. He watched me falling into the heavy blanket of sleep with a small warm smile on his lips.

If I'd of had the energy, I would have kissed him again, but every inch of my body felt as though it weighed more than it possibly could. I again cursed this sleep deprivation and the inconvenience of it all. It was the last piece of persuasion I needed to finally let go and let the heavy weight of the darkness close over me. I fell easily, knowing that when I woke up, he would be there.

***

I woke up stiff and achy, knowing instantly that the bed below me wasn't my own. Then I felt the movement beside me and it all came flooding back, my head was finally cleared and I couldn't stop the smile breaking over my lips, even before I had opened my eyes.

His fingers traced light patterns down the side of my face sending shivers down my spine as I sucked in shaky breaths. I was trembling, but it was the excitement of what had transpired before I had fallen asleep. I was terribly emotional but in that state I had been able to say what I never would have if I had been lucid.

He knew how I felt about him, and I knew that, somehow, he seemed to feel the same thing, that was all I needed.

My eyes fluttered open; they were met once again, by the blue of his. Was it selfish to want to always wake up like this? If it was, then label me selfish, because it's what I wanted.

"Welcome back," He grinned, leaning forward to kiss the tip of my nose. "How did you sleep?"

"The bed wasn't great, but the company was," I smiled, I liked this new honesty thing we had going. It gave me a sense of freedom.

He chuckled lightly, tightening his arms around me and pulling me into his chest again. The light in the room was considerably brighter than it had been before I had fallen asleep and I wondered how long I had been out.

"What time is it?" I asked, pointing my toes and stretching out my calf muscles.

He shifted a little, obviously looking behind him to read the clock that sat on the wall by the door. "Three fifteen."

"Holy crap, Bella." I had left her alone in the waiting room with Jacob and I had never intended to be gone for so long. The guilt tinged at the edges as I looked over at Jasper. There was an amused smile on his lips.

"What?" I whispered, feeling suddenly self-conscious.

"Well, if I didn't know Bella was happily married, coupled along with the ring tone, I might be a little worried," he laughed.

I rolled my eyes playfully before touching my lips to his adam's apple that bobbed as he swallowed. "Edward's working and I left her alone all this time, I feel bad."

Jasper rolled and stretched, his long legs sliding of the bed as he rose to his full height. I immediately felt the loss of his body heat and presence, but I appreciated his gesture. He stretched, his arms reaching high above him. As they came back down, he held out his hand to me.

"Come on then, I'll walk you to the waiting room, I think I owe Rose an explanation anyway."

I nodded and placed my hand in his, immediately feeling the content that accompanied his touch. He pulled me off the bed and into his chest; his arms wrapped around my waist and held me tightly. I let my head rest on his chest as my hands came to rest on his back, my fingers fanning out, feeling as much of him as I possibly could.

He pulled back and took my hand in his, intertwining our fingers before heading for the door. He pulled it open and stepped out into the hall. A nurse walked by, a little surprised by our appearance from the room. Her eyes flickered to the board and back to us before she tutted and walked away with a quickened pace.

Jasper and I laughed as we made our way down the hall back towards the waiting room. He stopped just outside, embracing me again and gently brushing his lips against mine again.

"I'll come and find you later, maybe we can have dinner tonight?"

"I'd like that." The thought of a regular date with him made my stomach flip with excitement. A date, something normal rather than the irregularity that had been our interactions up until now.

"Good." He kissed me once more before stalking off in the direction of Rosalie's room. My heart was a pounding mess in my chest and I was literally giddy. I couldn't wait to tell Bella how things had worked out.

I took a deep breath and breezed through the waiting room door, only to be struck by an incapacitating fear. Bella, white as a sheet, eyes wide with terror looked up at me, just before her broken voice reached me. _What the hell was going on?_

**

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A/N: Alice was a little sleep deprived, hence the all over the place emotions :) . . . Up next, Miss ****goldentemptress and her chapter, my lips are sealed :) . . . and Next week our guest author, Miztrezboo, and her amazing chapter . . .**

**So much secrecy, lol . . . **

**If you haven't heard . . . Goldentemptress, miztrezboo, bemylullaby, Kyla713 and Myself, are holding the Forbidden Love Affair contest on goldentemptress' profile. The rules are posted on each of the hosts profiles, so feel free to submit . . . goldentemptress has already posted her piece and it's AMAZING, Room 2226, seriously, I implore you to read . . .don't forget to subscribe to the C2 for the contest so you can get updates when new one-shots are added......link on our profiles......  
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**Thank you for the alerts and faves, and thank you to the amazing reviewers who always stun us with their encouraging words. You guys are truly awesome and YOU ROCK!**

**Till Monday - Much love, big hugz - L-**


	22. Monitors and Hall Passes

**Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight, but do own Suiteward…..go check him out, he's currently 'occupied' in Suite 2226……;)**

(Warning: Tissues may be needed)

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Monitors and Hall Passes**

**BPOV**

As I sat curled up in the uncomfortable waiting room chair, with my knees pulled up to my chest; I wished that I could just go home and curl up in my bed. I felt absolutely horrid, and I was sure that I was a smelly, greasy mess.

It was just after ten forty-five in the morning, and I had officially been awake for far too long. I was glad that I thought to buy those extra granola bars in the cafeteria, because if I hadn't I would have made many more trips to the bathroom besides just the one I did when Alice went off with Jasper.

Thankfully, my father had gone to the cafeteria with Emmett, and Jacob had opted to go home, not wanting to get in the way of the whole Jasper, Alice confrontation. No one was there to witness my mad dash down the hallway to revisit my strawberry yogurt, which, by the way, tastes nothing like strawberries the second time around. I shuddered just thinking about it.

_Note to self: Do not mix dairy products and morning sickness…….repeat, do not mix!_

Over the past few weeks, I guess I had not eaten any during the morning, preferring my cheerios with no or very little milk, but yeah, big mistake, just thinking about it made my stomach hurt again.

I had tried going to sleep, one of the nurses had even brought me a blanket, Emmett offered up the recliner in Rose's room, but I was stupid, so I refused it, and now I was beyond tired, having horrible stomach pain, and wishing that being pregnant didn't suck so much during the first trimester.

Looking around the little family waiting room that I was in, I sighed as I realized that I was alone in here. Roger and Claudia had gone home to sleep, lucky bastards, and everyone else had abandoned me. There wasn't even anything I could do to entertain myself, because the nurses had hidden the remote and I was being forced to watch soap operas. They weren't really all that bad, per se, I just had no idea what was going on, so I was more confused than entertained.

I guess if I really wanted to, I could go keep Rose company; but she had been trying to learn how to breast feed the last time I looked in there, and I saw way more of her than I ever wanted to. Although, if I ever decided to swing the other way, since I was her assumed life partner and all, Rosalie was built quite nicely. I could see why Emmett loved her so much.

Groaning loudly in the empty room, I pulled the blanket up over my head and attempted to close my eyes. If I could just get a little bit of sleep, I would be fine. I couldn't crack. Sleep deprived Bella was worse than drunk Bella, she would tell you anything you wanted to know because her inner filter was completely gone. Over twenty-four hours without sleep was better than any fruity drink that could be pumped into me.

After ten minutes, I sighed and uncovered my head, and was greeted with smirks coming from a younger couple sitting in the corner of the room. Apparently, I provided them with entertainment with my sighs and grumblings as I tried in vain to get comfortable in this godforsaken plastic chair.

Who designed these things? They were horrible, they made your ass fall asleep and they didn't provide any back support. Did the hospital use these to try to drum up more business? Figure they could keep the orthopedic surgeon busy if they gave people lower back problems.

The couple was still giving me incredulous looks as I shifted around in my chair, trying to get comfortable so I could at least rest. The position I was in was making me hurt everywhere, and the suit that I was still wearing was not quite so comfortable anymore.

I fought off the childish urge to stick my tongue out at them, and trudged across the hallway to the bathroom.

My back was killing me from being stuck in that stupid chair, and I felt the urge to pee for like the twelfth time since I had been at the hospital, stupid hormones.

I sighed loudly as I finished up, because the pressure on my bladder must have been what was making me feel so uncomfortable lately. I ran my hand over the smooth skin under my camisole and began to wonder what I would look like when I started showing.

Thank god I was petite, I would hate to be one of those women who just looked fat when they were pregnant. God, how big would I get? What if I got screwed and had a giant baby like my brother. I didn't want to push one of those out. I still don't understand why Rose isn't more pissed at him for that, that had to hurt, a lot.

Shaking off my constant pregnancy thoughts, I walked over to the counter and washed my hands. My cheeks were flushed pink, and I was confused because I was normally so pale. I ran a hand over my forehead and I felt a little warm, but I tried not to dwell on it, I could be flushed for any number of reasons. Sleep deprivation did funny things to people, and I was definitely susceptible to that.

When I got back to the door of the waiting room, I decided that I really didn't want to go back in there by myself, Emmett and Charlie had to still be downstairs in the cafeteria, so I decided that I might as well go join them. From the look on Jasper's face when he came in to ask to talk to Alice, I figured that they would take awhile….if they weren't off in a broom closet having angry sex right now.

Slowly but surely, I made my way down to the elevator bank and pressed the button, willing it to come faster because I was hungry again. At least from the discomfort I was feeling and the gurgling I was experiencing that I was hungry again, at this point, I wasn't exactly sure which way was up. I was so tired.

When the elevator opened, I stepped aside for the car to empty, and smiled when I saw the familiar congratulations balloons and the flower arrangements in pink. Having babies was big business, I was sure that the gift shop made quite a bank selling little stuffed animals in various pastel colors.

I thought back to the previous day and the time I had spent in the baby boutique, looking at all that gorgeous nursery furniture. I wondered what type of nursery Edward would want to have. Something timeless, jungle themed, sports, princesses, obviously not sailboats because Evan had cornered that market, but still, what would it look like. Would he be happy about it?

As the car descended, I imagined myself months from now, wearing a striking turquoise maternity sweater dress, standing in the doorway of the nursery while Emmett and Edward fought over which paint roller was better. The cans of yellow paint propped open on top of the tarp covered dresser, and the little stuffed animals all piled into a box in the hallway, Bailey just itching to try to steal one so she could take it out in the backyard and rip it to shreds.

The look on Edward's face when he noticed that I was watching them, how excited he would get when he noticed how the dress framed my growing bump, the bump that held our child. How the next week we would be able to go to the doctor and find out what we were having. I dreamed about the fight that we would have had the week before with me winning out and deciding that we did need to know the sex of the baby.

I imagined sitting Indian style on the floor, resting my hands on my stomach while little Evan tried to pull himself up to crawl. My nephews growing curls and deep blue eyes, how much he would love to have someone to play with. How he was such a sweet and loving baby, and it made me hopeful that I could handle the baby that would be coming very soon.

As the elevator doors spread open, I pushed myself off the wall and smiled as I made my way down to the cafeteria doors. I was hopeful about this, I was just itching to tell someone about this, and I was going to force Edward to talk to me, no interruptions, when he finished his shift. I didn't care if I had to drag him into the on-call room and pin him to the bed. He was going to listen, and he had better like it, because I was having this baby whether he liked it or not, and he had better get on board real quick.

When I opened up the doors to the cafeteria, my stomach growled as I took in the smells, they weren't exactly reminiscent of gourmet food, but still, I was hungry and I didn't care either way.

I nodded as I walked by Emmett's table where he was actually making my father laugh about something. It really was too bad that we didn't see dad more than we did, Emmett had really turned into quite the guy since we were little. He was funny and compassionate, and I was sure he was going to make a fantastic father. I only hoped that he would rub off on Edward. He was too serious sometimes, and I hoped that fatherhood would finally make him let his guard down.

Grabbing a few muffins and a glass of orange juice, I headed towards the cashier, who was luckily different from the other two times I had gotten food since I had been here. Not that it mattered, I was sure that they probably saw hundreds of people here in the course of a day. What a weird existence.

When I rejoined my brother and my father, they were both smirking at me as I plopped down into the seat, and began to pick off chunks of a blueberry muffin.

"You look like shit Bells," Emmett said with a twinkle in his eye.

_Never one for padding the truth, were ya bro?_

"Thanks Em," I said, my voice laced with sarcasm. "At least I still look better than you."

He put his hands up in mock disgust and ran his palms down the front of his wrinkled dress shirt. I guess they had made him change back into his regular clothes after he left the delivery room.

"You only wished you looked this good," he said with a wink as he continued to fondle himself.

Before I could attempt to come up with a witty comeback, my dad interceded, as usual.

"So Bells, how is work going?"

"It's good, really good, it's been hard getting use to deadlines and such, but I really enjoy it. I am actually up for a promotion right now," I said with a hint of pride in my voice, I knew that Em would be mad that I made Rose promise not to tell him, but this was something I could tell them about, so I would happily share it with them.

"Wow, Bella, that's great, what kind of promotion?"

Emmett raised his eyebrows at me, as if to say '_and you were going to tell me this when?'_

And I responded with an equally disdainful look that said '_I'm telling you now aren't I?'_

"Well, right now the article I work on in just a basic book reviews piece that appears in each issue. Most of my reviews are unbiased and showcase the good and bad points of a book that we have chosen. They want to make it into a column of sorts and I will write solely my opinions on the books as well as critique other people's views on my choices. They have also been talking about expanding it to some of their other publications besides just Couture."

Charlie gave me a proud smile and patted my hand as Emmett clapped loudly in front of us, making me blush profusely.

"That's great," Charlie muttered as he squeezed my hand. My father was proud of me; it was so cute.

"Wow Bells, I always knew the book nerd in you had some serious potential bank in it. And with that sarcasm of yours, you should be golden."

I laughed at my brother's double-sided compliment and said, "Thanks Em, I'm glad your influence on my personality became a good investment."

"You know me Bells, it's all about the Benjamins," he said as my father and I shook our heads at his behavior. Emmett really was smart, but the social retard in him came out more often than not and negated it all together.

"Have either of you heard anything from mom?" I asked, I had long since abandoned my cell phone, I think it might still be in the waiting room, or wait, nope, its in my pocket…..but its dead, figures.

"Yeah, she said she tried to call you, her plane gets in sometime in the next few hours. She left Phil at home though, so it's just her this time," Emmett said with a strange emotion passing over his face.

Due to the nature of their custody agreement, and the fact that there were two of us, I wasn't exactly sure that my parents had really seen each other more than the three times when Em and I were there to run interference; my graduation from high school, and then both of our weddings. Whenever we came to visit when we were little, we flew by ourselves, so there was never the awkward handoff.

Up until recently, I think that my dad may still have been in love with my mom, but I couldn't really be sure, Charlie Swan kept his emotions on lockdown, and never let anyone in. I think that may have been part of the problem, my mother didn't have the patience for the strong silent type.

I guess in a way, Edward was somewhat of a strong silent type, but since we had met, he seemed to open up a lot more and interact with people. Only when he was really upset did he put up the walls and push people out. Edward didn't deal well with failure, and therefore, when it happened, he pushed everyone away, including me.

"How is she getting here?" I asked, because I really had no idea how all these people were getting to the hospital, I guess cab drivers were really rolling in it with our family.

"I'm gonna swing by and pick her up, and then drop Emmett off to get their car on the way back," Charlie said, with a little bit of tension in his voice.

At least Emmett would be there to keep them from fighting. My mother knew exactly how to push Charlie's buttons, and today we were all sitting a little worse for wear. The last thing we needed was a perky Renee running around starting pointless arguments.

"I invited her to stay with us," Emmett said, answering my next question. I really didn't want her inviting herself to stay at my house again, the last time Edward didn't come home almost her entire visit because she kept being passive aggressive about us living closer to his parents.

"Oh, good, I'm sure she can help Rose with Evan," I said, knowing that that should keep her entertained. She was good with babies and little kids, just not grown children, they tended to have to be the parent to her, _not that I had any experience with that….._

"Yeah, she's excited to meet the little guy. She was happy he got my hair, she always liked the curls," he mused as Charlie tensed up beside me.

Emmett and I had inherited our father's naturally curly hair, although looking at Charlie when his hair was cut short you wouldn't know it. My mother always use to run her hands through Emmett's hair when he was younger, I guess it reminded her of our father. I think she still had a soft spot for him in her heart as well.

"Well, he is pretty damn cute," I said remembering my nephew's tiny perfect features.

"So what was up with Alice and Jasper? He looked like he wanted to eat her, and not in a good way, when he came into the room up there. I didn't even know that they knew each other," Emmett said as he sat back in his chair, propped his ankle up on his other knee and rested his hands in his lap.

"Um, I'm not really sure," I lied, hoping that Emmett would drop the subject. He never could keep secrets to himself so I am sure that if I told him, it would get back to Rose and she would know that I lied to her.

"Oh, ok, so where are they?" he asked, obviously not taking the hint, he never really was one to notice subtlety

"Um, he wanted to talk to her about something, I think he knows her from work. They went somewhere together."

_Please Em, drop it! _I was screaming in my head. I really didn't want to get into this with him, it wasn't even his business.

"Oh, so are they……ya know," Emmett said with a wink.

"Stop it Em, it's not any of your business," I said with an eyebrow raised.

"Fine Bells; just trying to come up with a little bit of entertainment. Don't get all PMS-y on me."

Yeah, if he only knew that I wouldn't be getting PMS-y for the next eight months or so. Although, I was sure that Emmett would probably be excited if I told him right now, but of course, I couldn't because I had to talk to my absentee husband first.

"You alright Bells?" Charlie asked from beside me, obviously taking in my change in moods.

"I'm good dad, real good," I said resting my hand on my stomach again, underneath the table, so they wouldn't be suspicious. "Just a little tired."

It was true, I really only had gotten maybe a few hours of sleep since I had been here, and most of them were in one of those god awful chairs leaned up against Jacob. My poor, poor pillow, he had retreated home with his tail between his legs. I tried to get him to stay, but he just went in and congratulated Rose, met Evan, and went home. I think it was really hard for him to see Alice moving on so fast. He had even been considerate enough to transfer her suitcase to my car before he left. Jake truly was one of the good guys.

"Maybe I should try to get some rest," I said as I ran the back of one of my hands over my eyes. The lack of sleep was really starting to get to me.

"Well, we need to head to the airport, so go in with Rose, she's asleep, but she won't care if you use the reclining chair. Get some sleep before you make yourself sick," Em said with a concerned look on his face. Well, if he was concerned now, he would have been forcing me into the chair hours ago if he knew I was pregnant.

"Alright," I said sighing and pulling myself up from my chair. I had to hold onto the lip of the table to steady myself as all the blood rushed to my head.

"We'll see you in a few hours Bells," my dad said as he pulled me into a half hug.

"Ok, I'll ride up with you, I'm sure you want to say bye to Rose, Em."

"Um, yeah, good idea," he said as he walked over to me and threw an arm around my waist.

I leaned my head against his shoulder as he led me towards the elevators with our father leading the way.

Once we got upstairs, Charlie took a seat back in the waiting room and Emmett and I made our way back to Rose's room. When we got there, Evan was laying in one of those clear plastic baby carts with a few blankets lying around him, while Rose was sleeping on her side facing his little cart. It really was a cute sight to see her gravitating towards him already.

Emmett walked over to her bedside and smoothed the hair out of her eyes, and tucked it behind her ear. She stirred lightly and whimpered as he leaned down to kiss her on the forehead. He whispered something in her ear and she smiled, opening her eyes briefly and running her hand along his cheek.

After he was done talking to her, she closed her eyes again and went to sleep while Emmett walked over to Evan's cart and kissed him on the cheek and stroked the tiny little cap on his head. I could really tell that Emmett loved his son, even though he was only hours old, and I longed to feel that type of connection with my own child.

When he was done saying goodbye to his son, he came over to me, threw an arm around my shoulders and kissed me on the forehead.

"I love ya Bells, now get some sleep, you'll need it for when mom gets here."

I laughed lightly as he steered me towards the faux leather reclining chair in the corner. He grabbed me by the arms, lowered me down into a sitting position and motioned for me to lie down while he grabbed the folded up blanket from the chair beside Rosalie's bed. He threw it over top of me and ruffled my hair before he moved to walk out of the room, throwing me a wink before he ducked out the door.

As I laid there in the darkened room, surrounded by the warm blanket, I began to drift off into a peaceful sleep, and I hoped that by the time I woke up, I would be able to talk to my husband.

*****

When I woke up, I felt disoriented, but at least I felt slightly rested, and it would keep me from getting delirious. I looked up to the clock on the wall and it read one o'clock, and I had at least gotten a few more hours of sleep under my belt. Rosalie was sitting up in the bed smiling as her torso was covered with a blue striped receiving blanket. I looked over to the little crib and it was empty, so I figured that she was feeding Evan.

"Hey sleepy head," she said as she readjusted the blanket a little and peeked underneath it smiling.

"Hey," I rasped; my voice broken and heavy with sleep.

"You feeling any better?" she asked softly as her other hand disappeared underneath the blanket.

"A little," I mumbled, running my hands over my face vigorously, trying to wake myself the rest of the way up.

"How's he doing?"

"Good, really good, he's a hungry little guy," she said as she moved around under the blanket and then pulled it off of the front of her.

He was laying in her lap with his eyes closed and one of his tiny hands pulled up by his mouth. Apparently, he had fallen asleep during his lunch and she held him tightly in one arm as she moved to re-snap the front of her gown together.

I stood up and slowly walked over to her, wanting to get a good look at my cute little nephew again. He was so sweet, and I was so excited to get to see him grow up. I was beyond excited to become an aunt, and I totally intended to spoil him rotten.

"You want to burp him?" she said as she motioned to a burping rag that was lying on the small table beside her bed.

"Are you sure?" I asked, not wanting to intrude on her private moment with her son.

"Just grab that, throw it over your shoulder and rub his back in firm circles. And make sure to support his head."

I positioned the rag on my shoulder over my suit jacket and walked over to where she was holding him out in front of her. She carefully lowered him into my arms and I held his tiny little head in my hand as I supported him with my other arm down his back. He looked so fragile.

Slowly and carefully, I raised him to my shoulder as he made soft little gurgling noises. Once I had him against my shoulder, I moved one hand to cradle his neck while I place my other arm around his little bottom to hold him against me. I moved my lower hand up tentatively to rub circles against his back and he began to make little cooing noises in my ear. He was still just as warm as I remembered, and I could feel one of his tiny little hands on the side of my neck.

I instinctively began to bounce a little bit as I rubbed his back and Rosalie was smiling brightly at me as I held him.

"You're a natural Bella, really," she said as I heard a little popping noise and then a gurgle in my ear.

"Did he just?" I asked as I tried to turn my head to the side to look over at him.

"Weird, huh?" she said as she chuckled at my surprise.

I mean they did call it burping, but I didn't know that it would sound like one, only tinier.

"Yeah," I said with amazement evident in my voice, and what I was sure was a dazed look on my face.

Even though what I witnessed of the birth part was not particularly appealing, this part, this part I could handle.

Claudia, and all her new age, granola eating wisdom was right, once you met your child it was worth it, it was probably going to be a whole lot of work for Rosalie from here on out, but it would be worth it.

Even at less than a day old, Evan seemed to have a personality of his own, and a very large one at that. After I finished burping him, I slowly turned him around so I could cradle him in my arms and returned to the reclining chair so Rosalie could get some more sleep. She was going to need hers more that I needed mine right now, so I would happily keep an eye on my nephew.

Several times over the next hour, nurses came in to check on him, and all of them seemed amazed at how alert he was considering that Rose had been administered an epidural.

He laid in my arms cooing and squinting his tiny little eyes shut as he wiggled around. He was a teeny tiny little infant and he already couldn't sit still. They were going to have their hands full with this one, but at least he seemed to be a very happy baby.

I knew that babies this age didn't smile, but you could read his eyes, and when I found myself staring into them, I could tell that he was content. That, of course, meant that Emmett's personality must have passed through his genes, because a large majority of the time, he was an extremely happy person. I envied my brother in that aspect for most of my life, and I hoped that it would rub off of little Evan and onto me for when I had my own tiny little baby in my arms.

Evan's behavior seemed to take a turn for the worst as it neared three o'clock, and I nervously returned him to Rose when he began to wail. She woke him up with his whimpering and wailing, and she immediately summoned a nurse who took him back to the nursery to change him. Rose laughed at the apparently shell-shocked look on my face, and told me that the first time he cried with her she wanted to cry right along with him.

"I felt so bad for him, I didn't want to him to be upset," she told me, "I had to have Emmett take him because I knew if I listened to him cry again, the hormones would surely make me join him. What am I going to do when he does that at home?"

"You will be fine Rose, of course you will. Did Em tell you that you were going to have some help for the first week or so?"

"What? Are you?" she asked with a startled look on her face and I tried not to laugh because Emmett had obviously not told her about their coming houseguest.

"Renee is coming, she will be here shortly, Em and my dad went to get her from the airport."

Several emotions crossed Rosalie's face all at once, but she settled with resignation. She didn't have quite the intensity of feelings that Edward had for my mother, but she was flighty, so she and Rose didn't always see eye to eye on things. It should make for an interesting week, and I was glad that I had work to go back to on Monday.

"I guess I should have expected as much," she mumbled as she tried to pull herself up to a sitting position.

When she started making her way to the bathroom, I decided that I should go back and see if anyone had returned to the waiting area while I was asleep.

"Rose, I'm gonna go back to the waiting area and see who is out there for awhile, I'll see you in a little bit, alright?"

She waved me down as she made it to the bathroom door and told me to go visit with Alice, so I headed back down to find her. Surely her confrontation with Jasper was over by now, and I hoped that they had gotten over this whole misunderstanding. If he was any kind of man, and friend to her, he would see how much this whole thing affected her and know that her intentions were good.

When I got down to the room, Alice and Jasper were still missing, so I sidled up to the nearest empty chair and absentmindedly watched the television in the corner of the room which was showing old episodes of that show about rich spoiled teenagers in California. The nurses obviously loved torturing the people waiting in here with bad daytime television.

I leaned my head back on the back of the chair and closed my eyes. I knew that I would probably have to make another trip to the cafeteria soon, because my stomach was starting to really hurt again, but for the time being, I was enjoying the quiet.

I wasn't exactly sure how long I sat there, but when my stomach started having stabbing pains, I knew that something was wrong with me.

Bending over in my chair to rest my head on my palms seemed to help, but the pain was getting worse the longer I sat still, but I couldn't will myself to move.

Just as I was about to get up to try to go to the bathroom, I heard the door open, and Alice's light voice caused me to look up. I was sure that there was panic and pain evident in my face, but I couldn't help the sob that escaped my throat when the pain intensified and it literally felt like someone was stabbing me in the abdomen.

"Bella, what's wrong?" she said as she hurried to my side.

"I……..I'm don't know," I said panting, and wincing as I tried to pull myself out of the chair. "My stomach……ow……something is wrong……I……I need to get to the bathroom."

"Alright, Bella, you are freaking me out, do you need me to help you?" she said with a panicked look on her face as I used the armrest to push myself up.

I took a few steps towards the door, and a particularly bad shot of pain ran through me and I collapsed to the floor, curling myself up in a ball as I did.

After I hit the floor, this ringing sound started in my ears, and I closed my eyes to try to stop it. I could feel the wet stinging sensation of tears streaming down my cheeks, but the pain was so bad, I didn't care.

"Bella, I'm going to go get you help," Alice stuttered as she made her way to the door and called out for a nurse.

After lying on the floor curled up in agony for who knows how long, I felt myself being lifted and placed in a wheel chair. There were voices calling out around me, but I couldn't really hear anything as I instinctively cradled my belly. I heard murmurings of Alice's voice, and I didn't open my eyes until I heard the distinct dulcet tones of my father in law. I wanted to call out to someone and find out what was going wrong, but it hurt too much.

I could hear myself cry out as another surge of pain went through my body, and I could see a person in scrubs trying to get me to uncurl myself so they could examine me. That was when the sour rusted smell of the blood hit me and my eyes rolled back as I struggled to breathe.

As I was fighting to drag in breaths, I could hear parts of the conversation going on around me.

"There's a large amount of bleeding……lower abdomen…..possible hemorrhaging…….do you know if there is any possibility of a pregnancy?…….I'll page him……we need to give her this to stop the bleeding….."

When they asked about the pregnancy, I could hear myself whimper as the tears began rolling down my face again. It was then that I realized what was happening….my baby, the little life that was inside of me, was dying. There was no way that it could survive the amount of bleeding that they were talking about.

I started thrashing about on the bed trying to sit up, but then I felt something prick my skin and then a strange calm wash over me as my eyes fluttered closed.

*****

I groaned as I tried to open my eyes, and I could hear a faint beeping noise as everything became a little more clear.

"Bella?" Alice sobbed as I felt a set of warm hands enveloping one of my own.

Trying to clear myself from the stupor that whatever they gave me created, I eventually was able to open my eyes and I saw Alice sitting in a chair beside my bed with tears streaming down her face.

"I…..I'll get the doctor and let them know that you are awake," she said as she let go of my hand and disappeared out the door.

She came back in with a tall, dark haired man, and I could tell by the way that he was looking at me, that he was not bringing me good news.

"Mrs. Cullen. I am Dr. Laurent, one of the trauma physicians in the Emergency Room. When you were brought to us, you were hemorrhaging large amounts of blood and we had to give you a drug to stop it. I am sorry, we tried everything we could, but we believe that you were suffering from a natural abortion of your pregnancy," he told me as Alice held onto my hand tightly.

My lip began quivering as he continued, and only when the door opened and a familiar head of bronze hair came through the door did I let myself break down. I fought with Alice and sat myself up on the edge of the bed, trying to get to him. Nothing was registering to me at that point, as I clutched to my stomach and sobbed out, "The baby….."

Edward's face contorted in a mask of anger and pain as Dr. Laurent turned to speak to him, and I began to sob uncontrollably as I struggled to try to get to my feet.

I couldn't understand the look on his face when the doctor turned to leave the room and I began to stand to reach out to him, but I couldn't support myself and crumpled to the floor. As I landed I tried to brace myself, but a shooting pain ran up my arm as I felt myself lose consciousness on the cold tile of the floor.

**

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A/N: *goes and hides under flame retardant tarp***

**Alright, I know everyone officially hates me right now, but this was a necessary point in the plot, and it was not something that we just made up at the last minute, this was in the outline before we even wrote the first chapter, so it was something that was given a great deal of consideration.**

**I know that we have essentially killed off a life, but that happens in real life. From personal experience, I know what it is like to lose a child that early on in a pregnancy, and it really helps you get your priorities in check. This will help Bella and Edward both sort through their feelings about the subject of having children, and even though it is a tragedy for their family, it will help them strengthen their bond. **

**Now as for a warning for the chapters that are being posted next week, some of you will not like them, but wait until Wednesday with the posting of Bella's next chapter to decide your view on the situation. There are lots of emotions running around in the brains of our favorite characters right now, and not everyone has adequate coping skills. Hopefully after the resolution of the arc next week, you will all continue to enjoy this story, the angst will be going away after a few more chapters as the characters all get ready for the charity gala…….and maybe another character will be added to the mix as well……*wink wink***

**Ok, now that I have officially droned on about the plot points, we want to remind you about our little contest that officially begins tomorrow…….Forbidden Love Affair: A Contest of Hidden Desires, being hosted by bemylullaby, myself, kyla713 (the brilliant inventor of the beautiful bastard), miztrezboo (our new guest author), and Nostalgicmiss. Check out my profile for the link to the C2 Community, and if you are interested in participating, make sure to look over the full listing of the rules and entry regulations under My Stories. As L told you guys yesterday, my one-shot has been posted…..so go check out Suiteward, he's full of surprises…..;)**

**Till next week ladies and gents!**


	23. The Proud, the Confused, and the Fierce

_**All things Twilight belong to the amazing Stephenie Meyer . . . Couture and MJP . . . among other things . . . belong to us :)**_

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The Proud, the Confused, and the Fierce**

**APOV**

"Bella," my voice was a squeak as I rushed forward to try and catch her limp body. Her unconsciousness gave her extra weight though and she was soon a crumbled mess on the floor in front of us. Her wrist was twisted at a strange angle underneath her.

Edward was frozen in the corner of the room, anger and confusion painted across his brow, his thumb and forefinger pinching the bridge of his nose tightly as he stared off into space. He was lost to the shock of the situation as his wife lay in a crumpled mess on the floor.

I was on my knees beside her in a second, my hands uselessly fluttering over her as I tried to remember the most basic first aid. "Fuck, Edward snap out of it, I need some fucking help here," I shouted.

Edward jolted from his frozen position and he stepped forward into a crouch, his arms wrapped around Bella's limp form that lied lifelessly on the ground. There was absolutely no emotion in his face at all as he moved; he placed her on the bed before touching her cheek once.

He picked up the phone on the wall and dialed a number, he murmured into the phone quickly before hanging it up and turning towards the door of the room, anger seemed to be the winning emotion on his face. I couldn't believe he was being this selfish right now.

"Edward," He turned to look at me but before I could continue he turned on his heel, marching across the shiny linoleum. "Seriously?"

I watched him stop before pulling open the door, "A baby . . . nice of her to fucking tell me." There was silence as the door shook gently from his grip. "I have to go; a doctor will be in to look at her wrist."

The door of the room slammed shut, and the sound echoed through the small room bouncing off the four pallid walls like a gunshot, a gunshot straight through my best friend's heart. As if all this wasn't enough for her to go through without Edward's selfish ego trip. Was his pride that much more important than Bella? This was bullshit. Where the hell was he going?

Bella was shaking violently even as the blackness of unconsciousness consumed her. I didn't want to leave her side, but I wasn't going to let him walk away like that. I had questions about his attitude and he was sure as shit going to answer them.

I squeezed Bella's hand gently as I stood up. This wasn't going to wait, the anger boiling in my blood demanded answers now, and I wouldn't be able to say everything I needed to later. It had to be now. He would not leave Bella alone to deal with this. It was a shock and he was hurting too, but this was unforgivable.

"Bells, I'll be right back," I whispered, hoping that if she woke she wouldn't be too distraught, the fall she'd taken from the bed had been traumatic to watch. Edward had picked her up from the ground before storming out of the room, but there was a vacancy behind his eyes. He was emotionally detached from this and it fueled my fury.

I wasn't sure if she'd heard me in her unconscious grief stricken state, but I wasn't planning on being gone too long, She would wake up in pain after the fall and I was sure her wrist was broken. I sidled out of the room and route marched down the corridor. I could see him walking slowly towards the bank of elevators at the end of the hall. Chicken shit.

"CULLEN," the venom filled my voice as I spat out his name, I saw every muscle stiffen in him as he slowed to a stop. "What the fuck are you doing?"

Edward turned to look at me. I couldn't place the look on his face, or the tangled web of emotions that crossed it as my harsh tones hit him. At any other time, I would have felt the need to talk to him, he was one of my best friends; but right now he was being a self centered bastard. That didn't go down well with me.

"Well?" I demanded, my hands planting themselves firmly on my hips. "_Your _wife is back there, hurting physically and emotionally and all you do is walk away. Real fucking compassionate Edward, you sure are a fucking catch aren't you . . . What the fuck is wrong with you?" I felt the tears of anger sting my eyes as I glared at him. I was so angry.

"Alice, you don't understand . . . " His voice was heavy and full of emotion, but the fact still remained that he was out here while Bella was lying unconscious and broken in there. She would need him above everyone else when she woke up and he was walking away from her.

"Fucking straight I don't understand, what is more important right now than her?" I prodded his shoulder with my finger; he flinched and dropped his head.

"If it's your pride then you're an arrogant fucking asshole Cullen. None of us knew, I called her after her appointment and knew there was something going on but _she_ insisted _she_ spoke with _you_ first. If you had taken one god damn second out of your precious fucking life to pay attention to her you would have fucking known. There's always something more important going on though isn't there . . . you are a selfish bastard Edward Cullen. You can't even take care of her in her time of need. You disgust me."

Edward shifted his weight and I knew I was getting to him. I wanted to hurt him, make him see what he was doing before the entire thing came crashing down around them both. This wasn't something he could or should run away from.

"Well? Are you going to go back in there or stand here like a fucking idiot?"

His eyes shifted from mine to the floor; up and back again. His tongue darting out over his lips like he was trying to gain moisture from the stale recycled air around us.

"I . . . she's . . . I can't," he muttered, his hand twitching at his side near the button for the elevator door.

Oh fuck no; he is not escaping this way. I pushed him with brute force until he stumbled against the wall, I could feel my eyes narrow as my patience ran towards the end of my tether, after everything I had just said, the fucker was still running. Fury welled inside me as flashes of Bella's torn face filled my mind.

"You're a fucking coward Edward; this is so much bigger than just you. Bella needs you, you're her husband, you're her fucking life and you're running away when she needs you the most." My finger pointed in his face, "Don't you see how fucked up that is, If you walk away . . ."

His hand came up, running once, then twice through the shaggy bronze locks on his head.

"I didn't know." His head shook from side to side.

The bastard still wouldn't look me in the eye. I dropped my hand to my side again.

"She had a stomach bug. That was all."

The hand pulled on his hair again, this time it looked like he was trying to pull it out by the handful.

"I can't go in there," he whispered, his voice strained.

"Man up Edward, you're not the _only_ one suffering here. You make it sound as though this only affects you. Do you honestly think Bella _wants_ to be in there? I can't believe you're selfish enough to walk away from this. I thought you were better than that." I could feel the tears spilling over as my body trembled with my anger. "You're a fucking doctor, you deal with shit like this all day but you can't spare a fucking minute for your wife."

My fists balled at my sides as I waited for him to say something . . . _anything_ that would explain what the fuck he was doing. The silence was loaded and he shifted again. I was beginning to feel like a rubber band stretched to capacity and ready to snap. I knew I had been gone from Bella for too long and I hoped she hadn't woken up yet; but I wasn't the one she wanted, or needed, but I would do everything I could if her chicken shit husband couldn't pull it together. I couldn't believe this was fucking happening.

"She didn't tell me. She should have told me." His eyes darted past me to the door to her room.

"I can't . . . I have patients . . . She didn't say anything." His hand hovered over the beeper at his side.

Was he actually willing that thing into making a noise?

Was he seriously considering walking out of here?

He groaned; the hand that was in his hair now scraped down his face. "I can't see her like that. She's . . . she . . . I have to check on Mr. Ronson."

"Fuck you Edward, I should fucking castrate you, but it would only upset Bella more. _Nobody knew_, she wanted to be the first to tell you but I'm guessing you were too fucking busy again!" My fingers dug deeply into my palms as they tightened yet again. I couldn't fucking believe him. "As for Mr. _fucking_ Ronson, Edward . . . it appears you value his life more than your wife, and that makes me sick."

My jaw tightened with every word I spat at him, I refused to let him walk away, it would crush Bella and she didn't need the extra stress on top of everything that had happened today. My wrist twitched, the blackened mark ached, the small pain seared through my body turning into anger. Edward's confused features did nothing to calm me; they made me angrier. Bella was hurting just as much as he was; why couldn't he see that?

"I have to do his post op. I have rounds . . . I have to go . . . I can't stay . . . I didn't . . . I couldn't have . . . I can't."

His hand was back in that stupid mop of hair that was part of what attracted Bella to him in the first place. His eyes were focused on that damn pager.

Why wouldn't he look at me?

"I have to go. I have responsibilities."

"Edward," He wasn't listening to a thing I was saying so I tried to control my voice. I stepped forward. "Bella _is_ your responsibility."

I reached out to him slowly as he once again eye fucked his pager. I would break the fucking thing if he didn't stop this. I let my hand rest on his arm with a sigh. "Edward, you need to listen to me, she lost _your_ baby, a baby that was a part of _both of you_. You can't ignore that, you have to go to her."

His eyes avoided mine at all costs and it took everything in me to beat back the anger so I could attempt to have a rational conversation with him. All I was getting right now was his evasiveness.

"She . . . _I didn't know_! How could I not . . ." a sudden sob cut off the rest of what he was going to say as his eyes closed tight.

"I can't." He shook his head vigorously from side to side.

"Our . . . Our . . . I . . . I can't DO THIS HERE!" His eyes snapped open, burning into mine with a fierce intensity.

I jumped back a little as his voice suddenly became much louder, the look in his eye was something I'd never seen before.

Maybe I had finally got him to listen.

But if he was going to be like this, he couldn't go in there.

"She's everything. She's. No. I can't. I won't." His eyes shut again, the shutters going back up, his tone returning back to what it was before.

He took a ragged breath in and slowly released it out. "I have to go."

"Edward, no." My hand reached out to him but his pager squawked loudly from his side making him jump. His arms flailed knocking the twisted wrist with more velocity than I though possible. Shooting pain ran up my arm, vibrating intensely. I pulled it to my chest as he took off without so much as a look behind him.

"EDWARD!" I was too late; he rounded the corner quickly as my arm throbbed painfully. I couldn't fucking believe him.

I stood in the desolate hall for a moment longer before turning on my heel and walking towards the room again. The fucked up thing was Bella's nephew's birthday would always remind her of what she lost; the weakness from her broken wrist would also be a red flag bringing up this dark day. How had this gotten so fucked up?

I stopped outside her room gathering my temper and my emotions; I wanted to be as strong as I possibly could for her in this one moment. She needed more now than she ever had and I planned to be a brick for her to lean on. She was always the stronger one, and now, I had to be that for her.

I pushed the door to her room open and pushed it closed quietly. The small click made Bella jump and I knew she'd woken up. I started to wonder how much of the conversation she'd hear out in the hallway. We hadn't been quiet. I felt lost for a moment, not knowing what to say or do to make it better.

I moved around the bed slowly, her face was contorted with the emotional weight of the situation and the physical pain I could only imagine her wrist was giving her. I had never in my life seen her looking like this and is scared me.

"Hey Bells," I whispered, resting my hand on her shoulder, there was a heavy weight in my heart as I watched her crumble at the sound of my voice, had she heard the argument Edward and I had been having? Was she in pain?

She clutched at her stomach, he hand roaming in circles. It was something you would see a pregnant woman doing in a nurturing gesture. Her bottom lip trembled hopelessly before she buried her head into the pillow. I bit back my sobs and tears of sadness for my friend, I needed to be the strong one, I needed to be here for her while she fell apart.

I climbed on the bed beside her, gently moving the swelling hand out of the way as I laid down next to her. I let my cheek rest on her hair, and wrapped my arms tightly around her. She clung on to me for dear life before burying her head into my shoulder. She sobbed uncontrollably and hopelessly, the tears came with force, they were unrelenting and vicious.

I stayed next to her letting her get all of the emotion out; her sobs came in waves as she fought for breath.

Wearing a strapless dress, I felt every tear hit my skin as she let every ounce of pain she was holding out, I had never seen her cry this hard in all the time I had known her. It tore me apart to see this vivacious woman so broken. Hate for Edward surged through me. He was the only one that could make this better, he was the only one that could give her the comfort she'd needed and he'd walked away.

"Alice, I saw it . . . I saw everything I wanted and I just lost it all."

That was when I let go and I cried with her. She had seen her future, had a day to get used to the idea and it had been stolen from her in a blink of an eye. I ran my hand down the back of her head and tried to comfort her the best I could, knowing I wasn't the one she needed.

Her wrist started turning the same color as mine as it rested gently over her ribs, I hoped a doctor would come in soon, I didn't want to leave her to find one, she was a shivering pile of emotion, and I wouldn't leave her side until she told me to.

I don't know how long we laid together crying, but eventually, whether it was due to the pain or the tumult of the current situation, Bella fell into a restless sleep. I stayed with her as she mumbled restlessly, Edward's name spilled from her with quiet desperation.

My phone chirped quietly from the small table that sat next to the bed. It dawned on me that no one knew what was going on. Only Edward and I had been there when it happened, the rest of the family were with Rosalie, Emmett and the baby.

I moved slowly, leaning back to pick up my clutch and pulled it to the bed so I could get my phone. I pulled it out and looked at the message.

"_Ali, where are you and Bella? Been calling her for an hour –Em."_

I wasn't sure if Bella wanted her family aware of the situation, especially considering why all of them were already here, but I felt I had a responsibility to let them know where she was. To do that, I would have to explain it to them. I really didn't want to do that to them over the phone. I took a deep breath and dialed the number to Emmett's cell. I hated to do this on such a happy day for him, but they needed to know.

"Hey Alice, where'd you guys go? Dad was asking about Bella . . ."

"Emmett," I cut him off not realizing how somber my voice was. I coughed trying to shift the grief I had shared with Bella. I needed to revert back into the strength I knew I had to have.

"Alice, what's going on?" I heard Emmett's voice turn serious, and I swallowed, he'd always been protective of Bella, and he knew me well enough to know the changes in my voice.

"It's Bella," I bit back the sob that threatened. Strength Alice? "She's been admitted into the hospital, I think you should come up here so I can explain, I don't want to upset Rosalie. Bring Charlie and Renee."

"Alice, it sounds serious, what's going on?" I could hear the muffled voices of everyone else in the room. Rosalie was demanding the phone from Emmett and I prayed this would be the one time he would refuse her.

"Emmett, I will explain, she's sleeping now, she's fine, but she's upset."

"What room?"

I gave him the room number and hung up the phone. I opened it again, knowing I would have to cancel with Jasper. I wanted to stay with Bella and the sooner I let him know the better. I typed a quick message.

_Jasper, something came up, gonna have to cancel dinner. I'll explain later. Rain check?_

I waited for a few moments, holding the phone close to my body so the answering chirp wouldn't disturb Bella. It didn't take long for him to answer.

_No problem, Call me later._

I typed in an answer.

_Will do, TTYL._

I snapped the phone closed before sliding it in my purse before setting it back on the table. Bella was frowning in her sleep and I could only imagine the picture her subconscious was giving her. Edward's face, the doctor telling her what had happened, the grief, the pictures of what could have been. It all seemed so unfair.

I laid in the bed with her, my eyes closed as I listened to the muffled sound of the hospital. I was waiting for their voices. The voices I had known for half of my life. I knew I had concerned them with my cryptic message but telling them over the phone would only have made things worse.

When I heard the commotion coming down the hall from the elevators, I slid off the bed quietly and made my way to the door. I hadn't planned on leaving Bella, but I didn't know what their reactions would be and I didn't want to startle her, she'd already been through too much for one day, hell, it was enough for a lifetime. I stepped out into the hall and gave them a weak smile.

"Alice? Where is she? Is she alright? What's going on?" Charlie's voice had a hint of panic to it as I walked towards them. The weight of what I had to tell them sunk in my stomach. Again, this should be Edward, he was her husband; this was his family.

"She's sleeping, we're waiting for the doctor to come in so they can take her down to x-ray." I took a deep breath, "She had a miscarriage; she blacked out and fell off the bed breaking her wrist."

"Bella's was pregnant?" Emmett muttered.

"Is Edward in there?" Renee asked quietly, looking past me to the door.

"No, he . . . left." Even after the shit he'd pulled I felt like a traitorous bitch, I was essentially throwing him to the wolves, but I had no choice.

"WHAT?" Charlie's voice was unnecessarily loud. His face turned a darker shade as his jaw set into a hard line. I hadn't seen Charlie this pissed in forever. I knew he wasn't going to let this drop.

"No one knew she was pregnant, she started bleeding in the waiting room, so I paged Edward and he brought her here, she found out on Thursday and hadn't even told anyone, she wanted to tell Edward first. He was upset about her not telling him, he helped her off the ground and then left the room."

"My poor baby," Renee cooed, her hand covering her mouth.

"Where is he?" Charlie growled, backing away from us. This couldn't be good.

"I don't know Charlie, I tried to talk to him but he walked away."

"I'll find the bastard . . ." With that, Charlie turned on his heel and disappeared down an adjoining corridor. Emmett looked torn; I could see the sadness dancing on his usually playful face as he absorbed the information.

I followed Emmett and Renee into the room and sat in the corner silently as Renee brushed strands of hair from Bella's pallid face, she looked tired and worn, but her eyes fluttered open at the touch.

"Baby," Renee's voice was a whisper as she held her daughters hand to her cheek. "How are you feeling?"

Bella's eyes moved around the room until they found me again, I shook my head knowing what she was asking, her teeth dug into her lip as her head fell back against the pillow. She was asking if Edward had come back.

"Bells, I'm so sorry," Emmett's voice was quiet and completely out of character, Bella smiled weakly at him.

"Emmett you should be with Rosalie, I'm fine, honestly. It was just a bit of a shock, you need to be with Rose and Evan. You too mom, seriously, this is a big day, I'll be fine, Alice will stay with me."

I nodded and smiled with as much effort as I could at her.

"Where's dad?"

"Went to find Edward," Emmett said in a low voice.

Bella flinched at his name, but her eyes widened, she knew what would happen if Charlie found him. Charlie may not have been openly affectionate, but he loved his kids desperately, and seeing them in any kind of pain was too much for him.

"Emmett, go get him, and take him back to your room with you. I just have to wait for an x-ray."

"Bella . . ."

"I won't take no for an answer . . . go," she forced a smile again, "And apologize to Rose for me will you."

Emmett's large frame leant over the bed and he pressed his lips onto Bella's forehead. "I'll come by later"

"I'll stay," Renee said gently, perching on the edge of the bed, watching Bella's face as she fought another bout of impending tears.

"Mom, your first grandchild is down there, go and enjoy it. I just need some time alone."

"Okay sweetheart, have Alice call me if you need me."

"I will."

Bella and I sat in silence and watched the two of them leave the room, both threw concerned glances back at her before the door eased closed again. I hated that she had to go through this. I made my way back to the bed and hopped up beside her. We both lay on our backs looking up at the ceiling tiles in our silence.

I knew the tears were far from over, but I would be there to pick up the pieces until Edward finally came around and realized what was happening. The room was filled with a heavy atmosphere and I half wondered where Charlie was and whether he'd managed to catch up with Edward or not.

"After we're finished here Ali, would you mind taking me home?"

"Of course not, we're gonna have to take your car. We can stop and pick up some ice cream on the way." I smiled, leaning my head against hers.

"Thanks, Ali."

"Anytime," I whispered; then the silence was disrupted by the entrance of a doctor.

We both looked up, and Bella's face fell slightly when she realized that it wasn't the one doctor that she wanted to see.

"Mrs. Cullen, let's take a look at your wrist," he said as I climbed off of the bed and took a seat in one of the chairs off to the side of the room.

I watched quietly as he cradled her injured wrist in his hand, turning it and asking her questions as he appraised the condition of it. She winced as he moved it, but I could tell that she was still trying to put on a brave face. It was only a matter of time until she broke down again, I just hoped that I would be able to pick up all of the pieces.

"Well, I think that we will need to get you down to x-ray. It looks like you might have fractured your scaffoid bone, if this is the case, we need to get you into a cast right away," he said as he moved towards the little phone on the wall.

"A nurse will be in to take you down to radiology," he said and then left, closing the door quietly behind him.

"Great," she muttered as she slumped back into the pillows of the bed, staring at the ceiling. Bella was still ghastly pale and I could tell that she was beating herself up about this situation. "Clumsy Bella strikes again."

She chuckled morbidly as she closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. Her lips were pursed and I could tell that she was fighting back the urge to cry. I couldn't even imagine how she was feeling. In the matter of forty-eight hours, she had gone from blissfully happy to broken and somewhat alone. I still couldn't believe that audacity of her asshole husband. Who walks away from their wife after something like this?

I just stared at her as she lie on the hospital bed, I wanted to comfort her, but I knew that she had gone into protection mode. She sent away her family, her husband ran away, I was the only person left and I knew that it was only a matter of time before she tried to shut me out too. Hopefully, whatever pain killers they would put her on would bring her out of this funk. Bella tended to perk up with the help of major narcotics, and she was in desperate need of them right now.

After a few minutes, a nurse brought in a wheel chair, and Bella reluctantly climbed into it.

"Do you want me to stay here? Or should I come down?" I asked timidly as she continued to stare off into space.

"There is a small waiting room in the radiology department, you can wait down there for her, and then we will come get you when we bring her out," the nurse told me and I stood up and followed them down the hall.

The silence in the elevator was oppressive as we made our way towards the radiology department, and I was directly to a small waiting area with more uncomfortable plastic chairs. I was grateful to Jasper for forcing me to sleep earlier; I was dead on my feet as it was.

I was brought out of my reverie when a small chirp from my cell phone alerted me to a new text message. Pulling out my phone I noticed the caller ID read Jasper, and I smiled widely, I was so happy that he decided not to hold my omissions against me.

_Rose called; I understand you need to be with Bella. Call me if you need anything. ~Jazz._

Well, at least he was not upset about me cancelling our date. I couldn't help but wonder how long he planned on staying in Seattle. I didn't even really know where he called home. His family was here, but his career sort of lent towards a nomadic lifestyle, and since he severed ties with Maria, where did that leave him?

It was too early in our relationship, if that's what you could even call it, for me to be asking him to move, but I knew that I didn't want to be separated from him again. I felt like everything in my life has started to click into place in the last few days, and I didn't look forward to him leaving for any amount of time.

We had so much to learn about one another and I hated to think that we were already running out of time. He'd followed that harpy around for so long, I knew he must be confused. All of these things I wanted to ask, but they would have to wait, Bella was hurting, and I could only think of her.

I sighed, and texted him back, worrying about things I had no control over were not going to help me any.

_Jazz~ thank you for understanding. I won't hesitate to call. I miss you ~ Ali._

Was the _I miss you_ too much? I did, I had just seen him less than three hours ago, and I already wanted to see him again.

My finger hovered over the send button as I contemplated my message. He had said that he wanted honesty, and I knew that from the way he kissed me that he felt there was something there too. I didn't want to play the usual dating mind games anymore, so taking in a deep breath I pressed send and hoped that he wouldn't think I was a crazy person.

The waiting room I was sitting in was empty, and I hoped that it wouldn't take long for them to get her x-rays finished. I couldn't imagine there were too many possibilities when there was only a wrist involved, but you could never tell.

After ten more minutes, Bella reappeared in her wheel chair, her face painted with an emotionless mask. I could only imagine how this was all eating away at her inside, she was more sleep deprived than I was, and I was exhausted, both physically, and emotionally.

"Well?" I asked tentatively when she noticed that I was there.

"Don't know yet, the doctor should have the films within the hour, guess it's back to the hospital room for me," she said as the nurse began to push her towards the elevator, with me trailing behind them.

When we got back to our room, and she was situated in the bed, I climbed in with her and pulled her head onto my shoulder. I knew that she wasn't really ready to talk yet, and to be completely honest, I was getting angrier by the minute that Edward had yet to reappear. I could only imagine the damage that Charlie had inflicted upon him, and somehow I hoped it wasn't only physical.

I just hoped that Edward didn't stay gone too long, because every minute he was away from her, the more she was going to wall herself up. Bella was a very stubborn person when she wanted to be, and if he didn't come to his senses soon, this could very well destroy their marriage. I was mad at him, furious actually, but they did love each other, and I would hate to see their marriage fall apart over something like this.

Bella's breathing evened out after about ten minutes, and I was happy that she would at least be able to get a little sleep. She must have been running on empty considering that she brought Rose to the hospital well over twenty four hours ago, and I kept her up late the night before that talking on the phone.

My trivial problems with Jasper seemed to pale in comparison to what my friend was going through. I was so worried about a guy liking me, given, he may be my soul mate, but still, that I neglected to realize what was going on with her. Her whole world was falling apart, she had just lost a child, and I had absolutely no idea how to help her. Was me being there going to be enough?

When the doctor came into the room holding up an x-ray film, I shook Bella's shoulder gently and she groaned before her eyes flickered open.

"Well, Bella, it looks as though my suspicions were correct. We are going to need to put a cast on your wrist. The fracture was small and luckily didn't snap the bone, so we just need to get you in a cast to keep it immobilized."

"How long?" she asked, her voice tight, she sounded drained.

"The bone that you fractured does not heal as fast as some others, so just to be on the safe side, I estimate that you will probably need to stay in the cast for at least six weeks, and then you might need a brace afterwards depending on how quickly you heal."

She nodded and then glanced over at me, her expression pained. I knew what she was thinking. How was she ever going to do her job without the use of her left hand? She was a writer; she always had been, even when she wasn't getting paid for it.

"It'll be fine, Suzanna can probably arrange for you to dictate your article until you get out of the cast. You'll probably be out of it in the span of an issue anyways. Don't worry about it."

"Mrs. Cullen, I am going to prepare the materials I need to get your cast into place, and then I can give you a prescription for the pain. I will also refer you to an orthopedist. She may want to get you into some sort of physical therapy once you are out of the cast, but for now, you can go to her for your follow-up care. Any color preference?" he asked as he made to move back towards the door.

She bit her lip and then answered in a monotone voice, "Black."

How fitting, the color of grief.

"Going for timeless, huh Bells?" I joked and she gave me a weak smile.

"You know that we are going to get through this, right?"

She pursed her lips and I could see the tears welling up in her eyes. I knew that I was just a poor substitute for the person that she really wanted to be here with her.

"I know," she said in a quiet voice. "I just wish it hadn't have gotten so fucked up."

"Hey," I said turning to face her, knowing that I needed to get her out of this self-deprecating mood quickly. "This, this is not your fault. You did everything you could do, sometimes life just comes back to bite you in the ass. Do not blame your self for his actions. _He_ is a big boy, and you do not need to feel responsible for him being a coward."

"But what if he hates me?"

"Bella, I can assure you that he could never hate you, even though he is being a selfish asshole right now, I know that he loves you. I just don't think he knows what to do about any of this."

Before we could get any further into our inevitable discussion on her husband's irrational behavior, the doctor came back in with a cart filled with what I could only assume were the materials needed to build a cast. I got down off the bed and settled into my chair and watched as he quickly wrapped her wrist and began to wind the black material around the soft inner portion of the cast.

Bella never complained the entire time that he was applying the cast, but I could tell from the way that she was holding herself up that she was exhausted. She was going to crash soon, and I hoped that she could hold off until I got her home. I was not big enough to carry her inside, especially if she was doped up on pain killers.

"Alright, looks like we have you all settled here, I will go get your prescription and referral papers ready, then we can get your discharge papers ready and get you home. Would you like me to page Dr. Cullen and let him know that we are sending you home?"

I winced at the mention of his name, and I could see Bella stiffen slightly as well. She probably didn't want it broadcast to the entire hospital that her husband had run away like a coward from his wife who had just suffered a miscarriage and broken her wrist. I was sure that Charlie had probably made enough of a scene when he hunted down his son-in-law. I had seen Chief Swan mad several times in my youth in the line of duty, and I hoped that I would never incur his wrath. He was normally a very mild mannered man, but when pushed, he was dangerous.

"No," she responded quietly. "I will speak with Edward when he gets home, I don't want to disturb him at work."

"Ok, well, I'll be back shortly, try to get some rest while I get your papers together," he said before he left the room.

Bella settled back into the small hospital bed, and propped her newly encased arm on top of her stomach, she was still dressed in the hospital gown that they had put her in when she was in the emergency room, and I immediately began to worry about what she was going to wear home. They never returned her suit to her after they had cut it off of her, and my clothing would be too small for her.

"Bella, I will be right back," I said as I got up to head towards the nurses' station.

She grumbled something from the bed and I exited, quickly spotting a nurse who appeared to be entrenched in paperwork sitting behind the desk down the hallway.

"Excuse me," I said in a cheerful voice, being nice really could get you everything in life.

"Yes?" The nurse responded, not bothering to look up from the folder in front of her.

"I am here with Bella Cullen, Doctor Cullen's wife, and I am afraid that her clothing was never returned to her when she was transferred up here from the emergency room. Her doctor has cleared her for discharge and I was wondering if you could help me out with finding something for her to wear home."

"Well, normally I would suggest that you sent someone home to retrieve her thing, but since I know that either Doctor Cullen would not tolerate something like that, let me see if I can find a pair of scrubs for her," she replied quickly, throwing me a tight smile as she stood up and disappeared into a room at the back of the nurses station.

"Thank you."

A few minutes later, she returned with a small white cotton t-shirt and a pair of green scrub pants, and handed them over to me.

"She can send the pants back with Doctor Cullen later on," she said as she returned to her paperwork.

Even if it was something small, I was glad that I could solve one of Bella's problems.

Forty-five minutes later, Bella and I made our way to the parking garage, her still reluctantly being pushed by an orderly in a wheel chair. Normally they would have left her at the front curb for me to pull the car around, but I guess being the wife and daughter in law of two surgeons at the hospital afforded you special privileges.

She had her purse clutched tightly in her hands as he stared off into space. She only spoke when she was giving me the brief directions of how to get to her little silver Volvo. She was bordering on delirium at this point, and I could tell that she was starting to feel the effects of the oxycontin that her doctor had prescribed her.

The ride to her house was silent, I don't think that either of us knew what to say. I didn't want to upset her, and she obviously was not ready to talk anymore. I was sure that we would have plenty of time for that later. I had sent a text message off to Amanda earlier informing her that I would not be returning to the office until Tuesday at the earliest. Luckily, I had been able to get most of the photos off to the layout department before I left New York, and there had been writer's from the magazine at the shows all week, so they didn't need me to get the layout on spring fashion week into the issue before it got sent to print.

I had tried contacting Suzanna, but I was still getting her out of office response from her email, so I would have to call her in the morning and fill her in. I wasn't sure when Bella would be returning to work, but I could tell that it was probably going to be the end of the week if she returned this week at all.

"Bella?" I said as I parked her car in the empty garage, and took the key out of the ignition.

She didn't respond, she just unbuckled her seatbelt and reached to open her door.

I hurriedly got out and rushed over to her side, helping her out of her seat before I closed the door behind her.

We made our way into the house, and I flicked on the light to the kitchen.

Bailey whimpered from the sliding glass door that led to the backyard, and I was relieved when I saw that she still had food in her bowl on the back patio. At least the poor dog hadn't been neglected in Bella's extended absence.

"Do you want me to let her in?" I asked as Bella took a seat on a stool at the kitchen island, placing her head on top of her forearms.

"Yeah," she mumbled and I could tell that I needed to get her upstairs to bed sooner rather than later.

I let Bailey in, who proceeded to run laps around the living room and back through the kitchen, sliding on the tile floors, as I pulled her bowls inside and refilled her water.

Bella was still sitting there slumped in her chair with her head on her arms once I finished, the black of her cast leaving a shadow across the granite countertop. Her shoulders were shaking gently, and I could tell that she was crying. My heart was breaking every time I looked at her. I didn't know how to fix this. They didn't exactly give you manuals on how to reassemble your best friend.

"Bella," I said walking over and placing a hand on her shoulder. "Let's get you to bed."

"I feel gross Ali," she grumbled as she sat up, swiping her uninjured hand across her tear stained cheeks.

"Well, let's at least get you upstairs so you can take a bath."

She nodded and I pulled her up out of her chair, throwing an arm around her waist as we made our way upstairs. I sat her down on the edge of the bed as I went in to fill the large tub in the master bathroom. I knew that we should probably cover her cast with plastic, but she had been in enough of them over the years to know proper protocol when it came to thing like that.

"Alright, bath is ready," I said helping her up from the bed and taking her into the bathroom.

"I'll be downstairs; I need to make a few calls. Do you want me to get you something to eat?"

"No, I'll be fine." Her voice was back to the monotone emptiness of earlier. I knew she just needed a hot bath and some sleep before I would get her to open up about any of this.

I made my way downstairs, pulling out my blackberry and scrolling through my missed calls. Nothing too important; although I did have one new text from Jasper and one from Emmett.

I dialed Emmett's cell phone number first, knowing that he would want to know how Bella was doing.

"Alice," he said in what sounded like a sigh of relief. "How is she? Are you still at the hospital?"

"No, she got discharged about an hour ago. I just got her home, she's taking a bath. She's not good Em, she won't talk to me for more than just a few words. Did you see him?"

"Um, well, yeah for a few minutes, Dad had him pinned up against a wall near the Emergency Room. I though the old man was going to hit him for a minute there. He's not happy, but Edward looked like shit. What are we gonna do Al?"

"I don't know, but I'm staying here with her. I don't want her to be alone. How's Rose doing?"

He sighed and I could tell that he was just as upset about this situation as I was. Edward had been one of his best friends for almost a decade, and I knew that he was torn over whether to beat him up for hurting his little sister, or hug him because his friend was going through something difficult.

"She's good, they are letting us take Evan home in the morning. She's really mad at Edward right now though, so I hope he doesn't try to come see the baby. Renee is trying to keep her occupied, but you know how she gets when she's mad."

"Yeah, he better hope she doesn't see him or he won't be fathering children anytime soon."

God, this whole situation was all kinds of fucked up.

Em chuckled, he knew all too well that you never wanted to incur the wrath of Rosalie.

"So, um, I should probably go up and check on her. I'll keep you posted. Is Charlie going to stick around?"

"I think he might stay in a hotel tonight, he didn't want to be in the house with Mom. I think he doesn't have to go back on duty until tomorrow night, so, who knows. Well, take care of her Alice, and don't hesitate to call me if you need anything."

"Alright Em, thanks."

One down, two to go.

I quickly dialed the next number, not knowing how awkward this conversation was going to be, but I felt the need to keep him updated on this, he hated being left out of the loop, and I knew that if Edward came back I would need him to help me if Bella didn't want to see him.

"Black," his deep voice echoed through the phone.

"Hey," I said shyly, I still was unsure of how to approach him. He had been so tense when we were in the waiting room with Jasper and I didn't know if he would want to speak to me.

"Oh, hey Al, what's up?"

"Well, um, I just got Bella home from the hospital."

"Wait, what? You mean you just got home, I thought you would have gotten back earlier than now. Christ Alice, it's almost ten o'clock. You stayed there all day?"

"That's why I am calling, after you left, Bella was admitted. She had a miscarriage."

There was a silent pause from the other end before he let out a long breath.

"I kind of had a feeling she might have been pregnant with how she was acting on Thursday. Is she alright? And why are you at home with her? Where's Edward?"

I took in a deep breath and tried to come up with a diplomatic way to phrase this. Jacob had always been overprotective when it came to Bella and I, and I didn't want him storming off to the hospital to beat the crap out of Edward.

"She is ok now, she ended up collapsing and breaking her wrist. And well…." I took in another deep breath and paused and I could hear an impatient sigh from his end. "Edward left her there, he went back to work. I really don't know what is going through his head right now, but he seriously fucked this up Jake."

There was a low growl from the other end of the phone and I could tell that I was upsetting him.

"Well, I always knew he was capable of being a jackass, but he'll come around, he always does. Just let me know if you guys need anything, I'll come cheer her up if you need me too, I could always make her laugh."

"Thanks Jake, that really means a lot, I'll try to keep you in the loop. And trust me, you will be the first one I call if I need someone to boot his ass."

"That's my girl," he chuckled. "Ok, I'll talk to you later, remember, I'm here if you need me. Goodnight."

"Night Jake."

Ok, now to check my text message.

_Miss you too. Don't forget, call me if you need me ~ Jazz._

Well, at least I didn't scare him off with my declaration of missing him after only a few hours. Lord knows I would scare him off if I told him the other things I was feeling towards him.

I pulled up his number and clicked send, I knew that I wanted to at least say goodnight to him.

"Alice," he said in his deep voice and I could tell that he was smiling.

"Hi Jasper," I said in a timid voice. What was it about this man that brought out my inner teenager?

"How are you?"

"I've been better. Bella's not doing so well. She broke her wrist, among other things." I wasn't sure exactly how much Rose had told him about what was going on.

"Well, I can imagine. Make sure to get some sleep, you still sound tired. Will you make sure to call me and let me know how you are doing? I don't want to worry about you."

My heart flip flopped in my chest with each word, he sounded like he was genuinely concerned about me. I wondered if he was feeling the strange pull to me that I always felt towards him. Even when he was worried about his crumbling relationship with another woman I always wanted to comfort him.

"I will, are you going to be staying in town for long?"

I didn't even know where he lived, and I didn't want to assume that he would just stay in town indefinitely because of me. I knew how much of a hold he had on my life, but with everything that had happened, I didn't know where I stood in his.

"Yeah, I'm at my mom's. I'll be staying for at least the next few weeks. My agent has a few contracts lined up at the end of the month, but I wanted to spend some time with my nephew. I hope that I can see you while I am still here, I fully intend to take you up on that rain check," he chuckled.

I contemplated his words; he would be in town for a few weeks and wanted to spend time with me. My heart raced at the implications. Would the next few weeks be enough to keep him interested? Was he even ready to start another relationship?

"That sounds great, but hey, I hate to have to go already, but I really need to go back up and check on Bella."

"I understand, just call me Alice. I always enjoy our conversations."

"Me too Jazz, I will. Goodnight."

"Night Alice," he responded in his smooth deep voice and I closed my eyes as I turned off my phone.

When I heard the water beginning to drain from the bathtub I made my way back upstairs. I hadn't bothered to get my suitcase out of the back of Bella's car, but I wasn't in the mood to right now.

Bella was curled up with her back to me on the far side of the bed when I got into her room, and I ducked into the closet and grabbed a pair of her shorts and a t-shirt before I slipped into the bathroom to change. We had shared clothing before, so I knew she wouldn't mind, and all the sleep clothes in my suitcase were dirty anyways.

I quickly washed my face and got changed, and slipped back into the bedroom. I turned off the lights before I climbed into the bed. Bella was wearing one of Edward's purple UW swimming shirts, and a pair of his scrub bottoms that she had rolled up at the ankles. I couldn't even imagine what she was going through at this moment, but I was determined to help her through it as I curled myself around her and absentmindedly stroked her hair.

I could hear soft whimpers escaping from her as we both drifted off to sleep, and I cried right along with my friend for the loss of the child that would never be.

**

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A/N: Poor Poor Bella, I would like to thank the extraordinary Momma E, Aka goldentemptress for adding to the ass end of this chapter, she knew what needed to happen with Bella, so I let her have at it. **

**Tomorrow, Miztrezboo and her extraordinary chapter . . . you will love it, and that's all I am going to say, then on Wednesday . . . Bella's back.**

**I just wanted to add that we . . . goldentemtress, Miztrezboo, bemylullaby and myself, have a blog up and running as well as a Forbidden love Affair contest. We would love to see some of you submitting stories. The rules are on each of our profiles and the blog address is www . fornicationstation . blogspot . com**

**Well, I guess that's it for this week, I will see you all next week :) Thank you for all the alerts and faves and of course to the reviewers who we adore and love hearing from. You are all amazing and we adore each and everyone of you. YOU ROCK!**

**Now . . . over to Miztrezboo and her POV (Who will it be?) . . . Much love and big hugz - L -**

**A/N #2:**** Hopefully this chapter flowed well enough, I was not sure if I kept Alice completely in character……oh well, L liked it, and it's her character, so that's all that matters.**

**On another note, miztrezboo has started up a thread on the AU-Human forum on Twilighted, so go check it out. We have a SFS signature icon up as well as a small teaser from tomorrow's chapter. So feel free to come play with us!**

**Alright, hopefully we didn't make you cry too much in this one, but tomorrow will be the tear jerker……bring lots of Kleenex…..**

**Ok, long ass author's note over now, hope you enjoyed it –E- **


	24. Edward’s Epic Fail

**Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight, but C & A did coin the term Wetward, so yeah, we kinda own him…..;)**

**Here it is boys and girls! Our wonderful guest writer miztrezboo has written an amazing Edward POV for you all, because I am sure that at this point you all want to kick him in the……….anyways, here is a peek inside the psyche of our favorite anal retentive, control freak, overly paranoid Dr. Cullen aka Wetward.**

**Here is miztrezboo's recommended playlist for this chapter……enjoy!**

_Miserable at Best – Mayday Parade_

_We've Got Rain On Our Side – The Scene Aesthetic_

_Amazing Because It Is – The Almost_

_Mayday Parade up first.. even though it's about breaking up it still fits._

_**WARNING: GO GET TISSUES NOW, YOU WILL NEED THEM!**_

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Edward's Epic Fail**

**EPOV (That's right, good ol Dr. Cullen)**

She wasn't coming out.

Why would she?

She wasn't coming out.

She was leaving me like I'd left her.

I'd lost so much.

I'd lost us.

I'd lost her.

Without her;

I'd lost everything.

She wasn't coming out.

I couldn't breathe anymore.

I couldn't FEEL anymore.

I couldn't remember the last time I felt anything.

She wasn't coming out.

I was empty.

Hollow.

Void.

She wasn't coming out.

There was nothing left;

Nothing but a hole inside me.

She wasn't coming out.

I stared at my hand on the wooden door;

Cold and hard under my fingers.

She wasn't coming out.

Without being able to see her,

I knew she was on the other side;

I could feel it,

That magnetic pull,

That electric hum that was always there when she was close,

But she wasn't coming out.

Alice's words echoed in my head.

"Your WIFE? Your RESPONSIBLILTY?" It was the second time in as many days that I'd seen my wife's best friend look at me like that. Spitting words full of venom at me. Her hand twitching at her side; needing to hit something.

I wanted her to.

I even unconsciously turned my head to offer her my cheek.

I would welcome her contact.

I would welcome the sting of her hand on my face.

Then the door slamming shut in front of me.

The continued hum of her raised voice echoing in the house was like a buzz in the back of my mind.

I heard the noise.

But still, I felt nothing.

I knew I wouldn't until I saw her again. I needed her.

I needed to be there for her, like I should have all along.

But she wasn't coming out.

"Please,"

I begged the door.

"Please."

I was met with silence like the hundred or more times before I'd whispered the word.

I'd screamed it till I was hoarse.

I'd screamed and pounded against the wood until my knuckles were bloodied.

I'd screamed until I couldn't anymore.

My legs giving out beneath me as I'd slid to the floor;

My hand against the wood.

The only link I had to her.

The only link I had to getting her back.

"Please."

I could barely get the word out now.

But I continued to say it.

"Please."

It was all I had.

"Please."

But I was beginning to realize,

"Please,"

It wasn't going to be enough.

"Please."

I pushed my hand against the grain.

She wasn't coming out.

_**Thirty Six hours earlier…**_

"Edward," _The baby?_

"She lost _your_ baby." _We were going to have a baby?_

"_both of you_." _Both of us? _

"Go to her." _Go to her. I couldn't. I can't. _

I could see Alice; her hand's flailing wildly about her.

I could see her mouth working over the words she was hissing at me.

I could see the fear in her eyes, the anger and the disbelief. I knew she was talking to me, but I could only hear Bella in my head.

"_The baby," _Bella's face filled with pain._ Why didn't I know?_

Why was I only finding out now?

How could she keep this from me?

Shouldn't I have known?

The signs; the nausea, the exhaustion, the small amount of weight loss.

I should have KNOWN.

"She . . . _I didn't know_! How could I not . . ." a sudden sob tore from my throat. I squeezed my eyes tight. All I saw was Bella. My Bella hunched over, her hand reaching out to me, but I couldn't reach back.

"I can't" I shook my head, trying to clear my mind of the constant barrage of images from the horrid slow motion replay of the scene that had only occurred moments before.

The baby.

OUR baby."Our . . . Our . . . I . . . I can't DO THIS HERE!"

I couldn't do this; I couldn't let go.

This was my fault. If I had of made her go to the doctor earlier. If I hadn't of been so occupied with the hospital; with my own troubles.

I SHOULD have known.

And now;

I nearly lost her.

I couldn't lose her. "She's everything. She's. No. I can't. I won't."

I closed my eyes again, willing the images to stop. I could do nothing here. I'd already done enough.

She was better without me. I took a ragged breath in and slowly released it out. "I have to go."

I'd failed us so much.

I'd failed me.

I'd failed her.

I'd failed our baby.

"Edward, no," The electronic beep of my pager brought me back into reality. There were people I could help. People I could make sure not to fail.

Not like I'd done with my girl.

"EDWARD!" Alice's voice followed me as I sprinted down the hall and towards the pit.

I willed the images of Bella on the bed out of my mind.

How could I have fucked this up so badly?  
I was supposed to look after her.

I was supposed to make sure she was safe.

I was supposed to be there for her.

I ran as fast as I could.

I ran from the images that kept running through my mind.

All I could see was my girl.

My beautiful wife curled up on that hospital bed.  
Her face paler than I'd ever seen it before.

So ghostly white.

And the pain etched on it.

I'd never forget that as long as I lived.

It was something I never, ever thought I'd have to see;

Something I never thought she'd ever have to feel.

And I'd done that.

I'd let us get pregnant.

I'd let us lose this . . . thing;

This tiny part that was both equally something of her and something of me.

Something I didn't even know I had to lose,

And it was gone;

Just like that.

And with its passing,

It took a part of my heart.

A part of me that now filled with guilt and shame.

Guilt that I'd let Bella talk me into not using condoms anymore.

Guilt because even as a doctor I knew the pill wasn't one hundred percent effective.

Guilt because as a doctor, I should have noticed the signs; the almost comical signs that nearly every woman shows when in the early stages of pregnancy.

I listened to her dismiss me as being overly worried. That it was just a stomach bug.

I knew stomach bugs, normal ones didn't last a week or more.

I knew these things.

I knew _all_ these things.

Yet I didn't pick up on any of it.

It took that moment in the hospital room.

That second from Bella's words leaving her mouth to my ears hearing them, to my brain comprehending them.

That second for my entire existence to explode and retract leaving me hollow.

All of this.

Bella.

_My_ Bella.  
Broken.

And now alone.

Because yet again, I...I couldn't cope.

The weight of guilt and shame was a heavy burden on my shoulders.

But I'd bare it for both of us.

Because this.

Bella and our lost child.

Was entirely my fault.

"Dr Cullen,"

All _my_ fault. I could still see her hand twisted out towards me.

"Dr _Cullen,_"

Her beautiful eyes, those eyes I always lost myself in, now swimming with tears.

"Edward,"

But these eyes were different. I blinked twice. Not Bella; Doctor Webber.

"Sorry," I shook my head, shaking the thoughts I couldn't let myself dwell on.

"We've just had word of a major motor vehicle accident out on the I-90, we need to free up as many beds as possible. We'll be taking the majority of cases so I'll need you out the front as soon as you can." Her tone was all business.

I nodded my head and got to work.

This part of my job was easy. Quick talk with the patient, check their chart. Move them on or move them up to a room. We needed the beds; we needed to have room. We needed to make quick decisions based on the evidence in front of me; I could do that. I could make sure I listened to my gut; look at the details and put them into order.

Nothing would escape me again. Every little thing could possibly make a difference between life and death.

Not again.

Not by me.

I wouldn't let anything pass me by again.

I worked quickly around the floor. For some reason there weren't as many doctors available so it took a while before we'd managed to get the pit in some type of readiness for the new intake.

I'd just headed into the hall to get some fresh supplies when I heard the sound of heavy footsteps in my direction.

Followed by my name.

"CULLEN!"

I stopped.

I knew that voice.

I should have expected to hear it.

I turned to face him.

"Cullen," he spat.

I'd never seen Bella's father look more terrifying. This was worse than when I'd asked for her hand.

This was Charlie with Bella's red blush, but worse, turned purple.

This was 'Charlie is out to cause pain'.

I'd let him.

I deserved it.

I did this to her.

I did this to us.

I did THIS to his little girl.

Of course, I deserved it.

I looked at the ground.

I couldn't bear to look into his face.

The face that held the same dark brown eyes that were in a room right now looking for my return.

"Why aren't you with Bella?" His tone was gruff. I could see his hands balled into fists by his side.

I didn't say a word.

How could I tell him I wasn't there because I felt so guilty that I'd let this happen to her?

"Look at me Cullen."

I still didn't lift my head.

I couldn't.

"I knew you were bad news when she brought you home. I knew the first time I set eyes on you that your promises wouldn't hold."

His hands were shaking,

But I felt nothing.

Let him speak. Let him tell me what a 'Class A Shit' I'd been.

"Don't worry about your daughter, Chief Swan. I'll look after her." He mimicked my voice.

"Look after her huh, how exactly are you looking after my daughter down here? How exactly are you looking after her when you're here and she's there? Tell me Cullen!"

He raised his hand, pushing my chin up so I had nothing else to do but face him.

"You're so weak. How can you do this to her? She's laying up there broken Cullen. Why aren't you with her?" Spittle gathered at the corner of his lips as he moved a step closer, pushing me back towards the wall.

"Still got nothing to say? You're a coward." His whole frame was shaking now as he tried to rein in his anger.

I didn't want him to rein it in. I wanted it unleashed. I needed someone to agree with what a fucking awful job I'd done at looking after my Bella.

How _anyone_ could have done a better job.

"She needs you. She needs you so much right now and what, your hiding down here in your father's skirts? Like some type of frightened little boy!" He pushed me again, his finger having moved from my chin to the middle of my chest. I felt the bottom of the wall press up against the heel of my shoe.

"You disgust me. What you're doing; leaving her like that. Leaving her to feel so alone when all she wants is you. I should hit you. I should lift my hand and hit you so hard so you feel even a tiny amount of what she's dealing with up there." His hand twisted my scrub shirt into his fist pushing me into the wall with every word; my head knocking against the plaster each time. There was nowhere left for me to go.

"Do it," I breathed.

He stopped; his form freezing in front of me.

"I should." I watched as the hand at his side wound back into a fist.

I closed my eyes and waited.

"Please," I whimpered.

I deserve it.

Hit me.

Please.

Hit me.

Hit me.

Hit me.

Hit me.

I chanted it over and over as I waited for him to follow through.

I knew he was angry at me.

I knew he was worried about Bella.

I knew if I was him, and he did what I'd done to Bella, I'd hit me too.

"Please." The word left my lips so softly, I wondered if he could hear me at all.

"I should." His voice trembled.

I again braced myself. Letting my arms fall to my sides.

Just DO IT, I silently willed.

It was quiet.

I could hear my breathing, in and out; slow and soft. Charlie's was harsh, almost as loud as the rattle of the air-conditioning ducts above us.

I waited.

I could feel him so close. His anger hitting me in waves as it left his body.

I wanted to drown in it.

"DAD!"

Suddenly the hand holding me against the wall by the scruff of my scrubs loosened.

"Jesus Dad, what are you doing?"

Emmett.

Now there were two.

Maybe they could tag team and I'd never have to feel good ever again. I could just feel pain. To feel anything at this point would be a blessing.

"What the HELL is going on here?" My eyes shot open at the arrival of the familiar female voice.

"Just having a little word with my son in-law," Charlie grunted, his fist still firmly holding onto my shirt.

Emmett looked between his father and me warily, then to Doctor Webber.

"A word huh. Well unless this word actually contains some type of verbal conversation then I'd suggest you let Doctor Cullen go." I could see her standing to the right of me; hands on hips, her steely gaze sizing Charlie and Emmett up.

"I'm finished anyway." He still hadn't let go of my shirt, but the hand that was in a fist close to my face was now back at his side, still gripped tightly, his knuckles white and drawn over the bones there.

"Fantastic. Now you either let him go or I call security." The sarcastic dry tone that I was use to from Doctor Webber dripped all over that sentence.

Charlie released my scrubs, but before moving away, he leaned in close to my ear.

"You're not the man I thought you were Cullen," he whispered, and then backed away.

Emmett put his arms around his Dad's shoulder and pushed him down the hall, not before sending me a look and mouthing, "_Keep away_".

Keep away; as if I could go back to Bella now even if I wanted to. I'd let her down, I'd let US down. The fact that she had kept this news away from me didn't even matter. What mattered was I SHOULD have known. I should have paid more attention in the first place. This was my fault and I'd take every particle of blame they wanted to throw my way.

"Doctor Cullen?" I attempted to smooth out my shirt as Doctor Webber moved closer.

"Edward, are you all right?" Her soft hand felt soothing on my arm. I didn't deserve sympathy.

"I'm fine Angela." I nodded, moving my arm out of her reach. I didn't deserve care even if it was just a hand on my arm.

I may have been able to control her physical response, but the look of concern in her eyes stayed.

I wasn't worthy of concern; I wasn't worthy of pity or care. It was all my fault.

"We're expecting the first bus any moment. It's probably going to be pretty messy." The tone changed back to her regular business one and I knew that our little moment was over.

She spun on her heel and headed back into the ER. I followed, grabbing my yellow coveralls and gloves heading to the back entrance.

The air was icy cold outside. The other interns beside me commented as they rubbed their arms and stamped their feet to keep the chill at bay. I felt nothing. I stood silent as they guessed at what we would be in for; broken arm, torn spleen, glass embedded in a retina. I heard my name as they tried to include me in the usual bets on what we'd see. It was useless. I didn't care what came in. I only cared about making sure I picked up everything this time, no stone left unturned, not this time.

A few minutes later, the first bus rolled in. I jumped as usual, rushing to the door.

"Thirty year old female, involved in MVA, head and chest lacerations, possible fracture ribs on right side from impact."

I helped pull the gurney down, taking in the information as we moved quickly indoors.

"She's been in and out of consciousness, just dropped out again as we were pulling in."

We moved her into trauma one and on the count of three moved her onto the bed.

"Was anyone with her?" I asked, checking over the notes and signing her in from the paramedic's file. He shook his head no.

"She was alone and by the looks of things very lucky. She was one of the last cars involved but still crushed in the front of her Taurus pretty bad."

"Any idea on a name?" He shook his head again.

"No, no ID found whilst we were there; but PD are looking into it." He took the folder from me as I turned to take in the scene.

The nurses were already setting up an IV and checking her over vitals as I took a deep breath and prepared to take in all the details.

Brown hair; not quite the same shade of chestnut as my Bella's but brown all the same. She was not overly pretty but not plain either. Her nose wasn't quite as turned up as Bella's.

What was I thinking of, this wasn't Bella, this was a patient; a patient who I could help, who I wouldn't let down.

I heard and repeated actions for the nurses to carry out as I took the woman's hand in mine. Her eyes crinkled and she let out a low moan.

"Where am I?" She asked her voice hoarse.

"You're in hospital ma'am. You were involved in a car accident. Do you remember anything about it?"

"Hospital? Oh, the car. The blue car in front stopped and I couldn't get out of the road." Her eyes blinked, slowly taking in her surroundings.

"You do remember. Do you think you could tell me your name too?" I asked, returning the light squeeze she gave to my hand.

A faint smile flickered on the edge of her lips.

"Maggie, Maggie Wilson."

"Well okay then Maggie Wilson. You look like you've got yourself a few nasty cuts that I'm going to take care of. And we're also worried about your ribs here so I'm going to have to send you off for an x-ray as soon as possible okay?" I smiled in return.

She nodded lightly, and winced as she moved her hand to grasp mine.

A loud gasp escaped her mouth.

"Oh, no! I can't have an x-ray! The baby!"

I froze.

My mind went into shut down.

The baby?

Our baby.

No, not our baby; Maggie's baby.

I took a deep breath and tried to centre myself.

"It's okay Maggie. They have special blankets to protect your baby from the x-ray. Is there anyone I can call for you?" My voice had a hint of a tremor. I hoped I was the only one to notice.

"Oh my husband! Oh god John won't know! He's expecting me to pick him up from the airport!" She attempted sitting up, her tone echoing the panic in her face.

"Please lay back down Maggie. I'm sure if you give me his number I can have one of the nurse's call and let him know where you are. We don't need you causing any more stress on your baby do we?" I forced a warm smile to my face.

She nodded, taking in deep breaths and laying down.

I quickly ordered the portable ultrasound machine and fetal monitor and asked the nurse to page Dr. Sloane for an urgent consult. I wanted to have all the bases well and truly covered for Maggie's condition.

Once I setup the fetal monitor and had a quick look over the ultrasound, I was happy to see nothing out of the ordinary. Maggie was relieved and relaxed back onto the bed, her look of calm only changing when she asked about contacting her husband.

"I'm sorry Maggie, but Nurse Davies has said she can't get through to his cell. Do you know what flight number it was? Maybe the plane was delayed?" I squeezed her hand gently in mine giving her another reassuring smile.

There was no need for her to have any added stress. I would make sure she and the baby were safe until he arrived. I wouldn't leave her until I knew her condition was stable and she was taken care of. I couldn't leave until I knew I'd done my job right. Keeping my patient safe and healthy was of the upmost importance. I wouldn't let her down. I wouldn't let anyone down again.

Maggie gave us the flight number and Nurse Davies went to make further calls. I waved off one of the younger interns as I set about closing the small cuts that the broken window had caused on Maggie's skin. She lay there quietly, happy to listen to the rhythmic beat of her unborn child. From what I could tell, the baby was in no sign of distress. I wasn't going to turn it off though until Dr. Sloane came down and checked for sure.

I was just about finished with the last of her stitches when he walked in the door.

"Edward? I thought you'd be..." He started, a puzzled look playing on his generally upbeat appearance.

"Thanks for coming down so quickly Mark, I've already performed a preliminary check on Maggie's baby here but I'd really like it if you gave me a second opinion." I handed him her chart and latest read outs from the machine.

"Why is he here Edward?" Maggie asked, her fingers reaching out to hold mine. I took them without question. I'd forgotten I'd told her my name and asked her to stop calling me Doctor Cullen before. Doctor Cullen was my father. A man who didn't make mistakes. A man who never would have screwed up like I had with my own wife. No. He was a better man than I.

"I'm not sure why I'm here either Mrs. Wilson. Looks like Doctor Cullen has everything under control. A word Edward?" He gave her his trademark grin, one I knew that had dropped a few nurses' panties in the on call room and motioned outside the door. I promised Maggie I wouldn't be long and would check up on her husband's whereabouts', then headed out after him.

What I didn't expect was Mark pulling me into a corner with a stunned expression.

"What are you doing here Edward? I heard about Bella..."

I felt heat rush to my face.

He heard.

Who else knew of my complete and utter failure?

"She's being looked after. So what did you think? Is Maggie in the all clear?" I swept his concern away. I wasn't deserving of it.

"Edward, you know she is. Why are you still here? You could have passed this on to someone. You are allowed to take a personal.." I cut him off again.

"Thanks for the consult Doctor Sloane. I really need to get back to Maggie now." I turned and strode back to the room; his voice echoing something about "….the patient, not Maggie," was left in my ears.

When I closed the door behind me, I found Maggie in tears.

"Maggie, what is it? Are you in pain? Is it in your abdomen? What is it?" I threw a barrage of questions at her as I checked over her readouts and then started to perform another head to toe check. How could I have missed anything the first time? I couldn't miss anything. I _wouldn't_ miss anything. Not again.

"No, no I'm fine Edward. It's just John. His plane has been delayed due to a mechanical failure or something. He won't be able to get here till tomorrow," she sniffled, rubbing at her eyes with one hand and scrunching a tissue in the other.

I quickly sat back down beside her, wiping her tears with a fresh tissue I grabbed from the cart next to the bed.

"Do you have anyone else I can call? Any other family or friends in the area?" She shouldn't be alone.

"No," she sniffled. "John and I just moved here. He had me come over first to setup the house whilst he finished the sale of our home down in Florida. I have no one." The tears started again, turning quickly into hard sobs.

"You're wrong Maggie, you have me. I'll stay until your husband gets here. I couldn't leave my favorite patient all alone could I?" I held her hand again. She needed someone here for her. Someone to make sure that nothing else went wrong, someone that _would_ notice any small difference that could end up leading to something dramatic. I could do that for her. I would do that for her. I wouldn't let another mistake, another small insignificant detail turn into something larger.

So I did stay with her. I went with her up to her room. I sat beside her bed and told her of the crazy antics Bailey got up to at home. I told her of how she always seemed to like sleep more than being awake. Of how she chased the toy poodle down the road and nearly tore my arm off as I ran after her the other weekend. I talked and held her hand until exhaustion took over and she fell asleep. I kept checking on her husband's flight. It was on its way but I wouldn't feel safe to leave Maggie's side until I knew he was here. I wouldn't feel right to leave her until I knew she was safe, that I'd gone over every detail from when she came in up until the very minute I noted it down. I wouldn't leave any stone unturned until I knew for certain I'd combed through every single minute detail.

I wouldn't make any mistakes again. I wouldn't take anything for granted.

I couldn't.

I wouldn't fail again.

I'd failed the one person in my life I couldn't live without and I'd nearly lost her because of my failings. I wouldn't let anyone lose their someone because of me. It just wouldn't happen.

I was going over her latest readouts whilst she slept when I heard a soft knock at the door. The steady beat of her heart monitor and the quick thump, thump, thump of the baby's were the only other noises in the room.

Then a familiar frame filled the doorway.

"Son."

I felt my body slink lower in the chair. He knew. Someone must have told him.

"Edward, can I have a moment?" His voice called to me softly.

The guilt of everything that happened today flooded my body.

He knew.

He knew of my failure.

He knew it was my fault.

I didn't want to talk.

I didn't want to admit how wrong I'd been;

My mistakes.

But I got up and walked into the empty hallway with him.

I followed him over to the uncomfortable plastic waiting room chairs and sat beside him after he patted the seat to encourage me.

"Edward, what are you doing here?" His hand lay upon mine.

I crossed my arms, shaking it off.

I wasn't worth his worry either. I wasn't worth anything anymore.

"Her husband's flight was delayed. She hasn't got anyone. I couldn't let her be alone." My voice was soft and steady.

He sighed.

Here it comes, the accusation. The sheer disappointment. I braced myself. I deserved it after all. It was his grandchild my mistakes had lost also.

"Son, she's not your concern. You've done your job. You should be home with Bella. Bella needs you."

I stiffened at his words. They weren't what I'd expected.

"She has Alice. She doesn't need me. She doesn't need a failure." I couldn't say her name. I had no right to say her name anymore. It was me that had caused her all this pain, my fault.

"Edward. You're her husband. Of course she needs you. This wasn't something you could control. This is something you have to deal with together." His hand was on my shoulder now. I could feel my body shaking.

"But it's my fault Dad. I should have noticed. I should have made sure she saw a doctor earlier. I should have seen it. I shouldn't have let it happen in the first place. She's so happy with her job. She's so happy with everything in her life and because of me she's broken dad. I broke her." I wiped at the tears that had unknowingly filled and escaped my eyes.

I kept my focus on the ground. I couldn't handle the look of disappointment I'm sure my father had for me. I was more than disappointed in myself. I was downright disgusted.

I squeezed my hands hard over my knees. I squinted my eyes together tight and willed the sobs to still in my chest. I wasn't allowed any type of release over this. This was my fault and I'd keep feeling like the shit that I was as for as long as it took; my fault.

I felt Dad move from the chair beside me. I couldn't help but feel a little relieved. He hated me too. He blamed me enough that he couldn't even sit beside me anymore. Good. I deserved it, all of it and more.

I jumped as his hands came over mine, his warmth taking me by surprise. I opened my eyes, a little shocked to see the steely look in his as he knelt in front of me.

"Edward Anthony Cullen. You listen up, and you listen well. This. You and Bella loosing the baby. Was NOT YOUR FAULT." I dropped my gaze and focused on a small discoloration on my scrubs.

"Yes it is," I mumbled.

"Look at me son." He paused, waiting for me to raise my head, but I couldn't. It hurt too much to listen to his words. They were all wrong. All those words were wrong.

"Edward. I'm not asking. I'm telling you to look at me. Now." His voice had become sterner now. The kind he used to use when I'd done something worthy of being sent to his office for.

That tone still was enough to make me raise my head. The tears I'd tried to quash earlier were now rolling down my cheeks silently.

"Edward. You couldn't have known. Even Bella didn't find out until her appointment at Dr Rucker's." He'd moved one hand to my shoulder now, steadying me as the silent sobs wracked my frame.

"But…Why didn't she tell me Dad?" I forced the question out that had done nothing but plague me since the beginning. Why? Was she planning on telling me ever? Or was she going to do something about it before even telling me?

"Son, do you think maybe Bella had tried? Or that she might have been worried about what you would think? I've been around you both when your mother brings up how much she'd love a grandchild. I've heard you both agree on waiting till you were more settled in your career. Do you think this might have affected Bella any? That and she is finally happy starting at the magazine. She practically glowed at dinner the other night when she discussed the new book she was reviewing. News of a baby would have been a daunting subject for both of you. Did you even think of giving her the benefit of the doubt?" he finished, his tone soft and soothing.

I still didn't feel like I deserved it, but maybe he was right. Bella and I had discussed children before, like all married couples do. Was she afraid of how I'd react? Didn't she think I'd be a good father or even want to be one? I did want children. The idea of a little bronze haired girl with my sense of balance and Bella's beautiful brown eyes running around our yard was something I had thought about. A little person that I could watch learn and grow. A child that was part of both of us.

Now; now I wouldn't even have a chance.

"My fault; I should have known. She wasn't eating. She was tired all the time. She was sick. I should have known. I should have made her get checked out earlier. There were signs Dad." I rocked forward, leaning my head on his shoulder for support.

"Oh Edward," his hand left my shoulder to stroke my head, running softly over my hair like he did when I was sick as a child.

"You couldn't have known it was going to end this way. There wasn't anything else that could have been done. I've talked with Dr. Laurent. They tried everything Edward. It just wasn't meant to be for you both this time." I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat.

It couldn't be that simple. If nature had helped us get pregnant, why would nature want to take this away?

"But.." I started again, before another sob threatened to break free.

"No son. This was not your fault. Are you listening now Edward?"

"Mine," I mumbled, unable to stop the noise leaving my chest now.

"No Edward. Not your fault. Losing the baby wasn't your fault. It wasn't Bella's fault. It just happened. You need to let it go."

Not my fault, Not Bella's fault.

Bella's loss; Our loss, My loss.

The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. I fell forward into my father's chest, knocking him back as I felt to the floor. His arms wrapped around my frame as my body shook with tears. I gripped my arms around his waist for dear life. I held on.

"Oh my boy. My boy." He repeated over and over, as I let everything go.

It wasn't my fault.

It wasn't Bella's fault.

It just _was._

I cried for thinking I could have changed anything.

I cried for the cowardly way I'd left Bella all alone.

I'd left her when she needed me most because I was selfish and could only think of how her words affected me.

I'd left her.

Suddenly, I couldn't cry anymore.

I'd LEFT her.

This was something that was part of both of us and I'd LEFT her.

Oh god.

How could I have left her?

She was my Bella.

My world.

My life.

And I'd left her in pain to deal with our loss on her own.

Alice wasn't what she needed.

She needed me as much as I knew, and felt in my bones, that all I needed right now was her.

I sat back, wiping my eyes.

"Go. I'll look after your patient. Go home." My father nodded, wiping at the wet marks on his own face before standing and pulling me to my feet.

I hugged him hard. He was my Dad and I owed him so much.

"Thank you Dad. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for wanting me. Thank you Dad," I whispered in his ear.

"You're my son Edward. I'd do anything for you. One day you'll get to say the same to your own. Now go." He held me tightly once more before letting me go.

I sprinted down the hall, without a second glance.

I was going home.

I needed to make things right.

It was raining on the drive home. It had felt like the short drive from the hospital to our house was actually double in length. The rain had turned into a light drizzle as I pulled into our drive. Alice's familiar yellow sports car was parked on one side. The sun was already coming up again. I'd left her for this long…I'd spend a lifetime making this up to her. If only she'd give me the chance.

I'd run up to our front door, before I'd even managed to put my key in the lock, the door opened.

Alice.

"Cullen, I don't think now is the best time for this shit."

I took a deep breath. I'd need it. This was her best friend and by the look on Alice's face she was itching for round two of kicking my ass.

The first time I deserved it.

I probably deserved more now.

But I was here and I wanted, NEEDED to see my wife.

"Alice I need to see Bella."

Her eyes flashed along with the lightning outside.

Her lip was doing that corner twitch thing that I'd seen her do before she smacked some over eager barfly when we'd all gone out together years ago;

Not a good sign.

Because there weren't any barflies around;

Only me,

And I NEEDED to see my wife.

"You _need_ to see your _wife_? Did I hear you right Edward? What make you think _she_ wants to SEE YOU!"

"She's hurting. I'm hurting. She's my responsibility Alice. I'll never be able to thank you for what you've done whilst I couldn't. But she's my wife and I'm here."

Alice's hand twitched at her side. How to get her to hear me out and let me in before she decided to take a swing at me was going to be a problem.

"YOUR WIFE? YOUR RESPONSIBILITY? . . . Fuck Edward; that would have been nice to hear what . . .," Alice looked at her non existent watch, "Almost two fucking days ago! Now all of a sudden your conscience eats at you and _you_ decide you want to do the right thing; real fucking nice Edward! Do you know what it's been like here? Do you have ANY idea how fucking hard it's been to watch my best friend in self destruction mode because her asshole husband can't get his shit together? You're a pussy Edward, Grade A Fucking pussy."

"I know I am. I know what I did is more than likely unforgivable in your eyes Alice. Even in Bella's. I know I didn't deal with everything the way I should have…But I can't change what I have done. I can only be here now. It's been hard for me too." I didn't even get a chance to continue on. Alice was buzzing in place, her anger at me all consuming as her words rang out loudly around me.

"Fuck you Edward, FUCK YOU! I don't fucking hate you, I wish I could, but I can't…I am just so fucking mad at you right now . . . I want to stomp your arrogant face into the ground, no . . ." Alice paced a little before stopping and narrowing her eyes at me, "That's what you would want, it would make you feel better about yourself. If you hurt half as much as Bella does right now you would be on the ground curled up like a fucking puppy with it's tail between it's legs. WHY? Why did you run away Edward?"

"Because it was my fault Alice! I should have known something was going on. I put it down to stress from her new job, I put it down to me working long hours. Everything I had an answer for but this. And believe me Alice. Nothing can make me feel better about what I've done. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself let alone hope that others can forgive me, but this is something that happened to me and Bella Alice…I'm here and I need my wife." I hadn't even noticed my voice raise to echo the tone of hers. I wasn't here to yell at Alice. She'd helped when I couldn't. I owed her as much as anyone else.

She was back to pacing…At least it wasn't hitting. I noticed her hand twitch in my direction every now and then. I took a deep breath before I continued.

"Alice. Believe me. I've done nothing but blame myself since I saw Bella on that bed calling out to me. That's all I've been doing. I couldn't cope with it and I ran. I know what type of man you think I am Alice. I wish I could say you were wrong, but you aren't. I still need to see Bella. We have to talk."

"That's all well and good but the question is does she _need_ to see you? What make you think I'm out here for my own benefit Edward. You think I have her tied up in the half bath so she can't come out here and talk to you?" Alice stopped and planted her right hand on her hip, the other pointed at me. "Have you even considered that? Have you even thought that she may never want to see you again; can you even conceive what you did to her? You stand there making me out to be the bad guy, when all I want is my best friend to be happy, to smile again, if you're what makes that happen, so be it, if not, I will stand behind her 100%... For now though you need to leave, or I will call Jacob to remove you."

"I'm not leaving Alice. I've left her once. I'll never do it again." I could stand my ground too. Nothing was stopping me from seeing Bella.

Nothing.

"If you can't give her a little more time, Edward . . . well, I'm sorry, I'm going to have to have you removed. All she needs is time and if you can't give her that . . . well you can add selfish a couple hundred more times to the list of your infractions . . ." Alice shook her head in disappointment. It was obvious she expected more from me as a person.

"I'll give her time if that's what she wants Alice. I'll give her space, I'll wait for as long as she wants me to, but I want to hear it from her. You've done an unbelievable job of looking after her whilst I couldn't, but I'm here. I'm not leaving until she tells me to go."

I sighed, holding Alice's gaze with my own. She had to understand how sorry I was and how much I wanted to make it better. Alice had to let me talk to Bella, even if it was just for Bella to yell and rage against me.

I'd take it.

I'd take ALL of it.

Because I left her when she needed me.

But I'm here now. I'm here for her to do all those things to so we can work this out together. We need to work it out together.

I need to see my Bella.

"Please Alice. Just let me see her. Just let me talk to her for a moment then I'll go. But I need to see her."

"I will ask her one last time Edward, if she says no, I'm calling Jacob. I know you love her and I know you know you fucked, but I am here for her alone right now, I know you can appreciate that."

Alice disappeared inside leaving me standing hopelessly in the rain waiting for something, anything. Would she want to talk to me? The minutes ticked by like an eternity, when Alice finally stepped outside, I knew the answer; I could see it in her eyes.

"I'm sorry Edward, she's just not ready, she'll find you when she wants to talk. I can't give you any more than that."

The bottom of my whole world just dropped out.

She doesn't want to talk to me.

Fine.

I'd talk.

I'd tell her how sorry I was.

I'd shout it from the rooftops until she heard me.

Starting now.

"Please Alice; just a few seconds."

"Just fuck off and leave her alone Edward! I'm calling Jake... I just can't handle this on my own."

With that, she slammed the door closed in my face.

Fuck.

"BELLA!"

I wasn't leaving.

"BELLA!"

I had no where else to go.

"BELLA!"

I raised my fist and pounded on the door. She was in there. She could hear me. I could hear her sobbing. She needed me and I needed her. This was our loss and something that only we could get each other through.

"Bella!"

Nothing.

"BELLA!" I screamed louder.

Still nothing.

I hit the door again, letting go of every little bit of truth Alice had just thrown at me.

It was my fault; I left her. I was a coward. I should have stayed.

I was here now though, and I wasn't leaving again.

Ever.

But she needed to open the door.

Screw Jake. Screw her brother and her Dad.

I was her husband and I would make this right for us. I would put us back together. I would help her deal with this, and whatever else came from it.

But she needed to open the door.

I pounded and pounded.

Nothing. Not even Alice yelling at me to leave or move away.

Nothing.

The silence petrified me.

"Please," I begged.

It felt like hours that I'd been begging. I'd collapsed to the ground a long time ago. My legs were numb. My whole body was numb. The pain in my heart had taken over everywhere right along with the fear that she may never forgive me for leaving her.

My knuckles were raw and bleeding.

My throat felt like I had shards of glass in there every time I swallowed.

I couldn't give up.

Not again; not now after all of this.

"Please baby. Please. I'm so sorry I left you. Please baby."

Still nothing.

She wasn't coming out.

She wasn't going to forgive me.

I'd lost our baby and because I couldn't deal with it. I'd lost us and her too.

"Please," I whispered once more, letting my hand rest against the cool of the wood once more.

I could feel her there. It was like her hand was on the other side. A link to the woman I loved and had completely deserted when she needed me most. I felt that electric pull like when she was always around. I knew she could hear me. She had been there for all of this.

She really wasn't going to open the door. She wasn't coming out. I'd lost her.

I took in one long shaky breath.

Maybe it was best if I go. She'd want time like Alice had said. Time.

But how much?

Space.

But how far?

I pressed my forehead to the door.

"I'll go Bella. I'll give you what you need." My mouth opened and closed over more words that right now hurt too much. Felt too much like goodbye to say.

So, I said them in my head, poured them through my hand and hopefully to her on the other side.

_I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me._

Then I did the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

I pushed off the door,

Stepped off the front porch,

And onto the grass.

Every step, every movement toward the car felt like walking through quicksand, like every step was taking me away from where I wanted to be.

I was crying so loud and hard I didn't hear the door crack open.

I didn't hear her soft feet on the wet grass as the thunder rolled in the heavens.

But I did feel her hand on my arm, pulling me around.

I did hear her voice.

I would know it anywhere.

"Edward…"

I turned and pulled her quickly into my arms.

Both of us shaking with our grief.

The rain soaking us wet to the bone.

It poured down, mingling with the tears that flowed freely down both of our faces.

I pressed my lips to her forehead, her thin arms gripping me around my waist; holding me up as I held her.

I couldn't take it anymore.

I fell to the ground in front of her.

My face lay pressed into her stomach.

"Our baby."

The only words I could say.

The only words she needed to hear to understand that I finally got what it meant.

We stood there in the rain. Letting it wash over us as we grieved for our loss. Grieved for the part of us that we couldn't get back. Let go of something we didn't know we wanted until it was gone.

Our baby.

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A/N: Ok, so……yeah, I'm sure you are all in tears now, because the three of us were when this chapter was finished. I hope that this chapter provided you with a little bit of closure on the whole Edward running away part of the storyline. He wasn't mad at Bella, he just didn't know how to handle the situation, I am not saying that he was right, because obviously he was being a prick, but not you understand that he was not leaving her, he was having trouble coping with the situation. Everyone deals with stress and heartbreak differently, and he threw himself into his work to try to deal with it, and he felt that he wasn't worthy enough to comfort Bella because he didn't prevent the situation. He likes to be in control, and by losing a child that he never knew was coming, it turned his world upside down. Ok, done with my explanation now.  
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**Go Alice and her momma bear tendencies! L & C are geniuses!**

**Next up, Bella, it's gonna be a tear jerker too, so brace yourselves. After you have used all your tissues, show miztrezboo some love. She did an amazing job on this chapter and anxiously awaits your reviews!**

**Don't forget to come play on the Socks for Sex thread on the twilighted forum.....we have pretty gifs to share....:D**


	25. Disorientation, Delusions and Reunions

**Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight….but I do have lots of Kleenex in my linen closet….**

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Disorientation, Delusions and Reunions**

**BPOV**

I woke up feeling disoriented with the throbbing sensation in my wrist being the only reminder that what happened to me was not just a dream. Wiping the sleep from my eyes, I winced as my fingertip came into contact with the tender tissue, because apparently hysterical crying isn't very good for your skin.

Alice was lying on her side in front of me, hugging the comforter securely to her chest with a small grin on her face. I hated that she wouldn't go home and just leave me to my wallowing. No amount of girl time was going to bring my husband back to me. I had ruined our marriage and lost our child all in one day, and nothing she could say or do was going to make it better.

I kept thinking about yesterday, I dreamt about it, well, had nightmares actually, about the look on his face, he looked so angry, but then it turned into something else, he was hurt, I knew he was, and he just turned and pulled away from me. All I wanted was for him to come back and tell me that it was all going to be ok, and he just left. He didn't want me anymore, I ruined it, I let myself get pregnant.

The baby, my little tiny baby, it was gone, and there was nothing I would ever be able to do about it. At least if I wouldn't have lost it, I would have had a piece left of him. Why did he leave? Was it because I didn't tell him, god, I tried, was I just supposed to blurt it out in front of the entire hospital?

How had everything managed to fall apart in a matter of days?

Two freaking days ago we were happy, he loved me, he was taking care of me, talking to me again, we were spending time together again like we use to. I thought I had _my_ Edward back, the one I fell in love with. Now I didn't know what I had.

I lost my child, I lost my husband, my family is busy with the new addition, who I probably won't even be able to look at without crying, I broke my wrist because I am not even capable of standing upright, my best friend has fallen in love, and even though she is lying directly in front of me, I know that she isn't really with me. How can I blame her for that, she's finally happy, and Jasper is amazing.

I took in several deep breaths and tried to fight off the tears that seemed to be coming in waves. I hated this, how had it all gone so wrong? Maybe if I would have just eased up on him, god, no, he was an insufferable asshole a month ago, and now he was gone.

_What the hell!_

The tears rolled down my cheeks as the weight of everything sunk in, no amount of planning would have done anything to prevent any of this, it just happened, and all of it was horrible. It was horrible that I lost my child, the child I had finally come to terms with, my husband had left for reasons not entirely clear to me, and I didn't know if he was even going to come back. What was I going to say to him if he did?

_I'm sorry for losing the child I never told you about. _

_Where in the hell have you been you asshole?_

It was always one extreme or the other, anger or sadness, nothing else, and even the anger made me want to cry.

Large, salty tears streamed down my cheeks as I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around myself, bringing my knees up to my chest. I knew that I was going to wake Alice up, but at this point I didn't care, I couldn't handle this anymore, it was all too much. I just wanted to erase the past week of my life.

I wanted to go back and tell Edward the second he got home from work on Thursday, I wanted to have Emmett home earlier so he could take Rosalie to the hospital, I wanted to be here, in my bed, with Edward wrapped around me talking about our child.

I never realized how much I really did want to be a mother before. It had never seemed real before, I mean I knew that I wanted a child, sometime, in the future, but to have it literally ripped out of my grasp as soon as it was dropped into my hands was just so totally unfair.

My hands migrated down to my flat stomach and I cried even harder when I realized that there wasn't anything in there now. I didn't even get to really say goodbye, not that it was big enough yet, but it was just there one minute, and not the next. I never got a say, I never got to tell anyone that it was what I wanted, it was just there, and then gone.

Sort of ironic, one minute I had a husband and a possible baby, and the next, gone.

My sobs were coming in mixed with gasps as I let myself completely breakdown. I had been trying to fight it, trying to tell myself that I could handle this, that it would all be alright, but it wasn't and I knew that it wasn't and yet there was nothing I could even do about it.

Warm tiny hands ran over my cheeks, wiping up the wetness that was covering them and I could hear her whispering comforting things in my ear, tying to get me to calm down, I knew that I was borderline hysterical at this point, but I couldn't stop.

All the raw emotions of everything was just pouring out of me as I began to whimper, my frame shaking as I could feel the wetness seeping into Edward's shirt on my chest.

"Shhh, it's alright, just let it go, it's ok," Alice whispered in my ear as she maneuvered herself behind me and sat up against the headboard with my head in her lap.

"I…..I just……I don't know……he's gone, it's gone……" I sobbed as she stroked my hair and let me cry onto her lap.

It was all pouring out of me, every ounce of sadness, anger, the hurt I was feeling, along with the betrayal. I never in a million years thought that Edward would ever abandon me like this. I thought I knew him, really knew him, and he loved me, I knew he did.

I was shaking, and half choking on my own tears as I continued to sob into Alice's lap. She didn't say anything else; she just covered me with the comforter and let me cry. I just needed to feel something, last night I was just so numb, I couldn't process it. Even in the bathtub, I just sat there, soaking, thinking, not feeling, I didn't _feel_ anything. I felt empty. I still feel empty, and so sad. I just….there are no words. There are no words for something like this.

Grieving for something that you never really had a tangible hold on is so confusing, and it makes the loss even more profound when you had finally formed a bond with something like that. I was imagining the swollen belly, the nursery, the tiny little child with Edward's green eyes.

Images of the life I could have had were flashing through my brain as I continued to cry, I could have been happy, I could have been a mother. Was that even possible for me now?

I wanted to go to Edward and just shake him, tell him to love me, tell him not to leave me ever again. He hadn't even been gone a day, and I knew I could never survive this without him. I couldn't lose him because of this; I wouldn't be able to get over this without him. It was his child too, our child, the baby we made together, out of love. I had been so concerned with him showing his affection towards me in a physical way that I had forgotten about that part, the love part. I had always just wanted him to love me.

Did he love me still?

What was he doing, what was he thinking? Was he mad, was he sad too?

I knew that he was just trying to protect himself, hiding behind his walls. The walls I had tried so hard to infiltrate when I first met him. It took me years to join him behind those walls, and now I was standing on the outside again. He was pushing me out, pushing me away, and I didn't know how to get back in.

What if he never let me back in?

As I contemplated this, I just cried harder, not knowing what the future held for me anymore. Would he move out? Was this the end? What was I going to do?

If he left me, if this was truly it, then I had absolutely no idea what reason I would have to live for. Edward was it for me, the one, I knew that, with all my heart, and if he was gone, I would be left an empty shell of a person.

I heard him yelling at Alice in the hallway when I was waking up…..he just kept saying _I can't_…..I can't, I can't, I just can't…..

Can't what?

Can't be with me anymore? Can't believe I didn't tell him about the baby? Can't deal with it?

_Can't what Edward, can't fucking What?!_

I knew that my father went after him. Was he lying in a hospital bed somewhere?

My father had a short temper when he was pushed, if Edward pushed, police officer be damned, Charlie would hit him, I was certain of it. Should I ask Alice if she knew what happened?

The tears were forming a little slower as I tried to force myself to breathe. I felt like my chest had been ripped open. I was in so much pain, not just physical discomfort, emotional pain, the kind of pain that you don't get over; the kind of pain that haunts you.

"Bella?" Alice whispered as I resituated myself on her lap and wiped the tears away from my cheeks.

"Hmmm," I responded, my throat was dry from the crying and I didn't even know if I could form words.

"You know I'm here, for the long haul, right?"

I nodded and sniffled, trying to pull myself up to sit next to her against the padding on the headboard.

"Thank you," I whispered, my voice rough and hoarse. I didn't even sound like myself.

"I love you Bella, it'll be alright, we'll make sure that everything is alright." It sounded like she was trying to reassure herself more than me. I knew that she was trying to be strong for me, and I really appreciated it, but between the two of us, I had always been the stronger one.

We sat there for an immeasurable amount of time, my sniffling and hiccupping and her rubbing her tiny hand over my knee reassuringly. I was swimming in Edward's clothes, but I didn't care, they made me feel better, even though they were clean and didn't smell like him. I wanted to yell at Alice for sleeping on his pillow, but that was ridiculous, she was here, he wasn't, she didn't deserve that from me.

As I continued to run everything through my tired mind, the numbness started to seep back in. That feeling of emptiness that you get when you are overly tired, or mentally exhausted, which I was both, and I realized that no amount of crying or being hysterical was going to make this better. Nothing was, something died, some_one_ died, and that was a loss that I was going to have to carry with me forever. Even if Edward did come back, even if we did eventually have other children, I would still feel that loss. That loss of the child I never got to love, the one I never got to meet, the one that was just taken from me.

I never understood why Esme was so sad when she talked about Edward being an only child. I knew that she had several failed pregnancies when Edward was little, but I just thought that it was something that happened. Early miscarriages never seemed to be a real concept to me. I mean, if it was your baby who died, one who was flesh and blood, who you held in your arms, I could understand that, the loss was tangible. When it involved a baby that hadn't even really had a chance to grow, one that was not even born yet, I didn't see it as a loss before now.

Now, I see that, losing a child no matter when or how it happens is devastating. It throws your whole world into disarray. I don't even know how Esme dealt with that while raising a toddler. I can't even imagine me dealing with it, I still don't know what I am going to do when I get out of this bed.

I know I can't stay here forever, I have a job, and a family, but right now I can't even fathom going to work and not breaking down into tears in my cubicle. Every time I even see a pregnant woman I know I'll cry; I'll cry for what I was deprived of.

How do women who go through this even think about having another child? I would be so scared, what if it happened again?

My stomach growled loudly, startling me back from my practically catatonic state leaning on Alice's shoulder.

"Hungry?" she asked in a small voice as she leaned away from me, my head slumping against the headboard.

"I guess," I mumbled, I didn't really feel hungry, but my body obviously disagreed with me.

Alice climbed out of the bed and held a hand out towards me, raising her eyebrow when I frowned at her. I didn't want to move, this bed was my sanctuary, I could hide here and forget about the rest of the world.

"Come on," she demanded, grabbing my hand and jerking me across the mattress.

I squeaked when my cast smacked into the bed, and my wrist began to throb again as I held it up to my chest, giving Alice a dirty look.

"Don't look at me like that, you are getting out of this bed, and if your are nice, I might give you your drugs," she huffed as she put her hands on her hips, waiting for me to move.

"Fine," I grumbled as I scooted my way across the mattress, the scrub pants pulling down as I tried to throw my legs over the edge of the bed.

Alice held her hand out and I held onto it with my good one as I stood up. I reached down and tightened the drawstring before I followed her out of the room, and Bailey raced up the steps when she saw us coming.

She must have stayed downstairs all night waiting for Edward. She hated going to bed without both of us. I knew the feeling, I hated going to bed without him too, I guess I had better get use to it.

When I reached the bottom of the stairs, Bailey jumped up on my legs and used to me stretch like she always did, but I was sore, so I kneed her and she jumped down and gave me a hurt look.

I knew I shouldn't take out my sour mood on the dog, but she didn't seem to understand the concept of personal space, and she was only going to make me angry.

"So what do you want? Breakfast? Lunch? It's um…..wow….one o'clock," Alice said as she poked her head in the refrigerator.

"I don't care," I said as I took a seat at the island and rested my forehead on the cool granite of the countertop. My whole body felt like crap, and I was sore everywhere, my arm, my stomach, my legs, and my face was sore from all the crying.

"Um, eggs?" she asked holding up a carton of eggs in front of her.

"Do you even know how to cook eggs, Alice?" I mumbled, not bothering to look up.

"Hey, give me some credit, I am not completely useless in the kitchen," she scoffed as she set the carton down on the counter in front of me.

She started opening cupboards, probably looking for a pan, so I figured I should probably help her out.

"Door to the right of the stove, shelf in the back, get the medium sized one. There is shredded cheese in the bottom drawer on the right, maybe some ham too."

My voice was still thick, but she was right, I did need to eat something, if I didn't the pain medication was just going to make me sick. I had more than enough throwing up in the last few weeks to last me for awhile, so I was not looking forward to more. I was already feeling the dry cottonmouth that the oxycontin was giving me, and I hoped that it would be the worst of the side effects.

"Um, scrambled?" she asked timidly as I could hear her cracking an egg into one of my glass mixing bowls.

I lifted my face up from the counter and attempted to nod before resting my chin on it. I knew that Alice would be able to make scrambled eggs without my help, so I fought the urge to try and help her, although I feared for the safety of my anodized frying pan.

Ten minutes, and only one burned attempt at cheesy scrambled eggs later, Alice was shoving a plate in front of me and instructing me to eat. I appreciated the effort, and the fact that she was not letting me sit around and cry _all_ day, but all I really wanted was to be left alone. Alice was already missing work for me, and I didn't want her to put her life on hold for me.

"Alice?" I said as she began to load he dishes into the dishwasher once we were done eating.

"Bella?"

"Don't you um, need to go home and at least get your car or something?"

"Are you trying to get rid of me Bella?" she joked as she turned around with the dirty frying pan in her hand.

"No, I am really happy you are here, but I don't want you staying here because you think you have to. I'll be fine by myself for a few hours, I promise you wont come back to me with my wrists slit in the bathtub or anything."

"Bella…." She warned. Alice hated it when I made jokes like that, saying it wasn't funny to joke about suicide, but at this point, the morbid sense of humor that was coming out amidst the numbness was all I had to work with.

"Seriously Alice, just go home for a few hours and then come back if you want to. I'll be on my best behavior."

"Are you really sure you should be alone right now?" she asked as she walked around the island and ran her hand down my matted hair.

"I'll be fine, seriously, Bailey will keep me company."

"Alright, but you call me the second you need me back here," she said sternly. "And don't feel like you need to answer the phone or the doorbell or anything. I know you aren't ready to see people."

I knew exactly what she meant by _people_, Edward; I wasn't ready to see Edward.

Alice really did a number on him in the hospital, I didn't hear everything, but from what I did hear, he would be lucky if he had his balls still intact when he saw her again.

I wanted to be mad at him, right now, I kind of wanted to choke him, but I knew deep down, that the second I saw him again, I would be helpless, I love him. I could never stay away from him. There was very little that he could actually do to keep me away, the only thing I could never forgive him for was cheating, and he knew that. He always told me that I was more than enough, that I was the only woman he had ever, and would ever love.

I knew he would come back to me, the question was, what would he want from me when he did? Could we come back from something like this?

"Bella?" Alice shot me an amused smile as she waved her hand in front of my face.

"Yes Alice?"

"Just wanted to make sure you were still in there," she mused as she placed a tiny pill and a glass of water in front of me on the kitchen island.

"Yay drugs," I murmured as I took my pain pill.

"Bella, I think I am going to have Jacob come and get me. I'll be back in a few hours, but I think you are right, I need to take care of some things at home."

I nodded, and she sighed as I placed my cheek against the cool granite and continued staring off into space. I hoped that the painkillers would kick in soon because it would keep me from feeling anything for awhile. The numbness was still there, but the constant throb of my broken wrist was reminding me that the pain was just under the surface.

Jacob arrived twenty minutes later and insisted in on basically crushing me with a hug. By the time he picked me up, my drugs were completely in my system, so I couldn't stop giggling.

"Are you high Bells?" Jacob asked as he set me back down onto my stool.

"Um….maybe?" I answered before I laid my head on the countertop beside me.

Jacob turned to Alice and asked her, "Are you sure that we should leave her alone like this?"

They both looked at me, and the goofy grin that had taken up residence on my face, and Alice shrugged her shoulders.

"Maybe we should take her upstairs," Alice told Jacob as she let Bailey inside from the backyard.

Bailey ran to the front door and sniffed around in circles, obviously looking for Edward, and I frowned, because she wanted to see him more than me.

"Bastard dog," I grumbled as Jacob came up behind me and scooped me up into his arms.

"You're warm," I told him as he chuckled and carried me up the stairs to my bedroom.

He laid me down on the bed and pulled the covers up over me, kissing me on the forehead and sighing.

"Be good druggie, I'll send her back soon," he said before he walked out the bedroom door towards the stairs.

Alice set my cell phone down on the nightstand and kissed me on the cheek.

"Call me if you need me, I mean it. And don't feel like you have to get up if someone calls or comes to the door."

"Thank you," I whispered before I closed my eyes and drifted off into a drug-induced sleep.

*****

"Bella," My head was swimming from the deep sleep. The small voice was like a rock concert in my bedroom. My head was pounding, I stirred uncomfortably, there had to be some kind of button to turn off that noise.

I waved my arm around and felt the weight and the sickening pain shoot through my arm. Then it all came flooding back to me. Hitting me like a freight train and almost knocking the wind out of me.

"Bella, shh," Alice's voice was right beside my head now as she brushed strands of hair from my face. "It's okay,"

Why the hell was she waking me up now? I just wanted to sleep and forget about all of this. The darkness had provided me with a thick blanket of denial, I wanted to hold onto that, grasp at it with both hands and hold it over myself.

A thousand emotions ran through me but I couldn't settle on just one, they all hurt too much.

"Why?" I groaned, trying to remember how to move my limbs. My head was throbbing even harder as I moved.

"You were calling out in your sleep, and you need to take your other pill. The doctor also said that you could suffer from cotton mouth."

I ran my tongue along the roof of my mouth and found that it was indeed dry. I hadn't even noticed, I was still numb from . . .well, everything. Alice handed me a glass of water and two small pills and leaned forward brushing her thumb under my eyes.

Tears, I hadn't even realized they'd been there. I took a sip of the water first and found that it did indeed make me feel the tiniest bit better; I threw the pills in the back of my throat before draining off the last of it. It actually made the headache fade a little.

"How long have I been out?" I croaked edging up onto my elbows and squinting at my best friend. "Didn't Jacob take you home?"

I thought I remembered Jacob being here. It was hazy and a little foggy, but I was sure I had seen him. Alice offered me her hand and I gave her my good one so she could pull up into a sitting position.

I looked around, nothing hand changed but I hadn't really expected it to. Looking around all his things were still in exactly the place that they had been. I guess that was good, he didn't move out while I was sleeping at least.

"I've been gone for a while, almost four hours I think," I widened my eyes to look at her. Her hair was perfect but to my surprise no make up and she was wearing something resembling sweats.

"Four hours?"

"Four. Whole. Hours. Now get your ass up and moving, it'll make you feel better."

"I wasn't aware you'd received your PhD."

"Bella, I am warning you, I may be small but I will not hesitate to pull your ass out of this bed. I love you, and I won't let you wallow in you own shit. Now get up, I ordered Chinese, and rented some movies."

"Alice, I . . ."

Her look cut me off, and if I was being honest she was right, I couldn't sit here and rot because of what had happened no matter how much I wanted to. I had lost everything, but this was her way of telling me I still had her and things would be okay, life would go on. I was breathing, even if it was painful to do right now.

"What did you get?" I said sliding off the bed and pulling one of the throws off with me.

"Orange Chicken, Beef Lo Mien, those Egg rolls you like and sweet and sour pork." She listed off knowing full well that's not what I was referring to.

"Fine," she rolled her eyes, "The first two seasons of Dharma and Greg."

She was bringing out the big guns. I had expected Monty Python, Will and Grace, friends, South Park, even dead like me; but Dharma and Greg meant she was in cheer up mode.

Without complaining, I huddled up on the couch next to her and pulled my throw over me, she started the DVD before heading into the kitchen to make us both plates of food. She brought me a bottle of water with it.

I had to give it to her; she was a great help and a better friend for suffering through this with me. Yet, I still craved the company of my husband, even after all of this mess.

I eventually lay down with my head in her lap drifting in and out of sleep as Alice giggled at the television. Normally, I would be giggling right along side her, and even now, I found myself smiling at some of the antics Jenna Elfman got herself into. German tourists never failed to make me smile.

It just wasn't enough, my heart hurt; it felt constricted and tight in my chest. The pressure and pain made the tears well in my eyes again but I was careful not to let it show.

"You still awake?" Alice whispered, her hand running through the rat's nest I was currently calling hair.

"Mmm."

"Hagen Daaz?"

I smiled, and nodded.

"I got you double chocolate chip," she giggled, gently moving my head from her lap. She disappeared into the kitchen as I tried to force myself into a sitting position. My arm was beginning to throb.

We ate in relative silence, my eyes stayed glued to the TV and I couldn't really taste what I was eating, just the thick cold consistency as it eased down my throat. I was wasted and in pain, and not in the mood to socialize.

"You're ready for another pain pill, aren't you," Alice stated rather than questioned.

I nodded, I couldn't help myself, I needed to take all the pain and doubt away, I needed to take the thoughts away, anything. Was it wrong to want to block out the pain?

Alice cleaned the mess we'd made before holding out her free hand to me, in her other hand she had a bottle of water and pills.

"Come on, time to sleep."

"I'm sorry Alice," I stuttered following her to the stairs, I'm just exhausted.

She gave me a sympathetic smile and led me upstairs, pushing me into the bathroom; I brushed my teeth going through the motions of my usual routine, knowing that it was another step back. I hated this, I hated that I would sleep another night without him beside me, without knowing what he was thinking, if he was planning on leaving. If he even loved me anymore.

"You're gonna get wrinkles, Bella," Alice sighed, dancing in with her toothbrush in hand.

I nodded and shuffled myself into the bedroom.

"The pills and water are on the nightstand."

"Thanks Ali."

She just smiled and finished doing what she needed to do while I perched on the edge of the bed and picked up the water and pills. I threw them down and drank as much as I could before settling into the large bed. Alice turned out the lights and crawled in beside me picking up my hand.

"It'll be okay, Bells."

I hoped she was right, the outlook was still dim and I couldn't shake this feeling of oppression, I had always seen Edward in my future, and I didn't know what to do without him.

I lay in the darkness and waited silently for the pills to kick in. Alice's hand in my own was comforting, just knowing there was someone beside me helped. The darkness finally came, and with it, I hoped it would bring a change.

*****

I was sitting on the edge of a beaten wooden bench, looking out over the water, watching the waves crashing in from the Sound. I had been here before, it was in a park not far from Edward's parent's house, and I was just enjoying the breaking dawn, the sun filtering through the cluster of trees near the water.

I could only hear the sounds of the water, along with the birds that were flying around over the water. It was a surprisingly calm morning as I sat contemplatively relaxing on the bench.

The slight fluttering in my stomach didn't surprise me as much now as it first had and I held a hand up to my abdomen to feel my daughter stir. It was a surreal feeling knowing that there was a child inside of you, but it made me happy to know that I was keeping her safe from the world for the time being.

I didn't feel the bench shift as I was sitting there with my eyes closed, but when another large hand joined mine, I smiled knowing that he could feel her moving now too.

"She's active today, love," he whispered in my ear as he tucked my hair behind my ear and kissed my neck.

We had gone through so much to get here, and it was nice to know that he was still with me as we got closer and closer to the day when our family would be one member larger. Evan was getting impatient with me, he was insistent that he needed someone to play with, even though I couldn't seem to convince the two year old that he wouldn't be able to play with the baby for a while.

He also didn't like the fact that his new cousin was going to be a girl, because his father had already taught him that boys are more fun to play sports with. He was the spitting image of his father, curly hair, mischievous dimples, but his piercing blue eyes still set him apart.

"I love you Bella, only you, always you," he whispered as he brought his other arm around my shoulder and pulled me in close to him.

We sat there for a long time, watching the sun come up, the water calmed down as the day brightened, and it seemed that we would be spared from the oppressive rain for today, at least that is how it appeared. The weather in Washington was anything but predictable, so we could be drenched from head to toe any moment.

As if to summon Mother Nature herself, a crash of thunder pulled me out of my state of relaxation, and Edward helped me to my feet as we headed to where his car was parked along the dirt path that led to the water.

"Let's get my girls home before we get soaked," he mused as the rain began to mist down on us.

He helped me into the car and immediately reached out to grab my hand as we were headed back to the main road that led towards the Cullen house.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back on the headrest as the quiet of the car, and listening to the rain patter down on the roof of the car helped me get back to my relaxed state.

Edward remained quiet as we made our way back, but a sound from somewhere off in the distance captured my attention. A small whimpering noise startled me and I could feel wetness on my hand as my eyes tried to flutter open.

As I opened my eyes, the car around me had seemed to dissolve and I was seated on the side of the bed in the hospital room again. The familiar black cast still very much on my hand and up the lower portion of my forearm.

The round bump of my stomach was gone as I realized that it had all been an illusion. Alice was looking at me expectantly with a sad smile, appraising me.

I shook my head trying to dispel my confusion, and I could see the flash of bronze hair in the doorway again, his back turned to me, his muscles tense as he opened the door and left again, always leaving.

I tried to get up, but I was stuck, I couldn't go after him, and I could hear thunder crackling outside.

The whimpering noise got louder as I closed my eyes and I could feel tears leaking out of the corner of my eyes, but there was still the wetness on my hand.

Everything became fuzzy as the noises of the hospital were drowned out by the rain, I could hear voices, they were familiar, but I couldn't tell what they were saying. Someone was angry, and I recognized the voice, but I was startled when I heard her scream.

"YOUR WIFE? YOUR RESPONSIBILITY?"

Alice was angry again, it was different this time though, we weren't in the hospital anymore, she was farther away.

I tried to force my eyes open, but the room was dark, and the whimpering was still there.

My muscles protested as I pushed myself up and Bailey burrowed into my side, hiding from the thunder. She was licking my hand, and when I reached down to pet the side of her head, she climbed up my stomach and began licking my neck.

The voices downstairs were getting louder as I looked over at the clock and realized that it was just after five in the morning. I must have fallen asleep again after Alice came back last night. I didn't really remember much after she gave me my second pain pill.

"Fuck you Edward, FUCK YOU!" she screamed and I decided that I needed to go downstairs since he was here. I didn't know if I was ready to see him, but I might be able to diffuse Alice before the situation got out of hand.

As I slowly climbed down the staircase, wincing when I tried to run my casted hand down the railing, Edward's pained voice carried up the stairs to me.

"Because it was my fault Alice! I should have known something was going on. I put it down to stress from her new job, I put it down to me working long hours. Everything I had an answer for but this. And believe me Alice. Nothing can make me feel better about what I've done. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself let alone hope that others can forgive me, but this is something that happened to me and Bella. Alice…I'm here and I need my wife."

He thought it was his fault? He needed me? If he needed me so much, then why did he leave? None of this makes sense, why was he doing this?

I managed to make it to the base of the steps and sat down, with my head in my hands as I continued to listen to them yell at each other.

"Alice. Believe me. I've done nothing but blame myself since I saw Bella on that bed calling out to me. That's all I've been doing. I couldn't cope with it and I ran. I know what type of man you think I am Alice. I wish I could say you were wrong, but you aren't. I still need to see Bella. We have to talk."

What did he want to talk to me about? He left; he made it clear he didn't want to be there. I couldn't understand him.

The tears continued to roll down my cheeks as Alice and Edward went at it on the porch. I had never heard her so angry before, she was defending me, and I appreciated it, but I hated the fact that I needed protection from my own husband.

"That's all well and good but the question is does she _need_ to see you? What make you think I'm out here for my own benefit Edward. You think I have her tied up in the half bath so she can't come out here and talk to you? Have you even considered that? Have you even thought that she may never want to see you again; can you even conceive what you did to her? You stand there making me out to be the bad guy, when all I want is my best friend to be happy, to smile again, if you're what makes that happen, so be it, if not, I will stand behind her 100%... For now though you need to leave, or I will call Jacob to remove you."

"I'm not leaving Alice. I've left her once. I'll never do it again."

I was gasping and choking on my tears as his words sunk in, he said he wasn't leaving again. I should have been happy to hear that, but it wasn't that easy. He didn't just leave me physically, he left me emotionally too, torn open, ragged, and devastated lying on that hospital bed. My wrist would heal, but the scars on my heart might not. I couldn't bear to lose my husband again; I had already lost my child.

"If you can't give her a little more time, Edward . . . well, I'm sorry, I'm going to have to have you removed. All she needs is time and if you can't give her that . . . well you can add selfish a couple hundred more times to the list of your infractions . . ." Alice's voice was tired, she was upset too, she was so mad at him, but I could tell that she was heartbroken it had turned out like this.

"I'll give her time if that's what she wants Alice. I'll give her space, I'll wait for as long as she wants me to, but I want to hear it from her. You've done an unbelievable job of looking after her whilst I couldn't, but I'm here. I'm not leaving until she tells me to go."

They were both quiet after that, and I sat there trying to catch my breath as I wiped away my tears. He was willing to leave again if I wanted him too. I didn't know what I wanted, but I knew that I still loved him. He never gave me a chance to explain, wouldn't I be just as bad if I did that to him?

"Please Alice. Just let me see her. Just let me talk to her for a moment then I'll go. But I need to see her."

"I will ask her one last time Edward, if she says no, I'm calling Jacob. I know you love her and I know you know you fucked, but I am here for her alone right now, I know you can appreciate that."

I sat up a little straighter as Alice opened the door and took in my appearance on the step, face all red and sniffling from crying.

"Bella, do you want to see him?" she asked as she knelt down in front of me, looking me in the eye. "I will send him away, I know you need time to deal with this, but I don't want him to upset you again."

I took in a few staggered breaths and said, "I can't Alice, I can't see him like this."

She nodded solemnly and stepped back out the door, not closing it behind her as I started sobbing again. I couldn't help it, I couldn't see him, it hurt too much right now. I felt like my chest was being ripped open.

"I'm sorry Edward, she's just not ready, she'll find you when she wants to talk. I can't give you any more than that."

I couldn't hear what he said to her, but it made her angry and I heard her scream, "Just fuck off and leave her alone Edward! I'm calling Jake... I just can't handle this on my own," before she slammed the door behind her, huffing when she stepped back towards me.

"God I can't believe him, he is such an asshole," she fumed as she marched off towards the living room to get her phone from her purse.

That was when I heard him through the door yelling, sounding like a madman.

"BELLA!"

He repeated my name over and over, pounding on the door, making me cry harder each time I heard his broken voice. Then it all stopped and I could hear him slap his hand against the wood.

"Please," he begged and my heart broke knowing that I was pushing him away like this.

I could hear Alice talking animatedly on the phone in the living room, telling Jake about Edward's irrational behavior and his refusal to leave.

Edward kept begging through the door, just hoping to get to me.

"Please baby. Please. I'm so sorry I left you. Please baby."

I held my hand up against the door and cried as I tried not to give in and go to him. I didn't know if I could forgive him for this. It was too much, too soon, and he could still walk away from me again.

"Please," he whispered again, and I could feel the warmth spread through my arm and I knew that his hand was on the door, inches away from me, I could still feel the pull.

"I'll go Bella. I'll give you what you need."

His broken, low voice made me cry even harder as he walked away again. I knew he would leave, even if it was what I asked, I knew it.

My heart was beating erratically in my chest as I could hear him take slow steps away from the door. The rain way coming down harder and the thunder overhead was loud as the storm continued on.

I felt like I was falling apart the further away from me he got, I was hurting him. I know he hurt me too, but he was trying to come back, trying to make this better.

I couldn't leave him like he had left me. I couldn't just let him walk out of my life again.

Grabbing the doorknob above my head with my good hand, I pulled myself up and rushed out the door. The rain was coming down in sheets soaking through my shirt and shorts as I ran across the front yard in my bare feet. His shoulders were hunched as I got to him, he looked so defeated. I could hear his sobs as I got closer to him and I could tell by the way that he was shaking that he was crying just as hard as I was.

I caught him by the arm, and he tensed up as he felt me, I felt like I had been electrocuted. I missed him so much, he had only been gone for a day or so, but it had been long enough.

"Edward…" I cried as he spun around and pulled me into his chest, crushing me to him and kissing me on the forehead as I could feel our tears mingling with the rain.

I threw my arms around his waist as both of our chests heaved, the sounds of the rain and the lightning drowned out by our sadness.

Edward dropped to his knees into the wet muddy grass and pressed his head tightly against my stomach as he held me up. His arms were wrapped tightly around my thighs.

"Our baby," he sobbed as he held me.

I ran my hand through his hair, and he whimpered when my cast rubbed up against his neck.

"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry," he gasped out as he held onto me.

The rain started to pour down harder around us when he tried to push himself back up from the grass, both of us soaked from head to toe at this point, his hair was plastered to his head when he stood up and grabbed me by the cheeks.

"I love you Bella, I won't leave again," he said in a husky voice as he leaned down and brought his lips to mine.

He kissed me roughly and passionately as the rain continued to pelt us, the cold autumn air chilling us both.

When his tongue ran along my lower lip, I threw my arms around his neck as he held me tightly around the waist, moving his mouth with mine.

I tried to bring my hands tighter, but I flinched as I twisted my wrist and it began to through my cast, which was probably ruined by now.

He pulled back when I gasped and look up at me with panic in his eyes.

"Oh god, your cast, I'm sorry, I forgot, I didn't mean to hurt you," he said as he pulled my hand down and cradled my disintegrating cast in his hands.

He turned me slightly, scooped me up in his arms and carried me towards the door.

When we got to the door, he reached down and kissed me on the forehead as he turned the knob and pushed it in.

Alice was standing on the other side of the door with her hands on her hips, looking at Edward with distain. She was still mad at him, but I could tell that she was going to let it go for now.

He nodded at her, carried me straight up the steps to the bathroom and set me down on the bench by the sink.

"I'll be back love," he said as he kissed me again lightly and wrapped a towel around my shoulders.

I sat there dumbfounded for a few moments, until he peeked back around the doorway with a sad look on his face.

"Alice?"

"She is going to give us some space, but she told me that you are to call her if you need someone to come kick my ass."

I laughed a little, and he came back over to me pulling the towel up into my hair, and rubbing the moisture out of it.

"Just let me take care of you," he whispered as she slowly helped me take my clothes off and he started running water in the bathtub.

Once the tub was full, he picked me up and slowly lowered me into the water, making sure to prop my wet cast up onto a folded towel on the lip of the tub.

He kissed me on the forehead and began to wash me slowly, obviously not caring about his soaked scrubs that were sticking to him.

"I'll take you back to the hospital this afternoon to get you a new cast," he said as he helped me out of my bath, holding open my robe for me to step into.

He led me back into the bedroom and set me down on the edge of the bed as he escaped into the closet.

When he came back, he was in a t-shirt and shorts, his wet hair sticking up in various directions. He still looked sad, and exhausted, but I really didn't have the energy to talk to him right now, I was just tired and wanted to sleep. I was done crying, I didn't want to feel sad anymore.

"Are you tired love?" he asked as he took a seat beside me on the bed and help my hand.

I nodded and he laid me back against the pillows, tucking the covers in around me.

He stood up off the bed and made his way towards the door, sighing as he opened it.

"Stay," I whimpered as he was about to step out the door.

Edward slowly turned around and made his way back towards me; climbing into the bed behind me and pulling me against his chest.

"I love you," I whispered as I felt my eyelids getting heavier.

"Always," he murmured as he kissed the back of my head.

I knew that when we woke up, that there were things that would have to be dealt with, but until then, I was going to enjoy the escape of sleep.

**

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A/N: Ok….so wow, this chapter was a rollercoaster of emotions, but I hope that you enjoyed where it ended up. Bella and Edward still have a lot of issues to work out, but they are going to do it together. **

**Don't forget to come play with us on the Twilighted thread, we will probably post some teasers for next weeks' chapters once they are finished.**

**Also don't forget to submit your entries to the Forbidden Love affair contest, only one week left to get your submissions in before the voting starts!**

**Thanks to L for filling in the middle of this chapter when my brain turned off and didn't want to finish, until next week kiddos!**


	26. Frustration and Foreplay

_**Everything Twilight belongs to to the amazing Stephenie Meyer, we just get to play with the characters . . . and the MJP . . .**_

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Frustration and Foreplay**

**APOV**

I left Bella in Edward's care. I wasn't sure that it was the right thing to do I wasn't even sure she wanted it, but I knew she would call me if she needed me. I could see the remorse in Edward's eyes; I could see just how much he regretted what he'd done.

I just stood in front of him, staring at him while he paced in front of me. He was trying to apologize which was certainly a first for Edward Cullen, Surgeon extraordinaire. I loved him to death, he was one of my best friends, but I was still mad as all hell at him; and I was disappointed.

"Alice, I need to make this right, I know you're angry, I know I don't deserve this opportunity. I do, however, need to fix this, I love her."

"I know she loves you Edward, and I know you love her, but fuck this up again and I will castrate you and feed your balls to Bailey."

Edward's eyes widened before he broke out into a smile. He knew I was giving him an opportunity to do this. I knew he made Bella happy, he just had to realize that she shouldn't be the only one expected to make an effort. They were for all intents and purposes, the perfect couple, but even the perfection had to have some cracks in the hard casing.

He stepped forward and kissed my forehead, "I promise, I won't let either of you down again, no one is as disappointed in my behavior more than I am."

I doubted that, but I was willing to let the snide comment that formed go for now. I needed him to make it better; I needed him to fix the part of Bella he'd broken so they could get through this together. I knew Bella would be angry once the grief and shock of what had happened wore off, but he could handle that, he had to face the consequences of his actions.

I knew he was hurting too but it would have been better if he'd shared that with her, taken the time to grieve with her instead of pushing himself away. Bella was stronger than she gave herself credit for. I knew that because I knew Bella well, yet she failed to see it; especially when it came to Edward.

I was still torn about leaving like this, I had told Jacob not to bother as soon as Bella had walked outside, she was being the bigger person as always, she needed Edward like she needed oxygen, and as corny as it sounded I was starting to understand it a little more. Having even the slightest taste of what she had gave me the clarity I had lacked before.

"Fine, but you tell her to call me if she needs someone to come kick your ass."

"I will I promise, and Alice,"

I was already picking my keys and purse up from the coffee table. I turned to look at him and saw the seriousness laced behind his eyes. "Yes?"

"Thank you for looking after my girl."

"I did it for her Edward, she's broken and hurting, and you only made that worse for her with your selfishness."

He didn't say anymore but I could see my words cut at him, chipping away at what was left of the brick wall he always seemed to have firmly cemented into place. I pulled open the door and stopped, looking back around at him.

"Don't forget to feed Bailey; there is Hagen Daaz in the freezer, and Bella's pain pills are on the counter in the kitchen. She hasn't eaten since early last night and even then she didn't eat much."

With that, I slammed the door shut and made my way to the car. I got in and started the engine listening to her purr and she warmed up. I needed to get home before all of this crashed down around me again. Jacob had known the minute he'd seen my face yesterday. He knew I was keeping everything in and being strong for my best friend.

I still couldn't let go even after I let the house with him, I hadn't been sure how long it would be until Edward reappeared and I refused to let go even for a second, because once the floodgates were down, there was no building them back up again. It was all or nothing, and right now I needed to let it all out.

Seeing Bella so broken had destroyed me completely, she'd always been so strong, always been the one to keep me grounded when I didn't know how to handle a situation and I had done everything I could to be that strong for her. Now, I was on my own with my thoughts and the situation lay heavy on my heart.

I looked at the clock on the dash and noted the early hour, but I knew if I didn't call he would be upset. I pulled out my phone and scrolled through the numbers, hitting send when I reached Emmett's number.

"Hello?" The voice sounded tired and groggy.

"Em, its Ali."

"What's wrong? Is Bella alright? You sound terrible."

"Love you too Emmett," I sucked in a breath, still fighting the impending tears. "Bella's fine, Edward came home. I think they're talking it out so I'm headed home." I sniffled. I was bad at this.

"She's forgiven him?"

"I really don't think it's that cut and dry, but I suspect they're going to talk about it."

"So how about you? How are you holding up?"

"I'll be fine, I just need to get this all out of my system, and it's just so much to take in."

I heard the shuffling of the phone as Rosalie drug it away from Emmett. "Al, you okay? You want to come over?"

"I'm fine Rosalie, just a little overwhelmed. I think I'll just take a shower and go to bed for a while."

"Bella's holding up okay?"

"I think it'll be better now Edward's home. Edward being gone just seemed to make everything so much worse for her. I hate to say it, but I think he's what she needed to get this out of her system, she needed to talk to the other person involved in creating the life she lost."

"Okay well hopefully they can sort things out. I just doubt Charlie will be as forgiving."

"You're probably right; Edward's going to have to earn his trust back."

"Or grovel,"

"There's always that. I'm going to let you get back to sleep; I just wanted to let you know what was going on."

"Thanks Ali, we'll call you later."

"Bye," I hung up the phone and threw it into my purse just as I pulled into the parking space at the condos. I took a deep breath and pulled the keys from the ignition. I was still grasping on to my strength with both hands. I had made my peace with Bella's loss; I had worked all of that out while I cried with her.

I knew she had been resolved about the pregnancy, I knew she'd made up her mind to be happy about it. When I'd hinted at her secret in the hospital her eyes had lit up and an excitement had seemed to radiate about her.

I hadn't even considered pregnancy to be the surprise, stupidly enough. I knew how vigilant Edward was about the situation. We were best friends and we talked, it was always one of her concerns, one of her frustrations.

I pressed the elevator button once and leaned my head against the cool granite of the elevator banks. I was exhausted. I was a light sleeper, and even though I would never tell Bella, I had been awake most nights listening to her crying. The bed had shaken gently, her muffled cries buried in her pillow. I was physically and emotionally spent, and never more glad to take a weeks vacation to regroup. I had called in on Monday explaining and they had given me a week's vacation without docking it from my regular vacation time. Bella had been given the same but they were aware of the situation and would gladly give her more time if necessary.

The magazine had been put to bed and now it was just the matter of gathering for the next issue. I usually took the week after publishing to return calls and set up appointments for the next issue. I wasn't missing much and Amanda was more than capable of handling that for me. She called to check in every day so it wasn't an issue.

The elevator door slid open and I stepped in and leaned against the cool walls as it climbed to my floor. It was a mess; this whole thing was such a mess. Edward hadn't just pushed his wife away; he'd effectively pushed away his brother-in-law, father-in-law, and anyone else involved in their life together as a couple.

I wondered whether Esme had discovered what had happened. I knew Carlisle had discovered his son's absence, especially seeing as I had been the bearer of bad news. He'd called the house phone to check on Bella and was surprised when I 'd been the one to answer the phone. I had to tell him Edward was AWOL. To say he wasn't pleased was an understatement, and I was guessing Edward's presence was more than likely attributed to him.

I stepped out of the elevators and made my way to my door, it was quiet, especially for the early hour during the workweek. This was closer to the time I normally left for work, I almost craved the familiarity of a regular day and considered, albeit for a nano second, going into work.

Then I remembered the big perfection that was my bed lying in the Condo behind the door I was unlocking . . . going once . . . going twice . . . sold to the fluffy bed in the condo.

It appeared delirious was still making its rounds.

I pushed the door closed behind me and made my usual beeline to the bedroom. The impersonal space being ignored, I breezed into my room and smiled at the picture that had pride of place on my nightstand, Jasper and I, oh how it held a whole new meaning now.

I dropped my purse and keys to the floor and fell face first onto the big fluffy bed. I could still feel the emotional turmoil clawing it's way up, but I was trying my hardest not to let go. I needed a distraction.

I picked up the television remote and clicked on the TV trying to find something funny to watch, I went to the movie channel that was specifically for comedy on the guide and groaned. _Knocked up_, of course. I moved to the next, nope, I switched to the recorded list to find my favorite show that I had been neglecting. My two boys, Dean and Sam . . . perfect distraction.

It worked too, until the fucking commercials, pampers ads followed by a stupid AT&T ad which had a daughter putting her teddy bear in her dad's briefcase, and then the floodgates opened and all hell broke loose. I couldn't stop the tears from sliding down my cheeks and hitting the dark comforter on the bed. I was a mess.

Everything came flooding back to me, Bella's call for the baby, her face crumpling when she realized she'd lost the baby, and then the haunting emptiness as Edward walked away. That would never leave my mind; it would forever be carved into my mind.

My body shook as I let the images play out in my mind, the heartache was not mine but I felt it and just needed to get it all out. I had known Bella so long and never seen her like that. It had scared me.

I was disturbed from my inane bawlfest by the doorbell ringing, which only seemed to make me cry harder. I really was pathetic. I really needed to sleep.

I didn't want to answer the door in the state I was in but there really was no calming down, I rolled out of my bed and stumbled toward the front door hoping it was nobody too important. I couldn't stop the tears at the moment, but I knew once it was all out, it would be over. It's how I worked and operated. It was like double Jeopardy, once I cried over something that was it.

I pulled open the door and looked up, fuck me running.

"Jasper? What are you doing here?" I bawled the words at him and he looked taken back by the state of me.

"Rosie called me and said you were home, she asked that I come and check on you."

I started crying harder; fully embarrassed at my outbreak, but what was I supposed to do now, smile as though everything was fine and dandy?

I felt his strong arms wrap around me just before he pulled me up into his arms. Pushing the door closed with his foot he made his way into the living room and sat in my unused couch holding me into him as he laid his head on the top of my own.

He let me cry, not saying a word, not making a sound, it was a little uncomfortable but he was patient with me. I probably would have cried for hours more without him being there. He brought me a sense of calm.

The only thing that worried me was that after the last five days I was sure he would think all I did was cry, when in reality I really didn't do it enough.

"I'm so sorry," I hiccuped and sniffled. "The last two times you've seen me I have been hysterical, you must think I'm insane."

"I'll agree this past week hasn't been the best time to explore what's been going in between us, but you've had a lot going on."

My god, he's understanding too.

"Thank you," I nuzzled further into his side and breathed in his scent before I realized just how disgusting I felt. "Would you mind waiting while I took a shower?"

"No, not at all. Are you hungry?"

"A little,"

"I'll go and get us something to eat, you go shower."

I grinned at him and slid from his lap. My hand brushed his crotch making me blush a little. He stood up behind me, his arms wrapping around my waist and pulling me towards him. His lips left a warm kiss on my forehead before he stepped away and headed towards the door.

"Oh, Jasper,"

He stopped and turned around, a small smile on his lips. Ahh his kissable lips. I headed towards the kitchen and pulled out one of the drawers, pulling out one of my spare keys. I threw it at him and grinned.

"So you don't have to knock,"

"Thanks," He winked and pulled open the door, breezing through it without another word.

I took a hot shower and dressed in some pajama pants and a tank top, and headed towards the kitchen, putting on a pot of coffee. I slid up on the counter and watched the drips of the coffee as I waited for Jasper's return.

It didn't take him long, I had just poured my first cup when the door opened. His handsome face peeked around the door and into the kitchen. He held up a bag and I smiled at the logo on the side.

"How did you know?"

He handed me the Panera bag and grinned sheepishly. Panera's breakfast sandwiches had always been a weak spot for me.

"I cheated and called my sister."

My heart skipped a beat and I grinned, I knew what that meant . . .

"Bear claws?" I opened the bag and giggled into it. I think I positively loved this man.

He nodded thoughtfully and walked into the kitchen, his eyes scanning the cupboards. I seemed to know exactly what he wanted and for the small gift he'd just given me, I was more than willing to help him out.

"The cupboard above the dishwasher."

He pulled open the cupboard and made his way over to the coffee pot. I was struck with an urge to know everything about this man. It was a need, he'd been there for me today and it only seemed to bring me closer to him.

"How do you take your coffee?"

"Black Two sugars, why?"

"Curiosity, I find I know so little about you. I just want to start finding out the little things."

"Good point, how do you take yours?" He peered in my cup.

"Two sugars, one hazelnut creamer pot, I buy them from Costco,"

He laughed playfully at that and stirred in his two sugars.

"All time favorite movie?"

"Poltergeist," I answered instantly. I wasn't a huge horror movie buff, but that movie just got to me, I loved it. "How about you?"

"Pulp Fiction,"

I laughed; it was one I had watched many a time in college with Jacob, so I pulled out my special Samuel L. Jackson voice. "Oh, man, I will never forgive your ass for this shit. This is some fucked-up repugnant shit."

Jasper chuckled and thought for a second before answering. "Jules, did you ever hear the philosophy that once a man admits that he's wrong that he is immediately forgiven for all wrongdoings? Have you ever heard that?"

I combated with, "Get the fuck out my face with that shit! The motherfucker that said that shit never had to pick up itty-bitty pieces of skull on account of your dumb ass."

Jasper laughed loudly now and sidled in between my legs, a small smirk playing on his delicious lips. "I got a threshold, Jules. I got a threshold for the abuse that I will take. Now, right now, I'm a fuckin' race car, right, and you got me the red. And I'm just sayin', I'm just sayin' that it's fuckin' dangerous to have a race car in the fuckin' red. That's all. I could blow."

Fuck, I had forgotten the next line. Jasper formed an O with his mouth and I giggled, "Oh! Oh! You ready to blow?"

"Yeah, I'm ready to blow."

I had the punch line to this party, and I was going to try and impress his ass by using it. "Well, I'm a mushroom-cloud-layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Every time my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly T.N.T., I'm the Guns of the Navarone! IN FACT, WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOIN' IN THE BACK? YOU'RE THE MOTHERFUCKER WHO SHOULD BE ON BRAIN DETAIL! We're fuckin' switchin'! I'm washin' the windows, and you're pickin' up this kids skull!"

Jasper laughed loudly and leaned in pressing his lips to mine lightly. "Anyone who can quote Jules is alright with me woman."

"Glad to see college came in handy for one thing at least."

He pressed his lips to mine again making my stomach flutter all over the place. "You are one fascinating woman, any other violent cult masterpieces you like to watch or is it just the one?"

"_Smoking Aces_, does that count?"

"Never seen it."

I let my mouth fall open, I wasn't a violent movie kind of chick, but I did have my favorites.

"Please say you've seen _Domino_,"

Jasper shook his head and kissed my nose with tenderness I hadn't expected. I took a deep breath and pressed my lips against his. The amazing chemistry was still there but it was turned down, muffled by this soft gentleness he was emoting.

"What do you say we take this food and coffee and watch one of these movie I so shamefully haven't experienced?"

I nodded, not really wanting to move from this spot or this position. He ran the backs of his hands over my cheeks and turned around in my legs.

"What are you doing?"

"Grab the food and hop on, I will come back for the coffee."

I did as he asked and wrapped my legs around his torso and one arm around his neck, as the other hand grabbed the bag. I could feel his thumb tracing patterns in my thigh as he carried me. My skin was on fire every small place our body was connected. My thighs were ignited creating a ball of tension to form within me. I was hopeless and lost and he was acting like a complete gentleman.

We sat laughing and joking through the movie, we'd decided on _Smoking Aces_, it was a little lighter and had some much needed comedy interjected into it. The kid in the karate outfit had us laughing hysterically. Our bodies were always close, our hands intertwined.

At some point I fell asleep and woke up with my head on his lap, we'd been watching _Domino_ at that point and I don't think I'd made it through the first five minutes and when I woke up the credits were rolling.

"Sorry," I whispered stretching out like a cat across his lap.

"You needed it," he said smiling down at me. He reached his fingers out and traced the line of my jaw.

It really helped having him here. He was just the distraction I needed and I would have to thank Rosalie, even though I had been considering yelling and screaming at her for sending him over while I was such a mess.

Rosalie was good at this kind of thing; she seemed to have known that I needed this; that I needed him to be here. I had called when I was picking up my car yesterday. I felt that I owed her an explanation after the incident in her hospital room. She'd told me that Jasper had explained everything and that she was happy that we seemed to be getting along so well.

Then she'd asked the loaded question . . . _How do you feel about him?_

It wasn't a particularly difficult question and I knew beyond a reasonable doubt how I felt, but I didn't feel as comfortable giving her the truth as I had with Bella. Bella knew that I was hands down, balls to the wall, in love with the guy, and I trusted her with that knowledge.

As good of a friend as Rosalie was I still wasn't sure I was ready to be that honest. He was her brother; she'd just discovered we knew one another. Telling her I was hopelessly infatuated with him would be awkward.

"Well, I'd better get going," Jasper, sighed, smiling down at me. "I have some things to do, but Rosalie said you'd taken the rest of the week off. How would you feel about me bringing you some movies tomorrow, and then maybe cashing in that rain check?"

My heart fluttered sending blood coursing through my body like a damn torpedo. Was he kidding?

"I would love that Jasper."

His smile widened on his beautiful face and it did nothing for my already over heated body.

"Great, I'll be here about one then."

I sat up and smiled at him. "Sounds perfect."

Jasper stood up and offered me his hand. I took it willingly and followed him to the door. His tall frame bent and he pushed his soft lips against my own eliciting a sigh from me. It was still this new muffled burn; nothing like the heated embraces we'd shared in the hotel and the hospital.

"Bye," his voice was light and easy.

"Bye," My voice was thick and lusty.

Even with this new dulled sensation, he drove me crazy. He excited me, and I had no idea how to control myself.

Jasper stepped out into the hall and laid one more kiss on my lips before turning and walking away. I watched his ass as he strolled towards the elevators. He got better looking every time I looked at him.

***

Jasper did come back the next day and we did have our date. It was beautiful; he took me to one of the restaurants over looking the sound. We talked for hours and flirted shamelessly as we found a hundred new ways just to keep touching.

He was again the perfect gentleman, kissing me at the door and refusing to deepen the kiss. It was frustrating beyond belief; especially seeing as I wanted to pull him into the apartment and ravage him.

We ate together every night, and it was the same thing over and over again, and it was pure torture, he was torturing me. I couldn't get enough of him, even when I went back to work. He would show back up at the office unannounced and take me out to lunch, where we would sit for more than my allotted hour and just talk.

Even without the heat, I found myself falling deeper and deeper in love with him. He was amazing. Considerate, polite, funny, charming and charismatic, and he was driving me to distraction. I shopped constantly in the magic closet looking for new combination of clothing to tempt him, but every night he abstained. He did this for almost three weeks and tonight; I wasn't letting him get away with it.

Bella and I had taken a lunch together to go shopping. She was doing so much better since that first week. She came back to work the Wednesday after I came back, and it seemed like the best thing that she could have done. She may not have been busy here at the magazine, but being surrounded by all of the interns and writers, seemed to do her some good.

She and Edward were working things out. According to Bella, they'd talked endlessly about the lost baby and the effect Edward's disappearance had on her. They'd been trying to fix his relationship with Charlie as well.

Emmett had been an easier sell. Once Bella had brought up the _what if this was you and Rosalie_ card, he saw it with a little more clarity and was willing to forgive Edward, but not before a good threat and testosterone fueled bromance scenes.

Things were slowly getting back to normal, and I was proud of Bella for not throwing this situation into one of the many storage boxes in her mind to lament over later. She talked about it, told me what she'd been thinking and dreaming about before it was all so cruelly ripped away from her.

She was the one that made the final choice on my dress choice. She couldn't understand why the dresses in the magic closet weren't good enough for this.

"Because I want him to want to take this dress off me."

I was trying on a blue dress I didn't really like, but the cut was fabulous. Bella cringed and shook her head.

"If you want him to take it off because the color makes you look like a ghost you found it."

"You see what he does to me? I have better fashion sense than this."

"You're panicking Alice. Do you trust me?"

I had nodded and given her free reign. What she came back with . . . let's just say I had created a monster. She found a dress, no strike that, she found THE dress. It was red, cherry red with a strap that ran diagonally from my neck to the opposite arm. The soft flowing material hit just above the knee with a slit up the thigh; all pulled together, and accentuating my waist with a little red belt.

We both gushed over it and I knew it was the one. Tonight was the night; I was going to seduce Jasper if he didn't make a move. I was tired of the soft careful kisses we'd been sharing since the day I had gotten back from Bella's, and now I was taking control.

Jasper had left me to make the plans. I had decided on a meal at the _Dahlia lounge. _It was well known for it's cuisine and romantic atmosphere. I was holding the reins tonight and I wasn't taking no for an answer.

I got home early from work, I had ordered some lingerie from the Fredericks of Hollywood catalogue and they were supposed to be arriving today. It would finish off my little ensemble and drive him crazy. At least I hoped it would.

I was meticulous while getting ready. Every hair in place, perfect make up, and I even broke out the Manolo's. I was on a mission. I had a glass of wine while I waited for Jasper to pick me up.

For the first time in a long time, I was nervous. I had already invested so much in him I was scared to death of failing.

"Alice?" Jasper's head poked around the door. He'd kept the key I'd given him that first morning.

His eyes widened as he appraised me, his mouth opened a little as he swept into the kitchen and pulled me into his arms.

"You look amazing,"

"Thank you," I rolled up onto my toes to kiss him. His cologne filled my sense making my toes curl. This was going to be a long night.

His fingers gripped a little tighter onto my hips before we broke away from one another and I knew the dress had done it's job, the rest was up to me.

"You ready to go?" I asked, looking up at him from under my eyelashes.

Wordlessly, he nodded, and I smirked. He locked the door behind us as we left the condo; our hands linked by our side. It had become a natural thing to do as we stood side by side, we were always touching in some degree. I just needed it to be a little more. I always wanted more.

"So, where are we headed to?" he asked, pressing the button continuously.

"The Dahlia lounge,"

"You were able to get reservations?"

I nodded and smiled, not telling him I had done it a week ago. We stepped into the elevator and waited as it descended. Jasper's hand kept twitching at his side as though he kept moving and changing his mind.

I gave his hand a squeeze of encouragement. His thumb rubbed gently circles onto the back of my hand seemingly calming him a little. It did nothing of the sort for me. The small fiery connection between us spread through me like wild fire. My heartbeat rose in my chest and my entire body sparked with electricity. The same effect he always had on me.

"So what did you want to do after dinner?"

"I was thinking a bottle of wine and maybe a movie," I said nonchalantly, smiling up at him.

"Perfect,"

One word answers, you gotta love men. Sometimes they were so predictable.

We made our way out to his car, and I jumped in the passenger side before he could open the door for me like he usually did. I was breaking all the rules tonight. I was trying to break the awkwardness of it before it started. It was beginning to feel too much like a first date.

Jasper climbed in the car beside me, he was laughing and shaking his head.

"What?"

"You, give a guy a chance,"

I grinned widely; he had no idea.

He picked up my hand after putting the car in drive, his thumb taking up the previous gesture and rubbing circles into the skin in the back of my hand. My legs went to jelly every time he did that. I was ridiculous.

It was a short drive to the restaurant but the air in the car was electrically charged. Three weeks worth of sexual frustration seemed to bounce off every surface as we sat in contemplative silence. I knew we needed to start talking, this was the first time such a loaded silence had hung between us. It was making me jumpy.

"So what did you do today?"

"I went to Rosalie's and played with the baby, he's adorable. I swear he smiled at me, but Rosalie swears it was gas. Emmett couldn't resist the gay fashion model joke."

"That's so Emmett, I hope Rosalie smacked him upside the head for that quip."

Jasper laughed easily, his shoulders relaxing. "You know them well."

"It's a vicious circle and Emmett has no filter from his brain to his mouth, Bella smacks him around too."

"How about you?"

"I try not to give him ammo,"

Jasper laughed and brought my hands up to his lips. He turned into the restaurant, parked the car and eyed me furtively. I grinned challenging him, I was hoping my defiant would come of flirty and sexy rather than annoying and over confident, but it was a fifty-fifty shot that could swing both ways. He stepped out and pushed his door closed, his eyes on me as he made his way to my door.

I pushed the door open, and swung my legs out the side of the car. Taking the hand I knew he'd have held out for me. Hand in hand, we made our way into the restaurant, by the time we reached the door I was tucked into Jasper's side. It appeared he didn't like the attention I was getting.

I found his little act of possessiveness endearing and let it go, letting my arm snake around his waist as he pulled open the door for us. I loved this restaurant and the small rows of perfect for two booths. It had a sense of romanticism to it.

Jasper gave my last name and we waited to be escorted to our table silently. There was so much electricity passing between us I was beginning to get self-conscious. I had never in my life been affected by someone as much as the man next to me seemed to. Everything he did, everything he said seemed to affect me.

These last three weeks had been torture as the emotions seemed to heighten with each encounter, I was beginning to feel the pressure of it all, any longer and I knew I would start getting performance anxiety.

"Now you're the one who's quiet," Jasper chuckled into my ear. His finger found the bare skin of my shoulder and he trailed a line down my bare arm. An involuntary shudder ran through my body.

Was he playing games with me too?

I sat first before he slid into his side of the booth, then the hostess handed out menus to us.

"Your server will be right with you, enjoy your meal."

I gave her a smile before she stepped away, but noticed her eyes lingering on Jasper. I should have felt insulted, but I knew he was one of the most amazing looking men I had ever encountered, and he was here with me.

I opened the menu and looked at the words, not really seeing them at all. I could feel his legs on either side of mine under the table and it made my heartbeat pick up, again.

"What are you thinking about so hard?"

"The hostess and her lingering gaze," I giggled, willing my eyes to focus on the letters.

"Alice,"

"Oh come on you had to have noticed. It was hilarious, she looked like a guppy with her mouth hanging open like that."

"Are you . . . ?"

"No, I just found it amusing."

"Not even a little bit?"

He pushed his bottom lip out in a pout and I couldn't help but laugh at him, he really was adorable.

"Fine I wanted to claw her eyes out," I laughed playfully, leaning across the table. He leaned in to meet me in the middle. I could feel his breath on my lips as we stared at one another. "But I know you're coming home with me tonight, and I plan on holding you hostage."

I immediately noticed the glazed look that passed over his eyes as he processed my words, his lips turned up at the corner and he opened his mouth, obviously about to respond to the comment.

"Hi welcome to Dahlia lounge, can I start you off with something to drink?"

I grinned and sat back in my seat, looking up at the girl who was looking a little bewildered.

"I'll take the house merlot, please, Jazz?"

He looked up at the waitress and smiled sheepishly, "I'll take a beer."

"Any in particular?"

"Bud light."

"Okay, I'll be right back with your drinks and I'll take your order."

"Thanks," I smiled sweetly at her and waited for Jasper to say something but his eyes were back on me.

The waitress disappeared quickly and left the two of us in silence again. Jasper's crystal blue eyes focused on me alone.

"And what did you mean by that?"

"By what?" I asked innocently, letting my eyes roam across the menu. I could feel the excitement of our little game rise in me; I physically had to think about something else to stop my nipples from exposing my arousal.

"Alice Brandon."

"Yes, Jasper Whitlock?"

He smiled and shook his head leaning back in his seat, his eyes wide. He was giving me a game on smile and there was no way to stop the wave of excitement exploding in my stomach. My thighs rubbed together once trying to dispel the sensation, but I was out of luck, it only seemed to make things worse.

"You're wriggling."

"Really I hadn't noticed," I sighed, crossing my legs in frustration.

Jasper reached out his hand and took the one of mine lying on the table.

"Relax Alice."

I gave him a grin; I couldn't help myself, if he only knew what I was planning to do when I got him alone. I couldn't stand anymore waiting, it was driving me to distraction. I had called Bella almost every afternoon after I got back from lunch with him and analyzed the body language, the words, the gestures. I was losing my mind.

"What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

"You."

Jasper laughed as I pouted, I had this terrible condition around him called honesty. I couldn't help myself from spurting the truth to any question he asked, it was a curse sometimes.

"Care to elaborate?"

"Maybe later," I grinned.

Jasper's blue eyes darkened to a royal blue, hunger filled the sparkling orbs as he watched me squirm again. Damn this man knew how to get me going and he wasn't really touching me yet.

"Here's your merlot, and your bud light, have you decided what you'd like to eat yet?"

"I'll have the surf and turf," Jasper said, one again leaning back in his seat, his eyes still locked on me.

"I'll take the crab cakes,"

"Okay, I will go ahead and put that in for you, can I take your menus?"

Jasper and I handed her our menus, our eyes still locked on one another. His smirk was driving me insane. The waitress walked away leaving us in silence again. I picked up my wine and took a sip, running my tongue over my bottom lip to pick up the left over residue.

Jasper groaned.

It was then that I realized how ready we both were. If this was indeed the case, I was most certainly planning on asking him, he hadn't made a move yet. When I looked back over the last three weeks, it made a little more sense.

The touching, his fingers would constantly find my bare skin, but he would stop before they got anywhere too revealing, and his jaw would tighten in frustration. When our kissing would grow more passionate, he would hold himself back and slow down the process. Whatever had caused this was not going to stop me tonight.

I laid off him for a while watching him with honest curiosity, I wanted to see if he would carry on the flirting or whether he would cut himself off like he had every other time. By the time the food arrived, I was frustrated again. He was still holding my hand, and flirting with his eyes, but he'd turned down the amplified flirting, the shameless attempts to make me blush.

It was like a constant game of tag, when I would flirt, he would flirt back, when I stopped . . . he stopped. Letting me set the pace was gallant of him, but I was ready for more, and if it meant taking it into over drive, then so be it.

We'd just finished dinner when I decided to amp up the flirting. Jasper was leaning back in his seat looking satisfied. He looked amazing, his blond hair was still brushed back from the last swipe of his hand, his eyes were still on me as I grinned at him across the table. We'd been talking about music.

I slid my foot from my Manolo and ran it up his leg to his knee. His eyes grew wide; he looked torn. I wasn't sure if he wanted to looked down or look at me more, but his eyes were still locked with mine.

I straightened my leg out slowly, working my foot up to his thigh and slipping it towards the inside of his thigh. I watched as his adam's apple bobbed and his breathing became rapid.

"Alice."

I smirked, admittedly I was very happy from the wine consumption, but I was still sober. I didn't want to forget this night.

"Can I get you any dessert this evening?" The waitress had just stepped up to the table but I continued my journey up his thigh. His eyes were wide and flickered between me and the waitress.

"I'm good thank you, Jasper?"

Just as I said his name, my toes brushed along his length. I felt the twice of him as his body processed the sensation.

"Just . . ." His eyes took a long blink. "The check."

"Okay, I'll be right back."

The waitress disappeared and Jasper let out a low throaty groan, his eyes sliding closed as I let my foot rub gently up and down him. His hand wrapped around my ankle as he forced his eyes open.

"Alice."

Damn he sounded sexy like that.

"Yes?" I asked a little too sweetly. I knew my eyes were showing exactly how I was feeling.

His eyes flickered open, and I smiled, my tongue dancing across my bottom lip before I pulled it between my teeth.

"You have to stop unless you want to sit here for longer than necessary."

"You ready to get out of here?"

Jasper raised his eyebrows, "I am contemplating going caveman on your ass and throwing you over my shoulder to get out of here faster. Nice feet by the way."

My heart pounded in my chest like a bull in a china shop, it was going to break a rib any minute, not that it was even a possibility, but it felt like it.

I was practically bouncing in my seat as I slipped my foot back into my shoe. I felt like a kid at the gates of Disneyland, so close yet so far. I was not going to give up on this. I needed him and I needed sex.

The waitress came back with the check quickly, Jasper was torturing me with the speed in which he writing, I knew that he was good at math, but damn it he was taking a damn eternity to figure out the tip and scribble his name on a sheet of paper.

Finally, he stood up and held out his hand to me. I took it eagerly and slid out from the booth. We both walked hand in hand, but my other hand was wrapped around his forearm steadying myself.

His long strides had me running to keep up with him and I couldn't stop the giggles as I tripped and stumbled.

"Hey Jazz,"

"Yeah?" He was a man on a mission as he headed towards the car.

"Have you ever noticed the length of my legs?" I laughed.

Jasper stopped and turned to me, his eyes full of confusion. "I'm sorry?"

"My legs."

He looked down and back up to my eyes.

I couldn't help but laugh as his brow furrowed in confusion. "I can't keep up with you."

The realization dawn on his handsome face, he looked torn for a second as he looked at me and then the car.

"Don't you dare," I laughed backing away from him as the devious smile spread across his lips. He took a step towards me again. I took another back. "Jasper!"

He darted forward and swept me up into his arms and over his shoulder. I couldn't contain the shriek that emitted from me. He jogged towards the car quickly, while I grasped his waist with one hand and held my dress down with the other.

"Jasper . . ." I choked out a laugh, "Jasper, put me down, I have feet . . . aghh."

He sat me on top of his car as he pulled his keys from his pocket. I would have hit him but I couldn't stop laughing long enough to do it.

"You sure are desperate to watch a movie," I choked out.

He stopped dead with his keys half out of his pocket and looked at me, his mouth wide open. I crossed my arms and legs and raised my eyebrows. His face fell a little, and his head dropped; my heart exploded in my chest at the sight of it.

"Kidding," I unfolded my arms and reached out to him with a laugh.

He mumbled something under his breath before meeting my eyes again. He stepped forward and pulled me from the top of the car, he set me on my feet placing one hand on the door handle and the other on the car on the other side of me.

My body trembled as he got steadily closer, my breathing picked up and my stomach clenched. Without another thought, I wrapped my arms around his neck and crushed my lips against his with as much force as I could.

I wanted him to know that I wanted this; I wanted him to know that I was in fact ready and had been for a while. He growled into my mouth before pulling away and opening the door.

"In."

"Yes sir," I climbed into the car pulling in my legs and arranged my dress. He slammed the door shut and ran to the other side of the car.

He climbed in and pushed the keys into the ignition, taking a deep steadying breath as he did. We looked at one another again, our gazes locked together as our breathing picked up. My mind was screaming this is really going to happen while my body literally reached for him.

I broke eyes contact first and looked out of the back window. Catching the hint, he threw the car in reverse and pulled out of the spot, taking off on the street towards my condo.

I rubbed my thighs together as we got closer. _Finally._

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A/N: Next Monday's Chapter: A little Marvin Gaye . . . Let's get it on, Ahhhhhhhh. LOL**

**Hope you enjoyed that, I like them together, I think they are dynamic. There's something about Alice and Jasper that just click. I had a little fun here, hope you enjoyed it.**

**Much love to all of my girls, if you get a chance check out their stories they are amazing . . . first Momma E (goldentemptress) What room number? lol, the wonderful, and talented Lammy (bemylullaby) and then my Twitwin Lady Kellmett (Miztrezboo)**

**ELEPHANT SHOE!!!**

**Thank you for all the alerts and faves and as always the delightful reviewers who seriously are completely and utterly amazing, you all rock epically for sharing your thoughts with us. You know we love you guys something crazy.**

**Till next week - Much love and Big hugz - L –**

**Also, don't forget that Wednesday is the last day for you to submit your entries to the Forbidden Love Affair contest.**

**Come play with us on the thread on Twilighted, we give out pretty gifs!**


	27. Aggression and a Productive Session

**Disclaimer: Don't own twilight, but I do hold the market on hate reviews regarding our incarnation of Edward…;)**

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Aggression and a Productive Session**

**BPOV**

My head was pounding as the light from the curtains filtered across the room and into my eyes. Alice hadn't closed them last night before we went to bed, and I could never sleep unless it was totally dark. My body felt so heavy, I was still exhausted, my eyelids burned from crying, my wrist was throbbing as the painkillers had obviously worn off since last night, my stomach hurt, my legs were sore. Overall, I just felt like I had been run over by a truck, well, or at least a small car.

I groaned as I tried to pull myself up from the bed, but I was pinned down by something heavy.

My eyelids fluttered open; I could see an arm thrown across my stomach, and it was definitely not Alice's.

_Edward._

Oh god, this morning hadn't been a dream. He was here, in our bed, lying next to me.

I slowly turned to face him, and I could see that he looked just as horrible as I probably did. His eyelids were puffy and he had huge dark circles underneath his eyes. He looked paler than he normally did and his lips were cracked from where he had probably been chewing on his lip; he tended to do that when he was stressed. His hair was sticking up wild and matted to the pillow, and he just looked sad to me.

He had looked so broken when I followed him out into the storm this morning, crying, hunched on his knees clinging to me for dear life.

He had come back, and he said that he wanted to take care of me. He said that he would never leave again, and that he was sorry for leaving like he did. It still didn't make sense to me, the things he had said to Alice when he didn't know that I was there.

How could he think that this was his failure? Why had he taken this all on himself? Did I not even exist in this equation?

God, I needed him and he just turned around and walked out, who does that? I had never seen him act so selfishly in all the years that I had known him, self absorbed and a little egotistical, yes, but to completely abandon someone, never. What in the hell had he been thinking?

Silent tears were welling up in my eyes and spilling over when I thought back to everything that had happened in the last few days. I wasn't sad anymore, well, I was, but now I was just angry.

He just comes back and says 'please baby' and he expects me to just forget about the fact that I had to go through that alone, I had to lose _our_ child, alone. My god, how fucked up was that. How was I ever going to trust him again? I could feel the anger welling up inside me as the tears fell faster and I involuntarily clenched my fists and whimpered when my palm pressed into my now malformed cast.

Pain shot up my arm and I cradled it to my chest as I began to sob. I was so angry, and he was just lying here next to me, oblivious to the fact that he had hurt me so badly. He apologized, but it all just felt empty to me. He was doing what was expected; he knew he fucked up; he knew he was wrong, so he said all the right things to try to make it better. Well words don't always cut it, sometimes actions speak a hell of a lot louder, and his actions made me feel physically sick.

Edward's arm tightened around my waist and I could hear his breathing pick up as he crushed me back against his chest.

"Shh baby, its ok, I'm here, calm down," he whispered in my ear as he held me against him.

I couldn't do this, I couldn't let him think I was weak, I needed to say things to him, mean things, tell him exactly what I thought about him right now. He needed to hear how it hurt more to see him walk out that door than to ever imagine him rejecting our child. He didn't even get the chance to, it died before he even knew about it.

"Stop," I said in a hoarse voice as I struggled to free myself from his grip.

I wiggled until I got an arm free and reached back and pulled him off of me as he was trying to soothe me. I didn't want to be soothed, I wanted to yell, and he was going to listen to me for once.

"Stop!" I said more firmly as I pushed myself away from him and swung my legs over the edge of the bed.

He tried to sit up with me, but I pushed his arms away before I swiped at the angry tears rolling down my cheeks.

He placed his palm against my back and I flinched away from his touch, I couldn't go through with this if he was touching me, I would lose my nerve and I was tired of getting walked on.

"Quit it, don't touch me," I hissed as I stood up and staggered away from the bed, cradling my injured wrist against my chest.

"Bella, I….I don't understand," Edward said as he ran his hands through his hair exhaling roughly through his nose.

"Yeah, you're right Edward, you don't understand," I spat at him as I continued to back away from him.

"Bella, I…"

"No Edward, none of this _I_ bullshit, you are going to sit there and you are going to listen to me, and if you don't like it, you can do what you do best and leave again."

I knew that my words were hurtful and he flinched when he saw the anger in my eyes as I told him that. I was beyond caring at this point. I was angry, but he was wrong, and he was _going_ to listen to me.

He nodded at me and sat up on the edge of the bed, fidgeting with his hands in his lap.

"Why?"

"Bella, why what?" he said in a small voice, looking at me with hurt in his eyes.

"Oh let's see, where do I start?" I said sarcastically as I began to pace in the small space beside the bed where he was seated. "Why did you leave? Why did you come back? Why do you always walk away when I try to talk to you?"

He looked down into his lap, his shoulders hunched as he began to respond to me in a broken voice.

"I'm sorry, I thought…." His chest started to heave as his voice cracked with emotion. "I thought it was my fault, that I didn't pay enough attention to know what was going on. I thought that you were going to hate me for this, for letting this happen. For walking away from you when I couldn't handle it. I …..I really don't know what to tell you, nothing I can tell you will justify my actions. I know I screwed everything up, I'm sorry, I am so unbearably sorry that I made you go through that alone."

"I wasn't alone," I spat at him as I could feel the anger boil up inside of me. "The one person besides my brother, who I hope gets a chance to hit you over this, she stayed with me. She was there when I collapsed, she was there when I woke up, she was there after I fell and broke my god damned wrist, she brought me home, she gave me my fucking pills, she gave me ice cream and forced me out of bed. She was fucking there Edward, Where in the fuck were you?"

"Bella, I'm sorry, I wish I could just take it all back, please baby, please, I need you to forgive me," he whimpered as he brought his hands up into his hair and tugged on it.

He thought that it was just that easy, that I could forgive him and we could go about our business. God he was delusional, this wasn't something you could just slap a band aid on and fix. I didn't know if I could trust him anymore, what if something worse happened down the line, how was I to know if he was going to walk away again?

"I……I can't do that," I choked out as the tears began streaming down my face.

He looked up at me with tears in his eyes and I felt my heart breaking. I didn't want to be mad at him, I didn't want to feel like this, but it felt like everything I had ever known about him was a lie. Every vow and promise he had ever made me were built up on the principle that we were in this together.

"Bella, please, I need you, please……please don't leave me."

"Stop saying that," I whimpered, the word please didn't make it all better either.

"Stop saying what?"

"Please, don't say please anymore."

My chest was constricting with my sobs and my wrist was starting to throb again, I needed to take my pain medicine soon before it got worse.

Edward was looking up at me as if I had ripped him to shreds, and maybe now he felt a little like I had for the past few days. Maybe the thought of losing me would make him realize that I was not just some accessory to him. That love was not enough to keep a healthy marriage; that he had to actually work hard to keep something for once in his life.

"Do you want me to leave?" he whispered, looking down to the floor.

I shook my head violently, knowing that his first instinct in everything was to run now. He was doing it again, and I was not going to let him tear me apart again.

"No," I spat as I swiped at my tears and sat down a few feet down the mattress from him and stared at the dresser.

He looked over at me, but I refused to look at him, it hurt too much, I knew that I would cave to try to make him feel better, and right now, he needed to feel horrible about what had happened.

"What can I do?"

I let out a humorless chuckle and shook my head at him, of course he would go into problem solving mode.

"Well, you can start by not running away again."

"I'm sorry, I…..it…..it was just too much to handle all at once."

"Oh, well I'm sorry, I'm sorry that losing our child was an inconvenience for you," I spat as I stood up and started to pace again.

"That wasn't what I meant. I meant that I didn't know how to make it better for you, I felt like I failed you, I never even knew what was going on, I should have paid better attention. I didn't even realize how wrong thinking that was until my father came and yelled at me. I'm sorry, I should have stayed; I should have stayed with you and been there."

Carlisle yelled at him? Wow, well that's quite the development, although, if that was the only reason he came home, then I didn't know if I wanted him to be here. I didn't want him to be here if he didn't want to be. I sat back down on the bed and asked him the question that could make or break our marriage.

"Why did you come home?"

He turned towards me and placed one of his hands on my knee as he scooted over a little bit.

"Because I love you, and I realized that I would do anything to make you feel better. I hated knowing that I added to the pain that you were feeling, I was wrong, so, so wrong, and I will do everything I can to get you to trust me again. I can't lose you Bella, you are my everything. I was a coward; I ran away, I threw myself into my work to hide from the fact that it was real. I never even knew about the baby," he said softly, taking in a deep breath before he continued.

"And I never even realized that I wanted it until it was gone. I know why you didn't tell me, I had always been so adamant about waiting until the time was right, what I didn't realize is that timing doesn't make a difference in the world. I was so upset about the fact that I never even knew about it until it…..until it died, that I didn't realize that you had already known, and knowing you, you had already fallen in love with it."

We were both quiet for a few moments, I was just absorbing everything he was telling me. I had never heard him so fragile before, so honest with me, he was always sort of in his head about things, overanalyzing, bottling things up, he never wanted to appear vulnerable to people.

"I tried to tell you," I said quietly, looking up into his eyes for the first time.

He nodded, he had to know, it was there on the tip of my tongue, and his damn pager just had to go off.

"I know, I could tell by the look in your eyes that it was something serious, but I assumed that I would have time to talk to you later, and then Rose went into labor. I'm sorry, I should have listened to you."

I took in one long shuddering breath and placed my hand on top of his, giving it a little squeeze as I looked into his eyes. He looked so sad, was that how I looked to him too?

"I should have made you listen to me, maybe if I did, something might have changed. Maybe if I told you, maybe if Emmett was home, maybe it would all be ok." The tears started streaming down my face again as I was fighting for breath. I hated that I had no control over this, if something in the chain of events had changed just slightly, this might have never happened.

Edward scooted the rest of the way towards me and pulled me into his lap, cradling my head against his shoulder as he rocked me a little. I felt so small in his strong arms, I had missed him, Alice had been wonderful, but she wasn't what I needed, she wasn't _who_ I needed.

"It's alright, just let it out. I know; I wish things were different too."

"Do you? I mean, would you want it?"

"Yes," he whispered as he kissed the top of my head. "Without a doubt, if you were still pregnant, I would love knowing you were having my child, our child. I have been so stupid, I have been so focused on my career I didn't realize that I was missing out on more important things."

"Are you sure? I mean, I thought you wanted to wait, that we weren't ready for it yet."

"Bella, if there is one thing that all of this has taught me, it's that you can't always prepare for the things that life throws at you, you just have to try to keep up. I wasn't keeping up, I was focusing on what I could control. I can control the situation in a trauma, I couldn't control how empty I felt knowing that you were suffering and that we lost a child we never got to know."

At the mention of the baby, I began to cry again, clinging desperately to Edward's shirt. This was what I needed, him, he needed to reassure me that it would be alright, that we could come back from this. This conversation didn't solve everything, but for once in his life, I felt like he was taking apart his wall of defenses. He was letting me in and just talking, not censoring his comments and trying to control things.

We sat there silently for several minutes, with me crying and him rocking me in his lap, smoothing down the hair on my back. I felt so empty all of a sudden, like the loss was finally making its way known, I was crying to let the grief out, not over him anymore. I had been so upset that he didn't come back that I was not letting this out, letting it go, I was bottling it up.

I didn't know how I was going to just go back to normal life after this, there were so many things said, so many things done that cut into me. I wasn't strong enough to put all the pieces of our broken marriage back together by myself, and I wasn't sure if Edward being here, being honest was either. I had a feeling that we were going to need help getting back to Bella and Edward. The people we were when this relationship started.

"Edward?" I rasped as I used the back of my good hand to wipe my eyes.

"Yes love?"

"Do you think we should go see someone about all this? About us?"

"What do you mean? Like a psychiatrist? Bella, I really don't know if that is necessary."

"I can't fix this by myself," I whispered in a defeated voice.

"I'm here, I can help, we can get through this, it's our marriage, we can fix it together."

He didn't get it, I wasn't sure if I could trust him not to run again, I wasn't sure if I could trust the fact that he wouldn't jump right back into the place that we were before I got pregnant, before all of this happened. I wasn't healthy, and I gave up major parts of myself to make him happy. Somewhere along the way, I lost myself, and even though I loved _Couture_, it wasn't going to make me feel whole again.

"Please?"

"Bella, I really don't like the idea of some shrink analyzing and picking our marriage apart. We are both mature, logical people, I know we can fix this if we try."

"I don't know if I can."

"Can what?"

"Fix this, without help I mean, I don't think we can do this by ourselves."

He sighed loudly and sat me up so he could look in my eyes.

"Bella, why do you think we need to involve someone else in our business? Do you really want to expose yourself to that kind of scrutiny?"

I got up off his lap and stood in front of him, placing my hands on my hips. I was not going to be bullied into submission, this is exactly what I was thinking, he wanted to control everything, and that included me.

"Edward, I'm serious, I'm not going to be capable of fixing this by myself, and you are just going to put your wall back up the second we leave this bedroom. I know you, once this is pushed out of your mind long enough, it doesn't matter anymore, and if you don't think about how much this affected me every time you make a decision regarding our marriage, then I can't trust you."

"How long am I going to pay for this mistake?"

"You think that is what I am trying to do, punish you? God Edward, I can forgive you, but I don't know how to forget this. And what happens when we do have a child someday and things get hard, how will I know you won't just run away again? I won't ever be able to have children with you if I can't trust that you will be there, through all of the hard stuff."

He ran his hands through his hair, pulling it out into a mess of spikes, looking down towards the floor, his face twisted into one of confusion.

"I'm not comfortable bringing someone else into this."

"Well I can't fix this alone, so if you won't go, then I don't know where that leaves us."

He looked up at me in alarm, searching my eyes for something.

"What does that mean? Are you going to leave me? Bella, I will do whatever it takes, but I know that we can work this out ourselves."

I shook my head at him and uttered the phrase that could change my entire future.

"If you won't go with me, then maybe we need some time apart to figure out what we want. I will be going regardless, but the decision over whether you want this marriage to continue is now up to you. If you come with me and we get some help to build back up our trust in each other, then I will stay, but if not, then maybe I need to go stay with Em for a while."

Edward jumped up from the bed, crushing me to his chest, and tucking my head under his chin.

"Please, please don't go, I can't lose you Bella, without you, none of it means anything."

"Then come with me," I whispered as I listened to Edward's agonized breathing.

"On one condition," he choked out as he held me securely to his chest.

"Which is?"

"That I get to pick who we go see. I don't want some hack ripping apart our relationship."

Of course he would want to pick who we saw, that inherent need to control everything was still there, still pushing its way to the surface, but he was right, we needed someone who could deal with this and guide us through it. I only hoped that it wasn't too late.

"Ok," I said pulling back from his tight embrace.

"But can we go eat something now, I feel like my stomach is on fire. And I could really use something to take the edge off," I said waving my malformed cast at my side.

He chuckled for a moment before he bent down and scooped me up in his arms, and headed towards the staircase.

"I can walk, I broke my wrist, not my leg," I giggled as he made his way gracefully down the staircase.

"I know, but I told you that I want to take care of you, and I am going to. Now what would you like for lunch?"

I didn't even know what kind of food we had in the refrigerator, I hadn't gone grocery shopping since before my doctor's appointment, but I knew that we at least had a loaf of bread.

"Grilled cheese?"

Edward set me down in one of the stools at the kitchen island and grabbed the loaf of bread off the top of the fridge plopping it down next to the stove.

"Tomato soup?" he asked as he started making his way towards the pantry.

"Do you even need to ask?"

"I guess not," he laughed as he gathered up the rest of the supplies to make our lunch, giving me a kiss on the cheek before he started pulling out the pans.

The next few months would dictate whether or not we were going to make it though this, but with moments like these, I had hope that we would.

***

Later that day, Edward forced me to go back to the hospital with him to get my cast sawed off and a new one put on. The rain has caused the plaster to twist a little, so it wasn't sitting right and would compromise the healing of my wrist. I was already going to be stuck in the thing for two months, so he wanted to make sure that I was actually healed correctly when it came off.

Thankfully, he was able to get his resident, Dr. Weber to put on my cast so I wasn't subjected to waiting in the thralls of people in the emergency room. I cried the entire ride home because when we were there, all of the nurses and doctors who knew about what happened kept throwing me sympathetic glances and saying words of condolence. I knew that they were only trying to be supportive, but I hated having the constant reminder.

Edward took the first few days off of work that week, and I had been granted a week of paid vacation leave because of what had happened. No one at the office except for Suzanna and Alice knew all the details, so they just told everyone that my wrist was the reason for my extended absence. I was grateful, because I didn't really know anyone at work well enough to share this kind of information with them.

Esme kept calling me after Edward went back to work, trying to get me to come over to the house to spend time with her, but it was too soon for me to really talk about it with her. I knew that she had been through it too, but it was still a little too fresh in my mind.

I spent countless hours on the phone with Ali all that week, analyzing Jasper's behavior. They had been practically inseparable since she had returned home from babysitting me, but he was being the perfect gentleman. I had a feeling that Rose might have had something to do with his behavior, but I couldn't ask her about it, because then she would have been suspicious about how long their relationship had been going on.

My mother insisted on coming over to help me with things the end of that week, and she spent hours trying to reassure me that everything would be fine and I would be able to get pregnant again and have more children. I knew that she was trying to help, but I wasn't ready to think about that yet, I was more focused on making sure my marriage didn't fall apart.

The beginning of the next week, Em was finally able to convince me to come over to see Rose and the baby. I mean, I loved Evan and I wanted to see him again, out of the hospital, but every time I thought about going over there, I would burst into tears. After about three hours of prodding, I finally acquiesced and held him, and I had to admit, it was nice. I ended up in my bed curled up and crying when Edward came home that night, but it was progress. The idea of spending time with my nephew didn't seem so daunting anymore.

That was the week that we had our first session with Dr. Vines, a trained psychotherapist who specialized in family therapy and grief counseling. I guess we got the best of both worlds when Edward chose her, but Carlisle had sent some of the families of patients he had lost to her, so I knew that she had to be the best in the city.

Edward was still adamant that we didn't need her to get through this, but he relented on his protests when he realized that I was serious about separating if we didn't deal with this. I didn't want to continue going through the motions of a broken marriage. I loved him, and I wanted it to work out, but I couldn't live in a constant state of anxiety.

She was nice enough, very professional, and she liked to ask the difficult questions. She set Edward's temper off several times in that first session, and I was sure I was going to hear his ranting the whole way home. I loved it; I had never seen anyone able to pick him apart as well as she could. She knew exactly what questions to ask him, and she prodded him when his answers were not entirely truthful. He kept trying to build the walls back up, but her questions were like sledgehammers.

After that first session, she decided that we would each need to go in for private sessions once a week, and a group session every other week. That way she could get to the heart of the problems we were having without us fearing instant retribution by the other party. I was grateful for that, there were things that I told her that I would have never had the nerve to tell her in front of Edward, and I hoped that the same was true of him.

She also never told the other party what was said in our private sessions, it was up to us to bring up a topic during our couples sessions. Surprisingly enough, Edward brought up several valid points during our second couples session. His biggest fear was failure, and not having much experience with it didn't prepare him to be able to deal with something as serious as a miscarriage. He didn't have the adequate coping mechanisms that most people had, and therefore crumbled under the pressure, confirming his fears.

I knew that it had been really hard for him to talk to me about that, but he did, and it made me hopeful for progress.

I returned to work mid week of the second week, and Suzanna welcomed me back with open arms. My article in the issue had gotten countless hits on the online component of the magazine, and they had received several letters to the magazine complimenting me on my witty evaluations of the books. My column still hadn't been greenlighted by the publishing executives, but it was a start.

I spent the remainder of the week scoping out new books and authors for my next article, and learning how to cope with only the use of my right hand. Typing was out of the question, so I had to resort to writing all my notes out by hand, because the stenographer they sent had creeped me out. She kept flashing me this toothy grin, and it was throwing off my concentration.

Alice continued to be baffled by Jasper's behavior, but they were getting closer by the minute, it was only a matter of time before something happened between them.

That week was also spent in email correspondence with my mother in law, Rosalie, Jacob, and Esme's niece Vanessa regarding the upcoming charity gala. We had managed to pull together some press announcements care of Rosalie's office, and Vanessa's graphic design firm was in charge of coming up with the print ads publicizing the Masquerade Ball.

Most of my contacts at local Seattle businesses had agreed to donate services or money towards the cause, and somehow I managed to get the food catered by a team of area restaurants for free. Esme was impressed, and she was pleased that her budget was now a little less tight.

Alice also tried to help out, but since she was spending most of her free time with Jasper, she was only able to provide me with contacts, but her help was valuable nonetheless.

At home, things were better; Edward was being scouted for his upcoming residency, so he was busy at work contacting hospitals to see which would be the best fit for his match list. I was happy that he wanted to stay in the area, because I knew that some of his fellow interns were interested in branching out to different states when it came time for their residencies. Luckily, Tanya was one of them, rumor had it that she was planning on moving to New York or Chicago. I was not going to miss her one bit.

Edward and I spent his free evenings talking, or going out to dinner, he was trying to do as much as possible to lighten my work load at home. I felt kind of useless not being able to do things like wash pots and pans by myself, but it was nice to be taken care of for once. He truly meant it when he said that he wanted to take care of me, and so far, at home, it was working.

The only times that he really ever withdrew from me was when he got home from his private sessions with Dr. Vines. He didn't like feeling insecure, and she seemed to bring that out in him. I knew that he was trying, but he needed to want it for it to work. If he wasn't going to let her in, the therapy wasn't going to work. I tried to get him to talk about it with me, but he wouldn't and I felt like he was pushing me away and pulling me in at the same time.

Edward had also made several attempts over the weeks to contact my father to apologize for his behavior, Charlie still didn't trust him and kept trying to convince me to come stay with him for awhile in Forks, but Edward still tried anyways.

Emmett was initially pissed at him, but he realized that Edward was doing a lot of things well outside his comfort zone to make me happy and to work on our marriage. He also realized that it would be a hard position to be put in as a husband, although I had a feeling that Emmett would have run from his problems.

Rose forgave him after a few well placed smacks to the back of his head, and reluctantly introduced him to his new nephew. He adored Evan, and it was strange seeing him react that positively to a baby. I guess he had been telling me the truth when he told me he would have been excited to be a father. The miscarriage had seemed to put everything into perspective for him, and he constantly talked about starting a family sometime soon.

After the bleeding from the miscarriage stopped, I had made a trip into see Dr. Rucker at the beginning of the third week. He assured me that I didn't have any scarring and that my ovaries seemed to be in good condition, so it wouldn't be a problem to conceive once we were ready. He told me to take it easy for the next few weeks, and that after a few months, that my body would probably be back to normal and we could start trying again.

I didn't have the heart to tell him that I didn't even know if we would be trying again. Edward might have been ready for it now, but I wasn't anymore, I needed time to process everything.

The feelings of emptiness subsided as the weeks went by, but I meant what I said to Edward, I wasn't sure if I could trust him enough to try to have children with him. That realization was heartbreaking, a few months ago I would have bent over backwards to mother his children, but I guess that that was part of the problem. I lost too much of my self when we officially became a married 'we', and if I was going to be able to heal, I was going to have to be able to deal with figuring out where I stood in our marriage.

All in all, the first three weeks after losing the baby was hectic, but it held promise that maybe eventually things would get better.

***

As I rode in the elevator on my way up to the sixth floor, I leaned back against the railing and took several deep breaths. It had been a long day, and I was exhausted, especially considering that Ali had dragged me to every store imaginable in the mall looking for THE dress. She was hell bent on seducing Jasper on their date; and in the red dress we found her, he was not going to be able to resist.

This was going to be my third solo session with Dr. Vines, and I was getting a little nervous. She had been working her way up to talking with me about the miscarriage, and today was going to be the day. The last few weeks she has really been trying to figure out how our marriage worked and our attitudes and feelings towards each other. Before I talked to her, I hadn't really realized how much I had villianized Edward for his behavior without really talking to him about it. I had told him how much thing annoyed me, and done the usual wife nagging behavior, but I had never really flat out sat him down and told him how some of his actions made me feel.

That by no means got him off the hook for his behavior towards me, but it explained why he was oblivious to the fact that it was affecting me so much. I tended to suck it in and box it up, and Alice was really the only person who I ever talked to about it. Dr. Vines had told me that in order for us to get to the point where our trust could be restored and built upon, I had to be able to express my feelings with him freely and in the moment. Bringing up old grudges I held against him when I never told him about them only pushed us further apart.

Then the doors slid open, I took in a deep breath and made my way down the familiar hallway, to the frosted glass door of Dr. Vine's practice. She worked with a few other therapists in the family practice area, so the waiting area was usually filled with all kinds of different people.

When I opened the door, it was surprisingly quiet, there was a woman with two small children sitting in the corner of the waiting area, but other than that, it was empty.

I walked up to the reception area and checked in with the receptionist Alec, so he would let Dr. Vines know that I was here.

"Bella Cullen, four o'clock," I said quietly as he searched his appointment list and highlighted my name.

"She'll be with you shortly, feel free to have a seat Mrs. Cullen."

Before I sat down, I grabbed a copy of some home and garden magazine, and flipped through it casually as I waited. It was always interesting to see the layouts of different magazines now that I had first hand knowledge of how everything was put together. It had all seemed so cut and dry to me before, but now I could appreciate all of the people that it took to pull something like it together.

"Bella," Dr. Vines said brightly, flashing me a warm smile as she pulled the door open and motioned for me to follow her back to her office.

Private sessions with her were always much different than the couples ones that Edward and I attended every other week.

At the couples sessions, Edward and I sat together on the couch in the middle of her office, and she would sit in a wing back chair centered facing it on the other side of a small coffee table. When I came in for my private sessions, we sat near the windows in two plush upholstered chairs facing each other, sitting only a few feet apart. It was a much more intimate setting, and it was comforting knowing that I could relax and be myself.

Once I was seating, Dr. Vines picked up my patient file and walked over to the small coffee maker that was on top of a bookcase by the door.

"Would you like any Bella?"

"No, no thank you, I have been trying to stay away from the caffeine."

"I can get you a bottle of water if you would like," she offered as she tucked my file under her arm and picked up her coffee cup.

"That would be lovely Dr. Vines, thank you."

"Bella, you can call me Kate when we are in these sessions, and there is no need to be so formal with me."

"Alright Kate, thank you, that would be nice."

She smiled brightly at me, reached down into a mini fridge and pulled out a bottle of water before she came over to sit down in her chair. I had always wondered whether she invited Edward to call her Kate too, but I was sure with his somewhat stiff nature, she probably hadn't. She was an expert at judging just how to effectively communicate with her patients. I bet that Edward had opted to remain plastered in the center of the stiff leather couch during his sessions.

Once she had settled her cup and pulled open my file in front of her, she jumped right in.

"So, I know that in the past few sessions, we have been talking about your marriage, and your feelings of resentment towards Edward's treatment of you since the wedding. Today we are going to visit that a little later on, but I think that you are ready to talk about the real reason why you are here. You have had a few weeks to reflect upon it now, and I think that you are ready to talk to me about it without breaking down."

Now if only I could be quite so confident about my ability to hold in the tears when it came to talking about losing the baby.

"Ok, first tell me about how you felt when you found out that you were pregnant. I know that there wasn't much time between then and when you lost the baby, but I know that you seemed to have formed an attachment to the idea."

Well, that seemed easy enough, I knew how I felt about it, I had spent hours letting it all sink in.

"At first, I was very confused and frightened by the whole thing. I was afraid that Edward would be upset that I got pregnant, especially with his stance on protection and timing, so when he first told me, my reaction was to panic."

"Why do you think that is? Were you panicking because of Edward, or because you were scared of being a parent? Or was it something else entirely?"

Um, all of the above…..

"Initially, I was scared of being a parent, I don't know much about babies, what I do know has been knowledge learned since Rose gave birth to Evan. Then the more I thought about it, I was afraid that Edward would be mad at me. He has always insisted on sticking to 'the plan', so I was worried about his reaction."

She scribbled a few things down in her notebook, and then asked me another follow up question.

"So were you afraid that Edward would reject the idea of being a father, or that he would be disappointed in you for as you have said, letting yourself get pregnant?"

I chewed on my bottom lip and toyed with the wrapper of the water bottle as I tried to figure out how to word this.

"I wasn't afraid that Edward would reject the idea of being a father, because he has told me that he wants children, both before and now, but I was afraid that I would have to convince him to be excited about the pregnancy. It didn't fall into the timeline that he has always insisted on following. You know how regimented he is about everything, so focused and logical, I was afraid that he would be disappointed in the fact that he didn't have time to prepare for it all."

She continued to take notes in my file as I took a few quick gulps of the fresh water. It seemed to calm me down, and I was surprised at how well she had been easing me into the topic. She knew how to draw me into it and get me to talk about my insecurities.

"So besides your fears about how your husband would react, how did _you_ feel about the idea of being a mother?"

I clucked my tongue on the roof of my mouth a few times before I responded, I had gone through a bevy of emotions during that forty-eight hour period of time, so it was hard to slow down and process all of them.

"After the initial shock wore off, I was excited, and I wanted to tell him right away, but he was paged to go into the hospital in the middle of me working up the nerve to tell him."

"How did that make you feel, knowing that he left to go back to work when you were trying to have a serious conversation with him?"

"Angry," I blurted out without even thinking about it.

"Ok, so you were angry, what were you angry about?"

"I was angry that he was walking out when I was going to tell him something important, angry that he was leaving when he was supposed to be home, angry that I was being a coward by not telling him to stay. I guess I was just angry that I didn't have any control over the situation."

"Did you ever tell him that you were angry when he left to go to work when he was supposed to be home?"

That was something that I had never really considered, I had whined about it, but I had never really told him that I was flat out angry, it was his job, I thought that he had to go, I never really thought that there was any other option when he got paged, even if he wasn't on call.

"No."

"And why is that?"

"Because it wasn't my place."

"I don't believe that, you are his wife, his partner, why isn't it your place to tell him how you feel when he goes back into work when he isn't scheduled to be there."

"It's different for a doctor's wife."

"Is it really? If he was on call and got paged, yes, it would be part of his job. But if they call him in when he isn't supposed to be in the hospital, and he is neglecting his time spent at home, and you, then it is your place."

I sat there and thought about what she was telling me, without saying it in so many words, she was telling me that I needed to be more honest with him about my feelings, because if I didn't he was not going to know the effect he was having on me.

"Alright, let's get back to the previous question. What other feelings did you have about the pregnancy?"

"Like I said, I was excited, I had started daydreaming about it. I even spent a half hour in a baby boutique on my lunch break that Friday."

"What else happened that Friday?"

"Rose went into labor and I had to take her to the hospital."

"Did it have to be you?"

What was that supposed to mean? Was I just supposed to leave my pregnant sister in law to have her baby in the half bath while I rested at home. There was no one else who could have taken her.

"She was alone, my brother was still travelling home from a business trip, and her parents were in the city. Her water had already broken, and I needed to take her."

"How did you feel about that? You were obviously overwhelmed with the news of the pregnancy, and then you were being forced to step in for your brother in the birth of his child."

"She's my sister, she was giving birth to my nephew, I couldn't leave her to do that by herself."

"That didn't answer my question Bella, how did it make you feel?"

"Scared, I was scared, I didn't know what I was supposed to do, and no one could get ahold of Emmett."

"Do you blame them for what happened to your child?"

"Why would I blame them for the miscarriage?" I said angrily, it was a ridiculous notion, it wasn't their fault.

"What if the stress from the situation caused you to have it?"

"There is no way to know that, it would be impossible to know what caused it, it could have been any number of things."

She smiled at me, and I knew that she had been baiting me, she wanted to see if I held any feelings of resentment towards the stress that being there and the lack of sleep during my time at the hospital.

"So you are accepting the fact that there was no way to prevent it?"

"I guess, I mean, I probably could have done a better job taking care of myself, I didn't sleep for hours on end, and I didn't really eat much at all while I was there."

I had always sort of placed the blame for it all back on myself, I wasn't taking care of my body.

"So you blame yourself?"

"I did."

"So you don't now?"

"I honestly don't know, but I know that there was nothing I could have done to change it, it just happened. There are too many what ifs for me to go through."

It had taken me weeks to get to this point, but I felt like I could really accept the fact that there was nothing I could have done to prevent this. If I had been further along and on bed rest or something I could have probably found something or someone to place blame on, but at six weeks, there wasn't really anything to have been done.

"Ok, so now that we have established that there is really no one thing to place the blame on concerning the miscarriage. How did it feel when Edward walked out when you were in the hospital room? You always seem to skim over that part when you are in a couples session."

"I felt like I was falling apart. Like I really had disappointed him for not telling him about the baby, and then not being able to keep it alive. I was afraid he felt like I was lying to him by not telling him right away. But I guess most of all, I felt like maybe I had never been enough for him."

She paused for a moment to take a sip of her coffee, and then scratched down a few notes before she spoke again.

"Why do you think you are so insecure when it comes to Edward?"

Why wouldn't I be insecure? But it's not like she would accept that as an answer.

"I guess I never really thought that I was in the same league as him. He's smart, and driven, he comes from a wealthy family, he was Mr. Popularity in college, I guess I never really thought that I warranted his affection towards me."

"Do you agree with Edward's arguments in the couples sessions that you don't have a clear perception of yourself?"

"No, I really don't. I'm plain, I always have been. I am the middle of the road, average, vanilla person who doesn't really stand out. I mean, I know to a certain extent that I am pretty, and that I am smart, but other than that, I never really thought that I would have interested someone like Edward."

She shook her head at me, she hated it when I put myself down, but I knew those things about myself were true. I never really knew why people were drawn to me.

"What do you mean by someone like Edward? What does he have that you wouldn't be worthy of?"

"Um, have you seen my husband?" I said sarcastically as Kate rolled her eyes at me.

"Is it because he is good looking and wealthy? Or because of who he is as a person?"

"I guess both."

"Have you stopped to think that maybe the reason there is the rift in your marriage is because he has been compensating for not feeling worthy of your affections by trying to be the best in his field?"

"Why would he do that?"

She laughed at me again as she responded, "Why would you think that you aren't pretty enough or smart enough for him?"

"Because I'm insecure."

"And Edward isn't?"

"He never acts like he is."

"Do you think that maybe his actions are defense mechanisms? Much like you use sarcasm and wit as yours."

I guess I had never really thought that Edward had any reasons to feel insecure, or that he would ever need defense mechanisms. He had always seemed so put together to me, always the perfect student, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect son.

"Ok, so tell me about what happened when you went home without him."

"What do you want to know?"

"What were you thinking? How were you feeling?"

"I was heartbroken, I thought that I had ruined my marriage and my child had died. I also felt bad for making Alice take care of me."

"Did you hold a gun to Alice's head?"

"No."

"Then maybe she wanted to take care of you."

I thought about that for a moment, I guess I had just been feeling sorry for myself in that moment, Alice loved me, and she defended me multiple times if she didn't want to be there, she wouldn't have done those things.

"Were you afraid that Edward was not going to come back?"

"Yes," I whispered as a single tear escaped out of the corner of my eye.

"Hey, no crying, you have been doing really well Bella."

I chuckled at her as he handed me a tissue. She would let me cry if I needed to, but she wanted me to realize how strong I was.

"How did you feel when he did come back?"

"I guess I was sad at first, he was so broken up about everything, and then I got really, really angry."

"Did you tell him you were angry?"

"Yes, I yelled at him. I told him I would leave if he didn't go to therapy with me."

"Did he take that well?"

I laughed again, remembering how adamant he had been about us getting through it without professional help.

"No, he said he didn't want to have some 'hack' tear our marriage apart."

"Is that how therapy has felt to you? Like I am trying to tear you apart?"

"No, you have helped me realize that I was not communicating with him, and that maybe I am worthy of his affections. You have made me realize that a marriage is a partnership, and that I need to stop putting myself down as well as putting up with the things he does that anger me."

Kate looked over my shoulder towards the clock on her wall, and I could tell that our session was probably getting to an end.

"Well, I think that we have made a lot of progress here today, when you come in next week with Edward, I want you to tell him one thing that you never would have told him before this happened. It needs to be something about how he makes you feel in your marriage."

"Couldn't give me an easy assignment huh?"

"You should know better than that by now Bella, I like to push your buttons, and his for that matter. You will never get anywhere if I don't."

We both stood up and made our way towards the lobby, her passing over my session sheet to Alec so he could collect my co-pay for the week.

"I'll see you next Wednesday for your couples session Bella, don't forget your assignment."

"Thank you Dr. Vines," I said with a smile.

After I had finished up with Alec and made my way back to my car, I drove home with the feeling that maybe we would be able to get through all of this and get back to being Bella and Edward again.

**

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A/N: So…..Bella made a lot of progress from the last chapter, and maybe Assward will be beaten into submission from now on. I hope that you all enjoyed this, and in the next chapter you will get a peek into what a couples therapy session is like with the both of them. Edward may not be happy with what Bella plans to say to him.**

**Just a reminder to those of you interested in entering the one-shot contest, entries must be PMed to me or any of the other hosts by 10 pm central time tomorrow. See my profile for complete guidelines and further directions.**

**Also, don't forget to check out the thread on Twilighted, we will be posting previews of next week's chapters sometime this week. (And we still give out pretty gifs)**

**Hope you all enjoyed it, and see you next week!**


	28. MJP

_**All things Twilight belong to the amazing Stephenie Meyer, and me . . . well I like to play with a big thing called MJP, that makes an appearance in this chapter . . . **_

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MJP**

**APOV**

The trip from the car to the elevator had been playful, but as the tension rose in the small space, and we kissed with fervor against the smooth walls of the elevator, our bodies frozen with nervousness.

Jasper had walked with me hand in hand to the door, the sexual tension was palpable between us, and sparks of pure sexual desire ran through us both. I wanted him so badly it almost physically hurt.

Standing outside my door, my stomach flopped around like a fish out of water. I felt awkward and comfortable all in the same breath. Jasper did things to me that no other man had ever been capable of. He invoked something inside of me I didn't know I was capable of feeling.

I leaned against the cool wood of the door and looked up into the endless blue of his eyes. His small smile danced on his lips as his eyes raked slowly over my body drinking me in. I knew exactly what I was doing when I dressed for this date, and even as nervous as I was now, I wasn't going to back out. I wanted him too much.

"You know," he whispered, his hand went flat against the door next to my head as he leaned in. His lips were inches from my ear as his breath brushed the loose strands of my growing hair across my shoulder. "I can't stop thinking about that kiss in the hospital, I've been wanting to kiss you like that since, but I've been trying to be the gentleman my sister would be proud of."

He was killing me; Rosalie was killing me. _Screw being a gentleman and kiss me like that again_, I thought, my heart pounding in my chest, it had been too long. My body almost ached with the pull it had towards him. I fought it with as much gusto as I could. I had been since we'd come home from New York, since the kiss we'd shared in the Hospital, but I wasn't strong enough to fight it any more, and I didn't want to.

His fingers brushed across my collarbone making me shudder with excitement, the electricity was almost palpable between us. I was screaming internally as his fingers ran the length of red material that ran from my neck to the opposite shoulder. My breathing hitched slightly as his eyes filled with desire and mischief.

His hot breath grew rampant on my neck as his finger ran the opposite line of the fabric to my chest. I wanted to moan, but I was impossibly frozen by his touch.

"Alice," my name was a guttural sound that spilled from his lips as his fingers gently danced across the fabric. "Do you know what this dress is doing to me?"

I let my head fall back against the door, and it hit with a resounding thud. Jasper chuckled and lifted his hand from the material that covered my chest and let his fingers slide behind my neck, tilting my head up so I was looking at him again.

"I'm sorry, am I making you uncomfortable?" he asked, his southern accent making an appearance with his manners.

I lifted my eyes and looked up into his, my hands slid up his chest and grasped at the collar of his crisp, white shirt. "Jasper Whitlock, you're driving me crazy."

His smirk turned quickly into a smile as his eyes darted to my lips and back to my eyes. I tugged his collar a little harder, trying to diminish his hesitance and teasing. His soft lips brushed against mine, but it was level. Careful.

I sighed and I felt his lips smile against mine. Both of his hands cupped my neck and tilted my head until I was looking up at him again. My heart pounded in my chest as his eyes bore into my soul. I hoped I didn't blurt out anything stupid if this went where I wanted it to go.

"Jasper," I breathed his name, I didn't want him to tease me anymore, and I needed him too much. This dating crap was pointless anyway, I was in love with him, and nothing would change that for me. I had no idea how he felt, but I could see the lust in his eyes, the hunger.

His lips closed over mine, the same gentleness we'd been sharing was there, but I could feel the magnetism behind it, the fire that we'd shared those first two nights. I knew I wasn't crazy.

His body pushed into mine and my back flattened against the door. The hunger of his lips parted them gently and his warm breath danced across my skin.

I parted my lips and sighed, hoping he'd take the opportunity to deepen the kiss . . . he did. His tongue glided over my lips and plunged into my warm mouth dancing a complex pattern with my tongue. There was no denying that spark anymore; it was here in full force, eating away at me like acid. Every inch of me burned for him.

His warm hands fell from my neck and roamed over my shoulders and down my arms to my hands. His fingers twined with mine as he pulled the keys from my hand.

Jasper's lips pulled away from mine, but traveled down my neck to the strip of red fabric. He kissed along it to my shoulder, his lips and warm breath bathing my skin and making every nerve in my body tingle. He consumed me.

As my breaths became more labored, his lips stopped on my shoulder and he peppered kisses on my pale skin. "I think we should move this inside."

I nodded, unable to form a coherent sentence while his hot breath on my cool skin sent shivers down my spine. His lips touched mine again briefly before I felt the door vibrate behind me.

He threw the door open, but before I could fall backwards; his arm snaked around my waist and pulled me to him. Did I mention I love him?

He walked me backwards into the condo, his long legs on either side of mine as his large strides pulled me back into the apartment. My legs moved quickly and I couldn't stop the laugh that came with it. It seemed to remove the last traces of awkwardness between us.

"You have a beautiful laugh," he smiled and kissed my neck again. Without a word in response, my hands moved over his broad shoulders as I fought to keep myself upright. My entire body was jelly; I was putty in his capable hands.

He pulled the keys from the door and pushed it closed gently with his free hand. He dangled the keys in front of me with a laugh. I pointed to the floor with a smirk. Jasper shook his head and threw them on the floor pulling me to him as the arm he'd used for the door wrapped tightly around my waist.

I wanted so desperately to strip and just have my way with him where we stood, but I knew I had to take my time, savor the moment.

This man had successfully driven me crazy for three weeks, I knew it would be worth every second, I just had no idea how much . . . I couldn't even put a label on this pull between us . . . this thing would make it impossible to resist him. Even though I couldn't label it, even though I had no way to describe what the force was between us, I knew I needed it, craved it. I needed him.

With his arms tightened around my waist, his lips met mine. His warm lips pressed against mine before his lips parted again and his tongue followed the curve of my top lip. I parted my lips and let my tongue meet his as my hands tangled into the mass of his blond hair. I held him to me as our tongues danced in perfect harmony.

Jasper loosened his arms around my waist and let his hands travel to my hips. He was bent over me a little and knowing how uncomfortable that would be, I almost anticipated his next move. In the heat of the moment I was ready for it. I could get close enough to him this way.

I moaned into his mouth as his grip became a little tighter. He broke the kiss, but dragged me up his body until he was standing up straight, my legs tangled around his waist as I clung to him with desperation. Every part of me wanted this man, and if I didn't get my way I was surely going to combust.

Jasper backed me into a wall, it was flush against my back, supporting my weight and leaving his hands free to roam over my body. Our eyes connected again and I knew neither of us would be stopping, both of us wanted this to happen, both of us had an animalistic need for one another.

"Alice," Jasper's warm, deep voice pulled me from my own mind. His eyes conveyed everything I felt and for the first time, I realized this passionate current of electricity between us was new for him too.

"Mmm," I hummed my answer knowing I was incapable of forming a word right now let alone a sentence.

"If you don't want this to go any further you have to tell me to stop now." His voice was thick and gritty with his passion and it seemed to pierce my heart, sending a wave of heated emotion through my veins.

"Are you insane?" I giggled, okay so I was capable of forming words, but his comment had shocked me a little, his consideration for me was blowing my mind. I leaned in closer, rocking my hips against his body warranting a groan from him. I stopped only when my mouth was inches from his ear. "I have never wanted anything more in my life than I want you."

His chest crashed into me, his hands captured mine, pinning them to the wall above me as he intertwined our fingers. His lips attacked my neck, his tongue darting out to taste me as he worked towards my jaw. My body moved of it's own accord, rocking against him creating the friction I so desperately needed.

The movements had his lips crashing against mine again; his tongue plunged inside as his hips rocked against me. I fought to keep the whimper from escaping as his erection brushed against me. It was hopeless of course; he swallowed the sound I released as he thrust against me again.

He released my hands and met my eyes with his own, both of our chests were rising and falling with the need of air, silent words passed between us. Jasper's hands slid down my spine, supporting my weight as he stepped away from the wall, his arms held me tightly to him as he fought to pull away from the kiss.

"Bedroom?"

I pointed to the door that led to my room and grinned, I didn't know if he was asking whether it was or permission to take me, either way he got his answer. My tongue made a lap across my bottom lip before my teeth dug into the flesh.

Jasper walked slowly towards the door, he didn't say a word but our eyes were locked together as he moved, my hands ran across the hair at the nape of his neck, my thumb smoothed down the wild strands that seemed unwilling to be tamed. It was such a simple gesture, but with our heightened emotions and senses it sent a shiver down his spine.

He growled at me, and his head lunged towards mine, a wicked smile dancing across his lips. His lips closed around my bottom lip and he sucked it gently before sinking his teeth into the flesh.

The shock and eroticism of it made my hips roll against him, grinding my overheated core into his very obvious excitement. He pushed me up against the wall beside the door, the slight jolt sending the air rushing out of my lungs. Fuck me that was hot, just knowing he wasn't going to treat me like a porcelain doll anymore made my panties damper. His hands rode up under my dress until the slid over my trembling thigh. His hands tightened around the skin there and he squeezed.

His hands being on such an intimate part of my body tripled the heat that ran through me and I closed my eyes and groaned. His teeth freed my lip and his tongue plunged into mouth with a heightened sense of desperate need. I didn't just want him any more; I needed him. It was a passion filled desperation.

Jasper twisted the handle on the door and pushed it open with a little more force than necessary but I could have cared less, the door could have fallen from the hinges and I wouldn't have cared, every part of my mind, body and soul was wrapped up in the man that had his body twisted against mine.

He pulled me from the wall and stumbled into the room as my hands brushed through his blond hair. My stomach exploded into a million fragments that bounced around in my body making my skin tingle with excitement. I finally knew what my friends had meant when they said sex with the man you love is different.

Different seemed like the wrong word, we hadn't gotten to the sex yet, but the touching and kissing was fan-fucking-tastic.

Jasper's knees hit the bed as he stumbled into it. I laughed breathily into his mouth as he hissed at the sensation. So he dropped me. I bounced on the mattress a couple of times before stilling. I looked up at him, my mouth half open and half smirking at his playfulness.

I was shocked at the look on his face. It was hungry but the serenity surrounding it was breathtaking, it sent a shiver down my spine. He crawled onto the bed, one of his knees planting itself between my legs as he moved up my body. He steadied himself above me on his forearms, his eyes sparkling with excitement and anticipation.

My arms hooked under his and curved up over his shoulders, my thumbs dancing across the fabric of his shirt, as his eyes searched mine silently. There was a silent stillness between us as we drank one another in. It was empowering and liberating, this was really going to happen and it was highly obvious we would enjoy every second of it. Jasper moved his hand to brush a strand of hair from my eyes.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered, and for the first time in a long time I felt it. The way he looked at me, the way he regarded me, all of it made me feel beautiful and I was happy, one hundred percent honestly and truly happy.

He ran his nose along the length of mine, his warm breath dancing over my face. I smiled and let my eyes slide closed as he let his lips explore the contours of my face. He kissed my eyes, my nose, and the apples of my cheeks, my temples, and the skin below my ears, my chin and finally my lips again.

The hand that had moved the strand of hair traced the line of my jaw and then down my neck and across my shoulders, it moved down my side and his thumb brushed the outline of my breast making me drag in a deeper breath. He took the opportunity to gently enter his tongue into my mouth again and I welcomed it with a throaty moan.

He was driving me insane, but I knew he was taking his time savoring every first between us, I knew because I was doing the same, storing it all away in my memory so I would always have this perfect moment.

My body tensed as his hand gripped my ribs before dancing over them with feather light touches. I squirmed a little as he danced over them, I was terribly ticklish, but this had a note of eroticism to it that I enjoyed.

His fingers danced over the dainty buckle of my belt, my breathing picked up and stuttered in his mouth as we deepened our kiss again. One of my arms slowly traveled down his back memorizing every muscle that tensed and strained as my hand passed over it.

In the flick of his wrist, Jasper had unbuckled my belt and was sliding it slower than I ever thought possible from around my waist; my heightened sensitivity felt every seam on the belt as it moved. I arched my back, pushing my chest into his as he finished the task. I heard the gently slap of it as it fell to the floor.

Jasper's lips left mine as he pushed himself up. He was hovering over me again, his eyes were heavily hooded, but his lips were twisted into a mischievous smile. I propped myself up on my elbows and raised my eyebrows at him. He was such a mystery to me, and it just made me love him even more.

His lips pressed against mine lightly and he shifted his weight. His leg slid up my thigh and brushed against my heated center, every part of my body had been sensitive from the moment I realized what was about to happen, but the friction that his thigh created against my heat almost sent me over the edge. A sighing moan fell from my lips as he rocked forward again creating another wave of divine friction between us.

My arms fell from his shoulders to my sides as I arched my back again. This time, Jasper's arm wrapped around me, holding me to him. His lips coasted over my shoulder to my neck and his sucked and nibbled at the skin there. Damn he was good at this.

I couldn't stop my legs from bending and my shoed feet digging into the bed below me as the sensations rocked through my body, my hips lifted from the bed moving against his thigh. His teasing was driving me insane.

Jasper lowered my body to the bed as his lips moved further down my chest. He once again followed the line of the dress to my chest; only his lips had replaced his fingers this time around.

His hands moved slowly down my sides, over my hips, then resting gently on my thighs. He moved them back up the bare skin slowly, pushing the dress higher up as his hands disappeared under the fabric. His fingers traced the line that my bent legs had created between my thighs and my hips making me squirm.

The breath I drew in stuttered as I fought the urge to laugh and moan with the same breath. His head snapped up and his eyes narrowed playfully.

"You're ticklish." He whispered quietly, circling his fingers on the sensitive skin. I wiggled beneath him as my laugh won the battle.

"I know," I giggled, wriggling and writhing beneath him as his gentle fingers pinched the skin delicately. I squealed as I wriggled beneath him now, my hands covered my face as the intensity of the situation escalated.

He stopped the movement and chuckled as my laughter died down slowly. His lips brushed across my forehead, tracing the line of my hair to my ear. His warm breath danced over it and it eased me back into the ravenous hunger I had for him.

"I want to learn everything about you," he murmured quietly, he took my earlobe between his teeth before sucking on it hedonistically.

I wanted to tell him so many things in that one moment but the sybaritic pleasure took control and a moan flowed from my mouth. I didn't know it was possible to have so many emotions running through my body simultaneously. I was on sensory overload.

As he continued his ministrations on my ear, I let my hands wonder to his chest. My shaky fingers pushed the first button through the hole, revealing a little more of the alabaster skin of his chest to me.

My fingers moved slowly down the line working on each button as Jasper's tongue danced across the flesh of my neck, replaced occasionally by his lips. His hands had found the zipper that was concealed down my side and he pulled it down slowly. The teeth breathing as his prolonged movement released them from their binding.

My eyes were glued to the perfect definition of his chest though. As the last button was released, the crisp starched material fell open revealing the perfect muscular definition of his chest and abs. He was magnificent.

I let my hands roam up his sinewy body, my hands memorizing every peak and valley of his muscular stature as they moved. He was perfect. I let my hands roam up and under the material at his shoulders; I pushed the material down his arms until he was forced to move so I could pull it off completely.

He pushed himself up onto his knees and the full beauty of this man was right before me. I knew he'd had the perfect v the day I had met him, but the full power of it unleashed here in front of me had me reeling. Not even my imagination could come up with the perfection of his body. The lines disappeared into the band of his pants and at that moment, I wanted nothing more that to follow them.

Jasper's proficient hands moved to my thighs again, this time he continued up my body, pushing the dress up my body. I lifted my hips from the bed as he pushed the material up the small of my back, I let them fall again; arching my back as he pulled the material up over my head.

Laying in my corset and panties made me realize he was entirely too over dressed for the occasion. I let my hands move quickly over his belt, but took my time with the button and zipper.

Jasper's eyes wandered over my body as I worked, his hands traced the top lines of my corset and moved slowly down where it covered my stomach to do the same with my underwear. My hands stopped their endeavor for my fruition, as his hands became the distraction. He traced the line from my hip, down over the sensitive skin to the point it disappeared between my thighs.

He smiled wickedly at me and then slid off the bed, standing up as his fingers trailed along the skin of my legs. Without much help, his pants fell to the ground, leaving him in a pair of white Ralph Lauren boxer briefs. To say I almost died was an understatement. The boy had been blessed. I couldn't stop my legs from shaking as my heels dug into the bed below me. I was not only horny as all hell, but I was scared shitless.

Jasper picked up my right calf and straightened out my leg slowly. His nimble fingers unbuckled the shoe slowly, always so fucking slowly. He eased the shoe from my foot and placed it gently on the bench at the end of my bed. I had to smile at him; he didn't throw my Manolo's. He lowered my leg it to the bed and repeated the movement with the left.

His hungry eyes drank me in again, but he held up his hand and beckoned me towards him with one finger, curling it slowly as the sexiest smile I had ever seen painted his lips. Who was I to turn the guy down, I pushed up off my elbows and rolled onto my knees. I shuffled across the bed to him and smiled hungrily as his eyes danced over me again.

"Beautiful," I wasn't sure if the mumble was intended for me to hear or not, but in the silent room, it was as loud as a gunshot.

I took a deep breath and let my hands glide up his chest to his shoulders, I needed his lips on mine again, and I needed the fire in my veins. My tongue danced across my bottom lips as I hopped to my feet and jumped into his arms.

He caught me easily and welcomed the assault of my lips against his. My arms tangled around his neck, holding on for dear life. He held me tightly in his arms, his eyes on the cherry red corset covering me. His head nodded once and I knew exactly wanted, and fuck me I was more than willing to oblige. The blue of his eyes grew darker as I arched my back and popped each of the hooks from the eyes.

The corset released its hold on my body, and fell to the ground before I pressed my chest into his with all the strength I had, I needed to feel him against me, flesh on flesh, body heat to body heat.

We both groaned at the contact, my pert nipples dug into his chest as his fingers ran up the length of my spine. I shuddered, letting my lips explore the splendor that was Jasper's jaw. He growled as I nibbled against the skin of his neck, as my fingers dug into the warm supple flesh of his shoulders.

I rolled my hips gently, his length rode against my thigh sending a thrill of excitement through me, he grunted quietly into my neck sending waves of tingles through my entire body.

I had done that.

I let my legs slide from his body and back onto the bed, his fingers trailed along my skin as I removed myself from him. We grinned at one another, our lips touching one, twice.

His long fingers traced the line of my lips but it wasn't long until the passion regained its hold over me. My tongue darted out gently and worked up to his finger. Jasper let out an audible groan as I let my lips close around the digit, I pushed my lips to the bottom and back up letting my tongue flick the end before working my way down again.

I turned us around slowly, stepping down from the bed and pushing his body against it as I pulled his finger out of my mouth with a devious smile. His eyes widened as he lowered himself to sitting, his hands brushed against the back of my thighs as he pulled me to him. I shivered with pleasure as his hands followed the curve of my ass up to the small of my back. He gripped me gently, his thumbs coming to rest under my ribs.

I stepped in between his legs, my lips pulling gently at his bottom lip, sucking and nibbling gently as I made my way to his neck. His hands loosened around me as I lowered myself slowly to my knees, kissing down his chest to his abdomen.

He groaned quietly as my palms came to rest on his thighs and my lips reached the band of his underwear. I sucked and nipped on the skin there.

His hands tangled into my hair gently and he tipped my head back. He searched my eyes for something, I expected he was looking for hesitance; but I doubted he found it, I wanted this, I wanted him.

I hooked my fingers under the waistline of his underwear and worked them down slowly. As I pulled the material over his erection, my eyes widened, I swallowed the gasp that threatened to escape my lips as I assessed the situation. To say he was big was an understatement, but along with that was the girth. I was beginning to wonder if I had enough space to accommodate him.

I let my tongue dance across my lips as I let the material fall to the floor. I kissed the head gently, earning a guttural growl from Jasper. His finger tips gently massaged my scalp as his eyes slid closed, knowing what was coming next.

I slid him into my mouth, my tongue playing gently with the tip of him as my lips curled around. Jasper's legs shook gently as I swirled my tongue a little more. I dipped my head, taking as much of him as I could, and I curled my hand around what I couldn't fit.

Every ounce of air in Jasper's lungs was expelled as I slowly slid back up, my tongue cupping his length gently as I moved. I reveled in having this much of an effect on him. I could feel every one of his muscles tensing, as I dipped my head again.

"Shit, Alice . . . so fucking good,"

His words encouraged me to pick up the pace, I would dip quickly, swirl as I reached the head, an endless cycle that elicited moans and groans from Jasper. Moans that just seemed to make me want him even more.

His voice, rough and gravely with passion made me ache for him, I needed him like I needed oxygen, but I was willing to take my time, I wanted to know all of him, every small crease and line on his sculpted body, I wanted to touch him, taste him, and just take him.

His fingers dug into my scalp, my hair tangled around his long fingers as his entire body tensed as he came closer to his release. I pulled away slowly; kissing the head gently before letting my hands slide down his thighs to his knees, so I could push myself up.

He groaned a little as his eyes opened. His perfect smile showing me his pearly white teeth. I winked at him, but before I even open my eye again, I was in his arms on the bed, one leg over his thigh, the other laying down his side, his fingers tracing my lips gently.

His lips assaulted my neck, nipping and biting. The sensation was amazing, every part of my skin seemed perfectly attuned to him, like it had been waiting for him all this time. His hand traveled down to my breast, pinching the nipple lightly at first; but when I moaned his fingers applied more pressure.

There were no need for words; our almost silent communication was enough to know what the other needed. His lips traveled further down, over my collar. He kissed down between the valley of my breasts before lifting his head just enough to take the neglected nipple between his teeth.

My back arched, pushing my chest further towards him, my hands tangled in his blond locks holding him to me as my breaths grew deeper and more urgent. I had never felt the need for somebody as much as I did for him in this moment.

Jasper's fingers released my nipple; they trailed down gently, tracing the sensitive line beneath my breast. My fingers tightened around his hair as the sensation ran through my body with a shudder.

Jasper shifted his body weight, his legs slid from the bed, and he knelt between mine, his mouth never leaving its ministration of my breast. I sighed as his smooth body slid against my skin.

His mouth finally began its descent towards my stomach. He kissed as much of my exposed flesh as he could on his way, his hands tracing what his lips had missed. His light touch combined with his wet kisses was driving me insane.

My eyes rolled into the back of my head as his fingers traced down my sides to my hips, they traced along the waistband of my panties as Jaspers lips continued their descent. His hands gripped my hips as his lips finally touched the soft band of material, the last piece of material on my entire body.

He kissed along the same path his fingers had taken along the heightened sensitivity of my abdomen. The muscles quivered under the satin feel of his lips. My core dampened and trembled in anticipation.

He lifted his head to look at me, a small smirk playing gently at the corners of his mouth. His blue eyes were dark and hungry making my breath catch in my throat. I could feel his fingers hooking under the fabric on my hips.

He tugged gently on the fabric, dragging my panties slowly down my thighs. I sighed in content, which only made his smiled grown wider. He guided them from my left leg first, lifting it and unhooking the material from my foot. He lowered it to the floor again. His hands moved to the right leg, he lifted it gently, placing it on his shoulder as the material floated to the floor.

His hungry eyes dipped to between my thighs, his tongue danced across his lips. I was aching now, every part of my body ached for him to do something. His slow torturous descent had been distracting, but now, his eyes just roamed over my center.

"Jasper," I moaned his name gently, hoping it would make him do something. I needed him to touch me.

As if my words had brought him back down to earth, his head turned slowly. His teeth grazed the skin on my thigh. I wriggled as the sensation rocked my body.

His finger traced a pattern from my thigh to my core, his lips followed slowly, nipping and tasting as he moved, as he reached my heated core, his hands grasped my hips and pulled me to the edge of the bed in one swift, rough movement.

A squeak slipped from my lips as his warm tongue dipped and nudged the sensitive nub. My back arched as he flicked the sensitivity, the heels of my hands moved to my forehead as the pure fucking ecstasy rocked through me.

His tongue swirled around the nub again as his finger separated the flesh for him to gain better access. His lips closed around the bundle of nerves and he sucked gently. My hands fell to the bed, clasping the sheets in knotted bundles as his teeth grazed the sensitive area.

I was sure my back was the perfect U shape as I arched further from the bed; pushing my fingernails deeper into the fabric I was holding onto for dear life.

With my clit firmly between his teeth, his tongue flicking it with wild abandon, his fingers followed the line down to my entrance. I tried with everything I had to hold back the rasping moan that built inside of me, but the feeling of his teeth, and the gentle penetration of his finger sent the noise spilling from me with a hopeless ardor.

Jasper hummed his satisfaction, but the vibrations brought me closer to the edge of sanity. I was about to happily fall into the divinity that was my climax when he slipped a second finger deep inside of me, curling them both as he withdrew them.

A tremor rolled through my body. "Son of a bitch, oh my, fuck . . ."

Jasper's teeth released me, but the sucking, flicking and twirling was too much and I fell happily into oblivion. My entire body locked around him and I trembled violently. My stomach felt like it had exploded into tingles and waves of pleasure, tightening and clenching as I panted and moaned.

I expected him to climb back up my body, but instead, he pulled his head away and looked at me. His fingers began moving within me again, and I shuddered. His other hand joined the first and his thumb rubbed gentle circles on my clit.

My eyes closed and rolled at the sensation, his fingers picked up the paced, pumping gently as I writhed beneath him. My teeth sunk into my bottom lip as I panted for breath. I needed him, I needed him so badly, and I couldn't stand the distance between our bodies.

"Fuck, Jasper, please,"

I held my arms out to him, beckoning him to me with a desperation I didn't know I had. His fingers moved within me, the thumb that belonged with his pumping fingers was now rubbing circles as his fingers continued to pump, his other hand steadied him as he climbed up my body, his eyes locked with mine.

His tongue circled my nipple on the way up to me. My eyes closed and my back arched once again from pleasure.

"Open your eyes Alice," He whispered, his tongue dragging up my neck.

I forced my heavy lids to open and find his eyes. We locked in on one another as his fingers curled within me, sending my over the edge, for a second time.

My body arched and rolled, but I kept my eyes on his as I panted and groaned through my pleasure. My walls locked around his fingers and my stomach clenched into knots as I rode out the ultimate euphoria . . . again.

"You feel amazing," Jasper kissed my chin gently as his damp fingers trailed up my stomach and then circled my nipples. "You taste even better."

His hand trailed across my chest leaving a damp line that led to the other nipple.

"Can you feel how wet you are?"

His lips crashed against mine and I moaned, his tongue sweeping against my bottom lip, as his body moved itself between my legs. I widened them accommodating his size as his tongue slid into my mouth.

I wanted nothing more than to have him inside me, deep inside me, but I knew I had to be sensible.

I felt his length brush against my folds and almost lost control.

"Condom?" I breathed around his lips. The sound almost identical to a moan, the electricity between us could have started a fire, and I wanted nothing more than to have him deep inside of me. I'd had enough of the exploration and discovery. I needed him.

Jasper's face nuzzled into my neck, but the slapping and searching of his hands wasn't lost on me, as he reached for something I felt his length add pressure against me. If I just lifted my hips . . . _stop it Alice_ . . .I heard the crinkling of the wrapper and almost moaned in joy.

I was lost in the kiss as he took care of business. My hands were roaming over his shoulders as our tongues fought for dominance. When I felt his body lower again, I tensed with a roll of anticipation.

He was where he had been, between my legs, poised and ready to go, but his hands cupped my cheek gently, his thumbs gently stroking my cheeks. His lips pulled away from mine and I could see the smile in his eyes.

I hooked one of my legs over his hip and pulled him towards me with a small smirk. My heart was pounding in my chest from the excitement; every part of my body was alive, waiting for him.

With one rock of his hips he was in me. The two of us grunted at the pure pleasure that seemed to consume us. Jasper stilled, his teeth digging into my shoulder.

"So fucking good, fuck," he mumbled against my skin.

He was big, just as I had known, but our fit was one of perfection, my back arched as his hips twitched forward hitting something within me no one had ever reached before. He pulled back slowly with a groan, and slid back in. My leg held him tighter to me as I raised my hips to meet his.

My body trembled a little as he picked up the pace, my hips raised to meet his every thrust, both of us moaning and groaning in pure pleasure. Jasper's body was hovering over me, the ends of his hair already dampening with sweat as we rocked into one another.

"Jasper, oh my . . . Jasper,"

His name was like a drug that fueled the intense pleasure that filled me as he thrust his hips joining us together again in the most natural way. My fingers clawed into his back, holding him to me, I wanted more of him; I wanted all of him.

My hands tangled into his hair pulling at the damp strands as I buried my face into his neck. My heated breath rolled over his skin as we continued to move together. My lips worked their way up the heated skin of his neck to his jaw, moving along as I panted and moaned.

My lips found his and my tongue worked its way into his mouth, losing myself in his taste. The lingering of his cologne mixed with his natural musk was making me insane.

I could feel the pressure building within me as his thrusts became long and even, my fingers dug into his damp neck, moving gently to the defined muscles of his shoulders, pressing against the muscle that seemed to push back as his arms and shoulders flexed with the movement.

Pleasure was now running throughout my body, making every inch of me tingle, my fingertips sparked against him, my thighs clenched and released, pressure filled my stomach. I knew what was coming, but I knew the intensity was more acute, more ethereal than I had ever experienced before.

I continued to meet his thrusts, my legs shaking violently as they grasped his hips, pulling him deeper within me. It was a chain reaction. The pulling, created waves of gratification, the gratification created the pressure building within me, the pressure created the need for more of him, in turn causing me to pull him closer.

"Alice, shit . . ."

I could feel my muscles clamping around him as my back arched off of the bed. My legs and arms shook violently as the pressure exploded into tiny fireworks, starting in my stomach and spreading throughout my body. Stars danced behind my eyes. I was in heaven.

Jasper slowed, letting me ride out the euphoria, he kissed my eyes, my nose and my forehead affectionately as his hips rolled gently into me. His lips trembled against me as he tried to keep control of himself.

Fully satisfied but still needing more, I pushed against him gently. Understanding what I wanted Jasper pulled out slowly and rolled from me, landing on his back beside me. I pushed myself forward, straddling him and situating myself above him.

The cold air hit my body making my nipples painfully tight, the anticipation only adding to the unadulterated mixture of pleasure and pain. Jasper's eyes were heavily hooded and he groaned as I let his length slide along my folds. My head felt heavy on my shoulders as the lust ate through me. I was distracted, but I needed him to feed the desire that was already coursing through me. His hands slid up my thighs squeezing my damp skin on his way up, he gripped my hips as a smooth growl fell from his lips.

"Tease,"

The word, spoken as a growl, spilled out as he thrust his hips and pulled my down until he was fully sheathed inside of me. We both exhaled, as the connection that felt so right once again became our focus. I was on a mission now, he'd managed to push me the over the edge twice, and now, I was going to make sure that he had some fun too.

I rose up onto my knees reveling in the feel of his hardness moving inside of me. With one breath, I lowered myself with more force, the breath stuttering from me in small fragmented breaths.

Jaspers fingers tightened on my hips and guided me, setting my rhythm. I rolled my hips, he groaned and moaned, his mouth falling open as I moved above him.

"Baby, fuck,"

I rose and came down with a twist of my hips, groaning and mewing as the pleasure rose within me. I kept the pace for a while; his hips came up to meet mine as our tempo increased. I could feel the small beads of sweat trickle down my spine as I quickened the pace. I had never had this much pleasure fill me so completely.

The love I felt for him flourished within me as another orgasm rocked through me. His hands took mine, our fingers interlacing as I moaned out in complete satisfaction. I placed some of my weight against his hands as my entire body quivered.

I opened my eyes slowly; the sapphire orbs I met were heavily lidded and full of pleasure. We held our gaze a while longer, I concentrated on the blue as the last shudders of my rapture ran through my body.

Jasper's stomach muscles ripples as he pulled himself up into a sitting position. His arms crossed on my back, his long fingers lying over my shoulders as we both caught our breath. His nose nuzzled along my jaw line as we both continued to rock in slow steady movements.

Our slick bodies slid against the other as we panted for air, Jaspers arms ran over the slick line down my spine, making his member twitch inside of me. I felt every move he made, it was driving my insane. His hair stuck to my damp cheek as I slowly rocked against him again. His heady scent was making me dizzy.

I lifted and lunged my hips one last time, I wasn't aware it was going to be the last time.

Jasper moved quickly, his kisses hot and passionate as he lifted me from his lap. Before I knew what was happening, my hands were gripping the headboard of the bed, my legs spread wide as Jasper's fingers trailed up my spine. A shudder ran up my spine as his lips followed the trail, his tongue darting out and tasting me as his hip finally returned to my hips.

He tilted my hips back until he was situated at my entrance; his lips were on my neck nipping and nibbling. One of his arms circled my waist building the electricity between us all over again. I trembled in excitement.

"Jasper,"

Before I could even think about another word, he thrust deep inside of me, with more force than he had any other time. My whole body shifted forward, as I groaned in ecstasy. My hands tightened around the headboard as his pace became hard and fast.

The bed groaned as he thrust with more enthusiasm. His hand holding my hip moved to cup my breast pinching the nipple with each slam of his hips. My head fell back on his shoulder as he continued his ministrations. His lips assaulted my neck; his tongue ran along my jaw and back.

I could hear his grunts and moans of pleasure coming in breaths by my ear. I swear I thought I heard him say yellow jello at one point, but I shook it off. All of his words were mumbles. He teeth grazed my earlobe making my hips rock back into him.

The hand on my stomach slid down to the apex of my thighs, his lithe fingers slid between the folds and circled around the small nub of pleasure. My whole body rocked as I screamed out.

Jasper's lips were by my ear again in a second, his hot breath washing over me as he thrust and I rocked back at him.

"Alice, oh shit, baby, come with me,"

His fingers circled with more intensity as his thrusts drove deeper. My moans were loud, louder than I had ever allowed myself to get, but the pure ecstasy of the moment had taken me so far from caring that I let my screams fill the air around us.

I felt him stiffen around me, just as my body erupted into spasms of pleasure. His fingers gave my clit one last squeeze before gripping tightly to my stomach. He thrust deep inside of me, he was twitching and throbbing inside of my as my walls locked around him and held him in place.

We were both panting heavily when Jasper collapsed against my back with heavy breaths. His head was on my shoulder, while mine leaned against the wall. My body was still trembling and quivering in the pure bliss that I had just experienced. Our bodies were completely damp from the exertion our bodies had just experienced, and I had never felt so satisfied in my entire life.

Jasper's arms tightened around my waist, his lips ghosted across my neck as our bodies began to relax. I loved him. This was the only part I hadn't known about, and this was just as good as the rest of him. I loved him, and I would be his for the rest of eternity. He'd spoiled me for anyone else.

I whimpered when I felt the loss of him, he'd made me feel whole, complete, as though there were a part of me missing that I hadn't even realized before now. I knew he felt the same. He had to.

Jasper's arms circled around my waist and pulled me into his arms as he collapsed on the bed. He pulled the blankets around us. I laughed as I turned in his arms and snuggled into his chest.

"You have no idea how long I have waited to do that."

**

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A/N: I have no words, I used them all up . . . I hope this was worth the wait, I'm still a little dubious of it, but . . . I hope you will let me know if it was good or bad.**

**Couple of announcements to make . . . The voting is up for The Forbidden Love Affair contest . . . we all have stories, so go check it out, the voting is right here on goldentemptress' profile ;)**

**I would like to send love out to the co author of this fic, Momma E :D and also to the other girls who help me and share my obsession about all 100 monkeys including MMM, MJP and the unjackson. **

**So to 3WellieProductions, from the makers of TwiTwinnieProductions who are supported by The Lady Kassmett and Le Big eLLe Foundation for Starving For a Review Foundation The foundation WITHIN a Foundation. I heart you HARD . . .**

**Okay, thanks to the faves and the alerts, you know we love to see that, it makes our hearts swell. To the Reviewers, what can I say that I haven't said before. You guys really are amazing and we love hearing your thoughts . . . YOU ROCK!**

**~Much love and big Hugz – L –**

**Oh, and don't forget to come play with us on the thread, you know you want to……**


	29. Introductions and Stalled Progress

**Disclaimer: Don't own twilight, but I did get to have fun inventing the therapist persona for Kate…..**

**Oh, and since its May 13th. We have to send out a special birthday wish to our beloved Robert Pattinson.....Happy 23rd!  
**

**A/N: I know, I know this chapter is almost a week and a half late. I have no excuses, it was entirely my fault, and I hope that the wait is worth it…..**

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Introductions and Stalled Progress**

**BPOV**

It was official; I would never underestimate what Esme Cullen did with her time ever again. I guess I never realized exactly how difficult it was to plan a society philanthropic event. The gala had taken on a life of its own, but at least I had been able to concentrate enough to get my assignment done. The elite of Seattle's young society would be in attendance in full force this year. Between my networking with the alumni association at UW and Jacob's connections at the Mariners, the under thirty crowd would be at the Halloween Masquerade Ball in numbers. The guest list had topped out at over 300 and we actually had to pull advertising because the venue could not hold anymore than that and still meet fire code.

Today would be the final meeting between the media team and myself and it would be the first time that we were all actually in the same room together. Phone conferences and email exchanges had been the bulk of our communications because of our schedules. I only hoped that I would be able to keep the meeting brief, because today was my couples appointment at Dr. Vines office, and I had to keep up the momentum with writing my column. I had never really like Wednesdays before and these sessions only seemed to cement that fact.

Today would be the first real time that she forced me to confront Edward in a session and I was not looking forward to it. I had no idea how he was going to respond to me, and I didn't want to get into a fight in the middle of the therapy session. He was not going to like what I had to say to him, and I had a feeling that his response was not going to be favorable or paint his behavior in a good light for Kate.

I guess that I was mostly afraid that what I had to say to him would put the progress we had just started to make at a standstill. I still didn't fully trust that he wasn't going to run again, so I guess that this would be his test.

My phone beep from my briefcase pocket, and I quickly reached down to pull it out.

_Hey B~ Running a little late this am, start without me. I'll be there asap ~ J.B._

Well, at least he was coming this time. The last time that we had attempted to organize a meeting, neither Jacob or Alice showed up, and Rosalie left early because Em called saying that Evan wouldn't stop crying. Evan had been colicky since they brought him home from the hospital, and Rose seemed to be the only one who could adequately calm him down when he was overtired.

I was looking forward to our meeting. I hadn't had the opportunity to meet Edward's cousin Vanessa yet, even though we had been together for almost six years. She grew up somewhere in the Midwest, and it seemed that every time she came to visit Esme, we were busy. She was twenty-two, and when we had gotten married, she had already left for a summer abroad program to study art history across Western Europe.

Apparently, she was Esme's favorite niece, and she loved to follow Edward around when they were little. She was the only daughter of Esme's sister Elizabeth, and she had always been like her daughter. Edward loved his cousin, but from how he talked about her, I think that he always thought that she was a little too free spirited and artsy, which is why I am sure that she got along with Esme so well.

During the whole weekend, Edward was acting bizarrely, it was like he was on his best behavior, and he even volunteered to help me clean the house on Sunday and do laundry. At first, I thought that he was just trying to butter me up for something, or he was going to announce something horrible to me, but he actually listened intently when I explained to him the importance of separating your clothing properly as well as the correct temperatures to wash certain types of clothing in. I kind of wondered whether he was really my husband, or a doppelganger sent to collect information on dysfunctional human couples.

Then when I accidentally dragged my cast through the stream of warm water in the utility sink when I was pre-treating a stain on one of his dress shirts the husband I know and love made an appearance. I got a lecture about how I had already had one cast replaced because of negligence involving water exposure, and how it was negatively going to affect the healing process.

Overall, we seemed to be getting along much better, and I felt like the resentment that I had been bottling up and letting fester for months was dissipating. I didn't have the urge to make cutting remarks or yell at him, or throw things, if anything, his behavior was making it hard to stay true to our self imposed sex embargo. Edward and I had both decided that even though I was cleared for 'strenuous activities' that it would probably not be a good idea to indulge until we felt that some of our issues had been resolved in therapy. A few months ago, I was complaining that he never wanted to have sex, now we were actively avoiding it for the sake of our marriage, talk about irony.

For right now, at least, it looked as if my marriage was on the mend, and I felt better about myself as well. The past month had been challenging, and I had come out the other end without any major breakdowns. The pain was still there, just underneath the surface, but with each day that passed, I felt myself coming to terms with my child's death. It was strange to think about, especially since it had happened so early on in the pregnancy, but it was what it was, I had still lost something important.

I was still unsure of whether or not I wanted to try again, I didn't want to live in fear that I could lose another child, but I did want to be a mother, so I was going to have to face it sometime in the future. Edward had been talking about our future more since we had started going to therapy, and a majority of the time he brought up the discussion, he talked about starting a family. He had gotten quite attached to Evan since Em and Rose had decided to forgive his behavior after the miscarriage, and I could see the excitement in his eyes when he held the little boy in his arms. I tried not to think about it too much, because I didn't want to focus on the fact that I was still wary of having children with him. I was trying to trust him and listen to his thoughts, but there was a part of me that was hell bent on self-preservation. I couldn't let myself get attached to the idea that everything was going to be alright, I think I was still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"You ready Bells?"

I jerked my head up from my desk as Rosalie's voice startled me. I hadn't realized that it was time for the meeting already. I had been so worried about my therapy session this afternoon that I had completely spaced out the last twenty minutes.

"Um, yeah Rose, I um…..have you seen anyone else yet?"

She laughed quietly at my incoherent statement and told me that she saw Esme waiting in the conference room with a young woman who could have been my twin, but with better hair.

"Thanks Rose, nice to know that you feel so strongly about my horrible hair."

"It's not horrible Bells, the color is nice, its just the fact that you don't have any idea what to do with it that makes it so well, um, boring. You really could give middle aged soccer moms a run for their money."

"Oh, so you mean you in five years," I deadpanned as Rose tried to shoot me a dirty look, but the slight shake of her shoulders gave her away.

"Nice Bella, real nice, and we both know for a fact that I will definitely be on the MILF list when Evan is older."

I shook my head at her as I undocked my laptop and pulled it and my folder for the meeting up into my arms. "Only you would be proud of that fact Rose, most moms would be appalled."

"I personally think it would be flattering, in a Mrs. Robinson kind of way."

"Ok, enough talk about you having teenage boys lusting after you, we actually have to get some work done today."

Rose followed me down the hallway to the conference room that our meeting was being held in. Luckily, Suzanna had convinced _Couture_, that having a few of their employees affiliated with a major charity fundraiser would be good for business, and it also didn't hurt that the magazine was listed as the main sponsor for the event, so Alice and I were cleared to work on the Masquerade Ball in house, on the clock.

I could see Esme smile brightly as I pulled open the door and gestured for Rose to step in before I followed her. She was talking to a young woman with long bronze colored hair, almost the exact same shade as Edward's, who looked to be a little bit taller than I was.

When she turned around, I gasped, because Rose was right, she did kind of look like me, besides the hair.

"Bella, this," Esme said as she gestured to the woman beside her, "is the infamous Vanessa Masen, my favorite niece."

Vanessa blushed and mumbled something under her breath to Esme, I could only make out "only niece," and almost laughed when I realized that she hated Esme drawing attention to her as much as I do.

"It's a pleasure Vanessa, Edward has told me a lot about you," I said extending my hand.

She looked up and smiled brightly at me before she tentatively shook my hand.

"Nessie, please, and I hope that my cousin hasn't told you too many embarrassing things about me, I was quite the 'hyperactive' child."

"Don't worry, he thinks the world of you," I replied as I motioned for everyone to take their seats.

Alice ran in the door after the three of us were seated, looking flushed. I only needed one guess as to who put her in that condition. Ever since their date over the weekend, Jasper and Alice had been inseparable, she had even managed to convince him to come to the masquerade ball.

"Sorry I'm late. I just got off the phone with the banquet manager at the Fairmont. She assured me that their wait staff will be ready for Saturday."

The masquerade ball was being held at one of the largest hotels in the Seattle metro area, the Fairmont Olympic Hotel. Their banquet facilities could hold up to 330 people, so they were the natural choice for the event. They had generously offered to supply their wait staff free of charge, but the fees for the ballrooms had still eaten up a majority of the budget regardless.

"Alright, so let's get started," I said as Alice settled in. "We have 298 people down with reservations for tickets, and there are still a small amount of tickets being reserved for hospital staff. Between the foundation's budget and the donated services for the dinner and dancing, we figure that we will net approximately thirty thousand dollars. That money will go directly into the fund for the cardiac wing improvements at the hospital.

As of right now, we have a staff of thirty volunteers from the hospital and fundraising foundation that will be helping during set up on Saturday. I will need each of you to be there about a half an hour early on Saturday to make sure that everything is running smoothly.

Rosalie, thank you for donating your services. From what we can tell, the ads that you sent out netted the most ticket sales.

Alice, you or Jacob will need to work with Nessie and the printers to make sure that the programs get printed up and are at the venue for distribution, along with the place cards.

"Where is Jake?"

"He's running late. He texted me earlier, he should be here soon."

"Well it is Jake," Alice giggled. "You know how he feels about being on time."

Just as she said that, Jake's head popped in the door to the conference room and he winked at me.

"You've never complained about my timing before Brandon," he said as he walked over and sat down in the empty seat between Nessie and me.

"Nessie, this is Jacob Black. He works for Status Magazine. He is an old friend of ours from college," I said motioning from Nessie to Jacob. "Jake, this is Vanessa Masen, she is the graphic designer we have been using and she is Edward's cousin."

She smiled shyly at him and he grinned widely as he turned towards her.

"It's nice to meet you Jacob," she said as she held her hand out towards him.

"Oh the pleasure is all mine," he replied as he picked up her hand and kissed the backside of it.

I raised my eyebrows across the table at Alice and she smiled widely at their exchange. I think we had the perfect person to keep Jacob distracted with during the ball. She was quite a bit younger than us; but from his reaction to her, I think that her age was the last thing on his mind.

"What did I miss?" he said as sat back in his chair and balanced his arm on the back of Nessie's.

"I was just saying that you needed to get together with Nessie and make sure that the print for the programs, menu cards, and place cards are all set and off to the printers. Do you think you can handle that?"

Jake raised an eyebrow at me and nodded, and then turned towards Nessie.

"It looks like we will be working together this week. Want to get started over lunch?"

Rose snickered at Jacob's forwardness as Esme smiled at me. She had always enjoyed Jacob's company. He was a fun guy to be around. It also looked like he was done pining over Alice. This was definitely an interesting turn of events.

"Ok, let me go through the rest of your responsibilities and then we can all get out of here."

I spent the next ten minutes going over the rest of the details needed to get us through the weekend, and by the time we left, Jacob seemed to be quite taken with Edward's young cousin.

Alice and Rose followed me back to my cubicle after we said our goodbyes to Esme, Nessie and Jake.

"So…." Alice started as I set my laptop back into its docking station.

"Yeah, so I think Jake seemed to be getting quite cozy with Edward's baby cousin," Rosalie mused with an amused smirk on her face.

"I know," Alice said excitedly. She seemed to be genuinely happy that he was showing an interest in someone. "I've never seen him flirt that openly before."

"Well, you mean with the exception of Bella," Rose laughed as Alice shot me a worried look.

"I think it's great. Jake needs a girlfriend."

"Yeah Bells, I think that the last person he dated was in college. It's probably been too long since he got laid."

"God Rose, is that all that's on you mind lately?"

"Hey, I still have three more weeks until I am cleared for landing," she said with a wink.

"Gross," Ali and I both giggled as Rosalie scowled in our direction.

"Well, at least one of us is getting some now. You should have seen the look on my brother's face when he came over the other day," Rose laughed as Alice blushed bright red.

"Um," Alice said as she began to fidget with her hands. "I need to get going, I have lunch plans."

Rose continued to laugh and patted Alice on the shoulder. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

Alice quickly turned around and bolted down the hallway, leaving Rose and I standing there alone. Most of the rest of the floor had already left for lunch.

"So how are things with Edward?" she asked as she pulled up a stray chair from the cubicle next door. She knew that we were still seeing the therapist, and that things were tense.

"They're better," I said quietly as I sat down.

"Is he being an ass again? Because I can sent Em over to straighten him out if you need me to."

"No, he's actually been really sweet lately, but I think to a certain extent I am still waiting for the other shoe to drop."

"Are you still seeing that doctor?"

"Yeah, Dr. Vines is great. She is making me realize that maybe this rift was inevitable. Things have been strained for a while."

"Well, just keep going. I'm sure that you two can work out your differences. I know that I want to strangle Em sometimes, but I know that I wouldn't want to be with anyone but him. Arguments are a given in any marriage, I know that we have had some heated ones. At least there is makeup sex to look forward to afterwards," she laughed as she pulled her cell phone out of the front pocket of her purse.

"Please don't tell me details. I don't need to know that about my brother."

"I'm just saying," she smirked. "Well, I need to stop by the office before I head home to relieve the nanny."

"Tell Em I said hello, and kiss my nephew for me."

"Will do, and hopefully I won't cry when I have to leave him with Claudia and my dad for the whole weekend."

"Thank you again for agreeing to come to the ball. I didn't want to have to be stuck there with the love birds alone."

"Yeah, it should be interesting to see them together. Hopefully my brother won't embarrass me."

"If anyone's brother will be embarrassing, I can pretty much guarantee that it will be mine," I laughed as I hugged her goodbye and settled back into my cubicle.

I busied myself with checking my email and trying to get a little bit of typing done before I needed to leave to go to our therapy appointment.

I had managed to learn to type with my limited mobility, although the backspace and delete keys had been getting a lot of use. I couldn't wait the four more weeks to get the damn cast off. It was getting really annoying. Having to shower one handed was not something I wanted to keep doing for long.

***

Exposure to concepts such as love and marriage begin fairly early on when you are a little girl. It all starts off innocently with Disney movies and fairytales, and by the time you are six, you are hooked. The concept of love and happily ever after is ingrained into you until it becomes a part of who you are and your future goals in life.

Then once you go off to school, the realities of life begin to creep in and the focus of your life becomes being a good student, until puberty.

Once you are old enough to form crushes and have fake little middle school boyfriends, things change. Love becomes something attainable and you begin the quest to find 'the one'.

Things carry on into adulthood, but ingrained right along with the concepts of love and a happily ever after are the concepts of being independent, successful, driven, and the list goes on and on.

When you have to worry about balancing out all these concepts, it becomes even harder.

Once you find 'the one', it becomes two, it becomes an 'us' in the equation of love.

The only problem with the concept of an 'us' is that in order to achieve it, there has to be a balance of giving and taking. Some things have to be given up in order to preserve the 'us', whether it be a career, or time with your family, something always has to be pushed to the side.

When two people commit to each other in marriage, they have to learn the art of the compromise. Marriage is not all sunshine and rainbows, its hard work, and those fairytales and Disney movies you watched at the tender age of four don't tell you this. They don't tell you that you will fight over bills and laundry and other such things that the real world entails.

I never imagined that keeping a marriage on track could be so hard. When I was a little kid, I was pretty much spoon-fed information that marriage was wonderful and easy. Even coming from a broken home, I was constantly being told from outside sources that love was the answer. Love was something you gave freely and it alone was enough to withstand any trial.

If only the realities of marriage were that easy. If it was only that easy to just push everything aside and say, 'I love you' and that would fix anything.

Somewhere along the way, in my marriage, in becoming the 'us', I lost myself. I gave and he took, and I never though to ask for anything back.

Don't get me wrong, Edward gives back in the ways that he knows how, but I gave away myself somewhere in the process of creating our marriage, and I wasn't exactly sure how to get it back.

I had a new career, amazing friends, a wonderful family, and yet somehow, I forgot to be the Bella in Edward and Bella. I just became Edward's Bella. She is someone who sat at home for almost a year miserable and didn't say a word until she couldn't hold in her resentment anymore. She is someone who was afraid to tell her husband she was pregnant for fear of disappointing him. She is someone who has bent over backwards to accommodate his wishes and his wants without even considering her own most of the time. But most of all, she isn't Bella, she is only the shell of who Bella use to be.

All of those thoughts had been pushed to the back annals of my mind festering until the miscarriage. All the resentment, the sadness, the bitter angst of the situation, it had all been tightly locked away until I lost my child. And when I lost my child, I thought I had lost my husband as well. Little did I know that we had been growing apart for some time now, bit by bit, as Bella disappeared, so did the strength of our marriage.

Marriage is a partnership, and when one of the partners vanishes, it doesn't work anymore.

At twenty-five, facing down a flailing, almost stagnant marriage was a daunting prospect. It was especially bleak when you were still in love with your husband. The only problem was, loving your husband and trusting your husband weren't mutually exclusive or codependent.

When you get to this kind of crossroads in your marriage, you have to ask yourself if the fight is worth it. On some levels, if there is love, that is an easy question to answer, you fight for the love and you will make it through. On other levels, you have to ask yourself if the fight is going to fix whatever the problem is or only enable it further.

The other factor to think about is whether or not the other person in the relationship is willing to fight just as hard as you will. If the partnership cannot be repaired, and neither of you wants to put in the effort, it will never be fixed.

These are all the things that I have had to think about since Edward walked out of that hospital room.

Were we strong enough to fight for each other? Were we both going to work towards something better together, as equals?

If either of those answers were no, then the reality of the situation would be crushing. I would have spent six years of my life with someone who wasn't willing to put in the effort to save our marriage properly. Saying you will be there and that you are willing to do anything to fix it was one thing, but actually following through was another.

Therapy had been hard. Therapy had opened my eyes to the point in which I could see how much we had pushed and taken each other for granted. Edward was not the bad guy in this situation. I was just as much to blame, if not more. I knew that I was giving myself away slowly but surely and I let it happen. I let myself become someone I kind of hated in order to make him happy, and I never said one word about how it was affecting me.

To be completely honest, the thought of confronting Edward in our session today was terrifying. I had never actually told him directly, in a rational manner how his behavior had really affected me. I had yelled and cried, and joked my way out of situations like that over the past year, and Edward and I had never actually had a serious conversation about how his actions and words affected me.

Today Kate was going to make me say things to him that I was certain he was not going to like. If she were not in the room with me, I know that I would never say them, but I know that in order to keep our marriage alive I need to. Being quiet and submissive got us to this point, and they are certainly not going to get us out of this situation.

As the elevator doors slid open, I steeled myself to the inevitable confrontation I was walking towards. I couldn't hide behind sarcasm or angry remarks today, I needed to be honest with myself about how I truly felt, and once I could come to terms with that, Edward needed to as well.

Edward was waiting for me in the small waiting room of Dr. Vines office, perched in one of the blue upholstered chairs, with a magazine propped up on his knee. He looked nervous and considering the fact that during the time it took me to cross the room I never say him turn a page, I knew that today would be hard for him too.

My palms began to sweat as I took a seat beside him, and I ached to touch him. Things had been strained in our physical intimacy outside of the bedroom as well. I overanalyzed things so much that I was afraid to hold his hand anymore. I hated feeling like that, but it was inevitable because of my current trust issues.

"How was your day, Love?" Edward asked as he dropped a hand to my knee and squeezed.

"It was good. I think we are finally ready for Saturday. I met your cousin today, she seems really fun. Jacob seemed to take an interest in her as well."

"She is fun, but sometimes she can be a little much. If Jacob wants to take her on, he can be my guest, she will keep his hands full for sure."

"You don't mind that one of your friends may have the hots for your baby cousin?"

Edward laughed and leaned over to kiss me on the temple, stroking the tips of his fingers along my knee cap.

"Jacob is a nice guy, I trust him with her, but I will hurt him if he screws things up with her."

"Oh, because you are so intimidating," I joked as he scoffed at my sarcastic comment.

It was nice to be able to get back to teasing each other like we use to, but things were still not completely back to normal.

"Mr. and Mrs. Cullen," Dr. Vines chimed from the open door that led to the hallway that contained her office.

Edward stood up and straightened out the blue scrubs he was wearing before he turned around and offered me his hand. Once he had pulled me up, he twined our fingers together and we silently followed her down the hallway.

She gestured for us to sit down on the stiff leather couch in the middle of her office as she grabbed a few folders off of her desk and settled into the chair in front of us.

"Well, in the month that you two have been seeing me, I have noticed some drastic changes in the both of you. I think that since you have been making such great progress in your solo session that we are ready to get into some of the more pressing issues that you two face as a couple. I believe that I instructed you both to come up with one thing to tell the other that you would not have said to one another before this situation occurred. Why don't we start with you Edward," Dr. Vines said as she leaned back into her chair and pulled the cap off her pen.

"Bella, I really am not sure of how to say this to you, I promise, it's nothing bad, but you know how hard it is for me to communicate my feelings sometimes. I feel as if sometimes you tend to place me on a pedestal and treat me as if I am infallible. Then when I do something to prove that this is not the case, you immediately lash out at me. I know that I was not always the most attentive husband, but I assure you that I was trying. I am trying to become a better person for you Bella, and I guess I just want you to acknowledge that I make mistakes like normal people do."

_Wow. He really felt that I didn't accept his mistakes?_

"Ok Bella, how did Edward saying that to you make you feel? Do you think that his confession is accurate?"

I nervously twisted my hands in my lap as I contemplated what to say to Edward in response to that.

"Ok," I said exhaling loudly. "I guess I never realized that I set such impossible standards for you. You always seem so put together that I guess it just surprises me when you do things that seem callous or uncaring. I know that you are not perfect, and I am sorry if I made you feel alienated by blowing up at you when you make mistakes.

Normally I try to think of your mistakes as being typical, but sometimes, like when you left after the miscarriage, I wonder if you realize how much your actions affect me. I know that you have apologized, and that you feel guilty for things ending up like they did, but you never once stopped to talk to me. You just left and made the decision to distance yourself from me all on your own. I felt like you had abandoned me."

"Very good Bella. Now Edward, I know that we have been working on you letting Bella in more. Would you like to tell her why you shut her out sometimes?"

Edward ran his hand through his hair as he took a huge breath and I turned slightly to face him.

"Bella, I know that I shut you out, and I want you to know that I thought I was doing it to protect you. I don't feel good enough for you sometimes, and I felt that by pushing you out that I was protecting you from me. I now realize that I was shutting you out to protect myself more than anything. I don't want you to think of me as being weak, and I never wanted you to see me as a failure.

When you, I mean when _we_ lost the baby, I felt as if I should have known what was going on so I could have been more proactive. I wasn't paying enough attention to you, I was constantly getting caught up in my work and I felt horrible for not knowing.

I also felt that you were keeping the fact that you were pregnant from me. I know that you had only just found out, and that you did try to tell me. Even so, some irrational part of my brain was telling me that you didn't want to have a family with me. It didn't fit in with what our plans were, and I was certain that you didn't tell me because of that.

The thing is, I never really knew that I wanted a child so soon until it was already not a possibility anymore. It hurt to know that I never even got a chance to know about my child, it felt as if you took something away from me by not telling me."

After he finished talking, his free hand was dug into the thin material of his scrubs at his knee and he was looking off to the side, avoiding eye contact. Edward had never been so honest about his feelings before, and I knew that everything that he was saying was true. I could see now that his behavior stemmed from his insecurities and that he didn't realize how much his actions affected me until the harm was already done.

"Ok Bella, now that Edward has shared with you, how about you tell him what you came here today to say to him," she said as she turned her focus to the folder in her lap and jotted down a few notes.

"Edward, I have felt since we got married that you don't take my opinion into serious account when we have to make decisions that affect the both of us. You never gave me a choice in anything concerning where we would live, and I also felt that you made the decision for me to stay at home without even considering my take on the matter.

I was miserable after a few months of being at home by myself, and I felt as if you were isolating me on purpose. You spent so much time at the hospital and studying that you didn't even acknowledge me half the time when you came home.

You made me feel like a glorified maid and it was killing me. You couldn't even pick up after yourself to help me out. Then whenever I said anything to you about how unhappy I was, you immediately turned it around as if I had made those decisions.

I was afraid to tell you about my job because I knew that it would upset you. You were adamant about me staying at home and I felt as if I was betraying you by trying to find something to make me happy.

I guess that is why I wasn't so vigilant about telling you about the baby because I felt like I was disappointing you. I thought that you would be angry with me for letting it happen. I actually felt guilty for wanting our child. I hated feeling like that, and then when it was gone, you left too, without even asking me. I felt like you are always making these big decisions for us without me.

The past few months I have finally felt like I had a purpose, I was happy and I was finding myself again. Then when you left like that, it tore me to shreds. I want to us to make decisions together like we use to. I feel like I have given you so much over the years and you just keep taking."

Once I was finished, there was a deafening silence in the room. Edward's harsh breathing and the soft scribbling of Dr. Vines' pen were the only noises audible above the rapid beating of my heart.

After what felt like forever, Edward's soft voice responded to me.

"I'm so sorry Bella. I guess I never realized that you felt that way. I should have known you were so unhappy. I was only doing what I thought was best for us. I never meant to keep you out like that. I know that you have given up so much for me, and I never realized that I wasn't returning it. I thought that by making all of the decisions that I was doing my part in our relationship.

I realize now that it was wrong of me to discredit your opinion, and I am truly sorry for that."

_Well, that was much calmer of a reaction then I expected…._

I don't know why I expected him to get mad and yell at me, I guess that therapy really had changed him. He doesn't seem so indifferent and cocky around me all the time.

Things had been so confusing during the last month, and I guess that Edward was trying just as hard as I was to get through this. I don't know why I doubted him, but I was happy to be proved wrong. I had just assumed that he was only going through the motions with this therapy thing because I threatened to leave him if he didn't.

"Ok, very good; both of you. That was a very mature exchange of feelings and thoughts. I think that the both of you have been able to get a better understanding of your partner in these sessions. I think that from now on, I will only need to meet with you individually on an as needed basis.

You are both beginning to open up honest lines of communication with each other, and by expressing your feelings today in a neutral environment. I feel that we have begun to make some real progress. I am not saying that you are not still in for a long road ahead of you, but I think that you will be able to work through this rough spot in your marriage.

It is evident that both of you are putting in a real effort to make this work, and I am please with the results. You both should be too."

She continued to jot down notes as I nervously wiped the palm of my good hand on the cool leather couch in between Edward and me. The nervous anticipation of my confrontation with Edward had made me all clammy, and I was happy that our session seemed to be more than half way over.

When I made the motion to pull my hand back into my lap, Edward reached over and grabbed my hand, intertwining our fingers before resting them on his knee. I chanced a look over at him and he was gazing at me with a very serious look on his face. He didn't appear to be mad, and that fact alone gave me hope.

"I have a few questions that I want to ask you and then we can begin to wrap this session up," Dr. Vines said as she closed the folder and tucked it into the chair beside her.

We both nodded and then she continued.

"After spending the past several weeks sorting through the events of the past few weeks and even months, do you feel that you are ready to consider seriously trying to have children?"

This was the question that I had been dreading. Even with all of the progress, I was unsure if I was ready to take that step with him. My trust in him had been seriously shaken and as much as it pained me to admit it, I wasn't ready consider that option again. I wouldn't be able to deal with it if he left me again, and I wasn't going to put a child in that situation. I wanted to be able to trust him, but I was going to take some time, and he needed to prove some things to me before I was willing to consider it.

I took a deep breath as Edward squeezed my hand. Then we both seemed to blurt out our answers at the same time.

"No," I murmured quietly as he said, "I think that we might be ready now."

We both simultaneously turned towards one another and Edward's face had a pained expression on it that hurt to see. His eyes flickered between mine, searching for clarification and I averted my gaze to my lap.

"Bella," he said as he leaned down to look in my eyes. "Do you really not want children with me?"

I shook my head and my voice cracked as I tried to speak. "I'm sorry, I just don't know if I can trust you not to leave again. I can't bring a child into our relationship if I can't trust you. I'm so sorry Edward."

I pulled my hand away from his and cradled it in my lap as I aimlessly scratched the tender skin under the edge of my cast.

He leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees. His head fell into his hands and he huffed angrily into his palms before he tugged on his hair. I knew that my distance was frustrating him and I felt like my answer negated the progress that we had just made.

"How long am I going to have to keep paying for this?" he spat angrily as he shook his head.

"Edward, I don't think that Bella is trying to punish you," Dr. Vines admonished. "She is merely expressing her opinion in the matter at this point in time. If she is not ready, then you need to give her time. I know that you are frustrated that this is not coming as easily as you would like, but she is being honest with you. Six weeks ago, that would not have been the case.

Bella would have made the decision based on yours. She is trying to be true to herself, and if she is not ready yet, then she is not ready. That doesn't mean that she won't ever be, just not right now."

Edward growled as he sat back against the couch, leaning away from me. I hated this. It felt like we would take two steps forward and then back five. We were so wary of each other lately that it seemed as if our marriage was still crumbling.

"I know. I just feel like I can't do anything right. I am trying here, I am really _fucking_ trying and I feel like I am not getting anywhere. She can't even trust me enough to consider it, she just said 'No', not maybe, not I'll think about it, just no. How is that supposed to make me feel? I feel like I just got slapped. She is constantly thinking I am gonna leave her. I am afraid to leave for work lately because I don't know if she will be there when I come back. God I am such an idiot," he snapped as he punched the leather arm beside him.

"Alright, since this question has left you two some things to consider. I feel that we are at a good stopping point for today. I want you two to discuss what you talked about today with each other once you get home. I don't want you to take what you have learned and use it against each other. You are really starting to the lines of communication open and I want you to work on that some more.

Your assignment before I see you next week is to go out on a date night. I want both of you to speak openly about your time in my office and really get to know each other again. You need to keep building upon your progress, and I feel that talking about the subject of having children will be a good thing to discuss more in private.

I also want the both of you to remember to respect your partners feelings and wishes. Honesty is not something that should be punished, and I don't want you taking out your frustrations on your partner.

Ok, now the both of you go home and cook a meal together. Even though you are both feeling stressed you need to learn to work together again.

I will see you next Wednesday, and feel free to call in and schedule any one on one appointments if you feel that one is necessary."

Dr. Vines walked us towards the reception area where we took care of the necessary paperwork and our co-pays.

Edward didn't talk to me the entire ride in the elevator down to the parking garage entrance. He stood rigid at my side, occasionally expelling a loud breath and tugging at his unruly hair.

I wanted to talk to him, but I honestly didn't know where to start. I felt like being honest with him today was a double-edged sword. On the one side, it was freeing and it felt liberating to be honest with him. On the other hand; it just seemed to make him angry and withdrawn when I said something he was obviously not ready to hear.

When we got to our cars, he quietly held the door open for me while I slipped into the driver's seat. He murmured something about stopping at the store on the way home before he shut my door and briskly walked over to his car.

I followed him out of the city towards the grocery store by our home where we had a stilted conversation about what we were making for dinner. I hated that he was seeming to push me out again, but I didn't want to aggravate him by trying to talk about it in the grocery store.

Once we had gotten all the needed ingredients for our meal, he sent me off to pay and he headed home to shower. I knew that he needed time to think about what I had said by himself and I hoped that by the time I got home that he would have cooled down a bit.

I hated the feeling of walking on eggshells around him, but I was done being submissive when it came to expressing my feelings around him. My insecurities may still have been an issue in our marriage, but at least I was being honest about them.

When I pulled into the garage and closed the door behind me, I took several deep breaths and grabbed the groceries before I made my short trip into the house.

I could feel that things were changing in our relationship, and I could only hope that they were for the better. Only time would tell, but I know that I wasn't ready to give up the fight.

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A/N: Here is my official response to some negative reviews that we have been getting about making Edward's behavior in the last few chapters 'the typical asshole Edward' cliché storyline. I can assure you, that is not the case, the way that he is presented in this story is solely through Bella's perspective other than the extra chapter that was written by our guest writer. Edward, while acting irresponsible and selfish during the last story arc, is not a bad person. As Bella is coming to find out through her therapy sessions, there has been a breakdown in the communication in their marriage. They both hold views of the other that have been skewed by their insecurities and they are learning to see each other more clearly, as well as learning how to build back up honest communication. I am sorry if some of you have not picked up on that, but that is what was intended when the last story arc was written.**

**The breakdown of their relationship was kind of inevitable from the beginning of the story, there were several signs right off the bat that there were some serious flaws built into the foundation of their relationship on both of their parts. And they are both at the point where they are fighting to keep what they have because they do love each other and they do want their marriage to work.**

**I also want to respond to the comments we have been getting about Bella being 'perfect', if you paid attention to her inner monologue, you can see that Bella is afraid to talk to Edward about her concerns, not because he won't let her, but because she does not feel that her opinion should have to be voiced. Men are not masters of reading subtle communication, you need to come out and tell them when they are doing something that annoys you, and Bella doesn't do this until it gets to a boiling point. She also doesn't seek out support from him, and this leads to an uneven balance in their relationship. Bella is not perfect, neither is Edward, therefore, they needed help to make their relationship work; which is where their therapy sessions come into play.**

**For those of you who have never been married or in a serious relationship where you have at least lived with someone, this may not be evident to you, but being married myself, it is very easy to fall into these habits of miscommunication. A marriage is a partnership that should be based on even communication, and that is what they are both learning. Ok, now that I have come up with a 400 word rant on the intentions of the last story arc, I will leave you with this basic summary:**

**Bella and Edward are both flawed characters who needed help with their relationship. A tragedy in their lives brought this to their attention, and they are lucky that they are learning how to communicate at just over a year into their relationship, instead of years down the road. Neither character is innocent in this and they both have a lot to learn. If you didn't like the story arc, then I accept your criticisms, but I do not feel that this was either unbelievable or cliché. **

**Ok, rant over now…….**

**As always, feel free to send us any questions and concerns, and come play with us on the thread, we post fun teasers, and miztrezboo likes to post fun gifs and pictures for you guys.**

**Thank you as always to our wonderful readers, we are now over 650 reviews, with almost 400 people on alert, which is phenomenal, so thank you all for your support!**

**Leave us some love, and the next few chapters have some exciting developments in our character's lives……**

**RL kind of kicked us both in the ass this past week, so we are delaying the posting of chapters 30 and 31 until next Monday and Tuesday. They are both centered around the Masquerade Ball, and we get to see our favorite characters all dressed to the nines…..I wonder what a night at the Fairmont Olympic Hotel will bring…especially when multiple couples have reservations to spend the night at the hotel……;)**


	30. A Ball and a Declaration

_**Disclaimer: Twilight and it's characters belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer. The Songs and hotels belong to the respective owners and the dresses and masks . . . so romantic . . . I am still owned by MJP!**_

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A Ball and a Declaration**

**APOV**

Jasper had given me the best sex of my life. I had never felt anything like it before. When all was said and done and our bodies curled around one another, I was ready to cry. Ground moving wasn't even a consideration anymore, this was earth shattering, this was love. Yet I still didn't have the guts to tell him. I was still so afraid of rejection.

Since that night, Jasper had practically been living with me, and I wasn't going to complain. I liked having him here. I liked the amazing lovemaking; I liked kissing him goodnight. I loved snuggling and falling asleep in his arms; I liked the wake up calls and the kisses goodbye. I loved him, and every part of him being here with me.

I didn't want it to end. It was one of those things we never talked about; his job. Where it would lead him to next; when it would take him away from me. A full week and I was feeling more and more blessed with each passing day.

Today was Saturday, the day of the masquerade ball I should have had more of a hand in, but I was so wrapped up in Jasper I had been neglecting my duties. Thankfully, most of my contacts had come through and were either donating large sums of money or time and resources to pull the whole thing off.

I had gotten my dress as soon as I had found out about the ball; ordering his and her masks the same color as the dress, just in case. We'd ordered Jasper's tux this week. To say he looked amazing was an understatement of the century. His very ordinary tux fit him perfectly, the black, accentuated with a cumber-bund, the same color as my dress; a deeper blue than his eyes, seemed to draw out the endless pools of sapphire, complimenting his pale skin.

With nothing left to do, we stayed in bed. Both of us snuggled together as we watched TV. It was perfect. It was the new us. Once again, the living room had become abandoned and the only room used was the bedroom.

"Ali," Jasper's voice pulled me from the musing going on in my mind.

"Mmm?"

"What are we watching?"

"I dunno, you put it on."

I snuggled deeper into his chest, inhaling his scent. That's when I heard the moans and groans.

"You have the playboy channel?"

"It came with the package," I squeezed my eyes shut and buried my head further into his chest.

"One of us must have hit the remote," Jasper chuckled.

I rolled away from him and picked up the remote hitting any channel button I could find. Jasper's arms snaked around my waist and he pulled me back into his check. My bare back flush against his chiseled chest and abs.

"What are you doing Al?"

"Changing the channel," I giggled, remote in hand.

"I was watching that," his voice had deepened, the husky tones making it very obvious how horny he was. He reached for the remote, but I moved it as far from his reach as I could locked in his arms.

He pulled me closer, his lips ghosting along my collar as he tried to gain the upper hand. He was cheating. Well, two could play at that game. I let my hand brush across him and wasn't really surprised to find him already hard.

"Somebody wants to come out and play."

Jasper groaned, rolling us over so he was hovering over me. We'd only just finished making love an hour ago, but together the two of us were insatiable. I moaned lightly as his lips met mine. His lips sucked my bottom lip into his mouth as his hands fought the blankets to get to my already naked body.

"Jazz," I whimpered as his lips made their way over the skin

"I know," he growled. "We'll be quick. I just can't get enough of you."

I giggled; it had been like this since that first mind-blowing experience. We would meet for lunch; end up in my office with the door locked. We were always touching, always wanting more. Anywhere and everywhere; the kitchen, the shower, the couch, very almost the elevator of my condo.

"Oh Shit."

Jasper's fingers ghosted across my clit making my back arch as he grinned at his success. There was no way I could ever say no to him, I didn't want too. I just hadn't gotten much done with him around lately. Everything seemed to take a back burner to him. I wasn't complaining; I loved every moment of it.

Jasper's strong arm stretched to the nightstand as his lips worked their way from my neck to my chest. His teeth grazed my nipple and I gasped for air. Every part of me was sensitive to him. He made my blood ignite and course through my body straight to my heart.

I ached for him; I loved him; so much it hurt.

Both of his hands disappeared between us as he knelt between my legs. His hot mouth still had my nipple encased between his satin lips. My fingers tangled into his hair as my back arched in pleasure.

His hands ran along my thighs and up over to my hips. My body ached with anticipating, my body fluttering as I waited for him to situate himself. There was nothing normal about the two of us together. We always tried something new; we always strived to get one another off quicker.

I pushed him off me gently, smiling as the confusion flitted across his features. He rolled from my body and propped himself up against the headboard, but before he could say a word, I straddled him.

Lust flamed in the pools of sapphire as the heat between us grew. I moved over him slowly, my lips meeting his as his sinewy arms crossed around my back, pulling me to him.

Taking his bottom lip between mine, I lowered myself onto him. Both of us gasped as the pure pleasure filled us completely. A shiver ran down my spine mingling with the heat of his arms, our kiss deepened as I lifted myself onto my knees before lowering myself again with a groan.

"Alice," Jasper's moan fueled my need for him. My name on his lips made it sound divine.

I picked up my pace, trembling as I sunk down onto him, sighing as I rose losing the deep connection we had. Jasper's hands gripped my hips guiding me as my fingers dug into the flesh and muscle of his shoulders.

We moved together perfectly, rising and falling with one another. The feeling of him inside of me made my body quiver with excitement. His fingers tensed and released on my hips as he brought his knees up, giving me deeper penetration.

I groaned as my back rested lightly against his legs. The new position pushed him deeper inside of me hitting all the right places as we moved together. I lost all sense of time, all sense of everything but him and me; moving together.

"Oh shit."

Jasper's head hit the headboard as we neared our release; our movements were hard and fast, needful. He could last for hours, but the one thing I had learnt about him during this week was that when I took control, when our lovemaking turned into a frenzied pace, I brought him to the edge. What pushed him over was my fingers stoking the scar from having his appendix removed as a child. Something about that small line of puckered skin being stroked pulled him over the edge with me.

We were both damp from sweat as my fingers trailed down his chest and abs. I was so close. So close, just like I always was when we made love. I never came just once with him unless I planned it that way. The man had a gift.

I could feel my build up, my legs tingled as I continued my movements, the pressure within me built as I panted and moaned. Jasper's hips rose to meet me as I came down on him, feeling me deeply with pure pleasure.

I was so close, every part of my body tensed as my fingers stroked the smooth puckered line of his scar. My body shuddered around him as I forced myself to move around the building release.

"Fuck Alice, baby."

"Jasper, I . . . shit."

I tensed around him, my whole body igniting as I came. I forced myself to keep moving as I moaned in pleasure. As I reached euphoria, I felt him tense inside of me, pulsing and throbbing as he fell over the edge with me.

He pulled me into his chest as we both trembled and relaxed. My lips ran along his Adam's apple as he swallowed in content. We sat that way for a while coming down from our ultimate high together.

"I need to jump in the shower if we're going to be ready on time. We have to be there early."

"You want to conserve water?"

I giggled, lifting myself from him, and leaning against his still raised thighs. "I would love to, but then we would be late."

I leaned forward and planted a kiss on his lips; before I could pull away he had me wrapped in his arms again. He was always so warm, and the strength of his arms around me felt like safety. He was beginning to feel like home.

"You're right, but you shouldn't be so damn sexy."

I giggled, kissing his nose and pushing up from the bed. I stood in front of him completely naked and unabashed. "You're pretty hot yourself, but if we don't get ready now, not only will Esme and Bella kill us, you're sister and mom will too."

"Anything but that," Jasper replied, winking.

_Sarcastic bastard. I love him._

"It's not as though you need their approval Ali. My mom thinks you're great and Rosalie's one of your best friends. They would be more inclined to blame me than you."

I walked towards the bathroom door laughing. I used to always be on time. I used to be in control of my life. I used to want overtime. Now, I was late everywhere, my life was in a state of comfortable disarray and I all I wanted was to get home to him.

I was sure it would settle eventually, that my need for him would ease into my life where it became part of my daily routine, that I would be able to concentrate even with my desperate need for him, but it was still so new for me. I knew it would never dissipate, I was too invested in him; I needed him like I needed air.

I never thought I would find a love like this, being brought up with my mother it was almost a guarantee that I would come out confused and screwed up. This was a welcome surprise though, something I never even hoped for.

I turned the shower on and waited for the water to heat up as I pulled out towels.

This week had given me hope for someone else too. The other lost soul in my life. Seeing Jacob with Vanessa, seeing the way he looked at her, the way he outwardly flirted with her, comforted me.

No one else probably saw what I did, because they didn't know him like I did. He was infatuated with Nessie. The sparkle in his eyes, the confidence, all of it was indicative to his attraction. I saw the way Bella had eyed me, but I was truly happy for him.

I hoped that the two of them would find something; that she would give him the chance he deserved. Sure, she was younger, but Jacob was a sweetheart, he would look after her and dote on her. He would make her feel safe and sexy, and I hoped she would love him like he deserved to be loved.

I laughed at myself.

He'd only just met her and I was talking about love. I was way ahead of myself. Even though I knew how I felt, I hadn't told Jasper yet, and I didn't plan to. I really didn't want to scare him away, so I would wait.

For as long as it took.

I would wait because I loved him.

I would wait because he was worth it.

I would wait because I was chicken shit.

"Ali, you've been in here for almost an hour, you gonna make me steal the hot water from you?"

"Almost done babe, you can jump in when I am finished."

I rinsed the soap from my body and pulled open the door, stepping out into a warm fluffy towel. My eyes rose to the man holding it for me. I knew my eyes held the unasked questions.

"If I see you wet and naked, we're never getting out of here on time."

I nodded and smirked. I liked knowing I had this affect on him.

I spent the next hour getting ready while Jasper sat on the bed in his towel watching television. I envied men when it came to events like this, women spent hours on their hair and make up, while men simply threw on their tuxes and ran a hand through their hair, maybe shave if it called for it. There was a small amount of inequality when it came down to it.

My hair was now sitting on my shoulders, and I had absolutely no idea how to wear it. I could do Bella's hair with my eyes closed. I could put Rosalie's long blonde tresses up into any intricate design she thought up. Me, however, I could think of nothing to do with my hair.

After another thirty minutes of playing, I finally found something I was happy with.

"What time is it Jazz?"

"Six."

"Are you dressed?"

I walked to the door and almost fell due to the weakness in my knees. His long leonine body carried the tux perfectly. The whole thing looked tailor made for him, fitting the contours of his body to perfection. I wanted to take it off him, screw being on time; this was too much.

"Wow."

"I could say the same about you," he chuckled.

I looked down at the towel wrapped around me and shook my head. He was too much, his dirty blonde hair sat perfectly in place, it was a little long for the formal arrangement, but to me he was pure sex on legs.

"You getting dressed or are you going in a towel sexy?"

"I . . . damn you look handsome," I sighed, heading towards the closet.

He bowed in one fluid motion at the waist, his eyes on my all the while. A roll of pure unadulterated excitement rolled down my spine. I was lost in the moment, lost in my own head fantasizing about the man in front of me.

"Alice," he laughed as he took two steps towards me and swept me into his arms. "What has you so distracted?"

"You do, Whitlock, get your ass outta here."

Jasper laughed, kissing my nose as he stepped away. I watched him walking to the living room, shaking my head at his perfect ass as he left. I had no idea how I had ever been that lucky.

I slipped into my dress. It was deep midnight blue that hugged my waist like a corset and flowed from my hips to the floor with small embellishments throughout the skirt. I pulled up the zipped with ease before perching on the bed and pulling on my shoes. The last thing was the jewelry before I pulled out the masks. The only thing about living in Washington state and going to a formal ball, is the weather. I was lucky enough to have covered parking and I was sure the hotel would have valet parking for the event. However, it was still cold. I would need a jacket.

I draped the coat over my arm and headed into the living room, "You ready?"

Jasper stood up from the couch, a wide smile making the smallest of creases around his eyes. His lips favoring one side of his mouth as he grinned at me. He was so handsome.

"You look amazing Alice," He smiled again, stepping towards me. "I thought the towel looked amazing, but wow."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"You smooth talker," I winked. "You may just get lucky when you get home."

"We could always . . ."

"Don't tempt me Whitlock."

"It was certainly worth a try." He smiled, holding out his hand to me.

I took it, easily sliding my hand into the warmth of his; our usual spark hung between us like an unanswered question, but we had to socialize at some point. As much as I wanted to huddle up in bed with him and never leave, I knew that wasn't how things worked. For one, Bella would murder me. Two, Rosalie would not only kill me for missing the ball, she would kill me for holding her brother hostage.

"Let's go socialize," I sighed, pulling him towards the door.

We took the Porsche to the event. I thought it would be easier, but maneuvering my dress into the small space took more effort than I had anticipated and had Jasper and I laughing harder than a pair dressed like us should. When I was finally situated, and able to see over the folds of material on my lap, we were running slightly late.

We chatted easily as Jasper drove through the last of the evening traffic towards the hotel. I had seen the room they had reserved for the event and it was beautiful. The Fairmont Olympic hotel in downtown Seattle was beautiful. The outside of the building was reminiscent of Italian renaissance architecture. It was romantic; it was beautiful.

The Ball was being held in the Spanish Ballroom and thankfully, the Grand motor entrance was clear as we pulled in, it was an advantage to being early. The rain fell in heavy droplets just as we pulled into the cover area.

Jasper, being the gentleman he is, opened my door, offering me his hand as I struggled to get of the tiny car in the large dress. His arm wrapped tightly around my waist as he guided me into the lobby of the hotel. I pulled my mask on, and sighed as Jasper followed suit. It was just criminal to cover up a face like that.

"You ready Darlin'?"

My teeth sunk into my bottom lip at the endearment, he chuckled as he offered his arm to me with a small bow. If he kept his up he was most certainly getting some tonight. Who was I kidding, it wasn't as though it was a chore, in fact it was quite the opposite.

I curtsied and linked my arm around his as he moved us towards the Spanish staircase that lead to the ballroom. I didn't see anyone else yet but we were early just as Bella had requested.

We made our way up the grand staircase towards the Spanish ballroom slowly, drinking it the beauty that this hotel seemed to offer. It was amazing. The dress, the theme, all of it seemed to match the old renaissance decor of the rooms.

My stomach flipped a little as we passed through the open doors. It was the first time I had been around all of my friends, with Jasper as a couple. I was nervous about the reactions, I was nervous about Jacob.

Yes I was confident he and Nessie would hit it off, and I knew seeing them together wouldn't affect me, but I was hoping that it would be the same for him. I didn't want this to be uncomfortable.

Unfortunately, the moment we approached my best friend, I realized that was unavoidable. Without her saying a word, I knew she'd gotten into an argument with Edward. You could cut the tension between them with a knife.

Bella had been nervous about their latest therapy session and even though she never told me what went on in them and I had never asked; I knew they were a slight source of anxiety for her.

"Hey Bells, Edward."

Bella's dress was a beautiful shade of red that flowed to the floor. It was strapless and the bodice hugged her curves perfectly. She looks amazing next to Edward in his classic black tux and red cumber-bund. Their masks matched the red on the dress and had elaborate but intricate designs.

Both of them looked over at me offering small smiles that didn't really reach their eyes. Whatever was going on, it was big. I hated not being able to ask my friend what was going in her life, but I knew that she was keeping quiet because of their therapy. She didn't want to betray Edward and tell me what should have been kept behind closed doors.

"Alice, you look great."

"I might say the same thing about you Bells." I grinned, kissing her on the cheek as Edward and Jasper shook hands. "What did you need me to do?"

"Just help me make sure everything is ready for the arrival of the guests. I think everything is in place but if you could check your list from you contributors to make sure everything is here that would be great. Oh and the orchestra should be setting up, if you could make sure they have everything they need."

I laughed and nodded. I could tell she was a little frazzled by all of this. I was also sure that Edward and whatever was going on between them wasn't helping the situation at all. I smiled at Edward, gave him a kiss on the cheek and squeezed him gently.

Jasper kept me company as I moved around the room checking on the things Bella wanted me to do, and then stayed with me as I took on my own checklist. We talked easily as I worked moving around the room; it was slowly beginning to fill up.

Jacob and Nessie were sitting close together in a corner chatting animatedly about something, when Jacob looked up at me he beamed and I winked in encouragement. There were no words needed between us, we were back to the way things had been before our tragic mistake.

All the guests had arrived before I had finished the tasks. There were faces I recognized and other I didn't know from Adam. Jasper and I made our way around the room introducing ourselves as we made our way over to our table. Bella and Rose were already sat huddled together gossiping as Emmett and Edward talked amongst themselves.

It was nice to see Edward and Emmett talking again. It hadn't taken as I long as I thought it would for Emmett to come around, I was sure that was more Rosalie's influence than his own.

Jasper kissed me on the forehead before joining Edward and Emmett and I slid into a chair next to Bella.

"Everything is as good as it's gonna get. What have I missed?"

Bella and Rosalie exchanged furtive looks.

"Were you talking about me?"

Rosalie laughed in her usual charming tintinnabulation, and leaned across Bella to pick up my hands. "No, well I guess indirectly we were."

I raised my eyebrows; her answer wasn't what I was expecting.

"What tactless here . . ." Bella said indicating to Rosalie with a shake of her head. "Is trying to say is, Tanya's here."

"And how exactly does Tanya correlate to me?" I asked a little offended about being grouped with the harpy.

"It's not so much Tanya, more her condition."

My eyes scanned the room looking for the strawberry blonde. I was surprise how easy she was to find. She was wearing a form fitting dress that hugged every one of her curves. It wasn't exactly the style of the evening so she stood out easily, even with her mask on. What was more prevalent was the small bump protruding from her stomach. It wasn't much, but against her slight figure, it was very obvious.

"Is she?"

Bella and Rosalie nodded, small smirks on their lips.

"Who's the donor?"

"We can't be certain, but Bella has an idea." Rosalie said, brushing her blonde curls over her shoulder and leaning forward. "Bella saw her a couple months ago leaving a bar with James."

"_My Ex_?!"

Bella nodded, but her eyes looked full of concern. She knew he was still a sore spot for me. Fortunately, I was long over him and could have cared less. Yet I was intrigued.

"I'm going to go find out."

Bella's good hand shot out and caught my wrist. Her eyes were wide as she contemplated whether or not to come with me. She looked to Rosalie who nodded. The three of us stood and made our way over to Tanya who was stood awkwardly trying to hide the bump of her stomach.

"Hey Tanya, right?" I asked offering as genuine of a smile as I could.

Tanya looked at the three of us, but narrowed her eyes at Bella. "Yeah, I interned at the hospital with Edward."

I held out my hand and she took it with an unsure smile. "I'm Alice, you probably know Bella, and that's Rosalie. We just came over to say what a beautiful dress that is."

I could see Rosalie shooting me a look from the corner of her eye.

"Vintage Dior?"

Tanya's face lit up, "Oh, I should have gotten something less form fitting to wear, but I found it and just couldn't say no, even in my little predicament. I guess there no hiding it in scrubs anymore." She laughed uncomfortably and took a sip of her water.

"I bet the father's excited," I grinned; knowing full well that she was completely alone.

Tanya's eyes flickered once to Bella then back to me. Her silence was almost deafening in the large room, even with all of the idle chatter. Her shoulder slumped in defeat and she rolled her eyes.

"He doesn't know, I don't know where he lives or his last name, or . . . laugh it up," she looked directly at Bella, but Bella's face was stoic, her eyes warm.

"Why would we laugh?" Bella inquired; her voice void of the vehemence I knew she felt towards this woman.

"We've never exactly been friends Bella."

"I know that, Tanya, but it doesn't mean that I enjoy seeing you hurting, or suffering."

I didn't know if this new burst of confidence was due to the therapy, but Bella would never normally tell someone exactly what she was feeling. I knew she wasn't lying because she was a terrible liar.

"I appreciate that."

"Do you know who the father is?"

Tanya sighed heavily and ran one hand over the vintage silk stretched across her stomach. She nodded and looked up at Bella with wide eyes. "I think you knew him, he was insulting you a little by name."

"James," Bella sighed nodding her head.

"That's the one," Tanya nodded. "I don't suppose you have his number do you?"

Bella's eyes flickered to me, and back to Tanya. I knew I had to tread lightly. "Not his personal line no, and he travels a lot too," I sighed.

"I feel so stupid," Tanya hung her head and I immediately felt guilty. I gave Bella a furtive glance and she nodded in agreement.

"Look Tanya, there's something you should know about James."

"Jesus, I don't think it could get any worse, hit me with it."

"I used to date him years ago, I know how much of an asshole he is, and I know how persuasive he can be. He works for a big advertising form in New York."

"New York?"

I nodded. "But he comes in for business. If you want me to call you the next time he's in town I can."

It was evil of me, but I had a plan. Tanya declaring her pregnancy to him in front of us meant he couldn't deny knowing her for one thing. Tanya wasn't too terrible, just overbearing. He would have no choice but to move her to New York, giving her and her child the life of luxury. The only person to really get screwed; was James, and I could live with that.

"Why would you do that for me?"

"No one deserves this kind of thing Tanya and I think he has a right to know."

Tanya agreed and gave me her number; I promised her again that I would indeed call her the minute I got my warning.

One bitter ex down, one to go; I had yet to find dirt on Maria, but I knew it would come eventually.

Immature? Hell yes it was, but I think I had deserved that right, and giving Tanya a chance to confront the father seemed like a fair trade. He could never make her happy, but I was certain he would want a part in his child's life and I knew he would put up with shit from Tanya to do it.

The evening progressed perfectly. The awkward air between Bella and Edward seemed to be dwindling with time and I knew that they would be fine once they'd talked out a bit more, whatever it may be of course. I still hadn't attempted to talk to Bella about the discomfort earlier.

"What are you thinking about so hard?" Jasper's warm breath ghosted over my neck making me shudder. I had been standing off to the side of the ballroom in my own world. My eyes had been following Jasper as he moved around the room, but as I got lost in my thoughts, I had lost track of everything else.

"Sorry, I was miles away," I sighed, turning in his arms and pressing my lips to his.

He pulled me tighter, his arms supporting my weight as he deepened the kiss. It took me a minute to remember where we were. I pulled away my chest heaving in the tight dress.

"What have you been doing?"

"Mingling, you were doing the girl thing, so I caught up with my mom."

I think the thud of my heart hitting my stomach could be heard across the loud ballroom. My temples felt like they were throbbing out of control giving away the inner turmoil. Outside I was trying to keep a cool, calm and collected front.

"She wants to say hi, I told her about us," he confessed, kissing my throbbing temple. I knew he had to feel that. "Relax Alice, she already likes you, she speaks very highly of you."

I squeaked, there was really nothing more I could say to that. I knew that was supposed to reassure me, but it didn't have the desired effect. The thought of introducing him to Katherine was just as daunting. My mother was a bitch.

Jasper took my hand and tugged on it persuasively. I hated this, I hated being so nervous about this. Why had I asked Claudia about Jasper, why had I brought up Maria with her? It all sounded so premeditated.

I let him guide me across the room towards Claudia's table. She looked amazing, her blonde tresses were in curls, pinned up but cascading down over her shoulders. Her dress was a vintage Valentino. The cut perfect for her figure.

"Jasper and Alice," Claudia's musical voice reached us quickly and I plastered the biggest smile I could manage on my face. I was nervous, but I wouldn't let that freeze me in fear.

Jasper kissed her on the cheek, winking at her playfully as he tugged me closer to his side. I felt sick.

"So good to see you again Alice, the last time I saw you was at the baby shower."

"Yes, ma'am," I smiled. swallowing the bile that threatened to rise from my stomach. "Your Valentino is amazing. I have been looking for his vintage for a while. It's so hard to come by."

I had to stick with what I knew; it was the one thing that I could count on in a situation like this. Nerves never got the best of me while I was talking designers.

Claudia's face lit up, she leaned in closer. "It's actually been sat in my closet for years."

"You got that original?"

Claudia nodded, looping her arm through mine. "I think you'd be surprised by some of the originals I own."

I loved this woman. No wonder Jasper had a great sense of style. It was obvious, I'm sure if I'd have been in the right frame of mind to notice her ensemble at the shower, I would have noticed the designer immediately. I guess it proved just how much Jasper had distracted me.

"Would you ladies excuse me, Roger's calling me," Jasper said softly.

If I could have screamed no, and held onto his arm for dear life, I would have. It wasn't that I didn't like Claudia, I did. It was the fact that the last time we met, I had insulted Jasper's ex. I could only imagine how that looked to Claudia.

"Of course dear," Claudia smiled at her son and tugged me to the empty seat beside hers that obviously belonged to her husband.

I took the seat silently and smiled. The nerves were eating me alive. Irrationality also seemed to be a constant in my life now.

Claudia sank into her seat gracefully and turned to face me. Her smile was warm, and it eased my current anxiety a little.

"You know, I had a sneaking suspicion you liked Jazz, and for the record, I couldn't be happier."

I released the air I had in my lungs and let a genuine smile replace that of my forced one. It wasn't what I had been expecting, but it worked for me.

"Really?"

"Of course, I've never seen Jasper this happy before. Well, not in a relationship. The fact that you live in Seattle is just, well an added bonus. It means we get to see him more."

"I certainly hope so. I know he travels a lot."

Claudia squeezed my hand, her eyes lighting up and sparkling brightly. "But he now has something to come home for. He likes you Alice, I can see it when he talks about you. I know my son well, and you would be right to trust me on that."

I laughed lightly, it was a strange conversation to be having with the mother of your new boyfriend, but it gave me butterflies to know I had her in my corner.

"Good evening ladies," A loud husky voice pulled me out of my moment, and I grinned broadly.

"Jake," I stood slowly and hugged him around the waist.

"Claudia, this is my friend Jacob Black, we went to college together. Jake, this is Claudia Whitlock Hale, Jasper's mom."

Jacob held out his huge hand and offered it to Claudia. "Very nice to meet you Claudia."

"Likewise Jacob."

"Would you mind if I stole Alice for a dance?"

"Please do."

I smiled and nodded as Jacob led me onto the dance floor. He spun me around and pulled me into his chest. I'm sure the height difference was very obvious like this. He swirled me around the dance floor like a professional. It never ceased to amaze me how agile and graceful he was for his stature.

"You look beautiful Ali."

"Thanks, Jake. You don't look half bad yourself."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

I rolled my eyes. He spun me again, and pulled me back against his body. I could see he had something to say and was putting it off. I knew him to well, and seeing as I was certain about the topic of conversation. I decided to start.

"You and Nessie huh?" I giggled, trying to show my excitement. "I like her Jake, she's sweet."

Jacob's chest rose and fell signifying the deep breath he'd just taken.

"It's not weird for you?"

"No Jake, it's not weird, it's good. I like seeing you happy. You're one of my best friends."

Jacob pulled me closer and kissed the top of my head before dipping me. I giggled at the move. It was typical Jacob.

"It's nice to see you happy too, Ali. Jasper seems like a decent guy."

"He is a decent guy, Jake."

He was more than decent, but that wasn't the kind of thing that I needed to bring up with Jacob. He was one of my best friends, and even though I knew beyond a reasonable doubt things would all work out, I still didn't want to push my luck.

"Speak of the devil," Jake chuckled, spinning me out again.

This time I was caught by someone. Someone who's scent enveloped me and pulled me under. Someone who's arms felt so familiar to me it was like arriving home after a too long day.

"Can I cut in?" Jasper asked, grinning at Jacob.

"Be my guest."

Jacob picked up my hand and kissed it before winking at me. "Thanks for the dance Al."

"Anytime Jake."

He beamed and turned around, disappearing into the sea of masked faces twirling around the dance floor. It was nice to have my best friend back. We were still us, even after the strained moment in the hospital, and the awkward ride to my house while I was staying at Bella's.

Most things with Jacob were easy. It's how we'd fallen into the situation to begin with.

"Hey beautiful."

"Hey handsome."

I let my head fall against his chest with a contented sigh. I could feel his body against mine. The familiar buzz that passed between us was here in abundance. It never really left. I always knew when he was close. There were times I could look into his eyes and just know what he was thinking. Every day, and every hour gave me another discovery about Jasper Whitlock, I couldn't get enough of him.

We weren't even dancing really. Just swaying on the spot clutching one another as though this were the last time we'd ever have this opportunity. I loved him desperately. I always would. I felt safe with him, I felt alive when we touched. I never expected that, I never expected to find something that would make me feel like this.

"Alice."

I smiled. I loved hearing my name on his lips.

"Yeah."

"I love you."

My heart stopped, my throat went dry, and a lump the size of Texas filled my throat. It wasn't what I had been expecting to hear at all. Elation built inside of me like pressure in a small confined area. I was about to explode with happiness. Tears of happiness welled in me eyes.

"Alice?"

I hadn't been aware of my silence until I heard the nervousness in his voice. I wanted to laugh, I wanted to cry, but first things first; I needed to tell him how I felt.

I leaned away and looked up into the sapphire orbs. With everything I knew with every ounce of my being, I told him how I felt.

"I love you too, Jazz."

His lips crashed onto mine before I had time to take a breath, even our swaying had stopped. We just gripped onto one another as though it was the only thing holding us in place.

He loved me. He _loved_ me!

Our lips moved in their usual perfect synchronization, his hands held me to him as though I would disappear if he didn't. My hands tangled into the hair at the base of his neck, holding me to him so we could deepen the kiss.

I felt so alive, I wanted to stop everything and shout '_he loves me_' from the top of my lungs.

The kiss, full of everything we were feeling slowed, his lips closed around my bottom one briefly before he let them travel along my jaw to my ear. His hot breath washed across the lobe making me shiver in pleasure.

"How about getting out of here? I think I wanna take you up on the offer of getting some tonight."

**

* * *

A/N: Ahh there wasn't really a lemon planned for this chapter, but I couldn't help it. No matter how many times I sat down to write it out, it always came to that. So I let them have at it.**

**When your characters demand something . . . you gotta give em an . . . never mind, that would sound dirty!**

**My new fiction is going to be posted at some point this week, either today or tomorrow. It's called The Girl Under the Bed. So keep an eye out for that please.**

**To Bemylullaby and Miztrezboo, my fellow monkey lovers . . . VIVA LOS MONKEYS!! I heart you girls hard!!**

**Do you have something to tell us goldentemptress . . .**

_Yes, I do L.....my new story was just posted today. It's an angsty story of romance and adultery called Brotherly Devotion. Go check it out......:)_

_Oh, and go check the thread for a teaser of tomorrow's chapter.....hope you like it... (The link is on my profile if you need it)_

_And one more thing....geesh, there are alot of announcements today...We have started a story called The Dryer Monster: The Missing Socks that features outtakes from Socks. Go check out our first installment and put it on alert. We plan on updating it on Fridays....this week's should be a doozy....:D_


	31. The Breaking Point

**Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight…..um, yeah, nothing witty today, just don't own it…. *sigh***

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The Breaking Point**

**BPOV**

The night that I had spend months working on was coming off without a hitch, that is if you could overlook the fact that I had been exchanging disparaging looks with my husband all evening. I knew that he was frustrated, but I was terrified, so I didn't really know what to do about it all.

It all started off well today, I picked his tux up from the cleaners, got my dress steamed, and came home to a rather chipper Edward playing in the backyard with Bailey. That was just the beginning of the end for tonight.

Standing in the middle of the dance floor with Edward's arms wrapped around me and my head resting on his chest was almost enough to make me forget what had happened up until now.

***

_**Five Hours Earlier:**_

"Hey," I called out with a smile on my face as I watched Edward running around the yard chasing Bailey who refused to give him her tennis ball.

He stopped abruptly, turned to face me and nodded with a pensive look on his face. Apparently we were back to the silent treatment. He had refused to talk to me since Wednesday other than what was required, and I just wanted him to blow up and yell at me already.

I knew that I hurt him by telling him I wasn't ready to think about having kids with him, but he was taking the whole thing too personally. Just as I thought that we had made some real progress and his walls were coming down, he put them back up and refused to talk to me about it.

He wasn't angry, he made that much clear on Wednesday after dinner, but he wasn't happy either.

The problem wasn't that I couldn't trust him with a child, it was that I just wasn't ready to entertain that idea again so soon. I know that I was only a few weeks into it, but its scary when you lose something like that. What if I lost another child further in next time? Was that something I was ready to risk?

"I'm going to go shower," I said sighing as he looked at me curiously. "Don't get too sweaty, you need to get ready when I am done."

"Alright," he answered quietly as he lured Bailey back into the house with the promise of a treat. "Oh, my mother called, she wanted to tell you that she upgraded our room. It's an executive suite now."

"That was nice of her," I said quietly as he placed his palm against my back and kissed me on the cheek.

We had agreed upon staying at the Fairmont overnight. I had always loved having the opportunity to have hotel sex, but I wasn't so sure that it was on the table anymore.

The tension that had been there before our therapy session was gone and he had returned to his chaste displays of affection with me.

"Well I am going to go get ready. I'll call down when I am done."

I couldn't help the tears that mixed with the water of the shower. I hated that I hurt him, but he wouldn't let me explain myself. He was just the silently obedient husband, the shell of the man that I had married. I missed the fighting Edward who knew how to push all of my buttons. I would have given anything for him to just blow up at me. At least then I would know what was going through his head.

Once I had composed myself enough that the blotches were gone from my face, I called down to let him know that he could shower and went into the guest bathroom to do my makeup.

I missed Alice too. We had always gone to these boring events together, but now with Jasper in the picture, she didn't need me anymore.

Life was getting better, I had a great job, I was working on my marriage, I had great friends, but somehow I still felt alone. Something was going to have to give soon because walking on eggshells in my own home was not something I wanted to continue.

I spent twenty minutes fighting with my hair and was finally able to achieve some loose barrel curls that fell to my shoulders. Alice was the expert with the updos, so I just resigned myself to the fact that I would be wearing my hair down. I never really cared for pins in my hair anyways. By the end of my wedding reception, I felt like my skin was raw, so leaving it down was a much better alternative for tonight.

My makeup didn't take nearly as long, so when I returned to the bedroom, I was pleasantly surprised to find that Edward was showered, shaved, and mostly dressed. His back was to the door when I peeked in, so I quickly fled to the closet to try to get into my dress.

Alice had insisted that I get a dress that was a bright color for tonight. She was tired of me being safe with my clothing choices, and to be honest I was too. I had purchased a floor length red gown that was strapless and had a fairly full skirt. I was tempted to ask Rosalie to borrow her red heels, but decided that something with a lower heel would guarantee I would not end up wearing another cast by the end of the night.

Luckily, my second black cast was still in fairly good condition. I was tempted to go see if I could get Dr. Weber to replace the webbing with red, but then decided that it might be a little weird to match my cast to my dress. Only three more weeks until I could get the damn thing cut off, and I was counting down the days.

Once I pulled the dress up, there was no way I would be able to hold it up and zip it at the same time, so I reluctantly walked out into the bedroom to get help.

"Edward?" I asked quietly as he was putting in his cuff links at the dresser on the other side of the room.

"Yes, love?" he responded without making eye contact.

"Can you help me zip the dress? I can't reach."

He turned towards me with a shy smile and nodded his head as he crossed the room.

"You look lovely," he said softly as he came around behind me to pull up the long zipper in the back of the dress.

The old Edward would have told me I looked sexy and pressed himself against me while kissing my neck, and I missed my husbands advances dearly.

_Who knew that I would miss my husband's pervy advances as much as I do?_

"Thank you," I replied as he finished zipping me up and walked towards the bed to put on his jacket.

I walked into the bathroom to give myself a quick look before we headed downstairs, and was pleasantly surprised that I was able to get ready by myself.

I put on my diamond solitaire necklace and some diamond studs and walked back out into the bedroom.

When I got there, Edward had already headed downstairs, and I once again hated the distance that had formed between us. I was so sick of this. It was getting really old that he was acting like this around me. At this point, I didn't care if it was going to ruin the night or not, he was going to talk to me whether he wanted to or not.

Edward was in the kitchen nursing a beer when I got downstairs and I rolled my eyes at the fact that he couldn't at least wait until we got there to start drinking.

"Are you ready?" I asked as I grabbed my little clutch purse and headed towards the door into the garage.

"Yeah, just let me finish this and we can go."

"Was it really necessary to start drinking before we even left? What if you got pulled over?"

"Bella, it is _one_ beer. It's not like I am down here doing shots. Chill out," he said with a slight amount of irritation in his voice.

_Come on Edward, fight with me. Stop acting like a zombie…._

"Whatever," I muttered as I pulled open the door and stepped into the garage.

Edward's normal sedan had been replaced with his black Aston Martin, and I smiled at the fact that he had gotten it out of storage for tonight.

"You got the car out?"

"Well it would appear that way wouldn't it," he bit back.

"God, what is your problem?"

"Nothing," he snapped back. "Nothing is _my_ problem."

He held the passenger door open for me with one eyebrow raised and then slammed it once I was inside.

_So it's going to be like that._

I waited until he had backed the car out of the garage and gotten on the highway to head into the city before I baited him.

"So are you going to actually talk to me tonight?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" he asked looking in my direction briefly.

"Well, I just figured it would be hard to give me the silent treatment without a television around. Although I guess you could go hide with your doctor friends if you really wanted to get away from me."

He scoffed as his hands tightened around the steering wheel of the car.

"What, not going to respond to that one Edward?"

He took in a shaky breath and I could see the muscles in his jaw clench as he tried to remain quiet.

When he reached for the dial to the radio, I slapped his hand away. He wasn't going to get off that easy.

"What do you want me to say to you Bella?" he said raising his voice. "You want me to just act all normal when I know you are analyzing my every move? I get it. I fucked up. When exactly are you going to get over the fact that I left and quit holding it against me?"

"You think I am holding it against you?"

"Well why else would you say you weren't ready to even discuss having children? It's obvious you don't trust me."

"God. You don't get it do you? I was scared shitless. I know that you didn't leave on purpose. I get that, but that doesn't mean that this whole situation doesn't still scare me. Did you ever think that maybe my real reasons for not wanting to start trying again so soon have nothing to do with you?"

"Then why did you say that they did? Did you just want to hurt my feelings? Was it fun to see me squirm in front of the doctor for being the asshole husband?"

"Because I was scared damn it. I am still scared!"

By this time, we were pulling up into the access road that led to the hotel and I knew that we needed to hash this out quickly because I had bigger responsibilities tonight.

"What are you so scared of? I told you I wouldn't leave again. I won't."

"I know," I said softly, wiping a tear off my cheek.

Edward pulled the car over and turned it off before we got to the valet station and turned to face me, bringing his hand up to cup my cheek.

"What are you afraid of Bella? Please talk to me."

I shook my head and sighed loudly as I reached for the door handle.

"Where are you going?"

"I can't do this now," I stuttered out as I pushed the door open and put a foot out onto the sidewalk.

"Bella, get back in the car."

I shook my head again and turned away from him to pull myself out.

"Bella, god damn it. Talk to me. Get back in the damn car and talk to me," he said angrily as he reached to grab my shoulder.

"I can't," I choked out. I couldn't do this now or I would break down. "I have to go."

"Get in the car now," he growled as he tried to pull me back inside. "Don't run away from me. We need to talk about this. The damn ball can wait."

"I have to go Edward. We will talk about this later. I have a lot of things to do tonight and I can't be late," I said as I stepped out onto the sidewalk and looked back towards the car.

Edward was tugging on his hair roughly before he clenched his jaw and reached over to slam the door closed. He gunned the engine as he sped off towards the parking lot. I let out a shaky breath as I started to walk towards the front entrance to the hotel.

Tonight was going to be a so much fun with a pissed off Edward roaming around. Maybe it would have just been easier to let him stay the quiet polite husband he had been all week.

Once I got inside, I could see that the staff members of the hotel as well as the foundation members had outdone themselves. The room looked amazing.

I quickly found Esme and got to work supervising the placement of all of the menu and place cards, as well as setting up the display of the programs.

Esme was talking animatedly to her group of fellow charity foundation ladies, so I kept my distance to avoid having to talk to her tonight. She had been encouraging me to talk about the miscarriage with her, but it still felt awkward. It was too soon and I still wasn't sure if she had ulterior motives with me. Esme had been cheerleading for grandchildren for awhile now, so I wasn't so sure she would take my side in this matter. She would be ecstatic if she knew that Edward was finally ready to start a family.

"Bells," a loud voice boomed as I was surrounded by two strong arms and lifted into the air. "You look hot baby sister."

"Em, leave the poor girl alone," Rosalie scolded as he put me back down on the floor and turned me to face him.

"Thank you for coming guys," I said happily as I reached over to hug my sister-in-law.

"Of course we would be here," she replied as she pulled me back so she could look at me. "It's nice to see that you aren't quite as helpless as you use to be."

"Oh, thanks Rose," I said sarcastically as I feigned being upset.

"Seriously Bells, you look amazing," Em said quietly as he looked over my shoulder with a questioning look on his face. "I was going to ask where Eddie was, but I see he has already started hitting the hard stuff."

I turned in the direction of the bar just long enough to see Edward take back a shot and shake his head before he motioned for another one.

"Still fighting?" Em said seriously as he pulled me into his side.

"The car ride over was not pretty."

"I'll go take care of him Bells. You talk with Rosie about Evan, she is dying to brag about our child," he said smiling brightly at his wife.

"So what is going on with you two?" Rose asked as she pulled me towards the nearest table. "I thought you said that you were doing better."

"We were," I muttered bitterly as I looked towards my lap. "He's angry about something I said in our last session. He's been giving me the silent treatment and then I picked a fight with him in the car."

"Men," Rosalie scoffed as she rolled her eyes.

I could hear laughter coming from the bar, so I hoped that my brother could get him to loosen up.

The next hour or so went quickly. Edward was acting somewhat normal towards me by the time that Alice and Jasper showed up, so at least I didn't have to explain why my angry husband was still doing shots at the bar to her. I knew that Ali could sense the tension, but she deserved to have a fun night with Jasper, so I wasn't going to burden her with my marriage issues.

By the time the guests started to arrive, I had retreated to our table with Rosalie to people watch. Some of the old society wives did not seem pleased that the crowd this year was younger than normal. It was interesting to see the sharp contrasts in the attire between the two groups. At least the men had it easy; they all just got to wear tuxedos.

When a familiar head of strawberry blond hair came into view, I couldn't help the surprised squeak as I noticed her cradling a very faint baby bump.

"What?" Rose asked as she turned to look in my direction.

"Oh. My. God." I said with my eyebrows raised. "I think that Tanya might be carrying the devil's spawn."

"Wait….what?" Rose said as he looked for what I was trying to discreetly point at on the dance floor. "Holy shit, that skank does have a bun in the oven."

"You really think so?" I asked quietly. "Do you think she could have just gotten fat?"

"Nope, that is definitely the beginnings of the bump. She isn't very far along, but it is there. My god, why in the hell would she wear a dress that tight if she is showing like that?"

I looked over at Rose with an eyebrow raised and she started laughing.

"Of course she would. My mistake, she always has been quite the slut. At least she might stay away from Edward now that she is knocked up. I wonder who managed to plant the seed."

"I think I might know who," I whispered as leaned closer to Rose and looked towards the other side of the table where Edward and Emmett were still oblivious to our conversation.

"Oh do tell," Rose said excitedly as she leaned down towards me.

"I saw her and James leave together the night of the intern exam party at this bar downtown," I whispered quietly.

"Holy shit," Rose exclaimed as she clasped her hand over her mouth. "That douche James that Ali brought to my wedding?"

I nodded as she straightened up and looked over my shoulder with wide eyes.

"Shh. Alice is coming, act normal."

We both exchanged glances and I turned to look at Alice and Jasper coming towards our table hand in hand.

***

It had been two hours since we confronted Tanya, and Edward was still acting weird towards me, but at least he was attempting to spend time with me.

I had barely seen Jasper and Alice all night, but when I did spot her, she was having a conversation with his mother. It seemed to be going well so I could only hope that Alice got the motherly seal of approval. They were both high spirited artsy types, so I figured that she would not have many problems.

Jacob had been attached at the hip with Edward's cousin Nessie the entire night, and I had never seen him look quite so outwardly happy. He was a naturally content guy, but he was beaming the entire time he was with her. I was happy that there had finally been someone to catch his eye since the whole Alice debacle. That had been a doomed pairing from the start, and thank god they had both gotten out with minimal damage.

"Bella," Edward said softly, pulling me out of my reflection.

I looked up towards him and was surprised by the intensity in which he was looking at me while we swayed to the music.

"You're beautiful," he murmured as he brought his hand up from my waist to lightly stroke the side of my face. "I'm sorry. I'll wait as long as you need."

I nodded and tucked my face back into his jacket as the song finished.

After it was done, the orchestra announced that it was taking a break and the DJ started to play soft slow songs for those of us who were still out on the dance floor. People had been filtering out since dinner was over, and Rose and Emmett were long gone. She had gotten the go ahead from the doctor yesterday a week early, so I had a feeling that they were defiling their hotel suite.

Edward tensed up on the second song because it was the song that we had danced to at our wedding. It was a soulful Sarah McLachlan song called _Push_ that had been my first choice when we were picking out songs. He had wanted to dance to a classic Sinatra ballad, but I wanted a song that fit my feelings for Edward.

His arms tightened around me as I tried to fight back the tears. I had always assumed that Edward and I would have the push – pull dynamic in our relationship but that we would always stay strong for each other. After the baby was lost, he ran, he didn't even give me the opportunity to push him, so it was heartbreaking to know that such a large rift had been caused in our marriage because of it.

He kissed the top of my head softly as he led me around the dance floor.

"I'm so sorry," he said in a heavy voice as he ran his hand up and down my back. "I never meant to let you down."

He had been constantly reassuring me for the past month that he would let me push him as far as I wanted, and now I finally trusted that he wasn't going to leave again. He was trying, and I had to recognize that. Living like this was killing me and I didn't know how much longer I could do it.

When the song ended, he hooked a finger on my chin and turned my face up towards him. His soft lips made contact with mine and I sighed at the sparks that were still there in such a simple kiss. The chemistry was still there no matter how hard we fought with each other, and I knew that even though it was hard we were going to make it through this.

"Can we please go up to the room now?" he asked in a husky voice as he kissed me behind my ear.

I tensed up as his hands gripped both of my hips firmly. I knew what he wanted, and I was still a little wary of what that would mean for us. I didn't want to rush back into being intimate when our marriage was still in this precarious balance.

When I didn't respond to him, he pulled back to look at me with a frustrated look on his face.

"I'm sorry," I said as I pulled out of his embrace and walked towards our table to get my purse. I needed to get air. I needed to do something. My head was spinning after all of the drama of the day and I was just as confused as ever.

Edward was right behind me as I reached the elevator, begging me to stop so he could catch up with me.

He stepped in right behind me and pushed the door close button once he noticed that we were alone.

My back hit the cool wall of the elevator as he stalked towards me with a determined look on his face. He bent down to my level, placing his hands on the wall on each side of me, trapping me there.

"Why do you keep running away from me Bella? I'm not going to leave again, I can't. I couldn't stay away from you if I tried. I'm in this for good. You _are_ it for me. I knew that the first time I saw you. Please don't push me away. I love you. Bella I want to love you, please let me love you," Edward pleaded as he backed me further against the wall of the elevator.

His chest was pressed up against mine as he began to run the palms of his hands up the back of my dress, lightly squeezing when he reached my backside.

"Edward," I breathed out as he brought his lips down to the side of my neck, running them lightly along the surface of my skin.

"Please Bella, please. We need this," he murmured into my neck as he lightly flicked out his tongue and began to suck and nibble at the tender flesh.

I was shaking as he held me there. I closed my eyes and let out a shaky breath as his hands became more insistent, trailing up my sides to lightly graze the sides of my breasts.

The chime from the elevator reaching our floor startled me.

Edward slowly backed away from me, reaching down to take my hand before he pecked me lightly on the cheek.

He walked down the hallway briskly, towing me behind him, until he reached the door of our suite. Esme had arranged for the four of us who helped with the advertising campaign, as well as our dates, to have an upgrade to the executive suites in the hotel.

From what I could tell as Edward led me towards the bed in the darkened room, it had a richly furnished sitting area that was separated from the large king sized bed by a set of French doors.

"Bella," he whispered as he pulled the doors open and stepped behind me. "I love you so much. I am so sorry for overreacting. I understand why you want to wait. Please, just let me love you, I _need_ to be with you. We don't have to try until you are ready, but don't shut me out."

I was trembling as he ran his lips along the back of my neck, moving my hair aside so he could kiss along my hairline. His fingertips were slowly running down my arms as he pressed my back against his chest. When his fingers moved towards the sides of my breasts again, I couldn't bite back the moan that escaped my lips.

He was right. It had been too long. We hadn't made love since I was suffering from the morning sickness. Six weeks was a long time to be away from him intimately. I wanted him as much as he seemingly wanted me, but I was scared.

I wanted to trust him, I really did, but after everything that had happened, I was scared of so many things.

I trusted that he wouldn't leave me again, he had made that abundantly clear during therapy. I knew that now and I was trying to trust him fully. He didn't intend to hurt me, he was hurting too.

The thing that I was scared of most was what if I couldn't get pregnant after losing the baby. The doctor had told me that sometimes women had complications with getting pregnant right away after a miscarriage. I didn't want to let myself get my hopes up if it didn't happen. I also didn't want to risk losing another child.

It may not have been anyone's fault, but I was still terrified of what could happen. Putting my heart on the line again like that was frightening.

"I'm scared," I whispered as I leaned back into his touch. A single tear slid down my cheek as I tried to calm my breath. He ran his hands around my sides to rest on my stomach as he rested his chin on my shoulder.

"I know you are baby," he whispered in my ear. "I'm scared too, but I know that I want this now. I'll wait until you are ready, but don't even doubt that I don't want this with you. I have never wanted something more than I want a family with you."

He sounded so sincere as he cradled me in his arms and I nodded slightly as I felt his lips linger on my cheek.

"Make love to me Edward," I whispered; my voice heavy with emotion.

He sighed as he processed my words and placed his hands on my hips to turn me around to face him.

"I love you Bella," he said softly as he leaned down to press his lips lightly to mine. "I will never take you for granted again."

He had said those words to me so many times before, but after all he had done to fight for me, to fight to save our marriage over the last month, I believed him.

We were both scared, but as long as we stayed on the same page, as long as we were in this together, I could trust him again.

"I love you too," I whispered as I ran my hands up the arms of his tuxedo jacket and into his soft hair.

"God Bella, you look amazing in this dress," he growled as his hands became more insistent, running roughly along my sides.

As he began to grip my hips firmly and grind his hips against my own, I was whimpering loudly, arching my back so he could reach all of the exposed skin above the top of my dress.

"Please," I moaned as I felt his erection press against my stomach.

His hands slid around to my back and he slowly began to pull the zipper down, his fingertips brushing against the exposed skin of my back.

Once the zipper was all the way down, he brought his fingers around to the front of the dress and lightly ran them along my collarbones and the swells of my breasts. He was gazing at them reverently as he touched me softly.

Suddenly, his gaze flickered up to me and his eyes were filled with an array of emotions, wonder, lust, love, anxiety, and I was sure that my eyes reflected those as well.

As he slowly gripped the top of my dress and began to pull it down, I reached my hands forward to untie his little black bowtie.

Once he had pushed the bodice down past my hips, it fell loosely around my feet. His breathing increased as he ran the back of his hand across the soft lace of my strapless bra. I could feel my nipples tighten instantly at his soft touch and my lips parted as the familiar warmth began to spread throughout my body.

Edward's touch still had the same feeling that it always had, but somehow the anticipation of what to come had intensified our bond. We had made love hundreds of times in our relationship, but reconnecting after everything that had happened was so much more powerful.

"You are still so beautiful love," he whispered as he ran his palm over the soft skin at my waist and up between my breasts, stopping to cup the side of my face lovingly.

My trembling fingertips were battling with the small decorative buttons of his tuxedo shirt, and my heart began to beat faster with each small amount of his chiseled torso that was revealed.

Once I had finished releasing each of them from their tiny holes, I reached up to slowly push his jacket from his shoulders. He let it fall quietly to the ground behind him as I reached inside of his shirt and ran my hands along his stomach.

He moaned quietly as his muscles twitched underneath my palms. I loved that after all this time I could still affect him as much as he affected me.

When he reached around to unclasp my bra, I tugged the tails of his shirt from his dress pants and started to push his shirt off his shoulders. It caught on his wrists and he chuckled as I reached down to remove his cuff links. Removing tuxedos was always so much work, but he looked amazing in them, so I just blushed and smiled as he watched me fumbling with the buttons at his wrists.

"Shh," I said as I looked up into his eyes. "You have the easy job, one zipper and you are done. I have to undo these damn tiny little buttons."

He shook his head at me as he freed his hands from his shirt and tossed it to the side.

His large warm hands ran up the skin of my stomach and I gasped as he slowly brought the pads of his thumbs to my aching nipples. He tentatively brushed them along the sensitive skin before he leaned down to take one of them into his warm mouth.

"Oh god," I moaned as his tongue flicked against my sensitive nipple, his other hand tugging lightly on the other one.

He continued his ministrations as I ran my hands along his shoulders and down his back.

"Please," I whimpered as I reached down to try to unbutton his pants. "Now, Edward, I can't wait anymore."

He groaned as he kissed his way back towards my mouth and took me in a fiery kiss as he wrapped his arms around me and walked back towards the bed.

When the backs of my legs hit the mattress, he lifted me up slightly and leaned me back against the bed. I leaned up on my elbows to watch him as he unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants. They fell to the ground with a soft swish. He stepped out of them after kicking off his shoes and toeing off his socks.

I licked my lips as I watched Edward crawl up the end of the bed towards me wearing nothing but his black boxer briefs. I was ready for this, I needed him and I was determined not to be scared of rekindling the intimacy in our relationship.

Edward slid one of his arms around my back and lifted me up slightly as he moved us back towards the headboard.

Once he settled my head against the pillow, he smiled at me and then slowly took my top lip between both of his. The kiss started out slow and tender, Edward running the palms of his hands up my sides to cup the sides of my face.

When I darted my tongue out and licked at his bottom lip, he groaned as he bucked his hips into mine.

Our movements became frantic as he ran a hand down my side to cup my thigh and hitch my leg over his hip. His covered erection was nestled between my thighs, pressing against the lace barrier covering my aching center.

After we were both panting furiously, my lips swollen from his kisses, he hooked his thumbs into my panties and slowly lowered them down my legs, kissing my thighs and stomach on the way back up.

"I love you Bella. I mean that. If I have to tell you that and show you everyday for the rest of my life I will," he whispered in my ear as his lips connected with the soft patch of skin behind it.

His long fingers ghosted along the edge of my folds, sliding along my wetness as he continued kissing and nipping along my neck and shoulders.

"Oh god," I moaned as he tentatively dipped a finger inside of me, slowly twisting it as he brought his thumb to my clit.

The tightening feeling in my stomach was increasing tenfold with his movements and I wanted him inside of me.

I reached down and tugged at his boxers, hoping that he would get the idea that I wanted more than just his fingers.

"Please," I moaned as he kissed me quickly. Then he leaned back to push down his boxers quickly and throw them off the side of the bed.

As soon as he was free, he returned his weight on top of me and I could feel his erection pressed against the inside of my thigh. He was propping himself up on his elbows, looking into my eyes as he positioned himself at my entrance.

"I love you," I whispered as I felt him press the head into me, stretching me slightly.

He kissed me sweetly as he pushed into me further. Taking several tentative thrusts, he was finally able to sheath himself fully inside of my wetness. We both moaned as he began to move slowly inside of me.

His touches became softer, more controlled as he pulled himself out slowly and pushed back in.

"Oh god you feel so good, so tight," he moaned as he moved one of his hands down to hold on to my hip.

I arched my back as he continued to thrust slowly, my orgasm slowly building up momentum with the friction he was causing.

As I moaned loudly and bucked my hips up towards his, he froze.

I opened my eyes and looked at him with confusion. He looked terrified as he pulled out of me and laid his head on my shoulder panting.

"Bella, I am so sorry. I forgot, hold on, let me get a condom," he said quickly as he slid off the side of the bed and reached into the pocket of his dress pants.

When he crawled back up towards me, I decided that I didn't need to wait for some big sign that I was ready. I was tired of being scared and heartbroken. Our relationship may not have been perfect, but he was my husband and I intended for him to stay that way for a long time.

Leaning back on his knees between my legs, he ripped open the little silver wrapper and began to pull the condom out.

"Stop," I said quickly, leaning up towards him.

I grabbed it from him, tossed the wrapper off the side of the bed and took him by the hands.

He was frantically searching my eyes for my intentions as I sat up and kissed him on the chest.

"We don't need it. I'm ready. I'm not scared anymore," I said looking up into his eyes.

I meant it. I wasn't scared anymore. I wanted to try to have another baby with him.

He smiled at me as he leaned forward, taking me back towards the mattress with him.

"Are you sure?" he asked as he settled himself between my legs, looking at me intently.

"I'm sure," I said quietly as I nodded at him. "Let's make a baby."

He took a deep breath and kissed me softly as he pushed the hair out of my face.

"Ok. Let's make a baby," he whispered to me as he guided himself back inside of me.

His movements were slow and smooth as he brought me to the brink of my orgasm again.

My hands were roaming the smooth skin of his back as he kissed me softly on every inch of my neck and face, whispering words of love.

As my muscles began to clench around him, I arched myself into his chest, moaning out his name as I came.

The movements of his hips became less controlled as he continued to move within me.

"Uhhh," he moaned as he eventually sheathed himself inside of me and came forcefully. "I love you Bella, sooo much."

"I love you too Edward," I responded softly as he relaxed his weight on top of me, our sweaty bodies intertwined.

I didn't know if we had just created a life, but I knew that if we did, it was being created out of love. Nothing in my relationship with Edward was perfect, but I knew that we were both committed to making this work, through both the good and the bad.

**

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A/N: Alright everyone, the dry spells are over for both of our characters and Assward has officially been put to rest…..I think…..we hope……lol**

**Thank you all for the overwhelming response after my last author's note rant. It meant a lot to me that you all supported our vision to the story. We are trying to strive towards something realistic in writing this, and we know that real people aren't always able to suck it up and make everyone happy in a few days.**

**If you need some reading material. Nostalgicmiss and I have both started posting our new stories this week. **

**Mine is called Brotherly Devotion and it is the continuation of the one-shot Suite 2226…..its lots of steamy fun so come over and check it out, there is a thread on twilighted for the story as well, the link is on my profile.**

**Nostalgimiss' new story is called The Girl Under the Bed, and it is a story with an amazing premise that features Bella as a strong central character. She is living on the streets of Seattle trying to stay alive and runs into some unexpected trials and people along the way. I love this story and it is truly worth the read.**

**For those of you who haven't made the trip over to read The Dryer Monster, stop wasting time….the little outtakes we have planned will be a hilarious and fun addition to this story….and you will get to see inside some of the other character's heads….There is a different POV each outtake….. :)**

**Till next week….Don't forget to leave us some love!**


	32. Lobster Lunches And Boarding Passes

_**Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. All designers and other such things belong to the rightful owners. Couture and MJP however . . . Pinkie to lips!!**_

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Lobster Lunches and Boarding Passes**

**APOV**

I now hated Mondays. Mondays dragged along painfully slowly. After spending almost all of my time with Jasper over the weekends, being separated from him for that first day was hard. Like everything, I fell into a pattern during the week but then the next weekend, the same thing would happen and I was right back where I started.

I missed him.

Yes I was pathetic, I had only given him a kiss two hours ago when I left for work. He was standing at my door, his pajama pants hanging low on his hips showing that perfect V - that was perfectly distracting me. My cheek up against his warm chest as he once again uttered the words that had kept us in bed all day Sunday, the words that had us foregoing the suite and heading straight home because we knew we didn't want to leave the small island of bed.

_He loved me._

"Alice."

I was pulled out of my musings by Amanda's voice. I looked up at her and grinned. I had been next to useless the past couple of weeks, I needed to balance out my life a little better. Poor Bella - I'm sure - was feeling neglected. She had so much going on with Edward, but they were all issues they were bringing up in therapy. It really wasn't the done thing to talk about it outside of that.

I could however, make more of an effort to spend time with her.

"Jasper's on line two for you."

"Thanks," I gave her a grin before she backed out of the room completely and pulled the door shut behind her. I felt bad, she'd been picking up my slack. I had to get my head back in the game.

I picked up the phone receiver, and hit the extension button.

"Hey Jazz."

"Hey babe, not disturbing you am I?" I could hear his smile in his voice, and it made me my heart melt.

"Never," I giggled, cradling the headset between my ear and shoulder. I was one of those annoyingly in love people I always used to complain about.

"I have some good news."

"Hit me with it."

"Ralph Lauren has offered me a spot in the newest campaign. He said that he saw the shoot in Couture, and he realized I was the new face of Ralph Lauren for Men."

"Are you serious?" I was on my feet, my chair rolling backwards, a huge smile actually making my cheeks hurt. "I told you you had it in the bag."

Jasper laughed quietly on the other end of the phone. The excitement was still there, but there was hesitance mingled with it. I knew him enough to know there was more, that there was a catch. I lowered myself back into my seat, rolling it back towards the desk.

"Why don't you sound as excited as you should?"

"I'm excited," Jasper sighed. I could easily see him in my minds-eye with his hand clasping the back of his neck. I could hear it in his voice. "They just want me to come to New York . . . tonight."

"Tonight?"

"Yeah, I know it's short notice Al, and believe me, I'm really not ready to leave you yet, but I want to take this."

"And you should, this could be the start of your career. Do you honestly think I would try and stop you?"

Jasper laughed. The sound was warm and filled with relief. I couldn't believe he thought I was going to complain about it. I mean sure, I would miss him terribly, but this was his dream. This is what he'd been aiming for since he'd graduated from college. He'd risked everything to try and follow his dream, and I couldn't be more proud of him.

"Have I told you I love you?"

"I believe you just did Mr. Whitlock," I giggled. "What time is your flight?"

"Four forty five."

"Well look at that, it gives you plenty of time to take me to lunch. I will take the rest of the afternoon off and drive you to the airport if you like?"

"I'd more than like it," He voice became a little deeper and huskier. I shifted in my seat, as heat enveloped my body. "I can think of a couple of things I'd like to do before I leave."

My teeth drove into my bottom lip as my memory took me back to the last two days spent in bed with him. I always wanted him. I was a twenty-something with a healthy sexual appetite, but when it came to Jasper, I was insatiable. I couldn't get enough of him. He consumed me.

"Glad we're on the same page," I whispered.

"When can you get out of there?"

"Lunch. Let me get some things done, and it could be earlier."

"Then hop to it baby," he chuckled, the previous rasping of his voice now gone.

"I'll see you later then."

"You will, I love you."

I smiled.

"I love you too."

I hung up the phone with a smile on my face. I couldn't hear that enough from him. It was like a drug to me, I craved it, I needed it. I was pathetic and I loved it. I pressed the button on the intercom to Amanda and explained the situation. I had a hard couple of hours work ahead of me, but after that; I was all Jasper's.

I pushed myself in those hours at the office. I knew what I needed to get done, and what took precedence over everything else. All too soon work would have my full attention again, so I wasn't too worried about the things I jumped over or avoided.

Before I knew it, it was eleven thirty.

"Alice," Amanda's voice was what had startled me out of my deep concentration.

"It's time to head out. Jasper called and said he'd meet you at home."

"Thanks Amanda, sorry to skip out on you again, but it should be the last time for a while."

"I don't care. It's nice to see you happy."

I grinned and packed up my desk before heading out. I hated coming in to clutter. It was one of the main reasons I had worked so hard to clear my desk. Amanda had done her best to do what she could while I was out, but I was still playing catch up, especially seeing as I had been taking long lunches almost every day.

I got home in ten minutes flat. I hated that he was leaving and didn't want to waste a second with him. I wasn't going to lie. I had gotten used to having him in my bed, snuggling with me after we'd made love. His warm contoured chest against my bare back, his large perfect hand on my stomach, the other arm under my head holding me close as his body curved around mine.

As soon as I reached the door, I moved to fling it open so I could get to him, but I was stopped abruptly when the chain clanged against the wood loudly. The impact sent me stumbling a couple of paces backwards.

"Shit!"

I heard the chain move against the door as it was opened. The door cracked open a little and Jasper stepped into the hall with his perfect grin in place. He was up to something.

"Sorry baby, you okay?" He asked. His hands cupped my cheek as his warm lips brushed against mine.

"Why was the chain on the door?"

"It's a surprise, now close your eyes."

"What?"

"Close. Your. Eyes." He chuckled. I could see a slight sparkle behind his eyes.

"Fine." I slid my eyes closed and held my hand out in front of me, hoping he would take it. I couldn't fight the smile that spread across my lips as I felt his warm hand close around my own.

I trusted him fully as he guided me forward. Having my vision cut off was odd, but I could feel him close to me, I could smell him all around me, and his simple hand holding sent shivers down my spine.

I heard the light click of the door as he pushed it closed behind me. I could smell food, I just wasn't sure what it was.

"Baby, open your eyes."

I let my eyes flicker open slowly. Before me, laid out on a soft throw blanket in front of my formerly unused fireplace, a picnic was spread out on the floor. There were two plates of lobster with rice and vegetables, as well as my favorite crab cakes and a bottle of white wine.

"Jasper."

"I didn't want you to forget me," he whispered into my ear.

Like that was even a possibility. I turned on the spot and fell into his arms, my hands rubbing up and down his back as I buried my face into his chest. He had absolutely no idea how much I hated that he had to leave, that if I could I would beg him not to leave. That wasn't me though. I could never ask him to sacrifice his dream for me. I just had to be here waiting for him when he came home.

"Ali."

I swallowed the threatening tears. He'd seen me cry enough for a lifetime.

"You romantic," I grinned, pulling my head back and looking up at him. "I had no idea."

"Well, I figured I would wine and dine you before I left."

"Oh good, I know just what I want for desert," I purred. Stepping away from him and lowering myself to the ground.

The corner of his lips curled up into a smirk. He sank down beside me, his lips brushing against mine as he settled.

"We'll see, you have to be a good girl and eat all of your food first."

"That's a good idea, I have just the way to work off all the calories after."

Jasper's eyebrows raised, a look of hunger passed across his eyes; and it so obviously wasn't the lobster. He pulled me into his lap and pressed his lips against mine, his tongue brushing against my bottom lip. I parted my lips, allowing him entrance, his warm wet tongue slid into my mouth flicking against mine.

The food went ignored as our kiss deepened. Jasper's hands pulled me closer, my body was twisted against his. What had really added fuel to my fire was the thought behind all of this. He'd done this for me. He was leaving and he wanted to make it better for me, easier for me. What a selfless man.

We broke away for air, our chests heaving, dragging in the oxygen that surrounded us.

"Eat," he chuckled. His lips brushing against my forehead.

He'd gone through all of this trouble for me, the least I could do was eat. Even though I would much rather be doing something else. Staying in his lap, I swung around to face the little spread he'd arranged for us. It was beautiful. He'd gone as far as to make each plate up perfectly, my plate had an orchid perched on the edge.

I shuffled out of his lap so he could eat too. I ate slowly, just watching him and drinking him in. I wanted as much of him committed to my memory as I could. I hated that he had to leave so soon after our declaration. I hated that I hated it. I had grown so attached to him.

The only comforting thought was that he would come home to me. He had somewhere to come home to. He wouldn't have to travel as much because he wasn't dragged around by the wicked witch of the modeling world anymore.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" Jasper chuckled, running his finger along the small puckered line of skin between my brows.

"You, and how you now have somewhere to come home to, _someone_ to come home to."

Jasper took the plate from my hand and placed it on the coffee table he'd pulled out of the way to set up the picnic. He turned back to face me and pulled me against him. He lowered us both to the ground so I was laying in his arms, his eyes reflecting the flames.

"This is just as hard for me, Ali. I know it may seem selfish of me to go so soon, but-"

I cut him off with my lips against his, pulling back only when he'd stopped mumbling.

"You're not selfish, and I'm not complaining. I'm just going to miss the shit out of you." I ran my fingers down the side of his face with a smile. "I was looking at the bright side of things. You never saw your family because of _her_. Now you have a reason to come home at the end of a job. It's a comfort knowing that, no matter how far away you go, no matter how long you're gone, you will come home to me."

"You bet your ass I will," he grinned. "I don't think I could stay away."

"That's good to know."

He caught my hand in his as I brushed my fingers along his temple and along his hairline. His brought my palm to his lips, kissing it gently as his eyes slid closed. He moved slowly, placing his head where he'd kissed. Without a second thought, I moved my hand to his other cheek and guiding him closer to me so I could kiss him.

Our lips joined together, but there was no urgency to the kiss. Every ounce of love we felt for one another passed between us as we moved our lips together slowly. I memorized the satin feel of his lips against mine, the gently scratching of his day old stubble against my skin.

As the kiss simmered with a white hot passion, I let my hands wander over the contours of his shoulders. I let my fingers trace the deep ridges of his muscles. I continued down to the edge of his simple white t-shirt and fingered the hem. I curled my fingers around the material and slowly pulled it up over his back.

Sensing exactly what I wanted, he pulled away letting me work the shirt over his head and discard it, before reclaiming my lips with his. We were moving painfully slow, but it was everything we needed. It was an act of love, we were memorizing the touches.

Jasper put all of his weight on one arm as his free hand worked the buttons of my simple white shirt through the eyelets. Our lips moved together with the same heat and steady motion as he worked. Jasper pushed the last button through and pulled away from me slowly. The look he gave me made my stomach clench tightly inside of me. He wanted me, he didn't need words to convey that either. Like most things between us, it was easy to read.

The fire popped loudly beside us, but I ignored it, waiting for him to make his move. His hand pushed the fabric of my shirt over my shoulders. He moved slowly, subtly, working the material from my body completely, leaving it as a pile of useless material beneath me. With a slow easy movement, he laid his ear above my heart and listened contentedly.

I ran my fingers through his hair as he listened. His lips occasionally kissed the skin before he continued his vigil with my beating heart. I lay content below him, my breaths coming in short needy bursts as his hands ran across the plains of my stomach.

"I love you, Ali."

"I love you too, Jazz."

With our declaration came the kisses. His lips, so warm and soft, brushed against the visible skin above my bra. I groaned at the sensation. I needed it, I needed to remember him in every way before he left. My fingers continued their gripping and releasing of his hair, while my body reacted to him, just like it always did.

My hardened nipples ached against the soft cotton of the bra as he continued to kiss around the material. My breathing became more labored as he came closer with each pass of his lips. He was torturing me with pleasure, slow boiling euphoric pleasure.

"Jasper," I moaned his name, as his fingers slid under the material. He was so close now.

As his finger ventured further under the material, my back arched slowly from the ground beneath me. The mixed combination of his warm skin, silk lips, and the cool air made my nipples ache painfully. Still, his fingers continued on their path, pushing the material over the mound of my breast.

"You're so beautiful," he mumbled. The hot air brushed over my chest and sent a shiver down my spine.

He pushed the material under my breast taking the swollen nub between his lips. I sighed out a groan of pleasure, my hands fisting in his hair as the rapture coursed through me. My right leg swung over the backs of his legs, gripping him to me as his teeth bit down on the sensitive taut skin.

As my back arched towards him, his hands took a slow course around to my back. In one loose flick, Jasper unhooked my bra. His hot hands worked up my back to my shoulders, pushing the straps down my arms towards my hands that were still wrapped in his hair.

I loosened my grip, letting him pull away and dispose of the material beside us. My body shook as the cold air hit the aroused peaks of my nipples. I wasn't cold, it just seemed to add a painful pleasure to the experience.

Jasper's fingers spread out, across my skin as his head lowered towards the neglected flesh on my chest. Flicking out his tongue, he circled the hardened tip before digging his teeth into the flesh.

Being completely in tune with the others body seemed to be a constant state between us. It didn't matter where we were or what we were doing, we seemed to know what would trigger the other. I could sit in a restaurant and smile a certain way, and he would drag me somewhere and tease me until I begged for more.

I would say we were like a couple of teenagers, but I never had this, not ever. I couldn't even imagine ever wanting this with anybody else. I could never say the words aloud, not yet at least, but Jasper was all I ever wanted. The way he made me feel. The way he worked my body. He made me whole.

He moved up my body again so his lips were once again crushed against mine. His hands palmed my breasts, squeezing and releasing as his tongue ghosted across my bottom lip. I parted my lips, wrapping them around his bottom lip and sucking gently as his fingers now traced along my hairline.

This was going to be harder than I thought it would be. How would I live with out him? Live without this level of intensity while he was gone?

"Baby, stop thinking about it," Jasper pleaded. His blue eyes imploring me to lose myself to him again.

With a turn of my head, I pulled his index finger in between my lips and sucked, moving my lips down the long smooth digit until I could go no further. I had to lose myself to the moment, let go and trust in him, like he trusted in me.

I let my hand cover his hard member and squeezed gently.

He groaned.

I sighed around his finger.

I knew I'd achieved my purpose when his erection twitched against my hand.

"I can't ever seem to get enough of you." His voice was heavy, gritty. The passion we were both feeling seemed to reflect in the gravelly sound. We couldn't get enough of one another, as satisfying as he was, I always wanted more, I always wanted to feel as good as I felt when I was with him.

He pulled his finger slowly from my mouth, and his soft lips came down against my own. Oh how I was going to miss this man. My hand, still molded against his length, moved to the button at the waistband of his jeans. I popped the button soundly before sliding the zipper down slowly.

Commando, nice.

"You forget something this morning?" I whispered around his lips. My tongue running the length of his bottom lip slowly.

"I wasn't aware you could deliberately forget something," he said. Pulling away to look into my eyes.

"Presumptuous, but I like it."

My hand slid inside the v created by the opening of his jeans. A small moan spilled from his mouth, and his eyes slid closed as my fingers danced along the silky smooth underside of his shaft. I kept my touch feather like as I moved down and up, circling the head gently. I felt the small damp bead on the tip and smiled, we were always so ready for one another.

With my free hand, I tried to work the denim away from his body. My body was tingling with excitement, alive with the electricity that passed between us. I worked his jeans down over his perfect ass and pushed against him, lifting my body from the ground for leverage.

In one simple movement, Jasper rolled from my body to the ground. My hands moved to his shoulder as he pulled me with him. As our bodies settled, I situated myself, pulling up my skirt a little, so I was straddling his muscular stomach. The new position made it easier to work the denim down his thighs.

His legs kicked as he worked them the rest of the way by himself.

I couldn't stop the small moan from escaping my lips as his hands gripped my thighs. My skirt was sitting tightly across my lap, the rest of the material, was bunched up around my waist. The tight hem dug into my thighs as Jasper's fingers slid beneath the fabric.

I reached around behind me, my hand gripping his length firmly. My thumb brushed over the head with delicate circles before I ran my hand down the shaft and came back up again.

"Oh shit," Jasper hissed. His hands tightening around the flesh he was gripping.

My hand continued it's journey up and down his shaft as Jasper's pushed at the fabric of my skirt. His hands eased the material over my ass before sliding back around my hips to the apex of my thighs.

Jasper groaned again, murmuring something incoherent as his fingers traced the hem of my panties to between my thighs. His fingers ventured under the material, painfully slowly, as though he were doing it for the first time, exploring every part of me.

I could feel the tightening in my abdomen, I could feel the dampness seeping into the cotton of my underwear. I anticipated his next move as I continued stroking his length. Jasper's fingers ran along my folds in one soft sweeping motion. My back arched, my hips raised, his fingers slid slowly into me.

My body exploded into action, my heart pounded in my chest, a moan built deep inside of me as his thumb circled the nub of pleasure. I tried to calm my trembling body as I concentrated on the long fluid strokes of my hand on his member.

Control was no longer an option when he added a second digit, pumping gently in and out of me. His fingers curled within me, finding that spot that only he seemed to know how to find.

"Jasper."

I released him slowly, moving so I was supporting my weight with my hands on his thighs as my hips rolled against his fingers. He moved himself with a fluid roll of stomach muscles until he was sitting, his free arm wrapped around my back, supporting my weigh as he shifted me to his thighs while he continued his ministrations.

I couldn't even think, I was lost to my emotions. He brought me to the edge quickly, even with his slow, easy movements. His fingers pressed against me as the tension built inside of me.

"Oh God, Jasper." I rocked my hips deepening his fingers as I trembled. All of my muscles locked, my walls tightened around his fingers as I rode the wave.

His lips pushed against mine, still with the same slow passion that we'd been working with. I felt his body shift beneath me as he reached for something. Something I was sure was a condom but could have cared less about at this moment in time. I just wanted him to fill me.

I rolled onto my knees, my hands wrapped tightly around his neck, holding him to me as I sucked on his bottom lip. His hands ran up my sides, the pads of his thumbs rubbing along the sides of my breasts. I lowered myself slowly, until I felt him run along my slick folds.

My eyes slid closed as every part of my body ran with the electricity that always seemed to run between us. The excitement I always felt when we made love, the passion that was encompassed with my love for him.

"Open your eyes baby."

My eyes fluttered open and locked in with his as I lowered myself onto him. I fought the urge to slide them closed as he filled me deeply, the air rushed from my chest in a stutter as his forehead fell forward to meet mine.

"You feel so fucking good."

"Oh god Jasper, I love you."

"I love you too, baby."

The world seems to shake as his fingers gripped my hips tightly and lifted me slowly above his lap. The actions pulled me from my stupor and I took control, setting a slow and even pace as I rose up and slid down him. We both moaned and groaned as we took our time enjoying one another.

I'd never had a love making experience like this before. Every emotion we had was put into the slow, sensual movements of our bodies. We touched one another, sliding our hands over the others skin as sweat beaded on the surface. Trembles ran throughout my body with the level of intensity, my breaths were labored but controlled. Fire spread through my veins as I climbed the subtle incline to my release.

Every move was exaggerated and felt, the friction between us was white hot and more powerful than I had ever known it could be. My breasts slid against his chest as I held him to me and continued my steady pace. His fingers ran up my damp spine leaving a trail of fire in its wake.

"Oh god."

My head lulled back on my shoulders as pleasure flooded my body. Jasper's lips left hot wet kisses on my neck as we both increased our tempo with the impending release. Jasper's hands cupped my my face and brought my lips to his.

With the new contact between us, I felt my body tighten, the small sparks took off in my abdomen sending fire towards my tightening walls. I could feel Jasper throbbing inside of me and allowed myself to let go, screaming out his name as the waves of euphoria drowned me in ecstasy.

We collapsed against one another breathlessly. My head nuzzled against his damp neck as we fought to catch our breath. I didn't even know what to say to him. I had never experienced anything like it before in my life.

"Wow," Jasper breathed, his chest rising and falling as he pulled me closer to his body and fell to the ground. I was still tucked against him, his legs now tangled comfortably with my own.

"You ain't kidding," I sighed.

We laid that way for a little while, basking in the glow of what we'd just done. Mind blowing was a cake walk compared to what I had just experienced. I had never experienced anything like it, and I doubted I would again with anyone other than Jasper.

When we finally looked at the clock, we realized we'd spent almost two hours making love, and if we didn't make a move soon, he would miss his flight.

I dressed slowly, watching him pack his bag. I hadn't realized how many of his things were here. I had assumed he'd have to go home, but for the first time I realized, my closet was almost bursting at the seams holding all of his clothes as well as my own. His shoes lined the bottom of my shoe rack, his hats and caps, sat atop on of the shelves I'd never been able to reach.

It should have scared me, but it was comforting to me. Seeing him leave half of his things in my closet while he went out of town made me realize how real this all was and how much I wanted all of this.

"Move in with me," I blurted, not really thinking it through. After all was said and done I didn't need to.

"What?"

"Move into the condo with me when you get back. You spend most of your time here anyway."

Jasper stepped away from his suitcase and moved towards where I was perched on the dresser watching him. He stepped in between my legs, his hands cupping my neck and tilting back my head as his thumbs stroked my jaw line. He looked into my eyes.

"You're serious."

I smiled, all of a sudden feeling embarrassed. I let my teeth sink into my bottom lips as I waited for him to process what I'd just said. It didn't take long.

His lips crashed against mine, taking me by surprise. My hands gripped his waist so I wouldn't fall from my perch.

"I would like nothing more than to come home to you every night," he answered, as he pulled away with a smile.

"Really?"

"Yes really," he laughed.

Time seemed to pass entirely too quickly after that, before I knew it were were parking in the short term parking garage at the airport. I was so conflicted it hurt. I wanted to tell him not to go, I wanted to keep him with me, hide in the condo never to resurface. Yet, I wanted him to succeed, I wanted him to go out there and do what he loved doing and really make an impact.

Taking his suitcase with one hand, he scooped up my hand with the other, and walked towards the terminal. I couldn't say anything to him, I was too afraid the tears would flow too freely and I wasn't ready to let him see how torn I was about all of this. We'd just told one another we loved each other and it scared me to let him go so soon. He was everything to me.

How I'd gotten so deep so fast was beyond me. He was a force of nature, he'd come into my life and taken over everything. I felt like I'd known him for a lifetime, but the truth was we'd known each other for barely three months. I guess what people said about knowing when you meet the one was right, it just seemed to make sense.

"You're really quiet."

I looked up at him, biting back the tears that were threatening to spill over with ever step we took towards our parting.

"I know, it's just harder than I thought it would be," I confessed.

Jasper pulled us in line and stood his suitcase up, abandoning it to wrap both of his arms around me and pull me close. I buried my head in his chest and breathed him in as he comforted me.

"I know, Ali. It's hard for me too."

We stood clinging to one another shuffling forward with the line and ignore the stares we received from those around us. I could have cared less how it looked to anyone else. I was enjoying out last few minutes together, and not one of them would ruin that for me.

We parted only when it was Jasper's turn to approach the desk. He checked in and picked up his boarding pass, his luggage passed over the counter to the clerk. We walked over to the metal detectors that lead to the gates. My heart sunk in my chest, pounding against my ribs painfully.

I bit the inside of my cheek, in an attempt to steer the tears away. My hand fisted and released against his t-shirt as I let myself get lost in his sapphire eyes. Jasper's fingers moved over my face gently, one last scan as he memorized my face again.

"I love you," he whispered, leaning down to kiss the tip of my nose.

"I love you too, call me all the time."

"I will babe."

His lips crashed against mine, one last time.

"I'll call you as soon as I land."

I nodded, still gripping onto his shirt tightly. Jasper backed away slowly, but I couldn't will my fingers to let go of his shirt. My arm extended with the growing gap between us. Jasper's hand closed around mine, he looked up, his eyes meeting mine.

"Baby, don't cry."

My other hand ran across my cheek, wiping away the tears I hadn't realized had fallen. He stepped forward again and pulled me into him. His lips landing on top of my head with a little more force than he normally would. I knew I had to let him go, but I couldn't.

"I love you, I'll be home before you know it."

"I know, I love you too. Call me OK."

Jasper kissed me against the lips and stepped away again. This time, he pulled my fingers from his shirt and kissed my hand before backing towards security.

I wrapped my arms around myself and forced a smile to spread on my lips as I mouthed 'I love you'.

Jasper turned and walked towards the security check, strolling through with ease. He turned one last time to look at me. I waved and smiled the best smile I could.

He returned the smile and turned to walk away, disappearing into the crowd on the other side. I turned to walk to the car, letting myself break down.

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A/N: Poor Ali, she already misses him. Who wouldn't lets face it, it is Jasper we're talking about here. I know it seems pretty dramatic for a couple weeks apart, but it's the first time they've been separated since their relationship started. They've pretty much been infatuated since the beginning. If you head over to the Dryer Monster, you'll see Jasper's first thoughts too.**

**Also, for those of you who enjoy some good smut, the second installment of The Dryer Monster outtakes takes you inside of how Tanya ended up with a bun in the oven.....go read now!**

**Just a quick announcement. There is a pirate contest going on, if you head on over to my profile (Nostalgicmiss -link on goldentemptress' profile), I will have details up as soon as we start accepting stories. I also have a story called competitions. If you alert that it will be updated with any new competition.**

**I also have a new story, it's on it's second chapter and will be posted every Tuesday. It's called the Girl Under the Bed. Oh and don't forget goldentemptress' Brotherly Devotion.**

**Two more fics: Voice inside my Head, by miztrezboo, I have a guest pov chapter posted, it's an amazing story. Then one that hasn't been posted yet, but is amazing is bemylullaby's For Better, For Worse.**

**Thank you so much to all of you who review, seriously, you blow us away with your kind words. We love each and every one of you.**

**Till next time, I bid you adieu . . . Much love and big hugs - L -**


	33. Baby Making and Brunch

**Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight…..or an Aston Martin, sadly enough….**

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Baby Making and Brunch**

**BPOV**

When I woke up the next morning, I was surrounded by the warmth that was my husband. Edward and I were still lying naked, legs entwined, my back pressed tightly against his chest as his palms rested over my stomach. I could feel his warm breath on the back of my neck and his nose was buried in my hair.

I had missed being with him like that. The closeness, the intimacy we used to share. Over the past month that had all changed and I was happy that I finally had my husband back. It wasn't going to be easy, I knew that now, but as long as we attempted to remain open with each other it would work out.

I had hoped that he wouldn't revert back to his old behavior, but I had to try to maintain this sense of accomplishment that I had developed in working through my issues with my marriage. I never knew that it would be so much work, but in the moments that were like this, it all became worth it.

Over the last several months, we had both acted atrociously towards each other and I was a more than guilty party. They say that you take the things and people closest to you for granted and that definitely rang true for the both of us.

As I laid there thinking, studying the tiny sliver of light that was dancing on the carpet from in between the closed draperies, I felt Edward begin to stir behind me.

"Mmmm," he hummed as he encircled my waist and pulled me back into him. I could feel his morning erection pressed up against me as he brought one of his hands up to move the hair from my shoulder.

His lips were warm as he began to run light kisses along my skin, effectively waking up other parts of me. We had been apart much too long before last night, and I could tell that he was just as happy about our physical reunion as I was. I was especially excited because for the time being there would be no more worrying about finding protection, or ruining the moment.

Edward and I were going to make a child, and that made sex a whole different experience. The touching, the physical exploration and the love that we were sharing could lead to the creation of something greater than the both of us, and that was both frightening and exciting.

"I love you," he whispered as he trailed his finger-tips down my side to where my hips met my legs.

"Morning," I rasped out as his hands continued their circuit up and down my side.

We hadn't been like this for awhile. We had barely touched each other in the last month besides chaste kissing, and we hadn't woken up completely naked together since before the miscarriage.

As Edward's palms continued moving over my skin, I unconsciously ground myself back against him, earning myself a small moan.

It seemed as though he was taking his job seriously, and we were going to try again. I was a little sore from our activities last night, but that was normal for abstaining from sex for over a month.

The dampness between my legs was increasing as Edward's long fingers danced along my pelvis and dipped into the patch of soft curls between my legs. He probed my wetness with tentative strokes, causing me to press myself into him further.

"That feels so good," I murmured as one of his fingers began to circle my clit.

He pulled me back against him again as he slid his fingers down to my opening, teasing it before he dipped the tip of one of his fingers inside of me.

"You're so wet, baby," he moaned as he slid his finger inside of me before slowly drawing it back out.

Each movement was making me wetter, and I was fighting for breath as he began to slowly thrust his fingers in and out of me.

Usually, when we got to this stage of foreplay, we would just forgo the rest and jump right into the sex, but it seemed that Edward was on a mission.

While his hand continued to rock into me, sending tremors through my body each time he touched my clit with his palm, he moved his other arm to my breast and began to grip one firmly as he pressed himself against me.

I could feel the faint wetness of his excitement against my lower back. I slowly ran my hand up his thigh and along his side until I could reach him. He grunted as I ran my fingertips along his erection and his hands became more insistent.

"Oh god, just fuck me," I moaned as I felt the tell tale signs of my orgasm beginning.

"Come on baby, come for me," he groaned as I gripped him a little more firmly.

His breathing and hands sped up again as he curled his finger inside of me, seeking out my g-spot. It only took a few swipes of his fingertip to send me over the edge and I came on his hand moaning his name.

Before my muscles could relax, Edward withdrew his hand and flipped me over so he was hovering over me.

His eyes were dark with lust and I moaned again as I felt the tip of him caress my lower lips.

"God, I love you, Bella," he said, his voice low and gravely.

"I love you too," I panted as I felt the head of him slip inside of me.

I arched my chest against him as he moved his arms to either side of my head to support his weight as he pressed into me.

It felt so good as he slid inside of me, my muscles still tense from my orgasm.

"You are so tight," he grunted as he tilted his hips forward and thrust fully inside of me.

I could feel myself quivering around him as he slowly drew himself out, and I had forgotten how intense it could be if he drove me to an orgasm before we had sex. It had been years since we were both patient enough to let it get that far.

He leaned down to kiss me slowly as he thrust back in, parting my lips with his tongue and thrusting in time with our kiss. It started off slow and sensual, and soon we were both panting and grunting as Edward pressed me into the mattress.

The headboard was rocking against the wall as Edward continued to drive me towards another orgasm. I was arching against him and burying my face in his sweaty neck as we met each other's thrusts.

I was happy that we were in a hotel room, because Edward was most likely scratching the wall with the force in which the headboard was scraping against it.

"Oh god," I moaned as my hips locked and I arched my chest against his, my inner muscles clamping down on him as I came forcefully.

Edward wrapped one of his arms around my back and held me against him as he began to thrust inside of me wantonly. It felt so good to feel him bare while I was milking him with the force of my orgasm.

After several more firm thrusts he buried his face in my hair and groaned as I could feel him spill into me.

We both fell back to the bed panting, me half struggling to breathe as Edward's weight was pushing down on my chest.

Once he realized he was crushing me, he rolled over onto his back and pulled me into his side as he kissed me on the forehead. If the sex while we were trying to make a baby was going to be this intense, then I was looking forward to it.

"What do you want to do today?" I asked as I ran my fingertips along the hair running down Edward's chest.

"Can we do more of that?" he asked playfully as he reached over to cup my breast.

"Stop it," I giggled as I batted his hand away. We have sex twice after a month of abstinence and he was already insatiable.

"Are Em and Rose still here?" he asked as he twirled a lock of my hair around his finger.

"I think so, Esme reserved them a room. I think Jake and Nessie might still be here too."

"Hopefully not together," he grumbled as I pinched him.

"Would it be so bad if they were? She's an adult Edward and they did look happy together."

"I know. It's just that she's my baby cousin and Jake is so much older than her."

"You say that like he's an old man, he's younger than I am Edward."

He grunted at me, so I dropped the subject. It was obviously going to take some time for him to warm up to the idea of Jake being with his cousin. I was already on board, but only time would tell if it was going to work out.

"Do you want to go get brunch?" I asked as I peeked over him at the clock on the nightstand. It was just after ten in the morning, so hopefully we could still catch brunch in the hotel restaurant.

"I guess," he pouted as he pulled me against him tighter. "I was kind of hoping we could spend the next two hours in this bed before we have to go home."

"We do have a bed at home too," I laughed as I tried to sit up.

He growled and pulled me back against his chest as he peppered my face with kisses. I had missed this playful side of him.

After several minutes of rolling around in the bed together, he relented and let me up to take a shower. I was tempted to invite him in with me, but I knew that we would never get out of the hotel suite if he did. As much as I would like to, there was no way for us to live in this cocoon for much longer.

The warm water felt good as I washed off the sweat that I had managed to accumulate since last night.

It took me five minutes to condition my unruly hair into submission, and when I exited from the shower, I felt refreshed. It was as if a weight had been lifted since we had finally faced one of our problems, and it made me hopeful.

I knew that we still had things to work out in therapy, but it didn't seem to be as daunting of a task as it had once seemed. Hopefully, Kate wouldn't think we were rushing into things with trying for a baby. I was still a little wary, but it could take months, so as long as we continued to work through things it was alright.

When I walked back out into the room, Edward was on his cell phone with the sheets wrapped around his waist as he set on the edge of the bed. His hair was in a crazy disarray, but he still looked sexy.

I flipped open my overnight bag and pulled out a pair of jeans and a light blue scoop neck sweater. I figured if I paired it with the heels Ali and I had bought when we were dress shopping that it would be fancy enough to wear to brunch.

Edward was off the phone by the time I was dressed and he smiled widely as he beckoned for me to come over to him.

I stepped in between his legs as he brought his hands up to hold onto my hips.

"Who was on the phone?" I asked as I leaned forward to kiss his temple.

"Em. He was seeing if we left yet. We are meeting them in a half hour in the lobby. I guess Rose is itching to get back to Evan but they wanted to get something to eat first."

"Sounds good. Do you want me to call Nessie to see if she wants to join us?" I asked as I stepped away from the bed so he could stand up.

When the sheets fell, I gasped as I noticed that he was semi-hard again, I guess he really was extremely horny today.

"Hey," he said as he put his hands down to cover himself. "You didn't want to stay in bed with me anymore, so you don't get to play with him until we get home."

I narrowed my eyes at him as he laughed and headed towards the bathroom.

"You can call her if you want," he said as he yelped after I smacked him on the butt as he passed me.

As I heard the water turn on in the bathroom, I fished through my purse for my cell phone. I scrolled through until I got to Vanessa's number and hit send.

It rang several times before she picked up, and when she did she was giggling and panting into the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey Ness, it's Bella. Edward, my brother, my sister-in-law and I were going to get some brunch in the hotel restaurant downstairs. Would you like to join us?"

I could hear more giggling in the background, and something that sounded like a male voice. I wondered if she ended up spending the night with Jake.

"Um, Bella, normally I would love to," she said before she muffled the phone. I could hear her say 'stop it' and then she came back. "I am really needing to get into the office this afternoon, so I will have to take a rain check."

"Alright," I said as I tried not to laugh. I could hear her squeal into the phone before she hung up and I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing.

Yeah, she was getting into the 'office' today alright.

I was tempted to call Jake to see if I could hear her in the background, but I figured he just wouldn't answer the phone if I called.

Edward took his time in the shower, and I cursed myself for suggesting getting out of the warm bed when he was strutting around with a towel slung low on his hips, drying his shaggy hair with another small one.

There were tiny water droplets sliding down his chest and back and I really wanted to lick them. Now that we were getting along and the sex embargo was lifted, I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to keep my hands off of him.

When Edward noticed me gawking at him as he dropped his towel to step into his boxer briefs, he just laughed at me and wiggled his eyebrows. Maybe I should have paraded around the room in my towel too.

Once we both finished getting ready, we packed up our bags and headed downstairs. I wished that would could have spent longer in the suite, but we both had to go back to work tomorrow. I was just counting down the days until I could get my cast replaced with a removable brace. It was really starting to get annoying.

Em and Rose were standing in the lobby waiting for us when we got off the elevators, so Edward turned in our room keys and checked our bags with the Bellman before we headed towards the The Georgian Restaurant.

Luckily, their dress code was a little more lax for breakfast dining, so we were able to get in. Em had called down with reservations for two the night before, but they were happy to seat us at a table for four.

The whole room was just as impressive as the rest of the Fairmont Olympic Hotel. There was an ornate deep green and gold carpet, and the tables were covered with gold tablecloths with brocade patterns on them. Several half walls with large planters perched upon them were scattered throughout the room as well as several ornate light fixtures. I could imagine that it would be a very intimate setting to eat dinner in.

"So, I'm taking it that you two kissed and made up," Emmett smirked as he held Rose's chair out for her.

"Um," I said as my face started to heat up. I wasn't exactly wanting to talk to my brother about my sex life.

"I will take that as a yes," he laughed as Edward helped me into my chair.

After everyone was seated, the waiter came to the table and offered everyone Mimosas. Before he could pour the champagne into my glass, I held my hand over the top.

"I would rather just have orange juice, thank you."

Edward squeezed my knee under the table as Rose and Em both shot us pointed glances.

"Again? Damn you're fast Eddie," Em bellowed as Rose slapped him on the arm.

"No Em, not again, but we are trying," I said as I brought my hand down to rest on top of Edward's. He smiled brightly at me and kissed me on the cheek as Rose giggled at us.

"Just remember to have fun," she said as she looked over at Emmett. "It doesn't always happen right away."

"Hey," Em said as he looked at Rose in shock. "My swimmers found their mark after two months, thank you very much."

"Ahhh, TMI Em. TMI," I squealed as Rose giggled at him and kissed him on the cheek.

I did not need to know any information about my brother's 'swimmers'. _Gross!_

"Okay, I think a subject change is in order," Edward said as he looked over towards Rose and Em who were making googly eyes at each other. "How has getting back to work been, Rose?"

"Well, I hate having to leave Evan more, but he seems to like spending time with my mom and the new nanny. It doesn't even seem to phase him when I leave. Claudia said he cried the first few days I left her with him before we found Anna, but now he is all smiles when I get home."

"Wow, that's great that he seems to be so easy going," I said as I looked over the menu. I was really looking forward to some Belgian Waffles.

"He must get it from his father," Em beamed proudly.

"Oh give me a break," Rose scoffed as she looked at her husband incredulously. "You cried like a baby when you had to leave him to go back to work after he was born."

Edward and I both laughed as Em looked at her in horror, but I already knew that Emmett was a complete softie. I only hoped that Edward would be that devoted with our child someday. As long as he remembered to make time with his work, he would make an amazing father.

Once Em had calmed down, the waiter came back over to take our orders. I ordered Belgian waffles with fresh peaches on top, Edward ordered Steak and Eggs Benedict, Em asked for a large stack of pancakes and a plate of bacon, and Rose ordered a two egg omlette with ham. She said that she needed to get the protein because breast feeding was making her lose weight.

I had to admit, she did look pretty good for someone who had a baby just over a month ago. Surprisingly enough, Edward wasn't disturbed by the turn in the conversation, and he even gave her the name of a nutritionist who worked in the pre-natal specialist group at the hospital. Leave it to my husband to turn a breast feeding conversation into a consultation.

Em seemed bored until they stopped talking about lactating, although he did look over at Rose's breasts curiously a few times. Why men were fascinated with our ability to produce milk was beyond me.

By the time the subject had changed, our food arrived, and the table became eerily quiet as we all dug in.

I was happy that there was no more awkwardness between Edward and Emmett over what had happened, and I could only hope that his reconciliation with my father would go over as easily. Charlie was happy that we decided to stay together, but he was still wary that Edward was eventually going to hurt me again. I told him that we were going to therapy and that seemed to appease him.

Renee didn't seem to hold a grudge against him, but she really never held one against anyone, so I wasn't surprised. She just asked when we were going to come visit her next. I didn't respond because I knew Edward hated visiting her.

"So," Rose said as she finished up her last bite of eggs. "When are you going to find out about your column? Have the big wigs said anything?"

"No, Suzanna hadn't heard anything yet, but I think maybe the issue after next it might be going in. I think with everything that happened she was afraid to overload me."

Edward's hand stilled as he looked over at me, but I smiled to try to reassure him.

The drama was over now, and we were happy, he was right; we shouldn't keep having to pay from our past mistakes. I just wanted to be over this and move forward.

"Well that's great," Rose said as she elbowed Em.

"Yeah great," he mumbled with his mouth full of bacon.

"I'm sure that after she hears about the success of the charity gala that she will put in a good word for you Bells," she said as she took a sip of her milk. "You and Alice pulled in some great PR for the magazine locally."

"I hope so. I would love to be able to write my own opinions about some of the books I review. It's really hard for me to stay impartial."

"I can imagine," Em laughed as he winked at me. "You always have been quite opinionated."

"Hey," I said as I frowned at him as Edward laughed to my side.

"Tell me about it," he mumbled as he tried to chew on his food.

"You aren't allowed to start either," I said pointing my finger at him.

He held his hands up in mock surrender as he smiled at me and Rose laughed at my reaction to the both of them.

"You can laugh all you want," I said turning towards Em. "I still have all those embarrassing photos from when you thought that Flock of Seagulls was cool in the 80s. I can share them with Rose if you really want me to."

Em looked at me in horror as Rose started laughing harder, gasping as she said. "Flock of Seagulls, seriously Em?"

I turned towards Edward who joined in the laughing and leaned towards him as I spoke in a semi-threatening voice. "And if you ever want to see me naked again, I would advise keeping your mouth shut."

His eyes widened as he clamped his mouth shut and I smiled at him and patted him on the shoulder. "Good boy."

After the laughter died, down the conversation for the rest of the meal returned to my adorable nephew, and Rose pulled out the most recent photos for Edward and I to look at. I hadn't seen him in a few weeks, and he was already starting to fill out. He was starting to get the chubby cherub cheeks that I remembered seeing in baby pictures of Em. You could really tell that he was his son, not that there was any doubt with the curls.

Once we had finished eating, we all decided that they should bring Evan over to our house the following Sunday for the afternoon. The guys could grill in the backyard and Rose and I could play with Evan.

It was getting easier to be around him, and I didn't want to miss out on anything. I could only hope that it would help me get more comfortable being around babies. I knew that it could take Edward and I months to get pregnant, but the thought of it was getting more exciting.

After retrieving our bags from the Bellman, Edward got the Aston Martin and we headed back home. For October, it was a really nice day, and luckily it hadn't rained.

So much had changed in the course of twenty four hours and I could only hope that it would stay relatively calm. I would be perfectly content to have no more drama in our lives for the time being.

"Edward?" I asked as we pulled onto the highway to head back towards our side of town.

"Yes?"

"Did you know that Tanya was pregnant?"

"She is?" he asked as he looked over at me in surprise.

"Yeah, Alice, Rose and I confronted her last night. I think she might be pregnant with James' baby."

"What?" Edward asked as he glanced over at me.

"James, Alice's ex. I saw them leave together that night that we went out to celebrate you guys passing your exams."

Edward cracked up laughing as I looked over towards him in confusion.

"Oh my god. I didn't know she had it in her," he laughed as he pounded on the steering wheel.

"What?"

"Well I would ask for a paternity test if I were him because she was screwing some med student in the showers before we left for the bar that night."

My eyes widened in surprise as I gaped at him. "Seriously? How do you even know that?"

"Yeah, let's just say she wasn't very quiet. And the poor guy was bragging about it to his friends in the cafeteria a few days later. I didn't even know that she even knew James."

"I don't think she does," I said softly. Talk about a screwed up situation. I think I actually felt sorry for her.

"That's sad," he said as we pulled into our neighborhood. "At least she will stop hitting on me now though; at least I hope she will."

"She still hits on you?" I asked as I looked over at him. I told him months ago that she was after him.

"Don't worry Bells, I would never ever do anything with her. I'm in love with you."

My heart warmed at his admission. I knew that he would never cheat, but it was still nice to be reassured every once in a while.

"Oh really?" I asked playfully as I ran my palm up his leg. "Are you interested in showing me exactly how in love with me you are?"

As soon as he turned the car off in the garage, I bolted out of the car and ran towards the stairs.

Edward chased after me growling, catching me at the bottom of the stairs as Bailey ran around our feet barking.

"I love you Mrs. Cullen," he said as he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me on the neck. "You are the only woman I ever want to love."

"Are you trying to get into my pants with your sweet talking, Mr. Cullen?"

"Is it working?" he laughed as he continued to run kisses along the exposed skin of my neck.

"Maybe, I guess you will just have to take me upstairs and find out."

He stepped back, scooped me up into his arms before he ran up the stairs and deposited me in the middle of our bed with a little bounce.

I laughed as he stalked towards me, pulling his shirt up over his head. He looked like a man possessed. Apparently, the idea of impregnating me was like an aphrodisiac.

Once his shirt was off and he had taken off his shoes and socks, he reached down to pull off my heels before he climbed onto the bed to hover over me.

"Hey," I said shyly as he nudged my knees apart and settled himself between my legs. I could feel that he was already hard through the denim of our jeans and I was getting excited as he stared down at me.

"So how would you like me to show you?" he asked as he raised one eyebrow and licked his lower lip.

"Um….a kiss," I stammered as my heart began to pound in my chest.

"Where would you like it?" he whispered as he lowered his face closer to mine. Our noses were touching and I could feel his warm breath fan out across my cheeks as he waited.

I closed my eyes, brought my finger up to my neck and pointed to where it met my shoulder.

"Here," I whispered as I felt his nose skim along my cheek and down my jaw.

He placed a hot open-mouthed kiss on my neck, sucking lightly as he worked his way over to my collarbone.

"Where else?" he asked in a husky voice as his mouth hovered over my skin.

I pulled down the front of my sweater until the swell of my breast was exposed and pointed to where it spilled out over the cup of my bra.

"Here," I panted as he licked his way down toward my breast.

I moaned as he nipped at my exposed skin and I bucked my hips up towards him.

He chuckled at my enthusiasm and brought his hands down to the hem on my sweater.

"It might be easier to continue showing my love with this off," he said as he started to pull it upwards.

He peeled the sweater from me and tossed it behind him as he moved to straddle my legs. His fingers ghosted over my newly exposed skin causing goosebumps to appear on my chest and arms.

"Are you cold?" he asked with a small smirk on his face.

I shook my head as my chest heaved.

"Too bad, I could have warmed you up," he said, his amusement evident in his voice. My playful husband was back. He hadn't been like this in years, and I was enjoying every second of it.

There was something exhilarating about knowing that your marriage was not a complete failure, and that even though you may have gone through a rough patch that the spark was still there.

"You still could," I replied with a raised eyebrow.

"I guess you're right," he said as he moved to stand up from the side of the bed.

He unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them off before he moved to do the same to my own.

"I thought you were supposed to be warming me up not making me colder."

He chuckled at my comment and climbed back onto the bed after he pulled the covers out from under me.

His knee separated my legs again as he settled between them, and then he pulled the covers back up over the top of us.

"Better?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I guess," I said with an exaggerated sigh.

"So, where were we?" he asked as he brought his arms up to rest on either side of my head.

"I believe that you were showing me how much you loved me."

"Where next?"

I contemplated for a moment and then pointed to my lips. I was done with the playing. I just wanted him, preferably inside of me as quickly as possible.

His mouth descended on mine hungrily. He was sucking on my top lip, grinding his hips into me with the movement of his lips.

I could feel him harden through his boxers and I moaned into his mouth as I pressed back against him. I think that he could tell that while the game was flirtatious and fun, it was more than over.

Edward reached behind me and made quick work of my bra, tossing it to the floor before he scooted himself down and began to lick and suck at my nipples, his hands pinching and squeezing until I felt like I might explode.

"Oh god," I whimpered as he bit down on one of my nipples and ran his tongue flat against it. "Stop teasing."

I was panting and moaning and writhing against him as he continued his ministrations.

He slowly began to make his way down my torso under the covers until he reached the waistband of my panties. He licked along the edge of the lace and then grasped it in between his teeth and began to tug my panties down my legs. He brought both of his hands down to help him remove them, and then leaned back to remove his boxers.

His erection sprung free as the covers fell from his back and I gasped when he settled back in between my legs.

He teased my entrance with the tip of his cock and I bucked my hips up against him.

"Please," I begged as he slowly began to enter me, stretching me to fit him.

It didn't matter that we had sex a few hours ago, he was still too large for me to just accept him in one thrust.

He slowly worked himself inside of me, leaning back towards me to begin kissing along my neck and shoulders, one of his hands planted beside my head to support his weight.

I closed my eyes tightly and threw my head back against the pillows as he finally was able to push completely inside of me. I could feel him pulse inside of me as he drew himself back out and thrust back in.

We both moaned as he picked up the pace of his thrusting. Some people thought that the missionary position was boring, but I loved it, submitting to him, letting him be in complete control of my pleasure.

Edward leaned back slightly as he took my lips in a sensual kiss, his tongue seeking out mine as he continued to move inside of me.

I could feel the pressure building up inside of me as I pushed my hips up to meet his thrusts, our sweaty skin sliding and slapping against each other.

"Lean back," I moaned as Edward pushed himself up to his knees.

He began to thrust again as he moved his hands to my hips, pulling me against him roughly. The new angle was hitting me just right as I could feel my orgasm coming on.

"Come on baby, come on me," he growled as he set a relentless pace, slamming himself deep inside me.

He licked two of his fingers and brought them down to where we were joined, rubbing my clit roughly as my muscles began to clench.

"Oh god, right there, almost there," I panted as he continued to touch me while he thrust into me.

We were both frantically searching out our releases as I felt the warmth spread from my belly, my muscles clenching around him.

I let out a strangled moan as I arched up from the bed, all my muscles locking tightly around him. He groaned loudly as I came on him and he returned his hands to my hips, pulling me against him as he threw his head back.

I watched him as I came down, and I was wildly turned on by how much he was letting himself go. He was grunting as his eyes were squeezed closed tightly, interspersed with his panting breaths.

"Oh god, come in me," I moaned as I felt him harden inside of me. He was close, I could always tell when he was close.

He let out one last long moan as he gripped my hips and released inside of me, his face contorting beautifully with his orgasm.

Edward fell back against me panting as we both were reeling from what had happened. It started off playful and then just turned into a crazy fuck. It wasn't exactly what I had pictured when I thought of making a baby, but damn was it hot. Its not like it mattered, love making, crazy fucking, it was all us sharing our connection.

"That….was hot," I breathed out as he was raining kisses along the side of my neck, completely wrapped around me as he was still inside of me.

"Yes," he said in between kisses. "That is was."

I laughed as he brought his face up to kiss me. It was sweet and tender as he brought his sweaty palms up to frame my face.

"I love you, so much," he said quietly as he brushed the sweaty hair from my forehead and leaned down to peck my lips lightly.

"I love you, too," I responded as I ran my hands along the sweaty skin of his back.

We laid there for a few moments, kissing softly and touching each other lightly.

"Shower?" Edward asked as he leaned back to pull out of me.

"Yeah, I could probably use one," I said softly as I sat up once he stood up from the bed.

He leaned over, grabbed a few tissues from the night stand and handed them to me as he picked up our discarded clothing at the side of the bed.

That was one thing that I was going to miss about condoms; now I became the one with the mess to clean up. I guess it was something I could deal with if it meant holding my own child someday.

Edward held out his free hand to help me up from the bed. We walked quietly into the bathroom hand in hand and Edward dropped the laundry by the hamper before he started the shower.

Things had certainly changed in the last several months, and even though it was not always pleasant, it seemed to be getting better.

**

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A/N: Sorry for the delay boys and girls, RL was busy in the last few weeks. I was on vacation for a week with spotty internet connection and then had to deal with some personal stuff once we got back. I have just opened the doc for the next Bella chapter, so I am hoping to get it done soon. **

**L, being the awesome overachiever that she is, is already done with her next few chapters, so the next one should be up tomorrow. **

**No, we have not abandoned the story, but it is starting to wind down, there are only about ten chapters left after this one. Hopefully, we can get them along quickly.**

**For right now, until RL slows down a bit the outtakes will be coming out slowly. We will continue them over the summer, so make sure to go put the Dryer Monster on your story alerts so you can get updates.**

**Thank you all for your continued support and know that we love all of your feedback, good and bad.**

**Don't forget it's nomination time for the Bellies, so go nominate your favorite fics now! (Link on my profile)**


	34. Phones, Files and a Bathtub

_**Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong to the amazing Stephenie Meyer . . . MJP and my 100 Monkey memories all belong to me!!! And sweet mercy, Jackson is sooooo much hotter in RL!!!**_ _**And I thought he was hot before :D**_

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**Phones, Files and a Bathtub**

**APOV**

I think I cried all the way home from the airport. It wasn't the breaking up goodbye, but it was a goodbye I hadn't been ready for. I wasn't really the crying kind of girl, never had been, so it made this all the more unusual. Was this all a part of falling in love?

When I got back to my apartment I threw myself into cleaning the condo, and when I'd finished that, I started work on some of the things I'd brought home from work. I kept myself busy every second, right up to the point where I got into bed. I hadn't heard from Jasper since he'd left but I understood how these things went, and with the time difference I was sure he was already in bed. I fell asleep quickly, but waking up was hard. I gotten used to him curled around my body.

_You, your sex is on fire  
And you, your sex is on fire  
Consumed with what's to transpire  
And you, your sex is on fire  
Consumed with what's to transpire  
_  
I smiled at the ringtone blaring from my phone, and jumped out of bed, running across the room to pick it up. I had put it on the charger last night so it was still sitting on the dresser.

"Jasper."

"Morning babe. How'd you sleep?"

I smiled at the sound of his voice. It was almost comforting after the long night without him.

"Terribly," I laughed trying to lighten the mood. "You weren't in the bed to wear me out."

His easy laugh filled the line relaxing me completely. I unplugged the phone and moved back to lay on the bed.

"I know babe, sorry I didn't call you last night. The marketing people took us all out to dinner, I figured you'd be in bed early."

"I was, I knew you had to go through the whole process otherwise I would have called you. So how's everything going?"

"Pretty shitty, actually. I have good news and bad news." I didn't like the tone of his voice, it was a cross between frustration, anger and trepidation. "Good news first."

"I did get the job by my own merit. The marketing guys took the spread you put together straight to Mr. Lauren himself, and they apparently all agreed I would be great to face the campaign."

"That's awesome. So after news like that, what could possibly be bad news?"

"Don't get upset, there's nothing I could do about it."

Now he just sounded anxious.

"About what?"

"The other model I'm posing with, they're doing a unisex shoot."

My heart sank to the bottom of my stomach and seemed to sit there like a fifty pound weight as the realization dawned on me. My mouth went dry, my fingers gripped the phone tightly while my other fist balled in anger. Of all the models in the industry . . . "Maria."

"Believe me, no one is as disappointed than I am. I wanted to cancel and come home, but my manager said it would be a bad move. I would be black listed."

Why didn't that surprise me? She had to have known that he wouldn't want to work with her. She'd once again managed to put him in an impossible situation, effectively making him stuck between a rock and a hard place when it came to his career. I hated her, and this just seemed to add to my motivation of bringing her ass down.

"Alice, say something."

I swallowed my disappointment and anger. Jasper was mine. I loved and trusted him, and as much as I hated Maria, and had absolutely no trust in her whatsoever, I knew Jasper wouldn't put himself in that kind of a position with her. I had to stay strong and tough this out alone, complaining would only make him feel worse about the situation.

"There's nothing you can do Jazz. She's a manipulative bitch. Just stay on your toes and don't let her bait you into anything stupid."

"You're not mad?"

"Baby, I trust you. I may not trust her, but there's nothing either of us can do about it."

"Have I told you how much I love you?"

I grinned. "Not today."

"You have no idea, it's inexplicable."

"I love you too, and I miss you already," I sighed, picking at a tiny thread on the comforter. "But I'm so proud of you. Just go out there and kick every-body's ass."

"I will baby. I need to go get a shower. It's already nine here. I have to be on the set by ten thirty. I'll call you later. I just wanted to hear your voice, say good morning, and tell you what's going on."

"I love you."

"I love you more."

"Bullshit, get your happy ass in the shower."

"Loveyoubye."

I grinned at the phone as the line went dead. Now that I'd spoken to him I felt better, but the news about Maria being there left a sour taste in my mouth. I had seen her in action. I'd actually seen her in the act of fellatio! She was a manipulative bitch and I couldn't stand her.

I tapped my phone in my other hand the more frustrated I got. I couldn't let her screw with Jasper like this anymore.

Tap, tap, tap. As the phone hit the flesh of my hand, my mind started turning slowly. I stopped the incessant tapping and scrolled through my contacts.

"Alice?"

"Hey Shannon, do you have a minute?"

I wasn't sure why I did what I did. Yet somehow, I knew Shannon was the one that was going to come through for me. She wasn't working alone now either. Amanda was helping her. Talk about a waste of resources, but neither seemed to mind at all.

Apparently Amanda, during my stay in New York, had the displeasure of talking to Maria. It was the first I'd heard of it. According to Amanda, the message wasn't worth passing along. A warning, to stay away from Jasper.

I threw myself into my work, hoping that it would pass the time quickly. I was distracting myself so I wouldn't mull over the fact that he wasn't here, and he was within a hundred feet of that monster.

Thankfully, he called me several times a day. On his breaks, his lunch, when he got back to the hotel, before he went to bed. It made it easier, until I had to fall asleep, the bed still felt superfluously empty. I don't know how I had managed before I found him. Even with Jacob, he stuck to his side and I stuck to mine, and that was on the rare occasion he stayed.

By Wednesday afternoon, I was out of work to keep me occupied. Bella had dropped into my office and asked if I wanted to go to lunch. She'd been a godsend since Jasper had left. Her phone calls seemed to distract me from dwelling on his absence. She seemed to have a deep understanding of what I was going through. Even if it was ridiculous.

"Does it get any easier Bells?" We were sat at our usual table of our favorite restaurant, waiting for our food. I knew she understood what I was asking. She always picked up on the little things like that.

"I'm sure, it's just so new to you right now."

"I just hate that _she's_ there," I sighed, picking up my glass of water and taking a sip, "I mean, I trust _him_, I just don't trust _her_."

"That's understandable, Ali, it's completely normal to be nervous about that, especially Maria, she's not exactly the typical ex."

"Not helping."

"I'm sorry, but it's not exactly new information hun."

"I know, I just need to stop thinking about it so much." I groaned, rearranging my silverware. "How about you Bells? Anything new?"

"Did I tell you Edward and I have decided to try for a baby?"

"What? No! When?"

"The night of the ball, things were really tense for a while, but then he was there, in the elevator kissing me, and I wanted it, I wanted him. He went to get a condom but I stopped him. I finally knew what I wanted."

I felt like a terrible friend, I had be so self absorbed by my own life, that I hadn't taken the time to really understand what my best friend was going through. Granted, the conversations over the past few weeks had been difficult because of the therapy and their decision to not discuss it with anyone, but I could have been there.

I was finally starting to realize that this wouldn't hurt so much if I had obtained some balance.

Balance between having Jasper and my normal life.

Balance between Jasper and work.

"That's amazing Bells, I'm so sorry I have been so distant."

"It's totally understandable Alice. I know that I was the same way when Edward and I started dating. It sucks that I don't get to talk to you as much, but I understand. You are still in the honeymoon bubble."

"Yeah, but you've been going through so much lately. I just feel like I should be there more."

"You can't always be there to pull me through everything, Edward is my husband, he can help too. You have always been supportive of me, and now it is my turn for you. I am going to have to learn to share you with Jasper."

I couldn't stop the smile from breaking out across my face. I finally had a man that I loved with every inch of myself, and my best friend approved. I mean, Jasper was practically part of our extended family because he was Rosalie's step brother.

"So have you actively started trying?" I grinned.

"I guess. We have had sex every day since Saturday. I think Edward wants to make sure I am fully fertilized," she said laughing. "It's been different, knowing that we could be making a child. It's not just sex like usual, its really passionate. It's nice. I am sure that if it doesn't happen right away that will change, but for now, I'm enjoying it. He was already talking to me about basal body temperatures and ovulation tests though, so I have a feeling next month it will be all business."

"That's so exciting. At least having a doctor for a husband makes things a little easier. Things really have changed a lot in these three months haven't they? Rosalie and Emmett are parents, you and Edward seem to have a better understanding of one another, then there's me and Jasper." I smiled.

When I put it like that, three months really wasn't a long time to know someone. I knew things had transpired quickly, but was it too much too soon? Was I rushing into things?

"Do you think Jasper and I are moving too quickly?"

"Well, I will tell you this. After my first date with Edward I knew I was going to marry him. It didn't happen until a few years later, but the feelings were still there early on. I can't tell you to put a time line on things because its different for everyone, but if you really love him then I would just go for it. You have never acted like this about any other guy I have seen you date, I think what you have with Jasper is different. He looks at you like you are the only person in the room and you look at him like he hung the moon. It may be early, but as long as you two don't go running off to Vegas or beat Edward and I to a crib, then I think you are just fine."

"Thanks Bells," I grinned. "Now, tell me everything I have missed the last couple of weeks. Spare none of the gory details, I could feel the tension on Saturday night, but I just knew it wasn't the time or place to pull you aside."

I leaned my elbow on the table and rested my cheek in my hand.

"Now that I know it has a happy ending, it all seems to have worked out."

"Well, therapy for awhile was awkward. When I went by myself I felt like I got alot of things sorted out, but when Edward and I were with her together, I felt like we kept egging each other on. He would get so offended when I tried to be honest with him. Last week was the worst. She asked if we were ready to think about having kids and I said no while Edward said that _we_ were ready," she said sighing and taking a sip of her water. "He wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the week, just being nice and staying out of my way. I was so sick of it by Saturday that I blew up and picked a fight with him in the car. I told him I was scared to get pregnant again and then practically ran from the car. He was so angry with me and I kept trying to run away from him. Finally, by the end of the night, he apologized for overreacting to everything and as they say, the rest is history."

"He ignored you all week? Bella why didn't you call me? I know you must have needed someone to talk to."

I hated that I hadn't been there. She'd been through something so traumatic, and I had picked now to find a distraction in the form of one Jasper Whitlock. Poor Bella had suffered in silence with no one to talk to. I just wished she would have called me.

So I made myself a promise.

I would indeed learn to balance this. If Jasper was in my life for the long haul, and I knew that he was, I needed to make sure we were able to keep our life in some kind of normalcy. It actually made me feel a little better about him being gone. It was a little easier to deal with. Sure, he called me every chance he got, but that's just something couples did.

"I just wasn't in the mood to talk about it honestly. I felt so horrible for making him feel like that. Even though it sucked at the time, I think some time and distance was what I needed to think about it. Then I was just pissed he was acting like that when I picked the fight with him. It may not have been the most conventional way to do things, but it worked."

"I'm proud of you. You may stand up to everyone else in life, but Edward was always your weakness. I'm glad you are finally able to tell him how you feel about things. I was so worried about leaving you there alone when he finally came back. I know I've said it before, but I'm finally starting to see it was what needed to be done. Love was never the issue with you two, so I had no doubt things would finally work themselves out."

"Yeah, we are both stubborn. I can only imagine it has been entertaining for our therapist to watch over the past month."

"That bad?"

I could only imagine some of the things the two of them would have brought up.

"Not anymore," she said with a wink. "He just didn't like to hear some of the things I said to him. I think I upset his ego a little bit."

"Edward and a bruised ego, that doesn't sound fun at all." I laughed, I wanted to know more, but I  
was delving into the therapy territory. It wasn't my place to ask. "Well, at least it all worked out. Things have a habit of doing that lately."

"Thank god. I really wasn't prepared for the D word if therapy didn't work. When is Jasper coming home?"

"Next Thursday, I think. It all depends on how well the shoots go. I know he has it in the bag, but I've heard Maria's a bit of a diva on set. Hopefully it will be sooner rather than later."

Thinking about Maria made my stomach turn, I really did hate her with vehemence.

"So, changing the subject completely," I grinned, straightening in my seat, "How does Vanessa feel about Jake? I know she's Edward's cousin so you had to have spoken with her. I was talking to Jake at the ball and he's smitten. I'm just hoping it's reciprocated, I'd hate to see him hurt again."

"Well, I haven't had a chance to talk to Nessie about him specifically, but she seemed distracted when I called her room on Sunday to see if she wanted to come to brunch with Rose, Em, Edward and I. I talked to Esme the other day and she said they are dating now, so I am assuming her intentions are pure. She doesn't exactly look like the type to take advantage of him. I guess we are just going to have to corner him and find out," she said giggling.

"I'll call him later, see if I can't get the juicy details . . ." I though about that for a second, would he feel awkward talking to me about it? "I think he would be okay with that."

"If not, just three way me on the call and I will get it out of him. Jake finally has himself a real girlfriend, he is definitely sharing the details with us," she said while she rubbed her hands together enthusiastically. "Wow, you know what. There are actually eight of us now. Now you and Jake aren't extra wheels anymore. I guess we are all growing up after all."

I laughed at that, Bella and I had known each other for so long, I still thought of her as the fifteen year old I met in the high school cafeteria. Neither of us had really changed all that much. Sure, we looked older, and we had grown up lives, but I still saw the awkward wallflower with potential sat in front of me, and I was sure she saw the idealistic teenage cheerleader who had dreams of escaping her mother's complicated life.

"You know, even now I look back on the whole situation with Jacob, and I see how right you were. He was in love with the idea of me, not me in particular. I can see it every time he looks at Nessie. I can say with hand on heart that he never once looked at me like that. I thought it would be weird, but I can truly say that I'm happy. I'm happy that he may have found his happily ever after."

He was a great guy, and Nessie really seemed to be a sweet girl. She was lucky to have him, and I just hoped she would see that.

"I guess we will see. Hopefully there won't be anymore wedding bells ringing anytime soon, but who knows in the future," she said giving me a pointed look.

I laughed that one off. The rest of the lunch was spent talking about everything we'd missed in the last couple of weeks. It was nice catching up with my best friend again, knowing that she was once again on the right path and everything seemed to be going her way again.

When I got back to the office, I tried to find something to do. My epiphany at lunch had made me realize that I had to live my life the way I always had, make room for Jasper in the mix. Work was the most expendable item, but I now realized I wouldn't give up my girl time with my friends anymore. Bella and I had agreed to set up our weekly meetings again, and even make an effort to have more lunches together.

I knew once Jasper got back I would have to divide up my time. I enjoyed our lunches together, even when I ended up back at the office hungry.

I picked up some chinese food on my way home and pulled out one of my favorite movies. If I was going to have time alone, I may as well make the most of it.

I was curled up around one of the pillows watching Demi Moore self destruct in St. Elmo's fire when my cell phone rang. The tell tale ring tone left me smiling again. I paused the movie and answered the phone.

"I missed you today."

I smiled, I hadn't even had the chance to say a word. It was almost like a mirrored reaction of my emotions being channeled at me from the man I love. I missed him terribly.

"Hello to you too, handsome."

He chuckled down the line and I snuggled deeper into the pillow, trying to imagine it was his arms wrapped around me.

"I'm sorry, I've just been thinking about you all afternoon, and I needed to hear your voice."

"Everything ok?"

"Yeah, I was just thinking about our first conversation on the phone."

I knew exactly the one he was referring too. "Oh? Which one was that?"

"You."

"Mm Hmm."

"The phone."

I hummed my answer again.

"The bath."

"Ahh, the red wine."

"You were drinking red wine?"

"I'd spilled it trying to get to the phone," I giggled. I lowered my voice into a sexy purr before answering. "Why what were you thinking?"

"Well, I would like to recreate the scene and have things go the way I wanted them to that night." His voice took on the husky quality I adored when he was aroused.

"I think that might be fun Mr. Whitlock," I keep my voice sultry as I rolled from the bed and practically ran to the bathroom.

"There's no might be about it Miss Brandon, it will be fun. Just trust me and do what I tell you to."

"Yes sir."

"Are you in the bathroom?"

"I am."

"Turn on the water and let it fill up."

I heard the bathtub on his end of the line start running and my stomach flipped in excitement. We hadn't attempted the dual bathing thing yet, and this would be an exciting first time, even if his body wasn't there to play with. I turned on the faucet of my tub and made sure the stopper was in.

"What Next, Mr. Whitlock?"

The excitement bubbled inside of me. I didn't know what he was going to ask me next and it just seemed to turn me on further.

"What are you wearing?"

I looked down at myself, and my cheeks flushed. I'd been wearing his pj bottoms with an old spaghetti strapped shirt.

"Your Pj's and and my white shirt."

I heard him groan on the other end of the phone and laughed.

"Not sexy enough?"

"It's not that, the thought of you in anything of mine makes me so hard," his voice was gravelly with desire.

I swallowed as the familiar warmth spread throughout my body. It made my limbs tingle and my center throb with a dull ache.

"What do you want me to do Jazz?" I whispered. My heart pounding in my chest.

"Set the mood baby, candlelight, and play some Tin pan alley for me."

I did as he asked, bringing my iPod to dock in the small station I had bought for the bathroom. Jasper loved to sing in the shower, and his voice was so sexy, I made sure he'd do it every time he was in there. I scrolled through till I found one of our favorite playlists. Stevie was always first, the song wasn't particularly romantic, but the melody . . .

I lit the candles in the room and hit the lights, moving to stand in the middle of the bathroom. The ambiance was amazing. I didn't know how he'd known how this would be, but then, he never ceased to amaze me.

"Turn off the water Ali." I turned slowly and stalked towards the tub, and sure enough, the water was nearing the level it needed to be at.

"How do you do that?" I asked breathlessly.

"The hotel has a similar tub."

I rolled my eyes. I didn't care how he did it, it was sexy as hell.

"Now, put the phone on speaker, and put it on the edge of the tub."

I did as he asked, hearing the music, he groaned slightly. "I wish I was there so I could touch you."

"So do I," I sighed. placing the phone on the the flattest part of the tub where it would be safe.

"You do realize you made me even harder."

My tongue ran along my bottom lip as my chest rose and fell with my labored breaths. I could tell Jasper had put his phone on speaker, his voice echoed and I could hear the subtle movement of the water as he tested the temperature.

"Baby, I want you to run your hands over your stomach real slow, let them slide up until you pull your shirt off, tell me what you feel like."

I put my hand on my stomach and felt the muscles quiver under my touch.

"Talk to me Ali."

"It's warm, my muscles are trembling at the sound of your voice. The cotton is clinging to my skin and it's tight across my hand."

I heard Jasper growl and I let my eyes slide closed slowly.

"I'm letting my hands slide up my soft skin towards the valley of my breasts." My thumb gently ran along the underside of my breast and my breath stuttered at the touch, with my eyes closed all I could do was imagine him touching me. That my hand was his.

"The skins warmer under my breast, softer," I moved my hands up over the curve of my breast gasping as my fingers rubbed over my tightly erect nipple. "My nipples are so hard."

"Oh fuck, don't stop Ali."

I pinched the tightened skin between my fore finger an thumb and pinched gently. I could feel the dampness pooling between my thigh as I squeezed and twisted, trying to remember exactly how his lips had felt in their place.

"What are you doing?"

"Playing with my . . . nipples, imaging . . . your mouth."

I heard a gush of air from his end of the phone.

"Take off the shirt."

I took the hem in my hands and pulled it up over my head. My skin was so sensitive and on edge I felt every contact the cotton had with my skin.

"You're driving me insane, Jazz," I moaned as the material fell to the floor at my feet.

"Darlin' you have no idea."

I bit my lip and waited for my next instructions.

I heard a low grunt on the other end of the phone and almost lost it on the spot. His faint but heavy breathing was evident even over the quiet music coming from the iPod. Every part of my body tingled in pleasure, my muscles clenched throughout me as my thighs rubbed together desperate for friction.

I let my fingers ghost down my neck towards my breasts. I circled the nipple slowly and continued down until I was playing with the waist band on the pants. My fingers dipped under the elastic as my other hand rubbed gentle patterns across my chest.

"Alice."

I jumped hearing my name and let out a breathless laugh.

"I want you to work those pants down your legs slowly, letting you thumbs run down the inside of your legs, lightly and slowly, I'll do the talkin'."

My hands both met at the seam, fingering the material and waiting for him to start talking. My thumbs moved back and forth over the skin of my abdomen as I waited for his voice. I knew what his was doing, by the confirmation of his actions through his husky voice seemed to make it all the more exciting.

"My dick is so hard knowing your touching yourself, I have it in my hand, my fingers running slowly up and down the soft skin of the the underside, thinking about your tongue as it leaves a small damp trail up the shaft."

I groaned and moved my finger along the seam, out to my hips and back to the center twice before starting to work them down my legs, doing exactly as he told me to do.

"Every time I come to the head, my thumb swirls gently in circles just like your tongue does," he groaned a little louder this time making me whimper in agonizing pleasure. Knowing he wasn't there to finish me off was painful, but I also knew he would talk me through the rest bringing me to my much needed climax.

I wasn't sadistic enough to leave my underwear in place and have to go through the process again, so I hooked them under my thumbs as well, making sure to pay attention to the specific instructions he'd given me.

"Oh shit Alice, I miss your tongue baby. The way it cups the shaft as you slide my dick into your mouth."

I was amazed a how effective his plan seemed to be. His husky voice and dirty talk seemed to heighten the feeling of my own touch as I slid the last of my clothing to the ground.

He was still grunting lightly on the other end of the phone as I discarded the last of my clothes.

"I miss the taste of you," I whispered, my fingers drawing small symbols on the top of my thighs and dancing slowly towards my center.

"Step into the water, slide down, let the heat surround you like it's me."

My body shook lightly as I moved to step forward and into the water. The heat enveloped my skin as I lowered myself below the waterline. The water danced across my hypersensitive skin making my breath stutter as I settled against the back of the tub. I slid further down, letting the heat flow over my skin and warm me.

I could hear the faint movement of the water in Jasper's bath as he did the same thing.

"Touch yourself baby, let me hear your breathing, let me hear you moan."

I let one of my hands slide under the hot water and over my stomach to my thighs, while my other moved to my breast, my fingers circling the taut skin. I let my eyes slide closed an my fingertips teased the aroused skin, my other finger slipped in between my thighs and ran the length of now hot wet fold.

"Oh fuck Jasper, I wish you were here," I moaned as my finger ran over my clit. I circled in gentle easy motions and accepted the pleasure that ran through my body, letting it escape in small moans as I twisted and teased my body. I didn't let myself get completely lost just yet, I listened with intent for his movements and his groans.

"Oh, fuck."

I smiled as his pleasure came in short manly bursts of cussing. My fingers slid down towards my entrance as my thumb moved to keep the heated friction on my bundle of nerves. I slid my finger into my hot depths, curling it to the place Jasper seemed to find with ease.

"Oh Jasper."

"Slide . . . oh fuck." The motion of the water on his end picked up.

I tried to imagine him pleasuring himself like that, his long agile fingers curled around his shaft, moving up and down his length in long fluid motions. His thumb, circling the head with each pass. He groaned again. Only making my fingers pump in and out of myself quicker as the other squeezed my nipple with a roughness that only he could bring out in me.

"Jasper, oh fuck, Jasper."

"Keep," Grunt, "Saying," Breath, "My name."

"Jasper," I whispered his name as my hips rose in the water sending a small wave to roll around me. "I want you inside of me, I need you, I love . . . Jasper."

I heard him panting on the other end of the line as his fist hit the water in a perfect tempo. I pumped my fingers in and out of myself in the same rhythm I could hear on his end of the phone. I added another finger, pumping and curling as I imagine his face, as his hands created a heated friction against himself. His tempo raised, the damp slapping got louder, the splashing of the water in his tub made me raise my hips letting me push my finger further within me.

He was close, I could tell by his alternating groans and pants. I was closer, I could feel my walls tremble around my fingers as my thumb dug against the sensitive nub.

"Jasper, oh fuck Jasper," I moaned,my body writhing in the hot water.

"Alice, fuck . . . I," he growled, taking deep breaths. "Fuck, I love you, Alice."

I heard the slight squeak of his body as it went rigid against the tub, the squeak of his skin as it ran across the finish of the bath. I let myself go, my whole body trembling as my walls clamped down around my fingers. Fire spread through my body consuming the air in my lung, leaving me with on the ability to whimper in pleasure. My hips rose out of the water as the pleasure tightened every muscle inside of me.

I was panting heavily as my body fell back into the water with a defined splash. The water lapped at the edges of the bath, running along the sides with happy abandon, small waves crashing over the skin of my chest and it rose and fell in an attempt to gain as much air as possible.

"Alice?" Jasper's voice was tired and a little weak, but it made me smile.

"Mmm?"

"You okay?"

"Better," I sighed. Retracting my hand from between my thighs. "You?"

"Wonderful," he chuckled, his voice still gravelly.

We both sat in silence, just listening to one another breathe. It was nice, it was us. There were often moments between us were words weren't necessary. They sometimes seemed to clutter what the moment was about, our connection with one another was so strong, there was no need for verbal validation of how we felt, we just seemed to know one another.

"I love you, Ali."

"I love you too, Jazz."

"I hate to say goodbye babe, especially after this, but I have an early call in the morning. They want to catch the early morning mist in central park as the sun rises, which mean I have to be up at the but crack of dawn."

"I understand babe, call me anyway okay."

"It'll be 3am."

"Hmm, on second thoughts call me on your break." I giggled

"I will, I miss you."

"I miss you too babe."

"Bye, Ali, love you."

"Love you more."

"Bullshit."

The phone line went dead and I realized I was smiling. He always seemed to leave me with a smile on my face. It was refreshing.

I went to bed after I got out of the bath, I was exhausted after our little exploration into phone sex. I fell asleep immediately, his pillow tucked into my side as though it were him, I was sure there was a wide smile on my face.

As promised Jasper called me on his break, he'd gone back to his room to eat some breakfast as they waited for the next set up to be put together. He avoided the catering they provided because of the wicked witch. She was too lazy to even consider wander to far from the catering truck or the set.

Thankfully his hotel wasn't far from the park. He apologized profusely when he had to cut the call abruptly short, he was late getting back to the set. He had been looking for his shoes, wardrobe hadn't picked up the right pair and he'd decided to take the initiative and get his own. At which point he was running late.

That was the last time I heard from him.

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A/N: I know cliffhangers are evil so in association, I am evil!!! A huge thanks to Lottie, she knows why!!!

A Couple fics to Recc . . . as always; Voice Inside My Head by miztrezboo; it is my obsession!!! Nuff Said! For Better, For Worse, by bemylullaby, only the prologue is up, but take my word for it (I get special privileges) It's amazing!! Brotherly Devotion by goldentemptress, surely you have heard of suiteward? And one more, Changing Perspectives by Orioncat, it's raw, it's gritty, it's amazing!!

Oh don't forget the Pirate talking contest going on over at the fournication profile. There are details on my profile :)

Thanks for the alerts and faves and thanks to the Reviewers. We appreciate each of you so much for taking the time out to let us know what you think :)

On the decline to the ending,

_**keep you hands in the car at all times!!!**_


	35. Naked Saturdays and Baby Time

**Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight, but Socks is on the preliminary nominees list for the Indie Awards.....**

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Naked Saturdays and Baby Time**

**BPOV**

"Do you have to go into work tonight?" I asked as I lazily traced the hairs across Edward's chest.

"I know I was supposed to have tonight off, but Tanya has been really ill with her morning sickness this week. I would feel really bad if she threw up in a patient. I don't _want_ to go in, but we are all trying to chip in to help while she is out."

I hated that my husband was responsible for picking up the loose ends for her. I mean, I felt kind of sorry for the fact that she got knocked up by a man-whore, but she still had a job to do.

"What time do you have to leave?"

"Not for another six hours, so that leaves us, oh…..four hours to spend naked in this bed."

"I smiled against his chest and kissed him softly as he ran his palm down the exposed skin on my back."

I was really looking forward to the naked Saturday that I was promised earlier in the week, but I guess that naked Saturday morning would have to suffice.

As I began to kiss my way up to Edward's neck, his stomach growled loudly and I laughed lightly as he clasped his hand over his abdomen.

"I guess you will need food before we continue anything," I pouted as Edward sat up and reached over the side of the bed for his boxers.

"Well, I will need nutrients if you insist on keeping me prisoner in the bed, Bella."

I sat up as well, cradling the sheets over my bare chest as I shot him a dirty look.

"If I recall correctly, naked Saturday was _your_ idea. Something about making my fertility window count."

He chuckled as he walked over to my dresser and pulled open the third drawer down. He pulled out a pair of worn boxers - ones that had once been his in college - and a t-shirt and then threw them at me.

"Put on some clothes woman and then get your ass downstairs and make me breakfast."

I growled at him as he walked out the door, but I threw my clothing on and followed him down the stairs.

Bailey was curled up in the corner of the couch, sleeping, as usual, and she popped her head up and groaned as we passed by on our way into the kitchen.

"So if it's naked Saturday, then why are we wearing clothing?" Edward asked as he leaned into the fridge and pulled out the orange juice.

"Because bacon grease stings, and my lady parts do not need to be burned. Besides, you are the one that tossed me clothing."

He laughed at me as he reached over my head and into the cabinet where the glasses were, before he poured us each a glass of orange juice.

"So what did you have in mind?" I asked as I stepped around him and surveyed the contents of the refrigerator.

"Um….," he said tapping his chin. "French toast?"

I nodded and pulled out the eggs and milk, before I reached into the cabinet above the fridge and pulled out the vanilla, nutmeg and cinnamon.

Edward's breakfast specialty was making waffles, but I think that was just because he liked using the professional Belgian waffle iron that we had received as a wedding present.

If we had any other type of breakfast foods, I had to cook, because he burned things. For someone who was paid to cut people open and be good with his hands, it amazed me how sidetracked he could get in a kitchen.

As I mixed up the eggs and spices, Edward pulled down the bread from the pantry, along with the powdered sugar.

It was nice working in the kitchen together; he always seemed to anticipate what I needed. He was known to cook dinner every once and a while, but for the most part, he was just happy to help me cook.

I was happy that we had been able to settle back into our relationship so easily. The stress from the past several months had faded away, and we were _us_ again. The talking was easy, me talking about how caught up Alice had become in her new relationship, the information I had squeezed out of Jacob regarding his new relationship with Nessie, and Edward talked about the hospital gossip, including the name the daddy baby drama that Tanya had gotten herself into.

James had yet to reappear at Couture, and I had a feeling that she was getting antsy to hear from Alice. I still didn't know exactly why we volunteered to hook her up with baby daddy candidate B, but who was I to question Alice's motives. I had a feeling it stemmed from her desire to make James as uncomfortable as possible.

Alice had been a little off since Thursday. She hadn't heard from Jasper and was going through every worst case scenario possible. I knew that there had to be a reason for his being MIA, and I planned on asking Rose about it when I went to their house this afternoon.

We sat out on the back patio and ate our breakfast while we watched Bailey chasing birds. One day, she would be chasing our children around. That was enough to make me feel wistful.

"What's wrong, love?" Edward asked as he reached over to take my hand.

"Just thinking."

"About?"

"The future. What it will be like when we do have children."

He smiled as he brought my hand to his lips and placed a kiss on my fingers. "It'll happen, just give it time. Anyways, I'm not sure that we are done _trying_ yet."

"Oh really?" I asked as I quirked an eyebrow up at him.

"Yup," he chuckled. "Now get your ass in bed and you better be naked by the time I get up there or there will be consequences."

I jumped up and ran for the sliding glass door as he cleared the plates from the table.

He growled and smacked me on the ass playfully as I passed him, and I yelped before I sprinted in the door, pulling off my clothing once I was inside.

By the time I reached the stairs, I was struggling to pull my shorts off, and I could hear Edward closing the door to the dishwasher.

I ran up the stairs, only tripping over myself once as I tried to pull a sock off, and by the time I reached the bedroom door, I was only in my underwear.

I didn't hear Edward catch up with me, so when he plowed into me from behind, knocking me into the bed, I squealed loudly.

He was laughing uncontrollably at my unladylike noise, and tickling my sides as he pinned me to the mattress.

When his lips started to move along the side of my neck, and I felt a very _hard_ part of his anatomy pressing against my lower back through his boxer shorts, I moaned into the sheets.

"You like that?" he asked as he pressed his hardness into me again and moved his hands up to the sides of my breasts.

I grumbled into the sheets as he continued to tease me, and when his hand connected with the exposed skin on the back of my thigh, I shrieked again, causing him to press into me harder.

"I thought I told you to be naked," he growled in my ear as he spanked me again.

I whimpered against the sheets as he held me down and began to rub his palm along where his hand had connected with me. I honestly thought he was just joking when he said he was going to punish me, but damn, this was kinda hot.

Edward placed both of his hands on either side on my head and pushed himself up from the bed.

I heard the rustling of clothing, and then I was being rolled over as he pulled my panties down my legs.

He sat me up at the edge of the bed and knelt between my legs, his hips level with mine, his cock pointing directly to where I wanted it.

"God you're fucking hot," he growled as he pulled my hips to the very edge of the bed and leaned forward to take a nipple in his hot mouth.

I propped myself up with my arms stretched to the bed behind me and threw my head back as he continued to lick and suck at my chest. I squeezed my thighs against his hips as I tried to create any type of friction that would relieve the tension in between my legs.

"Oh god," I moaned as I felt him deliberately rub his hardened length against my lower lips. He was trying to drive me insane, and it was working.

"So wet," he growled as he thrust his hips forward and the tip of him slid into me.

I moaned as I clenched my eyes shut, waiting for him to move.

He grunted and thrust his hips again, sliding fully inside of me. He brought his hand to rest on the small of my back and began slow pulling out of me, only to thrust back in quickly.

I felt little jolts of pleasure run through my body each time he was buried inside of me to the hilt and I began moaning as he sped up the movements of his hips.

When Edward leaned forward and captured one of my nipples with his teeth, I cried out as my muscles began spasming around him.

Edward slid out of me and scooted me further up the bed as he climbed in and settled himself against the headboard.

"Come here," he commanded as he reached his hands out towards me.

I laced my fingers with his and climbed onto his lap, straddling his still hard cock.

As I slid down onto him, he threw his head back against the padding on the headboard and moaned.

I began to rock myself on his lap as he moved his hands to hold tightly onto my hips.

Setting a fast rhythm, I began bouncing on top of him, moaning loudly as I felt another orgasm approaching. He was so hard inside of me and the friction from rubbing up against his pelvis was mind-numbing.

Edward grabbed both of my butt cheeks in his hands and began to rock me faster on top of him as he thrust his hips up from the bed.

As I began to come around him again, he spanked me, causing me to bounce forcefully down on him.

"Oh god…..yes," I moaned as I finished coming for the second time, and my head dropped to Edward's shoulder as he continued to thrust up into me.

"Oh fuck," he groaned as I felt him pulse inside of me, and after a few more forceful thrusts he called out my name and came inside of me.

We sat there panting, our heads nestled together, as we came down from our highs, and I kissed all the exposed skin on the side of Edward's neck that I could reach.

He ran his hands along the skin on my back, taking in deep breaths as his face was buried in my hair.

"I think I need a nap," he sighed as he held onto my hips and began to slide himself down the bed.

I pulled myself off him and curled up into his side as we settled against the pillows. I absentmindedly nodded my head as his breathing began to even out.

Edward was right, naked Saturday really was fun……

***

"Wake up sleepyhead," a deep velvety voice cooed in my ear.

"Noooo," I whined as I rolled over and buried my head into the pillow next to my head.

I could hear a soft chuckling noise as Edward began to draw his fingers up my spine. I squirmed under his touch and groaned into the pillow before I rolled back over.

"You suck," I growled as I looked over to the side of the bed. Edward was already dressed for work, and I pouted as he knelt down beside me to kiss me on the forehead.

"No, love, I'm pretty sure that you are the one that sucks in this family."

I glared at him as I reached behind me to grab his pillow. I swung it over my head and hit him in the side of his as he erupted into full blown laughter.

"Yeah, well you are never gonna know if I suck again if you don't leave me alone," I growled.

"Come on Bells, you know Rose is expecting you."

"Ahhhh," I moaned as I pulled Edward's pillow over my face.

"You get to go play with your adorable little nephew," he taunted as I heard him stand back up and move towards the bathroom.

"Fine, fine, I'll get up."

"I love you," he said sweetly as I sat up on the edge of the bed.

"I love you, too," I replied as I stood up and made my trek to the bathroom, still naked.

"I think you should spend all your time at home naked," he said as he leaned over to kiss me on the cheek as I passed him.

"You just like my boobs."

"I'm not gonna lie."

He followed me into the bathroom as I stopped at the sink and tried to tame my hair. He reached over and started the shower as he stepped behind me and placed his hands on the countertop on either side of me.

"I'll probably be home late, but call me when you get back home and leave me a message."

I nodded as he leaned forward to kiss the side of my mouth.

He walked out of the bathroom and I pouted when I realized that he probably wasn't going to be home until tomorrow morning. I hated it when he worked all night, and I hoped that once he was a resident he could have a more stable schedule.

I pulled myself into the shower and washed myself before I attempted to tame my frightening hair. I hated that it always turned into a rat's nest, but there was really nothing I could do to stop it, short of chopping off all my hair. Not that the thought hadn't crossed my mind, but Edward loved my hair, so I could never do that.

Once I had tamed the 'nest' and gotten dressed, it was already after noon, and I hurried to finish getting things picked up around the house before I headed over to Rose's.

Em was supposedly out golfing all afternoon with friends from his firm, so I was sure that he was going to be gone until tonight. They always ended up only playing nine holes and skipping out to go drink in the clubhouse of the country club they all belonged to.

I was somewhat happy that Edward didn't have time to golf, because my brother would no doubt love to keep him away from me on the weekends to have another buddy to drink with.

Rose was once an avid golfer as well, but since Evan had come along, she spent her weekends elbow deep in baby fluids.

My phone buzzing from my nightstand alerted me to my tardiness, and I rushed over to answer it. I didn't even need to look at the caller ID to know who it was.

"I'm getting ready to walk out the door right now, Rose," I said as I jogged down the stairs and reached for my purse, balancing my phone on my shoulder with my cheek.

"I know, but I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you stop and pick up some diapers for me? Em was supposed to get them, but he keeps getting the toddler size instead. Please stop and get the infant size, but not the newborn size. Oh god, you are such a life saver Bells, thanks!"

She didn't even take a breath, and then hung up before I could even answer, but I guess I could just chalk that up to Rose being well, Rose.

The ride to the Target that was halfway between our houses was uneventful. The road was filled with the normal Saturday afternoon errand runs that were so common in the suburbs. Minivans holding soccer moms and their hyper little spawn, pickup trucks full of mulch, even though it was November.

I had never realized how much I actually _liked_ living outside of the city before. I had always considered living in the burbs as a housewife as a chore, but now that I was gainfully employed and happy again, I actually found myself being less disgruntled.

Maybe Alice's recent bouts with intense happiness were rubbing off on me. It was bizarre. I hadn't remembered feeling this happy since the week before my wedding. Although, tired was more a feeling I had during that time as well, Alice was working me to the bone with last minute preparations. I could only shudder to think about what a bridezilla she would be someday.

Wandering down the aisles at Target brought me back to the day several months ago when I had literally run into Jacob. A time when I was unhappy, before I got pregnant, before shit hit the fan in my marriage, back when I was still unaware of him and Alice, before Evan, before Jasper. My life had changed drastically in those few months, and luckily it was for the better.

I was overwhelmed by the selection of diapers that I found. I could totally understand now why my brother was incapable of picking out the right ones. There were boxes and bags of them all over the place. Ones with comfort tapes, ones with leak guards, there were even ones for swimming. I had no idea that there were this many types of diapers.

_And I thought buying the right kind of pads was hard…._

After reading through the descriptions, I finally found one for infants between ten and twenty pounds, and prayed that it was the right kind. I didn't think that Evan was much more than thirteen or fourteen pounds now, but I honestly had no idea.

I pulled the pack of diapers off the shelf and walked towards the end of the aisle, only to come into contact with something solid.

"We have to stop meeting like this Bells," Jacob laughed as he grabbed my arm to keep me from falling. "Although you didn't try to take me out with laundry detergent this time, so I should count myself lucky."

I heard a feminine laugh from behind him and raised an eyebrow in question. Jacob stepped to the side and revealed Nessie with a cart full of what looked like home decorating items.

"Re-decorating?" I asked, humor very evident in my voice.

"Well, uh," he said scratching the back of his neck as he reached over and place his hand on top of where Nessie's was resting on the cart handle. "She thought my condo was too sterile, so we are picking out some new stuff."

I smiled knowingly and nodded at him as I casually swung the bag of diapers from the little plastic handle on the top.

"Diapers?"

"Rose," I said simply and he nodded.

"I'm taking it she's got her hands full with the mini Em."

"Yup, the big Em is out golfing, and I am going over there to hang out since Edward is at work till tomorrow."

At mentioning Edward, Nessie smiled warmly and actually said something.

"Has he heard back about where they are matching him yet?"

"I don't know, honestly. He hasn't mentioned anything, but I think he will probably be placed somewhere in Seattle, at least we are hoping that he is."

She nodded thoughtfully and then looked up at Jacob who was watching her intently. I felt like I was intruding on a private moment. They had only been dating for a few weeks, but I could tell that it was serious from the looks they were giving each other.

"Well, I should probably get going. Rose is probably wandering where I am with the baby poop catchers…."

"Oh, yeah," Jacob said quickly, coming out of his Vanessa induced coma. "We should all go do something sometime."

"Yeah, I'll talk to Edward. I am sure that he would love to go out to dinner with you two."

We quickly said our goodbyes and I headed off towards the checkouts.

I briefly tried to call Alice to let her know about seeing them together, she was just as curious about Jacob's new relationship status as I was, but she wasn't answering her phone.

When I got to Rosalie and Emmett's house, I was surprised that Rose's BMW was not in the garage, well there was a BMW, but it wasn't the candy apple red convertible that had been there before.

Rose must have finally given in and bought a baby friendly car.

I pulled the diapers out of the trunk of the Volvo and headed for the front door, with the teddy bear I had bought months ago tucked under my arm. I had almost forgotten that he had been stowed in the trunk after everything went down at the hospital.

"Rose?" I called when I walked through the door in the garage that led into the kitchen.

"Up here," she called from somewhere upstairs. I could hear it echo through the grand entryway.

I dodged the various items of baby paraphernalia that had scattered themselves around the main floor and climbed to the top of the stairs.

I could only hope that when I had children I could keep my house this clean. Other than some scattered toys, and a little bouncy chair, the house was relatively clean….until……I stepped into the master bedroom.

The bed was haphazardly covered by a tangle of sheets and the comforter. Emmett's clothes were all over the floor inside of his closet, and Rose's closet look like a bomb went off inside of it. There were tissues and bottle parts along with some pump looking thing on one of the nightstands, and it smelled like my brother hadn't showered in a week.

"Rose?" I said quietly as I heard splashing coming from the master bathroom.

"Yeah Bells, in here, I'm giving him a bath," she said softly, her voice then dropping into a coo I could tell was not aimed at me. "Yes we are little man. You threw up nasty shit all over yourself and needed a bath. Yes you did."

I had never pegged Rose to by the type that would go for baby talk, but as I walked into the bathroom and witnessed her sitting on the edge of the whirlpool tub tugging on a tiny pale foot, I could tell she was under the spell of her son.

The bathroom counter looked scary as well, and when I looked at Rose I had to fight not to gasp. I had never seen her look less than perfect with the exception of when I was rushing her to the hospital when she went into labor.

Her blonde hair was thrown into a lopsided ponytail. She was wearing sweatpants with a UW logo up the leg that I didn't even know that she owned, and what looked like one of her maternity t-shirts.

Baby clothes covered in some chalky white substance were thrown on the floor at the foot of the tub and Evan was sitting in his little baby bath chair with a shit eating grin on his face. He had just recently begun smiling, and Em had talked my ear off on the phone about how cute it was.

"Um, can I help you with anything?" I asked as I shifted from foot to foot in the doorway, swinging the bag of diapers.

"Yeah, can you go to the nursery and drop those off. I also need a onesie and some pants for this little man. Anything short-sleeved will be fine. We boxed up all the larger clothes, so anything in the dresser is fair game."

"Ok, I'll be right back," I said practically sprinting from the master suite.

Evan's room was fairly clean, with the exception of a few plush toys on top of a blanket on the floor.

I put the bag of diapers up on the changing station and went about trying to find some clothes for Evan.

The top drawer was filled with extra linens and little tiny socks, so I grabbed a pair and moved to the next drawer.

I pulled out a little blue onesie that said 'Momma's Boy' and a pair of yellow knit pants with a duck patch on the hip. I knew that it didn't necessarily match, but at this point, the little guy just needed non baby gooed clothing.

When I got back to the master bath, Rose had him wrapped in a tiny yellow towel that had a duck head on it and was patting his back as he rested against her shoulder.

"Thanks Bells, just put them on the counter and I will get him dressed. You can go get something to drink from the kitchen if you want, I'll be down in a few minutes."

Rosalie being maternal was a sight to behold. I never would have pegged her for the doting motherly type, but underneath her hard as nails exterior, she really was a softie like Em.

I made my way back down to the kitchen, pulled a bottle of water out of it and settled into a stool at the breakfast bar. I hadn't been around their house much since he was born, but I knew that I needed to remedy that. It had hurt to look at him after the miscarriage, but I knew that I couldn't punish my nephew with my grief.

Other than the stupid black cast that was still on my wrist, there wasn't really a whole lot left that was tying me to that dark time a little over a month and and half ago, and for that I was happy.

I would always probably wonder about what it might have been like if I didn't lose the baby, but I knew that would go away with time.

"Hey," Rose said as she carried Evan into the kitchen, clad in his clean clothing. His tiny little feet now covered with little white socks.

_There is something about tiny little clothing that just made you want to go 'awww'._

She slowly handed Evan over to me, and settled a cloth over my shoulder as I cradled him against my chest.

"His tummy had been a little upset today, so he might throw up on you, be prepared."

I placed my hand on the back of his tiny head while cradling him to my shoulder with my other hand around his little bottom.

"You look tired, do you want to go take a shower or something?" I offered as Rose grabbed an apple out of a bowl on the kitchen island.

"I guess. I didn't really have time to shower before Em left this morning. Are you sure you don't mind watching him alone for a little while?"

"Nope, we'll be just fine. I'll take him into the den to watch TV with me."

"Ok, just let me know if he gets fussy, he will probably conk out anytime now."

I nodded as Rose swiftly turned from the kitchen and practically ran for the stairs.

_I could handle an infant for a half hour. No Problem._

***

A half hour later, Rose walked back down the stairs looking more like the Rose that I had spent time with over the past several years. Her hair was perfectly curled and she was wearing a pair of form fitting jeans with a tight long-sleeved red top on.

Evan was curled up against my chest sleeping soundly, and I was happy that he had only had one run in with the burping rag on my shoulder. He was fussy for like ten minutes, whimpering, but after I stood up and bounced him a little, he fell right asleep against my chest, his little hand holding my t-shirt tightly.

I was sure that I had probably gotten off easy as far as what he was capable of, but I was handling it without freaking out and that was all that mattered. I could handle a baby. Well, at least I hoped I could.

"Was he good for you?" she asked as she pulled her sleeping infant out of my arms and placed him into a little bassinet in the corner of the den. She covered him up with a blanket and then came to join me on the couch.

"He was fine, a little whiny, but he calmed down and fell asleep."

"Good, sometimes he is an angel, and sometimes I wonder why I even let your brother near me with his dick."

I snorted at her confession, and then shuddered, because I had no desire to think about my brother's dick.

_Eww._

"So, I know that you probably don't want to discuss how ridiculously smitten Alice is with your brother, but, do you know what is up with him?"

"What do you mean?"

"I guess that he has gone MIA. Alice hasn't heard from him in two days and is kind of freaking out. She thinks it has something to do with the she-bitch being a part of the shoot, but I think it's kinda strange he just all of a sudden stopped talking to her."

Rosalie grabbed her phone from the coffee table and punched out a text, I'm assuming to Jasper.

"I'll find out. That is kind of strange. I'll call Claudia and see if she knows anything."

Rose quietly called her step-mother and asked her if she knew where Jasper was. She didn't say anything about Alice, but she just said that she had been trying to get ahold of him.

"I don't know, she hasn't heard from him since Thursday either. She said she was going to contact his agent and see what's up with him. He is normally really good about keeping in contact with her since he is all over the place. She worries about him."

"I didn't mean to freak you guys out, I was just wandering if you had heard from him. Alice has the tendency to get a little dramatic at times. Hopefully Claudia can get ahold of him."

"Yeah," Rose said thoughtfully as Evan cried out from where he had been sleeping.

She went upstairs to change him and I texted Alice to let her know that Claudia was going to try to find out what was up with Jasper.

The whole thing was kind of strange, but I was sure that there was a perfectly logical explanation for it.

Rose and I spent the rest of the afternoon watching bad TV and gossiping about what had been going on in our lives. The Tanya baby daddy scandal had entertained her to no end. Although I think she secretly hoped that James had nothing to do with it. She had always despised James and tried to stay away from mentioning him as much as possible.

Somehow, I fell asleep on the couch after we ate pizza for dinner. Rose had already put Evan down for the night, and was curled up on the other end of the sofa.

***

"Bells, wake up," a deep voice pleaded in my ear as I was being lifted from the couch by two very large arms.

"Huh?" I mumbled as I looked up at my brother who was carrying me up the stairs towards the guest bedroom.

"Hey, you guys fell asleep. I'm just taking you to the guest bedroom. Do you need to be up early for anything?"

I shook my head as he lowered me to the bed and covered me up.

"Night Bells," he said as he kissed me on the forehead and pulled the covers over my shoulders.

"Night Em," I mumbled and then fell back asleep.

***

"Bella, you need to wake up."

I groaned and covered my head with my arm as I tried to block my eyes from the sun streaming through the curtains.

"Seriously Bells, I am not fucking around. Get up."

I shot up as Rose's tone of voice pulled me out of my sleep and looked over to see her eyes red and puffy.

"Oh god, what's wrong?" I asked as I pulled myself up beside where she was sitting beside my bed.

"It's Jazz. We need to go talk to Alice. Get dressed. I'll fill you in when we are in the car."

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A/N: I know, another cliffie, we are evil, but rest assured, the next APOV will go up tomorrow.**

**Hope you enjoyed some more baby making crazy sex with B/E and L loved Rose cooing curse words at Evan.**

**Leave us some love, and we will keep you updated on whether Socks moves to the next round of the Indies.....fingers crossed.**


	36. NO!

_**Disclaimer: All thing Twilight belong to the awesome Stephenie Meyer . . . I just have the images in my head . . . *giggle***_

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**NO!**

**APOV**

I was still sitting alone in my condo, the filth of two days surrounding me on our king sized bed. _Our _king sized bed, had I really fallen into such a deep pattern with him that everything here was his as well?

Of course it was; who was I kidding? He was part of me, he owned my heart, and I belonged to him in every sense, and I had invited him to move in with me. I couldn't understand what had happened between then and now. He'd been there all week, he had called me every day, four times a day until the calls stopped suddenly two days ago. What had changed?

I fell back onto the bed; the empty gallon of ice cream stared back at me with contempt. I kicked it off the bed with as much force as I could, but the rolling movements just made me continue until I was face down on the bed crying again.

I was a mess and I knew it. I had called in sick from work for the past two days, and since I had been inundated with calls from Amanda, Bella and Rosalie. I knew they were worried, I knew they cared, but I wanted to suffer in silence.

Just knowing that bitch was there with him made my skin crawl. I trusted him implicitly, it was her I didn't trust. I saw how manipulative she could be, and I had seen how low she would go to get what she wanted.

I just wished my plan was a little further along. Amanda and Shannon had been helping me as much as they could, and their patience and dedication had been invaluable. They had dug deep enough to make a real difference.

I couldn't even think about this now. I missed him too much. I missed his voice, his laugh, and the cool blue of his eyes as he told me he loved me, the deep blue as we made love. I missed the way he wrinkled his nose as he went through the financial section of the paper over breakfast.

It hadn't been so bad in the beginning, it seemed as though he'd called me every time I thought about him, and it took away the anxiety. He would call me on his breaks, and from his hotel. He would call me after dinner, or while he was lying in bed. He'd called me they day the calls had stopped, but it was to say good morning.

Somewhere in the room I heard Katy Perry singing at me, it was Bella again. I wanted more than anything to talk to her, she was my best friend and I knew that she would understand, but in an odd sense I knew I was overreacting. It had been two days.

To most people, two days was absolutely nothing, but this was different. This was two days from Jasper, the person who came to the office most days so he could have lunch with me, he would bring me dinner and sit with me if I needed to work late.

The room went silent again and I pulled Jasper's pillow under my head, burying my face in it's depths, just hoping that I could still smell the remnants of him. Stupid laundry day. I had washed the sheets the day before he stopped calling and now I was forced to walk to the closet to be surrounded by his familiar musk.

"Where are you baby?" I whispered into his Marc Jacob's Jacket. I pulled it around my shoulders, shoving my arms through the holes. I moved around to pick up my phone; still laying disregarded on the top an empty Chinese food carton. I had thrown it there after I got his voice mail . . . again.

I hugged my phone into my chest and fell on the bed, curling up in a ball under the weight of the winter coat. His scent assaulted me, making me feel a tiny bit better. It pushed back the anxiety enough so I could finally breathe.

Hall and Oates, "Man-eater" filled the room, and I sighed again, Rosalie. I had answered the first time she called thinking she'd heard from her brother, but she was calling on Bella's orders, trying to get me to come out for lunch with them, telling me everything I already knew . . . I was overreacting.

When the song stopped playing, I scrolled through my contacts and hit send when I reached the number for Jasper. It rang once before going to voicemail.

_"This is Jasper Whitlock, please leave your name and number and I will get back to you as soon as I get it."_ His voice was so familiar, I could have called a hundred more times just to hear it.

I knew Maria had requested the job, he knew it too, but had explained that it was his job. If he had to work with her to make a name for himself he would, that I shouldn't be worried because I was the one he was in love with.

I missed the passion and intensity we had together, I missed the ass slaps, the tickles, the lying together in bed on Sundays. Had it really only been a week since I had seen him, had he really called last only two days ago. I was talking like he had left the planet for a couple of light years.

"I Kissed a Girl" filled the silence again. For the first time it piqued my interest, Bella had only called five minutes ago, she normally waited a couple hours before trying again. I still didn't answer it, I wasn't in the mood for crying again, and I knew that talking to her would break me down again, because it would all spill out.

The tears may have stopped but it still didn't stop that creepy feeling that had plagued me for the last couple of days. The anxiety attacks had been worse that first day but I had hidden them well, now I let them flow freely. Pacing across the room, gnawing on my bottom lip, the shakes . . . That stupid light headed feeling as your heart speeds up for no reason.

I just hoped it was all pointless, that I was overreacting, but I couldn't stop the fear from eating at me again as soon as the thought settled. Could there be something wrong? If there was, how would I know?

My stomach flipped again as the reoccurring thoughts pushed me back into panic mode. After those questions always came the answers I didn't want to hear. How would I know if it did? How could I check on him?

I had called the hotel just as much as I had called his phone, but there was never answer in his room. It just seemed to solidify the fact that something was wrong, cementing it into my throbbing heart making the pain unbearable.

I had considered calling NYPD, calling hospitals in the area, but I was afraid of two things; they would confirm my fears, or leave me even more uncomfortable. I knew I would just end up doing it soon, I couldn't take much more of this. It was killing me a little more. Each tick of the clock seemed to drive the pain and desolation deeper into my heart.

I rubbed my face with my palms, I had to stop doing this to myself and either start calling places and people, or just wait, patiently. I couldn't do either though, I was so twisted up and confused.

What if . . .

I sat up and pulled my laptop onto my lap, I had been checking my email just as much as I had been checking my phone. I already had the numbers of the emergency services in New York pulled up along with every hospital in the vicinity. I also had the agency he worked for pulled up so I could call when I decided to stop being so melodramatic.

I minimized the screens quickly and typed in the website for the airlines. I would go to him, I would go to New York and sit outside his room if I had to. I just needed to know he was alright.

"Man-eater" filled the room, and I stared at my phone as my heart leapt into my throat, something was definitely wrong, Bella and Rosalie wouldn't call me this much if I was just being an over emotional idiot. The only problem was . . . my body was now frozen in fear.

How long had they been calling? How many times had they called?

"Alice?" Bella's voice rang through the condo, I had given her a key in case I locked myself out or something. I still couldn't move as the realization continued to dawn and formed a crater in my stomach. I felt sick, and dizzy, the anxiety was back tenfold.

"Alice!" Rosalie's voice . . . this wasn't good, she was trying to hide her emotions, I could hear it in her voice.

The bedroom door breezed open, but I was still staring into space, only aware of them moving from my peripheral vision. _Please be here to drag me to lunch, please._

Bella perched on the edge of the bed and picked up my hands in hers, she looked up to Rosalie with a frown, before turning my head so I could face her.

"Alice honey."

"Somethings wrong, isn't it?" I mumbled, it was loud in the quiet room.

"Ali."

"I knew it," I finally found the function for my eyes and looked into Bella's sad eyes, "I told you something was wrong, nothing felt right, he calls me, he always calls me."

I slid off the other side of the bed in a hurry, Jasper's too big coat still wrapped around me. I ran to the closet pulling clothes from the hangers and shoving them into a bag. the room behind me was silent but I could feel their eyes on me. I was shaking uncontrollably, the zippers on the bag giving it away, calling me out.

"Alice." Bella's hand slipped into mine as she pulled me from the closet across to the bed, and sat me down. She and Rosalie took a seat either side of me.

Tremors rocked my body, I had to keep moving, I couldn't sit here doing nothing. I sprung up off the bed again, I paced back and forth in front of them, trying to gain the strength to ask what happened. Trying to push the anxiety attack away so I could think. I shook out my hands as the tingle infiltrated them with that pins and needles feeling.

My head was throbbing, and my heart was pumping quickly in my chest. I stopped, turning to look at them as my body wobbled around me.

"What happened?"

Rosalie looked at Bella, Bella looked at Rosalie, then they turned to look at me. Rosalie was spokesperson, it made sense, she was his sister, she would have gotten the call. I didn't get a call, why hadn't I been told earlier, two fucking days ago.

"Alice, Jasper was in an accident . . . He . . . he was on his way back to the shoot and the cops think that the driver didn't see him . . . he was . . . hit. He's in a coma."

A coma, the word seeped into my bloodstream like acid, tearing through my veins as it fed it to my brain. My chest exploded, my legs went weak, before I could blink I was in my knees. One hand was on my stomach, the other on the floor.

I hadn't meant to release it, but a piercing sob hung in the air like a dense cloud as my body closed down around me. _No, not Jasper, not MY Jasper._ Then the bawling started, my body ached as it broke down with the pain of that word.

"No, no, no, no, no . . ." My voice was a strangled cry. I hurt, I really hurt, Jasper . . . God I wanted Jasper right now.

"Not him, not now, no," this couldn't be happening. "NO!"

Bella and Rosalie both had their arms around me as I wept freely. My heart cracked a little, the what if's began flooding my mind. I knew I couldn't live without him. I knew I didn't want to. I knew I need to get to him. I knew I needed to do _something_.

"I need to go to him," I whispered, sucking in the sobs. They formed in shakes now, my hands were balled, my fingernails dug into my palms keeping me in reality. I needed to get myself together and go to him.

"Rose, could you book me a flight as soon as humanly possible?" It wasn't a question, I was begging, "My credit card is in my purse."

"Sure Alice," she said with her voice full of sympathy.

"Bella, would you pack me some clothes? I need to take a shower, so I can get out of here."

I ran into the bathroom and turned on the shower, pulled towels from the shelf and brushed my teeth all at the same time. I threw the toothbrush in my toiletries bag as I dragged it from the towel closet. I stripped quickly and hopped into the shower without a second thought. I yelped, the water was all the way on hot.

Once I had adjusted the water I stood under the stream, dragging the shampoo through my now shoulder length hair, the hot water was doing nothing for my tensed muscles, and I was like a robot going through the motions.

I jumped out after the last of conditioner and soap had left my body. I pulled the brush through my hair and threw it into my overnight bag, then pulled it up in top of my head. My stomach turned again as the thought of Jasper alone ran through my mind. My hands grasped onto the counter and I crouched down into a ball willing the pain to subside. I didn't have time for my selfish reactions, Jasper needed me.

I ran into my room in my towel and pulled on the first clothes I could find. Rosalie and Bella were perched on the bed watching me with wide eyes as I double checked the bags for everything I would need.

"Your flight's in an hour. I have booked you into a hotel near the hospital, and Shannon and Shawn will be waiting for you at the airport," Bella said as she headed into the bathroom to pick up my toiletry bag.

She reappeared and stuffed it into the bag filled with my clothes and zipped it up. I turned around trying to remember if I had forgotten anything. I threw my phone and charger into my purse and made sure everything I needed was in there.

"Claudia's on a flight not long after yours and we'll come as soon as we can," Rosalie said quietly. For the first time I stopped and looked at her. She was just as terrified as I was.

I threw my arms around my two best friends and we took a moment to let our fear take over us.

"Come on, we need to get you to the airport," Bella sniffled.

I took a deep breath and held both of their hands in mine. "I promise I will call you as soon as I get there."

They both nodded, I looked around the room one last time before pulling my bags over my shoulder and heading towards the door. I picked up Jasper's coat as I passed the bed and slung it over my arm, six hours on a plane I would need something of his to calm me down, there was no pacing once the panic attack hit.

The elevator ride down was silent. I used it to gather myself together again, my emotions were off the scale and I could barely think straight, my only thought - and it had turned into a mantra - was _please be okay Jasper_. It played over and over, my leg tapped in time with it.

Bella piled us all into the Volvo and took off towards the airport. I just watched as the city flew by, not really focusing on anything in particular. I couldn't think of anything but Jasper and getting to him. I prayed for the first time in a long time, asking anyone who was listening to keep him safe.

The lump settled in my throat again making it hard to breathe. I couldn't cry again, not yet. I had to make sure he was alright first. I had to make sure he stayed with me. I couldn't say goodbye now. I wouldn't let him, I couldn't let him.

The longer we were in the car the more frustrated I became. I wanted to be there with him. I wanted to be by his side until he woke, and he would wake up, even if it was the last thing I did in life. I would see him wake up.

The thought of not seeing his gorgeous blue eyes full of that vibrancy almost crushed me again. This couldn't be happening, maybe it was a nightmare and I would wake up soon. I pinched my arm, no such luck.

Rosalie and Bella walked me to security and gave me a hug before I passed through. I knew they hated to leave me alone at a time like this, and I had spent five minutes assuring them it was fine. Alone was probably best anyway, I had to get all of the emotion out of my system before I saw him. I didn't want him to see me like this when he woke up. I was broken, torn apart with worry and fear.

I didn't have to wait long for the flight to board thankfully. I was pacing back and forth when they finally announced it, and I was sure any longer and I would have worn the carpet from where I was pacing

Sitting on the plane, I went back to our last conversation.

. . .

He had been running late, he had to get back to the set. I was giggling at him while he was cursing, running around the room trying to find what he needed for the afternoon.

"Calm down Jazz, you have plenty of time," I laughed. I was standing in front of the mirror in our bathroom, finishing the last of my make up. My cup of coffee sitting next to me. I took a sip, savoring the flavor.

"Ali, I can't be late for this. The bitch is just waiting for me to screw up so she can get me fired."

_The bitch_, was Maria's official new name, anyone that referred to her, referred to her as the bitch, and it had stuck. I hated that she still had a small hold over him when it came to his career. She dangled it in front of him, always threatening to take it away.

"She's not worth getting all worked up over baby. She does it to get back at you."

I finished dusting the bronzer across my forehead and threw the brush back in my make up bag before taking another sip of coffee. Jasper had put me on speaker and I could hear him rummaging through his suitcase.

"What are you looking for?"

"Kenneth Cole shoes."

"They're in the zipper part on the side. You moved them so you could fit your ridiculously large collection of belts into your bag."

He chuckled, "Have I told you I love you lately?"

I smiled and drank the last of my coffee so I could apply the lip gloss. "Mm, not enough though."

"Well, I love you, oh and I love you, oh and hey . . . "

"You love me, I get it," I giggled, "I love you too captain sarcasm."

I heard him shuffling around a little more, before the phone was picked back up.

"I hate to cut it short babe."

"It's fine. Go have fun. Don't let the bitch bother you, and call me later."

"I will, love you gorgeous."

"Love you too."

. . .

How the hell had I not known that something was wrong. The recap of the conversation in my mind showed just how in love we are, and I was thinking little miss slut had penetrated that somehow. Sure we'd had mind blowing phone sex the night before, but my first thought had been it had created an itch she'd offered to scratch. How the hell could I have been so blind?

Easily, I was blind to who he was, how pure and loving he was. I was still hung up on my past, on my mother's use of men, with no regard for them or how they felt. I had tried with everything I was to get away from her, to get away from her frame of mind, but here I was, placing blame on the man I loved as he lay in a hospital bed with God only knows what wrong with him.

The plane became silent as the duration began to shorten, but I held myself in a tight little ball weeping, willing the plane to move faster so I could see him, so I could tell him how sorry I was. He may not have known about my suspicious nature, but I did, I knew, and I never wanted to hide anything from him again, however inconsequential it was.

Screw being balanced, I just wanted him back. I wanted him awake, his easy smile and sapphire eyes burning into my soul. I wanted the playful banter we always shared. I wanted him, and selfishly I needed him.

A flight attendant tried to console me, but it was hopeless. All I could see was the last time I saw him, making love in front of the fire before kissing him goodbye at the airport. Why did this happen? Why him? Hadn't he been through enough shit?

My fingers interlaced with the loose strands of my hair as I held my head down so I could smother the sobs that continued to flow into my knees. I had too much time to think, I didn't want to think anymore. I wanted to be there. I wanted to be beside him. I wanted to see him.

This hurt too much, it was like a part of myself being torn from me. My heart was heavy and my breaths painful. Was is supposed to be like this? Was I supposed to hurt knowing that he was hurt?

By the time the plane started to descend I was a mess all over again. My eyes hurt from the constant stream of tears leaking from them. My body was trembling and aching my hair was greasy from my tugging on it.

I didn't care, not about any of it. I just wanted to get the fuck off of this plane and get to the hospital. I needed to see him. I needed to know what was wrong, what I could do to help. I just needed to be there.

The captain came over the loud speaker and announced our arrival and all the other bullshit pilots spouted at this point, but I was up out of my seat, dragging down the bag that Bella had packed for me. The stewardess approached me with a look, but backed off as soon I as I glared at her. I knew my body language screamed 'just fucking try it'.

I took off down the aisle while the plane was still being hooked up to the exit ramp.

"Ma'am, you have to go back to your seat." There was a male steward stood by the door.

I shook my head defiantly.

"You have to wait until the aircraft is stationary before we can open the doors. If you don't comply, we'll get have to get the air marshalls . . ."

I sat down in an empty seat in the front row, I didn't have time to mess with him.

"I sat, can you open the fucking door now?"

The elderly woman next to me looked at me with a small measure of shock. I felt terrible, but I was getting irritated. The steward looked frustrated and my foot bounced quickly in front of me.

"Come on."

"Are you in _that_ much of a hurry, Ma'am?"

I stood up, but the look he gave me made me sit down again.

"You bet your fucking ass I am, not that it's any of your god damn business. What? Are you purposefully not opening the door now just to irritate me?"

"We have procedures."

"Shove your procedures up your fucking ass." I sucked in a breath, trying to control the inevitable sobs. "My boyfriend," sob "accident" sob, "coma."

I had everyone's attention at this point and the remorse on the face of the steward was genuine. He picked up a small radio and told whoever was on the other end to move their asses and get the plane docked. The elderly woman next to me handed the napkin from her last drink.

I just wanted to get off the fucking plane.

The quiet whoosh of the door opening had me out of my seat, and no one said a word as I launched myself through it and through the ramp that had connected us. I sprinted through the building towards the exit, ignoring everyone and everything that stood in my way.

I broke through the door and almost ran into the small crowd waiting for the new arrivals.

"Alice."

Hands pulled me into a tight embrace, and I recognized the face immediately. Shannon. I was so in need of a familiar face it brought on a new wave of tears, forcing them over the cusp of my bottom lid again.

"Come on, we have a car out front."

I nodded and let her guide me out of the building and climbed in the back of the black sedan, holding my bag tightly against my chest as though it were a lifeline. I gave the driver the hospital name and let my head fall against my bag.

"You look terrible."

"Thanks, I love you too," I mumbled. Wishing the car would move faster.

"Why don't we try and get you looking presentable?"

I shook my head and clutched my bag tighter to me.

"Okay." Shannon's voice was soothing and she gently swept my hair back from my face as she directed the driver to the quickest routes to get me to where I needed to go.

By the time he pulled up at the building, I already had the door open and moved to step out.

"I'll call Bella and Rosalie."

I nodded and ran towards the building as fast as my tennis shoes would carry me. I tried to find something indicating where he'd be, but there was nothing. Why hadn't I asked? I was taking gasps of breath as I looked around in confusion.

I approached the information desk, slamming into it as I used it to stop me.

"Where can I find Jasper Whitlock?"

The woman looked shocked but started typing on the computer.

"How do you spell that?"

FUCK!

"W.H.I.T.L.O.C.K."

She tapped away on her computer making me more agitated with every second. I couldn't wait anymore. I had to get to him.

"He's in I.C.U."

I took off running towards the elevators and smashed the button with an aggression I wasn't aware I possessed. By the time I got to the right floor and down the right corridor, I was noisily panting for breath. The nurses each gave me a death stare as I skidded to a halt in front of the desk.

"Jasper Whitlock."

"Ma'am."

"Please don't ma'am me, just show me where he is."

"Are you family?"

I was seriously about to hurt somebody with my bare hands.

"You must be, Alice?"

Every ounce of oxygen in my lungs spilled from me, my fingers dug into the counter. The doctor was staring at me cautiously as I nodded my head affirming his assumption.

"Would you like to come with me? Mrs. Whitlock-Hale called ahead and explained that you were family,"

Bless the woman for thinking ahead of time.

I followed him into a room with one bed sat in the center surrounded by machines. My heart dropped as I realized who was laying on the bed in the middle of it all.

Jasper.

He was pale, his lips a strange shade, a machine pumped breaths into him, moving his chest for him. A tube was forced down his throat, I.V's and cables came from every direction. Monitors beeped and blinked all around him.

Jasper.

Literally lifeless.

"Jesus, what happened?" I stepped towards the bed and picked up his hand in mine. Willing him to squeeze it and open his eyes and smile. Yet, there was nothing but the noise of the machine sucking in air for him, and it broke me.

"The car hit him at quite a high rate of speed. We're not entirely sure, there weren't many people around. We estimate the driver was going around thirty miles an hour on impact."

I fell to my knees by the side of the bed. Whimpering.

"He hit his head against the rise of the curb, which would account for the swelling in his brain. We estimate that there was bilateral damage to the Reticular formation of the midbrain. I'm afraid it's a waiting game. There was a substantial amount of pressure around his brain, pushing it against the skull. The neurologist wants to wait for a couple of days before running test, we believe he may stabilize with a couple of days."

"How long's he been here?" I crowed. "He's been missing for days."

"I believe he was brought in on," The doctor picked up the chart and flicked through some pages. "The EMT's brought him in on Thursday afternoon."

He'd been here alone for almost four days.

The pain in my chest was overwhelming, he'd been alone, all alone. I rested my head on the edge of the bed and just cried. I should have done more. I should have tried to find him. I should have flown up here three fucking days ago.

"I'll be around if you need me, try talking to him. Sometimes a familiar voice helps." The doctor squeezed my shoulder reassuringly before he left the room, leaving us alone.

I took deep breaths and picked up his hand in mine, letting my lips brush against the small amount of flesh that was left un-bandaged. Now that I looked closely, his leg was in a cast under the blankets, and the bruises covered most of the visible skin.

"Oh Jesus, Jasper, open your eyes please. Open your eyes and talk to me. I can't lose you now."

My blood ran cold through my body as I waited for a miracle to happen. He didn't even twitch.

"Please, baby, please," I was begging through my tears.

"I won't let you leave me, I won't. I love you, Jasper, please, open your eyes."

My voice broke and my shoulders shook with the magnitude of my sobs. Seeing him this lifeless and broken was eating away at me, clawing at my insides. He was so broken, so empty.

I stood up, pulling myself onto the bed and leaning over him, avoiding the tubes as best I could. I let my lips brush against his forehead. My tears dripped silently onto his skin as he lay completely undisturbed. I wiped the damp spots from his skin and leaned into his ear, my mouth only inches from his lobe.

"I love you, Jasper. Wake up for me, please, wake up, wake up, please."

Nothing.

I slid from the bed and pulled a chair over towards the bed, picking up his hand in mine again. I rested my head on the bed and looked up at him. The doctor said talking would help, so I talked. I told him everything I had been doing since I last saw him. How much of a mess I had left the apartment in because I was in such a rush to get to him. I told him my epiphanies, both of them.

I continued to talk until I woke up with a start.

"Sorry, I didn't want to disturb you, sweetheart, but you looked so uncomfortable, and you've been mumbling for hours."

My eyes focused on the woman in front of me and I launched myself into her arms. Another wave of tears taking control of me as she comforted me, shaking with her own sobs of desperation.

"He hasn't woken up. I've been talking to him, but nothing, not a flicker. I can't lose him, Claudia, I can't. I love him."

"I know, darlin', and he loves you too. You make him so happy."

"I'm sorry ladies, but there's only one visitor at a time in the I.C.U."

Claudia looked at her son and stepped towards the door.

I closed my eyes.

I couldn't be that selfish.

I wanted to be, but I couldn't.

He was her son.

"Claudia, you stay. I'll go find a coffee."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded, unable to speak. I knew the tears would flow freely. I couldn't be selfish, no matter how much I wanted to be. I watched as Claudia leaned over her son and kissed his forehead gently.

I couldn't stay to watch, even if I'd been allowed to. The sobs were building again within me. I needed some fresh air. It didn't matter how cold it was I needed something, anything. I needed to be able to breathe. I needed to clear my head. I needed Jasper.

I pulled out my phone and checked my messages as I stood outside in the freezing air of New York in November. I had calls from Bella and Rosalie, both were checking for updates, but I couldn't talk to them, not yet, so I texted them with an update before turning off my phone again and wrapping my arms around myself.

I'd had enough wandering around after an hour. I was desperate to get back. I hoped I'd given Claudia enough time. When the doors to the elevator slid open, I stepped out into the hall and headed towards the I.C.U.

I could see through the glass of the doors. There was more movement in there than there had been all day. Then I saw Claudia, screaming, and everything went black.

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A/N: Yes, I am evil, I know this and I know I am terrible with the cliffies! Hopefully though, the next chapters won't take as long to get to. *cough* E *cough***

**Thank you to all of you who reviewed, you guys truly are amazing and so inspiring :)**

**Note from GT: Don't worry, I already have 1/3 of the next chap done, I promise I wont take so long next time.........**


	37. Heartache and Loaded Weapons

**Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight, but do own 21 gallons of paint for my new house….**

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Heartache and Loaded Weapons**

**BPOV**

The ride back to Rose and Emmett's house from the airport was excruciatingly silent. I didn't know what to say to Rose, and I was still in shock from the whole situation.

I spent two days thinking Alice was just overreacting to Jasper's silence when he was lying in a hospital bed in a coma. I felt like a horrible friend. I should have supported her feelings. I just thought she was being paranoid.

I didn't know how Rose was so stoic about everything. It had been evident that she was crying this morning after she talked to Claudia, but she had barely shed a few tears since then. They weren't blood related, but Jasper and her were as close as most siblings.

"Hey," I said softly as I reached over to touch Rose's hand. She was staring out the passenger window with her head resting on the glass. "He'll be ok. I don't know how, but I know he'll do whatever he can to get back to you guys."

I didn't exactly know what the proper etiquette was to say to your sister-in-law when her step-brother was lying in a coma.

"I know. I keep telling myself he'll be fine, but we all wasted so much time. I was so mad at him after my wedding about how he just left all the time. I wish I would have told him I loved him more. I do Bella. I do love him. He is just as much my brother as Em is yours."

I nodded my head and tried to fight back tears as we pulled into the driveway of their home. Em was still asleep when we left this morning, and I had no idea if they would even be going to New York. I knew that Claudia was following Alice out, but Rose and Em had work. Rose had just come back from her maternity leave.

"Are you going to go out there?"

"I don't know. I really don't know, but I don't want to risk not getting the chance to say goodbye," she said as tears began rolling down her cheeks.

"Hey, don't think like that," I said as I leaned across the center console and pulled her head to my shoulder. I stroked her smooth hair and cried along with her as she broke down. "People come out of comas all the time. He might be a little beaten up, but you've gotta hope that he will be alright."

"I know," she mumbled into my shirt as I felt it wet with her tears.

"Let's go inside. You and Em need to figure out what you are going to do."

She nodded and we both go out of the car and headed inside.

Em was lying on his side in the middle of the living room with Evan on a blanket. He was poking his exposed belly and murmuring nonsense as we walked into the room.

"Hey guys," he said happily as he lifted Evan up and placed him against his chest. "Where'd you run off to so early this morning?"

Rose raised her head and Em's demeanor changed dramatically.

"Rose, baby, what's wrong?"

She took a deep breath and said, "Jasper's in a coma. We took Alice to the airport." You could tell that she was still kind of in shock about everything.

Emmett crossed the room and motioned for me to open my arms. He settled my nephew into them and moved over to pull Rose into his large chest.

"When do we leave?" he asked as he tried to quiet her crying.

"We don't have to go," she sobbed as she held onto his shirt.

"Baby, he's your brother, of course we are going. Go upstairs and pack a bag and I will call the airlines."

"But Evan is too little to fly with us."

Em looked over to me and I nodded my head. "I'll take him."

Rose's head snapped up from Em's chest and she looked at me like I had grown two heads.

"Are you sure?" she asked as Emmett pulled away from her to reach for one of the cordless phones.

"Yeah, I mean, I am already supposed to have tomorrow and Tuesday off to get my cast off. I can take him. You guys will only be gone a few days, hopefully. Edward and I can take care of him."

She began rattling off instructions, how he liked his bottle, what clothing he liked to play in, which toys he seemed to prefer. It was all a lot to take in, but I was sure that Edward and I could handle two or three days with an infant. Esme would come help me if I asked her to.

I followed Rose up the stairs to the nursery. She began throwing things into diaper bags and little suitcases for him, and she handed me the laminated Evan checklist that she made for the nanny. I was kind of scared that she had a baby bible she had laminated for her nanny, but Rose was always one to be prepared.

An hour later, Em was installing a baby carseat in the back of the Volvo while I rocked a sleeping infant in my arms, wondering how I ever got myself into this situation.

Rose and Emmett were flying out on the last plane to NY and they would get in practically in the middle of the night on the east coast.

We had yet to hear from Alice again, but she had more than enough to deal with. I wasn't expecting to hear from her this soon.

Rose and Emmett were going to return midday on Wednesday, so I only had to survive three days without managing to kill, maim or harm my nephew, and I was fairly confident in my abilities. I had babysat in middle school and high school, so I could only hope those experiences would help me.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, so I handed Evan to Rose before I flipped it open to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Hey babe, you never called last night to let me know that you were in. I am just getting ready to head home. Did you want to get Chinese tonight?"

"Um, something came up Edward," I said as I walked to the edge of the driveway, out of Rose's earshot.

"Ok, what's wrong Bells?"

"Jasper is in the hospital. He got hit by a car. He's in a coma. Rose and Em are flying out tonight. We put Alice on a plane this morning. It doesn't look good."

"Oh wow. That's terrible. Do they know what his condition is? Does he have any kind of brain hemorraging?"

"No Edward, we don't know much, but there is something else."

"Ok?"

"We are taking Evan till Wednesday."

Edward was silent for a few moments and then immediately went into crisis management mode.

"Alright, I'll call my mom. I think she still has my crib at home in storage. She can also come help you after you get your cast removed. They should put you in a brace, so that shouldn't be a problem. Do I need to get anything? I can stop at the store on the way home."

"Slow down. I have a portable bassinet thing we should be able to set up in our room. You can call your mom, but the crib isn't necessary. Rose has my trunk packed to the top with a stroller and baby stuff, so we should be alright. You can call your mom about watching him when I get my cast off, but I think everything is under control. Are you sure you are alright with this?"

"Of course, I guess its never too early to get practice. I can probably move my shifts around to help you if you want me to."

"No, don't worry about doing that. I am sure that I can handle it." Somehow I had a feeling those were going to be my famous last words, but right now backing out wasn't an option. Rose and Emmett needed to go see Jasper. I could set aside my fears and take care of my nephew.

Edward told me that he was going to call his mother on the way home from the hospital and I was going to meet him there as soon as Emmett finished installing the carseat and they said their goodbyes to their son.

When I walked back over to Rose, she had tears in her eyes and I put my arm around her and rubbed her back while she clung to her son.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, no, I don't know. I want to go see if Jasper is alright, but this is the first time I am really leaving Evan. I know I probably sound sappy, but he's my baby."

I gave her a reassuring half smile and nodded my head. Her emotions were all over the place.

"It'll be fine. You will go to New York, Jasper will wake up, you will tease him about looking before he crosses the street and you will be back here with Evan in no time."

Personally, if I were her and Em was in a coma, I would be curled up in the fetal position bawling my eyes out, but Rose was strong. She may have softened with the birth of her son, but she was still one of the strongest people I knew.

"Alright ladies," Em announced rubbing his hands together. "We have now outfitted the Volvo with a baby safety device, and I didn't even need the directions."

Rose and I both laughed at his enthusiasm. Em was always one to keep you entertained in the middle of a crisis.

I went back inside and up to the guest room to grab my clothing from the day before while Em and Rose said their goodbyes to Evan.

When I came back downstairs, Evan was nestled into the back of my car safely sleeping in his carseat while Rose double-checked the contents of the bags in my trunk.

"Ok, so I have included enough clothing for five days, just incase he is messy. There are diapers and a pad for you to use. When you set up the pack and play there is a changing station built into it, so you should be fine. The kitchen island works well for changing diapers too. Don't forget to look at the list and make sure that you get the pumped milk into the fridge when you get home. The bottle warmer has instructions if you need them. Make sure to check his bath water twice before you put him into it, and….."

"Breathe Rose," Emmett teased as he placed a hand on my shoulder. "You'll be fine. Everything you need to know is on the list. If you have any questions call us, I am sure that Esme can help you with anything else. Thank you for doing this, we will let you know once we know more details."

I nodded my head and hugged Emmett as Rosalie was still tucked underneath one of his arms.

"Have a safe flight. I will call you if I need anything. I am sure we will be alright. Go be with Jasper. I love you guys."

"We love you too Bells, thank you," Rose said as she hugged me fiercely and walked around to kiss Evan on the forehead before I left.

Their flight was in a few hours and they needed to get packed and headed to the airport.

Evan slept the entire drive home, and Edward was waiting at the door when I pulled into the garage.

"How are they?" he asked as he opened my door and offered me his hand.

"I don't know. Rose is really upset but trying to be strong about it. I think Em is just trying to keep her calm. I haven't heard from Alice and her phone is still turned off. I really hope he is alright."

Edward hugged me and kissed me on the forehead. "I love you, Bells. I don't tell you that enough. I know I don't know Jasper that well, but I am sure he will fight to get back to Alice."

"I hope so."

A small cry drew our attention back to the car, and I walked around to the back passenger seat and unbuckled Evan before I pulled him out. It was just about time to feed him, so I was sure he was just a little fussy.

He seemed to calm down once I had him in my arms, but he had his little brow furrowed and he was whimpering again.

I grabbed the cooler bag of bottles and headed inside while Edward walked around to the trunk and began to unload the multitude of baby paraphernalia. I never knew that babies came with so much gear, but I guess that was something I was going to have to look forward to.

In a week and a half, I would know whether or not our frequent attempts at procreation were successful, and I was kind of on the fence over whether I hoped to be pregnant right away. I knew that there was only like an eighteen percent chance that it would happen, but I was still a little wary.

The bottle warmer that Rosalie sent with me was surprisingly enough very easy to work. I had to admit it was a fairly easy process to get Evan ready for a feeding.

As I laid down on the couch and nestled him against my chest, his tiny hands were grabbing at my shirt and he was making suckling noises. I was sure that he was upset that he was going to have to use a bottle, but I wasn't exactly equipped to feed him otherwise.

It took him a few tries to get latched onto the nipple of the bottle, but he started letting out little grumbling noises as he greedily sucked on his bottle.

Edward made several trips upstairs with baby gear as I fed my nephew. He was so serious as he drank his dinner, and his little arms and legs were in constant motion. He was trying to tug on my hair as his little blue eyes stared up at me. He was still so expressive, and I knew that he was going to be a heartbreaker like his daddy someday.

"You are too adorable," I cooed as I cradled him against my chest. A year from now, this could be my child.

Edward came back downstairs after his last trip with a beaming smile on his face as he walked towards the couch.

"What?"

"You look natural doing that. It's nice," he said as he sat down beside me and put his arm on the back of the couch behind me. "You are going to be a wonderful mother." He kissed the side of my head and reached in to capture one of Evan's tiny little hands.

Evan wrapped his fingers around two of Edward's as he continued to finish his bottle. The three of us sat there in silence as Edward and I watched him.

Looking down on the tiny little boy in my arms I realized that I really did want this. I wanted to be pregnant. Before I was scared, but I was ready for a child. At twenty-six years old I was finally ready to be a mother. I was never more happy that I agreed that we should try to conceive.

"Do you want a boy or a girl?" Edward asked quietly as Evan sucked down the rest of his bottle.

"I'm not sure, maybe a boy. You?"

"I know it sounds weird, but I think I would want a little girl. She would be beautiful like her mother."

I smiled up at him and blushed at his compliment. Several months ago, I would have thought he was just blowing smoke up my ass to get something, but now I could genuinely see the love he had for me in his eyes.

I still felt horrible for the way that we had been treating each other, and I knew that a child would not have solved our problems, so in a strange way, it was good that the miscarriage happened. It put everything back into perspective. I was madly in love with my husband again, and the animosity that was once there was gone.

When he came home, I was genuinely happy to see him. We didn't try to push each others buttons anymore, and most of all, we were more connected than we had been in years.

Evan's eyes groggily fluttered closed as he sucked on the remnants of his bottle, and I grabbed the burping cloth from the side of the couch to put on my shoulder. Rose warned me to burp him before he had the chance to fall asleep, because otherwise he would throw up in his crib.

As I positioned him up on my shoulder and began to pat his back, I could hear his labored breathing in my ear. It was so strange having such a tiny person on my shoulder.

When he let out a tiny little burst of air, I felt something wet on my neck and was thankful that it was on my skin and not all over my clothes.

I wiped the spit up from his mouth and my neck as I settled him into my arms.

Edward scooted closer and pulled my back against his chest as I nestled the tiny sleeping baby against my chest.

"He's so tiny," Edward said quietly in my ear, stroking his fingers down a little exposed foot.

"And this is after a month and a half."

"It's amazing to think that ours would probably be even smaller at this age. We can't all have giant children like your brother."

Edward had never really talked about children until recently. Our conversations in the past had mainly consisted of acknowledging the fact that he did want them, and that he wanted two or three. Beyond that, he never really talked about children much. I think that having a nephew was an adjustment to him.

His cousins lived on the other side of the country for most of his life, so Edward wasn't really exposed to other children outside of school when he was younger.

Even though we got passed back and forth across country, I couldn't imagine my life without Emmett. Even when I was younger, he always tried to include me in things. Having a sibling was never something I thought about, but seeing as Edward grew up alone, I didn't want to take it for granted anymore.

"Maybe after we put him to sleep in a few hours we can go try to make one of our own," Edward whispered in my ear before he kissed my neck.

I nodded and smiled when Evan's little hands tightened on my shirt as he slept.

I knew that I still needed to bathe him tonight before we put him down, but watching him sleep was so fascinating. I didn't realize that even unconscious his face was so expressive.

"I'm going to go order the take-out any requests?" he asked as he unwrapped his arms from around me and stood up from the couch.

"Get the egg rolls this time."

"Will do. Fried rice?"

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'll take that as a yes."

The Chinese food showed up twenty minutes later, and threw the house into chaos.

The only time that our dog, Bailey, ever barked was when the doorbell rang, and guess what, the delivery driver rang the bell. The bell ringing led to barking, the barking led to waking Evan up, and then Evan began wailing, which led to more barking, and more crying.

By the time Edward got Bailey to calm down and Evan stopped crying, my food was cold, and I was beginning to see why Rose seemed so tired all the time. Screaming babies were stressful.

"Is he alright?" Edward asked as he put my plate of sweet and sour chicken in the microwave to reheat it.

I had placed Evan in the bassinet on the pack and play after I had finally gotten him to stop crying.

"I think so. Man that kid has some lungs on him. Maybe he _should_ have been a junior."

"Well Rose is kind of loud too. I think it was kind of inevitable that their kid would be," Edward chuckled, and I laughed with him as he put my plate of food down in front of me at the kitchen island.

"This is true," I sighed. "I wonder if they have left yet. I still haven't heard from Alice. I am starting to get a little worried."

"I know you are," he said as he leaned towards me and kissed me on the cheek. "Don't worry, if it was bad we would have heard something by now. It's all just a waiting game when there are head injuries involved."

That is what I hated about this whole situation. My best friend was on the other side of the country heartbroken as the love of her life was unconscious in a hospital bed, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. I could call her, but there was no guarantee she would call back, and I wouldn't be able to get ahold of Em until tomorrow morning.

Edward leaned across the island when I was done and gently slid my plate out of the way before he cupped my face and placed a searing kiss on my lips. It made me wish that we didn't have a tiny little houseguest in our bedroom, but a small cry from the baby monitor reminded me that we did as his lips wandered down the column of my throat.

"Hold that thought," I whispered as Edward sighed and placed the dirty dishes into the dishwasher before putting the leftover Chinese food into the fridge.

When I reached the top of the stairs, Evan's cries resembled little whimpers and I wandered if he was missing his mommy. He hadn't really been separated from Rose much since he was born, and I was sure it was a major adjustment to have two people taking care of him who had limited interaction with babies.

"Oh you're alright my sweet little boy," I cooed as I slid my hands under his neck and bottom and lifted him out of his makeshift bed.

His whole body was tense and I hoped that his bath would calm him down a little.

As I went into our bathroom and began to fill the tub, Edward came in carrying his little bath seat, and I kissed him on the cheek as he laid it into the water.

"I figured you might want some help," he said as he placed a changing mat on the open expanse of bathroom counter in between the sinks.

I laid Evan down and carefully started pulling off his outfit, tickling his tiny little round belly while he cooed at me. I was happy he hadn't started wailing again like he had earlier.

When I pulled off his little pants, I felt a little wetness on his legs and realized that he would need to be cleaned off before his bath.

"Ut oh, looks like someone filled their diaper," I told him as I began to peel back the tape at the sides of it.

"I can do that if you want to get the water ready," Edward said as he put his hand on the small of my back.

"Have you ever cleaned up a baby's diaper before Edward?"

He rolled his eyes at me and scooted me out of the way as he reached down for the container of wipes in the diaper bag by the vanity.

"I am a surgeon. I think I can handle one poopy diaper."

I returned my attention to the getting Evan's bath ready as Edward let out a strangely girlish shriek and said, "Oh god, thanks buddy, that wasn't disgusting at all."

When I looked up, Edward was shaking his hands out in front of him and there was a very distinct trail of wetness down the front of his shirt.

_I guess he forgot to shield himself…..rule number one of changing a little boy's diaper._

I tried to control my laughter, but it was just too funny. "Nothing says I love my uncle Eddie like dousing him in pee, huh Evan?" I said as I held a cloth over his little weapon and lifted his feet into the air to pull out his dirty diaper.

"Thanks for warning me," Edward scoffed as he pulled off his shirt and threw it into the laundry hamper.

"Hey, you said you could handle it Mr. Cocky Surgeon."

Edward narrowed his eyes at me and pulled Evan's diaper out of my hands. I had already rolled it up and taped it, it just needed to be taken out to the trash.

"I'll be back," Edward muttered as he fled the room and I could hear him running down the stairs.

He returned a few minutes later, pulling on a new t-shirt as I checked the water with my elbow and then lowered Evan down into his bath seat, strapping him in.

I still found it kind of amusing that you had to strap him into the thing, but as I quickly learned, babies are slippery when wet.

After I had managed to get him all washed, I pulled him out as Edward draped a towel around his back.

I laid him down on the bed and dried him off as Edward pulled his jammies out.

Evan was out like a light once I put him back down in the bassinet, and he was sleeping peacefully as I pulled off my clothes and changed into my own pajamas.

Edward turned out the lights downstairs, slipped into bed wearing only his boxers and pulled me against his chest.

"Well we seemed to survive one evening with a minimal amount of crying," he whispered as he ran his fingers down the exposed skin of my arm. "It's still early. What did you want to do?"

Edward's tone was suggestive, but I didn't know how I felt about my husband sexing me up with my nephew in the room. It was a little bit creepy.

"He's asleep right over there," I whispered back as Edward leaned down to kiss my forehead.

"And your point is?" he asked as I raised an eyebrow at him. "He's asleep Bella, and its not like he will know what is going on."

"Stop it," I said as I smacked his bare chest, trying to ignore the fact that one of his hands had slipped under the edge of my panties.

"We could make one of our own right now," he mused as his long fingers crept along my folds.

I tried to bite back a moan as he gently rubbed my clit.

"Edward," I breathed. I meant it to be a warning, but it came out sounding more like an invitation.

"Yes, Bella?" Edward whispered as he leaned me onto my back and crawled on top of me under the covers. His fingers had dipped lower, teasing my entrance and I was losing all will to say no to him.

I whimpered as he slid a finger inside of me and tried to remain as quiet as possible.

"Tell me what you want, Bella," Edward whispered into my ear as he added a second finger, grinding his hardness against my thigh. "Do you want me to stop?"

I arched my back as he curled his fingers inward, massaging my inner walls as I writhed underneath him.

"No," I moaned softly as he leaned forward and slid his tongue into my open mouth.

Edward continued exploring me with his fingers until I reached down and grabbed ahold of him through his boxers. That seemed to spur him on and then my shorts and panties were being dragged down my legs as his mouth moved to my neck and the exposed skin above my tank top.

He wasted no time in leaning down to pull off his own underwear. When I tried to pull off my tank top, his hands stopped mine and he merely pulled down the straps and freed my breasts before he began to attack one of my nipples with his tongue.

It took all of my control to remain quiet, and I felt slightly like a deviant having sex with Edward when Evan was on the other side of the room sleeping. There was no way that he could see the bed from where he was located, but it was still a little weird.

"God, I don't know why but seeing you with him earlier turned me on so much. You are going to make such a good mother," Edward whispered into the skin of my neck as he settled in between my legs.

I could feel his hardness rubbing up against my thighs as he continued lavishing my neck and chest with open mouth kisses and I ached for him to be inside of me.

When I tilted my pelvis up and slid against him, Edward groaned as he reached down to align himself before he slipped into me.

Edward propped himself up on his elbows and smoothed the hair out of my face as he began to settle into a slow rhythm. His eyes were dark and hooded as he looked down on me and I struggled to keep my eyes open as he watched me.

He was gentle as he rocked into me, sending me closer towards my orgasm with each stroke. _This_ is the kind of sex that I imagined we would be having when we made our child, not the hot needy kind that we had been having so far. I wanted our child to be made when we made love, not when we fucked, if that even made any sense.

Edward leaned down and began to kiss me softly, his lips tugging my top one into his mouth as his thrusts became a little more forceful.

I could feel the soft hairs on his chest rubbing against my nipples as he was pressed tightly against me. I felt like I couldn't breathe as our kiss continued, my release rapidly approaching.

As my legs began to tense up, Edward moved his head down to my neck and began sucking on the skin underneath my ear. It wasn't enough to leave a mark, but it made it more intense as my muscles began to flutter around him.

He was everywhere, inside me, around me, touching, caressing, whispering into my ear.

"Come on baby, just let go," he murmured as he began to thrust into me more forcefully.

He groaned quietly as I froze and arched my back into the air, my mouth hanging open as I fought the urge not to moan loudly.

I could feel my muscles clamping down on him as he struggled with a few more strokes and then stilled as he tensed with his own release. He fells against me, panting and sweaty as I still had my legs wrapped around his thighs.

He kissed along my neck and shoulders as we came down, and then slowly slipped out of me and rolled onto his back.

"That was…." I whispered as Edward quickly finished for me.

"Fucking amazing."

I giggled quietly as I pulled up the straps of my tank top and resettled it on my chest before reaching over Edward to grab my shorts.

"Why can't you sleep naked?" he pouted as I placed his boxers on his chest.

"Because that would just be weird with him in the room," I whispered as I angled my head towards the pack and play that held the sleeping infant in it.

"Fine," he grumbled as he slipped on his boxers underneath the covers.

I slipped out and used the bathroom before climbing back into bed and curling up against his side.

He gently stroked the hair that laid across my back as we both drifted off to sleep.

***

I awoke abruptly as a loud noise startled me out of my sex induced slumber.

_Evan._

Edward groaned and rolled onto his stomach as I pulled my covers off and sat up in bed.

The crying stopped briefly before I heard a blood curdling wail come from the other side of the room.

I grabbed his blanket off the dresser and rushed over to pick him up as I glanced at the clock. 3:30 A.M.

_Oh yay!_

I pulled him against my chest and walked out into the hallway quickly as I tried to spare Edward from our wailing nephew.

We walked down the stairs and I sat down on the couch as I assessed the situation.

I stuck a finger into the edge of his diaper. _Nope, not dirty._

I rubbed his back to see if he had gas. _Nope, not working._

I tried rocking and bouncing him to get him to calm down. _Nope, still screaming in my ear._

Then I adjusted him so he was lying down cradled in my arms and he seemed to calm down. His little hand grabbed onto the front of my tank top like he had earlier when I fed him. I put my finger up to his mouth and he tried latching on as his cries subsided. _Bingo, he's hungry._

I wasn't sure if a bottle in the middle of the night met his feeding schedule, but if it calmed him down enough to get him to go back to sleep I was all for it.

Quickly pulling a bottle out of the fridge and settling it into the bottle warmer on the counter I tried to rock him to keep him calm. His little face was still scrunched up, but he seemed to be staying calm as he looked over at his bottle with abject desire in his eyes.

I think that he had finally figured out that nothing was coming out of me and he had stopped grabbing at my chest.

"Sorry buddy, I know you like the boobs, but mine are dry."

I tested the bottle on my wrist quickly before I walked back over to the couch and began to feed him.

The look on his face as he took the first drag of milk was hilarious and I swear he would have moaned if he was capable. He was just like his daddy, he was cranky when he didn't get fed.

Once he had sucked his bottle dry, his little eyelids began to droop as I settled the burping cloth against my shoulder and began to pat his little back.

It didn't take long for him to gurgle and burp, and by the time I had put his bottle into the sterilizer and walked up the stairs he was out like a light.

Edward didn't even budge when I climbed back into bed and tried to fall asleep again.

***

The crying started up again a few hours later and when I glanced at the clock it read 6:45 A.M., at least he had slept for a few more hours this time.

I groaned as I leaned up from my pillow, but Edward placed an arm around my side and whispered in my ear.

"I'll get him. He probably just needs his diaper changed."

I nodded sleepily as Edward walked over and pulled Evan out of the bassinet and cradled him against his bare chest. I could already tell he was getting use to the idea of fatherhood.

I listened to him coo at Evan as he changed his diaper in the bathroom, and laughed when he said something about, "aha, missed me this time buddy."

I was almost back to sleep when I felt the bed dip behind me, and Edward placed and arm around my waist to pull me back into his chest.

He curled around me and we fell back asleep. I hoped I could get more than three hours this time. I could now empathize with what Rose and Em had been dealing with for the past month and a half.

**

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A/N: I know, no one cares about Bella and her baby adventures, you all want to know what happens to Jasper, but you will get that tomorrow.**

**Thank you to all of you who voted for Socks in the Indie Twific Awards, the story has made it through to the final round in all three categories, which is just amazing! Voting for the final round is later this week, so please go cast your vote for Socks for Best AH, Best Collaboration and Best Undiscovered Erotica, and we might write a few more lemons for ya before this is over. (No that is not bribery, we are going to write them regardless….)**

**Sorry the schedule has been so off the past month or so, RL has been super busy for me with my new house, moving, and my brand new pregnancy. There are probably only 4 chapters left including the epilogue after the next one, so we are counting down from here on out.**

**Its been a wild ride, and we thank you all for coming on it with us. Till tomorrow…..**


	38. Hospital Beds and Headlines

_**Disclaimer: This whole Twilight world belongs to Stephenie Meyer. **_

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Hospital Beds and Headlines**

**APOV**

"Alice, Alice, wake up sweetheart."

I groaned, my body felt heavier than usual and I was sure it was conducive to weight of my heavy heart. Memories flooded my mind as reality seeped back into my consciousness. The missing days, Jasper's silence. The plane ride, the doubt, the tumult of pain, and the accident. _Oh dear God, the accident._

_Jasper._

My eyes flicked open ignoring the florescent light overhead. I tried to focus my gaze on anything solid. Everything was hazy around the edges as my chest ached painfully. This couldn't be happening, not now, not when we'd just found one another. I couldn't have misinterpreted the the shouting could I? I'd only been gone for a while. The look on Claudia's face, was that fear? Pain? I couldn't remember.

_Jasper. Claudia.  
_  
I didn't want to wake up anymore. I didn't want to face this alone. If this was the worst case scenario, the one in which I was left alone without him. I didn't think I could do it alone. He had become everything to me, that much was prevalent when he hadn't called me in two days. The thought of a lifetime without his smile, his touch . . . I couldn't, it hurt too much.

"It's okay, Miss Brandon. You took quite a bump to the head when you went down but we've been monitoring you for concussion and I think you're in the clear."

"How are you feeling, dear?"

My eyes flickered to the voice I recognized. Her calm exterior was over shadowed with the slight concern coloring her eyes. Was it concern for me? Or was it concern with my reaction? Sobs wracked my chest as I appraised her look, I couldn't read her.

"Jasper?" I asked, watching her eyes for the immeasurable amount of pain that would replace the calm with the reminder of her loss. I was surprised when it never came, only a small hint of a smile on her lips was visible.

"He's waiting for you, he asked me to come and sit with you," she grinned, the concern seemingly lifting with my apparent coherence.

"He's alright?"

"A bit sore, but ready to come home."

"Can I see him?"

I needed to see him, I needed to know this wasn't some cruel misconception made up by my subconscious to block out the impending pain. At this point, I wasn't even sure I was awake.

"Of course, he's been moved to a regular room. They want to monitor him for a couple of days," she said calmly, her warm hand closing around my own.

"He's really alright?" Tears clouded my vision as my body trembled.

"Oh, Alice." Claudia's hand brushed stray strands of hair from my forehead in a maternal fashion. It was something I had never had in my life and seemed to make me all the more emotional.

"He's fine, sweetheart. His broken leg will heal with time and the scars will fade, but he's here and he's waiting for you."

I threw my arms around her and buried my face in her shoulder, without much thought of how it would appear. The poor woman must think I'd lost my mind, but I needed to hear it, I need to hear that he was okay. Her words of encouragement had only begun to chip away at the inaccuracy I seemed to be clinging to. The only thing that would shift them completely would be seeing him. Touching him.

"Thank you, Claudia. For everything," I whispered, pulling back and releasing her from my embrace.

"You're welcome, Alice. I have to go and pick up Rosalie and Emmett from the airport. Jasper's in room 203, don't keep him waiting," she laughed, swooping gracefully to pick up her purse.

I smiled and nodded, pushing myself up until I was sitting upright. My head swam and made me a little dizzy, but it wasn't going to stop me from going to him. Nothing was going to stop me.

"Ms. Brandon?"

"I'm fine, thank you, just a little dizzy."

"That's natural, just try and take it easy. I'll be around if you need anything," he smiled.

"Thank you."

I watched him walk out of the room before I even attempted to stabilize myself on my feet. Even if I could barely walk, I knew damn well that it wouldn't stop me. I couldn't wait any longer. I needed to see it with my own two eyes. I needed to see his sapphire eyes, awake and alert. Hear his soft, calm voice telling me he loved me, and I needed to feel him, touch him. I needed him.

I slid myself from the bed slowly. I was still fully dressed so I didn't have to worry about finding my clothes. The room shuddered around me as I adjusted to being vertical again. My head was beginning to pound, but I would persevere.

Things got steadily clearer the more I moved around, I found the overnight bag I'd had in Jasper's room and silently thanked Claudia for being so thoughtful. I stepped into the small bathroom to change and brush my teeth. By the time I got to the door I felt well enough to run to his room. I needed to see him, it was a basic ache in my body, like a dry throat when you're thirsty, or the grumble in your gut when you're hungry. It was almost part of my very nature to want him.

The hallways were crowded as I made my way down to the corridor to the bank of elevators. I wasn't even sure what floor I was on.

By the time I got to his room my stomach was in a tight knot of acrobatic butterflies. I was still worried I would wake up and the entire conversation with Claudia would be a dream. I was turning into some crazy person.

I stepped to the door and every ounce of air I had been carrying in my lungs was released. He was there, lying in the bed with his eyes closed. There was no machine breathing for him anymore, and even though there were still machines hooked up to him, I could see his face, I could see him breathing by his own merit. He was alive.

His foot was in a cast over the blankets, small, yet neat stitches littered his hairline. Bruises were everywhere; but he was alive and he was breathing.

I walked as silently as I could towards the side of his bed, trying to hold back the sob that was making my chest ache. He was still asleep, and the look of him so at peace scared the living shit out of me. It was an awful reminder of how he looked while he was still in the coma. I had to remind myself he was just sleeping as the lump rose in my throat.

I reached out my hand, stopping inches from his. My irrational fear coursed through my veins.

Before I even realized it, my head was in my hands and I was bawling. Tears spilled over my bottom lids leaving small tracks of damp salty water running down my cheeks. Sobs wracked through my body making my entire body shake around me. This was so hard.

Strong arms circled my waist and pulled me onto the bed in one swift motion. A small groan made me realize what the effort would have done to him. It only made me cry harder. I buried my face in the crook of his neck and inhaled his scent. It was mingled with the sterile smell of the hospital, but it was still him, it was still Jasper .

His hand brushed through my hair, pushing loose strands from my eyes as his lips made contact with the side of my head. His hot breath was more reassuring that I could have ever imagined. It was like a blanket of safety enveloping me and reassuring me that it would all be okay.

"Shh, baby. It's okay."

It was now, but it hadn't been. Nothing had been okay when I had to live through the thought of no longer having him. His hands rubbed soothing circles into my back as he let me pour out my emotions. My fingers clutched the fabric of his hospital gown as I let the tears spill from my already aching eyes. I had to get it all out now while I could. He was alright, he was alive, and I would never let myself cry over this again.

"I'm so sorry, beautiful," he whispered, his lips planting on my forehead as he nudged my head from his shoulder. "I didn't mean to scare you so badly."

I shook my head and pulled away from his shoulder so I was hovering over him. My eyes caught the sapphire of his and my heart lurched at the perfection of them. Yes, the thought of losing him had scared me to death. Yes, not knowing where he was or what he was doing had scared me, but he hadn't planned it, and I wouldn't have him apologizing for almost losing his life.

"I love you," I kissed his lips in a quick sweeping movement. "Never leave me."

I kissed his eyes then, his cheeks, the tip of his nose. I kissed every inch of skin I could reach while he chuckled beneath me. My fingers brushed his hair from his forehead, before moving down to ghost over his lips.

"I missed you," he whispered, kissing my fingers and wrapping his arms around me to pull me tightly against him. "And I love you, too."

I pressed my lips against his and sighed as his closed around my own. His hands moved slowly up my back and into my hair, holding my face closer to his. I felt his tongue sweep across my lower lips as fingers flexed against my scalp. I gladly gave him what he wanted, separating my lips and reveling in the taste of him as his tongue explored the heat of my mouth.

Every part of my body was on fire for this man, my heart pounded in my chest as the fear slowly dissipated and was replaced by pure wanton lust. He was everything to me, and I didn't care who knew it. I sunk my teeth into his bottom lip and sucked on it gently.

His groan, startled me and made me pull back from him. My eyes waiting for him to open his so I could see if I'd hurt him.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, my fingers dancing along his jawline. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"You didn't," he chuckled, his eyes flickering open. "I just wish we weren't here right now."

I felt the slight form as I questioned him with my eyes, and was relieved when he finally laughed at me.

"I want you, and you have no idea how hard it is not to just roll us over and take you."

My mouth fell open and I couldn't stop the giggle from escaping me. He had no idea. I pressed my lips against his before resting my forehead against his.

"That sounds really nice about now," I whispered, locking my eyes on his. "But you have to get well, my love."

"I'm well enough to take you," he challenged, his hands roaming down my back to my ass. his hands cupped my cheeks and squeezed. "It feels like more than a week since I last had you."

"Will you behave yourself," I laughed, swatting his shoulder. It felt good to laugh after the last few days, and he was the only one that could have gotten this reaction from me.

He grabbed his shoulder and pressed his neck into my shoulder with a quick gasp of breath. I was such an idiot. The guy had just been hit by a car and here I was abusing him.

"Oh God, Jasper, I'm so sorry."

His body shook under me and I tried to fight from his grasp so I wouldn't cause any more damage. He just clung to me tighter.

"Baby, I . . ."

Him lifting his head shut me up quickly. The big smile and raised eyebrows told me exactly what he'd been doing. I couldn't believe him.

"You . . ."

"Be nice!"

"I can't believe you!"

He chuckled again and kissed my neck. His arms flexed around me and shifted me to his side so I was cuddled into him. One of his hands stroked my arm gently as we lay just looking at one another.

"You look tired."

"So do you," he smiled.

"I didn't handle not hearing from you so well," I cringed. "I need to do some serious cleaning up when I get home."

"Were you comfort eating?"

I bit my lip, I really didn't want to answer that.

"Well, I won't be leaving town again, well, not for a while anyway."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, when I was waiting for you to come in here, I did some thinking."

"About?" I asked, the nervous energy bubbling inside of me again.

"My career, us, all of it."

I shifted uncomfortably, but kept my eyes on his. What could he be thinking about? Then it all dawned on me. I tried to keep my face smooth, but it was definitely a hit to the ego.

"You don't want to move in?"

Jasper laughed and hooked his hand around my neck, pulling me in for a kiss. "Quite the opposite actually. It's all I want. I thought a little about this before the accident. I thought I loved modeling, I thought I loved the life."

"You don't?"

"It's fun, don't get me wrong, but it's just not enough for me anymore."

"I don't understand?"

"Modeling isn't what I want anymore."

"But, I thought that's what you'd always wanted?"

"I thought I did."

He was being so cryptic, I couldn't figure out what he was trying to tell me. He didn't want to model?

"I want a life with you, Alice. I want to wake up with you every morning, fall asleep next to you at night. Modeling was always just something to fill the void that Maria left in me. It was an excuse to keep traveling and living the single life, but I don't need that anymore. I've been speaking to Emmett about joining his firm and he seems to think he can swing it for me. I want you and I to start building a life together."

My head was spinning a little with all of this new information. He wanted me to fill the void in his life. After these short months together. He. Wanted. Me. He wanted a life with me.

"Baby, say something."

"I love you," I whispered, lifting myself up on my elbow so I could see him better. "All I've wanted was for you to be happy. If this is what makes you happy . . . well, it's a perfect idea, believe me, but if you're doing this for me, and not you . . ."

"This is an entirely selfish decision," he laughed, leaning forward to kiss my nose. "I don't want to be away from you."

"Good," I grinned, leaning forward to kiss him again. It was nice being with him like this. If I closed my eyes we could almost be at home on a Saturday afternoon cuddling in bed. The only obvious difference was the cast on his leg and the beep on the machines.

"Mr Whitlock."

Jasper groaned.

"Yes ma'am?"

"We need to take your vitals and make sure the swelling's going down as it should."

I opened my eyes and looked over at the nurse. She was probably in her early thirties, very pretty, but glaring in my direction. Typical!

I slid from the bed but kept a hold of Jasper's hand as she stepped tentatively to his other side.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better now," he said, smiling at me. "How about you?"

"Good, thanks."

She gave him a million dollar smile as she placed the cuff around his arm. I sat watching her with what I assumed was an amused smile on my face. This was the first time I had seen someone openly flirting with him. Especially in front of me. Not that it bothered me. Jasper's eyes were on me, and me alone, his smile was practically bright enough to light up the room.

I mouthed the words 'I love you' to him and grinned when he reciprocated.

"See he's fine, woman!"

My eyes widened as the voice filled the room, it was typical to hear Emmett before seeing him.

"You're skating on thin Ice, Emmett!"

"Stop it you two." Claudia's voice of reason was quiet, but they were just entering the room so I heard it clearly.

"Jasper, you're awake!" Rosalie sang as she stared daggers at her husband.

"Appears that way," Jasper chuckled.

I released his hand so he could give his sister a one armed hug while the nurse worked on the other side of him. I'd barely moved from my spot when Emmett swooped me into a bear hug.

"How're you doing, Ali?"

"Good thanks, Em," I managed to breathe out from against his chest.

"Where's my nephew?"

Emmett chuckled as he released me, "Bella and Edward, have him."

"They offered," Rosalie laughed, perching on the edge of the bed, holding Jasper's hand. "I warned them beforehand, but Bella insisted."

"Hope they're not too attached to sleeping," Emmett quipped, plopping down into the chair beside the bed.

"They'll be fine."

Silence descended over the room as the nurse continued her work on the other side of the bed. She was drawing blood from Jasper's arm and I could see the pure look of disgust on Emmett's face as he watched.

"So, what happened, Jasper?" Rosalie asked, her eyes moving across to the nurse and back to Jasper in one inconspicuous move.

"I was hit by a yellow cab," Jasper said rolling his eyes. "I was running late, I was crossing the street heard my name called out, so I turned around to see who it was. I couldn't see anyone so I took another step, and that's the last thing I really remember."

"Who called you?"

"Not sure," Jasper said, shrugging and winking at me.

There weren't a lot of people it could be considering where he was. New York wasn't his home, he knew a handful of people from the shoot and that was about it. I had an idea of who it could have been, but if that was indeed the case, she'd walked away and left him alone. That much was evident when the hospital wasn't sure who he was. When we hadn't been notified in days rather than hours.

"Would you excuse me?" I asked, giving Jasper a smile.

All eyes in the room were on me, and Jasper gave me a knowing look. He knew I was up to something.

"Don't be long," he said, his eyes wide as he gave me a pointed look.

"I won't."

I headed towards the bed to give him a kiss before I left the room. The realization of what could have happened had given me the motivation I needed to see this through. I wasn't sure that it was her who had called out his name and left him for dead, but I was sure she was capable of it, and that was enough for me.

I made my way out of the hospital and stood in front of the building in the cool winter weather. The cold, sharp air helped me clear my head, and put my plan into action. I pulled out my phone and dialed the one person I knew could help me.

"This is Shannon."

"Do you have it?" I asked, leaning against the wall.

"Alice?"

"Yeah, sorry. Shannon, the bitch is going down. Do you have those pictures?"

"All of them, and some extras."

"Extras?" This was new. Shannon hadn't mentioned anything.

"Oh yeah, some kid came in for a job. He was really young, but I recognized him from some pictures I saw from a red carpet event. He has pictures of him and Maria, and well, he's seventeen."

"You're shitting me?"

"Nope, he lied to her about his age, but when they did the deed, he was a minor!"

The cogs of my mind started turning as the information sunk in. Was I a big enough bitch to do this? Could I go through with it? Could I really do that to another human and not have it on my conscience for the rest of my life?

Then something clicked.

"Did you say _when_ they did the deed?"

I heard papers shuffling as Shannon looked for whatever information she had.

"I didn't even think about that!"

"Shannon, when was it?" I asked, knowing that it had to have been a while ago for the before to be prevalent.

"July," she said, shock tainting her voice. "He turned eighteen two weeks ago."

She had cheated on him, she had cheated on Jasper and I could only imagine it wasn't the first time. She was a lying manipulative bitch, she'd used him for as long as she'd known him. She'd used one of the most amazing men I had ever met in her manipulative . . .

"Alice!"

"Sorry,"

"Look, just so you're not implied in this, I am sending it in anonymously. In fact, I already did."

"What?"

"Well, I figured it had to be done. I sent the cocaine pictures to one of those rip a new asshole for celebrity tabloids, and I sent the other pictures to the District Attorney."

I could hear she was holding something back and new I needed to push just a little to get her to finish what she was trying to tell me. Shannon was easy to read, her pitch went up an octave when she was unsure about something. It had been the tell tale sign she had a crush on Seth.

"And?" I pushed.

"And, well, I may have called some news stations and leaked the story," she whispered. I could see her cringing in my minds eye.

I started to laugh. I couldn't help myself. She had taken all of the weight from my shoulders and given me revenge all in the same sentence. She must have known I would hesitate, think about the consequences, and if she had any doubt, Amanda would have confirmed that.

"Thank you," I sighed, as my laughed simmered down into workable giggles.

"What for?"

"Going through with it. Even after what she did, I would have thought about it too much. I would have considered everything, but you knew that, didn't you?"

"I had a feeling," she laughed.

"I'll call you later, Shannon. Thanks again."

"No problem, Alice. I'm here if you need me. Before you go, how's Jasper?"

"Awake," I sighed.

"Go be with him. I'll talk to you soon."

I said my goodbyes and made my way back to Jasper's room. I walked as quickly as I could, my curiosity killing me with every step. Had the news stations taken the story and run with it?

I burst back into the room, shocking Claudia and Rosalie and I headed towards the bed with a determined stride. I picked up the remote thing from the bed and held it to the television pressing buttons until the screen lit up.

"What's the matter, Ali?" Jasper's voice was full of concern as his hand closed over the top of mine.

"I just heard something interesting. I was wondering if it was true."

"What is it?" Rosalie asked, her interest piqued.

I flicked through the channels until I reached a local station. The news wasn't on yet, but I could tell by the time it wouldn't be long until it came on.

"Alice," Jasper's hand tightened around mine as he pulled me to him. "What's going on?"

"It's Maria."

"What about that bitch?" Rosalie asked, sliding from the bed and placing her hand on my arm. "What did she do now?"

"On the news, Shannon called and said we should watch the news."

I hope that the cringe that I couldn't control would be misconstrued as shock. I hated lying to them, any of them.

Jasper pulled me closer to the bed and motioned for me to climb on it with him. Under normal circumstances, the circumstances being his mom in the room when I was being invited into a bed with him, I would have declined. These, however, were far from normal circumstances, and I needed the consolation. I needed to be close to him.

All eyes in the room were directed at the television as I snuggled into Jasper's side. I was conscious of every movement I made so I wouldn't injure him further. The silence was deafening when the television faded to black before the start of the program.

My heart pounded in my chest as I waited for the news to start. I knew if it had just been the drugs, we'd probably have to wait for one of those tabloid entertainment shows to break the news, and I had an idea that it would probably only boost her career in the end. This though, this was serious. No media outlet would let this slide. Especially not with the subject matter, it had been in the news too often to let it slide.

The urgency of the music was almost enough to make me laugh, they made everything so dramatic, and it was only the local station. The two anchors appeared on the screen, seeming chatting to one another quietly as the camera drew into them.

"Good Afternoon," the female anchor said with a smile. "In breaking news today, the world renowned super model, Maria Espinoza was arrested on suspicion of statutory rape. Investigators say Espinoza allegedly had sexual relations with a minor, after a red carpet event in Soho. Jennifer Cranshaw has more on the story. Jennifer."

Images of someone under a raincoat being led to a police car were shown as the female reporter gave all of the information she had. I ripped my eyes from the screen to look around the room and noticed the open mouths of my companions. It wasn't until the date of the alleged incident that there was any reaction.

"July?" Rosalie spat angrily. "Jasper, weren't you two together in July?"

"Yeah," he answered, his voice emotionless.

I squeezed on the hand I was holding and laid my head on his chest. His lips brushed across my hair as his silence lay heavy in the room.

"I knew she was a skanky bitch," Rosalie said, shaking her head in distaste.

"That's enough, Rosalie," Claudia said quietly. She looked just as shocked and disgusted.

"Hey, it's just a fact."

"Yes, but we don't need to stoop to her level now, do we?"

"Her level is far below a couple of curse words, Claudia. It seems she's quite the bottom feeder."

"Then let's just be glad she's out of our lives."

"I know I sure the hell am," Jasper whispered into my ear before planting a kiss below it and making me shiver.

"That's my cue for food," Emmett laughed, standing up and stretching. I could feel the blush rise in my cheeks as all eyes were on us.

"Jazz, do you care if we head to hotel and come back later? Now I know you're alright the thought of hot food, a hot shower and pure, uninterrupted sleep is too good to pass up."

"I'll see you later," Jasper laughed, not relinquishing his hold on me.

We waited patiently for the room to empty, Claudia left to eat with Rosalie and Emmett. She said she had some things to take care of, and she wanted to get Jasper back to Seattle where she knew doctors and trusted them implicitly.

As soon as they were gone, Jasper tipped my head in his direction and gave me a long, passionate kiss. One of the good ones that make your toes curl and your heart pound restlessly in your chest.

"What was that for?" I whispered. I certainly wasn't complaining, but I knew his kisses, and there was an edge to it.

"Was that you?"

"Was what me?"

He tilted his head to the side and smirked knowingly.

"No, unfortunately it wasn't, but I may have something to do with it," I added, biting my bottom lip.

"Spill," he chuckled, pulling me tighter against him.

"Well, I guess it started when I was here for fashion week. I caught her in the bathroom blowing a drummer."

"What?"

"You'd broken up, and I hadn't spoken to you in days. I didn't think you were interested. I wasn't going to call you and tell you I'd caught your ex in the bathroom blowing Derek."

"Derek?"

"Long story."

"Okay, so how did that, lead up to this?"

"Well, I had my friend Shannon with me. We were all at the same table and she kept dumping snarky remarks at us. I was upset with how she was treating you, because . . . well, I knew how much I liked you, and I couldn't stand that she was doing this to you.

"So, I asked Shannon and Amanda to do some research. They came up blank until about two days ago. Shannon was the one to hand over the information. She knew I would buckle, and over think things."

"Remind me to send her some flowers," Jasper laughed, kissing my forehead.

"You're not mad?"

"No, I got what I want, I'm happier than I've ever been. Sure, I wasted some years on her, but I can't regret them. They led me to you."

That was quite possibly the most romantic thing anyone had ever said to me. I twisted my body in his arms and slung my arms around his neck with such force, it knocked him back against the bed. Without a moments hesitation my lips were against his. I sucked his bottom lip in between my own and sunk my teeth into the ample flesh.

Jasper's moan sounded as longing and desperate as I felt. I pushed myself onto my knees, letting one travel to the other side of him, hiking my skirt up and distributing my weight so I wouldn't put any pressure on his body. I just needed to get closer, I needed to feel him against me.

The battle for dominance in our kiss was quickly won by Jasper as he slid his tongue into my mouth. His hands traveled over my body to my hips where he gripped tightly in the heat of the moment. He pulled me down to him.

His hard length was all I could feel through the few small barriers we had between us. I moaned into his mouth. Elation filled my veins as the realization that this was real, and he was alright filled me completely. I would never trade any of this for anything. He was my everything, my whole world revolved around him and I was able to embrace that, grasp at it with both hands and never let go.

It wasn't until Jasper's lips broke from mine and ran smoothly down my throat that I remembered myself and where exactly we were. I was so lost in him, it hadn't occurred to me.

"Jazz," I breathed, my hot breaths pouring from me in pants. "We have to stop. Someone could walk in."

"Fuck it," he mumbled against my skin. The small vibrations mingled with the heat of his breath made the pressure inside of me palpable.

"At least let me lock the door."

"No, fuck it all, I want you . . . now!"

Jasper's hands slid down to my thighs and back up, this time under the skirt. His long lithe fingers hooked around the material of my panties as his eyes burned into me with an intensity I'd never seen from him.

Fuck it was right. I wanted him, everything in my body seemed to ignite with his touch. The heat between my thighs tripled just knowing that his hands were so close. We were communicating silently through touches and our eyes. Passion and need drove us forward.

I raised myself from him slowly as his fingers worked the cotton down my thighs. In a move I wasn't aware I was capable of, I pulled one of my legs from the hole and settled down on top of him. His eyes were midnight blue as he appraised me, and my walls quivered inside of me in anticipation.

"I love you, Jazz."

"I love you too, baby," he whispered as he pulled me into another heated kiss.

I couldn't stop the rocking of my hips as our tongues massaged the other. His hands, his wonderfully soft and magic hands, pulled and pinched, gripped and squeezed every inch of my body he could reach.

When it came too much to handle, when it all built inside of me, I knew I had to take control. I couldn't move slowly anymore. I needed him too much for that. I pulled the blankets from under myself lifting a knee when it was needed as I pushed the faded material down from his waist. I had to hold the groan inside of me when I realized I had one layer left.

The hospital gown was an easy layer, but it was still something blocking me from him. It was still something I needed to do before I could feel him inside of me. My hands balled the fabric laying on his thighs and I pushed it upwards. Up over his straining member, up over the defining v that formed over his hips, up over his well toned stomach, I tried to ignored the deep purple and yellow bruises that peppered his skin. This was about us, he wanted it just as much as I did.

Before I could push it any further, Jasper gripped my hips and pulled me up his body until I was hovering over him, our breaths mingled in the air between us as we simple stared at the other. I could feel the tip of him caressing the line of my wet folds. My breath stuttered in my chest as I waited for something . . . anything to happen.

"Fuck!" Jasper's face contorted with the word and I feared my weight was too much for him. "No condoms!"

In a moment of pure lust, or stupidity, I made my decision.

"Fuck it," I sighed as I lowered myself onto him, moaning as his erection filled me completely.

It may have the been the most stupid thing I had ever done. At least the most irresponsible, but I needed him, and I needed to feel him. Nothing could have stopped me in that moment, I was a force of nature.

We both let off low moans as I took his full length within me. I leaned back, my hands on his thighs as I once again adjusted to his size. My skin burst into flame as his fingers traveled up my shirt and under my bra. My walls clenched around him as his fingers pinched the taut skin of my already erect nipples.

I rose my hips, using my hands and my back to pick myself up. The friction of him sliding from me was almost too much for my senses. I groaned as the empty void filled the space he'd just occupied. I rocked my hips back down as he twisted my nipple with more force.

"Fuck," I moaned in pleasure.

I must have been louder than I'd thought. His hand flew up over my mouth as his other found purchase against my hip.

"Shh, baby, I'm not ready for this . . ." he thrust his hips as much as he could below me, ". . . to be over."

I nodded, words had escaped me as the heat he created bubbled through my body. My teeth penetrated my bottom lip as I fought to keep my excitement within me. Sex with Jasper was never quiet, those were two words that never went together.

I used my hands on his thighs as anchors and began finding my rhythm above him. pockets of hot air hit my skin as he tried to contain his usual verbal enjoyment. Small quiet moans and the sound of skin in skin were the only noises in the room as I picked up my tempo.

Both of his hands were now on my hips guiding me up and down on his length. Small beads of sweat traveled from my chest, and down through the valley of my breasts before traveling over my stomach. Small pools of water pooled where his thumbs gripped at my skin.

This was our way of appreciating one another. This was our way of saying everything we hadn't yet said. This was me, telling him I would never let him go again. I loved him. I. Loved. Jasper Whitlock.

My walls clenched around his swollen member and the rapture coursed through my veins. I wanted to scream his name, but I couldn't, I needed to pull him from the edge with me.

"Jasper."

"Alice," he whispered, pleasure the most predominant emotion in his voice. "Fuck, baby, I'm right . . . there."

I felt him tense below me as his head fell back onto the pillow and his eyes squeezed closed. It was only a second before I felt him throbbing inside of me. We reached our peak together and I collapsed against him, momentarily forgetting where we were or why we were here.

"Sorry," I squeaked, as soon as the thought did come to mind.

"It's fine," he chuckled, pulling me closer again.

He leaned over to the nightstand he had beside the bed and pulled some tissue from the dispenser with a broad smile dancing over his lips.

"Fuck it, eh?" he laughed, motioning for me to move with his chin so he could clean us up.

"Hey, you started it."

"But by God, did you finish it," he chuckled winking.

"What the hell did she put in your IV?"

**

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A/N: Okay, I would like to start by apologizing. It took so long to get that done. I really hate taking so long, and I have no excuses, other than stupid real life!**

**Hope it was worth the wait!!**

**Thank you, to everyone who voted for us in the Indies, you guys are amazing, thank you!! We're in the final round so keep an eye out *grin*, the list went up today, voting starts soon.**

**Thanks to miztrezboo and bemylullaby for always holding my hand when I am being a pp!!**

**And a big congrats to my collaborator on Socks . . . SHE'S HAVING A BABY!!!! And she has morning sickness too, poor bugger!!!**

**Much love and big huz - Weezy -**


	39. The Futures So Bright

**Disclaimer: Don't own…..****Stephenie Meyer carried and birthed the Twilight world, but when put them in the shaker and mixed things up ****:)**

**Long A/N at the bottom, we hope you enjoy the last installment of Socks for Sex……**

**

* * *

Epilogue**

**The Future's So Bright, I Gotta wear Shades!**

_We've shared joy and we've shared pain  
We've shared guilt and we've shared shame  
We've bought into the stupid games  
We've freed each other and we laid claim  
Oh yes the butterflies are still there  
__**Butterflies - Sia**_

_**

* * *

**_**APOV**

I learned very quickly that when Claudia Whitlock-Hale wanted something, she got it. Jasper was flown back to Seattle on a private jet with his own private medical team. He was taken to the hospital Edward worked at, because Claudia trusted him to look after her baby.

It took weeks of healing before he was discharged into my care, I was told to keep him in bed and off his feet, and I really didn't see that as being a problem either. Our little impromptu lovemaking in the hospital thankfully hadn't damaged his healing, and we avoided an awkward explanation on that. Much to Jasper's disgust, I refused to do it again, and he was growing restless, much the same as I was.

I don't think he'd been home for an hour before we were back to screwing like rabbits. We couldn't get enough of one another.

By the time Christmas rolled around, he was as good as new, and talking to Emmett's firm about a position they had available. Selfishly, I was happy he wouldn't have to stray far anymore, and Jasper didn't seem at all upset at the end of his career as a model.

Maria had been going through the courts since the day she was arrested, her agency had posted bail but refused to put her back to work. They hadn't wanted the media talking to her so she was held close until her trial. She ended up being sentenced to a year in the state prison, and a year of community service after that.

My life was a swirl of color compared the the dull variations of gray I had been living in before. I was happier than I'd ever been, and it was all thanks to the man I loved with every inch of myself. I was still as driven as I'd always been, but I had a purpose.

Work was much the same, and I tried the best I could to divide my time between Jasper and my friends. The whole situation with Bella had opened my eyes. I couldn't afford not to balance it all out. Everything seemed to coexist in perfect harmony in my life and I felt untouchable.

It was a week before Christmas and I found myself more in the mood than I had ever been. Jasper had surprised me after work one day by bringing home a tree and decorating it. I walked into a dark apartment, the lights blinking merrily by the window, with a very naked Jasper laid on his side in front of it, his hand propping up his head as the lights danced across his alabaster skin.

That night we had some of the best sex I'd ever had in my life. Jasper was always so attentive, but that night in particular he made it all about me bringing me to the brink of insanity more than once.

The annual Christmas party, held the weekend before Christmas, was more eventful than I could have possibly imagined. James showed up with a blond woman no one had ever seen before. Unfortunately, for him, Bella and I had taken pity on Tanya and invited her to come along with us. Her stomach was more swollen now, and she found herself home alone more often than not.

Edward had mentioned it at Thanksgiving dinner, so we invited her. It was a scene I don't think I'll ever forget.

_Bella and I had been st__anding__ with Jasper and Edward, away from the mass of bodies that were circulating in the large open space of the lobby. Tanya was with us sipping on her virgin eggnog. We had an open view of the entire room, and it wasn't hard to avoid the entrance of James and his new pet. The elevator doors had slid open to reveal the two of them organizing their clothes as they plastered fake smiles on their faces._

_Bella and I looked at one another and then to Tanya in pure shock. We had no idea whether she'd seen him or not. Both of us seemed to be unsure of how she would react. Sure enough, her eyes were trained on the couple entering the room. James was working his way around the room, introducing his friend as he chatted briefly with everyone he dealt with._

_His eyes flickered to mine, I was sure the amusement was obvious. I hated that Tanya had to deal with this, but I was excited at the prospect of the bastard getting his dues. I don't think he'd even noticed who I was st__an__d__ing__ with, he just seemed intent on heading towards me. Our interactions had all become antagonistic, when he stopped into the office briefly time to time, he would make it a point to come by my office. My hate for the man had amplified considerably._

_"Alice," he said drawing out the syllables, making my skin crawl._

_"James," I answered, smiling sugary sweet as I felt Jasper's arms circle my waist._

_I saw Tanya shifting uncomfortably in my peripheral and stepped towards her, Jasper still standing close behind me. He knew how I felt about James so I knew it wasn't a jealous action, it was more to deflect the unwanted attention._

_"You remember my friend__,__ Tanya__,__ don't you?"_

_James' eyes flickered to Tanya, his smirk still in place. Then his eyes roamed over her body, catching the very obvious physical changes in her appearance. He looked to me, then back to Tanya panic obvious behind his eyes._

_"I think we need to talk!" Tanya spat, her eyes narrowing at the blond stood with James._

_"Maybe later, Tracy."_

_"It's T__a__nya you asshole, and either we talk now, or you will be hearing from my lawyer."_

_The air around us seemed to still as the words seeped in to all of us. Whether he liked it or not, Tanya had just confirmed his worst fears. The color drained from his face as he looked at his date._

_"What's the matter Jay, who is this?"_

_"You need to go home."_

_"What?" __his date __asked, seemingly surprised that he would dismiss her so easily for a pregnant woman._

_"Go home, Irina."_

_"Whatever, your loss."_

_She turned on her heel and walked away, her head held high. I don't think she ever made it to the elevator._

_"Well, talk." James spat, his anger evident._

_"Don't you think it would be better . . ."_

_"No. I don't. Say what you have to say here, or don't say it at all."_

_Tanya shifted again, her eyes dancing over all of us, including Edward. I knew this was awkward for her, and Bella had told me that Tanya had been caught in the shower with another man by Edward the same day as she'd been with James, but something in face seemed to smooth out as she realized that all of us would be more likely to back her up than James. It was obvious in the way we all regarded him with contempt._

_"You're going to be a father." She brought her hands to her hips and leaned forward into him. "Congratulations!"_

_James stood stock still, his eyes wide and his face drained with color. You could practically see the wheels in his mind turning slowly as he fought for any escape from this situation. Emotions seemed to flicker over his severe features and rested easily on disgust. I could almost predict his next words._

_"I know women like you. You see a wealthy man and think that you can play the pregnancy card and get their money. Guess what, Sweetheart, that shit doesn't work with me. Play me for a fool and I'll outsmart you every time."_

_"You think this is about money? You asshole!"_

_Tanya skipped forward like a lioness with her claws drawn, but Edward was quicker. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her back with ease his angry glare directed at James. I knew what he was going to say, because we'd discussed it before, and he'd been the one to set us right that time as well._

_"Tanya doesn't need money, James. In fact that's the one thing she doesn't need from you."_

_"Then why the hell would she tell me about this? What would be her motivation for trapping me like this?"_

_"Trapping you," Tanya shrieked, pushing against Edward with all of her strength. "You wanna know trapped motherfucker. Try carrying around a watermelon sat on your bladder all day long, making your skin puffy and stretched. How about the fact that I will be looking after this child for at least the next twenty years, not only physically but emotionally. You trapped me, I thought you'd want to know that your daughter will be born sometime in the next __few__ months. You're one sorry son of a bitch, you know that?"_

_"What the fuck do you want from me, Lady?"_

_"I want you to take some responsibility for your actions. This isn't just my child, James."_

_"I don't even know you, I can't just drop my life because you got yourself knocked up. I don't owe you a goddamn thing."_

_"Oh really? Well we'll see what the courts have to say about that asshole. You can expect to hear from my lawyer."_

_Tanya struggled from Edward's embrace and pushed James out of her way as she marched through the room towards the elevators. I felt terrible that she was leaving alone. She didn't deserve such disrespect from an asshole like James._

_"You cowardly piece of shit," I said, shaking my head. I ran my hands along Jasper's arm so he would know to let go of my waist. "You disgust me."_

_With that, I caught Bella's hand and pulled her towards where Tanya was waiting for the elevator. I wouldn't let her leave alone._

I hadn't heard or seen from James since, but I doubted he would stay away for long. His temporary replacement had been a junior associate in the firm.

Tanya had been so distraught she'd gone to stay with her aunt in Portland for a while. It was disturbing seeing someone that strong broken.

Christmas brought with it more revelations. We all gathered together, as we had since college. This time, Jacob joined us with Nessie. It felt like everything was finally complete. All of the people I loved were in one room.

As was tradition, we ate before we opened presents. It had always annoyed Bella that we did things so backwards, but this years she seemed to float through it without much thought. She was positively glowing. I had, on more than one occasion tried to corner her, and ask her what the hell was going on, but she danced around my questions with her usual excuses.

It wasn't until we were all sitting around the table, and her and Edward seemed to exchange glances more often than eating, that I started realizing there was something big going on. I hated being left out of the loop.

It wasn't until everyone had finished eating and the plates had been cleared, that they made any indication at all of sharing their secret. Edward stood from his chair, his wine glass in hand. My stomach flipped roughly when I saw the look pass between him and Bella.

"Can I get your attention everyone?" he requested confidently, smiling down at his wife.

"Bella and I have some news. We went to the doctor a few days ago, and as of July, we are going to be parents."

The table erupted in excitement. Bella glowed as she sat in the center of attention, it was something I had never seen before, she seemed to accept it quite gracefully. I was itching to get out of my seat and hug her, but I could see that Edward was waiting patiently to finish what he was trying to say. As soon as the room quietened down he started again.

"So I ask all of you to toast the mother of my future child, and the love of my life, Bella."

All of us lifted our glasses and toasted the two of them and their unborn child. I couldn't have been more excited for the two of them. Bella and Edward had been trying since the masquerade ball. Neither had been particularly worried about when it would happen and I assumed that they were just having fun trying. I had never seen the two of them happier.

As soon as the toasts were done, I sprung from my chair, wrapped my arms around my best friend's neck, my chin on her shoulder. Her hand came to rest on my arm as she giggled. She'd obviously seen my excitement.

"I'm so happy for you, sweetheart."

"Thanks, Ali."

I gave her a kiss on the top of the head before making my way to Edward. His long arms wrapped around me and his smile was breathtaking.

"Congrats, Daddy."

"Yeah yeah," he laughed, kissing the top of my head.

The warmth and love seemed to emanate around the room. They happy chatter continued, Emmett swung Evan up into the air eliciting a peal of laughter from the baby. He was one of the most spoiled children in the world, none of us could say no to him, and I could only imagine that Bella and Edward's child would be subjected to the same. He or she would be one of the most loved and spoiled children around.

I stood still watching Emmett and Evan together for a while. I was only disturbed when Jasper's warm arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me against his chest, his chin coming to rest on my shoulder as he watched with me. I had never considered kids before, and in all honesty I was now, but it seemed as though it could be a possible future. Somewhere way ahead in the future.

"What are you thinking about, Sweetheart?"

"Nothing really," I lied. "Just watching Emmett and Evan playing."

"Did you not want to open presents?"

I raised my eyebrows and turned my head a little. This close, I could see one of the scars he'd gotten from the accident. I brushed my lips across them gentle, eliciting a smile from him.

"Do you know me?" I giggled.

"That's what I thought, baby," he chuckled as he shuffled me towards the huge Christmas tree in the living room.

Jasper and I had left most of our presents at home, so we could have our own mini version of Christmas later on. We'd just brought a present each, which seemed to be the way most did it now. It was one of things I hadn't noticed before, but now being in a relationship I immediately got.

Jasper fell into one of the chairs by the fireplace and pulled me into his lap. He nuzzled into my neck as I leaned back into his chest, ready for the festivities to begin. Jasper and I had been having a ball the last couple of weeks shopping for Evan.

The large pile of gifts pouring from under the tree were almost all addressed to him. I wasn't sure what an almost four month old was going to do with this much stuff, but I imagined he would grow into anything that he couldn't use now. His little face was lit up as he laid on his dad's chest watching the world go by.

"Okay, who's playing Santa this year?" Rosalie asked, a slight cooing to her voice as she touched the tip of Evan's nose with her finger. I didn't think I'd ever get used to seeing that.

"I vote for the daddy to be," I laughed, winking at Edward.

"No, let me," Jacob mumbled jumping to his feet. It was the first thing he'd really said aloud all day.

I felt guilty for just noticing it. He and I had gotten back to being friends now that he and Nessie seemed to be closer than ever. I was happy to be able to talk to him about Jasper. It had been weird for him to talk to me about Nessie in the beginning, but once he realized I was genuinely happy for him, he seemed to fall right into step with me.

He shuffled awkwardly towards the tree reading tags and handing out gifts with a nervous smile. As was tradition, we waited until all of the presents had been delivered before opening a present. Emmett, as always was getting frustrated with waiting.

The room was filled with happy chatter as the last present was delivered, but just as we were about to start opening the gifts, Jacob stopped us.

"Hang on guys, there's one more."

Everyone stopped and looked at the tree before looking at Jacob. His normally warm russet skin looked pale as he pulled a small box from his pocket.

Everyone in the room froze, their eyes darting between Jacob and Nessie.

Jacob took Nessie's hand in his and pulled her from the couch into the center of the room. Everyone was completely silent, the only sound was gurgling coo's from Evan.

Jacob lowered himself on one knee in front of Nessie with a warm smile, her hand still in his.

"Nessie, I know it's only been three months, but I may has well have known you a lifetime. You're everything I ever wanted and more. You are the only person I will ever want. Will you marry me?"

My eyes flew to Nessie's face before breaking out into a huge smile. Anyone could tell her answer by looking at her. Her warm brown eyes were pooled with unshed tears, her mouth turned up in the most radiant of smiles.

She didn't say a word, but she nodded. Small happy sobs breaking from her chest as Jacob put the substantially sized rock on her finger. She dived into his arms as soon as he kissed the ring on her finger.

The room burst with excitement as the congratulations started all over again. I launched myself from Jasper's lap and into Jacob's arms in one leap. I had never been so proud in all of my life. He chuckled deeply into the top of my head as he placed me back on my feet.

"Congratulations, you sly fox. You hid that one from the masses."

Jacob only smirked, his face lighting up as Nessie fell into his arms again. I gave her a huge hug and checked out the ring. It was the most beautiful thing I had seen in a while. It was nothing like Bella's, but it fit Nessie beautifully. The small platinum band circled her dainty finger and joined together in a cradle for the, what I could only guess was at least a carat, diamond.

The celebrations went on for a while after that, so much news on one day. The room had been so filled with love every one of us seemed reluctant to leave. Unfortunately, time doesn't stand still just because you will it to, and all too soon people started filtering out.

Jasper and I made our way around the room, saying our goodbye and congratulations. I promised Bella to call her the next day when everything had settled down a little so we could talk. She seemed excited about it, especially when Edward mentioned he had to work.

Jasper and I made our way home in relative silence. I wasn't sure what was going on in his head, but I could see the deep thought as the relaxed smile played on his full lips. It wasn't until we got into the apartment that he said anything at all.

I'd just walked into the kitchen to get a glass of wine. He'd followed me. I didn't even make it to the refrigerator when I felt his arms wrap tightly around my waist from behind. He spun me in his arms before lifting me onto the counter. He leaned on the hands he'd placed either side of me so he was eye level with me.

I ran my hands across his forehead gently trying to erase the small lines of a from across his brow. I knew him well enough to judge what had brought about this mood change.

"What's on your mind, baby?" I asked, moving my hand down to cup his cheek. He leaned into it with a sigh, his eyes never leaving mine during the sentiment.

"Are you disappointed?" he asked, his deep voice sounding a little troubled.

I frowned at him. I had no idea what he meant or what would have brought this on.

"About what?"

"That I didn't propose or . . ." he paused, smiling. "Knock you up?"

I smiled at him and brought my other hand up to cup his neglected cheek. Only Jasper would worry about something like that, he couldn't seem to fathom that as long as I had him I was happy. Everything else could wait as long as I had him to fall asleep with and wake up next to.

"Jasper, I want those things with you, but it doesn't have to be now. As long as I have you nothing else matters to me, I don't need a ring to know that you love me, and I really don't think we're ready for a baby," I giggled, leaning forward and rubbing my nose against his. "We're having way to much fun at the moment for that."

"You deserve those things though, Ali, and I feel like a shit for not even thinking about it, because I _want_ to marry you. I know I don't need anyone else . . ."

"I know that silly," I said, placing my fingers over his lips. "I want the same things, but it doesn't have to be now, you'll know when it's right for you. I have no doubt that I will marry you one day, Jasper. Please don't think that I'm anything but happy."

Jasper's answering smile filled me with joy. We'd lived in such a blissful bubble that I hadn't even thought about when we would get married. I think I always knew in my heart we would, but even when Jacob had proposed to Nessie, I hadn't even thought about when and how he would ask me. I loved him and he loved me, to me that was all that was important.

"I love you, Alice Brandon."

"I love you too, Jazz."

He leaned forward slowly, his lips brushing against mine with a tenderness that I craved from him. He always started our kisses with a slow burning passion, it was laced with everything we felt for one another. The core of our emotional bond.

Even with the tenderness of the moment, I knew it couldn't last for long, the same spark that always seemed to fuse us together ignited the moment my fingers slid to the nape of his neck, tightening in the soft hairs that lay there.

Jasper's tongue brushed against my bottom lip as the moment transformed into unbridled lust. My legs tangled around his waist pulling him to me as I allowed him to deepen the kiss. Nothing seemed to matter in that one moment. When the warm turned to the passionate flames and the need grew so rapidly it was like a drowning person resurfacing, there was no stopping us.

I loved moments like these, spontaneous lust over taking everything until I felt him within me. It was never any question with Jasper and I, all we had was passion and love for one another. It was a constant, any moment between us could turn into this amazing desire that could only be quelled by feeling him inside of me.

My hands untangled themselves from his hair and moved straight to the hem of his shirt in my desperation to feel whole again. The buttons were fed through the eyes before I pushed the material over his shoulders and let it fall to the floor. I immediately pulled the t-shirt he had on below it up over his head. Our lips parted as I pulled it over his head and deposited it on the floor.

The moment his hands were free he moved to my sweater pulling it over my head in one smooth motion. His lips crashed against mine as his hand roughly pushed the material of my bra away releasing my breast.

His lips, hot and wet passed over my neck and down to my exposed chest. His free arm circled my waist as my back arched at the feel of his teeth digging into the aroused skin of my nipple. My hands found purchase in his hair once again as I held him to me.

His hands moved quickly to the waist of his jeans, he unbuckled his belt with one flick of his wrists as his other fumbled with the button and zipper. I dropped my legs as he pushed roughly on the material sending the jeans and boxers to the floor.

"I need you, Jasper," I moaned, my fingers fisting in his hair making him growl.

His lips made their way back up to his mouth as his hands disappeared beneath my skirt. His fingers hooked under the fabric of my panties and ran along the folds gently. He moaned, it was a long drawn out sound making my toes curl.

"So wet, baby," he mumbled against my lips.

I slid myself closer the the edge of the counter, needing him more now. His fingers slid out slowly as he made his way to the waist band.

Hooking his fingers around the flimsy material, he pulled them down to my thighs. He stepped away from my body pulling the material down over my knees until they slid down over my feet. The cool air hit my hot aching sex, and I couldn't stop the moan falling from my lips as a shiver ran down my spine.

Jasper moved quickly after that. His hands gripping my hips as he pulled me to the lip of the counter, he stepped forward grabbing his stiffened member before guiding it into me. My legs locked around him again, needing him to be closer.

I groaned at the feeling. Rapturous pleasure coursed through my veins as he filled me completely.

Fully sheathed inside of me, he moved a hand to my back, I lay back into his touch, my elbows hitting the counter as he pulled out of me gently. Our eyes locked as he pushed back into me again, his hooded eyes seemingly echoing the groan.

He picked up his pace, the only sound in the room were our lust filled moans and grunts and the sound of skin on skin. Pleasure ran through my body like molten lava as he drove into me. I knew it wouldn't take me long to reach the precipice he so easily pushed me over.

My legs pushed him deeper within me as I moved with him, using my hands and elbows to gain leverage. A sheen of sweat covered both of us as we moved together, the push and the pull, the moans and the groans. I gripped onto the edge of my mind waiting for him to follow but it was useless, the feeling was overwhelming and the white lights behind my eyes seemed to coordinate with my coiling muscles.

His name was like a mantra in my mind and on my lips as I tightened around him. Jasper's movements slowed gradually as his muscles tightened. His fingers moved between us as he pushed deeper, once, twice. His fingers closed around my clit and I knew what he wanted. I let go again as the first gave way to the second. My voice hoarse from the groans found a new life as I tightened around him again, feeling him throbbing within me.

He called out my name as he buried himself for the last time. His body collapsed over me, his weight held by his forearms as his head came to rest on my chest. Both of us were panting for air as the cool air licked at our damp bodies.

He wrapped me in his arms as our bodies pressed against the other. Our hearts seemed to pound in time with one another, synchronizing as though they were one.

* * *

**BPOV**

Waking with a start, I felt pressure in my lower abdomen, a slight fluttering that intensified my urge to use the bathroom.

Carefully removing Edward's arm from my swollen belly, I sat up slowly and made my way towards the bathroom in the dark. I had made this trek many times in the last several months, but luckily it was not to throw up anymore. That had been the worst part of the pregnancy so far.

Christmas to Groundhog's Day was spent with more hours in front of the toilet than I cared to admit. Luckily, my cubicle at work was just around the corner from the bathroom.

When I returned to bed, I glanced at the clock, it read 6 AM, and I was anxiously hoping that the next five hours would fly by quickly. Today was my first ultrasound. At twenty weeks, I was finally going to get to see my child. I had grown accustomed to the sound of the heartbeat in the last few doctor's appointments, but today was so much more exciting.

Edward was still sleeping soundly, one arm thrown over his face as he laid on his back. The pale expanse of his stomach was exposed above where the comforter rested just below the band of his boxers.

It was totally unfair. While I continued to expand daily at a startling rate, he remained tight and toned. Not that I was complaining, but I still couldn't see why my expanding body made him so excited.

He had barely been able to keep his hands off of me in the past few weeks, constantly rubbing and kissing my stomach when he wasn't trying to rip my underwear off.

I was convinced that the whole concept of getting a pregnancy glow had evaded me, because I did not equate acne to glowing. My once flawless skin was dotted with tiny red marks which pissed me off to no end. Why couldn't I have been one of those beautiful, fresh faced pregnant women like Rosalie had been? Was that so much to ask?

I knew that I was being vain when it came to scrutinizing my appearance lately, and Edward didn't seem to be phased by my acne or my one new tiny stretch mark, but I couldn't seem to help it.

Lying down carefully on my side, I scooted over towards Edward and laid my hand on his chest, tucking my head into his shoulder and closing my eyes.

"Bella," he breathed as he turned to face me; his eyes flickering open and a small smile lifting the corner of his mouth.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," I whispered before he leaned down to kiss me lightly on the lips.

"It's alright," he whispered back, tucking a stray piece of hair behind my ear.

We both smiled shyly at each other as Edward situated himself on his side, propping his head up on one hand while his other slipped under the material of my tank top.

"Morning mommy," he smiled as he ran his palm over my belly. "Any movement today?"

"A little, but still no kicks, just turning. We seem to have a restless one."

Edward scooted down the bed until he was eyelevel with my belly and lifted up my shirt to expose my small bump.

He began to whisper to my stomach and tap lightly on my abdomen, encouraging our child to let him know it was there. It was killing him waiting for the baby to start kicking. He wanted to feel our child in there, I guess feeling it kick would make it more tangible for him.

"It'll happen soon," I whispered as I ran my fingers through his messy bed hair.

He turned to face me, laying his head down on my abdomen and raising an eyebrow.

"No," I said firmly as his hands began to push my tank up further to expose my now much larger breasts.

"Bella," he said playfully as he wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"No," I repeated as I shook my head at him.

"But they aren't even doing an exam today, baby. I promise I'll be gentle," he cooed as he ran the tip of his finger over my overly sensitive nipple.

"Edward," I warned as I grabbed his hands to stop their ministrations.

He ignored me as he turned his head and began to softly kiss across my stomach, stopping briefly to grasp the waistband of my underwear with his teeth.

Inching them down slowly, he began to nuzzle the patch of soft brown curls with his nose.

"Stop it," I giggled as he freed one of his hands and used it to pull my underwear down to my thighs.

"Now we both know that you don't mean that, love," he teased as he tossed my underwear to the floor beside the bed.

He leaned back on his heels and pulled his boxers briefs down and my eyes widened as his erection literally bounced out of its confinement.

Edward quickly stood up and left them on the floor before he knelt down beside the bed and turned me to face him. He pulled a few pillows from the head of the bed and propped them up behind my back before he peeled off my tank top fully exposing me to him.

I wiggled my hips towards the end of the bed and gasped as Edward leaned forward and captured a sensitive nipple between his teeth. Leaning back to enjoy the sensation, I felt Edward situate himself in between my legs and brush his length against my folds.

"Oh god," I whimpered as he moved his mouth to my other breast and pressed the head of his cock inside of me.

It seemed like I was permanently aroused lately, and more sensitive down there than I had ever been before. Sex was much more intense, and Edward seemed to enjoy the fact that most sex between us lately resulted in multiple orgasms. I guess it made his ego swell, among other things.

He grunted as he slid into me slowly, placing both of his hands on the small of my back to hold me into position.

We had abandoned the concept of missionary style sex, or anything that involved me lying on my back because with the growth of the baby over the last few weeks it was just too uncomfortable.

This had led to some more creative positioning on our parts, and I was enjoying sharing this with Edward. I knew that he was worried earlier on in the pregnancy about sex because I was so drained, but I had slowly been getting my energy back, and with it came my insatiable libido.

Edward began to place wet open mouthed kisses on my neck and shoulders as he increased the depth of his thrusts, forcing me back into the pillows with every stroke.

"Oh yes," I moaned as he moved his hands down to my ass and began to angle his hips upward as he drove into me.

"Come on, Bella," he encouraged as he leaned me back further and moved one of his hands up between us to play with my breasts.

He had figured out that with my nipples being so sensitive lately that a few carefully placed pinches could drive me over the edge.

"Fuck me," I whimpered as I felt my muscles begin to tense around him.

He grunted in response, let go of my nipple and trailed it down my swollen stomach to rub firmly against my clit.

I jerked in response and began to spasm around him as I arched my back and moaned out his name.

As I came down from my high, I looked up to see Edward's eyes clenched closed in concentration as the muscles in his neck and shoulders tensed.

He was fighting back his release, but I could tell by the pace of his thrusts that he was getting closer to falling.

I leaned forward, grabbed onto his hips and squeezed as I tightened my legs around his thighs.

He was moaning loudly as he continued to drive into me and I could feel the familiar tingling sensation begin again in my abdomen as he swelled inside me.

"Come on Edward," I moaned. "Cum with me."

His eyes flashed open in surprise and he moved one of his hands to the back of my neck and pulled me forward to kiss him. He thrust his tongue into mouth as I felt my muscles tighten again, throwing me into my second orgasm.

"Fuck," he grunted against my mouth as I felt him jerk into me one last time and still.

We were both completely breathless and panting against each other, completely exhausted.

My legs relaxed as I let go of his hips and I leaned back into the pillows to catch my breath.

"I think it's time for a nap," Edward said sleepily as he pulled out of me and arched his back to stretch.

I mumbled and nodded as I felt him stand up. He gently pulled the pillows out from under me and replaced them at the head of the bed as he turned me to lie down.

Once I was settled, he moved around the other side of the bed and climbed in with me, pulling the sheet up over us both.

He settled his head on my shoulder as he placed the palm of his hand over the swell of my stomach.

"Your heart is beating so fast," he said quietly.

"Well you did give me a little bit of a workout."

He chuckled as he snuggled up to my side more closely, rubbing his hand up and down my stomach in smoothing strokes.

Just as I felt myself falling into slumber, something jerked inside of me and I popped my eyes open.

Edward's head shot up also with wide eyes as the corner of his mouth began to quirk up.

"Did it just?"

I nodded, bringing my hand down to rest on top of his, moving it slightly lower to where I could feel faint movement.

We both laid there silently as we waited.

"Do you think it will do it again?" he asked, his voice slightly awed.

"I dunno."

He began to rub his hand firmly against me, and I could feel corresponding movement on the inside again. I felt a little bit of pressure and then it jerked again, into where our hands were rested.

I let out a startled laugh as Edward tapped on my stomach with his long fingers, eliciting the same bump.

"It kicked me," he said happily, as he leaned down to kiss me, his hand still planted firmly on my stomach.

"I know," I said as tears pricked at the corners of my eyes. Every time that we reached a new milestone in the pregnancy, I seemed to cry. Hormones were really a bitch sometimes.

I leaned back against the pillows and settled in as Edward lied down next to me on his side, his head propped up on one arm as his other hand rested on my stomach. I yawned loudly as felt myself getting sleepy.

"Sleep, Bella," Edward whispered leaning forward to kiss my cheek as my eyes fluttered closed.

As I drifted off, I could feel his hand moving over me tenderly and smiled at how happy we had become.

***

"Make sure you finish that before we get there," Edward instructed in his doctor's voice as he tilted his head towards the bottle of water in my hands.

In order for the sonogram to be performed easily, you had to have a full bladder.

Before we had left the house, I used the bathroom for the fourth time this morning and as soon as I walked out, Edward thrust two bottles of water into my hands and tugged me towards the car.

He was beyond excited and was making sure that I followed the instructions the doctor had given us to a T.

"I know," I groaned as I finished off the last drops of the first bottle and cracked open the lid on the second.

I thought about the last several months as I forced myself to gulp down the rest of the water, staring out the window as the city came into view.

The October session of "trying" didn't work, so when my period came, I bawled my eyes out while Edward went to the store and bought a digital ovulation monitor.

He was going to be proactive about the whole thing, and it made me angry and happy at the same time.

My first, very short lived, pregnancy was a complete accident, and I was so disappointed when it didn't happen again right away.

Edward assured me that it was normal, and some people took up to six months or even a year to get pregnant, which just made me cry harder.

November was a trial. I was taking basal body temperature readings, fertility saliva readings, and ovulation tests all at the same time. On the first day that I came up positive for ovulation, I called Edward and ordered him to meet me at home during my lunch break.

I jumped him the second he came in the garage door, and there is a very distinct possibility that our child may have been conceived on the kitchen island.

Edward made me call in sick for the afternoon and we spent the rest of the day in bed, making sure that I was properly "fertilized".

The next day was a Saturday, so we continued our activities into the afternoon, and then it was all out of our hands once I didn't get the two pink lines on the ovulation test anymore.

I threw myself into work for the next few weeks, spending all my free time with Alice and Rose, shopping for Christmas presents.

Thanksgiving came and went without much drama, and Jasper continued to heal as we all settled into our routines.

I ended up getting the promotion and now had my own featured column on a quarter of a page of the magazine, but I was still stuck in my tiny cubicle.

Christmas was quite the event with Tanya confronting James, and Nessie and Jacob getting engaged, but the most exciting news came a few days before all the drama.

When it came to taking the first pregnancy test, I was terrified, because I really wanted it to be positive. I sat nervously curled up on the floor of the bathroom staring at the plastic stick until I saw two faint lines come into view.

I screamed at the top of my lungs as I ran out into the bedroom, and woke up Edward who thought I had been murdered at the noise.

As I was jumping up and down and squealing, tears running down my face, Edward groggily got up and grabbed the stick out of my hands, looking down at it in shock.

"Holy shit, I'm gonna be a daddy," he shouted as he scooped me up in his arms and twirled me around in a circle.

We "celebrated" the news with a little extra practice for next time, and then he forced me to take two more tests just to be sure.

Three days later, and much cajoling on Edward's part, we sat in the doctor's office after they had received my blood tests back.

Normally they waited until around ten weeks to see a woman the first time in her pregnancy, but with Edward's pull we confirmed my pregnancy at just over five weeks.

Three and a half months flew by with Christmas, New Years, Groundhog's Day, and now Easter was just around the corner.

My stomach seemed to have blown up over the last two weeks, and now we were finally going to get to start buying things for the new baby.

"You ready?" Edward asked as he opened up his car door.

He came around to help me out of the car and we walked through the skywalk to the main hospital hand in hand, buzzing with nervous energy.

As we walked up to the floor where the main obstetrics offices were, I was nervous that we weren't going to be able to find out today. I had heard of several people who didn't know until their third trimester because the baby decided to be shy.

"Eleven o'clock for Isabella Cullen," Edward told the receptionist before we settled into the cushy chairs in the waiting room until they called us back.

I was bouncing my legs nervously as I clasped both hands over my stomach, trying to calm down.

"Stop wiggling, Bella. You are making me nervous," Edward teased as he settled a hand on top of mine.

"Easier said than done."

After what seemed like an eternity, which was really ten minutes, they called my name and I took in a deep breath before we followed the nurse back into one of the sonogram rooms.

There was a computer set up on a cart with a large monitor beside it with several cords attached to it.

"Alright, are we ready to do this?" an enthusiastic young blonde man in a labcoat said as he plopped onto the rolling stool at the side of the exam table I was seated at.

I nodded warily as Edward reached forward and shook his hand, introducing himself. The ultrasound technician's name was Riley, and he was apparently also a medical student.

"Ok, Isabella, I am going to need you to lean back and pull your shirt up to expose your stomach, you might need to unbutton your pants, but I will give you a sheet to cover yourself. Why don't you get settled in while I get my computer set up."

He turned towards the computer, turning on the monitor and typing a few things in while Edward helped me get situated. It felt weird to be sitting with my stomach just sitting out there, but I was going to have to get used to this eventually.

"We settled in?" he asked as he swiveled around in his seat and faced us.

"Yep," I chirped as he put on some gloves and reached for a tube that was sitting beside him on the counter.

"As I am sure you know, this is going to be cold, but it will warm up as we go," he said as he opened up the bottle and squeezed a large amount of the gel over my stomach.

It tickled when he picked up the wand and began to move it around my belly, spreading out the gel, and I squirmed a little when I felt the baby move in response.

"Today we are doing a full anatomical survey of the baby, checking to make sure that there don't seem to be any spinal or cranial malformations. We will also be able to make sure the heart looks healthy, as well as the brain. If the baby cooperates, we might be able to determine the sex," Riley said as he rolled to the side so both Edward and I could see the monitor behind him.

At first, it was completely filled with static, but then as he pressed down towards my lower abdomen, a picture flickered into focus.

"Oh wow," I whispered as I got the first glimpse of my baby's face, its little nose and a tiny little fist balled up next to its head.

Riley clicked the mouse a few times and then the image panned out, and we could see the baby curled up with a little foot visible at the side of the screen.

I was completely mesmerized as he manipulated the wand on my stomach and began calling out body parts, and telling us about the spine and the heart movements. I could see a tiny little flicker in the center of its chest as its heart beat furiously. Every once in a while, he would type something in which would appear on the screen and then the image would freeze.

When it came time for him to try to identify the sex, he ran the wand down the side of my belly and the bottoms of its little feet came into view, after a few more precise movements, he had it zoomed in between its legs, and I gasped as I realized that it had to be a girl.

"Is that the three lines thing they tell you about?" I blurted out as Edward squeezed my hand.

"I see someone has done their homework," Riley chuckled as he tried to get the image more into focus.

Edward kissed me on the cheek as Riley began to talk again.

"That right there," he said drawing an arrow on the screen, "is the labia, so yes, you are having a little girl. Everything seems to be proportional and in the right place."

I giggled as the baby then proceeded to clamp its legs together, cutting off the view, and Edward said something about her keeping her legs shut until she was thirty.

"I think we are pretty much done here," Riley said as he put away the wand and handed me a dry hand towel as he wiped the gel off my belly with a moist one. "I will print out the pictures that I took and if you have the DVD we asked you to bring I can make you a copy of the video as well. All of these images will be sent to your doctor, but I don't think there was anything out of the norm you need to be worried about."

We thanked him as he got the pictures and video ready. Edward and I were both grinning like idiots as I got my clothing resituated, and he kissed my belly before I pulled my shirt back down.

"Thank you," Edward said softly into my hair as he helped me sit up. "She's perfect."

I fought back the urge to cry as I slid off the table.

We got all of our materials rounded up and walked out of the office and as we got to the car, we both pulled out our cell phones.

I called my mother first, who squealed in my ear, and then Charlie, who quietly congratulated us and seemed thrilled to be welcoming a new granddaughter into the world in a few months.

Edward talked to his parents as I called Rose and Em, who were excited that they got to be around a baby girl. Em said that he would help protect her honor later on in life and I laughed as Edward hung up the phone and I passed him mine.

He talked to Emmett for a few minutes as I nervously waited for my phone back, anticipating calling Alice, who had not so secretly been rooting for a girl.

"Well, who's next," Edward chuckled as he handed me back my phone, winking as he started the car and pulled it out of the parking space.

With shaking hands, I called Alice, and waited impatiently for her to answer her office phone.

"So?" she asked anxiously as she answered, not even bothering to say hello.

"Hello to you too, Ali," I giggled as she laughed on her end.

"Yeah yeah, hey Bells. What's the news?" she squealed, and I could just imagine her bouncing around in her chair.

"Well," I said somberly, taking an exaggerated breath. "I guess you will get your wish to buy cute little dresses, because it's a girl."

She screamed in my ear happily and began babbling a mile a minute.

"Oh, yay! Now we can go buy some cute little summer dresses, and tiny little sandals. We have to get her a cute little swimsuit and some fun little hats. Oh, and tiny little socks….."

I laughed as I listened to her ramble on and on about all the things she was going to buy for my daughter and took hold of Edward's hand as he drove us home.

In a few short months, our life was going to be thrown into complete chaos, but I had every bit of faith in the fact that we would make it through everything together.

**

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Nostalgicmiss A/N****: ****Hi guys, I'm sorry once again, this is all my bad, we were supposed to post on Friday, and I was the one that went MIA . . . sorry ****hangs head****  
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**To all of you that followed us throughout, thank you. You are all amazing and completely wonderful, you gave us inspiration and certainly a good few laughs. We appreciate the title of best collab at the indies too!!!  
**

**To goldentemptress . . . thank you for sharing this experience with me, and I am so happy for you and the happiness of bump!!  
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**To miztrezboo and bemylullaby, thank you for being your awesome selves, and nagging me to write the last chapter.  
**

**I love you all . . . . thank you!!!**

**Goldentemptress A/N: Don't let L take all the blame, I am a slacker too and forgot I still needed to write this thing……I would blame the hormones, but yeah, that's just me….. :D**

**Thank you to NM who decided to take this huge jump with me into AU/AH fics, it has been and awesome experience and I could not have had a better writing partner….**

**Also, thank you to all of our wonderful readers and reviewers who voted for the Indies, it was amazing to see Socks win an award…..**

**I'm sad that this is the end, but as we said on the forum, we will work, probably slowly, on the outtakes we planned for the story and they will be posted on the Dryer Monster story. (Including the Thanksgiving chapter)**

**We hope that you like how we have tied up the storyline, hopefully everyone got an adequate HEA…..**


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